“She was….anxious for the holy walk,
and growth in the divine life.” ~Octavius Winslow, of his mother.
I have to constantly pray for forgiveness, and am continually humbled by the evil in my own heart and the GOODNESS of God’s free grace and mercy toward me.
Just this morning, I was getting more and more irritated.
David was not focused on what he was supposed to be doing ~ getting ready for school. I reminded him “get dressed” “not that shirt! you just wore it!” “eat breakfast NOW” …… and then, when he ran to me and said, “It’s so NICE outside today!” I said, “Well, you still need to wear a jacket.” He said, “No, I don’t!”
That was it. I grabbed his little arm and said, “DON’T YOU SAY NO TO ME. YOU SAY, ‘YES, Mama’, AND YOU GO DO IT.”
He took off running to find that jacket, leaving me mumbling in the kitchen….”WHO dares to tell me no? Unbelievable!”
So, we get him off to school and then.
Sister needs me.
She knows tomorrow is brother’s birthday, she wants to sew.
“Where’s a craftbook, MOM?”
“Where’s the thread?”
“Where’s a needle?”
“Do you know where the scissors are?”
Finally, I had to confess to her. “Grace, I’m not feeling well this morning. I like what you are doing but I just cannot help you. at. all. You have to do it by yourself.”
I was so irritated in my heart, I was taking deep breaths and just praying, “Lord, this is so hopelessly hard. I just can’t be nice this morning….help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I felt better after a shower and clean clothes. Little by little, the Lord settled me down.
Grace eventually got the cutest thing made for Ethan. I am so proud of her. I will show you a picture tomorrow.
It’s situations like *a stressful morning* that show me what my heart is really like. I can read my Bible, study, meditate, and yet…….that flesh is still alive and well, ready to flare up at anytime, to show me how much I utterly and simply NEED MY SAVIOR. How thankful I am for the throne of grace, and the knowledge that God knows and understands my weaknesses. It’s okay! It’s all okay. I shouldn’t take myself so seriously. If I keep my eyes on Christ and off myself, all is well.
“I see the face of Christ,
and his loving compassionate look disperses the cloud,
and all is peace.” ~ Mary Winslow
I was in the kitchen, all was calm again, and I was mixing up some bread dough, when my two big boys joined me full of conversation. They had been outside and when I turned to see, I realized they both had chickens in my kitchen!
(Joanna, look at the light fixture above the entry way. I took your advice and got rid of the brass one for an iron one. Also, everyone who read about my garbage bin buying this weekend…it’s there, to the left of Ethan, at the end of the counter. You lift the lid to throw away trash.)
The weather has been so nice this morning, and we even had some sunshine.
I got Seth all bundled up, grabbed a sweater and my coffee, and the boys and I sat out on the porch together.
And then we walked and talked and played.
The girls were all busy, wanting to lay their egg for the day. We only had 2 nesting boxes and things were getting a little out of hand, a line was forming. So, Grace and I went in the garage and hunted up a couple of cardboard boxes…and now there are four straw filled nesters, for the chickens to fuss over. Yesterday we collected a dozen eggs for the first time! So far today, we have gathered 6. Five lovely browns, and one beautiful green.
I baked a pan of soft cinnamon rolls and just pulled two loaves of bread out of the oven.
Jacob said, “Hmmmm, something smells GOOD!”
We are all back inside from a morning of play, and ready to eat some lunch. I just fed Seth, and put him to bed for a nap. He still has a cold, and coughing some now, too. He has been extra needful of his Mama, and blankie, for the last few days. I can’t say that I mind the snugly time, although when both he AND Caleb both need me at the same time, I do kinda wonder what will happen when newborn Sarah arrives in a few months.
I hope each of you has a blessed, peace-full day!
“…They should seek the Lord…for in Him we live, and move, and have our being.” Acts 17:27,28