heart & mind

Posted on May 23, 2019 by Shanda

Rich is away today for a meeting by the shore of Connecticut. Jacob and Ethan are at work, Grace is home with me and cheerful, David, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah will be home from school soon.

I did a lot of crying yesterday but look! I’m still here. I’ve felt like crying a few times today (even now) but so far…..have been able to restrain myself. I feel quiet and calm and deep down sad. This is an improvement over yesterday’s “my heart hurts so bad make it stop sobbing”.

There is a chicken bubbling in broth on the stove with celery, onion, and seasonings. When it’s done I will let it cool, take the meat off, and add it back to the broth with noodles for dinner. Or maybe I’ll make biscuits. This is an improvement over yesterday’s dinner of “nothing”.

Seth has a band concert tonight. Have I told you he plays the trumpet? He’s 10? A new player? Not very good? And it’s loud?

I went for one walk today so far and did some reading. Mainly I’ve been parked here in my favorite spot on the couch most of the day with my camera nearby to snap photos of birds visiting the porch feeders.

baltimore oriole, hopping off the railing to the grape jelly below

They were fussing at each other (oriole and female rose-breasted grosbeak)

“and what is wrong with YOU”, I asked the cardinal

I saw six lady-slippers by the trail.

ground-ivy by the side of the road (“It is used as a salad green in many countries.”)

I think this is called “Celandine” and I read that it is poisonous to chickens. It’s growing and blooming on the side of the road.

In all their affliction He was afflicted. And the Angel of His Presence saved them; In His love and in His pity He redeemed them; And He bore them and carried them all the days of of old. Isaiah 63:9

My mom wrote this verse in my journal for me when we visited last.

tiny soft pinecone

“He started carefully down the trail, knowing that at any moment something unexpected might happen……knowing that nothing was exactly what it seemed to be.” Anpao (newbery book) page 183

back at home with Grace, Bible, journal, markers

Then, my friend Bridgette sent me a link to an article about Charles Spurgeon and I read it with interest and copied down some quotes.

After this I continued reading Beartown and rested for a while.

Caleb just got home from school, Grace is reading and I’m going to go for my second walk and try to get the rest of my steps done (10,000 per day).

Thank you for stopping by, friends, you are loved.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

walking and cooking

Posted on July 31, 2018 by Shanda

Seth plays video games every day for a couple hours but his time doing it is controlled by his loving mother to a certain extent. This morning, he asked if he could have “his time” at 9am and I said, “sure”. But at 8 he had eaten breakfast, showered and dressed, and he didn’t know what else to do with himself so we went for a walk together. Grace was awake but Sarah was still sound asleep. (Seth is an early riser)

It always happens that the boys will pick up a stick and start battle on trees and such. From Jacob to Seth, they were all the same in that regard (and still are).

pretty pretty Indian Pipe flower. The website (linked) adds: America’s eminent poet, Emily Dickinson, called the Indian pipe “the preferred flower of life.” In a letter to Mabel Todd, she confides, “I still cherish the clutch with which I bore it from the ground when a wondering child, and unearthly booty, and maturity only enhances the mystery, never decreases it.

I told him how to pose on this fallen down birch tree and he was obliging enough to humor me, still with his weapon-of-a-stick in his hand. He looks pleased.

He even likes hitting the caps off wild mushrooms with his stick, he calls it mushroom golfing.

This is that same fallen down birch tree, I wanted to see the wood where the tree broke and fell. What a wonderful home for God’s smaller creatures.

little things of interest on the forest floor…..

He walked barefoot.

There are even orange mushrooms.

Big healthy ferns are squeezing in on the path, reminding me of childhood games and forts in the woods.

Teeny tiny white mushrooms

some mushrooms had red caps

This one looked shy.

mushrooms on a log

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This large mushroom was broken off and on the ground……Seth’s barefoot show how big it was.

Seth spied these gorgeous Cardinal wildflowers before I did. They bloom at this time of year on mossy rocks in the stream and I always delight in them.

Almost home!

He was a good sport and I found myself thinking, “I do so enjoy walks with a child or two or five or seven, and my camera!”

Dinner Tonight:

Crock-Pot Gingered Beef
2 pounds round roast, trimmed
2 onions, sliced
1 cup dry red wine
1/2 cup ketchup
6 T. brown sugar
3 T. vinegar
1/2 tsp. powdered ginger
4 cloves of garlic, pressed
1/2 cup beef broth
salt and pepper to taste

Brown beef on all sides (I skipped this part). Place sliced onion on the bottom of crock pot, place roast on top. Mix remaining ingredients in bowl and whisk together. Pour over roast. Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours or until meat is tender and can be shredded with a fork. Pour cooking juices into a saucepan and simmer on the stove until reduced, about 10 minutes. Serve over the top of the beef.

I haven’t made it in a while but in the notes I wrote “Yum, E approves.” So I’m hoping he still approves tonight when he gets home from work and eats it for dinner.

Grace and I have been enjoying this today:

Black Bean and Rice Salad
3 tomatoes, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 cup cilantro, chopped
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/8 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 can whole kernel corn (drained)
1 can black beans (drained)
1 onion, chopped, and 4 cloves of garlic, pressed, sautéed until translucent
3 cups rice
salt and pepper

Mix together in a big bowl and serve each portion with a spoon of salsa on top.

Both recipes from my ever-favorite cookbook Saving Dinner, by Leanne Ely

I’ve done lots of laundry (don’t you love hanging clothes outside on the line?) and still have some to fold, which I will do while the Waltons are on TV. Seth and Sarah are outside playing. I fell asleep reading a book on the couch with Seth next to me earlier and now Grace is in my spot, reading her book: Messenger, by Lois Lowry. She says it’s nice to read a book that doesn’t task the brain like some of the old classics she’s been reading. I am reading Dead End in Norvelt, which is a Newbury award winner. I’m almost done with it and it’s been delightful. I love it. Maybe you would, too.

PS, ANOTHER WALK WITH SETH that’s kinda making me cry right now.

wild violets & a trip to brimfield antiques show 2018

Posted on May 9, 2018 by Shanda

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We haven’t had our lawn mowed yet so there are wild violets growing everywhere. They are abundant and I found myself wandering around picking a tiny bouquet of them. The white ones are the most fragrant; beautiful, creamy white with deep purple lines from the middle pedal and just a hint of yellow there, too.

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We are blessed in violets. Another kind that I noticed was white with a deep blue center, with blue veins coming out from the blue.

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Also noticed was a thin grapevine twisted around and up a tree, just the right spot for another photo opportunity for my violets.

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My very favorite one is light lilac in color, with thin delicate pedals and a flat face…in the photo it is the one closest to my hand, picked last. I only know of one small patch of these. The most common purple ones are growing everywhere.

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Tied with a ribbon, they dress up the kitchen windowsill very nicely.

****

Yesterday was opening day of the Brimfield Antique Show so when the children left for school, I drove to the show. I arrived early enough to get parking easily. Later on when I left it was crowded and some of the parking lots were full. It cost 10 dollars to park at the church, and I always park there each time I go. When I got out of my vehicle I heard one of the attendants call over to another older parking attendant to ask “Which one of these trees did you plant?” He laughed and looked back and forth to a couple trees; “That one.” It was stately tall and mature and I marveled that it had grown so much in the man’s lifetime. Already I was collecting beauty and inspiration from people…….I wanted to go home and plant a tree.

I thought of Jo and Dawn when I saw these darling little tap shoes.

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Within 10 minutes I had made a fiesta purchase; a tea cup and saucer in the hard-to-find-and-afford lilac color. (to match the violets) at a great price!

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And I thought of friend Hannah, and my dear mother, whenever I saw sewing things and fabrics.

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Vintage fiesta ware

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I bought a vintage yellow dessert plate with stripes. Someone mentioned on the fiestaware FB page that they thought it was part of a Sears cake set sold years ago.

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I found a shiny and perfect medium green plate (most rare of all the colors) and was able to purchase it for 30 dollars.

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I normally go to Brimfield with someone else (or two or three) and I wondered how I would enjoy going alone, but I simply loved it. I would rather go with one or two of the children, or my sisters, or aunts, or friends of course but going by myself this time ended up being a much needed treat. I loved thinking only of myself and quietly going around watching people and looking at all the things people were displaying and selling. I took my lunch and ate it as I walked; a pb and honey sandwich, a cliff bar, an apple. All in all, I spent almost 4 hours and walked about 4 miles before I left.

It felt wrong in a way to leave Brimfield and go straight to an antique store (because Brimfield is nothing but antiques as far as the eye can see) but I had remembered a few things that I had wanted to buy a few months ago, so I headed to one more shop before going home for the day. The things I was looking for were gone, but I still enjoyed browsing. Antiquing is like a little history lesson of ordinary life.

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Jus took at that big red fiesta platter (not purchased, but admired) The colors are so energizing and cheerful.

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~A chartreuse display (fiesta disc pitcher)~

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Well, then I drove back home and determined to stay in my kitchen until it was spotless so I turned on some music and mindfully washed up the dishes, cleared off the counters and scrubbed them, and swept the floor. It’s more fun when you can concentrate on what you’re doing rather than rush through to get to the “next thing”. Pictured above are the fiestaware pieces that I bought yesterday. But I have already thought about NOT buying anymore of it for a while. I am content with my collection. I have a piece of every color and then some. I have vases and teapots, pitchers, canisters, vintage, and new. Salt and pepper shakers, spoon rests, trivets, pie plates. Plates galore. Common pieces and rare. Some to display and others to use everyday. It’s a satisfying collection.

Photos of other finds brought home:

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A Tasha Tudor craft-type book, paperback, which I had never seen before. I can’t wait to look at it slowly and try some of the projects.

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A lady in Brimfield had a “just my style” booth that she told me she started doing when she retired. She does all three Brimfield shows a year and also does her own show. She had pieces of furniture, and housewares, vintage laces, baby things, new and old. At the counter she had a display of scrapbooking packets that she put together and I couldn’t resist buying one.

More old papers for scrapbooking and journals.

L O V E

L O V E **Eloise Wilkin**

This was such fun. “My School-Day Autobiography” owned by Doris Jeanette Reid. Perhaps you know her. I would love to send it back to her, or her descendants. How do things end up being sold and bought by strangers?

In the meantime, here are some of the pages:

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“Stay as sweet as you are and you won’t have a hard time getting a husband.”

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“Best wishes to a bad girl.”

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“Your one of my best friends I mean it”

BEAUTIFUL script and blessing

Taped on the last page.

*****

efforts on the last day of summer

Posted on August 14, 2017 by Shanda

“….a little boy grows up so fast….”

I was secretly calling Saturday the last day of summer because it was our oldest son’s last day at home before leaving for college the next morning. So I made the effort to take some photos of the ordinary family living that I hold so dear to my heart, knowing deep down that while life will go on just as beautiful and ordinary as ever, parts of it were ending and beginning anew in other parts of the world…….not too far, thankfully. Jacob and Ethan will be at college together in Vermont this year (3 hours away), and our sweet Grace will be in Pennslyvania (about five hours distance). As the children grow up, things within the home change, but the bond we have stays true, and the love we share will never die, and indeed, my deepest desire and hope is that it will continue to grow up and out as our family grows up and and out.

So these efforts were made by me in the realm of photography, and the only other effort I made personally was to be “hands off” on the day and let it be as normal as possible, because I have finally learned that while deep in my soul I am in a type of motherly mourning for the fleetness of the years, no one else in the family necessarily needs to know. 🙂

So what did we do? Jacob headed for work, sicker than a dog, and Rich left for the chiropractor’s with Ethan (they are both getting work done on their backs) and Caleb (who needed a hair cut after the doctor’s appointment).

Confession: somehow, even though I was truly trying, I just realized this morning that I took not one single photo of Grace, so I am inserting this one from last weekend, when I caught the sisters sharing a moment over pancakes. In reality, Grace was so busy on Saturday….she had driver’s practice in the morning, and then worked all afternoon until 7pm….that I somehow didn’t take any pictures of her.

The brightest red wildflower is in bloom down by the banks of our stream. It’s like a jungle down there so I can’t get as close as I’d like……

I watched busy buzzing bees collect pollen all over the wild and tall Joe Pye Weed and then, saw the most beautiful dragonfly I’d ever seen…..

RED! DARK RED!

with shimmering wings! I admired it until it flitted away.

Next to the garage we have a tiny wild pond where bullfrogs hang out all day. I enjoy sneaking around to spy on them and they always freeze like this and stare at me. I want to sit down there sometime and see what they REALLY do……

And then, the guys finally got home and went to work on Rich’s car. Yep, that was the real theme of the weekend; “Put The Motor In”.

Rich has been itching to do it all winter long and had big boxes in the house which were all delivered and saved carefully for The Day.

Nice haircut, Caleb.

Now get to work!

Nothing makes Rich more annoyed than not being able to find his tools because the children have been running off with them and not returning them to the proper place. Nothing that is, except maybe water running through the ceiling because Seth didn’t have the shower curtain in the bathtub and was getting water everywhere on the floor upstairs…..ask me how I know this…..so the first thing they did was find Dad’s tools, while Rich and Ethan organized and Sarah cleaned.

The car is under the tarp. Waiting for it’s motor.

I’m pretty sure this is it. 🙂

Sarah was very conscientious about sweeping the floor.

Seth wasn’t as conscientious about finding Dad’s tools.

David

Oh and Jacob was able to get out of work a little early and he went straight to bed, spending his last day at home SICK and asleep.

(I think it’s amusing that the dog is in a lot of these photos being ignored. But he gets his revenge later.)

Bringing the boxes out of the house (finally!) and into the garage.

Finally they were ready and the younger boys snuck away. David was called for duty now and then, but Ethan was the main helper of the entire day all the way up until it was too late to visit Tessa and he was secretly annoyed.

I mean, as his mother, I could sort of tell. But Rich, as his father, certainly didn’t care. He needed his son and Ethan has vacation days coming up this week to visit his girlfriend. (It reminded me of when Rich and I were dating all those summers ago and he had to bale hay all weekend for his dad while I was left to my own amusement at home…..so I took pity while Rich just felt like it was the only natural thing to do; helping Dad…there’s no way out of it, not even girlfriends.)

The younger boys hung out on the patio between the house and the garage.

And I found Sarah had vanished to her room to play the DS. So I sent her right back outside to enjoy the beautiful day.

They made a cake.

Eventually, hours and hours later, I picked the camera back up to take a picture of CHICKEN that I grilled myself……

And this is where the dog got his revenge for being “ignored//neglected” all day.

After we all ate, he stole the leftovers off the kitchen counter, eating the chicken and neatly leaving the sticks on the carpet in the living room. We all got mad because that was really good chicken and I had made a ton so we could enjoy the leftovers, not feed them to the dog.

We ended our day by watching TV on the couch in the dark, all tired out.

*****

This is where things get sad you might want to turn away.

I woke up at 5:30 on Sunday morning to see my son off. Rich was already awake and in the garage with his car but the rest of the family was asleep as Jacob finished packing his car to leave, although I did hear Seth stir and call out, “Bye, Jay!” from his bed, as he will greatly miss his big brother, too.

I followed him around, back and forth to the car and house, not unlike the dog, silently and with wishful eyes.

We hugged twice. We held it together.

It was a beautiful morning, with bits of pink in the sky.

I looked at his dear possessions everywhere in his car, that say “Jacob” to me in so many ways……his collection of hats from working at “LIDS” all summer….his new sneakers that I bought for him during a quick shopping trip we had together last week.

His music, his new fridge, all his clothes and books (he took a big box of books, which made me smile and touched my heart…I remember when he read them all…and sister Grace struggled with sharing some of them..namely the JRR Tolkien books…), my dear 20 year old son, how thankful I am that I had all of these years with you before you moved on to new adventures taking classes and playing football at college. I am blessed to call you son and friend. We’ve had such good times together, haven’t we? Your downstairs room in the basement is too quiet and still already but we’ll keep it ready for those visits back home!

“So the life of the true home flows on, sometimes in the bright sunshine, sometimes in the deep shadow; yet whether in the sunshine or in shadow it brings blessing. It shelters us in the day of storm. Its friendships remain true and loyal when adversity fails and other friendships are broken. It lays holy hands of benediction upon our heads as we go out to meet life’s struggles and duties. Its sacred influences keep us from many a mistake. Its memories are our richest inheritance. Its inspirations are the secret strength of our lives in days of toil and care. Then it teaches us to look toward heaven and the great Home in which all our hearts, hopes, and dreams shall be realized, and where the broken ties of earth shall be reunited.” JR Miller

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madame butterfly

Posted on July 18, 2017 by Shanda

Oh what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.

“I trust You. Give me wisdom. Give me love to spill over. My life is Yours.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

A simply DRENCHED bumble bee, waiting out the rain on a bee balm blossom.

I don’t know…..but again, drenched.

close up of a zinnia.. .. .gorgeous color pink.

My nature studies have gone from birds to bees and other insects. It’s such a pleasure to walk around the outskirts of our lawn, where the mowed grass meets the wilder grasses and flowers and look for insects. There are always interesting things to see.

I still like to watch for birds, too. In fact, I keep seeing a yellow warbler (wearing a black mask) peeping at me from the bushes, it must be distracting me from seeing a nest because it’s a typically shy bird. I’ll try to photograph it today.

breathtaking greens and yellow

I showed Sarah the photos and when she realized what she was seeing, she said “Delete it!”

This is my favorite photo of the bunch. The wings! Did you ever guess there would be wings like this on a tiny bug? (it’s on a yarrow flower, a common wildflower in our area)

It’s not a very clear photo because just as I was taking it I felt a cold thing go across my bare big toe………

It was a big juicy worm.

This gorgeous bug, if it senses an enemy near. . . . .

….drops down and plays dead. It literally plays dead! It had me fooled for a moment.

Yesterday I was on the porch and saw a Monarch fly by. I walked around to follow it and discovered it busily laying eggs on the milkweed that I let grow in the garden. See how it presses it’s tail to the leaf?

It leaves an egg behind, a teeny white egg. When it hatches, the caterpillar will be all set because it simply LOVES milkweed leaves.

By gently turning the leaves over on the plants I have found at least 5 eggs. We plan on collecting them after they hatch and watching them grow. It’s one of our favorite summertime nature studies.

****

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

no words wednesday

Posted on July 12, 2017 by Shanda

dishes n’ daisies

Posted on June 13, 2017 by Shanda

I’m posting these photos today because my Aunt Colleen came home from an amazing cross country roadtrip with a bag all the way from West Virginia for me! Guess what was inside of it? A fiesta daisy plate! She gave it to me when I was at her house this weekend and the first thing I did when I got home was tuck it in my collection; just right.

Thank you, my friend!

Wild daisies are just coming in bloom here in Connecticut and it’s hard to say which is my favorite; a handful of daisies or a fiestaware daisy plate.

It was fun to take a few minutes to play with these colorful dishes in the midst of a busy morning.

“I will go pick daisies
and have a happy heart.”

(yesterday)

Posted on May 24, 2017 by Shanda

birds and blooms

Posted on May 3, 2017 by Shanda

American Goldfinch; in the trees at the dam by the stream

Eastern Phoebe; wire fence by stream

Black and White Warbler; high in treetops

Ovenbird; in the woods (next pic shows the stripes on the top):

Tufted Titmouse; tree by my house

Blue-gray Gnatcatcher; bushes by the driveway (first sighting) It’s a small and very pretty bird.

Sparrow; very common, however I loved him because he threw and stiffened his whole body into his singing.

It takes a powerful amount of energy to be a song bird.

This bird was in the woods this morning, I identified it as a Veery using the Merlin ID app on my phone.

Chipmunk frozen in fear in the woods because he saw me.

Warbling Vireo; bushes on the edge of the field

(not positive about the identification)

Catbird; I love the way they sing

This unidentified hawk (?) made several passes over us all (myself and the little birds) which put a damper on things because he (I’m sure) likes eating little birds. But maybe he was looking for mice?

Common Yellowthroat; isn’t it’s black mask and yellow bib pretty?

I think this is a Female Eastern Towhee but it was difficult to get a photo. It was on the ground the whole time, scratching into the leaves finding food. As soon as I found it in the camera frame it would hop out of it again. The bird book shows a female looking like this with a white breast (which this one may have but I couldn’t see it). A male Towhee was singing up in the branches which also led me to believe it was it’s mate.

Male Eastern Towhee

Mallard Duck; I sat on a boulder with him in the distance but close enough that I could still hear him quacking now and then. Very companionable.

Cardinal; isn’t it pretty with all the gray background and spots of red buds?

Apple blossoms

and Marsh Marigolds

The gypsy moth egg casings are hatching out which means that there are tiny caterpillars EVERYWHERE, it’s rather like a plague. It’s a nature phenomena that I have never seen before in the 10 years we’ve lived here. WAY too many. So I’m hoping that all the birds (and chipmunk) photographed in this blog post like to eat them.

I brought home a branch of apple blossoms and put them in a blue vase by the sink. I picked some white and purple violets, too.

duck & bike & flowers

Posted on April 13, 2017 by Shanda

I love mornings. I rarely blog at night, if I did I’m sure all that would come out would be zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

It’s Thursday. 43 degrees. Sarah is outside riding her new bike and Seth is upstairs taking a bath. Caleb just woke up; everyone else is still sleeping. It’s 7:40.

Are the duck photos neat? I took them first thing yesterday morning. I stood stealthily behind a pine tree by the pond and watched this duck. It wasn’t so much concerned about anything but looking around and quacking. I guess he was looking for his female?

As I mentioned in the previous post, this is Spring Break Week for the children. Yesterday was “Buy Sarah a New Bike Day”. I left the house at 8 with her and Seth and we went to Target. On the way we stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts. Sarah wanted “a donut that was filled and it would be jelly inside.” She is quite wordy.

On the way there they explained to me that they were Odie and Garfield. Sarah was Odie and Seth was Garfield. I played along and they decided I was John.

“I’m going to be John the man?” I asked.

“OH, I know! You can be Liz! Liz is in love with John and John’s Dad!”

That didn’t sound right.

“Liz is in love with John AND his dad?” I asked.

“No, John IS Dad. And you love Dad.”

Oh. Okay. I get it now.

So we played pretend for a while until I got tired of getting yelled at for accidentally calling them Seth and Sarah.

They had their donuts and we proceeded to Target and found a nice bike for Sarah and a few shirts & ties for the boys for Easter.

What beautiful tulips!

On the way home there was a garden center, a nice small independently owned one, so I stopped to buy some pansies.

Here they are sitting on the floor of the passenger side…..aren’t they beautiful? They have little ruffled edges.

Guess what? I don’t have a photo of this but when we pulled in the driveway, the duck was in the other pond with his female! 🙂

Nice big brother Jacob did some work on Seth’s bike but ran out of time. He had to go to college and work. But Seth was okay; he still had the scooter to ride.

And Sarah was so cute riding around on her new wheels.

This bike is a bit taller and it took her a little practice and a few falls to comfortably get on and off of it. She could ride her new bike for hours at a time and unlike the boys, she’s content to ride the same path over and over again. She talks and sings to herself as she pedals.

Sarah even shared her bike with Seth until he ended up crashing it and said he wasn’t going to ride it anymore. “First it went in the garden and then it crashed!” he said, without taking any of the blame. It was all the bike’s fault.

I used to watch Jacob, Ethan, and Grace play EXACTLY the same way. It’s like deja vu.

One sad note: Before I could do anything to stop her, Sarah butchered the pretty streamers off her handle bars because “they were distracting her.”

My pansies at home. I also had 3 six packs that I planted in pots. Two of them are on the front steps and one is by the side steps in the garden. They are cold weather pansies so even if the temperature drops they should be okay.

The potted geranium on my windowsill bloomed!

RANDOM PHOTOS:

My friend Lea Ann texted me this picture of her Texas wildflower bouquet!

I saved it as my phone screensaver.

Seth in the dentist chair. I was reading my book but also watching and listening. Very entertaining. No cavities!

“Mike, will you show me your airsoft gun?”

“No.”

“I’ll give you a neck massage.”

“Okay.”

water and wine at the spa

*********

Quote for today: “Faith sees even the darkest deed of all history, the death of God’s Son, as a necessary prelude to the brightest.” Philip Yancey