Happy Friday! Rich arrived home early today and I’m sitting at the table while he reads his Lincoln book, which he bought in Washington D.C., right next to me.

I have a chicken simmering on the stove with onion, two bay leaves, & salt and pepper in chicken stock. Soon I will make chicken and homemade biscuits.

If Josephina sees this post, yes I’m blogging the photos I just texted you.

It’s been a nice day despite the darkness and rainstorms.

I went for a walk before the rains began. I listened to a podcast while soaking in everything around me, including this bright pink seed…….so pretty. It’s still in my coat pocket waiting to be glued into my nature journal.

early morning face happy to be outside in the fresh air

This is what a pinecone looks like after it has been in the road and frequently ran over with many tires. The children’s art teacher used them (representing Christmas trees) to glue on her homemade Christmas cards one year, and even decorated them with tiny sequins and glitter. So I always think of her when I see them. This is in my pocket, still, too.

I went and had my hair done with Amy today and took an “after” photo right before driving to Barnes and Noble……….

……where I saw this big book of inspiration (did not purchase because I already have three FLOW books for Paper Lovers which will take me at least 25 years to use up, so I took a picture of this because they are copying Flow’s idea and just had to show Jo……..I looked through it and it’s almost exactly the same concept.

“……Henry David Thoreau recognized the redemptive value of exposing oneself to harsh winter: ‘Take long walks in stormy weather or through deep snows in the fields and woods, if you would keep your spirits up. Deal with brute nature. Be cold and hungry and weary.”

Reading this almost had me going BACK outside for a walk this afternoon in the rain (I mean, I would have taken an umbrella……..)

Journal Prompts from a magazine

I left the bookstore with a coffee, a piece of quiche and a new paperback. I drove to home sweet home in the rain.

Whilst listening to uplifting Christian music on K-Love.

Cozied up with my new book (number 2 in the series)……

…..and a pretty kitty.

But, as luck would have it, and moms everywhere can relate, as soon as my eyes got tired and I started to think about taking a little nap, son Caleb called. “Mom, are you at home? Could you please bring me my hoodie and my white football jersey?”

Yes, son, and I’ll bring you a bag of food, too.

All of these things kept my spirits up.

Now, off to make chicken and biscuits for my family….it’s gonna be a good dinner…stop on by!

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You are loved.

“Something inside me loosened, unknotted. Compassion and warmth welled up in me….there was nothing I wanted for myself, I just wanted to give. Christy, page 402

“Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.” Psalm 16:5

“Satisfy the hunger of your treasured ones.” Psalm 17:14

“In prayer we act like men; in praise we act like angels.” Thomas Watson

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Just four photos from today and four quotes that I recently found and scribbled down in my journals.

I had matcha green tea today, I covered my Message Bible in pretty paper, I’m reading a good book that Grace will borrow when I’ve finished it, and my cat loves squeezing into a tiny amazon box……….

Praising God for a beautiful day.

You are loved, dear friends.

Rich took me along on a quick business trip to Washington D.C. He only had to be gone for a day….we left Sunday morning and got back late Monday night. But so fun! I had never been to D.C. and I was greatly looking forward to seeing the sights.

The White House……….to see it my whole life in history books was one thing, but then to see it in person was amazing. I love history and you know what? I love that the USA has a White House for the President. “It’s Good to be Home”……..in a White House.

Majestic.

I purposely wanted the crowd in the photo with me…..it was fun to be part of humanity, interested in the White House on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. (I accidentally stepped in a mud puddle right after this was taken).

I have a very limited time online and darling daughter Grace called from college while I was uploading photos and I have no more time because now I have to go get Sarah from cheerleading. I will share more of our D.C. adventures tomorrow, Lord willing.

(My favorite parts…..The Lincoln Memorial and Julia’s kitchen!!!!) Swoon.

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quote from my reading this morning:

Eternal God, in whom we live and move and have our being, whose face is hidden from us by our sins, and whose mercy we forget in the blindness of our hearts; cleanse us from all our offenses, and deliver us from proud thoughts and vain desires, that with reverent and humble hearts we may draw near to you, confessing our faults; confiding in your grace, and finding in you our refuge and strength; through Jesus Christ your Son.

~Book of Common Worship

dear friends, you are loved.

xo,

Shanda

Happy Saturday! Besides being a taxi service for our son Caleb, who required two back and forth rides to town for football and band, Rich and I got some stuff done together. We went to our favorite farm store for meat and eggs and to the hardware store for tools to work outside.

Then, we forced our reluctant children help us work on the side flower beds by the driveway and I took my camera outside just for the fun of it. Don’t worry, I was working, too. Working and directing the reluctant children.

Seth did some weeding and fixed the rock border.

He found a salamander under a rock.

And a worm.

And then a bee landed on him and I made him hold still because it “won’t sting you if you just stand quietly. It was difficult for him because the bee seemed to like him and didn’t fly away for about a minute and Seth almost couldn’t stand the tickling.

Dave

Dave and Caleb

Rich was in a zone pruning the peach tree.

I always stay alert so I can stop him before the trees and shrubs he prunes are completely gone.

Sarah didn’t do anything but take some branches away to play with her animals. She and Seth play this so often that I finally made up a very silly “theme song” for them called “Animal Land”.

The boys wanted to know why Sarah wasn’t helping and I said because she’s a princess but that wasn’t the real reason. It was really because I had enough trouble with the three boys to try to add another one to the mix.

Sadly, when Caleb took away her branches later they lost the dog named Skye. The one Seth JUST got at the hardware store an hour earlier. So now that’s part of the story line……….tears were shed and they looked for him, but he still wasn’t found. I wonder where he will turn up. Maybe he ran back to the store?

The other person besides Sarah who was no help was Parker the Dog. He did a little sniffing around and that was it. No bones.

I did a lot of weeding and also got stung by the same kind of bee that was on Seth. I think it’s a yellow jacket? They were attracted to an old can of peaches that I had dumped over the porch railing the other day (very convenient to dump old food outside over the porch railing). I was violently stung just a couple inches above my underarm and it HURT SO SO BAD. I burned my finger yesterday and have an oozing blister the size of a pea on it and now a bee sting on a very sensitive part of my arm that still hurts! I asked Rich to take me to the ER but he said no. I’m not allergic to bees. But at least I look cute. “Saturdays are for overalls”. Rich found my sunglasses for me today when he went to move my car. They are new from Eddie Bauer and I had promptly misplaced them. He found them in the car stuck in the crack of the drivers seat. I’ve been sitting on them for a week?

David and Seth moved wood to the porch for winter time fires.

Back in the house…..Sherlock found a new place to sleep….

I roasted sausages and vegetables for an early supper.

And since the oven was on, I made peanut butter swirl brownies (Seth photo bombed).

While they were baking Rich and I had to go downtown to pick up Caleb. I got nervous about my brownies what with the burned bread the other day and when we got home I startled the dog by running into the house crying “my brownies!my brownies!” He jumped up off the floor and practically ran in circles wondering “what was wrong with Mom now?” I laughed so hard at his reaction to me that I said, while taking the brownies from the oven, “I almost peed my pants!” Rich said, “I think Parker DID pee!”

The brownies were baked PERFECT. What a relief.

The peanut butter part is cheesecake! Sooooo good. I asked had David if he wanted them, or regular brownies, or chocolate chip cookie bars. He picked these. Ethan likes them, too.

So does Caleb. Caleb, Seth, and Sarah cut into them while they were piping hot and went right outside in the cool air with them.

“Did you guys bring your fiesta plates back in the house?”

“I did,” said Seth.

“I did,” said Sarah.

Rich is going through photos because his work requested some for a slideshow they are putting together for him next week. I’m sitting next to him blogging and when we are done we are going upstairs to rearrange Seth’s room because the window by his bed broke and we have to cover it up until the new window arrives.

Guess what?? The two of us are going on a little trip tomorrow. Stay tuned! I’m very excited about it and will take my camera along so I can properly document each moment.

You are loved.

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog today. I’m so very thankful. xo

~Shanda

I was emptying the dishwasher yesterday while the kids waited in the house by the kitchen door for the bus and I don’t know what Seth did to trigger the memory but as I put dishes away I remembered the time, years ago, when he took a baseball bat to the Christmas tree and forcefully hit a glass ball ornament.

I thought about this and then remembered my reaction when it happened.

I ran to get the camera.

That’s me. That’s who I am. I ran to get the camera for a photo of tiny Seth by the tree holding a whiffle bat with a silly smile on his face. It’s on Facebook somewhere, it may even be on the blog somewhere, too.

I didn’t sigh or cry or complain or get upset.

I took a picture of what I saw as precious, valuable beyond measure, dear dear messy BEAUTIFUL life. The real life I love.

Yesterday morning, before the children left for school I asked Seth and Sarah, “Should I make homemade bread today, a cake, or cookies?”

“Bread,” Sarah said firmly, “Homemade bread. I like the kind that’s braided.”

I haven’t been emotionally well and I haven’t been online in three weeks. Last night, with shaking hands, I went back on my laptop. I went on my blog and read comments. I saw that my friends here were asking how I was. I saw that my brother stepped in and reassured. I went on Facebook very briefly. I don’t feel safe there. I feel safe(r) here. So I’m trying to sneak back to my favorite writing-outlet, this blog that I’ve loved sharing in for so many years. Thank you friends, for caring. Thank you for taking the effort to continue to read. Thank you for asking for new posts when I was feeling so low I didn’t want to bother ever again.

I felt (and still feel) very fragile, vulnerable, childlike, humble. I have said to my husband (my hero) more than once, “I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.” I believe this is true, but maybe parts of me will be…..better? And surely there are still parts of the old me still inside, which I noticed yesterday, thanks to the burnt bread.

I’ve been at home, TRYING, in the quiet of the days. I’ve been reading, studying, watching tv, playing the piano, walking, writing, petting my cats. Thinking, learning, praying, singing, slowly, very slowly, healing.

Yesterday when I over-proofed Sarah’s bread so that the braids were practically unrecognizable, and then burned it, I found myself……….remarkably…….

……amused.

I was amused (!) by the outcome of hours of work and very careful following of a recipe written in such detailed fashion that there was really no reason for it to fail.

I went for the camera. I took a photo. I laughed a little.

I felt like myself again. That same woman who ran for the camera when her son made a mess did it again! Ran for the camera!

I went outside to find Sarah, who in all this time had gone to school and come back again and decided to jump on the trampoline as she waited for the bread to bake. I was very curious to know what she would say when she saw my unfortunate creation.

We came in the house holding hands and eager. She was eager for bread, I was eager to hear what she would say.

“Oh! It’s burned!” is what she said, in the same tone of voice that she would use if she woke up expecting to go to school and then remembered, “Oh! It’s Saturday!”

Not that big of a deal, apparently. We’ve been cutting the burned part off and enjoying our 2 inch high “is it a braid or what” bread. If you put it in the toaster you can’t get it out unless you dig with a knife.

It’s the worst looking bread I’ve ever made, but tastes pretty darn good.

I’m glad I burned it. If it had been perfect I wouldn’t have gotten out the camera, but because it was burnt, I took a picture of it. And felt encouraged because I saw my heart again, the heart that can find amusement in the messes of living.

I burned my finger on Grace’s curling iron this morning which wasn’t as amusing.

I made the first fire so that I could burn a notebook of my writings that I knew I would never want to read again. Like my friend Lea Ann said, it had to go.

I collected hickory nuts from the side of the road.

I am at peace.

The same God who made the colorful sunset…..loves you and me!

A few weekends ago all of the children were home. It was wonderful.

The same weekend…..there are six dear ones in this photo. Enjoying the fall day, and each other.

Our Davy is seventeen now.

dazzling

I’ve been seeing a lot of bird activity. This afternoon I saw four turkeys in the woods and stopped to watch them for a while.

I’m reading The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle (newbery book) and it’s AMAZING!!!!!!

Seth the football player, playing outside on the driveway here at home. We’ve been busy each weekend watching his games. He’s so good and quite adorable, I might add.

Sarah Joy, right before heading to the house for bread.

Home Sweet Home

Thanks to the burnt bread…..here I am, blogging again!