all these changes

Posted on April 4, 2023 by Shanda

A beautiful day. Just came back from a wander in the woods. And a first; I found myself reaching down to handle the moist cool earth, and underneath a log I found an empty snail shell. No sign of it’s inhabitant, so I brought it home in my pocket. There is dirt imbedded in my hands, and to my ears the birds sound beautifully quite full of new song. My steps crackled and crunched over leaves and twigs in the woods. When I came to a fallen tree I walked the length of it to try my balance. I heard spring peepers and saw a pair of mallard ducks, swimming gently down the stream (merrily merrily). I found an old nest! It was easy to get to. I carefully broke it away with its supporting branches and carried it home.

It’s a time of quiet and pensiveness for me—mother-me. The mother who is watching the birds and flowers bloom, gathering old nests and listening to songs, is the mother who is also preparing to very soon watch her son marry his darling, and another son chose a college and finish his senior year.

When the heart is full, it must overflow. Tears come as I think about the passing years. Wondering how I could have let them go without doing more, being more, loving more. I wanted to. And yet a mother is also a woman of her own, and during all those years I was also growing. Becoming more, (rather than DOING MORE) in other areas of life outside of motherhood. I can’t be disappointed about giving the children less than all of me, because then I wouldn’t be myself. They are secure in my love, and the love of their father and siblings. Together we grow in love and grace each day. and yet, I wish almost greedily, for more ordinary days of simply me, and them, together.

Caleb has not made the decision for school lightly, he gave it a great deal of thought and preparation. And now he is all set to attend Liberty University in the fall, a college about nine hours from home. Caleb, one of the “younger ones”. My sweet boy. I would rather not. And yet, the way it all worked out was “a shower of blessing” from above. Each thing that fell into place, each unexpected gift (such as a local life-long classmate of his as a roommate) (such as my best friends daughter also going) (such as him running into a camp friend), gave us such full hearts we couldn’t help but praise God and thank Him.

So it was, while Rich was with Caleb in Virginia, and I was at home with the others, that my mom texted with me with her own wise mother-words:

You will be a better Shanda as all these changes happen. I think I’m a better person now, more like Cindy should be. Not someone else’s person.

The truth of it all went straight to my heart and I knew she was right. And, like I’ve thought so many times before, if life is like a roller coaster I want to be the woman who throws up her hands and enjoys the thrill of the ride, (with some screaming now and then) rather than the one holding back in resistance.

Moss is the most vibrant green of New England in early April.

Found underneath a half-decomposed log in the middle of nowhere. I’m beginning to think that there IS no nowhere.

brief updates & life is good

Posted on September 8, 2022 by Shanda

“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are
something to do
something to love
and something to hope for.” Joseph Addison

Good morning my lovlies~ I have done the past couple of blog posts from my phone but today I am in front of the laptop so have freedom to tippety- tap away as fast as the words can flow from my fingertips…….what delight, to sit and express here, a few little happenings of my heart and life. It’s only 7:15 in the morning and what promise there is for a full and bright day! The weather has changed and Summer is now gently introducing Fall. Autumn, my favorite season when I feel most alive in not only energy, possibility, and inspiration, but nostalgia, contemplativeness, and a sort of “taking stock” of my innermost life, and it is good.

That word…..good, it’s such a Father-God word, isn’t it? I just love it so much that when He did the work of creating this world, he took the time to see and pronounce it GOOD. And I find myself trying more and more to do the same as I go about my household duties, those beautiful acts of daily life. Yesterday was vacuuming (and more), today is baking (and more), and I hope that when I complete the tasks I can remember to also take the time to look at what my hands have done, and take a moment or two of satisfaction from the work.

So, let’s see……updates……

Jacob and Brittnee are happy in an apartment not far away. We typically see them here at home with us on Sundays. They have taken on the role of “firstborn” together, and are such a comfort to me and their Dad, just knowing they are there. Both of them fun loving and responsible.

Ethan is engaged to Sierra now and they are busy preparing for their life together. He is still at home for about a month, after which he will be moving into an apartment. He’s working hard and counting down the days until the wedding (April, 2023) and we are so happy for them both. It’s fun to have “young love” in the house…..a couple just about to be married with nothing else really on their minds…..as it should be. They eat, drink, and survive on “wedding//newlywed preparations”.

Grace and Brogan are happy in an apartment way too far away. Like five hours. (wink*wink, I know five hours is not as far as they COULD be, but also they aren’t next door like they COULD be, so……..) we stay connected a lot through texting and phone calls, and try to see each other as much as we can. They recently invited an unwed and homeless mother CAT into their home to have her kittens and now have a total of six cats of various ages to enjoy. (if you want a kitten and will be in Scranton PA, let me know……..)

David got through a year of college and is now taking a year and working while living here at home. He just started work at Fed Ex and he will be amazing. His outlook and thoughts on life are so relatable to me and we share a deep bond. He is recovering from a serious stomach bug AND starting his new job at the same time……and not complaining, either. (no energy for it).

Caleb is now a Senior in High School, Caleb the one who was “Baby” when I first began blogging here. Caleb my little sweet tenderhearted gentle boy. Still the same in essence, and so much more as he matures and grows. He’s busy with football these days.

Seth is in his last year of middle school. Stlll as joyful in heart and energetic in body as ever. He has my heart in his hands, this boy-man of mine. We have such fun. He brings a playful spirit into our home on a constant basis. He also plays football and is QB and a kicker, playing offense and defense and guess what? I can’t sit still for nervousness while we watch his games, and I pray constantly. But don’t tell him that. 🙂

Sarah Joy -oh my goodness- is 12 and we are so proud of our youngest one, she’s in 7th grade this year. She’s my little friend, and always has a word of encouragement, and common sense dictates that she also can hold her own in this house where everyone is older than her. Also, she loves putting on a little make up and doing her nails. She’s getting so big!

I absolutely love KNOWING my children. Seeing them for who they are, knowing that their lives are all their own and that I have the amazing honor of sharing each day with them as long as I live. I take the things they say and do and keep them to remember and think about.

Rich and I celebrate 27 years of marriage soon….Septemeber 16….which is yet another reason why this time of year is special to me, and to him, as well. He is still working hard, but not as hard as when we were first married. With time comes a security and a blessing in understanding that the world can keep going at it’s fast pace even as we take some time to slow down and focus on what truly matters; our health, our ability and opportunity to “stop and smell the roses” and our relationships. It’s so satisfying to enjoy the unique passions and interests that God put in us, and important to make sure we aren’t too busy to do the things that make our “hearts sing”.

I will write more about myself soon, but the most exciting for me recently was opening my own ebay shop and starting to sell things that I collect around in my thrifting and goodwilling and antiquing adventures. I’ve made a few sales and find myself taking a moment to bless the recipient of the treasure I have chosen to offer in my “shop”, I just can’t help myself, my mother- heart wants to know that everyone is okay and if not, help in some small way even with just a little prayer over a box to a random stranger is enough. I enjoy everything about it, and it’s such fun to have a little bit of pocket money that I’ve earned all on my own (I’ve been a stay at home mom since day one of marriage), and thus life goes on…day by day…mile by mile…age to age.

Life is a struggle!!! and for me, the struggle is keeping myself aware and understanding that there is always beauty HERE and NOW, even when I am sad or grieving or tired or overwhelmed and ready to give up. God always brings me back around to the truth that I can trust Him, He leads us gently, He loves us without reservation, and He is generous beyond measure.

So let’s allow this ordinary day surround us like a warm hug.

“Surely the Lord is my help; God is the One who sustains me.” Ps. 54:4

PS, David just came home from work (he works nights) and asked me if I wanted to go to Chipoltle, to which I replied after laughing because it’s not even 8 in the morning yet, “NO, but do you want to go to the Woman’s Bible Study this morning with me?” He also said NO.

good morning!

Posted on July 1, 2021 by Shanda

Hello my friends, we have arrived safely in Georgia and I have been trying to catch up on my sleep (so tired) and getting things orderly here in our cottage. We did a huge grocery trip the day after we arrived and it felt so good putting things away and knowing there was good food and drink for the family to enjoy. Interestingly (and it made my heart happy), our dear Caleb made the main grocery list, filled with healthy and nutritious foods like brown rice, wheat bread, and sweet potatoes, things I didn’t think he even liked. I have been at the pool with Sarah, I finished a book (I Know This Much is True) and started another one (East of Eden), I’ve walked in the sand and the ocean, and have already taken a multitude of photos…………

I find myself missing my girls Brittnee and Grace, a lot, especially the conversations we used to have all day every day about everything and nothing, serious and silly. However, it is good that I can focus on the children left at home with me, who need more of my attention and care. Jacob and Brittnee, and Grace and Brogan, are so happy. Both couples send us photos now and then and I lean into them, I especially notice their eyes (all eight) that sparkle with joy and gladness in these early and magical first days of marriage. I feel excitement, and always so blessed and grateful, to watch them begin their own families, while always part of mine.

Ethan and David are at home in Connecticut, “holding down the fort”. And, trying to stay cool. We don’t hear much from them. LOL. I’m sure the brothers are having a great time, as they get along so well and are great friends. And I miss Sierra, too. I’m glad that I still have her (Ethan’s girlfriend) to spend time with when I get back home. Rich and I have already talked about making her fly down here…………yes, I think it’s safe to say we miss our big girls. But all is well. Rich is at the beach volleyball area down the road with the boys while I type this up and get ready to go. He’s taking me on a morning date for coffees, fresh magazines, and togetherness.

Thank you for being here, and adding so much to my blog with your loving appreciation. I want you each to know how special you are, as we walk each other home………

you are loved.

Quote I clipped from Victoria magazine because I loved it so much: “The poet Mary Oliver expressed it this way: ‘To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.’ I’m grateful that both my loves [art and writing] require the deep payment of attention. As do the boundless other loves out there, including cooking, rearranging pictures on the wall, reading, praying, and, of course, the giving of oneself in relationship with another. I’m grateful that life can still surprise us. No matter what our age, or stormy national conflicts, or aches of the heart, we all can enter more fully into the skin of life itself.” ~Jan Karen

misery and woe

Posted on May 20, 2019 by Shanda

ummmmmm…….. so thank you to those who have figured out and made the attempt to continue reading this humble blog of my life and thoughts.

I have been experiencing intense misery and woe but as I sit here I am filled with the desire to express it all with frankness and humor. If you can’t laugh about your misery and woe then it has its evil hooks in you and that’s just not a nice feeling ask me how I know this.

Gosh, life is hard sometimes!!!!! Isn’t it?

But then again, Jesus loves me this I know, and despite the misery and woe I find myself uplifted and laughing even after I stubbornly fold my arms in front of my chest, stick out my lower lip, and think, “I refuse and I’m simply NOT going to enjoy this day today.”

Saturday was one of those days! I simply failed to believe I would even smile. I had cried so much the afternoon and evening and night before that my eyes were practically swollen shut. I was not feeling pretty, or good, or worthwhile, or hopeful, or confident, or anything along those lines.

THE CHILDREN SAVED THE DAY. Why? Because Sethers had a baseball game. Therefore I had to get myself dressed and get my butt out of the house. Because baseball games are OUTSIDE, therefore the sun was shining upon me. (Try to be filled with misery and woe while sitting in sunshine, it’s hard to keep up.) ALSO, ALL MY CHILDREN (except David) went to the game to cheer on their little brother. (This sent not a little joy through the cracks of my heart.) Also, Seth hit a homerun!!!!! To be honest, it would have only been a triple but the ball was overthrown to third and he was able to get to home on that error. You should have seen his proud face when he came over about 10 minutes later. He silently approached with the look, “I’m coming because I just know my mom is going to want to tell me how awesome I am.” And he was right, I did. His Dad and I sat in our chairs, sat in the grass, sat on the bleachers (we get restless at these games) surrounded by our children plus our Brittnee and our Michael and had (dare I say) fun.

Grace kept bonding with tiny caterpillars.
Sarah played with new-found temporary friends (it’s what you do at your brother’s games)
RIch and Michael wrestled in the grass.
Jacob took his latest Steven King book and didn’t read it and then forgot it (but Sarah grabbed it for him)
Ethan, Caleb, and Jacob played catch.
We all got our first sunburns of the season to varying degrees. Brittnee’s knees especially.
The game seemed to drag on forever……but…..
Seth’s team won!

And then we all went out for pizza.

Here I am, in obvious misery and woe (and waiting for my coffee, also starving because I only had a yogurt for breakfast at 5:15am and it was 2 and I hadn’t had lunch.) Surrounded by the people I love.

Here I am wondering why my photo is being taken in such a state. And Ethan being Ethan, how I love him.

And……..Sarah pulled me out of myself by opening her heart and saying, “Mom?” and I said “Yes, Sarah?” “Caleb told me I could play the Playstation but then he and Seth played it so long I didn’t get a chance and blah blah blah blah blah.” Her little troubles, I realized ,were MUCH more important than my big ones!!!!!! As I always do, I listened with a loving and understanding expression on my face. (LOL)

As I leaned across the table at her, I said, “I think what you’re asking me is “Can you play when you get home? “Yes” “Okay, then, you may”. Problem solved.
And then I laughed, what else could I do?

I forgot David wasn’t with us and I asked Michael to take a family photo of us outside the pizza place.

Being himself, he had to take one with himself in it.

….and then I said, “Brittnee, too!” I was so happy to get a whole entire family photo and we walked to the car while I looked at the photos and wondered why there were only six children surrounding us and then I realized, “Oh yeah, Dave is at a track meet!!” and my woe came back. Michael said “Settle down, it’s okay!” And I guess it was, but I miss David in these photos. By the way, he got another PR in hurdles.

I’m going to blog more about this, but here I am in the church downtown after a community concert to celebrate our towns 300th anniversary!!! Can you find me? I look rather pretty. (toward the left).

Rich took us girls out for ice cream afterwards and Sarah looked so picturesque that I asked him to take this photo. She’s wearing her sister’s boots and I think, “Pippi Longstocking” whenever I see her in them. (She wore them to school today)

Thankful for:
a healthy sense of humor even as I struggle
that toad I saw yesterday evening hopping purposefully toward my flower garden
the bookbag I’m carrying around everywhere I go that says “baby got books” on it and it’s indeed got books in it along with fine tip markers, a journal, Bible, and magazines. Gives me life.
my family and the things they do and say
rocking chairs on the porch
matcha tea lattes
my cats
and you, my friends

You are loved. Thank you for being here. Please pray for me as I will also pray for you today. Be encouraged, we have each other!!! and lots of love. We can do this! and the rewards of eternal life are unspeakable. Heaven’s not now……but it’s coming.

“How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in Him should ponder them.” Ps. 111:2

“If the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” John 8:36

“For the despondant, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.” Proverbs 15:15

messy beautiful

Posted on May 14, 2019 by Shanda

so I did, this morning and I also burned my finger terribly. I had three cookies for breakfast.

Sharing my heart..

I was lovingly reminded yesterday that God is not waiting to come down on me like a hammer everytime I get my toe out of line…….and then, this morning I read this verse, “The Lord doesn’t see things they way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

The Lord KNOWS MY HEART. When I don’t even know it, He knows it. He knows I want to please Him, He knows I beat myself up all day long over my percieved failings, He knows that I grieve and cry and long and hope and desire and love and give and give and make myself vulnerable and I fail and fail but I’m loved and I’m beautiful to Him.

In life’s choices, I choose HIM. To think this way is freeing to me.

He cares for me like no other. He knows I am nothing but dust, he knows my messy humanity and He understands. He knows I’m treading water here, trying to keep myself breathing. (Please don’t worry about me, I’ve never tried to keep depression/anxiety/perfectionism and my super-sensitivity to life and these things a secret. I’m okay, and people can be okay even when dealing with strong emotions.)

Anything that makes me small and Him big……is a good thing. Even though it can be painful. In this way, self righteousness is dealt with, and a true understanding of my need (and His provision!) is realized. No, I don’t want self righteousness or sanctimoniousness (from myself…..or others, either.) It creates fear. “Your boasting is not good. You know that a little yeast leavens the whole bath of dough, don’t you?” I corinthians 5:6…

We are to have mercy, and show love and grace. To others…..and to our selves.

“I want your constant love, not your animal sacrifices. I would rather have my people know me than burn offerings to me.” Hos. 6:6

So, Mother’s day weekend. On the inside I was a storm of thoughts and emotions, but on the outside……life continued and there was joy and smiles and love. How funny it all is! A perfect mix of sadness and joy, love and sorrow, good and bad, seriousness and frivolity. So topsy turvy! “It is what it is” Maybe someday I’ll find an even keel. (yes, you can laugh at that).

“In acceptance lieth peace” ~ Hannah Hurnard

I accept it all, kind Father, often with great struggle, but thank you for loving me and being patient and kind. Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning.

thank you for visiting my blog, friends.
you are loved

it doesn’t take much for a heart to glow

Posted on May 8, 2019 by Shanda

Good morning friends! After a raining evening we awoke to a glorious sunshine. Rich took this photo of me at Seth’s little league game the other night. ‘Tis the season. Tonight we have three things going on; David at a track meet (really want to go), Seth at little league (want to go, slightly) and Caleb at a band concert (music trumps sports, IMO). Therefore, the band concert is where I will be.

I was so tired yesterday that I went to bed at EIGHT THIRTY and slept all night. I got up a couple times to get a drink but never fully woke up. Then this morning, when Caleb dared to come right in the room to ask for lunch money, Rich got up to help him and let me sleep for another hour. It feels so good to sleep again after months of restless nights.

As I sit here, I still feel like I could go back to bed and sleep.

However, I have dirty laundry washing, a load in the dryer, a big basket of clean n’ dry to fold, a cake in the oven (dinette), the dishwasher going, and am going out to lunch soon. No time for sleeping.

It’s also the time of year when I’m constantly going for the camera to take bird photos so bear with me. Maybe you like birds, too?

This one was from yesterday evening when it was raining (again). I thought the drops of rain on its feathers was pretty. It sat nice and still so I could get close. I was out on the porch for a while as it rained, it suited my tired mood.

A Heron visited the pond, which is how I got out on the porch in the first place, as Caleb came inside to announce “There is a big bird by the pond, Mom.”

He wasn’t happy about it though because he does not want the fish eaten by a heron. He wants to catch them himself.

In fact, when I see worms outside I think of Caleb. Yesterday I rolled over a log and found a nice big one and put it in my pocket. Thank goodness Rich saw me do it because hours later he had to remind me to get it back out again. (I had changed out of my skirt and into jeans). The worm was still in the pocket, as moist as could be which I am sure was a survival tactic as pockets can be rather dry places for a worm. I said, “Caleb I have something for you,” and you should have seen his face when out came a worm from the pocket. We put it in a small box with dirt in it for when he goes out to fish again.

I kept telling him to smile and he just kept twisting his ears.

Somehow a log ended up in the pond and all day it floats slowly around. Sometimes I see it on one side, at times it’s in the middle, or the other side, but it always has a turtle or two on it. I want so much to add a whole fleet of logs and see if each one will gain a passenger or two. Maybe I’ll even add sails. How charming would that be? Turtle boats.

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Irridescent feathers in the EVENING TIME

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Different lighting (same spot) MORNING TIME….. are you the same bird? I can’t tell.

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Sweet little bird and do you wonder how I got the yellow background? My forsythia bush was in the distance and blurred out as the camera focused on the bird.

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showing off a fine suit of clothing (made entirely of feathers!)

David went outside in the evening to shut in the chickens for the night and caught a spring peeper. I was thrilled.

Spring is made more beautiful because of their sweet singing. Look at those toes.

I haven’t stopped reading the Newbery books. I’m currently on this one and I love it. I’m a forever fan of Nancy Farmer now. What a bright and original mind she has. This is the second Newbery book I’ve read by her.

I made this huge pasta salad yesterday.

But the rabbit got a dandelion salad. (possibly more healthy)

We babysat our neice! She’s so so so cute and looks so much like Isaac (her dad, my baby brother).

After Isaac and Cassandra came back we ate pasta salad and hamburgers and played a game of PIG which I won (as always), humbly noted.

Last but not least.

The beautiful Marsh Marigold (New England wildflower).

******

Thank you for the comments left on my blog posts! I do wonder sometimes if you guys see my replies, as I try to reply to most comments, can someone pretty please let me know if they are seen? Should I bother? Thank you. xo

Happy Wednesday, friends!
You are soooooo loved.

“Make someone happy, you can you know,
It doesn’t take much for a heart to glow.”

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but my heart.”

PS, the cake baked to a nice golden brown and smells so good. I wish I could give you a piece!

weekending

Posted on May 6, 2019 by Shanda

“Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.” Erich Fromm

hellloooooooo

I have something to say to you!

The sun is shining for the first time in (what feels like) years!

How was your weekend?

I’ll tell you all about mine.

First of all, Rich came home super early on Friday to surprise us. And with all the extra time, we decided to take the children bowling. Dave didn’t want to go, so it was just Caleb, Seth, and Sarah. We all bowled our best in the first game. Rich got like 5 strikes and I myself got my new P.R. which was 113. The next game wasn’t as good. In fact, Seth made me laugh when they all watched me accidentally release my bowling ball in such a way that it went up in the air and then halfway down the lane with a boom. I turned around in embarrassment and he said, “Mom, this was you,” he made the same motion that I did throwing my ball in the air, “here you go, Lord!”

It was much fun.

THEN

on Saturday……the boys got haircuts while Sarah and I went to a consignment store.

The clothes that I am wearing were the actual clothes I had worn to the shop. The only thing I bought myself was a cute sweatshirt. Sarah found a bunch of things, including this April Cornell dress. I used to love buying Grace their dresses and was happy to find this one, and not only that but Sarah actually liked it, too.

Then we went to get the boys who were all done and waiting.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I turned right and drove completely over the curb. They all saw me do it with basically these same expressions. They ridiculed me and Seth said, “Woman up, Mom!” in a rebuking way. It made me laugh because I had worn a tshirt two days in a row that week with the words “woman up” on the front. Apparently it made an impression on him and gave him the words to say when I ran over the curb.

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We went home to change and I put on my new gray sweatshirt and then we left for baseball games………. it was FREEZING COLD and I was a big baby the entire time. It didn’t help that Caleb’s team lost terribly.

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We did some walking around and around the field. (keeping an eye on the game)

David had a friend to hang out with, Sarah read a book, and Rich sat next to me in our lawn chairs. We also ate wraps and cheetos and I had a scone (which is why we had to walk).

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Caleb catching.

He’s really good at it. Funny note, a few years ago he became “famous” for making chicken sounds and everyone in baseball (including coaches) STILL calls him Chicken despite the fact that he has deep regrets and doesn’t make the sound anymore.

Back home gathering eggs. I was happy to find five, as they usually get eaten by the hens. These were saved because a hen got broody and sat on them.

As you can see, the grass is turning green.

Sarah fell asleep on me. (heart melts)

Our college children each sent us a selfie. Cannot wait to get them back home for the summer. In fact, Rich and I are going to get Gracie this weekend.

Beautiful Sarah; this is my favorite photo of the weekend. Taken with my new iphone X! Portrait mode! And…..she’s wearing one of her new shirts from shopping with me.

We went on a 4 mile walk in the cold (she ended up wearing her Dad’s sweatshirt) and then went downtown for ice cream.

A favorite place to stop for a bit is an abandoned house.

We picked flowers.

Took selfies and photos. It was so pretty and felt secretive.

I thought of my dad when I took this at someone’s house by the road in the neighborhood. The wood is stacked so very carefully. Art.

When we got back home we found the boys watching tv and Seth sound asleep looking angelic.

This morning I fried the dog an egg. He waited just long enough for me to take a photo for the family group chat before he scarfed it down.

*****

It was fun to sit here and type although hard with these long fingernails.

Happy Monday friends, with lots of love!

(please leave a comment and let me know how you’re doing!)

“I never knew love had a sound until I heard you laugh.”

moss walk

Posted on April 9, 2019 by Shanda

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I was getting stir crazy so tied my boots on and went outside to visit a friendly cat and walk around. I gathered four eggs and picked up some garbage off the lawn (tis the season).

Then, the schoolbus came and let off Seth and Sarah and suddenly I had a willing little friend to walk with me. We thought we would go to the end of the road and back but she said “Can we go in the woods?” and naturally I said, “Of course!”

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We couldn’t help but admire all the moss, I wonder if it was because it was the only green in the forest and it just naturally drew our eyes. We liked how it lifted off the rocks just like a rug. Sarah put it carefully back.

We even reclined on moss.

We saw the first frog eggs of the spring, always worth bending down for a look-see. Sarah would NOT touch them.

But I don’t mind the feel of frog eggs, I quite like it. The water was like ice, though, and my motherly heart just knew they would need a few warm days in order to hatch.

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She was determined to take me to Murkwood, one of Grace’s old haunts that she found and named and showed to her little sister.

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Going on this walk made Sarah’s imagination kick into high gear and soon I was being called BrightHeart instead of mom. Her name was FlameStar which I never could get right. She seemed more like a TwinkleToes to me.

Mostly she said, “Come on, BrightHeart” but one time when I was in front of her she said, “Slow down BrightHeart, you don’t want to get too far ahead of your leader.” And then I knew she really was imagining things.

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I thought I found a hedgehog but then I realized it was just moss again.

(I started imagining things, too)

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I carried this pretty twig the whole walk and guess what? Sarah, I mean FlameStar, changed my name!! To TwigHeart. I wasn’t sure what to think of that. I guess I have a heart of wood.

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This made my heart happy. I saw in the distance a flow of sticky pine pitch down the side of a tree so we went over to take a look and discovered a tick STUCK fast to the pitch. As I look at this photo I can also see a tiny black caterpillar stuck there, too. The tick was still alive, too, but stuck. I was intrigued but Sarah looked off into the distance and waited in disgust for me to be done.

Skunk cabbage, I broke a piece off to have Sarah smell it and she hated it.

She’s particular about what she wants to experience.

However, she loved the water… she loved the rocks …she loved the trees …she loved the moss. She was happy. Just please don’t show her ticks or make her smell skunky things.

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There are many different kinds of moss. If you touch them, some are soft and some are rough, some are wet and some are dry. Some look like tiny ferns and some look like underwater grasses. Some is short like carpet, some is fluffy and makes you wish you were tiny enough to snuggle within it. Some is bright green, it hurts your eyes, and some like the moss growing on this boulder, is the deepest darkest forest green.

book giveaway/maple syrup photos

Posted on March 26, 2019 by Shanda

(from a page in a book David is sending me)

The cats absolutely love to go outside and roll back and forth back and forth in the dirt. Bagheera was at the window wanting to come in (we have low porch windows that they can easily jump through) and when I walked over to open up the window he jumped through with his shiny black fur just as dusty and dirty as can be, I had to laugh!

I was gone for a few hours this morning. After I got Seth and Sarah on the bus and wrote a long long letter to a penpal, I received a text from a friend wondering if we could go walking together. I’m finally feeling better and energetic after the awful cold I had so I happily said “yes!” and off I went to her house. We walked over 2.5 miles together in a bright and cold New England morning, with the sky as clear and blue as the deep blue sea.

We walked past a wooded lot that had maple trees tapped for sap. The sap was dripping from the trees into long thin plastic tubes, which led to clean white plastic containers but I like the looks of the old fashioned way the best (although I admit for large operations it’s much better to use tubing and tubs!).

My Mom and Dad boil sap in the spring and collect it using hooded metal buckets.

I’ve never been able to be home on a boiling day, but my brother David took some wonderful photos on Saturday (full of freshly fallen March snow!) and sent them to me and I wanted to share them here.

Mom was talking about how to make Pesto while Dave took this video. I asked Dave why there was a big pot in the middle of the pan of sap and he said that they add the cold sap to the pot to start warming up so that they can add it warm and keep main tray of sap at a constant good boil.

Mom and Dad in their open shed, with their dog and wood and small homesteading maple syrup operation! So satisfying.

This is how they do the final straining of the syrup.

They make jars and jars of syrup and can use it all year long.

Leave a comment on this post or on my FB page and I’ll draw a name tomorrow and send this book to the lucky winner! As you know I’ve been reading through all the Newbery books and this 1957 winner was so charming and perfect to read at this time of year. I will order the book for you on amazon and have it mailed, so you will have to give me your mailing address. I’ll post the winner tomorrow at this time!

One of my little pleasures is warming up the children’s pancake syrup. Rich’s Dad also boils sap for syrup and he gives us lots and lots of it every year. Later on, after breakfast is over and done and I’m cleaning up, I like to stand and dip my finger way down into the leftover syrup and then pop my finger into my mouth for a nice clean mouthful of pure, sweet NY maple syrup goodness! What a blessing!

‘”The sap running gives me a feeling I can’t describe,” Mr Chris said. “Like it’s the blood of the earth moving.”‘ Miracles on Maple Hill, by Virginia Sorensen

my parents, my friends

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Shanda

“Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life.” Aurelius

Good morning, it’s 7:50am and 38 degrees here in our neck of the woods. I didn’t get to see David and Caleb this morning as I got up after their bus came and left. I woke up Seth with a kiss and he asked his typical, “Can you make me an egg sandwich with cheese and ham? Do we have bacon? No? okay, than with ham?” and then he took a 20 minute shower. I had to go back upstairs to knock on the door and tell him, “Your egg sandwich has been done for ten minutes!” Sarah Joy didn’t sleep well last night, and neither did I. When I got up at 2 to drink some milk, I found her sleeping on the couch. The dog was a few feet away, snoring and snoring. It was rather cozy I must admit. She was back in her bed this morning and didn’t want to get up. The sooner she realizes that she can live life even when super- tired the better.

They have left for school now, leaving me home alone. I’ve been feeling rather lonely lately and think I’ll try making a list of things to do in order to fill up my day and feel more productive. This morning I want to blog, shower, get some groceries, clean the coat closet, go for a walk, and get some laundry folded. Then this afternoon I’ll have to think of some more things to get done.

Sherlock the orange cat is stretched out on my art book, which I keep out on the table in front of the window here in the livingroom. I have paints and pens and papers, my Bible, note cards, glue, and books all over the table and he seems to feel at home there. Our black cat Bagheera is curled up next to me on a red wool blanket. I am sitting cross-legged on the couch with a pillow on my lap, with the computer on the pillow, typing away………at times I reach out and stroke his beautiful black fur and he always purrs in reply.

I’m thinking about what I was doing last week at this time. I was at my parent’s house and mom was frying us eggs. She fried four; one for me, one for Dad, one for her, and one for the dog. Dad mixed a few nuggets of dog food in with the dog’s egg and put it on the floor for him. Mom made gingerbread pancakes for me and herself. Dad didn’t want one. We all had bacon. Just as we were about to eat, Aunt Carol came. She lives just up the road from mom and dad and recently lost her husband. She would normally walk down for a visit but it was only ten degrees outside so she drove. Dad made coffee and we all enjoyed having a cup together. Mom showed Aunt Carol the scrapbook she is working on and I enjoyed watching the two sisters look through it, sitting side by side, and talking together about childhood memories.

I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for my family, each one is so special in many ways. I’m glad that we have each other. I’m glad I have parents who love me so much and want me to visit them. Mom took Monday morning off so she could be home with me and not have to go to work until I had to leave.

We looked at old family photos, ate a yummy St Patrick’s day boiled corned beef dinner, watched tv, worked on Mom’s scrapbook, talked, went for a wonderful walk outside, and just enjoyed each other’s company.

With my dear Dad!!!

Little me, with my mom and dad over forty years ago.

A meaningful quote in Dad’s writing, found propped against his books.

These words are engrained in my mind, as I remember reading this plaque through the years. The truth of them astounds me now, and comforts me.

The sisters looking at mom’s book.

Mom and Dad tap maple trees and boil sap in the springtime, so we walked up to check the buckets.

And guess what?

The sap was hanging from the spigots as icicles! Dad had boiled a few days before but knew he’d have a few days off since it was freezing cold. I love that they make syrup, there’s just something so satisfying about it and they have mason jars full of the finished product to enjoy all year-long.

My brother David sent me photos from this weekend that I’ll share tomorrow of the boiling.

There is something deep inside that is always put at ease when I am home again, especially outdoors. I find myself again and I’m me, just me, my mind relaxes as I listen to quiet and smell and see all the familiar things.

“I think this is how we are supposed to be in the world—present and in awe.” Anne Lamott

Just Shanda, out on a walk with her Mom and her Dad.

Dad was telling Mom about the tree he found to cut up for firewood and mom was telling him all the ways to do it safely.

Mom stopped to admire this rock. I smiled.

“I tell you the truth, if they kept silent their praise of the Lord, the stones themselves would cry out the message.” Luke 19:40

Beautiful morning frost on the moss. I got right on the ground to get closer. Look at the perfect patterns!

There is loveliness all around us, we just need the eyes to see and hearts to appreciate.

“The earth has music for those who listen.” Shakespeare

Back inside the warm house…..I gave mom the mushroom Joanna gave to me! I knew Jo wouldn’t mind, as she loves my mom, too. It just goes so well with mom’s corner collection (the one from me and Jo is on the green leaf). Look, she even has a mushroom planter which maybe I’ll try to steal next time I visit………….