“I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word. Keep me from lying to myself…….” Psalm 119:28, 29

I haven’t wept today. But I told Grace over and over that I wasn’t going to be happy and I didn’t want her or anyone else trying to cheer me up because it was not going to work. After the kids left for school I ate a yogurt and then went on a walk. I listened to a MLJ sermon and when a car went by me I wondered if it would hit me, without really caring too much. However, by the time the walk was over I realized that I had the interest & energy to go to Target. Not for fun mind you, but for business. I told Grace, “I’m going to Target…..” She lifted up her face (she was reading) with a hurt “she doesn’t want me” expression. To which I replied, “…and you’re coming with me!” I warned her though, that it wasn’t going to be fun.

We made our way to Target and she read out loud from the current book I’m in; Beartown. I just want to get it done so I can move on to the next one. Grace is a willing reader but she starts out with a normal voice and tends to get quieter and quieter. I try not to say anything. Every once in a while I might lean toward her and say politely, “What was that word?” but for the most part I take it as a listening challenge. With her help I got through three more chapters.

We went to Target and I parked crooked. This proved to be wise as it helped us find the car after our shopping (they all looked the same).

I had a matcha latte and Grace had a chai latte. We shopped but it was a bust as the hoverboard I need to buy Sarah for her birthday was not there. We did get the plastic cats though. When Christopher rang us up he asked how our day was going and I said, “Not that great.” and Grace said, “I’m trying to have a nice day.” And I explained, “It’s hard for her because she’s with me.” and Christopher said to Grace, “I understand.” I think he was flirting with her.

We made our way to the next shopping destination. I won’t get into it but I will say I bought earrings, a necklace, and a skirt for myself and it made me no happier.

And then we went to a bookstore.

All in all, I wouldn’t call it a fun day but despite my dogged determination, I laughed quite a bit.

P H O T O S

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Grace and I went for a walk and she wanted to take my picture (“you look like you don’t have pants on”) so I made my “I’m not going to be happy today” face. We stood in the road and laughed so hard that I said, “We would have never gotten as much pleasure out of a smile.” And she agreed.

I’m holding an ice cream cone and wearing Rich’s sweatshirt. And new sunglasses.

When facing the unknown, hope is as reasonable as despair.”

Martha W. Hickman

Thank you for being here friends,

You are loved.

PS, I am in a Lemony Snicket mood.