back home

Posted on July 8, 2016 by Shanda

Sarah’s first day back at home after surgery has been a gift. Things like this always make me appreciate the little things in life even more.

When we arrived home, I noticed differences right away.

The morning glories are inches further up the sunflowers.
Gypsy moths are flying around.
My gardens and hanging baskets are dry and need watering.
Raspberries are ripening fast.
The grass was longer.

I know my house, my land, my gardens. My roots go way down.

How to heal a little girl; with snuggles, stuffed animals that fit just right in a small hand, books, back scratches, ginger ale, movies, smiles, brothers and a sister, games, rides in a wheelchair, naps, words of encouragement, leaving the hospital as soon as possible, pain medicine, a nest on the couch, getting clean with a shower, soap, and combed out hair, tempting foods like fresh garden peas and wild raspberries picked by a loving sister and mama.

flowers.

When your big brother comes in the house with a visitor.

And when your mom and dad leave, just for an hour, to go to a library used book sale.

The top six were for her.

surprises, gifts, and blessings

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Shanda

I was going to blog yesterday but ended up with a typical full day even fuller.

My son crashed his bike going fast down the road and we had to get him checked out in the ER just to be sure he didn’t fracture anything and thankfully, he didn’t. He has sprains, aches, scrubs, and pains.

When we got home there were extra people here who Jacob had brought over with him and my husband was away for the night because he has a business meeting in NYC.

I made dinner for 9 teenagers (7 of them boys, 2 girls) and 3 children. And then made milkshakes. We watched a movie (Goosebumps) and it was fun but I have to be honest and say I was really tired by the end of the day and went to bed early, as soon as I put Seth, Sarah, and Caleb to bed. (it was 9pm).

Isn’t the shagbark hickory tree interesting? I came across one the other night as I rambled in the woods.

Just look at the bark shagging = God-art. Living, real, true, and quiet. Never asking for attention. People with the hearts and eyes to see go searching and even then don’t witness all that God does in His creation. But they see enough to feel gratitude, peace, and are fed spiritually.

Just days after I confessed to my sisterinlaw Cassandra that I hate making pie crust, I made pie crust! I just did it differently this time, which is to say without fears, and with confidence. Very quickly the crust was made ( life is exciting, even in the kitchen making pie)

We had quiche for breakfast.

And I made a homemade, *I picked the berries myself and the rhubarb came from the garden*, Strawberry Rhubarb pie for tomorrow! (ethan’s graduation party)

They did this all on their own but I did tell them with the voice of an experienced Mom not to go too far into the woods. Seth and Sarah put on their backpacks. Seth’s had one big water balloon it it (yellow), and Sarah had food in hers. They took along walkie talkies. And left side by side for an adventure! Grace and I watched them from the porch. They did just great and came back before I could worry.

David found a formula on youtube for lightening his hair. It consisted of lemon juice, salt, shampoo, and not sure what else. He did it the other day. I’m not used to it yet but I don’t mind in the least. I like what he does. He also found a walking stick from the woods and has been working on it. Sanding it now and then painting it soon. Look at his toe keeping the stick still.

Seth took one look at dinner (Shepherd’s Pie) and said accusingly, with a grimace, “You put eggs on it.” Home-raised chicken eggs, when scrambled, ARE that yellow, but this was in fact, cheddar cheese.

Table full of loved ones; my kids and my kids’ friends who are also my kids because I love them allllllllllllllll……….

Isn’t she lovely? She made the daisy wreath for her hair and when I saw her walk into the house I said, “Wait let me get my camera” the flower wreath on the door made it even better.

two wreaths when just a moment before I was in the living room tidying up!!!!!

Life is full of surprises, gifts, and blessings!

Some of the surprises aren’t that great though!!!!

milkshakes for everyone

scarlet tanager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another gift. I like to wander down to the end of the yard by the bushes and stream at the end of the day because the sun is still shining on the treetops.

and there are a lot of birds

This morning I witnessed tragedy. I was sitting on the wooden bench on the porch facing the road and the trees across the road. Gypsy moth caterpillars are continuing to eat leaves and Baltimore Orioles are up there eating the caterpillars. I was drinking my coffee in my nightgown and robe and looking through my camera photos with the bird book because I take pictures of any bird I see so I can identify them later on. Well, I heard a *bird scolding sound* and looked up just in time to see this mother oriole chasing a crow up the road. I quickly lifted up my camera and miraculously got a clear picture of them. I wasn’t expecting them to return, but moments later I looked up again just in time to see them SOARING BACK DOWN ABOVE THE ROAD BUT THIS TIME THE CROW HAD A TINY BABY BIRD IN IT’S TERRIBLE BEAK. The mother was still scolding and chasing it out of my sight. I didn’t see them come back.

Seth and Caleb sat on the porch with me while all this was going on.

Then, not only did I get exciting news from my brother, but this package came! All before nine o’clock in the morning.

And now I’m on my way to Costco with Seth while the children clean the house.

Party day is tomorrow!

Happy Friday, my friends.

You are loved.

pancakes for the children (a photo series)

Posted on June 17, 2016 by Shanda

“Tread softly! All the earth is holy ground.”
― Christina Rossetti

blues (a little)

Posted on June 7, 2016 by Shanda

I don’t want to write, because the stuff in my heart will come out through my eyes.

oh, feelings!

My darling, my joy, my pride, my second born, my son, is graduating from high school in four days.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of him, I’m not sad in the least. He is ready, he’s 18 years old and ready to move on to the next chapter in his life.

What I’m grieving is the little boy I used to know. The one who used to pick me flowers and hug me around the waist. The one who was a happy sidekick to his brother Jacob. The one who was busy catching turtles, boiling up the random cray fish, writing funny stories, reading The Series of Unfortunate Events and other books, making rafts, being 100% nature-boy. Dirty bare feet, happy cookie eater, pancake maker, mama’s boy.

Ethan has changed!!!! He is a man, the strong, silent type. When he does speak, I can’t hardly make out what he’s saying because his voice is low and quiet. I say, “What?” and then get it. He’s in love!!!! And his extra attention goes to his girl. I never know what he’s doing unless I outright ask! Sometimes when I think he’s texting his girlfriend, he’s really playing Tiny Tower and that makes me smile, because he recently discovered it again after playing it a lot when he was like, 11. flashbacks!

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He’s 18, of course this is the way it’s supposed to be!! I’m happy for him. He’s a man now and does not need his mama. Rich says, it’s enough for E just to know I am here and proud.

But I miss him.

I have three more younger boys! Who are very similar to how Ethan used to be at that age.

But I miss my E, the way he was as a youngster…..pure goodness, pure sweetness. It went by so fast, I enjoyed every moment, but it went by too fast.

I know he has a lot on his mind, changes ahead that he will be experiencing on his own. He is internalizing a lot these days. But I hope he realizes that he will always be, just a little bit, my own little boy, always. And I vow I’ll be here with the cookies and the pancakes, ’til death do us part.

Ethan took Tessa to his Senior Banquet on Friday and I was able to have some quiet time with them (and the camera). Standing in front of the pond he grew up in.

The natural progression of time……it’s a beautiful thing. Just makes a mama’s heart ache now and then. You know.

He’s so happy with Tessa!

And she’s such a sweet, fun girl. I couldn’t be happier for them both. They make such a good twosome.

*****

With his sister……(Grace went to the banquet with her boyfriend)

Well, once again blogging has surprised me. Writing has surprised me. I’ve got it all sorted out at the moment (my heart, that is).

You’ve got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

You’ve got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

As long as there’s the two of us,
we’ve got the world and all it’s charms.
And when the world is through with us,
we’ve got each other’s arms.

You’ve got to win a little, lose a little,
yes, and always have the blues a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

with seth

Posted on May 13, 2016 by Shanda

I know right away when I love a song……as soon as I hear it, it sort of stops me in my tracks. I travel away into the song, forgetting everything around me….

and this is one of them!

A song for a Friday.

(Grace sent it to me one day in a message through FB.)

Today was Senior Skip day. Ethan made homemade pancakes for breakfast using his Grandma’s recipe for himself and four of his friends. While he was making them, I got ready to go out shopping and then the phone rang. It was the elementary school nurse calling me in regards to Seth. She wanted me to come and get him because he was uncomfortable with an allergic reaction in his eye.

Do any of you have this problem? Or a child with this problem? It’s the dust. It gets in his eye and the eyeball itself swells, sometimes the lid and the “bag” underneath also swells, but the eye gets red and itchy, too. It happens randomly now that it’s springtime and most often when he is on the little league field playing ball in all that dust. I normally do nothing about it but a cool washcloth because it resolves within a few hours, but it does look and feel terrible.

I asked him when I walked him out to the car, “Seth, Mommy was about to go to Target but I suppose you probably can’t go because of your sore eye, right?” And he sighed like a martyr and said, “I can go. It’s just an eye.” “Oh, Seth! Are you sure?” “Yeah”, he says, with that same little sigh but I know very well he’s dying to go to Target with me.

“Why are there so many cars there?”
“Is this the road Aunt Amanda lives on?”
“Can I have batting gloves?”
“Can we go to Dick’s?”
“Can I get a batting helmet?”
“What’s your age plus Dad’s age?”
“Is anyone at home right now?”
“When does David get home?”
“Can we listen to music?”
“Am I going to practice tonight?”
“Are we still in Connecticut?”

He had lots of questions and as is typical, whenever one child is with me, that child talks nonstop to Mom and I sit and drive and smile and listen and my heart….it swells up so big with joy. I say, “You are so cute.” and I reach over to pat their shoulder now and then.

We went to Goodwill first and I actually found a piece of fiestaware. It’s a seamist sugar bowl without the lid. It was super exciting. I also got a springtime wreath for 3 dollars and some other odds and ends.

Mainly, the purpose of the trip was to have fun getting a few summer items for Seth and Sarah. Sarah has grown so much that her last year’s shorts are much too short. I keep saying to her, “Yes you can wear those shorts to school IF you put a skirt on over them.” The one pair of longer shorts she has she refuses to wear because she thinks they are swimming shorts.

Seth found a Land’s End swimming shirt at Goodwill. He says he likes it because it will keep him warm under the water. He also got a pair of swimming trunks (Lego Movie) from Target.

This bottle was 50 cents at Goodwill. I brought it home and put dandelion seeds in it.

We ate chick fil a drive thru for lunch and he said, “Thanks, Mom.” And he also said, while eating, “I bet fries are made of potatoes.” He said this after he noticed the waffle fry had skin on it like a potato. It only took him seven years to figure it out!

He bought a calculator from Goodwill for a dollar and made up math problems to ask me. He was so surprised, stunned really, when I got them right. Mind you, it was first grade math.

When we got home he played baseball for a little while and I planted carrots and sunflowers.

Now he’s snoring on the couch, five minutes after telling me he didn’t want to take a nap.

It’s been a super delightful morning with my Sethie.

i’ll triple the recipe for you

Posted on May 5, 2016 by Shanda

My dear little children,

I love you so much.
I’ll give you all the hugs you want.
I will wash your dirty clothes every day.
I will drive you all over the place.
I will bring your forgotten stuff to school for you.
I will watch your plays and games.
I will laugh at you, and with you.
I will take many pictures of you, because I think you are cute.
I will let you stay up late sometimes.
I will read you books.
I will nurture you.
I will triple the cookie recipe for you.

That’s a lot of cookies.

seven years ago

Posted on February 2, 2016 by Shanda

Seven years ago today I was about ready to give birth to baby boy number five.

Today is super exciting because not only is it Seth William’s birthday but it is also our school’s 100 day AND groundhogs day AND Seth is having a friend get off the bus at our house after school to play until wrestling practice.

“Seth, you’re going to be really happy and excited today so try hard not to let yourself get into trouble” were my words of advice as I hugged him goodbye this morning.

Dad said that winter is over, the ground hog didn’t see his shadow. Hurray!

Sarah had to take 100 of something/anything to school and I sent her with a puzzle that was 100 pieces, she wasn’t that thrilled because she doesn’t like pigs. “They are made out of meat and wolves eat them.” she explained.

So far today:

1. Got kids ready for school, took shower, got dressed for a meeting and then remembered it was happening tomorrow.

2. welcomed Kevin into the house to repair Grace’s ceiling.

3. watched an episode of The Good Wife while folding clothes and matching socks.

4. Went out shopping. First stop: Goodwill

what I bought:

Harry Potter book on cd which the kids are going to LOVE
Angelina Ballerina hardcover book for our family library
an old frame with an oval mat
a nature book
and two dresses, one for me and one for G…guess what, April? One is Garnet Hill and one is Boden!

This dress is Grace’s. The sleeves are 3/4 length and gathered at the ends. Both dresses are made from a soft knit and are currently spinning around in the washer with hopes that I have time to dry them outside on the clothesline by the end of the day.

This one is mine. The lengths on each dress fall just below the knee.

5. After Goodwill (I also bought a very much needed bookcase for G’s room) I went to the Tractor Supply for bird seed, chicken feed, and cat food.

6. Costco for Seth’s birthday cake and groceries

7. Starbucks for a coffee and a snack

8. Arrived at home and Michael helped me put everything away.

9. went to coop to gather (1) egg and feed the hens.

10. hung laundry on clothesline for the second time this week (it’s about 45 degrees here and sunny)

11. made homemade spaghetti sauce with a big 6 pound can of tomatoes that I got at Costco today. I blended them smooth and poured them in a big pot over 5 cloves of minced garlic and a chopped onion, added pepper and dried basil. Now it will simmer for a few hours and I will make homemade meatballs. What with Sarah needing to reduce sodium I am noticing salt in many of the food goods I’ve purchased in the past. For many years I’ve obsessed about sugar and now it’s salt I have to be concerned about. Thankfully there is a simple solution…like make everything yourself (spaghetti sauce) instead of buying processed foods. The can of tomatoes I bought had only 1% of the daily allowance of sodium and since I’m putting some salt in the meatballs I am not adding any to the sauce.

12. Put away groceries

13. That’s it.

This is dear sweet Seth opening one of his gifts this morning. He received legos, glow in the dark plastic dinosaurs, and a Snoopy video game. Sarah was happy because she helped me chose a couple of the gift from the hospitals gift shop while we were there a few weeks ago. She was so happy that she told Seth they were legos before he opened them.

b184595536

Seven years ago.

seven hours

Posted on January 27, 2016 by Shanda

In the morning the sea is so calm! The sea of my life, that is. After I get the children off to school, I have peace and quiet for seven.whole.hours. The following six hours will be nonstop action and busy, but seven.whole.hours. It’s quite strange, actually. I do all my morning chores with no interruptions! (Jacob is usually home until about 10 but he doesn’t do anything but sleep, take a shower, have a short conversation with me, and then leave.)

The laundry gets done! The rooms get clean enough! I can do anything!

But it’s not as fun without the children around, not as lively! That’s the part that is strange. I’ve almost forgotten how to live quietly. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. There is a time and season for every purpose under heaven. I thank God for this new stage of life, I thank God that Sarah is healthy again, Jacob is settling into college and work, and the rest of the children are all doing well. I love having the extra time to get things done for my family and even having time alone to do things for myself. It’s a privilege that I am very, very grateful for.

Amongst other things, I’ve been taking pictures of my cats.

“What.”

“You folded the laundry but you didn’t put it away. I thank you.”

Sleeping as though dead.

“I’m so pretty.”

“Yawn.”

“You made the bed. I thank you.”

“I thought I heard something.”

“Drinking water on the counter from a turquoise fiesta bowl. I thank you.”

(Sherlock is a very appreciative cat.)

“They say I have the prettiest whiskers”

“Waiting for the bus.”

I realized my nail polish matched my cat.

*********

Today I sewed a couple of potholders.

“Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than to learning to like your own company.”

so awesome

Posted on August 28, 2015 by Shanda

But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing his songs,
praying to God who gives me life. Psalm 42:8

But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are like a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.

2 Corinthians 2:14-15

“Anne smiled and sighed. The seasons that seemed so long for baby Rilla were beginning to pass all too quickly for her. Another summer was ended, lighted out of life by the ageless gold of Lambardy torches. Soon….all too soon….the children of Ingleside would be children no longer. But they were still hers…hers to welcome when they came home at night…hers to fill life with wonder and delight…hers to love and cheer and scold…a little.” Anne of Ingleside, page 156

Yesterday was a big day in my life.

It was the first day of school and for the first time in over 18 years I have no babies home with me.

It’s a funny thing, though. My firstborn, Jacob, starts community college on Monday, so really I wasn’t home alone at all.

I’m right back where I started from, home with just Jacob.

Yesterday we went to Bible study and he drove me……

Today we are going to the college to purchase his last needed text books and we just might stop by Target, too.

*****

And by the way, little Sarah ran off the bus into my arms yesterday after school yelling, “That was so awesome!!!”

She was rather full of herself for the rest of the day.

finding

Posted on August 23, 2015 by Shanda

And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name. 1 Chronicles 29:13

They didn’t know I was taking a picture with my phone.

Dave could not find his shoes and had to wear his Dad’s big white size 13s into the store.

We stopped at Barnes and Noble at about 7:30, on our long-long drive home from Georgia.

Rich and I lined them up on the curb so we could give instructions and information to everyone at once, rather than 6 times (forgetting the seventh, which is typical–SOMEONE gets missed!oops).

The instructions were: 1. Everyone needed to use the bathroom. 2. Everyone may pick out something to read.

The news was: 1. We were driving all the way home without stopping at a hotel to sleep.

We arrived home early this morning at 4:30.

My favorite memory of traveling was at about 2 in the morning when they had taken little naps, gotten over the grumps, and had a second wind of cheer. Singing to the radio, telling funny stories to classical music, watching a video. At 2 a.m.!! Such good little travelers.

Rich singing every hymn he could think of to himself while flying down the highway in the fast lane……me half enjoying it and half plugging my ears so I could concentrate on my new cheap paperback. Hanging on and whispering prayers.

Rich, by the grace of God, is raising up some good young men. This is our Ethan. He loves Jesus, being active, sports. He doesn’t talk much. He can dance some cool moves. He is confident, respectful, honest, and doesn’t take any slack from his younger siblings. My favorite memories of Ethan from vacation are 1. When he pulled himself up over a high wall to retrieve the volleyball we had hit way out of bounds. and 2. When he walked out of McDonalds holding Seth’s hand on one side and Sarah’s on the other. Be still my heart.

My mom loved vacationing with all of her children and grandchildren, but she was itching to get back to her garden.

I’m just like her. My garden is much smaller but the first thing I did today after I woke up at 11am was go outside with my cup of coffee.

I knew where to find some treasures. Some were obvious, like the bright red tomatoes. But others, like the cucumbers and green beans, were hidden and had to be searched out.

For brunch I made a quiche.

chopped bacon fried with a section of minced onion and one green pepper

added to 8 beaten eggs, 1/2 cup sour cream, 1/2 cup milk

2/3 cup mozzarella cheese, 1/2 cup cheddar

1/4 tsp pepper, a few nice healthy grinds of salt from salt-grinder

all leaves from the two beets I harvested (can substitute 3 cups chopped lightly packed fresh spinach)

fresh basil, chopped (about 1/3 cup)

about 1/3 cup tomato

Bake in the oven for about 25 minutes or until set.

I served it with the rest of the garden tomato, mixed with salt, olive oil, onion, and basil.

***

I almost shrieked when Tessa told me school started this Thursday. I thought I had one more solid week with the children. My heart aches because Sarah Joy is going off for her first day of Kindergarten. Mothers understand what I mean….I’m happy for her, I know she’s ready, but as a mom I feel that small sad-like feeling of letting go. Rich read Seth and Sarah letters from their teachers, which were in the mailbox when we got home from vacation. Their little faces were seriously listening to every word. They have homework to do, and a meet and greet on Wednesday. I don’t quite feel ready, but I’m thankful for this journey with my children and that little by little they grow up, not all at once. Thankful for Jesus and for my husband making it easier.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

“I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me.” Proverbs 8:17

gifts-peace-love-seeking and finding the greatest treasure–HIM