recovering!

Posted on April 21, 2015 by Shanda

Good morning! I was awakened this morning by Jacob knocking at my door at 6:21 in the morning because I had promised to write him a check for seventy dollars for the prom. As soon as I stood up, the all too familiar chills and flu headache appeared. I wrote the check and tortured myself by stumbling back to bed even though I knew I couldn’t sleep anymore…I had to wake up Seth and Caleb.

So here it is several hours later. The smell of roasting chicken is in the air, as I am getting a head start on dinner later which will be Chicken Divan. Little Sarah is pattering about upstairs getting dressed.

I was sick an entire week and indeed, I am not yet quite well.

However, God is to be praised and glorified because He delights in caring for His precious children and I felt his love so much over the last week. Rich had a business trip from Tuesday to Thursday and I was so sick I had to send out a distress call over Facebook. My friends came through for me in such generous ways! By eight that morning four of the children were taken away……Caleb and Seth to my friend Diana’s house, and Grace and Sarah to my friend Heather’s. And each of these ladies had four children of their own at home, too, not to mention one year old baby boys. Heather took the girls to the Science center and gave me a candle, card, and jelly beans (which I gave to Jacob to take with him to his track meet). Diana had the boys spend the night and when she brought them back she also gave us dinner. Which reminds me, I really need her bread recipe.

My friend Barb came over with essential oils and took the boys to their orthodontist appointment. She bought me a box of tissues.

I carry the baggie of oils around with me, they are so very therapeutic! My sense of smell is returning!

Last Monday for whatever reason I very dumbly decided to go for a walk with the children. My only excuse is that I had taken three ibuprofen and felt that I was getting better (oh how I laugh now) …. anyway, the reason I went was because Grace came to me and said, “Mom, I thought I heard ducks but it was really frogs. They’re back.” Namely, Spring Fever.

The happy frogs were down by the rushing stream in a quieter tributary, laying eggs. I’m not sure what type of frog they were, they were NOT the bullfrogs. Once we were that far, we decided to keep on going and walk up the dam trail.

David was jumping on the trampoline being unsociable and Ethan was at practice, so it was Jacob, Emily, Grace, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah.

Jacob shot a tree with an air-soft gun (I know, this was bad of him) and we all ran over to taste the sap. He looked around for a Maple tree but could not find one.

It was a little cold for Sarah so Jacob and Emily left with her and Seth. They also had bare feet and the grass was hurting them. Grace, Caleb, and I continued to the old beaver pond in the woods to search out some more frog activity.

We saw a new bird species as we entered the woods by a tiny stream. We didn’t notice it at all until we were almost upon it, it was so well camouflaged. The pictures I took are truly pitiable. If you lean in very close to the computer screen you can see it…a small bird about the size of a bantam hen, with an upturned tail, black eyes, and long beak.

You may have to take my word for it. It flew away reluctantly in three brief flights; the third one being the last attempt we made to “get a little closer”. I looked it up later on and decided it was perhaps a Water Rail.

We sat down by the beaver pond to watch the frogs. Grace was right next to me. She had bare feet and said, “What in the world is under my toes.” It turned out to be a tiny tree frog. Then, she climbed a tree and just as she settled in the branches she saw a red spider. Nature loves Grace.

Dear Caleb. He proudly wears his waterproof boots.

Eastern Skunk Cabbage blooms. It really does smell like skunk…the kids call it stink weed.

bright green moss on a boulder in the woods.

Skunk cabbage growing through a leaf.

Walking with boys ALWAYS involves a few battles with sticks.

Heading home. Caleb was our silent third party while Grace and I chatted and laughed all the while…….

When I got home I decided to open the last bottle of blackberry/sage Kombucha. It opened like a shot and Kombucha pulp sprayed all over the ceiling. I had to walk around on the island with clorox wipes to clean it off. If the cork wasn’t held on to the bottle by metal hardware I would be typing this blog post with only one eye.

I never even drank it. I could not taste it and couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t spoiled. I’m sure it wasn’t, but after cleaning up all the pulp I lost my appetite for it. It sure got fizzy, right?

After Monday I didn’t pick up my camera again for four days (this is impressive for me). I did have my phone so I took a few pictures with it:

I was in the cupboard trying to find something to snack on when Grace saw the word flu. We had to laugh at the irony.

Jacob and David, I’m so proud of these sons of mine.

Caleb after a few days of neglecting to gather the eggs.

The glorious sky on Friday which prompted me to touch the camera again. The day was dark and gloomy until the very end when the sun came out briefly. I love the dark sky and the sunshine trees.

Snickers asleep on the porch.

Seth playing football by himself.

On Sunday I thought I saw the football down by the pond but then realized it was a Muskrat of all things. It sat at the edge for a while, I think it was eating, sometimes the force of it’s digging made its long tail come out of the water.

walking away

Lastly, I took this picture of Rich reading to our youngest two last night before bed.

*******

I have two book recommendations for you, if you are interested. The first is titled A Room with View, written in 1908 by Edward Morgan Forster. It’s a free download on the Kindle. After you read it you can watch the lovely movie adaptation.

The second book is one that I am currently reading. It was written by a Romanian Lutheran pastor who was imprisoned for 14 years of his life in different prisons because of his Christian belief. It’s titled In God’s Underground and was written by Richard Wurmbrand and is a one dollar book on Kindle. Here is a quote:

“The prison years did not seem too long for me, for I discovered, alone in my cell, that beyond belief and love there is a delight in God: a deep and extraordinary ecstasy of happiness that is like nothing in this world. And when I came out of jail I was like someone who comes down from a mountaintop where he has seen for miles around the peace and beauty of the countryside, and now returns to the plain.”

That’s not to say that he did not experience satanic temptations, torture, and deathly illness, because he did. But in the midst of it all he experienced over and over again God’s amazing sustenance. What a beautiful testimony this book is and I think EVERY Christian should read it to get yet another idea of how awesome God is, and what is available to us as believers.

Here is just one more quote and then I will close this post for the day.

“Words alone have never been able to say what man feels in the nearness of divinity. Sometimes I was so filled with joy that I felt I would burst if I did not give it expression. I remembered the words of Jesus, ‘Blessed are you when men come to hate you, when they exclude you from their company and reproach you and cast out your name as evil on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!’ I told myself, ‘I’ve carried out only half this command. I’ve rejoiced, but that is not enough. Jesus clearly says that we must also leap.’

“When next the guard peered through the spy-hole, he saw me springing about my cell.”

Dance for Jesus today, my friends! Rejoice and leap for joy!

easter 2015

Posted on April 6, 2015 by Shanda

Glorious Easter! The day all the world is reminded of the amazing hope we have, because of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ dying on the cross and *not staying dead* but rising again the third day. Up from the grave He arose! And because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, I can also live forever and ever……. and someday soon, because life is short, I will see Him, and know Him, and be home. Oh I can’t wait for that day….that “can’t wait” feeling is HOPE, glorious resurrection hope. Thank you, Jesus.

I woke up this morning at 6 and found Jacob frying himself some eggs, Davy ready to chat with me, and Grace sick to her stomach but saying she was fine and going to school regardless. (She is way too responsible for her own good.) I served cereal, started the dishwasher, started a load of laundry, folded three loads of it at the couch, drank coffee, made myself a couple of eggs and shared them with Seth, gathered up homework and bags for the elementary school boys, and sent five children off to school.

I’m still in my pj’s, feeling rather sleepy, I’m in bed with Miss Sarah. We are under the down comforter and she’s snuggled up close enough so I can play with her hair, she’s sucking her finger and feeling the tag on her new stuffed animal. It’s cozy with my little sunshine girl, listening to the washer and dryer hum.

I found this old snapshot of the kids, taken in our old neighborhood. Caleb was a baby and not in the photo. Grace is wearing her flower girl dress and Jake and E are dressed exactly the same, and standing exactly the same, too. Little Davy has such a sweet smile on his face. Isn’t it funny how a simple picture can make a person happy and sad at the same time? I remember how Grace, at this age, used to hate getting sun in her eyes, and was very sensitive about outdoor photography, you can see it in her face in this picture, too.

They are growing up but Grace wore a white dress again this year.

Thank you to Mike for taking these portraits yesterday morning before church.

Outside, we gathered up the family and I said, “come on let’s act like we love each other!” which prompted Seth to put his arm around me and melt against my leg……sweet, sweet love of a little son.

We went to church….I can’t think of a better day to attend a church service….and then when we came back home we didn’t eat a ham dinner.

We ate pizza!

Here is a photo of all my children yesterday when we got back home. I wouldn’t let them in the house until I took a picture of them all….my own offspring plus Jacob’s girlfriend Emily (red sweater), and Myriah (white jacket), a young family friend who lives in Virginia and came to visit us during her spring break. She will be here all week.

I spent five dollars on the actual baskets from our local thrift store, and I put jelly bean filled eggs in each one, with a gift. I accidentally bought two bags of very SOUR jelly beans but the children still liked them. Seth had matchbox cars, David and Caleb had sticky bugs that they could shoot with their finger at the windows, Sarah had a stuffed animal, and the older teens each received a pair of new socks. Simple, but enough to keep them all excited about the day.

We had my sister’s dog-baby all weekend, too. His name is Lloyd and he is a labradoodle. Isn’t he adorable? Rich called him Rug and told me that Rug looked just like me what with the brown curls. He was a lot of fun to have in the house with us, such a cute puppy. David was the one in charge of him, while Uncle Jason and Aunt Amanda were away for Easter. He is back home now and Seth asked me if we could please get a rug.

Emily had Easter dinner at her grandparent’s house and took Caleb with her (heart melts). The rest of us made homemade pizza……

It was non-stop activity in the kitchen for a long time as I made a ton of pizza dough and the kids each made a pizza of their own. Jacob was a slow perfectionist over his pizza, causing great amusement, but his hard work paid off because YUM YUM it was good. Myriah made a pizza for the first time and did so good, it was amusing to see her press the dough around on the oily pan trying not to touch it with her long fingernails. Grace made a pizza with salami as a topping and she used cookie cutters to make the salami pretty. Seth made a crazy-shaped stuffed crust pizza that was thin on one side and thick on the other. Ethan and David each chopped up their own fresh garlic and made clam pizzas. It was awesome.

We cleaned up the kitchen and then watched a movie. Some of the kids fell asleep and the rest of us went outside after the movie was done, to get some fresh air. By the way, it snowed yesterday. But spring is coming and there are signs of it everywhere, it’s just very late this year.

One last picture of Lloyd!

I hope you all had a nice Easter, and have a Happy Monday!

We are loved.

{this moment} picture, song, scripture

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Shanda

1 John 4:9-11 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

1 John 3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Hebrews 12:28-29 Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.

have a beautiful, blessed Easter weekend, my friends.

We are loved more than we could ever fathom.

New England Music Festival (with Grace)

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Shanda

The music for this post is a rendition of the song “The Road Home”, which was one of the pieces sang this weekend at the New England Music Festival. Unfortunately, I do not have video of the actual performance, but this is one from youtube, which gives an idea of the caliber of singing we enjoyed from Grace and her peers. (they sounded just as good if not better)…….

Grace and Her Weekend of Singing

My daughter Grace is 15 years old now and in the 10th grade. Recently, she tried out for the New England Music Festival and made it, so she has been extra busy with preparations for this important event.

We have three teenagers involved in High School extracurricular events and I feel as though I miss seeing Grace the most. Her older brothers are involved in sports which means during the competitive months I see them performing on a constant basis. But Grace is in music and drama both of which do not have as many performances, but a rather lot of practicing— so I don’t see her until about 6:30 or later every school night. I do miss her very much at times, but Grace is the type of individual who thrives on being busy. She is very much like her Dad in that way, but she seems like more of an extrovert. Although she does like reading and writing, she comes alive around her people, especially her role models (teachers and older students and friends).

I watched her get on the bus Thursday morning at 6:30 for school, with Jacob carrying her suitcase for her, and I felt a little anxiety knowing I wouldn’t see her again until Saturday. Thursday was the day she and the other students travelled to Keene, New Hampshire, for the music festival. She doesn’t have a cell phone so she would only be giving us brief updates using a friend’s phone.

It is amazing to me how much the dynamic of our family changes with just one person away! Each one of our children is a perfect fit into our family, we love them so much and thank God continually for this stage of life when all seven are still under our roof.

I prayed continually, asking the Lord that she would do well and that her cough (left over from a resent bout with the flu) wouldn’t be a problem. He answered those prayers and more; the girls stayed with a host family and one of the girls there was a believer. Rich received a text message from Grace that told us that she and her new friend talked about the Bible and sang together with two other girls. They tried naming the 12 tribes of Judah, sang camp and Sunday School songs, went through all the contemporary Christian songs and artists that they knew, and generally had a wonderful impromptu Bible study during one of their free evenings. Oh it just thrilled my heart to hear all about it later on. There is another girl from our town that Grace loves, her name is Isabella, and she is a believer also, and was on this same trip staying in the same home as Grace. God is so good in these small but oh-so-important ways!

Despite the fact that Grace is busy, she is faithful to attend the boy’s sporting events whenever she can. I thought it was only fair that with all the support the boys get from their parents and siblings with their sports, we should ALL go and support our dear sister/daughter in this special concert that she auditioned for, so I wrote a check for 96 dollars in order to purchase 8 tickets for Rich, myself, Jacob, Ethan, David, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah. We all eagerly awaited the day when we would take our little trip to New Hampshire, and Grace was happy and secure in knowing that her family would be there, enjoying the program.

Rich got a new watch that keeps track of his exercising and also gives him his text messages– and it came in the mail on Friday, which was a huge annoyance because he spent all Saturday morning not getting excited about the day trip, but silently in the corner trying to get his dang new watch all set up! It was a much needed lesson of patience for the rest of the family. Finally he got himself dressed and we got the children ready to go, too. We left the house at about noon and stopped for lunch on the way, at Crackerbarrel. My Facebook friends already saw the picture Jacob took of Rich and I together at the table. While we were sitting there at the table Rich asked me to text him…so I did…and his watch never received it…(can you believe it? after all that!) he was so annoyed. Thankfully, at the time of this writing it is working better, although still not quite right. (technology saves times and wastes time).

In any case, at the Crackerbarrel, four of us ordered breakfast and four of us ordered lunch. I had a chef salad and coffee. Caleb bought himself a new stuffed cat from the gift shop and named it “SeaCat” because it’s fur is blue and green like the sea. It’s one of those Ty stuffed animals that have HUGE glittering eyes. Those are all the rage in my house lately with Seth, Sarah, and now Caleb. Sarah has about six–all cats–, Seth has two dogs. They play together with them and it’s the cutest thing.

David bought jelly beans because he made a candy dispenser out of legos and wanted to try it out. It’s the neatest little thing. You have to insert a coin to get your bean out.

Jacob got salt water taffy.

Then we were back in the car on our way. The whole trip was only about 2 hours. I thought I had downloaded two new books to my kindle but alas when I went to read, I found that they did not download after all, so I passed the time by my iPhone and/or doing nothing. Rich brought his iPad and had the kids watch an inspirational message given by a military man.

We arrived in Keene with 45 minutes to spare and found a delightful BOOKSTORE of all places! We love bookstores and this one was perfectly charming, independently owned, containing new AND used books. I bought a few charming used children’s books (one of which was titled The Doll’s House, and was illustrated by Tasha Tudor). Then we went to the school to find our Gracie-girl again. I could not wait to get my eyes on her.

We already had our tickets, so we got in line, and I kid you not it was probably a quarter of a mile long. We were behind about 200 or more other people waiting to get into the auditorium for this choral concert. David almost died. But once the line started moving we were in there quickly– in the very back of the auditorium, second to the last row. Rich and I sat with Sarah between us and of course her little feet were in the air because she wasn’t heavy enough to keep the seat down. I had her on one side and Seth on the other and it was all I could do not to get irritated with them BOTH asking me questions DURING the gorgeous songs. I finally got through to them that the could not talk during the performance, bless their hearts, the music wasn’t moving to them, but I had tears on my face throughout all the pieces, it was just so beautiful.

I saw my daughter the moment she came into the room. All of the singers filed in quickly and she was the last in line on the stage bleachers. (there was another set of bleachers on the floor) I thought I had missed her and didn’t know how I could have, I thought my motherly eyes would recognize her even from such a distance away. The room was large and we were in the back, but then I saw her and my eyes teared up. Someone had braided her hair for her and she looked so pretty and energetic. She was wearing her glasses, I had been worried that she didn’t have them with her, but she did, and she looked beautiful, even Rich turned to me and said so. We were proud that she was in such a nice big group of singers from all over New England. We were happy for her in achieving this experience.

The music began, and like I said before, the pieces were beautiful. There were God honoring songs, to glorify Him, and then the last piece, a fun and happy number “Skip to my Lou” that made us laugh. They clapped during that song, I don’t know how the conductor kept the beat with all the rhythms going at once.

Speaking of the conductor, I noticed Seth (he is six) “conducting” in his chair as he watched the performance and it struck me that when I watch, I usually see the concert through the eyes of one of the SINGERS, but my small son would have none of that. HE was THE CONDUCTOR! I love it. I never pretended to be a conductor. The pianist, yes. A singer, yes. Conductor, no.

All too soon the concert was over and so we filed out of the room to wait in the hall with about a thousand other people. Finally I saw Grace heading toward us and the first thing she wanted me to do was take her picture with a set of twin boys. The boys were singers who were homeschooled and Grace loved them (in a friendly sort of way). Then she bid me to follow her back into the auditorium so I could meet the manager of the entire festival, who has a deaf daughter. Grace wants to be a deaf interpreter so she immediately began a friendship with this man and they signed to each other. He wanted to show her a video that his daughter’s deaf camp put together of the song, “Happy”. We all stood around and watched it on his iPad and then it was time to say good bye. He said he would be looking for her next year.

I took a picture of Grace with the conductor, Jerry Blackstone, too. He was a grammy award winning musician and from what I heard was very good with the kids. He certainly got them singing beautifully in only two and a half days of work!

Grace chatted to us all about her experience on the way home. We only stopped twice…once at a gas station to take advantage of New Hampshire gas prices and another time to pick up a pizza closer to home, for dinner.

Pictures

the text Rich received from Grace

Jacob and Parker, on Saturday morning before we left….hanging around waiting for Dad to get off his watch.

Ethan petting Sherlock right before we left for our trip.

New Hampshire mountains

the bookstore we found

just a small section of the audience waiting for the singers to enter and the concert to begin

Caleb, Ethan (with headband) and Jacob, three of Grace’s brothers

the program

The last pose of the last number, “Skip to my Lou”

official portrait-time

Grace and I meet once again.

Grace with the twins

watching “Happy” with the festival manager

Grace and the Choral conductor, Jerry Blackstone

Grace’s pretty braid

proud parents

shame

Posted on March 18, 2015 by Shanda

A little confession for you: I’m a try-hard Christian at times (more times I care to admit). And then, every once in a while (about once a week) I get knocked to my knees in desperation because I simply cannot be a good girl (no surprise there, why not just learn this lesson??). I open my mouth and the attitude and words that pour forth are shameful. I want to be a good example to my children but daily I fail. On Saturday my heart was rotten, I was thinking wretched thoughts, feeling the most grumbly of feelings…..Rich and I had to run errands and as I scribbled in my journal in the car, I began to cry and the words gushed out to my dear husband….he sensed the despair and recognized it for what it was, condemnation. I was reacting to my failings all the wrong way, by condemning myself and my religion. “What’s the point of being a believer if I have to continually struggle against myself and LOSE?” I cried, “When I discover a fault in myself, or my own faults and sin are exposed to everyone around me I feel so much shame and blame my religion.” Then I get upset because of the time I am putting into self-evalutation and my thoughts run like this: “You have so much pride. You are not a good Christian at all. What is wrong with you? Despair, cry, give up!”

Rich, in seeing the way I was beating myself up, encouraged me to think positively, to remember the gifts God has given to me and the very special ways he has created me. But I couldn’t. It was too much self-focus once again. I took up my daily Bible reading and said, “The answers will be here, I know it. I just need to read this.”

My testimony is this: In whatever situation I am facing, the Lord is right there with comfort, teachings, and rebuke, if only I take up my Bible and read it. If only I see and hear what He has to communicate to me. He is so faithful! This weekend I read aloud in the car about the time that God made Balaam’s donkey speak. An angel was blocking the way and the donkey could see it but Balaam could not. Three times he lost his patience with the animal and beat him in anger and frustration.

Rich told me I was doing to myself what Balaam was doing to the poor donkey. Beating myself unnecessarily. It was so funny I had to laugh. Listen:

“What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times?” says the donkey to Balaam, and says myself to myself.

“You have made me look like a fool! If I had a sword with me I would kill you!” Says Balaam to the donkey, and says myself to myself.

But then Balaam comes to understand what is happening and is full of remorse, and Rich applied the passage and told me I have to stop beating my ass. (!)

Balaam goes on to say to King Balak, who wanted him to curse the Israelites for him, “God has blessed and I cannot reverse it.”

THIS IS THE ANSWER. Praise God in Jesus that He has saved my soul and there is NO condemnation to those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1. My heart sings. He has blessed and in no way is that blessing ever going to be reversed!

Rich reminded me that what I was feeling, that wretched feeling, was my own personal fight against the flesh, which is something that ALL believers face. It hurts sometimes, until we remember that we have the victory in Christ Jesus.

It was pretty amazing, because my testimony continues, in the mailbox that very day….we received this month’s issue of Tabletalk magazine with the main topic this month being SHAME. Article after article, all written seemingly for ME and my heart’s struggles. Food for the soul, truth for the doubting one.

“Jesus lived and died not only for the guilt of our sin but for the shame of our sin.”

“If we live each day bearing the shame of yesterday, and we’re worried about the shame of tomorrow, we will never experience the joys of abundant life in Christ today. Let us lift our weary eyes from gazing upon our shame and fix our eyes on Christ, the author and finisher of our faith.”

“Shame is not the final conclusion we make about ourselves.”

“The end of Christian identity is righteousness, not shame.”

“Shame is made manifest by isolation, self protection, self-hatred, self-destruction, self-preservation, and the illusion of control.”

“Satan’s voice will lead to shame, but God’s voice will lead to glory.”

“Our shame begins to unravel as we see His dear person and know His matchless work to be our own. United to Him by faith through the Holy Spirit, our whole position changes. Redeemed and reconciled to our heavenly Father by the Son of His love, the basis of our true shame is dealt with and our alienation removed.”

So, my own struggle with trying hard is dealt with like everything else is dealt with, through the cross and the gospel. Praise Jesus! I will feel the fight at times, I will feel shame, but I am not left there….He leads me along into the glorious truths of what Christianity is all about, Jesus and His righteousness which He so generously bestows on all who believe in Him. This world is not my home, I’m just passing through……and by grace I will say, like Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

wholeness

Posted on February 24, 2015 by Shanda

a simply lovely life

I am so thankful this morning for the freedom I enjoy in simply being me. Knowing that God sheds His grace over me and that nothing I do or say can change His love for me and mine. Knowing that there is less anxiety *in being myself*, than there is in being who I think others want me to be. Through faith in Jesus Christ, I have assurance of everlasting life, and this is the hope I have for my soul. In living this life, He is the One who leads me all the way. Day by day he changes me into His image, slowly, carefully, gently, lovingly. His children are His precious ones, and not one is lost. It is because of His great mercy that we are not consumed.

“It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” Romans 9:16

I have choices, I have a mind, I have a wisdom that knows what my needs are, and what the needs of my husband and family are. There is still a sacred privacy and security within the family unit, and nothing is worth injuring what we share together. It is the same for everyone. Don’t underestimate what you know in your logical mind to be true. I am often guided by my feelings and by the fear of man, but what the Lord has been showing me lately is that I need to be guided by common sense, wisdom, and His Word, the Bible.

I have freedom and every right to make a decision or have a belief contrary to what others may expect or want. In the rare instances that a friend doesn’t understand or agree, I don’t have to be afraid, I can trust in the peace-making promises of grace and love, knowing that my friends accept and respect me, regardless, as I do for them as well. We can enjoy the freedoms that belong to each and every one of us.

Caleb asked me to take this picture. Parker the dog is his friend and Caleb does a wonderful job of taking care of him, playing with him, sharing his food, and making sure his water bowl is filled. Sometimes if I put the dog downstairs, Caleb feels so sorry for him that he goes, too.

Sarah is getting better and better at the matching game. If I miss a match she reassures me by saying what I say to her, “Don’t be sad, you just need to think about it and remember where it is!”

Just for the fun of it David shut all the cats in the bathroom and then we took a picture, which was very very hard to do. Billy kept leaping away with a yowl.

Homemade donuts on Saturday night.

Emily reading to Seth and Sarah.

Davy had his braces put on yesterday. Oh the hardship of a 12 year old getting used to a mouth full of metal. He has been very brave, especially considering he was not mentally prepared for it at all because I thought he was getting spacers put in and we would only be at the orthodontist for five minutes. He was in the chair for over an hour. Oh my darling son. Your smile is beautiful and someday it will be even more so.

grape jelly meatballs for the son who requested them for dinner.

A tiny chickadee selected a seed and then flew away with it…

cozy cat

I made a dozen muffins for lunch. If you let them rest in the pan for 10 minutes they fall right out of the muffin tin.

Rich is working from home today.

I took this picture of Sherlock through the beveled glass in the door.

Knitting a white dishcloth for Joanna.

Right after I asked Rich if he was going to eat his muffin (it had been on his plate for an hour), Parker stealthily walked around the coffeetable, picked it up with his teeth, and went over to the kitchen to eat it on the rug.

These are the next three books I plan to read. I picked these out without reading reviews so I have no idea (besides the back covers) if they will be delicious. I sure hope they are.

I spent some time getting ready for Bible Study tomorrow and I loved this quote from my book on Romans:

“Think about integrity. To be whole, a genuinely integrated person, is to be the same inside and outside. What you are must be what others see, and what you say should synchronize with what you really believe. Jesus Christ not only saves us from our sins and assures us of eternal life with Him, He also puts together all the bits and pieces of our lives. The Christian life is a process. Making a verbal confession of faith is the beginning of that process–it leads to wholeness for the one who makes it.
“We don’t need to be told that such wholeness is rare in our world, for the disparity between what people are like inside and the facade they show to others is often considered necessary for survival. Perhaps you are experiencing that tension yourself right now and know firsthand its frustrations and anxieties. Some of us are further along in the process of being made whole than others, but all believers are on the way. “For in Him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in Him.” (Colossians 2:9-10) It remains for us to become fully integrated personalities by ‘working out’ or expressing externally, what is already internally true in our hearts. (Philippians 2:12-13). This begins by confessing that Jesus is your Lord.”

let January open with joy

Quote

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Shanda

“Since, O sweet Lord Jesus,
Thou art the present portion of Thy people,
favor us this year with such a sense of Thy preciousness,
that from its first to its last day
we may be glad and rejoice in Thee.
Let January open with joy in the Lord,
and December close with gladness in Jesus.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

christmas

Posted on December 26, 2014 by Shanda

Heart. Soul. Mind.

For the busy mama, these important parts of our selves can be run down and dried up over the Happy Holiday season. This is how it has been for me the last few weeks or more. I’m so caught up in the doing, doing, doing, that within me is withered and waiting.

Oh how I yearn and crave a deeper life. Jesus is in my heart and my soul is beautiful because of His saving grace, I know this. I have everything working for me in my innermost being…everything but some free space to breathe.

Even attending church leaves me hungry for “more” because I have children doing strange things next to me every time. I can’t settle down and soak it in like I want to. I’m thankful for a Father God who understands the Mothers He made.

I was reading Les Mis last night. I’m on page 615. And I thought to myself….what a life…..in the time I DO have to breathe, to refresh, what do I do? I read a book. Dusty, musty, silence and stillness. Reading is the place to relax, to gather up the blanket, feel the purring cat at my feet, shut the door in order to silence “Top Gear” from the other room, and read until my eyes are tired.

But reading isn’t CREATING. Reading is taking in and admiring someone else’s creation.

I do love to blog and blogging is creating. Journalling is creating– but I don’t do as much of that. Sewing, baking (but I do too much of that), drawing, what else? (thinking out loud here) Photography…. yes…… I want to do these and more.

Now that Christmas is over I feel myself resolving to do more artistic work, by the grace of God, in order to bring down some water for my thirsty heart, soul, and mind.

cookie-art (tired of it)

Don’t laugh. (I’m talking to myself, because I’m laughing)…..because part of me feels silly as I express this need. Will I make the most of the opportunities that come my way? Or will I read a few more pages of my latest book, too tired to do much else?

A little less sleep, a little less slumber, a little less reading, and little more soul FUN~(I did calligraphy on some of my Christmas cards…which was wonderfully satisfying!)

Creating with the children. They know how to be artistic and inspiring without second guessing. I admire that. Perhaps I should draw on the walls like they do?

Christmas was nice. Certainly it is more work than magic for the parents, but it is a rewarding work. All the shopping, lists, and making sure everything gets done by December 24 can be rather tiresome. (At least there is a deadline.) I love the photo of the stockings; starting with Rich’s, then the children from oldest to youngest, with mine at the end. The tree lights reflecting in the stove look like there is a fire is going. A sweet friend who owns a greenhouse gave us the gorgeous poinsettias, which I keep faithfully watering. Seth made the red handprint green construction paper wreath and the paper chain.

Rich got up out of bed on Christmas morning at 5:30, I asked him why, “I have to go do your stocking.” I gave him enough time and then got up to find that the three littlest ones were also awake. Grace soon followed and tucked herself into her favorite corner of the couch. We sat and waited, the kids tested their limits in exploring the gifts as Rich and I drank coffee with our feet up on the coffee table. Jacob and Ethan woke up next. Our David is the late sleeper and Rich made his yearly torturous joke about how because it’s Christmas we weren’t going to wake him up, “let the poor boy sleep in.” He has been known to sleep all the way until lunchtime so it was a relief when Seth went down to wake him up at 6:30.

We began with the stockings. Rich thought it would be funny to put a pack of rawhide bones in my stocking. At least Parker the dog ended up with something special and it was good to laugh.

Sarah is behind the box. Happiness is being small enough to get lost behind your gifts.

We had the gifts all opened by 7:30 am, but it was done with minimum stress because we tried to do things orderly as possible. David passed out the gifts and we watched the person open it before going on to the next one.

Rich and I went shopping together to get my gifts and I love the two pairs of Swarovski crystal earrings he gave me; one pair also came with a darling ear cuff. I received two books.

Here I am reading the books; one is about playful photography, the other is a photo book of French cats, both books are so so inspiring, which is contributing to my determination to ENJOY life by not only doing my duties, but having creative fun, too. I want to be wild and free at times….I miss that part of my personality….(tips?ideas?anyone feeling the same?)

David loved his soda maker, set of Calvin and Hobbes books, legos, books, and Nerf gun.

Seth’s lego set was somewhat challenging so I was called upon to help him. He was SO SO CUTE.

Frankly, I was surprised by our Caleb, who put “Star Wars lego set” on his list three times (so he got three small sets). What surprised me was that he did not rest until he had put them all together.

Ethan put his box of GAP clothes on right away, with his cross necklace and cologne. Only then did he break open his lego set of the Eiffel tower. I texted brother Dave a picture of it when it was done and he texted back; “I was at the top of it!” Jacob’s set was of the United Nations building. Anyway, the older boys didn’t even ask for legos for the first time in approximately 10 years so I bought them each one set because I was sooooooo sad.

Christmas cat #1, can I just say I am in love with cats again? So many things need to be put on hold when you having the darling BABIES……baby season is over for me so I can think about my kitty cats again. This is Snickers, our oldest, he is probably about 4 years old.

Parker the Dog was exhausted by the time everyone opened their gifts, with so much fuss first thing in the morning. He was glad to have the couch to himself.

I asked Caleb for a picture. (By the way, when the boys do lego sets they keep all the bags organized using my fiesta bowls.)

Christmas cat #2. Sarah, which was a shock to me, hated her feather boa that I gave her. I thought my girly-girl would adore feathers and silver sparkle– but no. She won’t let it touch her. However, Billy Cat loves it. We found him curled up sleeping on it, with a few wet feathers torn off. Evidently he “killed” it before he fell asleep on it.

Rich bought me the softest feeling sweater of my life. This is the only gift which was a surprise. My little Seth received a light saber (another item which we have gifted for years and years to all of our sons). I love this “baby” boy (five years old) and still make him take a nap with me whenever possible. He even has a term of endearment for me. In loving moments he calls me “moo-moo”.

A sight to stop me in my tracks. Caleb snacked on all his stocking candy during his lego-building-time. (pictured next to Grace’s little stack of gifts.) Grace has already completely read the Patricia MacLachlan book, White Fur Flying, which she said was really deep for a little kid’s book. Patricia MacLachlan wrote the beloved Sarah, Plain and Tall and I’ve been buying her books for Grace since she could read. Again, with her at 15 years old, I still couldn’t quite stop buying yet another this year (like the boys and their lego sets).

Happy Dave, busy working on a Transformer.

For my artist son, the dot to dot book was a big hit, along with new Sharpies. The dot to dot is of portraits, with about 1000 dots per picture. He practically needed a magnifying glass to complete them. He loved it.

Ethan was thrilled by his PS3, our family’s very first gaming system. It only came with one controller which was hard for him. He wanted so much for Jacob to be able to play with him. He even went online to see if Target was open on Christmas day so he could go buy one. (it wasn’t, thankfully)

It took Caleb for.ev.er. to figure out his transformer, again; I was impressed by his endurance and the robot finally turned into a hippo.

Christmas cat #3; Snickers again, sleeping under the piano bench. I love how cats can sleep anywhere.

David loves his soda machine. It is perfect present for a young scientist/inventor.

You twist the bottle three times to carbonate the wate, until it makes a funny sound (each time).

Then you add the soda syrup.

Let us talk about the weather in these parts. There was no snow on Christmas Day but……we saw rare sunshine and it was mild enough outside to be welcoming. We all went out for some fresh air.

S U N S H I N E ! ! ! ! ! !

Grace went right into the woods. She’s here someplace, you can’t see her, but she was there, walking quickly like she had a place to go and things to see.

The sparkling ribbon of stream……

Then, I went to say hello to my hens.

They gave their acknowledgments in return, the best they could.

iridescent feathers!

selfie with a (distressed) hen. They tolerate hellos but draw the line at hugs.

Then, Jacob’s Emily came for a quick visit. She came bearing gifts and sparkling good spirit. What a joy she is to us all.

She gave Parker a frosted candy-cane shaped dog treat. She spoils him. Consequently he doesn’t leave her side. (see?) She and Jacob exchanged gifts. Jacob laughed to see the candle because she was with him when he saw it at the store and admired it (it has a wick that sizzles as it burns). She had gone back to buy it for him. She also gave him a handsome black shirt. He gave her a locket.

There were two gifts labeled “To: Jacob and Emily”. The most darling thing was that they opened them at the same time together. Jacob’s hands unwrapped one end, while Emily’s hands opened the other end, perfectly fair like it was the natural thing to do. Their togetherness is so sweet.

Rich gave them books and I gave them matching shirts and socks.

The socks and shirts were from American Eagle men’s department. The socks were men’s *one size fits all* but Jacob could barely get his on and Emily’s were too big and the heels to the socks were about five inches up the backs of her legs. It was quite funny.

Well, I had to get the Christmas Ham into the oven and while I did so, people started falling asleep.

Christmas cat #4; Sherlock the orange cat slept by Rich’s legs.

I did the ham in an oven bag with sweet liquid poured over (ginger ale, maple syrup, honey, etc) pineapple and cherries pinned on with toothpicks.

Well. Over the last week I tried making candied clementines. The recipe said to boil the fruit every day for six days in a sugar syrup (20 minutes each time) and also let sit at room temp. You see the results. Not like the picture in the cookbook. MUCH uglier, like huge orange raisins. They taste okay but only in very small bites. I put them into a container and popped them in the fridge to use for scones, or muffins. It was a fun experiment and I may try again to see if I can do better.

Emily went to her Dad’s house for the rest of the day and at 4 we ate our Christmas feast; ham, homemade rolls, buttered corn, cottage cheese, and scalloped potatoes.

Rich had objected earlier to me doing so much work on Christmas day for our meal but I noticed he asked for “more ham” quite a few times, until as a joke Jacob used the meat fork to put the entire ham on his plate.

“What the Room Looked like Before Throwing Away the Wrapping Paper”

David’s new shirt; “designed to fly”.

(One time he “flew” off the porch with an umbrella!)

Ethan’s new clothes.

He is sixteen and one of the best boys in the world.

Christmas cat picture #5; a nap companion

Thus ends another photo-blog of Christmastime. What a blessing this year has been and how thankful we are for family and friends.

*****

I was able to write this downtown at the coffeeshop with Rich this afternoon. Truth be told, I was irritated by him being gone all morning for wrestling practice and then planning on taking the teens to the movies. The movie was sold out so they had to go to a later showing, which meant I got some HUSBAND TIME! He read his book while I typed, with no distractions, with coffee and chocolate. God knows what we need and will provide, Amen! Thus, my thirsty soul was refreshed and I realized it is MUCH easier to write when I’m not tempted to throw the next load in the washing machine or empty the dishwasher or vacuum or ………….

2 Corinthians 4:16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self his being renewed day by day.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Psalms 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

………….

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

sweetest name I know

Posted on December 3, 2014 by Shanda

Let me tell you about the sweetest name I know.

Recently, a little booklet of printouts came home from school with my Kindergartener. It was titled, “Happy Holidays Throughout the World” and on page one I read this:

“Christmas is a holiday celebrated by members of the Christian faith around the world. This is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who Christians believe is the Son of God.”

His powerful NAME IS in the schools, my friends. He is there in the printed word and in the hearts of those who love him and are serving our children as teachers and helpers. He is in the hearts of the children who trust in Him.

*****

Yesterday I took Sarah Joy to the library and we went straight to the Christmas books. I pulled the books out halfway and dear little Sarah judged them by their covers. We came home with an armful of new books to read. One of them had a picture of Santa reading a book to a lap-full of children and elves. It was titled The Christmas Book of Hope and I read it to Sarah this morning.

“His parents were sick, there was hardly any food, and no joy was found in Timothy’s house as Christmas drew near. Every night he would pray to Jesus for help, but things seemed so hopeless to Timothy……….”

“…….Later that evening, Santa came down the chimney into Timothy’s house, and sitting by the fire were Timothy and his parents. ‘Oh Santa, cried Timothy, ‘My parents are getting better! I think Jesus heard my prayers!’

In the story, one of Santa’s elves wrote Timothy a book of hope, which included this point: “Most importantly, if you believe in Jesus, God will take care of you, especially when times are bad.”

Ironically, I read in a Santa Claus book for children, pulled from our public library, the hope of the world….is Jesus.

(By the way, I don’t believe Santa is any competition for Jesus at Christmas. Jesus wins by far, which is the reason why I don’t make it my mission in life to eliminate Santa from my family at Christmas time.)

*****

I’ve recently had a few days of stress, and what the Lord impressed upon my mind most of all was that Jesus was near, He was around me, comforting me, caring for me, loving me sweetly and gently. He opened my eyes to the abundant life He has given me and I thanked Him.

When I’m stressed out I start to accuse God of not caring enough to make my problems magically vanish away. This is the worst way to deal with problems because the Bible says that everything that happens to a Christian, good or bad, is a planned and purposeful journey for the GOOD of that particular person. If I accuse God, it is treachery to the Very One Who cares for me most of all.

The belief that my faith will give me a perfectly smooth life free from trouble will only cause anxiety in my soul when the stresses of life started pulling me down, down, down.

Truly, life is hard, and there are terribly sad times in life, but the thing about faith in Christ is that He makes the hard parts supernaturally more bearable, because His grace is sufficient and His power is incredible. Jesus is made great and His name is glorified in my weaknesses. For a believer, the peace and comfort that comes from this faith is amazing and comforting. I can let go of the things I cannot control and trust God.

It’s not easy because I am not perfect and there are times of tempting when Satan wants me to doubt my Savior and give up on this beautiful life that seems so pointless at the time. But I have to correct my negative thinking to truth. A good question to ask yourself when you’re thinking a negative thought is: “What is the truth?” And answer that question honestly with the Word of God.

Never blame God for things. Thank Him for his care in your life because without Jesus we would be much much worse off. We would be on the path to certain destruction.

One of the downfalls of an affluent society is that we become spoiled and proud without even realizing it. We lose our feeling of need. My greatest need was for my sin to be washed away, and that was dealt with by the grace of God many years ago. But, personally, I am thankful as I continue to wrestle with my greatest struggles of stress and anxiety, and depression ONLY because it gives me a reason to fall on my face before Christ, ready and waiting for his arms around me to become reality in my soul again. He always tenderly cares for his precious children but how can we realize and thank Him unless we have an idea of our utter dependence?

The Bible says that Jesus said these words to His disciples: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

I love this Scripture because so often we think we need a complex Bible Study, or theological studies that go beyond the simplicity of simply studying Christ Himself. (the study of Christ is the most profound of all.) I believe we should always start everything with a deep and appreciative look at Jesus, our Savior, our Everything.

Over the last few days, I’ve been reading an old favorite book that does an amazing job at explaining the expressions of love that Christ extends to His followers.

A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, by Phillip Keller (highly recommended)

“We live a most uncertain life. Any hour can bring disaster, danger and distress from unknown quarters. Life is full of hazards. No one can tell what a day will produce in new trouble. We live either in a sense of anxiety, fear and foreboding, or in a sense of quiet rest. Which is it?

“Generally it is the ‘unknown,’ the ‘unexpected,’ that produces the greatest panic. It is in the grip of fear that most of us are unable to cope with the cruel circumstances and harsh complexities of life. We feel they are foes which endanger our tranquility. Often our first impulse is simply to get up and run from them.

“Then in the midst of our misfortunes there suddenly comes the awareness that He, the Christ, the Good Shepherd is there. It makes all the difference. His presence in the picture throws a different light on the whole scene. Suddenly things are not half so black or nearly so terrifying. The outlook changes and there is hope. I find myself delivered from fear. Rest returns and I can relax.

“This has come to me again and again as I grow older. It is the knowledge that my Master, my Friend, my Owner has things under control even when they may appear calamitous. This gives me great consolation, repose, and rest. ‘Now I lay me down to sleep, for Thou God keepest me.’

“It is the special office work of God’s gracious Spirit to convey this sense of Christ to our fearful hearts. He comes quietly to reassure us that Christ Himself is aware of our dilemma and deeply involved in it with us. And it is in fact in this assurance that we rest and relax.”

*****

I titled this post “sweetest name I know” because even saying the very name “Jesus” is a sweet prayer of need to a believer. Jesus tenderly cares for His much-loved children. He has blessing and comfort for us, hands that reach out, no harshness, no judging, only pure and perfect love is in His eyes. His disciples leaned against his breast, and that is what we may do as well.

“Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.”

What a picture of closeness, and security!

Sometimes, to get a sense of the love Jesus has for me, I imagine the person I feel safest with next to me in the room. Who do I feel the most love and comfort from? My husband comes to my mind, my parents, trusted friends and family members who have always accepted me no matter what, who would hold and carry me through difficulties, laugh, cry, talk, care about me, ….I think of these people and then realize that Jesus loves me just as they do, but EVEN MORE, FAR MORE than we could even imagine.

There’s within my heart a melody
Jesus whispers sweet and low:
Fear not, I am with thee, peace be still,
in all of life’s ebb and flow.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go.

Luther Bridgers (1884-1948)

tasting goodness

Posted on November 29, 2014 by Shanda

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” Psalm 34:8

Enough snow fell on the day before Thanksgiving that the children have been able to go outside and play with their snow boards and sleds. The sunshine was so bright yesterday that it hurt my eyes.

Still, it is a pleasure to feel the cold on my face, and to breath in the fresh air.

I cautioned the children way too many times to steer AWAY from the trees and pond and road.

David lined his boots with garbage bags.

Our house sits on a hill, a hill steep enough for the children to go down……such a joy for them.

Seth threw a snow ball at his Mama.

He had gloves on that were way to big. In this family, they just grab anything and hope for the best.

Hats, mittens, and gloves stress me out.

We went for a walk around and said hello to the hens.

The children slid down the rock like it was a slide and then I think the chicken tried it, too.

David chased Billy up a tree. Billy went carefully and silently around and around to find the best way to get back down.

He is a smart cat.

Thanksgiving 2014

I planned, I shopped, I fussed, I baked, I did a hundred little things, and then…….it was over.

I am a little tired and blue today, so I decided to blog about our wonderful day, to cheer myself up.

The Lord is good.

My sister said that her heart was warmed, as David gently stirred the pot with her and talked about things.

Later, Jason told me he thought David was so smart and had an engineering type of mind.

My niece Abigail peeled potatoes with Grace. 10 pounds of potatoes.

With a cup of cheer in my hand and my handsome husband. I am so thankful for Rich. Today he caught me before I fell on the ice outside…it took me a few steps to gather my balance and he made me laugh by staying strong and saying dryly, “You okay? This is just like walking with a newborn calf that can’t get his legs under himself!”

On Thanksgiving Day, Abbie turned fourteen.

Grace and Naomi played with their Bitty Babies. Sarah’s room is still a total disaster from all the playing (searching for the doll stuff). Aren’t they adorable? I love everything about this picture.

Handsome brother Isaac, and son Jacob.

Michael came over, too, and there was a game of Monopoly that lasted for hours.

Abbie and Cassandra

My beautiful daughter Grace.

Grace practiced her french braiding skills on Aunt Cassandra.

Rich fell asleep after dinner and clean up. Jason fell asleep in the recliner, too. It’s the smart thing to do on Thanksgiving day.

The children colored with the smelly markers.

Then, it was time for birthday cake. I’m so thankful that we were able to spend the day with Abbie. She’s a beautiful young lady and we are proud of her. It was a blessing to end Thanksgiving day with birthday cake.

also remembering….

early morning phone call from brother Dave
weston got wet in the pond
we took family portraits for christmas cards
sarah wore a red ribbon
i burnt the rolls
but the pies were to die for
we lost sarah outside; it turned out she was with her brother E
aunt amanda made ethan proud of his muscles
laughing over the Andy Griffeth show
we cheered up aunt cassandra because she was sad and missing her family
rich was quiet all day until 9pm. then he went for a run and then wanted to take me out shopping. (no)
jacob dressed up in a tie
food was wonderfully good, so was the drink
seth was especially energetic and was the child most likely to get reprimanded
ending the day with a nice phone conversation with mom and dad

*****

Thanks for stopping by the blog today, friends!
You are loved.