“But only the strange power
Of unsought Beauty in some casual hour
Can build a bridge of light or sound or form
To lead you out of all this strife and storm….
One moment was enough,
We know we are not made of mortal stuff.
And we can bear all trials that come after,
The hate of men and the fool’s loud bestial laughter
And nature’s rule and cruelties unclean,
For we have seen the Glory—we have seen.“
-CS Lewis
Rich is away today for a meeting by the shore of Connecticut. Jacob and Ethan are at work, Grace is home with me and cheerful, David, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah will be home from school soon.
I did a lot of crying yesterday but look! I’m still here. I’ve felt like crying a few times today (even now) but so far…..have been able to restrain myself. I feel quiet and calm and deep down sad. This is an improvement over yesterday’s “my heart hurts so bad make it stop sobbing”.
There is a chicken bubbling in broth on the stove with celery, onion, and seasonings. When it’s done I will let it cool, take the meat off, and add it back to the broth with noodles for dinner. Or maybe I’ll make biscuits. This is an improvement over yesterday’s dinner of “nothing”.
Seth has a band concert tonight. Have I told you he plays the trumpet? He’s 10? A new player? Not very good? And it’s loud?
I went for one walk today so far and did some reading. Mainly I’ve been parked here in my favorite spot on the couch most of the day with my camera nearby to snap photos of birds visiting the porch feeders.
I saw six lady-slippers by the trail.
In all their affliction He was afflicted. And the Angel of His Presence saved them; In His love and in His pity He redeemed them; And He bore them and carried them all the days of of old. Isaiah 63:9
My mom wrote this verse in my journal for me when we visited last.
tiny soft pinecone
“He started carefully down the trail, knowing that at any moment something unexpected might happen……knowing that nothing was exactly what it seemed to be.” Anpao (newbery book) page 183
Then, my friend Bridgette sent me a link to an article about Charles Spurgeon and I read it with interest and copied down some quotes.
After this I continued reading Beartown and rested for a while.
Caleb just got home from school, Grace is reading and I’m going to go for my second walk and try to get the rest of my steps done (10,000 per day).
Thank you for stopping by, friends, you are loved.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
*just some slowly meditative pen scratchings in red ink of a beautiful Tozer quote
snowflake on a spiderweb
In the fading late afternoon, a light snow is falling. Caleb is giving Sarah a helping hand down to the pond because she’s teetering on ice skates.
She’s going to skate back and forth along the edge while he watches to make sure she’s safe.
snowflakes on dry leaves
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on Your wondrous works,
I will meditate. Psalm 145:5
snowflakes on ice
snowflakes on Ethan’s truck
and on a pine tree branch
Oh the loveliness of snowflakes!! So silent, so gentle.
The moments that I feel the most imbued with a sense of awe are always the moments when I am outdoors. I can’t help but feel a certain sense of wonder – I become almost filled with it. ~ Kathi Appelt
*****
recommended podcast episode that goes along with this post: 3 Ways to Feel Less Busy
(the first way is to “give yourself a shot of awe”)
It’s October. This morning a soft mild breeze brought down 100 yellow leaves, tossing and turning them before they landed with a papery sound on the driveway. I saw Walter Kitty looking up, up, up, his head turning this way and that, watching the leaves. His first autumn.
The way water reflects colorful leaves and sunshine, like a stained glass window, is breathtaking. Every scene is much lovelier than a video, or painting, or a photograph. There are no smells of earth, or sounds of nature, in a mere picture.
“Woman’s life today is tending more and more toward the state William James describes so well in the German word, ‘Zerrissenheit–torn-to-pieces-hood.’ She cannot live perpetually in ‘Zerrissenheit.’ She will be shattered into a thousand pieces. On the contrary, she must consciously encourage those pursuits which oppose the centrifugal forces of today. Quiet time alone, contemplation, prayer, music, a centering line of thought or reading, of study or work. It can be physical or intellectual or artistic, any creative life proceeding from oneself. It need not be an enormous project or a great work. But it should be something of one’s own. Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day–like writing a poem, or saying a prayer. What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.”
Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, page 56
Like most mothers, my days are busy from start to finish. Yesterday even more so. The children didn’t have school so I left a list of chores for David and Sarah to complete while I was gone, and took Caleb, along with Seth, to his orthopedic doctor’s appointment, 45 minutes away through morning rush hour city traffic. The appointment was over an hour long in a tiny room, mostly waiting, with Caleb leaving twice for xrays. We left with the orders that he could not throw anymore until his shoulder heals, as he has what’s commonly called “Little League Shoulder”, which means that the growth plate in the shoulder is inflammed by over-use in throwing baseballs and footballs. Ironically, I was suffering from a stiff neck all day and still am this morning. We ate lunch, relieved to finally know why Caleb’s shoulder was hurting and happy that with rest it should heal up nicely. We did some shopping and came home with just enough time to get ready for music lessons, and then on to football and cheerleading practice. Then, loud and happy goofing around in the house afterwards as they ate a bedtime snack, took showers, and David chased the family pets around the house, scaring them half to death with his dragon hand puppet.
*********
In the midst of this day of mine, I took out my camera and enjoyed God’s lovely world in the small green grassy yard by the music building downtown. Seth and I saw a pretty creek, trees with bright leaves, unusual mushrooms, and we took each other’s picture.
Now I’m taking a quiet moment to write here, feet up on the coffee table and dishwasher running in the kitchen, and I’m quite positive Anne Morrow Lindbergh would approve.
The boys found me writing in my journal, still in bed, when they woke up. They also found our big beautiful (but very shy) black cat and to our surprise, he allowed himself to be loved……..
…..while petting the cat, Caleb cleared his throat and asked, “Mom could you make pancakes this morning? The ones with cinnamon?”
“You mean your favorite ones that you always ask me to make?”
“Yeah.”
1 1/4 cups flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 large egg
1/1/4 cups buttermilk (I keep dry in the pantry and add it to milk)
2 tablespoons oil
Mix dry ingredients and in a separate bowl mix the wet, then pour wet into dry to combine. Fry on griddle alongside sausage or bacon. Serve with warmed maple syrup and, in my case, a sliced banana. Yum! Maybe they will be your favorites, now, too!
*******
“The Swedish artist Carl Larsson made the everyday life of his wife Karin and their seven children the subject of his most famous watercolors. Instead of idealizing everything in its place, he painted what he saw; the dog asleep on the parlor floor, cast-off slippers, a rumpled sofa scattered with newspapers. These are the frames of a home movie shot by a doting father and an artist who focused his lens on the comforts of the real and unadorned home.” a perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life by mary randolph carter
purple finch at the feeder
The glow of the pond.
I’m sitting in my room, I had to get away from Grace so I could focus. I get easily distracted by her because we have lots to talk about (anything that comes to mind becomes a conversation). I thought I would be all alone in here but Samantha-cat just appeared out of hiding and jumped on the bed.
Jacob, Ethan, and Grace are home for the summer and it’s wonderful (the only time it’s not wonderful is if I am over-tired or have PMS). But seriously I do think it’s wonderful. I’m not just saying that. I no longer have that feeling of “I wonder what the older children are doing”– I know what they are doing. I can see them. Jacob rides to work every morning with his Dad and Ethan goes to work in Jacob’s car. I see them in the mornings getting ready. This morning Jacob asked me where the nail clippers were, and half an hour later his brother Ethan was wondering where tweezers were, he had a sliver in the bottom of his foot from going traipsing barefoot through the woods (photos of that tomorrow, possibly).
During the day it’s still quiet. The children have gone to work and to school.
Every evening is unpredictable family craziness. Practices? Games? Someone missing (briefly)? Big dinners, a whole pie getting eaten so fast so you better get a piece while you can, dirty bowls and cups being left all over the house, laundry piling up, homework reminders, tv turned up and up, loud talking, loud laughing, coins being thrown super hard and me getting mad about it, fortnight gaming, singing, playing the piano, telling the boys to take the garbage out, Seth can’t find a pencil, etc………going to bed and hearing the noice of the older kids getting ready to go to bed, too. Lights being left on. And then the house is quiet again.
It (photographing this blog post) all started after dinner last evening, when I went out to the mailbox to mail a letter and was surprised by a wild rabbit who didn’t seem afraid of me in the least. I stood still and he stood still. Then, he “came back to life” and commenced his snacking on dandelions and grass. The dandelions have turned into their moon-like state and I was amused that he picked them with his teeth at the base of the stem and ate it, end-to-top. It was funny to watch the stem slowly disappear into his mouth with “the moon” last but not least. I went inside to get the camera and when I returned, he was eating grass. I am a bit concerned as the vegetable garden is nearby, newly planted with radishes, spinach, herbs, and peas. Will he be eating that next? I named him John.
And then I wandered around with my camera.
I absolutely love the look of this photo of a cardinal in the tall dead tree on the edge of our property (dead tree=GIANT bird perch).
mourning dove & male cardinal
I stood and looked up up up into a very tall pine trees to sight this bird. It was singing an evening song with its back to me. Finally it looked over its shoulder and I got this amazing photo. (I had my big zoom lens with me).
It flew to a different branch. I am almost positive that its a female scarlet Tanager.
Thoughts? I never knew the females were yellow! What a beautiful bird-couple they make. Now I will be on the look-out for the male. I hope I see it!!
I think I took about 25 photos of that bird and then it flew away and I moved on.
Lady Slippers (a favorite wild flower) are in bloom now.
Seth (9 years old) saw this photo and said, “Beautiful moon!”
I sat and watched this duck pair for quite a while. They were peacefully together on the stream at the dam, bathing and grooming their feathers. The female must have enjoyed this stretch with her foot because she held it long enough for me to take several photos. I love the curled up feathers on the male’s tail, and the purple color on the female’s wing.
I walked up the hill and in the distance, where the water of the stream enters the dark woods, I saw a blue heron standing in a pool of water, probably finding some tasty dinner. I was thrilled to see it and get a photo before it moved out of sight. (It saw me as soon as I saw it and it was very suspicious of me right away.)
I went home and found the family sitting around in the living room getting ready to finish watching a movie they had started the night before. It wasn’t a movie I was especially interested in so I got ready for bed and did some reading. I finished a book titled, When I was a Slave, Memoirs from the Slave Narrative Collection, and it was very interesting in a sad, inspirational way. Here is a quote I keep thinking about:
“One thing dat’s all wrong with dis world today is dat day ain’t no ‘prayer grounds.’ Down in Georgia where I was born–dat way back in 1852–us colored folks had prayer grounds. My mammy’s was a old twisted thick-rooted muscadine bush. She’d go in here and pray for deliverance of de slaves. Some colored folks cleaned out knee-spots in de canebrakes. Cane, you know, grows high and thick, and colored folks could hide demselves there and nobody could see and pester dem.”
Andrew Moss, 85 years old
It’s the concept of having a great need and therefore NEEDING TO PRAY. It’s the idea of KNEE SPOTS. All day long since reading it, that term comes to my mind. When was the last time I got down on my knees to pray? All the nature that surrounds me, and do I have even ONE “knee spot” to go to in order to pray to the God I love? Where is my sense of great need? Great gratitude? Great praise? Why go to the knees? After all, I do pray during each day, but oh my, in order to pray on my knees I would have to stop everything else I was doing………….and therein lies the beauty and soul-nourishment of “knee-spots”……..
“Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.” Ephesians 6:13-18
These are some of the things on my mind this morning as I start the day. I also took this photo through the window of Rich’s office, which is why it’s so hazy, but still a beautiful bird.
Go on doing the little things,
no matter how small,
only making sure that you breathe love into them.
Let them fall where they may,
no matter into what heart,
no matter how silently,
no matter how hopeless may seem the soil into which they drop,
no matter how you yourself may appear
to be forgotten
or overlooked
as you do your deeds of kindness,
and speak your words of love.
These words and deeds and influences of yours are living seeds,
and not one of them shall perish!
J.R. Miller
The ministry of kindness is unceasing. It fills all the days and all the nights. In the true home, it begins in pleasant greetings with the first waking moments, and all day goes on in sweet courtesies, in thoughtful attentions, in patience, in quiet self-denials, in obligingness and helpfulness.
Out in the world kindness goes everywhere with . . .
its good cheer,
its gladness of heart,
its uplift for those who are discouraged,
its strengthening words for those who are weary,
its sympathy with sorrow,
its interest in lives that are burdened and lonely.
Some of us, if we were to try to sum up the total of our usefulness, would name a few great things we have done:
a gift of money to some benevolent object,
the starting of some good work which has grown into strength,
the writing of a book which has done good to many lives,
the winning of honor in some service to our community or to our country.
But in every worthy life, that which has left really the greatest measure of good, has been its ministry of kindness. No record of it has ever been kept. People have not talked about it. It never has been mentioned in the newspapers. We do not even remember it ourselves. But wherever we have gone, day after day, if we have simply been kind to everyone, we have left blessings in the world which in the aggregate mean far more than the few large things we set down as the measure of our usefulness among men!
Our Lord’s wonderful picture of the Judgment reveals another phase of the splendor of kindness. He tells us that the little things we do — feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, showing hospitality to the stranger, visiting the sick, and the other nameless ministries of love of which we take no account — if done in the right spirit, are accepted as though they had been actually done to Christ himself! He tells us that the godly will be surprised to know that in their kindly acts they had been ministering to the King, when they supposed they were only doing little things for needy neighbors. This revealing exalts to highest honor, the lowliest things of the common days, wrought in love for the Master.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
~J.R. MILLER~
I found a new podcast that I listen to as I walk and it never ceases to soften my heart. The speaker simply reads excerpts from books or essays from various spiritual writers. His voice is soothing but –be aware–the children will laugh. I was listening to it when I picked up David from track practice and he dropped his head back on the seat pretending to be put sound asleep by the voice reading to us.
The name of the podcast is Inspirational Living. Yesterday was a reading from J.R. Miller called Be of Good Cheer: The Blessings of Cheerfulness. Miller has been quoted many times on this blog, so I thought it was high time to quote him again. There is a great website full of Miller’s writing you might want to go peruse it…GRACE GEMS. Highly recommended.
Lily of the valley is coming into bloom. I found some in the ditch as I walked yesterday and picked one so I could enjoy it’s lovely scent.
A little peak at the flower garden by the patio and garage. Hens and Chicks, Phlox, and Iris.
The best part of the day, besides figuring out the Marco Polo app so I could video text with my friend Lea Ann……..
…….was these two fine young men returning home for the summer.
We were all so happy as we ran to the car to see them. They had quite a morning of trying to load the vehicle with all their stuff. SO MUCH STUFF. They learned a valuable lesson or two for next school year.
As soon as they opened the doors it started falling out.
Ethan showed me his seat, he had no room for his legs or any movements on the 3 hour drive back home.
For whatever reason even the hens ran over to investigate.
Seth, Sarah, and David helped them unload. I had made hamburgers and pasta for dinner, and peanut butter cookies, but had to leave after just a few minutes to take Caleb to his game.
This is how they brought their clothing home. Stuffed in a hundred thousand plastic bags found in a trash can at school.
JUST as I took the photo, Jacob threw his football to Ethan. We couldn’t have timed it better if we tried…..
Rich and I sat in our lawn chairs at the top of the hill and watched Caleb play in his game (they lost 9-7) and the rest of the kids (but Grace, who comes home this weekend). Jacob talked to us nonstop about his recent college stories. As I studied their faces I was filled with pride and joy. “What do you think of these fine sons of yours, Rich?” And we looked at each other and smiled. If you have children, you know the feeling. These moments make all the stressful moments worth it, tens times over.
Caleb was hoping that his big brothers would come to his game. And they did.
They were playing catch with the football right in front of me.
Sarah came to get me so she could take me to a tiny nest that she found. Could the night get any better?
David said “I finally feel like I’m not all alone anymore.”
flashback:
This photo recently caught my attention again…..it’s from almost 8 years ago…..I made Sarah’s dress. And look at those arms and legs and that face.
Just a few more quotes before we go:
“Our attitude is to be ever toward joy.”
“Shall we not seek for the bright side? There is really sunshine enough in the darkest day—to make any ordinary mortal happy—if he only has eyes to see it!”
“There is no lot in life so dreary—*J.R. Miller
you are loved.
“The kitchen door opened. Marilla looked up expecting to see Mrs. Lynde. Anne stood before her, tall and starry-eyed, with her hands full of Mayflowers and violets.
“Anne Shirley!” exclaimed Marilla. For once in her life she was surprised out of her reserve, she caught her girl in her arms and crushed her and her flowers against her heart, kissing the bright hair and sweet face warmly. ‘I never looked for you till tomorrow night. How did you get from Carmody?’
“‘Walked, dearest of Marillas. Haven’t I done it a score of times in the Queen’s days? The mailman is to bring my trunk tomorrow; I just got homesick all at once, and came a day earlier. And oh! I’ve had such a lovely walk in the May twilight; I stopped by the barrens and picked these Mayflowers; I came through Violet-Vaile; it’s just a bowlful of violets now–the dear, sky-tinted things . Smell them, Marilla–drink them in.”
Marilla sniffed obligingly, but she was more interested in Anne than in drinking violets.
“Sit down child. You must be real tired. I’m going to get you some supper.”
“There’s a darling moonrise behind the hills tonight, Marilla, and oh, how the frogs sang me home from Carmody! I do love the music of the frogs. It seems bound up with all my happiest recollections of old spring evenings. And it always reminds me of the night I came here first. Do you remember it, Marilla?”
“Well, yes” said Marilla with emphasis. “I’m not likely to forget it ever.”
“They used to sing so madly in the marsh and brook that year I would listen to them at my window in the dusk, and wonder how they could seem so glad and sad at the same time. Oh, but it’s good to be home again! Redmond was splendid and Bolingbroke delightful–but Green Gables is HOME.”
~Spring and Anne Return to Green Gables, Anne of the Island
Grace drove us to Logee’s greenhouse last week. It was a 52 minute drive and when we were almost there she finally asked, “WHERE is this place?” I hadn’t told her how long she would be driving just to see if she would ever mention it. We had a nice laugh and five minutes later hopped out of the parked car in anticipation. I asked the woman at the counter if I could take photos and she said, “Of course!”
As I looked through the many photos this morning, after a weekend of taking Grace back to college, the old Anne quote came to my mind. Like Anne, Grace is our own dear college girl now, and it was a deep down joy to have her home for spring break. However, we did not experience the music of the frogs, only the falling of more and more snowflakes, and a charming “Froggy” begonia which you will see in the midst of the following pictures.
Drink them in:
mature citrus trees in the green house
triggering the fly traps. . . .
I love the look of rusty iron, cool green pot, and green plants everywhere….
another carnivorous plant
mossy terra cotta
narrowest of stone paths
curls
Here it is! I took a baby “Froggy” begonia home with us. I’ll share a piece with you eventually, mom, and anyone else who would like one.
up above our heads
….and down beneath the grates. . .plants plants everywhere.
the gardenias smelled divine
joyfully admiring an unexpected plant growing from a coconut shell
leaves that look like flowers or flowers that look like leaves?
they also smelled divine; grapefruits growing
blossom with fruit
“Mom, this looks like the tree on Horton Hears a Who!” link here
We took home a Kumquat plant.
one of those photos I could look at all day…….
charming
cascade of blooms
truly stuffed with plants and a maze of narrow walkways
Grace said, “I didn’t know how much I needed this.”
and “I want to bring all the people I know here.”
“I see you”
Grace came up close to me and brushed pollen off my nose.
oh this mossy pot
bringing to mind the lanterns on Tangled
we smiled at each other over a cute couple, also wandering around, admiring the plants. what a fabulous date idea!
holding my begonia, with my camera
Time flies in a green house, we didn’t want to leave, but Grace had other plans for the afternoon so we reluctantly said good-bye ….
…bringing home 8 new house plant babies to nurture and fuss over.
Good to be Home 
