the backpack

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Shanda

I’ve been enjoying the gardens this spring, more than I ever have. I think it’s because for the first time in almost 2o years I don’t have any children younger than five years old. Although with Seth in my life it is still questionable whether I should turn my back on him…for the most part the children can be trusted to play while I lose myself in the garden for brief periods of time.

I want to fill the house with vases of lilacs.

This is six year old Seth in the stream, peering into the pipe that allows the water to run under the road near our house. He was looking for snake skin. It is common knowledge to the boys that the local snakes use these pipes to pull dead skins off themselves. He counted six of them but after reaching one, he would not get the rest because he also saw a spider.

This morning Seth had a hard time waking up and getting motivated for a day of Kindergarten. He tried the typical “I don’t feel good” but I wasn’t falling for it. I put together his backpack and was quite pleased that I made him a nice lunch and remembered to put the strawberries in his bag for tomorrow’s event. I hung his bag on the doorknob right where he could grab it on his way to the bus. 20 minutes later the bus came…..and what in the??? no backpack to be found–was I going crazy?….I started running around the kitchen as the bus sat and waited. “WHERE is your backpack?” “I don’t know!” “I’ll bring it to you when I find it!” Seth looked at me in shock when I (GENTLY) pushed him out the door. He couldn’t believe that he had to go to school without it. It took some persuading to get him on the bus.

I found the backpack LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM.

I had to drive it to school.

When he gets home I am going to have to talk to him about ~~problem solving, creative thinking~~, telling the truth, responsibility, and the fact that the little trust I had in him is now damaged.

Anyway, back to the snakes. After pocketing the one snake skin that he was able to reach from the pipe, and the two of us talking a lot about how a snake takes it’s skin off like that and whether humans also shed skin (hard to explain), we entered the field not far from our house. I was on a quest to see if the wild rose bush was in bloom.

The wild rose bush was neatly clipped off at the end of each branch (deer?) with no buds to be seen on it (so disappointing) but we did find some wild strawberries.

Little ruby treasures.

There was spit everywhere…..inside of the spit there are little spit bugs to be found…

….they look like this.

water reflections in our pond

the daisies are in bloom

There was a nest was nearby and he did his best to keep me away from it by constant chirping.

This morning I have a cold, Sarah is coughing up a storm, and Ethan is home from school feeling wretched. The entire outdoors is in gloomy suspended animation as we wait and wonder if it will rain. A cool breeze blows through now and then, causing the wind chimes to flutter and play it’s notes.

“He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” Psalm 107:9

{this moment}

Posted on June 5, 2015 by Shanda

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed

Posted on June 4, 2015 by Shanda

“When Victor Hugo was more than eighty years old, he expressed his faith in this beautiful way:

‘Within my soul I feel the evidence of my future life. I am like a forest that has been cut down more than once, yet the new growth has more life than ever. I am always rising toward the sky, with the sun shining down on my head. The earth provides abundant sap for me but heaven lights my way to worlds unknown.

“People say the soul is nothing but the effect of our bodily powers at work. If that were true, then why is my soul becoming brighter as my body begins to fail? Winter may be filling my head, but an eternal spring rises from my heart. At this late hour of my life, I smell the fragrance of lilacs, violets, and roses, just as I did when I was twenty. And the closer I come to the end of my journey, the more clearly I hear the immortal symphonies of eternal worlds inviting me to come. It is awe-inspiring yet profoundly simple.'”

From Streams in the Desert, by L.B Cowman

“This is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” 2 Corinthians 4:16

meatloaf and a book

Posted on June 3, 2015 by Shanda

I made a new recipe last night from the Saving Dinner cookbook and it was really good.

I doubled the recipe and we ate one whole meatloaf, plus a quarter of the 2nd. The boiled potatoes weren’t a big hit but I will be making a small batch of Aunt Colleen’s fabulous potato salad with the leftovers. I peeled and sliced dark orange organic carrots for a side dish, too.

M A K E M I N E M E A T L O A F

1 teaspoon chili powder
salt and pepper, to taste
1 pound extra-lean ground beef
4 ounces corn kernels, drained and chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1/2 cup soft bread crumbs
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1/4 cup green pepper, chopped
1/3 cup barbecue sauce
Salsa

Preheat oven to 350.

Sprinkle chili powder, salt, and pepper over ground beef. Add corn, onion, bread crumbs, eggs, bell pepper, and barbecue save, mixing thoroughly. Using your hands, shape beef mixture into blobby loaf and place it on a rack in a shallow roasting pan (so it doesn’t swim in grease). Bake for 1 1/2 hours or until cooked through. Cut loaf into slices and spoon salsa over each serving.

NOTE* I used extra lean beef so I did the traditional method of baking in a loaf pan. I let the children use their own topping; ketchup, BBQ sauce, or salsa.

The timing may be a little off, but I am currently reading this book and am enjoying it very much. Enough that I’ll probably read it again in February.

thankful

Posted on June 2, 2015 by Shanda

“….but encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today….” Hebrews 3:13

Over the last two days we have had four inches of rain. This is good news considering the lawn was already turning brown and it’s only June 2. It’s been so nice not to have to carry water to my flowers.

I’m sharing miscellaneous photos today, like the one of Grace’s rabbit, who was allowed to explore the outdoors for the first time a few weeks ago, with Grace nearby, keeping a sharp look out.

I’ve been turning over lots of logs as we walk in the woods…we find lots of friendly little woodland creatures, mostly the large beetle many legged kinds, but sometimes we get to say hi to a lizard or two, they have the loveliest earthy homes. So cozy. And then I gently turn the logs back over for them.

All the women in my family love wild lady slippers.

water balloon fight on a very hot day

Rich was on a business trip last week and I was at one of many little league games. I watched the games and kept a casual eye on Seth and Sarah but at one point I couldn’t locate Seth. I walked all over the place trying to find him. I finally asked Dave, who was in the dugout at the time, if he had seen him…..and yes, it turned out he was up in the score box hanging out with the scorekeeper. He’s wearing the bright green neon shirt in the picture.

Much to my dismay, Mr.R, our neighbor whom Jacob works for, gave the boys a HUGE old TV to play with. They took it apart this weekend and it was nice, after all, to see them busily doing a project. There are now baggies of copper wire and what-not in my cupboard, and they very neatly put the pieces they didn’t want into the garbage.

With Rich in my line of vision, and the three youngest in the pond, it was hard to concentrate on my book.

Then the rest of the children marched by, on their way to what they call “the murder scene” far away in the woods…..Jacob, Emily, Grace, Zac, Ethan, and Dave.

The new chickies are growing nicely. They are now in the coop with the seven hens, which makes for a slight difficulty as I am very protective of the chicks and keep them shut in the coop tightly (all sorts of creatures love tender chick meat). I go down in the morning to let the older chickens out to roam around. Therefore, the hens can’t get back in as usual and have no where to lay their eggs and I don’t know what they are doing with them.

Snickers smiling on the front steps.

The late-bloom lilacs are blooming. They smell divine. I have a bouquet of them in the kitchen.

Emily gave Sarah presents for her birthday.

Time for Birthday Cake! Will Parker the dog get some? He looks so sad.

Five candles

We gave Sarah a scooter for her birthday and she loves it.

She loves the little knee and elbow pads, and the little gloves. We bought her a helmet, too, but when we went to put it on her we realized it had a crack in it already so we have to take it back.

She took her scooter to David’s late game on Saturday night. It was great fun watching her go all over the place on it. The wheels light up as they turn, so it was especially exciting for her as it got darker outside.

“Let us fix our eyes

on Jesus,

the author and perfecter of our faith.”

Hebrews 12:2

There is so much to be thankful for, especially the holy Spirit of God within our hearts, turning our dissatisfaction to contentment, our bitterness into love, our “poor me” attitudes into confidence and joy. He gets all the glory forever and ever. He makes all the difference..anything and everything that is beautiful is because of HIM alone.

You are loved.

i have a cheetah for a daughter. today is her birthday.

Posted on May 30, 2015 by Shanda

Sarah has been pretending to be a couple of different animals lately.

First she was a dog named Princess and I was her mother and our dog, Parker, was her father.

(She announces these things to me and then gets irritated when I can’t remember her name.)

Next it was, “Mom, I’m your cheetah and my name is Star.”

This last one has been going on for several days, I’m getting kind of used to her name being Star now.

I love how she naturally includes me in her land of make-believe, always. Always her mother.

We took the kids out to dinner last night and then Rich wanted to go in the Apple store so I went into Gap Kids and came across the perfect shirt for my cheetah daughter named Star.

Isn’t she beautiful? Today is her birthday and now she is five years old.

The family baby is five!

She also likes unicorns and tigers.

{this moment}

Posted on May 29, 2015 by Shanda

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

yesterday, when the braces were removed

how sarah got her bath

Posted on May 27, 2015 by Shanda

I can’t sleep now. Sarah’s taking a bath.

The weekend was full of ups and one very downish down.

First was the prom for Jacob and Ethan.

Then was a rare and lovely overnight visit from Rich’s Dad and step mom. We went for walks, we had a campfire with hotdogs and marshmallows, we planted a family tree together, we went to the diner for breakfast. We skipped church so we could soak up every minute and then waved goodbye as they drove slowly away on Sunday afternoon.

Monday morning I found out that the night before our dear Billy-Cat had been hit and killed in the road. I went outside to where Jacob had lovingly put him and stroked his beautiful fur. When I saw the ants I stumbled into the house. Rich gathered me into his lap and held me as I sobbed.

We buried him where he lay and put a nice rock at the top for Jacob to paint Billy’s name on. The children all grieved in their own way and losing our cat cast a melancholy mood on the whole day.

Later that morning we took them downtown for the Memorial Day parade. Grace marched as a music student, David and Caleb, who looked like typical American Little League boys….fresh and energetic, marched with their baseball teams.

Sarah and Seth were so surprised when the candy started being thrown right at them by the parade marchers.

I wore sunglasses to hide the tears…tears for my cat, tears for loss, tears for all the nice people of our town who marched by us, throwing candy, the ones who serve us, the ones representing the sacrifices of the past.

Yesterday Rich left for work and I am home alone carrying the load of the family, not in my own strength, but by the grace of God. Ethan had a game last night, Jacob threw a PR in Javelin during a big meet and won forth place despite an empty stomach, Seth had his very first concert performance, we were home and in bed later than usual.

This morning I got the kids to school, carried water to my plants, loaded the dishwasher.

There is a homemade card on the counter that Seth brought home, which is propped up against a vase of flowers. In Kindergarten handwriting are the words, “I’m sorry Billy Cat died.” It’s bothering all of us that it is there.

I’m tired. Deep, deep tired. I made a list of things that must be done today. David has an orthodontist appointment at 1:30. Ethan has a home game at 3:30 and it’s a big one so I need to be there. David and Caleb need to be at their field by 5:30 and Jacob has to be at driving school at 6:15. Grace is being inducted into the Thespian Society at 6. I will do the best I can for my children….in the meantime….it’s only 9:30 in the morning……and I’m sleepy and don’t want to move.

Sarah took a break from playing and came to stand by me half an hour ago. I was half asleep, arms and legs limp as I cuddled into the couch cushions. She was trying to get me to turn on a movie. When that didn’t work, she leaned in close and said, “Mom. God said something to me last night.”

I perked up slightly. These were the words of God. I opened my eyes, ready to receive them.

“He told me that in the morning I needed to take a bath.”

I roused myself.

“Well, you had better obey.”

This is how Sarah got her bath this morning and how I have come to sit crossed legged on the floor of the bathroom to write this little story of living….

Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and forevermore! Psalm 113:2

O how He loves you and me, O how he loves you and me,
He gave His life, what more could He give?
O how He loves you, O how He loves me,
O how he loves you and me.

“We planted a tree and it grew up,

While it reached for the sky and the sun. . . .” Diane Muldrow

“I used to take every new day for granted. Now I realize that each new day is a gift of God’s grace; and it is this day I need to focus on. It is full of possibilities – not just responsibilities – for relationships and for surprises.”

– R. Jack Hansen and Jerry P. Haas

Jacob and Ethan attend the prom

Posted on May 26, 2015 by Shanda

It’s the season for

pinxter bushes in bloom, (Seth and I went for a walk yesterday and brought back some for a vase)

lady slippers, (Joanna sent me a picture)

baltimore orioles, (I saw one this weekend, finally)

and the P R O M…….

Just a few short years ago (October, 2006 to be exact) Jacob and Ethan looked like this::

On Friday……..they looked like this (in the same location- the rock they were sitting on is on the far right of the picture):::

Of course I had to take a ton of pictures of them looking sharp in their tuxes. They looked quite handsome, my mama heart was just bursting with pride.

These two boys are one grade apart at school. Jacob is Senior and Ethan is a Junior. Jacob’s girlfriend is in Ethan’s grade and she invited Jacob to Jr.Prom, which is how the two boys were both attending together.

They are only 14 months apart and very close. They have done everything together, every step of the way, except now Jacob has entered the land of romantic love, leaving Ethan rolling his eyes and getting used to Jacob spending every spare minute with Emily.

Jacob

Ethan, wearing his class ring.

Me, with E

Me with Jacob

I love this one of the boys with their Dad.

Rich took this one with his phone, it’s quite terrible quality, but great because I’m with my boys.

They were using the windows as mirrors. They were feeling mighty good about their looks.

Emily’s beautiful corsage was made by a florist in town.

After I took the pictures in the driveway of our house, Emily’s mom came and picked up Ethan and Jacob. Grace was with Emily and some other girls, helping them to get ready. Emily’s mom picked up the girls, too, while Rich and I drove to the Gazebo to meet them. The Gazebo is the traditional place for the students to take pictures before traveling on to the prom venue.

We found Ethan first, and Grace jumped in for a photo with her dear brother.

They looked so stiff and formal I requested that he put his arm around his sister.

And now I just sit and stare at this picture which is probably one of my all time favorites. Grace is one step down in age from Ethan. They are a little less than 2 years apart but Grace is a Sophomore in High School because she started school when she was 4.

And then we saw Jacob walking toward us with his beautiful date……

Emily was so excited, she wanted a picture with everyone.

Here she is with Sarah:

With Caleb:

with Ethan:

with her Mom:

with me:

I’m not going to post the one with Seth because it ended up too bright. And there is no picture with David because he ran and hid.

Here is the one with Rich and Grace:

I kinda wish I had thought of taking a picture of the entire gazebo, but I did get some nice shots of them inside of it. Ethan did not take a date, but one of the girls from their group was also going along single so they did end up with an even number of friends to eat and dance with all night. Jacob and Emily, Ethan, Bridgette, Marissa and Tom.

I told them I wanted to see their pretty shoes and got quite a surprise….

Emily wasn’t wearing any.

pretty pretty eyes

Grace with the big brother she adores.

Seth hung around watching everyone, and Sarah kept seeing princesses everywhere.

Jacob, Ethan, and Emily walked away to mingle and get ready to go eat. Rich and I left with backward glances with the other children and headed home, happy to know that our dear boys were going to have a most wonderful time. The next morning we heard all about it and Ethan was still in a dancing mood.

The Lord is my strength and shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. Psalm 28:7

{this moment}

Posted on May 22, 2015 by Shanda

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.