long weekend

Posted on October 15, 2014 by Shanda

Colleen is my Mom’s baby sister and we are less that two years apart in age. We grew up in houses by the same dirt road, up on “the hill” in a small NY town. We grew up, not only as aunt and niece, but as playmates, with nicknames for one another, secret forts, snickerdoodles, sleepovers, arguments, family gatherings, church, school, and so much more. We shared every event in life together. We still do.

Aunt Colleen and Uncle Roger have four daughters and the whole family came to our place for a visit this weekend. They arrived Friday night and left yesterday. Our main goal for the visit was to simply be together and let the children play and make memories. We also cooked four pounds of bacon.

On Saturday my brother Isaac and his new wife, Cassandra, came over. My sister Amanda also came, with her husband Jason and their three children. Years ago, Colleen and I were a part of many huge family reunions, we have great memories of running around with cousins, and it was good to see our own children having fun together…..in total there were fifteen children and nine adults. (Michael also came, and Jacob’s girlfriend Emily, too.)

Amanda brought a big salad, Cassandra brought chocolate chip cookies. We made a bowl of punch and Colleen and I made broccoli salad, apple cake, apple crisp, a big pot of chili, and Ethan grilled hamburgers. No one went hungry.

I spy with my little eye; Sherlock the Cat!

Cassandra, Shanda, Amanda

Isaac, Shanda, Amanda

Meghan, Caleb, and Naomi (with the expressions of youth)

After church on Sunday we followed each other through McDonald’s drive thru and both families spent the same exact total. (!!)

Rich, Roger, Jacob, and Ethan went golfing; it was a beautiful afternoon to be outside.

*****

Then, we had all Monday morning to relax. We watched several hours of television with the activity of people coming and going, getting food, having conversations, laughing, enjoying each other, and Aunt Colleen crocheting.

Cozy family togetherness….such a blessing.

Sarah was in heaven, so to speak. I hardly saw her all weekend because she was so busy with the girls.

We took one group picture (only one!) with my self timer before they left to go home. (Rich was at work).

“Kindred spirits alone do not change with the changing years.” LM Montgomery

{this moment} what a man

Posted on October 10, 2014 by Shanda

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – “no words” – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

So my dearest is rarely home, works 12 hour days, goes on business trips….and surprise! he decided to work from home today….I was so happy, he was happy, we were all happy.

Yes, praise the Lord, and wow did he come in handy!

1. First, Jacob forgot his homework. Rich took it to school for him.
2. Then, for the first time in years, the dog busted through his hidden dog fence. twice. Rich went up the road to bring him back.
3. I had to do a huge Costco trip this morning. Rich came with me and did all (all) the loading and lifting.
4. We drove by our elderly neighbor’s house and saw him (80 years young) off his driveway, in the trees, lying helpless on the ground with his garbage cans tipped over next to him and his cane out of reach. Rich made an abrupt stop, parked the truck on the side of the road, ran to the man and helped him get his feet under him again. (he was okay, thankfully, but was so feeble, and had been there for a while trying to scoot to a tree so that he could use it to get up).

All these events occurred before 12:30 this afternoon.

He’s walking around the house like superman now, in my eyes. my hero.

*****

I was sitting on the tailgate of the truck, swinging my legs, watching him unload the cart when I took the picture.

young love

Posted on October 9, 2014 by Shanda

The Juniors go to Salem every year. Jacob went last year and he enjoyed it so much that when he had the opportunity to go again this year (with the Junior class), he was all for it. His brother Ethan is in the Junior class, and so is his girlfriend, Emily.

I picked them up after school yesterday; Jacob, Emily, Grace, and Ethan, and I immediately got an earful.

I was a tired mama at the wheel, smiling because I love them so much and listening to their chatter lifted my spirits.

“Mom Salem was SO fun”

“I had a caramel macchiato”

“hot or cold?”

“hot”

“I had a bubble tea, do you know what the bubbles are, Mom?”

“Oh is that the tea that has the chewy balls in it? I’m not sure what those are, maybe like a tapioca?”

“I need to look it up, I want to know.”

“Ethan wasn’t in our group. the dog.”

“I was with my own friends”

“Mom, since I won’t be in school next year will you and Dad take Emily and me to Salem? I won’t be able to legally drive her there myself yet.”

“Oh, can I go too?”

“Of course you can Grace, you can go with my brother Nathan.”

“Oh NO. I am NOT going on a date with Nathan. I like Nathan but he will never be my boyfriend.”

“Don’t start inviting everyone. If you do, I won’t go, it won’t be special.”

(long teasing argument about who can go with us, Jacob wants no one Emily wants everyone)

“Do we have to have an argument and discussion about something that’s not even written down yet?”

“I have it written down in MY book.”

“It’s written down in my heart.”

“I love Salem. We should live there,” says Jacob to Emily.

“Ok,” she says.

BE STILL MY HEART. Did I really just hear that?

As soon as we got home, Jacob didn’t take a shower. He didn’t eat. He sat on the couch because he wanted to show me all his pictures.

He took a picture of everything, his coffee, their lunch food (“She ordered a bagel sandwich because she wanted bacon. Ironically my sandwich also had bacon on it.”), them kissing (he flipped through those faster), Emily throwing leaves, Emily smiling, Emily this Emily that.

THEY ARE SO SO stinkin’ CUTE!

I never dreamed seeing my son in love would warm my heart so much.

the bubble tea

“She made me, mom, that’s why I have that expression on my face.”

J plus E

After they got up and left he turned around and took several pictures of the empty table & chairs.

He posted this picture on his Facebook page.

“I love her so much. She’s so cheerful and happy all the time and she’s all my world. Baby girl you’re the best ever.”

NOTE: I asked for and received Jacob’s permission to post these pictures. xo

PS. I was right. “Tapioca balls (boba) are the prevailing chewy tidbits in bubble tea, but a wide range of other options can be used to add similar texture to the drink. Green pearls have a small hint of green tea flavor and are chewier than the traditional tapioca balls.” ~wiki

for my friends

Posted on October 7, 2014 by Shanda

thank you

for calling me
thank you for praying with me
for sharing the things that hurt you,

because then I remember that I can be brave with my hurt, too.
thank you for laughing with me so much
Thank you for those journal bits you send in the mail.

thank you for traveling so far to spend time with me

thank you for loving my children

thank you for understanding

for being gentle

for the blanket you crocheted for me

the scarf you crocheted

the potholder you crocheted

For watching Mr. Rogers with me.

for teaching my daughter sign language

thank you for letting your children visit my family

for the letters

for the gifts

for spoiling me

for being yourself around me

snickerdoodles

for being warm and friendly so I know you truly care

making me forget about my phone

for not noticing my faults

for noticing my faults and being amused by them

for noticing things I didn’t think anyone saw

for leaving a comment on my blog every single time

hugs

giving my daughter essential oils for her headaches

forgiving me when I cancel our coffee date, again

talking nonstop

letting me cry it out

making me pee my pants

memories

thank you for the fabric napkins you made me

thank you for the quilts you made my babies

for being faithful

for telling me your morbid stories

for telling me when you wear the earrings I gave you

Thank you for teasing me.

Thank you for not pushing me too hard.
for knowing I love cherries, and owls, and cats.

for those pins you send me on pinterest

for the encouraging texts

being real

inspiring me

letting me in

inviting me over

letting me hold your baby

being quiet with me

singing with me

thank you for the vintage cookbooks

all those emails when I needed your guidance and experience

sharing your favorite people with me

sharing your favorite books with me

for saying yes

for being the one to pay for dinner

for making apple pies with me

for making my daughter that purse and filling it with goodies

for thinking of my son when you see something about snakes

the lilac disc pitcher

for all those long walks outside up on the hill

for all the random information about Norway because you know I want to go there

for finding me on Facebook so we can reconnect

Thank you for continuing to love me, and for not treating me any differently, even though I started going to another church.

Thank you for the poem, drawing and bag of truffles you left on my doorknob when I was away.

for the meals you cooked when I had a baby

for the recipes and tips for depression because you know I get that way sometimes.

***

Thank you for showing me GRACE

I don’t deserve you.

I can’t ever repay you.

But I want to love you back.

And be your friend, too.

This post is for all my friends,

and the pictures are from a day this summer when Joanna drove miles and miles to meet me at a park.

mothering little ones

Posted on October 6, 2014 by Shanda

I find myself contemplating the end of my *mothering preschoolers* stage of life. Since the age of 21 I have been caring for my own darling tiny children, truly, the work of raising them up has been the joy and purpose of my life, so far. I know that mothering never ends as long as I have children to love, but there is something so sweet and tender about the preschool years.

I’ve loved all seven of them with a love that surprised me. When I wrapped my arms around them and held them close, breathed them in, it did something to me that I will always remember. Does God give children to us because they need us or because we need them? Oh how much I have learned in being a mama.

Now that the older six are in school, it is just Sarah and me at home during the day.

(I’ve given her a bath this morning. Her hair is pulled back in a pony tail now, and she has a sparkly elastic headband around her hair. It has five stars on it. She’s sitting on the couch looking at one of her brother’s Star Wars books. We’re listening to Elizabeth Mitchell music. “You are my flower, you’re blooming there for me.”

She just put the book aside. “There’s no girl in this book.” she complained.)

We went for a walk on Friday and she was crying at the end of it because she was tired, but we enjoyed it anyway and talked about it together all weekend. Three of our four cats came with us and I realized that next year at this time, when Sarah Joy is in Kindergarten, I’ll probably be filling up this blog with pictures of my cats.

As Sarah and I walked, the cats ran past us and one time Sarah almost got knocked over by Billy. If we stopped, they stopped, or climbed a tree. They chased each other and did unexpected things. Walking with Sarah and three cats felt a little bit like 5 years ago, walking through the woods with five little ones and a baby in my arms. (when I was still homeschooling)

We saw some mushrooms. It had rained the day before so they were damp. This one was so very shiny that we bent to touch it’s top and discovered it was very slimy. When we lifted our finger off it a string of thick goo came up, too.

My friend Bobby Jo asked me recently if I had ever seen a “fairy ring” of mushrooms and we came close on this walk. I suppose you could call this a “fairy half-ring”.

And then we saw several of these on the trail under the oak trees in the forest.

Puff ball in Aspic or, “calostroma cinnabarinum”

SO interesting!!

It was the first time I observed them at this stage, just ready to PUFF for us.

Sarah had such fun pinching each one over and over until all the puff was gone, the round orange tops were dry and felt similar to thin rubber.

I carried acorns and other little forest things home in the pocket of my shirt (now surrounding a pillar candle). Sarah worried about losing the cats and eventually gave way to tears. Thankfully she got tired within sight of the house and with some encouragement and we all made it home for a nice nap.

“Oh Lord, thank you for the life you have given me. Help me in the sadness I feel in the ending of these busy years of mothering tiny children. Help me to feel contentment and gratitude that it happened, and not grieve too much, that it’s almost over. Help me to remember that these years have not been easy and there is much to be glad about in moving on to the next stage, such as never having to buy diapers again, (which is all I can think of at the moment). Thank you that in mothering the helpless I have learned so much about YOU, because that is what you do for me. In my weakness you make me strong. When I am hungry you feed me. When I am thirsty you give me drink. When I am sad you comfort me. You are my rock and my salvation, I honor and praise you, Jesus. Amen”

“Children are not angels, and yet they bring from heaven to earth many fragments of loveliness. Their influence in a home is a benediction. They soften hearts and change the whole thought of life in their parents. It is no more of self. They begin to live for their children. The children open love’s chambers. They train their parents in patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness. While a young child is in a home a school of heaven is set up there.” J.R. Miller

{this moment} “who’s bigger?”

Image

A Friday ritual.
A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

your friend on a zip line

Posted on October 2, 2014 by Shanda

Rich and I went to Orlando with Caleb and Seth this summer. I have already blogged about the majority of our vacation except for the fact that we went zip lining. Gatorland doesn’t allow people to zip line with personal phones or cameras, so our group was photographed by a Gatorland photographer. We purchased the CD of all the photos, and I just got them saved to my computer this past weekend.

When Rich told me that the activity for our group was zip lining, I didn’t say anything. I was thinking that it would be a very easy thing for me to get out of. It was an activity primarily for him and his team (from work) and I imagined I would explore the rest of the park while they had their excitement, which to me sounded exactly like a panic attack waiting to happen.

But somehow, maybe it was peer pressure, I found myself being pulled along with the whole group, until I was in the building signing consent forms for myself and my two little boys, and then watching the educational video and listening to the bearded young men teasing us about what was about to happen.

I felt like I was going to faint or wet my pants or cry, and I looked at my excited sons’ faces and thought what kind of mother am I??

But still I kept going with it!! I didn’t want to make a scene, so perhaps it was pride that made me zip line that day.

I wasn’t the only one fearful, several of the others were obviously unsure of the whole thing, so that was one small comfort. However, the whole group loved having the boys with us, because they were so cute and truly inspired us scared adults. “IF THEY can do it I can do it!!”

“Clip in and ‘zip’ off on an exciting outdoor adventure with the all-new Screamin’ Gator Zip Line at Gatorland Your journey will take you along 1,200 feet of high flying, heart pounding adventure from some of the finest zip line towers in the world. Standing over seven stories tall, these amazing towers feature multilevel launch pads and breathtaking views from high above the treetops.” ~from the brochure

After walking up several flights of stairs we took turns getting hooked up and watching each other zip along….this is dear Caleb.

As a mother, it was hard for me to see them do this activity, but I was proud of them, and knew they were in good hands.

They will never forget this experience, I know.

Tiny Seth sometimes felt as though he wouldn’t make it to the other end, his body didn’t gain the speed necessary to go as fast as he wanted to.

He looked concerned.

Rich loved it.

I held on for dear life.

The worst thing was the bearded young men and their teasing. One time they got me hooked up, let me go off the platform, and as I zipped away, he leaned after me yelling, “No, WAIT!!” It took a moment to realize he was joking, and that moment was terrifying.

They took another group photo at the next platform. We’re all happy we survived the first run.

If you click on the photo, you can see it larger. These were the best photos of us…over the gators!

I’m thankful for Rich because if it weren’t for him I would not be having such an exciting life.

They were encouraging us all to let go and pose for the camera but I didn’t remember until I was almost to the end of the line.

There was a bearded young man waiting to catch me.

(they all had beards! LOL)

Click on this to see Caleb’s adorable face!! I asked him this morning if he would ever zip line again and he yelled “YES! OF COURSE I WOULD!”

My baby boy.

He waved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t stand the cuteness.

Seth going in for the landing…….after these two zip lines there were more to do but no more pictures were taken.

Just writing this post increased my heart rate.

*****

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

There have been many times when I refused to do something because it was scary. I will never be a daring adventurous person, but it does feels good to say yes sometimes, experience something new, and have the joy of making a fantastic memory.

i see fire

Posted on October 1, 2014 by Shanda

It’s raining this morning, I love the sound and the smell! Caleb just got on the bus. Seth and Sarah are playing together for about 20 more minutes before Seth’s bus comes to get him for school.

The trees are colorful, I wonder if we are at peak fall beauty? God’s creation never ceases to amaze and delight!

I am leaving here soon for Community Bible Study. Our group is studying Romans and this morning we also have a brunch. I look forward to getting to know my ladies better today.

Last night the High School had a Variety show. Ethan and Grace sang a duet together. I was so proud of them! All the kids did so well, it made us smile no matter what the quality of performance is. As Jacob said afterwards, we clapped because they did awesome or we clapped because they were brave enough to perform.

They sang a rather dark song that had the phrase “I see fire” repeating in it enough that it also keeps going through my head all day, everyday (from hearing them practice). The song was from the Desolation of Smaug. I just looked it up, the title is not surprising, “I See Fire”.

Here’s the official music video from the movie:

Jacob taped their performance, and if i can figure out how to load it I will do so. They were so cute together up there.

At the end of the song, Grace gave E a cute look, like, “Wasn’t that fun?”

Our church youth group and leadership came out to support them, making the night even more fun! Thanks, guys!!

Want to hear something neat? Two of the Youth Group leaders are brother and sister…..and their names are Seth and Sara! So this is a picture of the four of them, big Seth with little Seth, and big Sara with little Sarah.

It was a great night.