monday

Posted on September 26, 2016 by Shanda

On my way to let out my flock of hens, I saw a Solitary Sandpiper on the edge of the pond. This is the first time in 10 years I’ve seen one right here on our property, and according to my bird app, this bird is “rare” for our area. It bobs up and down when it walks and peeps now and then. It’s so cute!

I was highly annoyed when my cat ran after it, scaring it away before I was ready to say goodbye.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” Isaiah 30:21

There was a scar on yonder mountainside,
Gashed out where the cruel storm had trod;
A barren, desolate chasm, reaching wide
Across the soft green sod.

But years crept by beneath the purple pines,
And veiled the scar with grass and moss once more,
And left it fairer now with flowers and vines
Than it had been before.

There was a wound once in a gentle heart,
From which life’s sweetness seemed to ebb and die;
And love’s confiding changed to bitter smart,
While slow, sad years went by.

Yet as they passed, unseen an angel stole
And laid a balm of healing on the pain,
Till love grew purer in the heart made whole,
And peace came back again.

from Streams, by LB Cowman

I let the chickens out, and as we have two rabbits in the coop, I went down to the edge of the pond to gather fresh clover for them. I dropped my handful twice in order to take photos. This spider web was a tiny perfect work of art. The spider was about the size of a grain of rice. I was careful not to pull up the clover which surrounded it’s beautiful web.

My cat the bird chaser now started bothering the fish. It was pretty neat, actually, to see Mr. Fish come close to Mr. Cat….and then get swatted for his efforts to be friendly. The fish followed him all along the edge of the pond.

I was happy to find a Solitary Sandpiper feather covered in dew. I brought it home in my pocket, along with two eggs from the chicken coop.

He froze for a photo and then jumped quietly off the rock, and then under it. I imagined a cozy home for frogs, just right, with lots of dampness.

bd79c2feafc13e38795ae4266cd48bb5

gossamer upon flowers and grass; more spider art

The bunnies received their salad with joy and I headed back for the house.

It’s been cool this morning. I did some weeding, and texting with my Mama, family laundry was hung out to dry, I picked smooth tomatoes from the garden, and a pumpkin. Inside the house, there is a gray cat curled up in a ball on a red velvet cushion next to me.

I’m thinking about my son David, tomorrow is his birthday. He requested a cheesecake so when the Schwan’s truck came earlier I bought one from them. Now I just need to make sure we have 14 candles in the house.

Happy Monday!

You are loved.

“God is there to meet you in the center of each trial. And He will whisper to you His secrets, which will bring you out with a radiant face and such an invincible faith that all the demons of hell will never be able to shake it.” E.A.Kilbourne

flicker

Posted on September 23, 2016 by Shanda

I want to blog every.single.day. If I don’t blog, it’s because I have writer’s block, I’m sick, or I’m too busy…..even now I only have fifteen minutes.

I just love sitting here with my laptop, typing and sharing my photos.

I took this picture of a spider and then noticed a butterfly. (or is it the other way around?)

Yesterday I went for a walk and a pair of old friends pulled up next to me in their car. They had brought us vegetables from their garden, including a turnip the size of a bowling ball. Oh it was such a happy, quick visit. They asked about the children and we stood out in the hot September sun, by their car, chatting and smiling. When they left we hugged each other and then the Mr. stopped and said, “I hear a Flicker”, while looking up into the treetops by my house. Nothing. The Mrs. and I heard it too, but we both thought maybe it was the squirrel we saw. “No, it’s a flicker, remember, we had one at our place the other day?” he said to his wife.

We looked for it, just for a moment, but then it was time for goodbye.

We’ve almost eaten all the watermelon, and it’s that juicy and pink.

Today I did something for the first time. I’ve arrived late for Doctor’s appointments, I’ve completely forgotten Doctor’s appointments, I’ve showed up for the wrong day, but today was the first time I was exactly an hour early. I could not believe it. What a mother I am (this was a check up for Grace). We had time to leave and go to Barnes and Noble (double discount days for members!). She had a hot chai and I had a hot cider and we spent some time browsing the nice books and magazines.

dsc_0546-1

We went to get Cassandra to bring her back home with us, and we made chicken enchiladas for dinner.

(Have you noticed the bug theme?)

dsc_0548-1

After my vegetable friends left yesterday I wandered around with my camera and it was like a dizzy dream…..the sun was soaking into my bones…I was tired…buzzing sounds filled my ears….the smell of wild plants was the best potpourri ever imagined. The stinging bees and hornets and wasps were busy all over the place, they got along just fine as they each found a spot to gather from the flowers. They especially love the goldenrod.

I like to lean in very closely and just observe. They have such interesting ways, wings, eyes, legs……movements, every where I looked there were more and more flying insects, crawling, working, such tiny things almost unnoticeable unless a person stops to look for them.

The sun continued to bake everything under it, including myself. You know that feeling when you first get into a hot tub and you say “ahhhhhhhh” and close your eyes?

The experience was like a lullaby and I became so tired I lay back in the grass for a minute or so.

Looking up, I saw a bird way up high in the dead tree.

It was a Flicker.

praising

Posted on September 21, 2016 by Shanda

dsc_0384-1

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

For almost a year we have been taking our youngest child to doctor’s appointments for what began as a UTI that kept coming back. Because of the UTI, we were sent to a specialist and learned (after tests) that by the age of five, she had a large amount of kidney stones in her right kidney. She endured an 8 hour robotic surgery in January to have them removed, then another procedure a month later in which she was asleep for 2 hours to remove the stent they had placed and to check to make sure every stone was indeed gone (they were).

A month or so later, during an ultrasound follow up visit, we were told she had hydronephrosis of that same kidney, which may or may not have occurred because of the stone removal surgery. However, two of the doctors had also been questioning why that kidney ended up with so much stone and believed that she had an intermittent blockage and/or kink in the ureter. So we went for more tests. The MAG-3 (in which she was put to sleep) showed that the right kidney was at 14% function, while the left was at 86%. We also learned from another test that she had reflux on that same side. Therefore, another robotic surgery was necessary, to remove the part of the ureter that showed the blockage. She had this surgery, which was about 6 hours long, on July 6.

A month later, we went in for another “magical sleep” so that she could have the stent removed which was in place after the surgery in July. While talking to us afterwards, the doctor was optimistic, but very cautious, with her report– leading my very vivid imagination to imagine the worse (although hoping, in a very small degree, for a good outcome).

We got a call two days ago telling us that the doctor who performed Sarah’s surgeries had left the hospital to pursue a private practice and I was absolutely floored. We had formed an attachment to her and I never dreamed she would “vanish”. I almost cancelled the follow up appointment because I didn’t want to see a doctor that was unfamiliar with our case. There was an opening for next week with another doctor that we’ve seen many times before, but I was so anxious for the results of the appointment that I decided to go ahead with the unfamiliar Doctor.

It turned out for the best (God) because low and behold this Doctor had indeed been there for us–the very first time we had walked in the doors of the medical center with the “UTI” issues. Although I did not remember her, she remembered us. We had come full circle because this time, instead of passing us along to the Surgeon, she was able to give us much better news.

THE KIDNEY LOOKS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She wasn’t able to see all the images from radiology, (which was the first time she had this “glitch”), but with shining eyes she showed us the one image she had — and also shared with us the words from the Radiologist who had studied ALL the images, “It looks so much better”.

I spent the rest of yesterday exhausted from so many months of anxiety suddenly gone. Happily, tearfully, radiantly, thankfully, exhausted. After the appointment, Sarah and I went, as is our habit, straight to the gift shop and the cafeteria right there in the hospital. Then we went shopping at the mall where she selected things with sparkles and glitter on them. We held hands. I texted Rich, Mom, and Dave to give them the report, but I didn’t proclaim anything from the rooftops (so to speak) because the Doctor had said she would call me after she had seen the rest of the images, and depending on how she thought things looked we would be back in a month or three months.

She just called.

Everything looks great and we don’t have to go back for three months.

Everything really does look great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((Will Sarah get another kidney stone? Probably. She is definitely a “stone maker” but with the kidney draining properly she is more likely to pass them before they get to be a big huge problem like last year. She’s drinking a lot more and they also told us to give her an orange a day.))

Sarah was nothing but a bouncing bubbling little girl after her appointment. She’s only six but she knows happy news when she hears it.

I’ve been taking photos of these early fall days;

dsc_0376-1

shades of light pink and deep pink

The whiteness in the berry cluster in the middle is a spider’s nest….what a nice place to live.

dsc_0434-2

mushroom

dsc_0437-1

brown moccasins & wool socks

dsc_0456-1

the stream is low and shines like a mirror

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

another creature home; is your door surrounded by lovely green moss? I wish mine was!

orange rainbows on a dead log

food for the birds

chickadee on a sunflower

Perfect submission, all is at rest
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

this is my story
this is my song
praising my Savior
all the day long

“He who gives you the day
will also give you the things necessary for the day.”
Gregory of Nyssa

in my heart there rings a melody

Posted on September 8, 2016 by Shanda

(grandpa’s old barn)

The north wind brings forth rain,
and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Like cold water to a thirsty soul,
so is good news from a far country.

Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.

It is not good to eat too much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory.

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Proverbs 25:23-28

Good morning, friends, how in the world are you?

Imagine! God’s many numerous good things are all around us, oh to have the eyes to see them, really see them! Even on the “down” days we are going UP UP UP, on our way to glory land. Eternal life is NOW, it starts now, never to end……..as believers we have so much hope, it’s hard sometimes to keep our minds focused on the wonderful promises of God, but nevertheless they are there in the Bible, they are real and never changing. Isn’t it incredible to have security in an unchanging Father? He always loves us, always cares for us, always holds us in his mighty hands.

My parents have a nice pumpkin patch, we all visited it and “blessed the pumpkins” by giving them a nice pat, you can’t help but want to touch them because they have very smooth looking skins. I especially love the photo of son David using one as a pillow.

cousins

From a distance, the pumpkin patch. My prediction is that it will be even bigger next year.

Back at home now, Gentleman Gray is wondering where his friend Snickers is. Snickers has been missing for a week and we are all beginning to worry. They keep coming to me and asking about him, but so far there is no news, no letter, no message, no sign.

*sigh* I hate losing cats. My guess is that the smell of skunk was too much for him.

Speaking of which, the house is smelling much better. What a relief. (Now if the dryer would stop screeching….) Parker the dog is still smelly so he spends most of his day outdoors in the fresh air.

The garden is still producing tomatoes and my favorite way to eat them…….

……is generously placed on toasted & buttered Pepperidge Farm white bread, with salt and pepper (more pepper than salt). Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

dsc_2433-1

I also made a banana bread. (Grace’s favorite, turns out Michael likes it, too).

“I can see you!” I remarked to the amusing Grasshopper. He shifted and twitched. Being upside down is not a safe place to be if your legs are your number one escape mechanism.

Ah much better.

I looked & looked without touching and he never did jump away. I think he liked me, too, but most likely he was scared out of his wits.

These are a most wondrous scented wild flower.

I looked it up in my wildflowers book: nothing.
I looked it up online by googling CT wildflowers, yellow: nothing
I looked it up again online, using the name of what I thought it was, “morning primrose”: found it!

Its common names are: Evening Primrose (I was close), Evening Star, or Sundrop.

Wikipedia has a very interesting article about it here.

delightful. You can smell them before you even get close to them.

And then I decided to pick a pink bouquet.

“It isn’t what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart.” ~ Author Unknown

My heart.

Seth is holding the “tough guy ball” which looks JUST like a coffee bean, and is rewarded to a player after every practice. The player takes it home for the night and then returns it at the next practice.

Look how handsome he is. I tie his string and buckle his buckles and then bend down to double knot his cleats. He looks around as I fuss, ignoring me as I adoringly serve him. It is an honor for us both but only I am conscious of it.

We arrived at the field’s parking lot for practice and as he briskly took his helmet out of the back of the car, I closed the truck and turned to him to say goodbye, “Have a nice practice, Seth! Give me a kiss.” (the test–to see if he would kiss me in front of his friends, I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t. In fact, I was sure he would wouldn’t.)

Without hesitation, he came over close and gave me a quick, distracted kiss on the arm. (lip height). Like of course it was the most natural thing in the world to kiss mama before running off to football practice.

My heart.

**********

I have a song that Jesus gave me,
It was sent from heav’n above;
There never was a sweeter melody,
‘Tis a melody of love.

In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody with heaven’s harmony;
In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody of love.

~Elton Menno Roth~

you come too

Posted on August 18, 2016 by Shanda

Grace and I went on a four mile walk yesterday. I took my camera but determined not to take any photos.

So you see, the ones I took I really wanted to take.

The first photo was of a stack of boulders and rocks in someone’s front yard. I took the picture because it reminded me of something my brother Dave would do, and also because Grace said she saw a squirrel on top of it. Then we laughed because she wasn’t wearing her glasses (and they were only rocks).

28573abe-d423-4ebc-847f-5fc9f450be08_zpsf4sivucv

**butterfly**

After we passed the free books and took four of them away with us, Grace read me a great story by Ring Lardner titled “Haircut”, written in 1926. It’s best read aloud to someone you love, try it.

We passed several charming houses that we approved of.

We stopped at an old, old cemetery.

There was a stone in place for a woman who died at the age of 43, leaving behind 10 sons and 3 daughters.

Another one said, “Tho dead he yet speaketh” …206 years later he spoke to Grace and me with the message on his tombstone.

Lastly, a moist frog.

*****

I’m going out to clean the pasture spring:
I’ll only stop to rake the leaves away
(And wait to watch the water clear, I may):
I shan’t be gone long.—-You come too.

I’m going out to fetch the little calf
That’s standing by the mother.
It’s so young, It totters when she licks it with her tongue.
I sha’n’t be gone long—-You come too.

The Pasture, Robert Frost, 1912

just a little walk with caleb.

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Shanda

You may not realize this, but I have a son named Caleb. He is son #4.

I cannot imagine the family without our Caleb. He respects everyone; man, woman, child, and animal. He notices things; beautiful things. He not only holds my hand but it’s all his idea. He is 11 years old and likes to hug and lean against his mama, still, like a much younger child would. He knocks me off balance when he does because he’s such a very strong, solid boy. When he walks we can hear him stomp. When he jumps he lands with a thud. When he laughs the sun comes out. When he sleeps he buries his face in pillows. He tells the truth. He chews his nails off to the quick.

He and Ethan had cleanings this morning at the dentist in town. They both hate the dentist so I had to go along to give the poor babies love and moral support. Caleb had his teeth cleaned first and when he came back I asked him if he would go outside with me to stretch our legs while we waited for E. Even though he was all set to read about football he readily said yes.

I’m thankful for my son Caleb.

He’s a great kid. I can tease him, say no to him, lecture him, or love on him and he never complains. This summer he has listened to JR Tolkien audio books every night and he is currently reading several books, including The Hobbit. He goes to football practice every afternoon and during the day he plays with his siblings. He loves to play video games. He likes his things to be neat and organized and gets very upset when his siblings disturb his legos. He sneezes a lot so I give him Zyrtec in the morning and that helps. I think his favorite color is green. Sometimes when he is silly he makes a “buck-hack” sound like a chicken, which is super annoying. Seth does it now, too. Caleb is always asking to have friends over. He absolutely loves the family dog; Parker gets a lot of attention from his boy Caleb.

“YOU’VE MADE THIS DAY SPECIAL
JUST BY BEING YOU.
THERE’S NO ONE IN THE WORLD
QUITE LIKE YOU, AND
I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.”

We discovered a nice stream by the dentist office. It was shady under the trees and the water was warm. We studied the sumac plant (first pic), admired a tall mushroom, sank our feet in soft moss, and showed each other our best jumping skills.

It was much better than sitting in a waiting room.

in the garden

Posted on August 9, 2016 by Shanda

(listen while you visit?)

In my mom and dad’s garden,

13880375_10154229348666343_1129675865774942449_n

it’s currently pickle-making time, so they are harvesting cucumbers and garlic.

My nephew and niece,

my sister in law, and the new puppy, everybody loves the garden.

Inside the house there are sparkling clean jars, the freshest garlic,

and three generations in the kitchen making pickles!

There was a beautiful sunset at my parents house at the end of a satisfying day.

*****

My brother and mother sent me these photos. I haven’t been “back home” yet this summer, but with the constant texting it’s almost as good as being there.

Here is a lovely video that Mom sent to me one morning in the springtime, which instantly made me happy and homesick at the same time. I grew up here.

m221389931

13882528_10154229388996343_8318213298591312153_n

13921017_10154229386006343_6681199134670440233_n

10 large cucumbers
4 sprigs of dill
6 cloves of garlic
6 cups of water
1 1/4 cup vinegar
1/3 cup salt
1/2 cup sugar

Wash and sterilize 4 (1 quart) jars. Boil water, vinegar, salt, and sugar and let cool. Cut cucumbers into quarters. Add 1 sprig of dill, and 1 1/2 cloves of garlic per jar. Pack jars with cucumbers, pour liquid over cucumbers. Cover and refrigerate at least 48 hours.

13887070_10154229391141343_2641968050688296322_n

I spy with my little eye lots of jars of pickles!

fly

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Shanda

I shut my laptop after the last blog post,
took a shower, got dressed,
went back on the porch……..

…..and discovered a new monarch butterfly. Our first to emerge, out of the four caterpillars we had collected.

I sat and watched it for a long time, thinking about how much life is growth, so much growing and changing. Butterflies only get to do it once, we get to do it over and over. There are dark times when we are in our little stuffy cocoons, lonely, maybe perfectly willing to be all alone, needing *something* but not really knowing what it is. It is a waiting time. Then comes the “break through”. Suddenly we have had enough of cocoon time and find that it’s time to get out from the covers, get out of bed, get out of our own minds, oh how it hurts to start breaking down walls but it feels so good at the same time….new air, new sights, drying wings…….freedom.

After the struggle to emerge comes the strengthening time…….those who are waiting for us almost lose their patience, we ourselves often lose heart, forget that God does indeed have a purpose for everything, but our Father knows, He understands, His children are ready (not in our time, not in their time) but in HIS TIME……..

He has made everything beautiful
in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Every thing is as God made it; not as it appears to us. We have the world so much in our hearts, are so taken up with thoughts and cares of worldly things, that we have neither time nor spirit to see God’s hand in them. The world has not only gained possession of the heart, but has formed thoughts against the beauty of God’s works. We mistake if we think we were born for ourselves; no, it is our business to do good in this life, which is short and uncertain; we have but little time to be doing good, therefore we should redeem time. Satisfaction with Divine Providence, is having faith that all things work together for good to them that love him. God doeth all, that men should fear before him. The world, as it has been, is, and will be. There has no change befallen us, nor has any temptation by it taken us, but such as is common to men.
Matthew Henry

When we are finally strong again.

We can enjoy life. We can fly.

F L Y

Yes, the family and I have been spending a lot of time by the aquarium, watching & waiting for the butterflies to hatch and fly away. Three of them have gone now, but the fourth seems to be stuck in the cocoon. We think maybe it died inside. We can see the wings through the (now clear) casing, but it should have come out a few days ago.

morning glory leaf

It’s been so fun to see my flower garden become a butterfly sanctuary AND a bird feeding station.

The most darling little goldfinches come to get a sunflower seed, but they are shy and at any hint of my eyes watching them they fly away making a chirping distress sound.

As we have morning glory vines twirling up the sunflowers, it makes for a very lovely photo opportunity. I had to take these photos from inside the house through the glass and screen doors……..

fledging

my darling (while mama sits on one end, oftentimes they will be on the other end playing with their little toys).

I find myself watching butterflies, birds, and children every where I turn.

Hosta flowers

*****

currently reading: Never Turn Your Back on an Angus Cow, by Dr. Jan Pol (good book, I love animal stories)

plans for today: Grace and I are going out with David. We are picking up her ring from Tiffany (left for cleaning) and then have to go to Target to get things for camp next week.

I just want you guys to know that I love you all and that you are so special. I’m thankful for the friends I meet and greet along the way. Friendship and connections of all kinds make life sweet.

look around and be distressed
look within and be depressed
look at Jesus and be at rest

eastern tiger swallowtail

Posted on July 20, 2016 by Shanda

“Lord, catch me off guard today.
Surprise me with some moment of beauty or pain
so that at least for the moment,
I may be startled into seeing that you are here
in your splendor,
always and everywhere,
barely hidden,
beneath, beyond,
within this life I breath.”

Frederick Beuchner

on the garden zinnias.

life is a continual feast

Posted on July 18, 2016 by Shanda

This morning I was in my pajama pants and tank top, my hair was pulled up in a very messy pony tail. I was making the children color pictures at the island while they waited for their breakfast. I was feeling rather full of myself as I expertly cut up their french toast and dribbled Trader Joe’s cherry pie filling over the top. “I have to admit,” I said happily, “I’m pretty awesome.” And guess what? Little ears were listening……..

“I’m pretty awesome, too.” said Sarah, promptly and agreeably.

amen.

These nature photos are from last week. We were searching for more monarch caterpillars. The first photo was of milkweed bugs and then this one is of a flowering bush which I have not identified. It has small, bell shaped baby pink blossoms.

very very very interesting brown moth. look at it’s eyes.

It was Sarah Joy’s first long walk after her surgery. She got tired, and dear Amy gave her a piggy back ride all the way back home.

We found wild black berries. They tasted sour and Seth loved them.

These baby birds are living in a nest on the gable of the chicken coop.

When I stare at this picture I can’t help but squeal from the cuteness. There is something about that pouting bird face and the other bird that doesn’t even know I’m there but I can see it’s little bottom and heels.

Last week was very very very very long. Rich was on a business trip from Monday to Thursday night, and then from Friday morning to Saturday night he was gone with Ethan to college registration. Come Saturday I just wanted to go someplace where I could sit and look at magazines without having the kids need me. So off we went to the playground, stopping for a big iced coffee on the way. (it was hot and muggy.)

As is typical, as soon as I got out of the house with my camera I still couldn’t focus on the magazines because the kids were all of a sudden adorable instead of exhausting.

Sometimes you just need a change of scenery and a little fun to brighten up a long week.