“When you are real shabbiness doesn’t matter.” Velveteen Rabbit
I am thinking about how cozy it is in the house when it is raining hard droplets of water, so hard that I can hear them hitting the driveway, the windows, the trees, the house, the roof.
It is so cozy that I wanted to snooze but I couldn’t turn off my thinking.
Instead of getting frustrated with myself, I gave myself some grace. I decided to eat some ice cream, along with one of David’s very rich homemade chocolatey chocolate brownies, and then I started the dishwasher, and …………. found my laptop so I could try to write. A tangled mind becomes smooth again as I type. All is grace and words can be wonderful.
News and Notes:
- Goodwill is the perfect place to buy books. Today I found The Living by Annie Dillard, Sacred Time, by Ursula Hegi, A Beautiful Blue Death, by Charles Finch, and Night, by Elie Weisel. I have Night at the Jekyll cottage but wanted an extra copy here.
- Sarah is at a friend’s house this afternoon and I’m so happy for her because she really does need time with girl friends. But I miss her, she’s my little chatterbox. The boys are here but you wouldn’t even know it.
- Seth had a check up yesterday — he grew four inches since last year.
- Wrestling season has started. My husband and son Ethan are the coaches for our HS team. Caleb is a captain on said team, and Seth is in his last year of youth wrestling. This sport season keeps us quite busy.
- Today I mailed out these particular items for ebay: 3 boxes vintage glass Christmas ornaments, a Dallas Starbucks mug, an angel figurine tea light, and a set of two Santa hot chocolate mugs. A nice old lady was amused by me juggling the boxes into the Post Office, and opened both doors for me which I thought was just the sweetest!
Thanksgiving was just wonderful. I can tell that my EMDR therapy has been life-changing because my nervous system and emotions were much calmer than ever before. I felt comfortable and safe in my own skin. In years past I would fret, internally fret non stop –about my “performance” as a hostess and feast-maker, the dishes I made, the words I said or didn’t say, all along with my body temperature rising and my cheeks getting flushed. This year I felt like I was surrounded by love and that I could do no wrong, because my family doesn’t care about performances, they care about being together and being close. (that’s what they’ve always cared about, but I was hard on myself, and a perfectionist). Truly, the day was over too soon.
It was simply lovely and I felt the Holy Spirit of God in the house. On a lesser holy note, I also asked for a lot more help this year than ever before. I made the turkey (two of them), stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy ONLY. And actually, I didn’t even end up peeling potatoes OR mashing OR making the gravy. Other people like my mom and niece and brothers did it. Brittnee did all the cleaning up. Thanks, everyone!
I’ve recently started getting up earlier in the morning so that I have more time in my day to enjoy. I find that I do not watch the clock and am able to immerse myself into my tasks. I don’t need constant distractions, either. i am able to be alone with my thoughts. Unless I’m trying to take a nap, which for some reason is a trigger because i find myself going back into dangerous thoughts that get me feeling melancholy. When that happens I know I need to get up and do something else.
I’ve been scrapbooking quite a bit, too, along with housekeeping, ebay, mothering, and spending time with Rich. Our weekend at the cabin was a whirlwind, we got so much done, leave it to two firstborns to buy a cabin and fully furnish it— in one weekend. And I had a cold the whole time.
Isn’t life interesting?
So now it’s getting dark, and it’s only 4pm.