This weekend I was on my tummy on the dock resting and trying to achieve a zen state. It wasn’t too hard, the mesmerizing pond was just underneath me, I could see fish and bugs and pretty patterns on top of the water. Rich was next to me already in a perfect zen state; he was sleeping. I got restless and had to use the bathroom so I woke him up to tell him I would be right back. It wasn’t rude, it was because I was thoughtful and wanted to make sure if he woke up while I was gone he would not worry that I had 1)fallen in the pond and drowned or 2) ran away. He made a noise so I knew he heard me but he didn’t wake up.

Well…………I had bought myself a necklace from Brighton, it was so pretty and I was wearing it for days and days, it had two dangling pieces on it and when I got up to run to the house one of the dangly pieces ripped off the necklace and got stuck tightly between the cracks in the wooden boards of the dock. I was dismayed. I couldn’t get it out with my fingers, either. So there it sat, because somehow I forgot to tell Rich what happened, until the next day when I remembered and took him over to show him.

It wasn’t there anymore. Even though I had thought it was wedged tightly, somehow it got loose and fell into the waters below rather like Anne’s story of the amethyst brooch. But this was no story. I was annoyed but determined to find it when I had the time to do so.

Well, today I found myself by the pond looking at a shabby bug and then, as these chains of events so often happen, I THEN found myself on the dock trying to peer through the cracks to see if I could locate the lost chain. AND THEN, I took off my shoes and socks so I could walk down the bank and get a closer look. And….yes….after walking carefully and squinting into the cold water I could just make out (if I concentrated) what I thought was my missing necklace fragment. However, the water was now just to reaching the hem of my (pure) white shorts, so before I could get the necklace I decided to take them off right there by the edge of the pond. I went swimming today! But by swimming I mean wading, really. In waist deep water, I reached down with my toes and grabbed the necklace, lifting it up out of the water along with other stuff like mud and old bits of twigs. I was amazed I got it in the first try and was filled with joy. I even took photos of everything like a good little blogger.

The curiously shabby insect. I believe it was probably just born and trying to dry out it’s wings and body.

After staring through the cracks, I took my shoes and socks off.

It was hard to see anything at all.

I was under the dock. By the way, aren’t my teeth looking nice? (Invisalign)

It was on top of the mud next to the pole of the dock.

Here it is!! Along with what looks like a pond-soaked pine needle.

When I sent the photos to my husband he said, “I didn’t want to discourage you yesterday when you mentioned it–but I thought ‘there’s no way she’s finding that.'” I’m always doing things to surprise my husband, just ask him.

After I got out of the pond I looked around to make sure it was safe and decided to make a run for it and just keep my shorts in my hand. It was surprisingly exhilerating.

Streakers, I understand you.

**********

(a few hours later)

now look at the dock!

David and his friend put the trampoline on it. I’m scared.

Make me walk
along the path of your commands,
for that is where
my happiness is found.
Psalm 119:35

My little niece, Elena, came for a visit on Friday.

She drank out of fiestaware!

Good morning, friends!
How are you?
How was your weekend?
Mine was great, some slightly rough emotional parts, but other than a few episodes of crying it out of my system…..it was full of all the things I love most; family, nature, pets, reading, laughter, conversation, God, and love.

Sherlock the cat absolutely loves to sleep on my scrapbook.

I finished this 2018 Newbery Honor book and it was EXCELLENT. It is set in medieval times, which is one of my favorite time periods to immerse my reading self into.

I recently read the 2018 winner and in my opinion, The Book of Boy was a better story and should have won. Now I am reading the other Honor book and I’ll let you know how I feel it compares.

I am still greatly enjoying my decision to read every Newbery winner and honor book, it has expanded my reading world immensely.

Our son Ethan came home on Friday with something terribly wrong with his truck so Rich (highly gifted in mechanics) spent the weekend figuring it out and yesterday had success in fixing it. He and Ethan even posted a youtube video explaining the problem because he had so much trouble finding a solution online. Anyway, I thought this sight was amusing this weekend as I walked back to the house with chicken eggs in my overall pockets.

I wanted to show you photos of our favorite local country store, which is listed as a historical building. We have to drive past this store on our way to Little League games and we stop once or twice a week to get drinks or sandwiches. It’s utterly charming.

Millpond Country Store, named for the huge pond behind the building and where lots of people picnic or fish all summer.

There is a sunny dining area off the back with another entrance and very often there is a table or two of older gray haired gentlemen visiting together.

I always admire the amazing uneven wooden floors and close quartered shelves of snacks and stuff.

again with the floors

(one of the older gray haired gentlemen)

There is a deli and they offer made-to-order sandwiches along with ice cream cones, as well.

I love the lemon ginger scones.

My dear husband

While our sandwiches are being prepared I like to smell all the candles. 🙂

And of course there is a swinging squeaking screen door that slams behind you as you come and go.

We took our baseball player a chocolate milk. Rich and I sat and ate our food and watched as Seth went around the bases little by little and then finally sliding into home and hurting his knee when the ball was thrown to home (hitting him in the knee). He has a huge bruise and is still trying to limp (because he thinks its cool). He wore a knee brace to school today (unnecessary) and is going on a field trip but he “doesn’t remember where.”

He was ready for school half an hour early this morning so I sent him straight outside to play while waiting for the bus. “You’re obviously trying to get rid of me”, he said.

Home sweet Home

Sarah had a friend come over and play on Saturday afternoon and they swam in the pond.

Rich and I went for a walk with Caleb and Grace and I got this nice photo of Caleb who has his 8th grade promotion on Friday. (can’t fathom it) He was the baby of the family when I started blogging.

pretty wildflower spotted on the side of the road

We snuck downtown for ice cream, just the two of us. My son Caleb put the flower in my hair during our earlier in the evening walk (heartmelts)

I had a strawberry sundae with strawberry cheesecake ice cream and it was so good.

I was also quite cute.

I didn’t take as many photos on Sunday but I did get this one of Seth playing tennis ball catch using a POTHOLDER from my kitchen as a glove.

We planted this lilac bush years ago and it’s so big and fluffy and lovely now.

It’s so pretty with the other bush balancing it out on the other side of the path. The open window is the kitchen and we can smell the lilacs from inside the house.

Maybe today I will get photos of the butterflies and things that visit the blossoms. I saw a hummingbird moth the other night fluttering around it.

Kids playing at the end of the day.

Rich took these two photos of me. The first is me looking at a bug when we were walking up at the dam. I was also checking on the wild roses and strawberries.

And then yesterday evening we went to the school so he could run at the track (we asked the children if they wanted to come but they all seven of them said no). I had already done my walking for the day so I took my book bag and a quilt that I made myself and did some reading.

He sent me a song from the track, you’ll have to go to youtube and take a listen: Haywire by Josh Turner. “First time I saw her in them cut off jeans I knew that I’d be in for a treat…..” “…and that country girl is good for my heart”

Happy Monday friends, you are loved.

“The teaching of your Word gives light, so even the simple can understand…

…come and show me your mercy, as you do for all who love your name.”

Psalm 119:130 & 132

It took me longer to make her ninth birthday cake than it did to give birth to her, but it wasn’t as painful. I used a Cook’s Country recipe for strawberry poke cake. I made it the first time a few years ago and when Sarah asked for a strawberry cake for her birthday I went straight back to that recipe. It’s special because unlike other poke cake recipes, this one uses less sugar, tastes much fresher and is less artificial tasting. In my opinion, it’s perfection.

We have our own flock of chickens which is why there is a feather in the egg bowl. 😉

At 8:00 am yesterday morning I was whipping up the cake batter in my ever-useful red KitchenAid mixer.

The recipe used up 6 egg whites. The cake pan had to be greased, lined in parchment, and then greased and floured. Extensive. Sarah licked the bowl after I put the batter in the pan.

Fiesta spatula, but of course!

Since I was feeling industrious, the oven was already on, Grace is home from college, and I had over-ripe bananas on the counter, I also made a banana bread.

This is what the cake looked like after pouring the gelatin mixture on top.

In the fridge it went, for three hours.

This is what the cake looked like after the jam-like strawberry purree was spread on top. Then, I whipped heavy cream and frosted it with that (no photo).

Rich and I went to Caleb’s baseball game and then we went home and had the cake. David wasn’t home because he was busy getting ninth place in 300 hurdles at States.

Seth was loudly playing his recorder all this time but then he had to stop so we could sing. We had asked Jacob to buy candles at the store a few days prior and he went ahead and bought trick ones that never can be blown out. No one was suspicious as we had never used them before. And in this way, the cake was lit. and lit. and lit again.

“Blow them out, Sarah!”

“It’s like playing wack-a-mole”

“There’s going to be a lot of spit on that cake.”

We think she blew enough out to be ninety years old instead of nine.

It was worth waiting for.

Ethan sinned.

Sarah decided to eat a second piece of cake and not bother eating the ice cream at all.

The edge is uneven because we went after “one last bite” with our forks…a whole bunch of us.

Ethan doesn’t typically like cake but even he said “This cake is lit”

Well……. the baby is home from school today and the baby is now nine. I’ve been making her cake all morning and it won’t be done until later on….. after two baseball games. Also son David is currently at states for hurdles (!!!!).

(My brother David is having a hard time signing into my blog…..let me know if it was a struggle for you and how you fixed it. Thank you!)

Back to the nine year old. She’s on the couch on her stomach playing Geometry Dash on her brother’s kindle with her bare feet up in the air. Grace and Brittnee are here as well, but they are in the other room talking to Pastor Gary because (happy news!) Brittnee is getting baptized this summer. Hopefully in our pond like David and Caleb before her. (pond blessings)

Back to the nine year old.

She’s had a nice day so far. She’s been playing with her little plastic cats that she loves so much. She drank delicious hot chocolate made with cinnamon and vanilla, served by her sister who says she’s “practicing for when she works in a coffee shop”. She ate homemade macaroni and cheese also made for her by her sister who knows how to make a great pot of comfort pasta. She went for a walk with Grace and me in the wet wet woods. It’s 58 degrees today and as cloudy as all get-out.

I always noticed the peonies on this day…..because when Sarah was born on a beautiful Sunday morning in 2010, the peonies in the flower garden were in bloom. This year, they are still tightly closed. It’s facinating how each spring is a little different.

**************

Here are nine photos for the nine year old; some of my favorites from the past week or so.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful girl. Mom and Dad love you so much dearest Sarah.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

Have a marvellous day, friends! You are loved.

“I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word. Keep me from lying to myself…….” Psalm 119:28, 29

I haven’t wept today. But I told Grace over and over that I wasn’t going to be happy and I didn’t want her or anyone else trying to cheer me up because it was not going to work. After the kids left for school I ate a yogurt and then went on a walk. I listened to a MLJ sermon and when a car went by me I wondered if it would hit me, without really caring too much. However, by the time the walk was over I realized that I had the interest & energy to go to Target. Not for fun mind you, but for business. I told Grace, “I’m going to Target…..” She lifted up her face (she was reading) with a hurt “she doesn’t want me” expression. To which I replied, “…and you’re coming with me!” I warned her though, that it wasn’t going to be fun.

We made our way to Target and she read out loud from the current book I’m in; Beartown. I just want to get it done so I can move on to the next one. Grace is a willing reader but she starts out with a normal voice and tends to get quieter and quieter. I try not to say anything. Every once in a while I might lean toward her and say politely, “What was that word?” but for the most part I take it as a listening challenge. With her help I got through three more chapters.

We went to Target and I parked crooked. This proved to be wise as it helped us find the car after our shopping (they all looked the same).

I had a matcha latte and Grace had a chai latte. We shopped but it was a bust as the hoverboard I need to buy Sarah for her birthday was not there. We did get the plastic cats though. When Christopher rang us up he asked how our day was going and I said, “Not that great.” and Grace said, “I’m trying to have a nice day.” And I explained, “It’s hard for her because she’s with me.” and Christopher said to Grace, “I understand.” I think he was flirting with her.

We made our way to the next shopping destination. I won’t get into it but I will say I bought earrings, a necklace, and a skirt for myself and it made me no happier.

And then we went to a bookstore.

All in all, I wouldn’t call it a fun day but despite my dogged determination, I laughed quite a bit.

P H O T O S

• 

Grace and I went for a walk and she wanted to take my picture (“you look like you don’t have pants on”) so I made my “I’m not going to be happy today” face. We stood in the road and laughed so hard that I said, “We would have never gotten as much pleasure out of a smile.” And she agreed.

I’m holding an ice cream cone and wearing Rich’s sweatshirt. And new sunglasses.

When facing the unknown, hope is as reasonable as despair.”

Martha W. Hickman

Thank you for being here friends,

You are loved.

PS, I am in a Lemony Snicket mood.

Here she goes again, typing about misery and woe. Oh the feelings of deep feelers. If only we could do something to numb the pain. Like alcohol or drugs perhaps? But that won’t work, will it? We need something a bit more righteous to help us through the tough times. This is what helps me:

crying. a lot.

breathing deeply

talking to someone I trust

writing writing writing writing

blogging

music (I am very selective about what I listen to when feeling blue, as certain songs can plunk me into the depths of despair at the drop of a hat)

watching TV. Star Trek, don’t laugh, is a safe show for my nerves. I am not forced to feel anything deeply (important) while watching Star Trek….. and it very often puts me to sleep.

hugging people, animals, trees, pillows, or even my own self

doing the next thing (I hung laundry outside today while crying)

keep loving.

reading. I read the Bible and my current book (Beartown by Fredrik Backman) but something I love to do while depressed (love?while depressed?….such an oxymoron) is have my journal ready for every.single.good.quote that I come across.

Like this one,

“People say that sorrow is mental but longing is physical. One is a wound, the other an amputated limb, a withered petal compared to a snapped stem. Anything that grows closely enough to what it loves will eventually share the same roots. We can talk about loss, we can treat it and give it time; but biology still forces us to live according to certain rules: plants that are split down the middle don’t heal, they die.”

Beartown, page 138

(Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity)

walking outside

noticing nature

being ready to laugh when possible (look for humor) Like the other day when I said “I don’t want to go to Costco I’m depressed” and Brittnee replied, “You can’t be depressed. You have too many children to be depressed.” I had to laugh.

taking photos

cleaning something

being honest without being a complainer (there is something magical about being honest, it really does help lift the spirits)

praying

stomping the feet (preferably with loud shoes on), sighing deeply while groaning, putting something away a little bit louder than necessary, or shutting a door or cupboard harder than needs be. I would never suggest smashing fiestaware.

Here is something (I confess) that I do all the time that never ever ever helps: RUMINATING OVER ALL THE THINGS THAT AREN’T HELPFUL. What if? How can I fix it? Why? Will this thing happen? How did it that thing happen? I’m afraid! I’m not strong! I can’t do this! I simply must make sense of this! Who what where when why?

Can anyone please tell me how to shut off my mind? I would really appreciate it.

A true blessing these days is that I’m able to sleep at night. That’s one way to stop thinking!

photos from today:

***************

Caleb came to sit with me and is rocking back and forth quickly in his chair and eating a roast beef sandwich. Jacob came through the house and came outside to say hello to me after work. Sarah is playing a cat game in my flower garden nearby. Rich just got home.

• 

• 

**sitting in the sunshine**

“That’s both a big and a small thing. Knowing that there are people who will never abandon you.” Beartown page 50

What helps you when you’re feeling melancholy?

((you are loved))

Hi and Good morning!

Having to make my blog private, my former readers must send a request to me through wordpress in order to be accepted as a new viewer. When the request comes to me I am given NO information about you except your chosen username. The problem for me is, I feel that I need to know who you are, and a few of you have chosen usernames that have no meaning for me as your humble blog creator/writer.

I need to feel comfortable here, so I ask that you (don’t be shy) leave a comment today and tell me anything you want to tell me….(for instance, what’s your weather? Are you wearing socks? Do you know me in real life? Have you read my blog for long? How did you find it? What made you go through the effort of requesting access? What’s your real name? Do I know you from past comments and interaction on the blog?) Any ol’ comment will do!!

I would truly appreciate it. I have a list within my settings of each of your usernames (only names, no email addresses) and I will be keeping track of who I hear from. If I NEVER hear from a particular user, I will have to remove that person from my readers list simply because I have no idea who you are. This in the long run will make a more comfortable way for us all to communicate here.

If you’ve already left a comment on the previous post you don’t have to leave one here unless you really want to. I always love to hear from you, my dear friends.

Thank you,
Shanda, for blog housekeeping

From His abundance, we have all received
one gracious blessing after another.  John 1:16

Have a happy Sunday my friends,
You are loved.