works vs. grace

Having “been there and come back”, nothing irritates me more than self righteous people (of whom I used to be one) who think they know all the answers about non-essential issues like family size, clothing, church attendance, music, and what-have-you.   Actually, their beliefs don’t bother me as much.  It’s the judgmental attitude that  looks down on anyone who doesn’t believe the same way, or the trying, in a condescending, legalistic way to teach/enlighten others on “the truth”.  I hate even bringing it up in blog-land.  I believe it is a shame of the church that pretty much every denomination deals with….judging one another and trying to manipulate our own sanctification process.  But I think it is important to talk about because this is the reason that we need to meditate more on the concept of grace, and also the reality of the LOVE of God toward sinners.    I want to say what C.S. Lewis said, “Go further up and further in” … the life of a genuine, humble believer is just that—beautiful, attractive, lovely, not freakish or proud.  Honestly, we all naturally suffer from making mistakes in our lives and speech (the Lord knows I often say or react in ways that are not very lovely) but IN GENERAL, I want to be the person who accepts, loves, listens, nurtures, and I want to go to a church where I feel safe and accepted, where the burdens of life are lifted for a while in the praise and adoration of my Savior (I am thankful that we do go to a church like that).

My mind and soul have been meditating on the grace and love of God because, really, these truths are the blessed antidote to the poison of self-righteousness and religiosity that looks to human good works rather than accepts the fact that we all NEED HIM for our everything, always. I search my Bible,  books, and journals for the sweet truths of Christ that He has led me to through the years; and this Christian life is simple and beautiful. His ways are rest and peace, his burdens are light, He carries us in His loving arms and oh sometimes I just cannot seem to wait for the day when I am done with this life and on to glory-land!

Helpful words::

This is from the book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen:

“In a works-righteousness system, if you stumble under the load you are carrying, the ministry you will receive will not be mercy and grace.  You will not hear Matthew 5:3, ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit’–that is, ‘Blessed are those who recognize they can’t carry the load,’–‘for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Rather, you will be encouraged to ‘try a little harder’ and ‘do a little more.’  In some cases you may be shamed for ‘not being committed enough’.  

There is also performance-based Christianity, a most common malady among Christians.  It manifests itself this way.  After having understood the truth of Ephesians 2:8-9—‘For by grace you have been saved…..’–and having had the load of sin removed for salvation, we then lay on a load of personal performance for sanctification, service, and to receive further blessings.

It works something like this.  We are very careful to help people understand that Jesus is their only hope for salvation.  ‘He saved us, not the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy’ (Titus 3:5)  But for successful Christian living, we give the same message they had to reject in order to get saved.  ‘Just do it’  ‘Try hard.’  ‘Do more.’ ‘It’s up to you.’  We pile up a load of expectations, regulations, formulas and rules.  Almost without noticing, we begin to live the same way we did before we met Jesus, hoping that with all our effort we will someday, some way, measure up.  But we never do measure up; we continue to carry the load and call it ‘the abundant life.’

This dynamic is really not that hard to spot.  In a performance-based system, you will be the bearer of the burden.  In a grace-based system, you will be constantly directed to Jesus as your only hope, encouraged to rest in Him as your only source of life and power.” 

*******

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Come to the waters,
whoever is thirsty;
drink from the Fountain that never runs dry.
Jesus the Living One, offers you mercy,
life more abundant in boundless supply.

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Come to the River that flows through the city,
forth from the throne of the Father and Son.
Jesus the Savior says, ‘Come and drink deeply.’
Drink from the one, inexhaustible One.

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Come to the fountain without any money;
buy what is given without any cost.
Jesus, the gracious one, welcomes the weary:
Jesus, the selfless one, died for the lost.

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Come to the well of unmerited favor;
Stretch out your hand; fill your cup to the brim.
Jesus is such a compassionate Savior.
Draw from the grace that flows freely from Him.

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Come to the Savior, the God of Salvation.
God has provided an end to sin’s strife.
Why will you suffer the Law’s condemnation?
Take the free gift of the water of life.

James Montgomery Boice, 2000

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Nothing shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:19

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Many hear God say, ‘do more’ and ‘do better’.  But not, ‘Ive done it all for you-rest.
Yet this is what Jesus meant when He said, ‘Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden….
Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me…..
for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Randy Alcorn

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….to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace….. Romans 8:6

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Surely the Lord is my help; God is the one who sustains me.  Psalm 54:4

******

I realize that I cannot articulate what is in my heart properly, but I wanted to share the best way I could, some of the things that I’m thinking about these days.  My friends, you are loved and acceptable.  Rest in Christ today.   I have little ones playing outside.  David caught a crayfish and wants to eat it, Jacob and Ethan are painting Grace’s room as she reads a book, a soccer game is playing loudly on the TV.  I am going to get to work in the kitchen, to make a big corn-chip salad (our favorite summer lunch) and perhaps some pizza dough, too.

Have a great day!

six flags

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There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart. ~Celia Thaxter

Jacob and Ethan were invited to go with Zachary to Six Flags and yesterday, while they were getting ready to go, my sister Amanda called and asked if I would *go to Six Flags with her*.  She had season passes for her and her children, and they could each bring a friend free that day.  When Caroline came to pick up the boys I told her I was going, too, and she asked if I would take Allie with me as she had no room in her car for her daughter to go with the boys and Allie wanted to go.

IT WAS SUCH A FUN DAY!

We’ve lived in this area for about 14 years and I finally went to Six Flags for the first time.  I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of rides that Seth and Sarah could ride, and I could go on the majority of them with them.

It was a hot day, but dry rather than humid, so we kept spraying on the sunscreen and away we went from one ride to another, to the water park, to more rides, and over priced soda and food, with which to sustain us.  I also brought juice and fruit, and Amanda brought crackers and peanut butter.

We saw the older boys once and they were having a great time.  Amanda couldn’t get over how Jacob and Ethan had grown into men over the last few months she had not seen them.

Surprisingly, little Sarah LOVED all the rides.  To hear her giggle and see her bright eyes was such a delight.  As soon as we got off a ride she asked to go on another.

Seth was tired but perked up after soda and after the sun went down at dusk.  He scared us at one point by taking himself to the bathroom.  He said that he told us he was going, but we didn’t hear him.  Praise the Lord he got himself back to us (there were crowds of people).

Caleb cried when his beloved championship baseball hat flew off on a fast ride.

The only ride Sarah didn’t like at all was the white water rapids, she explained that she hates waterfalls (falling on her face).

In total, it was Amanda and myself, plus Grace, Abbie, Allie, David, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah.

Amanda left with her three at dinner time and since it was my first time there I stayed another couple of hours to get a full day in.

Oh and did I mention, that along with Amanda’s guest passes, the people in front of us in line also shared their 3 guest passes so that I did not have pay for a single entrance fee!  I love Random Acts of Kindness, they do happen and I always take note!!  People are lovely.

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the little kids’ swing ride

 

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sitting in a tea cup with Sarah Joy (we rode this twice…we rode a lot of things twice!)

 

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David my little boy who loves to fly, and wants to fly, got to fly…..on the ZOOM JETS

 

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My fun children (plus Allie, who is only “sort of” mine)  I love these people.

 

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“hot air balloon ride” -not the one his hat blew away on-

 

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Sarah and me, with giggles of joy

 

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Seth got to ride on a wild ride which Sarah was too short for.  He sat with Grace, and when it was over he ran back and waved his arms around to show me how the ride went.  Isn’t he handsome?  A favorite memory is watching him dance to some of the songs that played in the park, “I like to move it-move it” was his favorite.

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It was the ride the hat blew away on….Caleb was told by the workers that he could get his hat back after the park closed for the night at 11pm.  When I told Rich on the phone later, he said that maybe I could drive back the next morning to get it, to which I replied sarcastically, “Oh, yes!”  And he said, “Thank you, that’s so nice of you Shan.”  LOL  I figured it would be easier to see if Coach has an extra?  Pandemonium was the name of that ride which is exactly what it caused in Caleb’s life.

 

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I was admiring Grace’s eyes, which were bloodshot at this point, but still pretty.  She was a wonderful helper, so were Allie and Abbie, they made a happy threesome, and were SO good to the younger ones (they don’t take any shenanigans, either, which also helps maintain order!).

I think one of the best parts of the day was getting funnel cakes, cheese fries, soda, and slushies with the older kids while Amanda went on a couple rides with the little ones.  Such fun, with an instant energy boost from the junk food.

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One last ride on the merry-go-round.  After it started, Grace put her hands down and rode holding the horse with her knees, I could tell she was pretending it was real.

 

last little league games of the season

It is around 7:30 in the morning and Sarah and I are the only ones awake.  She is tucked in on the couch, warm and toasty, with a pile of books.  She has already eaten a bowl of fruit.  She is my early bird this morning because she is the only one in the family who went to bed at a reasonable hour.  It’s summer!

What a beautiful weekend we had with bright sunny weather and cool nights.  We haven’t had to turn the air conditioners on yet this summer, the humidity has been practically nonexistent.  Yes, the weekend was lovely and on Saturday we got started on Grace’s room.  She and I have plans to redecorate it and it’s such fun pinning photos together on pinterest.  We are painting over her bright pink walls with a light minty green, and a new daybed/trundle is on it’s way from pottery barn.  Currently, the contents of her room are in the upstairs hallway and her little sister’s room.  It is awful messy up there.  We have a lot to do before this project is over, but the main thing is WE HAVE BEGUN and the walls have been primed, ready for their first coat of paint.

Yesterday morning I sat up in bed and stared at the clock, which I believed could not be right.  Then, I picked up my phone to look; it was 9:21.  I woke up Rich and asked him what time he thought it was, “7?” he guessed.   He was shocked when I told him it was almost 9:30.  I don’t think we have slept in that long since we were newlyweds, almost 18 years ago.  Needless to say, we only made it for the actual church service, and not Sunday School.

After church was over, we drove straightaway to the Little League field for five year old Seth’s last game of the season.  As soon as medals were handed out and the sound of the music faded away I felt so lighthearted, we had survived season 2014 with three boys in three different levels of play, on three different teams.  I only cried once, when David’s coach reprimanded me about him not making it to as many practices and games as he should have (I lost him in the shuffle, and the text messages were going to the wrong parent)  No, I did NOT cry in front of the coach (and yes, I was very overtired at the time).  I needed the pep talk, he didn’t miss a single practice or game after that.

ANYWAY, David and Caleb had play offs this past Wednesday and that morning I sighed and wished that (my brother) Uncle Dave could come and watch; so I texted him and just sort of teasingly asked him to come (it’s a 3 1/2 hour trip to our place) and he said no, but then said “I’ll think about it”.  I didn’t hear back from him until 1:00, when he called and said he got busy at work and couldn’t make it.  I said “I understand, it’s okay.”  “What are you doing?” he asked, changing the subject.  “Oh, I’m in bed with Seth, he’s sleeping.”

“WELL, HE BETTER WAKE UP BECAUSE I’M IN THE DRIVEWAY!” he yelled.

I got up and ran around the house telling the kids to come quick to see who had arrived!

Yes, surprise and joy; Uncle Dave drove out all spur of the moment to watch his little nephews play ball, in what could possibly be their last games of the year.

We hung around, visiting here at home until it was time to leave for the games.  Jacob showed us his card tricks.  Unfortunately for the teenagers, they had already made plans for an evening at the lake, so they left at 4….and I headed to the fields with my brother in the passenger seat beside me.  I drove him through to see the schools, and we had such a great time at the games, although it got to be late and he had a long drive home.

He drove back to his house through the worst rainstorm and lightening of his life, but was safely in bed by 1:30 that morning.

It was a WONDERFUL day, and I’m so thankful to God for my awesome brother (we are just a year and 3 months apart in age).  My very first best friend.

OH and the boys won their games.

(we watched both games at once, standing in between the fields).

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Uncle Dave eating lunch, about an hour after he arrived.

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Uncle Dave and Sarah, right after she woke up from nap.  He’s playing piggy with her toes.

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With Sarah and Caleb (phone pic)

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saying goodbye to Gracie

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a hug for Ethan

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at the park for the little league games

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He was taking pictures of Caleb the catcher.  (this was one of those “oh, this is so wonderful” moments for me)

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hanging around with Sarah Joy

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this handsome guy was there, too … I love how he gets nervous for our boys as they play….

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playing catch with Seth

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 I love this picture of happy Seth.

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Uncle Dave took Seth over to the Food Shack so he could pick out a candy bar.  He came back and said “I think he had it scoped out because he picked the biggest one!”

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They loved their peanut butter cups.  Thank you, Dave, for being fun and strong and wonderfully YOU.

********

Championship game, Friday

Would you believe it?

Both our teams won, and Dave hit a home run!

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David, number 14

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getting congratulations from the coach after the game was won

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walking around, tossing the glove, happy

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Caleb and his coach after they won their game, too

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waiting for their trophies

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my happy boys!

******

one last cute moment::

I bought Seth his first two wheeler on Friday and he brought it to the games.

He rode alone, up and down the path by the fields, with a whistle in his mouth, using it as horn when people needed to get out of the way.

Everyone smiled to see this darling:

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Happy Monday, friends!

God is good.

new from old ::: throw pillows

Ever since I got married, I’ve kept clippings from magazines of house and home decorating ideas.  Through the years I have come to discover that a beautiful fabric can inspire my homemaker instincts like nothing else.  Things like bedding, curtains, kitchen towels, table clothes, and throw pillows in gorgeous, unique material help to make a house a home.

My journals and pinterest boards include many images of rooms containing favorite home linens, and with these images in mind, I have learned to keep a look out for ways to bring the things I love to life, for my own home.

Favorite places to shop include thrift stores and antique shops.  Almost every weekend I duck into the local shops to see what they have, and almost always come away with something.   I can find linens quite regularly, at wonderfully low prices.  Each season brings new ideas and collections.  At times I have searched for handmade crocheted doilies.  Last summer it was pillowcases with embroidery,  a few years ago, vintage tablecloths were what got my heart to thumping.

Now that I have plenty of those particular items, my newest passion has developed into throw pillows.  This winter I made one using scraps of old patchwork pieces that I found at a second hand store.

Today I made three more, using three quilt blocks that I bought for 3 dollars a piece at an antique store.  On that same day, I also found some vintage Waverly fabric, and another piece of green and pink material that I thought would make good backings for the pillows.  I paid less than 20 dollars for everything, and I absolutely love to use another (mystery) person’s beginning work to complete a finished product.  It’s rather ridiculously easy to sew a simple pillow using someone else’s quilt block.  I haven’t done it, but many crafters will cut up old quilts (that have age problems, stains, or holes) to repurpose them into something new.

G A T H E R I N G

The next time you go to a thrift shop, rummage through the bins for fabric.  Pull out anything that catches your eye and pay attention to your reaction to the piece, do you love it?  It you love it, buy it!

Whenever I find myself running low on stuffing for the pillows, I place another order online and have it shipped to my door.  In this way, I avoid the temptation of yet another store.

The fun is saving money while making something unique and beautiful.  I have such joy when I spend next to nothing, especially when pillows (or what have you) at department stores cost anywhere between 10-50 dollars, depending on quality.

Through the years I have gathered everything that I need to for sewing: a machine from Sears, good scissors, pins and pincushion, and so on.  I keep my things out on a table in my bedroom, ready to use.

Once you have gathered enough things to make a pretty pillow, wash the fabric on delicate cycle in your washing machine, or wash by hand in the sink.  Hang them on the clothesline to dry in the fresh air.

Unfortunately, you will indeed have to iron the fabric after it dries.  If you play music or whistle as you iron, it’s not as terrible.

Pin the back to the front wrong side out, and sew carefully around the edge, leaving a space big enough in which to stuff the pillow.

Turn it right side out and stuff according to personal preference.  I prefer to sink into my pillows rather than bounce off them, so I stuff mine lightly.

Sew the hole shut, and snip off any long threads.   Now you have a simple but lovely pillow *or two or three* to scatter across your bed.

I kept my project very simple, but you can be as creative as you wish, with trims and so on.

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My daughter helped me with color combinations, and during the first pillow, I gave my son a sewing-maching lesson.

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I love how this blue and pink pillow was quilted in such similar fabrics, it has the effect of a kaleidoscope.

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The navy blue fabric was the “Waverly bonded fabric in Harvest Moon”,  I have enough left to do something else with it, too.

 

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Made up bed with the whole collection of throw pillows.  The bedspread is (the back of) a Garnet Hill quilt.

The pillow on the very far left is the first one I made using found quilt pieces.

book recommendations for kids, from a 14 year old avid reader

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My daughter Grace has stacks of books in her room and I thought it would be fun to ask her to chose some of them as a recommendation to my blogging friends (and their children).   She is a very experienced reader and is also a writer.

I took pictures of her copies of the books and then asked her to tell me about them.  I typed down what she said.  Enjoy!

 

GRACE’S BOOK PICKS (more posts like this to come, as she has more that she wants to share with you.)

By the way, she has read them all more than once.

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The Underneath, by Kathi Appelt

It’s a story about a cat.  The cat becomes friends with a dog and when the cat has kittens the dog and the cat raise the kittens together.  The owner of the dog was abusive and when one of the kittens goes out from underneath the porch he tried to drown it.  The mother cat saves it’s life, but in doing so she drowns, poor thing.  The book also includes many other animals, and told from the perspective of many different characters in the book.  The book is very well written and it’s a story about love and sacrifice.  If you are kind hearted will love this book.   I don’t think anyone who isn’t kind hearted would read books, but that’s just my opinion.  If you like animals you will like this book.  I did my first book report ever on this book, the summer I was about to go to public school for the first time.

 

The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles, by Julia Andrews Edwards

This book reminds me of the Narnia books.  There are three children and they go to visit the zoo.  When they are at the zoo they meet a strange old man.  This man introduces them to the land of the Whangdoodle, which probably has a different name but I don’t remember it.  He tells the children about this place because children have very good imaginations and they will believe almost anything.  To visit this land you need to use your imagination.  I got this book from Ethan and it was given to him by Mom and Dad, Jacob also read it.  I liked this book.  (laughs)  The younger girl, Lindy, reminds me of Lucy (from Narnia) who reminded me of myself.  And the two other boys, Ben and Tom, reminded me of Jacob and Ethan.  Our mother told us that she got this book for us because she said that we all had great imaginations and we would all be able to picture the great Whangdoodle in our minds.  (“did I really say this?”  “yes, you did”)  And because of this, we all attempted to draw it.  

 

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The Fledgling, by Jane Langton

This story is about a girl named Georgie who claims she can remember being able to fly.   She tries to fly again but this doesn’t work very well, (laughs), poor Georgie.  No one in her family will believe her, and she meets a goose.  This goose is a goose prince, he teaches her how to fly.  I liked this book, I remember liking it but I don’t quite remember why.

“And whenever his customers brought their children into his bank, he would open the gate that separated his desk from the windows of the tellers and stroll up to the children, beaming, and pat their heads and hand them lollipops.  Some of the children would say thank you.  They were the good children.  Others would stop up their mouths with the lollipops and stare back at him sullenly.  They were the bad ones.  And then Mr Preek’s generosity would turn sour, and he would go back to his desk in solemn scorn.”  page 42

 

Young Fredle, by Cynthia Voigt

This book is about mice who live in a house and then one mouse gets out of the house quite by accident and finds himself in the world.  He ends up trying to survive chickens and raccoons and countless other things, while trying to get back into the house.  When he finally does get back, he tells all of the other mice stories about what he saw outside and because of this all the mice go to live outside.  I wanted to read this to David but that didn’t happen because he got bored.  There was a cat named Patches (we had a cat with that name once).  I liked it because it was about a mouse and I never read a book about a mouse before and he had to survive many animals that we wouldn’t think were dangerous.

 

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Cryptid Hunters, by Roland Smith

The Cryptid Hunters is about twins named Grace and Marty who are both very smart.  Even though they are both smart, Grace is obviously smarter.  These two children are at a boarding school because their father is an explorer (I think).  Their mother was a photographer.  One day in school the twins are called down to the principal’s office and told that their parents were in a car crash and didn’t survive.  They go to live with their Uncle Wolfe (whom they didn’t know exsisted), who lives on an island.  He is an veterinarian and is trying to find cryptids.  Cryptids are creatures whose existence haven’t been proven, like Sasquatch.    The twins end up getting stranded in the Congo.  The main part of the story is about their adventures in the Congo.  I’ve read this book a lot.

“The turning point for the O’Hara family came when the twins were six years old.  Marty decided he wanted to catch a bear.  He and Grace dug a five foot deep pit in the back yard, covered the opening with brush, and caught their mother, who became as angry as a bear.  The twins didn’t understand why she was upset. They had not used the sharpened stakes in bottom of the pit which the instructions had called for.  (Marty wanted the bear alive for show and tell at school.)  While Mrs. O’Hara was in the hospital recovering from her injuries, she got to thinking about the direction her life had taken.  She missed her husband.  She missed her former independence.  But most of all, she missed the wild places her cameras had taken her to.  ‘If I’m going to fall in pits I might as well get paid for it’, she decided.  And soon after her release she took the twins and joined Mr. O’Hara in the field.  This did not work for very long.  Grace was afraid of everything that moved (and many things that didn’t).  Marty was afraid of nothing but ghosts, which he had only read about.  For the twins own safety the O’Haras decided that Marty and Grace should stay at home.  They hired a succession of live-in nannies to care for the children, but none of them lasted long.  One by one, these disgruntled women fled the house with hastily packed bags, shouting back at the twins’ panicky parents, ‘Your son is as wild as a hurricane, and that daughter of yours is just plain weird.'”

(I beg Grace to stop reading)

(she continues, but I stop typing)

 

The Fisherman, by Larry Huntsman

Dad recommended this book for me.  He told me that when he was reading it he kept thinking of me and how much I would like it.  So of course I read it.  It’s a Biblical retelling of the gospels, written in Simon Peter’s perspective about Jesus’ ministry.  I thought it was very interesting.  I’ve read it three times.

 

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I liked it’s cover, it had a horse on it which is probably why I read it.

Tucket’s Travels, by Gary Paulsen

Francis and his family are on a wagon train when Francis gets kidnapped by Indians.  He escapes with the help of a one-armed mountain man whom he becomes good friends with.  He spends the rest of the book trying to get back to his family.  On the way he finds two children, Lottie and Billy, who’s parents  had died, so he takes them with him.  I’ve read this book a lot.  My favorite character is Lottie, because she talks a lot and never shuts up.  She talks about the most random things that pop into her head. (mom will tell you that I am like that with her, although I don’t talk like that to anyone else.  She has to listen to me and love me regardless.)   The book made me cry, it was very touching.  

 

***********

thoughts upon the last day of school

My school children had their last day of it, yesterday.  I had a light hearted feeling in the morning, looking forward to their return, knowing how happy they were to finish up a good year.  Four of them came home on the buses, but I had drive to get Grace, who had to stay after for music.  On the way up to the school I saw the sign that wished the elementary principal good luck on his retirement and I got to thinking…….

I liked that principal.  He was thoughtful and didn’t rush through programs, he was efficient but took the time to care.   I didn’t want him to leave.

Sometimes all of a sudden, the constant moving and shifting of life HURTS.

Caleb sat me down and showed me everything in his backpack from the school year and I was sad because I liked his teacher and now third grade is over.

David’s teacher gave him an old lego set from the classroom and I was sad because he figured David out and saw his gifts, he was another great teacher and now for Dave, elementary school is behind him and middle school is coming in a few short months.

By the time Rich got home from work, I was sitting cross legged on the porch with Jacob and we were listening to melancholy songs and playing war.  He came over to talk to us and noticed I was trying not to let the tears spill over…….(Jacob immediately changed the music to the NFL theme song to make me laugh) and I did— through the tears, as I listed off all the things making me gloomy.  “Women crying make men feel awkward.”  Jacob remarked 10 minutes later when I told him that I noticed his Dad got inside as soon as he could and probably wouldn’t come back out.

I feel like the roller coaster of living is taking me to the tippy top and is about to speed-race me back down to the bottom.

This summer vacation will get me slowly to the crest and then — THE DROP.

At this point I’m crying because, like a child who has second thoughts at Six Flags, I don’t want to go down so fast and scary.

Graduation for the seniors was last night.  Rich had to take Grace up and drop her off to sing and usher.  “That place is packed, Shan, cars all over the place.”

I was thinking, “Next year we will be there, because Jacob will be graduating.”

Yes, Jacob will be a Senior, then the next year Ethan will be a Senior, then the very next year Grace will be a Senior.

And my two last babies:: Seth will be entering Kindergarten in the fall, and the very next year Sarah Joy will go, too.

So you can see, with all these changes at the door how this mama heart hurts a little.

It’s a possibility and I hope this is what happens:

When I do get to the top, maybe I’ll throw my hands up in the air and enjoy the excitement of the ride.

with their dad

Five or so years ago, one of Rich’s coworkers gave him two used basketball hoops that he didn’t want any longer.  They were the kind that were free standing and had to be held down in place with a sand filled bottom.  Eventually we found that they needed small boulders around the bottoms, too.  These basketball hoops were great fun for the family, but over the years the backboards broke, and the nets ripped off.  The children didn’t complain (that I know of) but when they went out to play, or had friends over, it was sort of sad to see them shooting hoops with this less than ideal set up.

There came a day, two weeks ago, when Rich had the time and energy to do something about the basketball hoops.  He took Ethan with him and drove to the nearest sporting goods store, only to discover than there were none in stock.  Nothing daunted, he got back in the truck with E and they drove another hour away to the only store that stocked what they needed.

For the rest of the day, Rich dug and dug, with Ethan by his side the entire time.  The hole needed to be a certain depth and width to properly sink the pole for the new hoop.  He did most of the digging, but after a while, when it was time to mix and pour the cement, Jacob and Ethan worked just as hard.  They ran out of cement and without a word to me, Rich drove back out to Home Depot (it was dark by this time) to buy some more…….leaving the boys to work by themselves until he returned.

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Rich had Jacob take a picture of Caleb in the hole before they started pouring cement.

 

After getting the cement poured, and the beginnings of the base inserted, they had to wait for it to thoroughly dry.  They were excited, and would have finished the project sooner, but Rich was away for four days last week on a business trip.  He returned on Thursday night, and on Saturday morning he went outside to finish the job, with all the boys around him.  They played loud music and worked, reading the instructions carefully, and doing each step the best they could possibly do, under Rich’s leadership.

He’s a leader first and foremost, in the home.

Jacob and Ethan had a party to go to and were gone most of the day, but Rich had plenty of children left to shoot hoops with.

Here he is, with Grace:

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The pole can adjust up and down so that the little boys can play, too.

When Rich played with the boys yesterday he played (as Ethan said) PHYSICAL.  He has no mercy on the older ones.   He plays rough on the teens, but in gentleness with the five year old (Seth was on his team) *when he remembered that Seth was there*.  After they were all tired out, Jacob went to change his shirt because it was covered in his Dad’s sweat.  They had a great time.

Especially the Dad.

When Rich takes his shirt off outside, Seth immediately takes his off, too.

It stopped me in my tracks to see their two shirts left behind:  Rich threw his up on the side of his truck, so Seth put his there, too.

It’s important to marry a good man, because the children will almost certainly, and naturally, follow his lead.

That truth wasn’t in my head when I said yes to Rich’s marriage proposal, so I am all the more thankful on my knees to God, for giving me this good man for my husband and for the father of our children.

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Often, the thing we are most gifted at is also the thing that gets annoying to our loved ones.  Rich always has to have things to do, and rarely just sits around. After being gone all week it was hard for him to just stop and sit by the wife on the couch.  On Saturday evening, after all that basketball playing, he had the nerve to say (right next to me!) that he was BORED.  (I’m smiling as I type).  Personally, I was tired, and with little Sarah sick with the stomach bug I was not going anywhere.  It was my suggestion that he take the children out to pizza (in this way, I didn’t have to think about what to serve for dinner) and he did.  At 7:00 pm, when I would have been thinking “It’s almost bedtime for the youngsters!”  he loaded them up and headed to the pizza place.

He sent me the picture.  I look at it and think, “KIDS WITH THEIR DAD”.  I love it.  Rich loves pizza and so do all the children.

It’s easy to be a good dad.  Just do what you want to do, what you enjoy doing, and, with a loving heart, take the kids along for the ride.

The loving heart part is the key.  Rich doesn’t TALK about his love as much as he shows it, and he shows it in ways that I remember and hold close in my heart.  Like when he gets sad because the older ones are almost grown up and will leave him soon.  Like when it bothers him more that it bother me, that Jacob has a girlfriend, because it’s another sign that his children are getting older………

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Sarah was sick yesterday, and Grace was at Baccalaureate,  so I took a few pictures in honor of Father’s day, of just Rich and his sons.  I like pictures in which the children wear what they like to wear….my only requirement was that the boys turn their shirts around because they each had words on the front.  Jacob is wearing socks because he hates going barefoot.  It might look funny in the photo, but to me it is beautiful because that’s the way he is.

 

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“To be honest, to be kind–to earn
a little and to spend a little less, to make
upon the whole a family happier for his presence…….”

Robert Lous Stevenson

 

 

{this moment}

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  inspired by soulemama

 

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