Yeah, that’s what I’ll do, just think of myself as sick!

Actually, I’m just plain over-tired, and am off to a “great” start this morning getting irritated with my husband’s work schedule and wondering if it’s worth it.  And crying already.

I have maids coming today….the last time they were here they left me a note saying that if I want the most out of my cleaning experience that maybe I should help a little by picking up the “abundance of objects” on the floor before they come. 

I’m still mad about that.  But I totally exhausted myself yesterday picking up stuff like they asked me to, and directing the others to do the same, that when Caleb came over to me and wiped his sticky face ON MY ARM…I lost it with him…I can still see his crying self sitting on the bricks by the woodstove (where I sent him) dressed in his Buzz Lightyear suit.  I AM NOT A NAPKIN!

I also got mad and threw away a bunch of socks.  I did tons of laundry yesterday and was left with miscellaneous socks, “I’m THROWING THESE AWAY” I said as I burst into tears.

MOM!  THAT’s GOING A BIT TOO FAR!  says Jacob.

No, I don’t care, in they go……..and in they went.  Now whenever I match socks I’ll be wondering, “did I throw the mate of this one away?”  I hate socks.  I want to throw them all away and buy just one size of one brand.

I have a head ache, I just want to cry and have a temper tantrum.   I was snippy at Rich this morning when he said, “I’ll be home early today I promise.  It won’t be any later than five.”  I said, “Oh, okay, SEE YOU IN ELEVEN HOURS!”  I called him on the phone to apologize, but I’m still begging God to help me not be ugly toward him. 

I feel fat and unattractive.  Rich wants me to grow my hair back out to shoulder length and it is in such an awkward stage of growth….I’m heavier than I ever was in previous pregnancies and that makes me feel low, too.

Seth has a doctor’s appointment at 9:15 and then I plan on taking the kids to the bookstore.  Jacob has a gift certificate and I want to be out of the house when the maids are cleaning.

I’m “sick” I should be on the couch! 

Should I keep the maid service?  They clean the floors and dust, change sheets and make beds, scrub out the microwave, wipe counters, etc.  I know when I get home later I will be happy with the cleanliness.  Now that I’ve cleaned the entire house I could do that myself in an hour ro so, I’m sure of it.  I’m wondering if the stress of getting ready is worth it?  One good thing is that knowing they are coming does motivate me to clean really really good.

I’m just tired and I was mad when Rich said, “this is the hard part of pregnancy for you, the tiredness and emotions” but he is right……..

Can you pray for me today?  I know I’ve over-stretched myself when I don’t like life, my children, or my husband!  I really need to slow down today and get a grip.

Okay, gonna go get a tissue and get ready for the children to wake up……..(I’m going to go clean some more.  I can’t stop!  I told you I need prayer!)

I kept my eyes open *just for fun* yesterday, looking for the color pink.

February is my favorite month of the year…because it’s my birthday month…and Valentine’s Day, which I enjoy because of all the pretty pink and red thoughts that dance in my head.  The love, too, of course.  And the feeling that the freshness of spring is coming soon (just look at the flower department of the grocery store, how very encouraging to see the daffodils appearing!)

My rose fiesta mug was pink, and I enjoyed sipping my ice cold juice as I ate an egg sandwich and read the February 2009 edition of Somerset Life magazine. 

Caleb and Seth’s midmorning snack was a dark dark pink (otherwise known as red)….berry sweet, bananas & strawberries, with whipped cream on top.  (Seth ate his fruit off his high chair tray so he did not get cream.  I gave him a small puff of it right in his mouth.)

Grace Lillian sat at the table and began making her “Merry Valentine” cards.

I have a thing for pretty dishes and brought out my lovely Homer Laughlin China plates (I already have been using the sugar bowl) to use this month.

My baby girl, Sarah, has a so soft bear waiting for her to arrive in June and snuggle.  A cloud of pink in the form of a bear.  She’s sitting the midst of some of Sarah’s new clothes that Rich, Grace, and I bought for her last Saturday.

And my first Valentines, made with lots of glue, snips of scissors, odds and ends, and LOVE.

Have a wonderful day in the Lord today, my friends!  Have fun!

~Shanda

This was the first picture I took of Seth this morning, we were all around him saying Happy Birthday and singing to him and hugging him….he looks like he enjoyed the extra attention, doesn’t he?

I must say, this has been probably the fastest year of my life.  It’s hard to believe that the newborn baby boy Rich and I were holding for the first time a year ago is now walking and climbing and getting into so much mischief…exploring his world, soaking everything in.  Babies are marvelous.

It’s been a blindingly fast year, but one crammed full, of fun and precious memories.  Seth is such a wonderful blessing, he has made us joyful every day for the last 365 days!  And every day we love him more.

Happy first birthday, Seth William!

I made scrambled eggs for the kid’s breakfast this morning and since I already had the eggs out I went ahead and mixed up cupcakes, too.  (from a cake mix)

David was ready for school so early that he was able to take a trip to the chicken coop with his sister and they came back with such a heavy, big egg that I took a picture of it, and two others as well.

Then I read David a book and the bus came and away he went.  I took my cupcakes out of the oven.

Seth started getting fussy.

I had the older kids start their schoolwork and I held Seth for a while, to relax him.

He likes the edges of his soft blue blankie.

I chatted on the phone with my sister as I mixed up frosting for the cooled cupcakes and then I got off the phone and decorated them.  They are an original creation by me.  I had the kids help me because I got tired of decorating after about half a dozen.

They are called cowpie cupcakes.  The sprinkles are cow-shaped and the mini chocolate chips represent the cowpies.  I didn’t decorate all of them though because I don’t like crunching on sprinkles when I chew.

Then I took my shower and the children finished up their schoolwork.  Caleb vanished to the basement to build legos.

I was so tired that I scooped Seth out of his playpen (where he had fallen asleep) and I went to bed with him and I read a book while he snoozed by my side.

Oh I forgot to say that I had dinner in the crockpot by 7am (it was one of those frozen dinners that I defrosted).

I took a catnap with Seth until he woke up with a smile, to find himself in bed with mama.

Later on, I decided to go out to the vehicle to get my notebook so I could do a journal page.  I took the camera with me, so I could take a picture of the weather we are having today.

I fed Seth a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and frozen berries for lunch.

While the older children ate their lunch, I sat at my desk and wrote in my journal and Seth was right with me.

I decided to tip him over and lay him on my desk so I could take a picture of his FIRST TOOTH!

He hates showing people his tooth.  I had to put the marker he was holding in my mouth to get him to hold still and look my way.

Then I got up for some reason and Seth did his climbing act so I took pictures.

First he gets on the chair and stands up on it.

Then he gets on the table.

He found some old dry cereal….a prize.

And then he gets into mischief.

Time went by and I was so bothered by all the noise my older children were making that I sent them outside and told them to stay out there for hours.  It was so calm and nice in the house after that….Caleb watched a Pooh video and I puttered around in the kitchen, cleaning.  I even changed out the curtains over the sink.

After I cleaned, I sat on the couch to rest and Seth came along.  It was at this moment that I realized something for the first time about my camera.

The light on the front of it, that shines when the camera is focused, is BLINDING!

I’ll have to cover it up with black electrical tape.

I am wearing crocs and Seth, at this moment, is flat on his tummy poking his little finger in the holes of my crocs.  I can feel his finger tip poking me in the toes.

The children are still outside.  The last time I checked they were shoveling “roads” on the pond.

The smell of dinner in the crockpot (smothered steak:  steak with garlic, onion, green peppers, and mushrooms) is making me wild with hunger.  I think it’s almost time for a taste test.

I’m happy because tonight for the first time this week we will be eating dinner all together as a family.  Yup, it’s been one of those weeks for my poor husband.

Only 4 more hours until he gets home! 

 
(pictures taken September 2009)

At just about the same time I became pregnant, our family heard the sad news that Rich’s beloved Grandma was diagnosed with bone cancer.  She is in her early 90’s (I’m sure she would not mind me saying so!) and is a gentle and loving lady, who loves her family and God so very much.

As a young bride, I was welcomed by Grandma, she made me feel like part of the family from the very beginning.  She used to come over and get me, and later baby Jacob, and we would go places together.  She calls, she writes, she LOVES SINCERELY.  Safe and warm.  At family gatherings, it’s fun to see her sit and attract us to her for a chat, with her eyes watching the rest of her loved ones as we visit, with so much joy.  Her very presence makes us better, makes us behave just that much nicer.  I laugh as I write that, but it’s true! 

Rich went through tough times as a teenager, and Grandma was always there as a guiding influence.  She is proud of Rich, I saw her face the last time he hugged her long and meaningfully, the last time we saw her, he didn’t see her face when he pulled away, but I did, she was looking up at her grandson-turned-man, trying not to cry, so many messages in her eyes….”I love you so much”….”I’m proud of you and who you are”….

She would feel uncomfortable if I made her out to look perfect, but in our eyes she’s pretty close!

Her name is Sarah Lillian.  Grace has her middle name, and our next daughter will have her first name, in honor of a lady we rise and call blessed. 

Grandma is doing well at the moment, she seems comfortable, but I ask for prayer as she finishes her life here on earth.  Her husband has been gone for over 50 years.  The first thing she said when she heard the news of her cancer was, “Now I can go home and see Clarence again.”  Beautiful.  She’s longing for home.

Oh God, if it is your will, please let her stay long enough for me to put our baby Sarah into her arms.

We are expecting a baby girl!

Her name will be Sarah Joy.

…..and He will give you the desires of your heart….