This morning I was in my pajama pants and tank top, my hair was pulled up in a very messy pony tail. I was making the children color pictures at the island while they waited for their breakfast. I was feeling rather full of myself as I expertly cut up their french toast and dribbled Trader Joe’s cherry pie filling over the top. “I have to admit,” I said happily, “I’m pretty awesome.” And guess what? Little ears were listening……..
“I’m pretty awesome, too.” said Sarah, promptly and agreeably.
amen.
These nature photos are from last week. We were searching for more monarch caterpillars. The first photo was of milkweed bugs and then this one is of a flowering bush which I have not identified. It has small, bell shaped baby pink blossoms.
very very very interesting brown moth. look at it’s eyes.
It was Sarah Joy’s first long walk after her surgery. She got tired, and dear Amy gave her a piggy back ride all the way back home.
We found wild black berries. They tasted sour and Seth loved them.
These baby birds are living in a nest on the gable of the chicken coop.
When I stare at this picture I can’t help but squeal from the cuteness. There is something about that pouting bird face and the other bird that doesn’t even know I’m there but I can see it’s little bottom and heels.
Last week was very very very very long. Rich was on a business trip from Monday to Thursday night, and then from Friday morning to Saturday night he was gone with Ethan to college registration. Come Saturday I just wanted to go someplace where I could sit and look at magazines without having the kids need me. So off we went to the playground, stopping for a big iced coffee on the way. (it was hot and muggy.)
As is typical, as soon as I got out of the house with my camera I still couldn’t focus on the magazines because the kids were all of a sudden adorable instead of exhausting.
Sometimes you just need a change of scenery and a little fun to brighten up a long week.
This is a big deal for Sarah, she has conquered her fears at the playground. There were years when she wouldn’t ever take risks like this.
Seth, on the other hand, has been climbing before he could walk. (some of the pictures won’t show unless you click on them)…
“There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice.” ~J.Calvin
Sarah Joy had a check up yesterday with her surgeon. I hate to admit this but I did bribe her to be nice to the poor doctor. Ever since her first surgery, Sarah has had a very negative reaction to all the nurses and doctors. Dr. K, her main surgeon, has been so polite, kind, sweet, and loving to Sarah every step of the way and has felt Sarah’s dislike keenly, although she completely understood and did her best to reduce contact with her, keeping her conversations directed toward me and Rich instead. I bought Dr. K a necklace and had it wrapped up very prettily, with a bow. I gently explained to Sarah that she was going to bestow this lovely gift to her doctor with a smile and a hug, “OR ELSE YOU ARE GETTING NOTHING FROM THE GIFT SHOP after your appointment!!” “WHY do I have to give her a hug?” she cried. “Because it will be good for YOUR HEART to be kind!” I said, wisely, with a prayer that this would work.
Success! What a joy! She was more relaxed and talkative to the Doctor than she has ever been. She made Dr. K so happy with the necklace, but most especially with the smiles and conversation and hug.
Sarah was told that she was healing very well and could now do anything she wanted to do, as long as it was okay with her parents. We were given lollipops and then went skipping down the hall to the gift shop, where Sarah happily chose a 1.99 bracelet as a reward for her good attitude. The brothers were with us, too. Caleb chose Jolly Ranchers (making me remember an old xanga friend), and Seth chose a stuffed animal.
*****
When we got home, the only thing Sarah wanted to do with her renewed freedom was go wild-berry picking with her Mama. We walked up to the raspberry patch and picked big beautiful jewels of berries. When we came back home to put on bug spray, she saw that Seth had turned on a movie and decided to take a rest from berry picking because she wanted to watch the movie, too. (It was “Home”). I went in my room to relax and when her movie was over she came in, looked into my eyes, and said, “Are you ready for a berry-walk? Or do you still need to rest?” I looked at her and thought, “I’m not the one who just had surgery. If you don’t need any more rest, I don’t either.”
Off we went to pick BLUEBERRIES this time! The bushes in the woods are small, and low to the ground–nothing like my parent’s property covered in nice tall, fat and mature bushes. But we found “just enough” berries and the sun was at the golden hour…..making everything glow like magic. We found blueberries of all shades.
*****
This morning I woke up to my daughter right in front of my face, telling me it was time to wake up and make muffins. My mind was willing but my body felt leaden. I tossed and turned for a few minutes and then got out of the covers, not so much to make muffins, but because I was curious about how my monarch caterpillars were…….
I found Sarah waiting for me on the little couch and I kissed her face. Together we went into the kitchen to make the muffins she naturally knew we just had to use the berries in.
She sat on a stool to scoop out batter with an ice cream scoop.
She kept tasting the dough and saying “yummmmmmmm”.
I filled the regular sized muffin tin and soon they were baking in the oven and we called up the boys to have their breakfast.
*****
I ate a warm buttered muffin with a cup of coffee, perched on a stool in front of the aquarium which held a dangling caterpillar, two chrysalises, and a caterpillar.
I knew this caterpillar was very close to shedding it’s skin so I determined to wait and get it on video.
These two attached to a stick that I put in the aquarium. They were the compliant caterpillars, the other one was a rebel and escaped the whole set-up to attach to a iPhone charging cord.
When I saw what it had done, I draped the cord over the top of the tank. (I had blocked half the top with a cutting board.)
I sat for a while watching the dangling caterpillar gently convulse. I knew it was almost time and called the children over. We were able to get the whole process on video.
As I sat, I couldn’t help but think about how astonishing God’s creation is. Why did he make these detailed, intricate creatures, and millions more beside? He is The Creator–Creators MUST CREATE. Just think of the things humans make and how we get “in the zone” as we sing, or draw,or sew, or garden. That urge to create came from Father-God, we are like Him, in a very small way, because He made us in His image. It is good and we enjoy it all.
So God created humans in his image. In the image of God he created them. He created them male and female. Genesis 1:27
He brought the most mind-boggling things into existence—plants, humans, animals, all of these things reproduce and continue the cycle of life. Self-sustaining creation. A-MAZE-ING. Overwhelming. No one is like Him, but we have a touch of the divine within us, allowing us to enjoy life, and all parts of living.
No one is like you, LORD; you are great, and your name is mighty in power. Jeremiah 10:6
“If you have been afraid that your love of beautiful flowers and the flickering flame of the candle is somehow less spiritual than living in starkness and ugliness, remember that He who created you to be creative gave you the things with which to make beauty and the sensitivity to appreciate and respond to His creation.” Edith Schaeffer
My friend Amy and I went up to the dam to try to find more caterpillars (there is lots of milkweed growing there) but we didn’t see anything but red milkweed bugs.
Then, this evening I sent the boys outside to play and David found two more!
He was the special person who found the first caterpillar yesterday.
I told him he had the eyes to see them.
I texted Amy right away. I told her I had triplets.
They live by the sink. We all stop to look at them frequently.
Better than any argument is to rise at dawn and pick dew-wet red berries in a cup.
~Wendell Berry
I gathered a little lunch snack for Sarah and she ate every single thing but the lettuce. And then she wanted more peas so she went outside herself and picked them. She started a project of opening them up to only get the peas out (these are sugar snaps and we generally eat them whole) and she worked until she had about 1/8 of a cup. Then she ate them. Parker the dog ate the cases.
I stayed home from church with her while Rich went with everyone else. I cleaned the kitchen and living room and vacuumed while she rested and kept herself hydrated. I’m very pleased with how she is doing today.
At one point she said, “I’m so sad because I got that beautiful necklace at the hospital and I never got to wear it. It’s lost.” And I said, “No it’s not lost, it’s around here someplace.” “Yes it is! Lost is when you don’t know where something is so… it’s lost.” Then I agreed she was right. Five minutes later she found it.
As soon as they came home from church Ethan took a nap.
Rest on a Sunday. It’s only natural.
I went on the porch to read but I didn’t read for very long because it is a very moth and butterfly sort of day. Quite distracting. I went in the house to get my camera and Dave walked around with me to see what we could see.
There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me. ~Thomas Jefferson
The most exciting thing David found was a monarch caterpillar. We look for them yearly but have not seen any for several years!!
It was rewarding, in a way, because I never ever weed out milkweed in the hopes that we will once again get caterpillars. The milkweed this one was on grew right through the middle of my lilac bush by the kitchen window. Can you see the caterpillar? David spotted it right away. We couldn’t believe how fat it was.
We put it, along with plenty of milkweed, in an old empty aquarium. We will observe it while it forms into a beautiful butterfly….stay tuned!
Naturally, I wanted to go up to the field to try to find more but none of the children would go with me. I went out to the garage, where my husband was waxing his car, and asked him to go along. He agreed to go as soon as he was done with the left fender.
I waited for him by the stream.
We picked some wild blueberries (1/4 of a cup) and I put them in my pocket.
We talked.
We were attacked by mosquitoes.
We saw birds and butterflies.
MOST EXCITINGLY!!!!!!!!!!!
An Indigo Bunting!
what a heavenly blue
It’s mate was there, too, and they were making all kinds of noise to threaten us so we believe their nest was nearby.
God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Martin Luther
2005 was an eventful year for our family because that was the year I gave birth to offspring number five; a beautiful little son whom we named Caleb James. Oh how we loved having babies and those sweet days of holding a newborn in our arms.
Caleb been so excited about his birthday (for months) and we were very pleased//relieved that we were able to celebrate it the way he wished; with some of his favorite friends. They had a nerf gun fight, went for a walk, played football, went swimming, and played video games.
Caleb has the best mother in the world, if I do say so myself, because I made him a homemade snake cake today even though I was exhausted, worried and grumpy (de-stressing from Sarah’s surgery).
Or, even more likely, this is God’s perfect timing because He knew that nothing would cheer me up more than making a snake cake for one of the best boys I know. It turned out so well I just had to smile………smile at a cute snake.
It’s body was made out of a sour cream chocolate cake, baked it in a bundt pan. After it cooled, I cut it in half and turned one half to the edge of the other half to make an “S”.
Then I gave it a skin of homemade butter cream frosting, dyed green.
The yellow spots are m-n-ms and skittles, which was a nice surprise for the kids as they never knew which one they would eat next.
The eyes were made with one marshmallow, cut in half and striped with a toothpick dipped in black food coloring (the book said to buy a tube of black frosting but this worked).
Mr. Snake’s tongue was made with a fruit-by-the-foot, trimmed at the end to be forked.
We had to call the boys up out of the pond in order to have the cake, which is why Caleb has a towel around his waist. (summertime birthdays are the best.)
As an ode to the good ol’ days, I scattered some of Caleb’s beloved Thomas the tank Engine trains down the table as decoration. All the boys had fun picking them up with their forks attaching to the trains’ magnetic ends.
I served out the cake and Rich served out the ice cream.
Happy Birthday, Caleb!
*****
PS, Sarah is continuing to do very well, although I had some cause for worry this morning. After I talked to the doctor, had a good cry, and baked a cake I felt better. (She was never worried in the least). She’s happy.
Sarah’s first day back at home after surgery has been a gift. Things like this always make me appreciate the little things in life even more.
When we arrived home, I noticed differences right away.
The morning glories are inches further up the sunflowers.
Gypsy moths are flying around.
My gardens and hanging baskets are dry and need watering.
Raspberries are ripening fast.
The grass was longer.
I know my house, my land, my gardens. My roots go way down.
How to heal a little girl; with snuggles, stuffed animals that fit just right in a small hand, books, back scratches, ginger ale, movies, smiles, brothers and a sister, games, rides in a wheelchair, naps, words of encouragement, leaving the hospital as soon as possible, pain medicine, a nest on the couch, getting clean with a shower, soap, and combed out hair, tempting foods like fresh garden peas and wild raspberries picked by a loving sister and mama.
flowers.
When your big brother comes in the house with a visitor.
And when your mom and dad leave, just for an hour, to go to a library used book sale.
About a week or so ago, while my poor brother Dave was in pain passing a kidney stone, he read my blog post about how and why I was a fan of Rosemary Wells.
And guess what that thoughtful guy did without me knowing a thing about it?
He emailed Rosemary Wells with the blog link and she read it!
She emailed him back and said thank you for the once in a lifetime review and asked for my address so she could mail my family the newest books.
They came today!
I love how she wrote “For Shanda’s family”.
I will treasure these books for the rest of my life.
I already read them out loud to Sarah, of course. She liked the Warthog’s wedding story best because it had an *ibunny phone* all throughout out it, with a flap she could lift in order to see a map. The green dot on the map was where Max and Ruby were in the hotel as they searched for a lost wedding ring.
Anyway, aren’t brothers the best? I’m so thankful to have three of them and Dave is now my absolute favorite because of what he did. (((LOL) only teasing, Nate and Isaac!)))
To think, she saw my post!! And sent me two hardcover books!
It was just the uplifting mail we needed today because………..
…….tomorrow little Sarah bird is going back to the hospital for another surgery.
This one is to fix a “congenital obstruction of the ureteropelvic junction.” The surgery is a “robotic UPJ/pyelopasty”.
It is expected to last 6 hours, or more.
This obstruction is what the doctors believe caused the large amount of kidney stones which they removed in January. She also has reflux but they told me that as a rule they fix the obstruction first…..so…..ugh. (hoping we are reaching the end of this adventure but I know we have a few months and procedures left)
Gratefully, Sarah is happy. We are all acting like it’s an exciting sleepover with Mama. She knows that she will get to watch movies in the middle of the night if she can’t sleep. And during the day she can go to an art class and the family resource center and the toy room, so in the knowledge of these joyful prospects, we conveniently forget about the surgery part. And besides, she’s asleep the whole time and it doesn’t hurt when you’re asleep! (that’s what we overheard her telling Seth in a very authoritative voice).
We have our bags packed.
The best part for me is that Rich has the entire week off and will be with us the whole time with no pressures to get back to work.
little bouquets by the kitchen sink
hugging the best cat ever
a soft sweet neck and little whisps of blond
a pair of cardinals that I photographed this morning from the porch, while it was raining
Today I saw a strange little bird,
and I said to the strange little bird,
“Would you like some berries?”
and she said yes.
“Where did you find these yummy berries?” she chirped. “I want some more!”
“I know right where they are,” I said, “Can I show you?”
so off we flew.
She flapped her wings and sang a song for me.
But mostly she just picked berries.
little birds love wild berries of all kinds
“I know where some more are, do you want me to show you?”
And she said, “Yes” again.
We walked this time.
We walked up the road together.
Birds like berries.
Cats like birds.
She ate all the berries, lickety split, making a “yum yum” sound.
I saved mine in my shirt.
Do you know how to do that?
You fold up the bottom of your shirt, and it makes a pocket!
Back home we went.
She saw the garden.
“Okay. I’m going to pick some peas now,” said my sweet bird.
(she had blue feathers, with silver stars)
“I’m going to do something that starts with a P, too!” I replied. “I am going to make Pancakes.”
“Raspberry ones!, with the berries we picked.”
I watched the little bird all alone in the garden, picking peas.
I watched her through the window, briefly.
Then I set to work.
“What’s in your shirt, acorns?” her brother asked.
“No, it’s berries.”
I made raspberry pancakes for a snack.
She ate one, her brother ate two.
They ate them with lots of butter and syrup on top.
I think we might dream of berries and pancakes tonight.
Today has been a blessedly relaxing day after some very fun adventures. I’ve spent the day slowly puttering around the kitchen, cleaning it up, washing down the island with Method wood cleaner, wiping the granite counters, and washing the glass on the doors. I’ve done about 6 loads of laundry and also buzzed to the grocery store just to get milk and things for dinner. We are having corn chip salad tonight, using lettuce from the garden.
Yes, it’s been a quiet sort of day. I even took a nap on the couch, only waking up *about 17 times because of the children coming in and out of the house slamming the door each time*.
Something wonderful has happened to me. There has always been a deep down hankering to walk and hike and I’ve finally met a friend to give me that extra push and camaraderie to do it. Amy, (Ethan’s girlfriend’s mom) is an experienced mountain climber, ice climber, and hiker. She and her family are also our neighbors, and since our kids (obviously) get along so well, she and I have also been visiting and getting to know each other, too.
When school was finishing up for the year, I mentioned to Amy that we should plan a hike together. We ended up deciding on Mount Monadnock in New Hampshire. Amy went to college near the mountain and had hiked it many times.
Mount Monadnock is known as one of the most hiked mountains in the world and was admired and visited in the past by such well known men as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. (both of whom I love to quote here on my blog).
Amy and I took along our teenagers. She brought her daughters and niece and I brought David, Ethan, and Grace. (Thank you Michael P for babysitting my youngsters so I could go on this trip.) We were able to take one vehicle — I drove there and she drove back. Everyone in our party each carried their own bag with water and food and we all put sun screen and bug spray on before our ascent up the mountain.
We followed the white dot trail up, which is 2.2 miles. It is the shortest but steepest trail up the mountain and indeed, about half way up I made up my mind to quit. My heart was thudding, I felt sick, my legs were giving out, I was shaking, and I simply decided I could not do it. The kids kept going while Amy stood by me wondering what to do….I begged her to go, trying to hold in the sobs, and told her I would text her and keep in touch so she knew I was okay. So after much begging on my part, she went to catch up with the kids.
I leaned back on a tree and propped my feet up on another tree and slowly drank water. I ate a Cliff bar and rested. I saw several other people hike past me, one of which was an overweight shirtless man. I thought “good grief, if he can do this I should be able to as well.” After 10 minutes or so, I turned back to look up the trail again just in time to see Amy returning. Alas, I had forgotten that I had let David use my phone to take a photo and when she texted me “Are you okay?” and didn’t get a reply, she was worried and came back. “I couldn’t leave you! You just don’t leave people behind on a trail.” It was quite touching to have her come back to me, actually I had tears in my eyes at times thinking about it.
I told her I thought I would be okay to continue since I had rested, so happily we set off again.
The trail was nothing but rocks. I mean, I have to laugh now.
Would I ever go back again? YES!!!
In fact, this mountain keeps returning to my thoughts over and over. I think I fell in love.
Amy and I were both so proud of these kids. They were happy and enjoyed the hike, which meant we were happy, too.
“Look to the north where Grand Monadnock’s height Enchains the fancy, and rewards the sight; Such rock-ribb’d hills our own New-England gave To mould her sons as rugged and as brave. Ancient Monadnock! Silent pine-girt hill, Whose majesty could move a Whittier’s quill; Whose distant brow the humbler pen excites; Whose purpled slope the raptur’d gaze invites; Stand thou! Great Sentinel, though nations fall – In thee New-England triumphs over all!”
H.P. Lovecraft
If you squint and look at the middle of the photo, you can see the little lovebirds, Ethan and Tessa.
The children were most often ahead of their Mothers.
And then in the midst of the Hallelujah chorus playing in my mind, we arrived at the very top! It was windy and there were lots of people there already. We sat and ate some food and then enjoyed the 3165′ elevation and 360 degree views.
David was the best mountain climber among us….hopping and leaping up and down very nimbly. He smiled a lot. Rather than slowing him down, hiking seemed to give him more energy. However, he did fall asleep on the way back home.
mother/daughter love on the mountain tops
((so windy!)) but we were very joyful to be up high breathing in all the fresh air and soaking up the majesty of God’s country. Grace was even amazed to find our old familiar friends *toad tadpoles* in a pool of water.
((mine and Amy’s packs))
The trail back down was (white cross trail) just as difficult as the trail going up. By the time we reached the bottom, our knees were rather shaky.
The feeling of accomplishment was incredible.
The soreness of my muscles even today is also incredible.
As soon as we left the mountain, we headed straight for a refreshing ice cream place right there in Jaffrey, NH.
We had a combination graduation party this past Saturday with two of Ethan’s best friends. It worked out very nicely. The other moms helped out so much and it felt good to do a party that our boys wanted. We supplied plenty of food and drinks and the teenagers spent time together (all day and all night).
We held the party at my house and opened up the garage to serve the food. We had a pig roast with pulled pork and hamburgers and hot dogs.
This is a photo of most of the teen boys who were at the party. People sat outside on the patio and porch to eat their lunch. My friend Kathy and I sat on a blanket in the shade with our girls.
We kept all the desserts inside the house in our air conditioned dining room. (It was a hot day!) There was strawberry cheese cake, cookies (on a fiesta three tiered tray!!), homemade pie, brownies, and chocolate chip bars.
We also had special a cake for these fine young High School men. The guests of honor: Ethan, Zachary, and Caleb.
Ethan will be going away to college (more about that on another day), Zach will be attending a college closer to home that he can commute to, and Caleb is going into the Coast Guard. Please pray for these boys! This stage of life is so exciting and we look forward to seeing what they do in the future.
I took this photo because these boys were leaving to attend TWO more graduation parties!
Zachary’s family helped host the party and did a lot of thoughtful things to make sure it was a good day for the boys. Chris and Caroline are dear friends of ours and are like second parents to Jacob and Ethan.
Caleb’s mom made delicious baked beans, potato salad, and brought decorations, too. As you may know, Grace is dating Caleb and the family has been very welcoming to her. It’s been a joy to get to know them.
Grace (in the middle) with life long friends Tristen and Kaitlyn.
How many teenagers can fit in a canoe?
I took this photo of Zachary’s mom talking with Tristen and Kaitlyn. Tristen actually went to Kindergarten with Zach and Ethan and also graduated from High School this summer.
Ethan’s Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) have done so much to encourage him as he grows up. They drove all the way from NY to attend Ethan’s party.
On a hot day it was nice for the kids to be able to cool off in the pond.
I was especially thankful that my friend Kathy came with her kids. We have been friends through these years as we have been busy raising our families and she came right on time to the party and stayed all day long, even helping us with clean up. I love her so much…her presence was like a gift to me on this very busy day!
And we are raising our youngest girls to love each other, too.
Such happy and glorious days to be a mom.
“Let all that I am praise the Lord. I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.” Psalm 146:1
Good to be Home 