life is hard sometimes (refrain)

Here she goes again, typing about misery and woe. Oh the feelings of deep feelers. If only we could do something to numb the pain. Like alcohol or drugs perhaps? But that won’t work, will it? We need something a bit more righteous to help us through the tough times. This is what helps me:

crying. a lot.

breathing deeply

talking to someone I trust

writing writing writing writing


music (I am very selective about what I listen to when feeling blue, as certain songs can plunk me into the depths of despair at the drop of a hat)

watching TV. Star Trek, don’t laugh, is a safe show for my nerves. I am not forced to feel anything deeply (important) while watching Star Trek….. and it very often puts me to sleep.

hugging people, animals, trees, pillows, or even my own self

doing the next thing (I hung laundry outside today while crying)

keep loving.

reading. I read the Bible and my current book (Beartown by Fredrik Backman) but something I love to do while depressed (love?while depressed?….such an oxymoron) is have my journal ready for every.single.good.quote that I come across.

Like this one,

“People say that sorrow is mental but longing is physical. One is a wound, the other an amputated limb, a withered petal compared to a snapped stem. Anything that grows closely enough to what it loves will eventually share the same roots. We can talk about loss, we can treat it and give it time; but biology still forces us to live according to certain rules: plants that are split down the middle don’t heal, they die.”

Beartown, page 138

(Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity)

walking outside

noticing nature

being ready to laugh when possible (look for humor) Like the other day when I said “I don’t want to go to Costco I’m depressed” and Brittnee replied, “You can’t be depressed. You have too many children to be depressed.” I had to laugh.

taking photos

cleaning something

being honest without being a complainer (there is something magical about being honest, it really does help lift the spirits)


stomping the feet (preferably with loud shoes on), sighing deeply while groaning, putting something away a little bit louder than necessary, or shutting a door or cupboard harder than needs be. I would never suggest smashing fiestaware.

Here is something (I confess) that I do all the time that never ever ever helps: RUMINATING OVER ALL THE THINGS THAT AREN’T HELPFUL. What if? How can I fix it? Why? Will this thing happen? How did it that thing happen? I’m afraid! I’m not strong! I can’t do this! I simply must make sense of this! Who what where when why?

Can anyone please tell me how to shut off my mind? I would really appreciate it.

A true blessing these days is that I’m able to sleep at night. That’s one way to stop thinking!

photos from today:

“Sarah hold still so I can take a picture of your hair, it’s getting so long.” “Can you cut it?” “No”
Ethan went to a lacrosse game yesterday and came across his old wrestling coach (old as in former and old as in age). This man always has goats with him and shows up at random sporting events looking like he just got out of bed and off the farm. He had some rather rough looking potted pansies in his truck and told Ethan to bring one home for me. Wasn’t that nice?
Also, morning coffee, box of writing utensils, open Bible, pages of quotes
Lea Ann’s proof of life selfie. What a blessing to have a friend who checks to make sure you’re alive.
lunch for three
It’s a cat. It’s fiestaware.


Caleb came to sit with me and is rocking back and forth quickly in his chair and eating a roast beef sandwich. Jacob came through the house and came outside to say hello to me after work. Sarah is playing a cat game in my flower garden nearby. Rich just got home.

**sitting in the sunshine**

“That’s both a big and a small thing. Knowing that there are people who will never abandon you.” Beartown page 50

What helps you when you’re feeling melancholy?

((you are loved))

20 thoughts on “life is hard sometimes (refrain)

  1. Agree – life is certainly hard, even seems unbearable at times.

    Here’s what helps me: working out, running, listening to music, praying, focusing on the positive, listen to an inspiring podcast, eating, think about what I can control/not what I can’t, do something thoughtful for someone who needs it, remind myself to just keep moving forward, make a list of what I need to get done and work the list, remind myself that the struggle is temporary.

    I’m glad you added the verse after the quote. It helped me see how you were thinking about it.

    Love you!
    -Your Husband

  2. Music… but like you, I have to be selective. Cleaning and organizing my home… Watering my plants and splashing in the water like a little kid… Christmas movies such as Home Alone and Elf… Working out if I can get out of my head enough to do so… particularly lifting weights which is my favorite… Cuddling our animals (3 cats and 3 dogs, soon to be 5 cats and 3 dogs)… Praying and journaling… Those are the things that help me find peace and comfort and joy in the melancholy.

    Love and prayers sweet friend!!!

    • Thank you for the love and prayers and your suggestions. I like the playful one, such a good tip! And I like how you mentioned working out, especially doing your favorite workout. Christmas movies is also different, I like it!! Congrats on two new cats!

  3. Walks alone and working out helps me a ton. And some days are just more emotional than others and that’s ok. One way to stay above these feelings is to acknowledge them and know that it’s ok.
    If you ever want to talk I’m only a message or email away!

    • “acknowledge them and know it’s okay” this one is hard for me. I usually feel like I want to do anything to get rid of the pain, but it is much better to have perspective and know “this is part of living and it’s okay”. Makes the good days much more appreciated, too. Thank you for saying you’re an email away, I want to be there for you, too. Hugs.

  4. Watching Anne of Green Gables, with Megan Follows. It’s just so pure, and I can’t help but think if Anne can find joy in the smallest of things, maybe I can too?

    • That is one of my all time favorite movies. I do own it but it’s been a while. I used the words, “heaving bosom” the other day and Grace said I sounded like Anne. Have you read the books? SO good hearing from you. Having someone mention Anne always makes me smile bc I love her, too. Blessings!

      • I adore the books! I grew up reading the first over and over and one day I was reading your blog and you mentioned the others and it had never occurred to me that there where more but I’m glad there are.

  5. I wish I knew how to shut off my mind! I do find that getting aerobic exercise helps me, and prayer and focusing on the positive. But honestly it can be hard work for me to focus on the positive, and so much easier for me to slip in to thoughts of “what if” etc.

  6. Thankfully you have wonderful support of friends and family.
    When I struggle… it’s not fun. I continually have to cry out to the Lord even when there is no relief and learn to trust Him.. believing He is working in me despite how I feel. I speak much truth to myself as I can. I also ask close friends to pray for me… that comforts me so much. Your right on about being honest but not complaining. We have to be honest with what’s going on.. that is helpful.

    I sent you an article on Spurgeon and suffering. I believe he read other men who battled with it and learned from them.
    Knowing other people have gone through it and what they learned is helpful and encouraging. Reminding yourself of precious truths.

    “those who never have to push through the waves of difficulty never grow in strength and maturity like those who do. Those who live in the lap of luxury and never experience the discipline of trouble tend always to be more frail and feeble in their faith. On the whole, therefore, “it is good for a man to bear the yoke; good for a man to breast the billows; good for a man to pass through fire and through water, and so to learn sublime lessons.” Trouble can strengthen, and trouble can reveal the work that needs to be done in us. Tears, discovered through experience, can clear the eye so that we see with an improved vision and perspective. Losses reveal the insufficiency of all the things around us that we cherish, enabling us to appreciate the all-sufficiency of Christ more.” -Spurgeon

  7. Let me add a cup of good tea in fiesta-ware is always helpful too❤️ (Learned that one from a dear friend😉)

  8. Creating something pretty to give/send to another.
    Just because.
    Time in the WORD!! Goes without saying.

  9. A good hot cup of coffee on the sofa with kids piled around. And getting out for a walk/ run in the fresh air. But mostly, I just push through and do the next thing. Because I have six small children and keeping Isaiah alive doesn’t give me time to think about much else. Then after I out the kids to bed at night, I have a good cry about all the craziness of the day! Oh and my flowerbeds in the summer and and my indoor potted plants the rest of the year.

    • I just have to share this quote with you and your Isaiah: “As the mother feels with the weakness of her babe, so does Jesus with the poorest, saddest, and weakest of His chosen.” Spurgeon. That great love almost always aching and painful toward your baby? That’s Jesus toward you and all of His precious ones.

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