in my heart there rings a melody

Posted on September 8, 2016 by Shanda

(grandpa’s old barn)

The north wind brings forth rain,
and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Like cold water to a thirsty soul,
so is good news from a far country.

Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.

It is not good to eat too much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory.

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Proverbs 25:23-28

Good morning, friends, how in the world are you?

Imagine! God’s many numerous good things are all around us, oh to have the eyes to see them, really see them! Even on the “down” days we are going UP UP UP, on our way to glory land. Eternal life is NOW, it starts now, never to end……..as believers we have so much hope, it’s hard sometimes to keep our minds focused on the wonderful promises of God, but nevertheless they are there in the Bible, they are real and never changing. Isn’t it incredible to have security in an unchanging Father? He always loves us, always cares for us, always holds us in his mighty hands.

My parents have a nice pumpkin patch, we all visited it and “blessed the pumpkins” by giving them a nice pat, you can’t help but want to touch them because they have very smooth looking skins. I especially love the photo of son David using one as a pillow.

cousins

From a distance, the pumpkin patch. My prediction is that it will be even bigger next year.

Back at home now, Gentleman Gray is wondering where his friend Snickers is. Snickers has been missing for a week and we are all beginning to worry. They keep coming to me and asking about him, but so far there is no news, no letter, no message, no sign.

*sigh* I hate losing cats. My guess is that the smell of skunk was too much for him.

Speaking of which, the house is smelling much better. What a relief. (Now if the dryer would stop screeching….) Parker the dog is still smelly so he spends most of his day outdoors in the fresh air.

The garden is still producing tomatoes and my favorite way to eat them…….

……is generously placed on toasted & buttered Pepperidge Farm white bread, with salt and pepper (more pepper than salt). Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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I also made a banana bread. (Grace’s favorite, turns out Michael likes it, too).

“I can see you!” I remarked to the amusing Grasshopper. He shifted and twitched. Being upside down is not a safe place to be if your legs are your number one escape mechanism.

Ah much better.

I looked & looked without touching and he never did jump away. I think he liked me, too, but most likely he was scared out of his wits.

These are a most wondrous scented wild flower.

I looked it up in my wildflowers book: nothing.
I looked it up online by googling CT wildflowers, yellow: nothing
I looked it up again online, using the name of what I thought it was, “morning primrose”: found it!

Its common names are: Evening Primrose (I was close), Evening Star, or Sundrop.

Wikipedia has a very interesting article about it here.

delightful. You can smell them before you even get close to them.

And then I decided to pick a pink bouquet.

“It isn’t what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart.” ~ Author Unknown

My heart.

Seth is holding the “tough guy ball” which looks JUST like a coffee bean, and is rewarded to a player after every practice. The player takes it home for the night and then returns it at the next practice.

Look how handsome he is. I tie his string and buckle his buckles and then bend down to double knot his cleats. He looks around as I fuss, ignoring me as I adoringly serve him. It is an honor for us both but only I am conscious of it.

We arrived at the field’s parking lot for practice and as he briskly took his helmet out of the back of the car, I closed the truck and turned to him to say goodbye, “Have a nice practice, Seth! Give me a kiss.” (the test–to see if he would kiss me in front of his friends, I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t. In fact, I was sure he would wouldn’t.)

Without hesitation, he came over close and gave me a quick, distracted kiss on the arm. (lip height). Like of course it was the most natural thing in the world to kiss mama before running off to football practice.

My heart.

**********

I have a song that Jesus gave me,
It was sent from heav’n above;
There never was a sweeter melody,
‘Tis a melody of love.

In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody with heaven’s harmony;
In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody of love.

~Elton Menno Roth~

fly

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Shanda

I shut my laptop after the last blog post,
took a shower, got dressed,
went back on the porch……..

…..and discovered a new monarch butterfly. Our first to emerge, out of the four caterpillars we had collected.

I sat and watched it for a long time, thinking about how much life is growth, so much growing and changing. Butterflies only get to do it once, we get to do it over and over. There are dark times when we are in our little stuffy cocoons, lonely, maybe perfectly willing to be all alone, needing *something* but not really knowing what it is. It is a waiting time. Then comes the “break through”. Suddenly we have had enough of cocoon time and find that it’s time to get out from the covers, get out of bed, get out of our own minds, oh how it hurts to start breaking down walls but it feels so good at the same time….new air, new sights, drying wings…….freedom.

After the struggle to emerge comes the strengthening time…….those who are waiting for us almost lose their patience, we ourselves often lose heart, forget that God does indeed have a purpose for everything, but our Father knows, He understands, His children are ready (not in our time, not in their time) but in HIS TIME……..

He has made everything beautiful
in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Every thing is as God made it; not as it appears to us. We have the world so much in our hearts, are so taken up with thoughts and cares of worldly things, that we have neither time nor spirit to see God’s hand in them. The world has not only gained possession of the heart, but has formed thoughts against the beauty of God’s works. We mistake if we think we were born for ourselves; no, it is our business to do good in this life, which is short and uncertain; we have but little time to be doing good, therefore we should redeem time. Satisfaction with Divine Providence, is having faith that all things work together for good to them that love him. God doeth all, that men should fear before him. The world, as it has been, is, and will be. There has no change befallen us, nor has any temptation by it taken us, but such as is common to men.
Matthew Henry

When we are finally strong again.

We can enjoy life. We can fly.

F L Y

Yes, the family and I have been spending a lot of time by the aquarium, watching & waiting for the butterflies to hatch and fly away. Three of them have gone now, but the fourth seems to be stuck in the cocoon. We think maybe it died inside. We can see the wings through the (now clear) casing, but it should have come out a few days ago.

morning glory leaf

It’s been so fun to see my flower garden become a butterfly sanctuary AND a bird feeding station.

The most darling little goldfinches come to get a sunflower seed, but they are shy and at any hint of my eyes watching them they fly away making a chirping distress sound.

As we have morning glory vines twirling up the sunflowers, it makes for a very lovely photo opportunity. I had to take these photos from inside the house through the glass and screen doors……..

fledging

my darling (while mama sits on one end, oftentimes they will be on the other end playing with their little toys).

I find myself watching butterflies, birds, and children every where I turn.

Hosta flowers

*****

currently reading: Never Turn Your Back on an Angus Cow, by Dr. Jan Pol (good book, I love animal stories)

plans for today: Grace and I are going out with David. We are picking up her ring from Tiffany (left for cleaning) and then have to go to Target to get things for camp next week.

I just want you guys to know that I love you all and that you are so special. I’m thankful for the friends I meet and greet along the way. Friendship and connections of all kinds make life sweet.

look around and be distressed
look within and be depressed
look at Jesus and be at rest

of muffins and monarchs

Posted on July 13, 2016 by Shanda

“There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice.” ~J.Calvin

Sarah Joy had a check up yesterday with her surgeon. I hate to admit this but I did bribe her to be nice to the poor doctor. Ever since her first surgery, Sarah has had a very negative reaction to all the nurses and doctors. Dr. K, her main surgeon, has been so polite, kind, sweet, and loving to Sarah every step of the way and has felt Sarah’s dislike keenly, although she completely understood and did her best to reduce contact with her, keeping her conversations directed toward me and Rich instead. I bought Dr. K a necklace and had it wrapped up very prettily, with a bow. I gently explained to Sarah that she was going to bestow this lovely gift to her doctor with a smile and a hug, “OR ELSE YOU ARE GETTING NOTHING FROM THE GIFT SHOP after your appointment!!” “WHY do I have to give her a hug?” she cried. “Because it will be good for YOUR HEART to be kind!” I said, wisely, with a prayer that this would work.

Success! What a joy! She was more relaxed and talkative to the Doctor than she has ever been. She made Dr. K so happy with the necklace, but most especially with the smiles and conversation and hug.

Sarah was told that she was healing very well and could now do anything she wanted to do, as long as it was okay with her parents. We were given lollipops and then went skipping down the hall to the gift shop, where Sarah happily chose a 1.99 bracelet as a reward for her good attitude. The brothers were with us, too. Caleb chose Jolly Ranchers (making me remember an old xanga friend), and Seth chose a stuffed animal.

*****

When we got home, the only thing Sarah wanted to do with her renewed freedom was go wild-berry picking with her Mama. We walked up to the raspberry patch and picked big beautiful jewels of berries. When we came back home to put on bug spray, she saw that Seth had turned on a movie and decided to take a rest from berry picking because she wanted to watch the movie, too. (It was “Home”). I went in my room to relax and when her movie was over she came in, looked into my eyes, and said, “Are you ready for a berry-walk? Or do you still need to rest?” I looked at her and thought, “I’m not the one who just had surgery. If you don’t need any more rest, I don’t either.”

Off we went to pick BLUEBERRIES this time! The bushes in the woods are small, and low to the ground–nothing like my parent’s property covered in nice tall, fat and mature bushes. But we found “just enough” berries and the sun was at the golden hour…..making everything glow like magic. We found blueberries of all shades.

*****

This morning I woke up to my daughter right in front of my face, telling me it was time to wake up and make muffins. My mind was willing but my body felt leaden. I tossed and turned for a few minutes and then got out of the covers, not so much to make muffins, but because I was curious about how my monarch caterpillars were…….

I found Sarah waiting for me on the little couch and I kissed her face. Together we went into the kitchen to make the muffins she naturally knew we just had to use the berries in.

She sat on a stool to scoop out batter with an ice cream scoop.

She kept tasting the dough and saying “yummmmmmmm”.

I filled the regular sized muffin tin and soon they were baking in the oven and we called up the boys to have their breakfast.

*****

I ate a warm buttered muffin with a cup of coffee, perched on a stool in front of the aquarium which held a dangling caterpillar, two chrysalises, and a caterpillar.

I knew this caterpillar was very close to shedding it’s skin so I determined to wait and get it on video.

These two attached to a stick that I put in the aquarium. They were the compliant caterpillars, the other one was a rebel and escaped the whole set-up to attach to a iPhone charging cord.

When I saw what it had done, I draped the cord over the top of the tank. (I had blocked half the top with a cutting board.)

I sat for a while watching the dangling caterpillar gently convulse. I knew it was almost time and called the children over. We were able to get the whole process on video.

As I sat, I couldn’t help but think about how astonishing God’s creation is. Why did he make these detailed, intricate creatures, and millions more beside? He is The Creator–Creators MUST CREATE. Just think of the things humans make and how we get “in the zone” as we sing, or draw,or sew, or garden. That urge to create came from Father-God, we are like Him, in a very small way, because He made us in His image. It is good and we enjoy it all.

So God created humans in his image. In the image of God he created them. He created them male and female. Genesis 1:27

He brought the most mind-boggling things into existence—plants, humans, animals, all of these things reproduce and continue the cycle of life. Self-sustaining creation. A-MAZE-ING. Overwhelming. No one is like Him, but we have a touch of the divine within us, allowing us to enjoy life, and all parts of living.

No one is like you, LORD; you are great, and your name is mighty in power. Jeremiah 10:6

“If you have been afraid that your love of beautiful flowers and the flickering flame of the candle is somehow less spiritual than living in starkness and ugliness, remember that He who created you to be creative gave you the things with which to make beauty and the sensitivity to appreciate and respond to His creation.” Edith Schaeffer

surprises, gifts, and blessings

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Shanda

I was going to blog yesterday but ended up with a typical full day even fuller.

My son crashed his bike going fast down the road and we had to get him checked out in the ER just to be sure he didn’t fracture anything and thankfully, he didn’t. He has sprains, aches, scrubs, and pains.

When we got home there were extra people here who Jacob had brought over with him and my husband was away for the night because he has a business meeting in NYC.

I made dinner for 9 teenagers (7 of them boys, 2 girls) and 3 children. And then made milkshakes. We watched a movie (Goosebumps) and it was fun but I have to be honest and say I was really tired by the end of the day and went to bed early, as soon as I put Seth, Sarah, and Caleb to bed. (it was 9pm).

Isn’t the shagbark hickory tree interesting? I came across one the other night as I rambled in the woods.

Just look at the bark shagging = God-art. Living, real, true, and quiet. Never asking for attention. People with the hearts and eyes to see go searching and even then don’t witness all that God does in His creation. But they see enough to feel gratitude, peace, and are fed spiritually.

Just days after I confessed to my sisterinlaw Cassandra that I hate making pie crust, I made pie crust! I just did it differently this time, which is to say without fears, and with confidence. Very quickly the crust was made ( life is exciting, even in the kitchen making pie)

We had quiche for breakfast.

And I made a homemade, *I picked the berries myself and the rhubarb came from the garden*, Strawberry Rhubarb pie for tomorrow! (ethan’s graduation party)

They did this all on their own but I did tell them with the voice of an experienced Mom not to go too far into the woods. Seth and Sarah put on their backpacks. Seth’s had one big water balloon it it (yellow), and Sarah had food in hers. They took along walkie talkies. And left side by side for an adventure! Grace and I watched them from the porch. They did just great and came back before I could worry.

David found a formula on youtube for lightening his hair. It consisted of lemon juice, salt, shampoo, and not sure what else. He did it the other day. I’m not used to it yet but I don’t mind in the least. I like what he does. He also found a walking stick from the woods and has been working on it. Sanding it now and then painting it soon. Look at his toe keeping the stick still.

Seth took one look at dinner (Shepherd’s Pie) and said accusingly, with a grimace, “You put eggs on it.” Home-raised chicken eggs, when scrambled, ARE that yellow, but this was in fact, cheddar cheese.

Table full of loved ones; my kids and my kids’ friends who are also my kids because I love them allllllllllllllll……….

Isn’t she lovely? She made the daisy wreath for her hair and when I saw her walk into the house I said, “Wait let me get my camera” the flower wreath on the door made it even better.

two wreaths when just a moment before I was in the living room tidying up!!!!!

Life is full of surprises, gifts, and blessings!

Some of the surprises aren’t that great though!!!!

milkshakes for everyone

scarlet tanager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another gift. I like to wander down to the end of the yard by the bushes and stream at the end of the day because the sun is still shining on the treetops.

and there are a lot of birds

This morning I witnessed tragedy. I was sitting on the wooden bench on the porch facing the road and the trees across the road. Gypsy moth caterpillars are continuing to eat leaves and Baltimore Orioles are up there eating the caterpillars. I was drinking my coffee in my nightgown and robe and looking through my camera photos with the bird book because I take pictures of any bird I see so I can identify them later on. Well, I heard a *bird scolding sound* and looked up just in time to see this mother oriole chasing a crow up the road. I quickly lifted up my camera and miraculously got a clear picture of them. I wasn’t expecting them to return, but moments later I looked up again just in time to see them SOARING BACK DOWN ABOVE THE ROAD BUT THIS TIME THE CROW HAD A TINY BABY BIRD IN IT’S TERRIBLE BEAK. The mother was still scolding and chasing it out of my sight. I didn’t see them come back.

Seth and Caleb sat on the porch with me while all this was going on.

Then, not only did I get exciting news from my brother, but this package came! All before nine o’clock in the morning.

And now I’m on my way to Costco with Seth while the children clean the house.

Party day is tomorrow!

Happy Friday, my friends.

You are loved.

praiseworthy

Posted on June 9, 2016 by Shanda

“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others
cannot keep it from themselves.”

Baccalaureate was yesterday at 4:00. Ethan almost didn’t go….

It was one of those “we almost didn’t bother” but we did and it was amazing. God likes to do that now and then. Totally unexpected SOUL FOOD.

The 2016 class, the faculty, the volunteers from the community, teachers, friends, parents, and ministers all came together for a heart-felt, spiritual service. I sat in the pew with Seth, Sarah, David, and Caleb and soaked it all up.

If you’re reading this and you had a part—THANK YOU.

pride, joy, smiles, tears, song, words. so good.

Hunter reading Scripture.

Glad there was a program so I could study it and learn names.

High School choir in beautiful harmony.

Caleb (Grace’s boyfriend) reading Scripture.

I learned a new hymn and I loved it!

Rachel and Sarah singing with their Dad playing guitar. Making us cry.

Rachel spoke to her class some encouraging words.

They were given candles as “Go Light Your World” played.

Whoever put this service together was thoughtful and gave the kids so much to remember.

They will go far.

The Pastor of the church was kind and down to earth.

I held it together until Grace became emotional and then realization flooded over me again that this is a season of changes, not just for me as a mom; but for my children as close brothers and sisters.

The love they share will never change.

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friends

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

glad tidings

Posted on June 1, 2016 by Shanda

“There is nothing like family,” Mom leaned over and whispered in my ear as we watched little Weston struggle to move a heavy chair, one handed, with his paper plate full of food in the other hand. He wanted to sit by Uncle Isaac. No one was noticing him but Mom and I, from across the way……

*****

Good morning, my friends! It is Wednesday and in my neighborhood, it is sunny with a nice cool wind. There are freshly washed linen sheets waving in the sweet outdoors, pinned up on a porch clothesline. I just washed my hands and dug dirt out from under my fingernails after weeding and tending our baby plants in the gardens. The chickens have been let out. ‘Tis the season for trips into the woods for sticks, in order to stake up the peas. Everything is growing out there, it’s green and full and lush. The cats visited me in the gardens and chewed on plants and rolled in the good clean dirt.

I listened to the birds while bending over the garden.

(This morning I became a member of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology!)

On Sunday, we hosted a pig roast/baptism/Bible study. I know, the pig is rather disturbing. In fact, our 7 year old Seth refused to eat any of it after witnessing such a sight on the grill. However, it was delicious.

Rejoice with me! My son Caleb has been baptized. He is 10 years old, soon to be 11 and loves Jesus and people so very much. He has a tender and loving heart that has been a source of abundant joy to me and his Dad since the day he was born. His hugs knock me off balance every time (multiple times a day). He told me this morning that it is “Step up Day” at school. He is visiting the Middle school with his class. He hung his head down against me and confessed, “I don’t ever want to grow up.” I could very well nurture this attitude because, frankly, I feel the same way. But I have to make his see that it is better to grow according to God’s general plan for humanity, even if it does hurt at times. So I say, not “I don’t want you to grow up either!!!!!!!!!!!”, “Caleb, of course you do! It’s going to be fun!”

And our dear Emily, Jacob’s girlfriend, was also baptized.

Wally had the honor of baptizing his son Jimmy, on his very own 72nd birthday. He told me it was the best day of his life. So you see, you just never know what Father God will bring to you in the future. The best is yet to come!

Rich and I set up tables in the garage for the food. Everyone was so generous in bringing side dishes. The only thing we had to do was prepare the house and yard, hire someone to do the pig roast, and supply coffee and water bottles.

I cut fragrant lilacs, which conveniently bloomed a few days before the picnic, and filled mason jars and vases.

People brought their own chairs and several people took pictures throughout the day. It’s been fun to getting the emails.

Jacob had the camera for a little while and took this photo from the porch during Bible study.

I sat by Larissa, and Emily during the Bible study. It was a hot and humid day (in the opinion of New Englanders, but I’m sure Larissa was cold, as she is from Texas).

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From my seat, I took a panorama. It’s always exciting to try to keep the arrow on the line.

After the Bible study, pretty much every one left. But it was nice to have a few people stay longer, including my parents and brother Isaac, and sister in law Cassandra. Sarah had a great time playing catch with her Aunt Cassandra. They counted all the way to 200 catches! (standing in the shade)

Mom and I went for a walk and counted 10 lady’s slippers. They are Mom’s favorite wild flower and it was a thrill to have her discover some in a new spot, too.

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We heard a woodpecker up in the trees.

We were also looking for as many wild flowers as we could. We pointed everything out to each other. (I think God was smiling)

Don’t you just hate it when you have to do your growing in a dry, uncomfortable spot. Do you know what I think when I see this sort of thing happening in nature? “What a determined and adorable plant.”

Mom.

Several of our guests on Sunday stated that Mom and I “could pass as sisters” and it is true. As I am her firstborn, she was very young and newly married when she had me. I am forty now, and she is fifty eight. I am grateful for every day of my life with her and she is one of my best friends. She has taught me more by actions than words what is important in life; Christ, marriage, family, and the sweet simple gifts in life like birds and flowers, gardens and work.

My little children, let’s not love in word only, neither with the tongue only, but in deed and truth.
1 John 3:18

Who is wise and understanding among you? By her good conduct let her show her works in the meekness of wisdom. James 3:13

(We all make mistakes and have bad days, but moments don’t prove what a life is, and my mom’s life has been a quiet, unpretentious life of love and work. We come from simple, earthy, country stock……….)

She, as well, grew up with a Mother of gardens, sunshine, home cooked meals, walks in the woods, trees, and flowers.

The influence of mothers (and fathers) goes on and on.

^^Do you see the toad?^^

Dear dad blew bubbles with the kids, played drums and guitar with E, football with Caleb, and probably other things that I missed while running around hosting the picnic. We sat on the porch and visited and talked.

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Dad loves me. I can tell by his face.

Or maybe it’s mom, since she is the one taking the photo.

Both.

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When mom and dad had to leave, it was 8 at night. The sun was down and Caleb walked his Grandma to the car.

“O Zion haste, thy mission high fulfilling,
to tell to all the world that God is light.
That He who made all nations is not willing
one soul should perish, lost in shades of night.
Publish glad tidings, tidings of peace;
tidings of Jesus, redemption and release.”

~Mary A. Thompson

(I sang the chorus as I published this blog post and David said, “I never know when you are going to burst into song.”)

thoughts about brother ass

Posted on May 26, 2016 by Shanda

We are composite creatures, akin on one side to the angels, on the other to tom-cats.

It is a bad thing not to be able to take a joke. Worse, not to be able to take a divine joke; made, I grant you, at our expense, but also (who doubts it?) for our endless benefit.

Man has held three views of his body. First there is that of those ascetic Pagans who called it the prison or the “tomb” of the soul, and of the Christians like Fisher to whom it was “a sack of dung,” food for worms, filthy, shameful, a source of nothing but temptations to bad men and humiliation to good ones. Then there are the Neo-Pagans (they seldom know Greek), the nudists and the sufferers from Dark Gods, to whom the body is glorious. But thirdly we have the view which St. Francis expressed by calling his body “Brother Ass”. All three may be–I am not sure–defensible; but give me St. Francis for my money.

Ass is exquisitely right because no one is his senses can either revere or hate a donkey. It is a useful, sturdy, lazy, obstinate, patient, lovable and infuriating beast; deserving now the stick and now a carrot; both pathetically and absurdly beautiful.

So the body.

There is no living with it till we recognize that one of its functions in our lives is to play the part of the buffoon.

The fact that we have bodies is the oldest joke there is.

CS Lewis, in The Four Loves

Isn’t it a relief to have a proper view of oneself? And to laugh at oneself? It is akin to the times when the children and I are sitting around the living room, watching TV, and little Seth says, “Wait for it, wait for it….” and before I am properly aware of what’s happening so I can stop it, out comes a giant toot from Seth’s bottom and loud laughter from his siblings. I try to pretend to be affronted, but I too am laughing and have to admit that the laughter is good.

We have inner treasure (our souls) in an outer jar of clay (our body). Our outward self is dying (our bodies), but our inward self (our soul) is being renewed day by day. We are like both angels (our soul) and tom-cats (our body).

I have spent lots of time over-valuing my body; my appearance, my health. These griefs are “common to man” and will never go away completely. But reading Lewis’ thoughts released me from some of the pressure, pressure that I put on myself as an at times, vain woman.

With Lewis’s wisdom in mind, I have a choice; I can sometimes laugh.

(St. Francis himself took a much harsher view. Although he referred to his body as Brother Ass, he treated it (his body) cruelly in an attempt to punish and/or “tame the beast”, so to speak. He grieved the “ass”, and had a hard time tending his body with compassion, much less with actual laughter.)

WHO CARES about appearances and perfection? Well, we all do to a certain extent. But if we “go further up and further in”, we realize that yes indeed it is true; beauty is in the soul, and not in the body. It may be that our body is beautiful for a time, but not if you hang around it for very long. It will most certainly “toot”, produce strange smells, do strange things, & drive you crazy.

Doesn’t it feel good to laugh about it?

From now on I want to teasingly say to myself when I get caught in a depressing reminder that thing are going downhill bodily speaking despite my best feeding and nurturing, “Oh brother Ass, you donkey, you” and put it on a lower level of seriousness and higher level of comedic relief.

If I hear a loud sound coming from one of my children, I would like to say, “Brother Ass is in the room, I see.” But alas, I am not comfortable saying “ass” as it is mainly used as a curse word these days. I tried it with my oldest son Jacob the other day and he turned around and said in confusion, “What?” Frankly, I don’t need little Seth running around saying “brother ass” at school …… so I guess I will use the other word, which is Donkey.

Take good care of your Donkey self today, with a healthy dose of laughter, and remember your soul, which is everlasting and renewed day by day by the grace of Jesus.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:7

encouraged

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Shanda

By the pond there is a Pinxter bush about to bloom. I remember my Grandparents had one of these wild shrubs on their beautiful country farmhouse lawn. Two years ago I noticed a nice one growing on our own property by the pond. It took me over five years to notice it because it was hidden behind a boulder and snuggled into a pine tree. Of course whenever it blooms I think of family, and Grandma. The comments in the National Audubon Society Field guide say they can be transplanted into wild shrub gardens. As there is also a large healthy one growing down the road a bit, the next time I go outside I will take a shovel and see if I can find a smaller one growing near it to move into my garden.

One of my favorite birds is the Catbird. Why, you ask? Admittedly, it is a very common gray bird but I don’t care as much about it’s simple looks, what I enjoy the most about the humble catbird is its beautiful songs. Almost every time I go outdoors the song of catbirds stops me in my tracks.

I was tickled pink to see that one was making a very nice nest in a tree by the pond. The nest is on a branch low enough for me to look at easily, too. It is constructed of dry straw and wet mud, which is probably why the wise bird chose to make one near the pond. The stream is nearby as well. I bent the branch down carefully to look inside. The mud was still wet but the nest was lined carefully with dry grass, and the cavity was deeper than I expected. I looked into it once and am now determined to keep my distance and wait to see if a family is raised.

The children were all busy cleaning the house on Saturday and while I was taking some pictures, Seth came all the way down the lawn to find me and ask if this cleaner could be used on windows.

chicken house

hummingbirds are frequent visitors to the porch

I went to check the development of the Lady’s Slippers on the dam trail. This one was opening but still green.

This one was up and fully open. It was interesting to me that the two I saw on the left side of the trail were still closed, but the three on the right hand side were open. It must be sunnier on that side.

Another name for them is “Pink Moccasin flower”

Comments: “One of the largest native orchids, this species is found both in low sandy woods and in higher, rocky, mountain woods. Several hundred of these striking flowers can sometimes be counted within a small area. Nevertheless, like other woodland wildflowers, it should not be picked. Nor should it be dug up for transplanting, as lady’s slippers reproduce poorly and are very difficult to grow in wildflower gardens.”

Lady’s slippers are a family favorite.

These wild Lily of the Valley grow in a large patch close to the ground in the woods. (Thank you to Johanna for helping me identify them!)

Then I visited the spot where the wild columbine grows and sure enough, it was up and in bloom. We called these “honeysuckle” when we were children, and we nibbled the honey-filled ends.

They grew on the side of the road but the ones I visit now grow on an old rock wall in the woods. And I haven’t nibbled on them in many many years.

“This beautiful woodland wildflower has showy, drooping, bell-like flowers bearing distinctly backward-pointing, tubular spurs, similar to those of garden columbines. These spurs contain nectar that attracts hummingbirds and long-tongued insects…….”

wild geranium, growing on the side of the road

an interesting fuzzy flowered bush that grows by our stream

unfurling ferns

interesting patch of tall grass by stream

A little bouquet of common wildflowers.

in an Ivory fiesta tumbler

I like it when David comes to visit me while I am reading on the porch. David is currently: reading The Outsiders, trying to grow his hair long, drawing, wearing & caring for a leather coat that he bought at a second hand store, making facial masks using youtube videos, and doing a lot of jumping/flipping/twisting on the trampoline.

bros

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And now for a short story: As much of you are aware, Sarah needs surgery to repair an obstructed kidney (it doesn’t drain correctly, which is why she developed infection and stones). After these particular test results came back, she had a specially-made appointment scheduled ASAP for surgery consultation— for May 24th (today). When I checked my calendar later that day, I cried because it was the day of her very first field trip, which she was very excited about. I felt so terrible for her, “She’s been through so much this year she shouldn’t have to miss any of her fun day for such a dreadful thing like surgery consultation.” (the only reason why she has to attend the visit is so that they can be billed—as they should be) So I called to ask for advise and to see if I could make the appointment a different day….but no, the doc’s schedule is very full and they had to work it to get Sarah in so quickly and in their opinion, Sarah would have other field trips and this appointment needs to be prioritized, so on and so forth. So I agreed but didn’t tell Sarah because I didn’t have the heart.

Well………………….this came home yesterday in her folder:

That’s right. The field trip was moved to May 31st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s raining!

It’s like God said to me, “I got this.” 🙂

life is a continual feast

Posted on May 18, 2016 by Shanda

We found out on Monday that Sarah was born with a congenital obstruction in her right kidney. And she also has reflux on that side. The mystery of how she had the stones in the first place as been solved. Unfortunately, this obstruction has caused her right kidney to lose most of it’s function. Thankfully, the other kidney is doing the job of keeping her healthy. (kidneys are amazing) The next step is to meet with the doctor about doing surgery on the ailing kidney to help it drain better…..because with no treatments she will most likely end up with ongoing infection. There is a chance that she may lose the kidney, but the doctor believes that even though it has lost significant function, it still appears to be healthy and he is leaning toward surgically fixing the blockage. We meet with a second doctor next week for her thoughts as well.

Of course, I am not a doctor and I don’t know much. I do not have the wisdom of the doctors, but I do have the wisdom of a mother. As a mother, I was very upset by the results of these latest tests. Truth be told, I did a lot of crying and lost my appetite for a day (but in the midst of it I felt I would be sad forever–strong emotions & dramatics have always been a talent with me). But the doctor and nurse were both calm and reassuring. As specialists, they told me that they see children all the time with the very same situation as Sarah so they know she will be okay.

Jesus was and is always near, so near, and I had time reading the Bible yesterday in which I read many verses that comforted and stayed my soul. I also had a nice long talk with Gary (our pastor) and my dearest mother (with Dad listening, too).

Jacob’s girlfriend Emily comforted me as well. I told her some of my imagined fears and rambling sad thoughts and she exclaimed, “Don’t think about those things!” Which is such simple advise, but TRUE, and I tell you, do not be afraid to share (some) things with your teenagers because they very often have just the words you need to hear, sweet simple childlike faith……..”out of the mouth of babes”.

Enough about that. All will be well. Doctors are a gift from God with God-given healing wisdom and talents. What a wonderful world we live in, where there is knowledge and support for so many medical conditions! This world is full of people trained to help in many ways and I am thankful for everyone I meet who shares a smile, or a kind word, or gives time and energy to be active in the schools and community. These sorts of people make me always to want to do the same. The world is much bigger than a kidney. 🙂 You can quote me on that.

And by the way, Sarah Joy is pain free and completely healthy. Like I said, the healthy left kidney is taking over for the lack in the right one. So this is a huge blessing! And she is on a daily antibiotic to keep infection at bay. She’s happy and growing and active. Not only that, but she’s still young enough that she isn’t worried about a thing (until we are in the doctor’s office!).

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Last week, Rich took me to the Brimfield antique show and we had such a nice afternoon together. I saw these Tasha Tudor books and looked through them. I didn’t buy because they were on the pricy end (probably worth it but not to me).

Birds we love.

Necklaces made from odds and ends.

Just as we are.

What we purchased on that day. We came home and I scrubbed everything up.

The disc pitcher and 7 tumblers are vintage and are for display only. I did tell the children that when they grow up and have a baby we will do a toast with them at that time using these valuable tumblers.

The covered casserole and three light yellow bowls are retired yellow.

The mugs were chosen by my husband — two lapis and one shamrock.

The divided vegetable bowl is a retired piece in Ivory.

Three cereal bowls in lemongrass, white, and paprika.

And then two pasta bowls in paprika.

I put the disc pitcher up high, next to my priceless Lilac one.

My sweet Grace.

darling cat paws

nature is confused…we had a second round of toads this year.

Remember the vultures? We searched for the Death Thing and we found it… a very dead muskrat waving in strips in the stream. EWWWWWWW

My children; 19, 18, 16, 13, 10, 7, 5

Rich and I went on a date Friday and found a restaurant close to home that we enjoyed very much. My salad had roasted potatoes, tomatoes, crumbled cheese, and grilled shrimp on it. Rich had a seafood pasta.

Like I said before, nature is confused this spring. We have toad nurseries in BOTH ponds now. I took this picture because the toad was funny. As soon as it sensed my presence it completely froze in this position.

Rich and I went to a Farmer’s market and I was completely impressed by this handmade jewelry—made by tatting! I bought an ankle bracelet for Sarah and she hasn’t taken it off.

Grace is going to Prom on Friday.

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“For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.” Proverbs 15:16

blown away by grace (book recommendations)

Posted on May 4, 2016 by Shanda

More than anything, my mind is opened up and my soul is refreshed by the written word. This list of books is for any of my friends here who like to read and would benefit from a good dose of grace.

Call the Midwife, series by Jennifer Worth

At the age of twenty-two, Jennifer Worth leaves her comfortable home to move into a convent and become a midwife in postwar Lond’s East End slims. The colorful characters she meets while delivering babies illuminate a fascinating time in history. Beautifully written and utterly moving, Call the Midwife will touch the hearts of anyone. ~From the back of the book

Those who perform a service well must do so without judgement. The women in this book who serve their community as nurses and midwives do so in a way that will leave you breathless because they value and learn from those they serve. These are stories of true need, heartache, and love. Squeaky-clean Christians would do well to read these messy-beautiful humble stories that will make you laugh and cry.

“Now and then in life, love catches you unawares, illuminating the dark corners of your mind, and filling them with radiance. Once in a while you are faced with a beauty and a joy that takes your soul, all unprepared, by assault.” Jennifer Worth

(also a great TV series on PBS!)

Same Kind of Different as Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

Gritty with pain and betrayal and brutality, it also shines with an unexpected, life-changing love.

“I found out everybody’s different – the same kind of different as me. We’re all just regular folks walkin down the road God done set in front of us. The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless – just workin our way toward home” Denver Moore

Grace for the Good Girl, by Emily P. Freeman

What would happen if we let grace pour out boundless acceptance into our worn-out hearts and undo us? If we dared to talk about the ways we hid, our longing to be known, and the fear in the knowing? Emily Freeman invites you to release your tight hold on that familiar, try-hard life and lean your weight heavy into the love of Jesus. ~from back cover

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen

No one should leave church feeling manipulated, controlled, shamed, or condemned. But places of shelter and encouragement can become abusive if spiritual leaders begin to use their authority to meet their needs for importance, power, or spiritual gratification. Here you’ll discover how to identify an abusive church and also how to break free from its destructive legalism. Insightful, practical, and solidly grounded in Scripture, this book has what you need to recover a grace-filled relationship with God and His church.

Families Where Grace is in Place, by Jeff Van Vonderen

Here is a message about how God’s grace can transform relationship within a marriage and family. The first step is learning the simple difference between God’s job and ours. God’s part is to fix and change. Our responsibility is to depend on the Holy Spirit, serve our families, and help to equip them to be all they can be. ~back cover

Freedom From Performing, by Becky Harling

My aunt read this book and knew my heart needed the message, too. I will always treasure her copy of the book that she gave to me, full of her underlines and notes.

For years, author Becky Harling lived for the rave reviews of others, until God directed her from performance-driving theatrics to a leading role as a grace-motivated follower of Jesus. She only needed to be herself, and so do you. ~back cover

Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

The late Lewis, Oxford professor, scholar, author, and Christian apologist, presents the listener with a case for orthodox Christianity. This is definitely not the shouting, stomping, sweating, spitting televangelist fare so often parodied; Lewis employs logical arguments that are eloquently expressed. ~quote from Michael T. Fein on amazon.com

I love Lewis’ honesty as he writes in a logical way regarding Christianity. The words he writes about “religious” people and their pride make me want to shout “Amen!” There is good reason that this book is considered a classic. I learned much from Mere Christianity at just the right time in my spiritual journey.

What’s so Amazing about Grace? by Philip Yancy

Recommended to me by my friend Christie, years ago. This is one of the first books I read that showed me the practical ways grace is lived out.

In What’s So Amazing About Grace? award-winning author Philip Yancey explores grace at street level. If grace is God’s love for the undeserving, he asks, then what does it look like in action? And if Christians are its sole dispensers, then how are we doing at lavishing grace on a world that knows far more of cruelty and unforgiveness than it does of mercy?

“Having spent time around “sinners” and also around purported saints, I have a hunch why Jesus spent so much time with the former group: I think he preferred their company. Because the sinners were honest about themselves and had no pretense, Jesus could deal with them. In contrast, the “saints” put on airs, judged him, and sought to catch him in a moral trap. In the end it was the “saints”, not the “sinners”, who arrested Jesus.” Philip Yancey

101 Cups of Water, by C.D. Baker

My friend Kathy discovered this book a few years ago and bought me a copy. It was a much needed dose of real grace for both of us.

For every time you’ve tried too hard, fell too far, or struggled too much, the refreshing cups in this book–or reminders of God’s infinite grace and mercy–will renew you like cool, clear water after a long, dry walk on a dusty, pitted, uphill road.

“I’ve been a believing Christian since childhood,” author C. David Baker explains, “but it’s my personal failures that have led me to the deep well of Grace.”

David poured his dashed hopes, broken dreams, haunting doubts, and paralyzing fear down that well and found all that’s collected here, all he, like you, needs for living with peace, joy, and purpose: cool cups of relief, comfort, revival, and sustenance.

Because Water Is Life ~from amazon.com book description

He Loves Me, by Wayne Jacobsen

My friend Hannah read this one first and sent it to me. She knew I would benefit from Jacobsen’s words, too.

“So many Christians believe God’s love is fickle: when they sin, He turns away in disgust and anger. They vacillate between “He loves me” and “He loves me not” because of their behavior. That reasoning, writes Wayne Jacobsen, is as flawed as pulling petals from a daisy. Rather God’s love is sturdy, enduring, and undisturbed by people’s failings because God loves humankind not for what they do–but who they are. They are God’s beloved creation.”

Tattoos on the Heart, The Power of Boundless Compassion, by Greg Boyle

The latest book in my journey of discovery regarding God’s grace and love, this book was so gripping that I immediately sent a copy to a kindred spirit friend. It blew us both away. Why? Because this man LIVES out grace. The book he wrote is rich-full of his thoughts and stories as he works with and learns from the gangs in his neighborhood.

For twenty years, Gregory Boyle has run Homeboy Industries, a gang-intervention program located in the Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles, the gang capital of the world. In Tattoos on the Heart, he distills his experience working in the ghetto into a breathtaking series of parables inspired by faith.

Arranged by theme and filled with sparkling humor and glowing generosity, these essays offer a stirring look at how full our lives could be if we could find the joy in loving others and in being loved unconditionally. From giant, tattooed Cesar, shopping at JCPenney fresh out of prison, we learn how to feel worthy of God’s love. From ten-year-old Lula we learn the importance of being known and acknowledged. From Pedro we understand the kind of patience necessary to rescue someone from the darkness. In each chapter we benefit from Boyle’s gentle, hard-earned wisdom.
These essays about universal kinship and redemption are moving examples of the power of unconditional love and the importance of fighting despair. Gorgeous and uplifting, Tattoos on the Heart reminds us that no life is less valuable than another.

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As I write about these books, I am struck by how they all came into my life at just the time I was ready to read them. That’s God for you! I hope that they are a blessing to you, as well.

Happy Grace-Full Reading!

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty. Zeph. 3:17