shame

Posted on March 18, 2015 by Shanda

A little confession for you: I’m a try-hard Christian at times (more times I care to admit). And then, every once in a while (about once a week) I get knocked to my knees in desperation because I simply cannot be a good girl (no surprise there, why not just learn this lesson??). I open my mouth and the attitude and words that pour forth are shameful. I want to be a good example to my children but daily I fail. On Saturday my heart was rotten, I was thinking wretched thoughts, feeling the most grumbly of feelings…..Rich and I had to run errands and as I scribbled in my journal in the car, I began to cry and the words gushed out to my dear husband….he sensed the despair and recognized it for what it was, condemnation. I was reacting to my failings all the wrong way, by condemning myself and my religion. “What’s the point of being a believer if I have to continually struggle against myself and LOSE?” I cried, “When I discover a fault in myself, or my own faults and sin are exposed to everyone around me I feel so much shame and blame my religion.” Then I get upset because of the time I am putting into self-evalutation and my thoughts run like this: “You have so much pride. You are not a good Christian at all. What is wrong with you? Despair, cry, give up!”

Rich, in seeing the way I was beating myself up, encouraged me to think positively, to remember the gifts God has given to me and the very special ways he has created me. But I couldn’t. It was too much self-focus once again. I took up my daily Bible reading and said, “The answers will be here, I know it. I just need to read this.”

My testimony is this: In whatever situation I am facing, the Lord is right there with comfort, teachings, and rebuke, if only I take up my Bible and read it. If only I see and hear what He has to communicate to me. He is so faithful! This weekend I read aloud in the car about the time that God made Balaam’s donkey speak. An angel was blocking the way and the donkey could see it but Balaam could not. Three times he lost his patience with the animal and beat him in anger and frustration.

Rich told me I was doing to myself what Balaam was doing to the poor donkey. Beating myself unnecessarily. It was so funny I had to laugh. Listen:

“What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times?” says the donkey to Balaam, and says myself to myself.

“You have made me look like a fool! If I had a sword with me I would kill you!” Says Balaam to the donkey, and says myself to myself.

But then Balaam comes to understand what is happening and is full of remorse, and Rich applied the passage and told me I have to stop beating my ass. (!)

Balaam goes on to say to King Balak, who wanted him to curse the Israelites for him, “God has blessed and I cannot reverse it.”

THIS IS THE ANSWER. Praise God in Jesus that He has saved my soul and there is NO condemnation to those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1. My heart sings. He has blessed and in no way is that blessing ever going to be reversed!

Rich reminded me that what I was feeling, that wretched feeling, was my own personal fight against the flesh, which is something that ALL believers face. It hurts sometimes, until we remember that we have the victory in Christ Jesus.

It was pretty amazing, because my testimony continues, in the mailbox that very day….we received this month’s issue of Tabletalk magazine with the main topic this month being SHAME. Article after article, all written seemingly for ME and my heart’s struggles. Food for the soul, truth for the doubting one.

“Jesus lived and died not only for the guilt of our sin but for the shame of our sin.”

“If we live each day bearing the shame of yesterday, and we’re worried about the shame of tomorrow, we will never experience the joys of abundant life in Christ today. Let us lift our weary eyes from gazing upon our shame and fix our eyes on Christ, the author and finisher of our faith.”

“Shame is not the final conclusion we make about ourselves.”

“The end of Christian identity is righteousness, not shame.”

“Shame is made manifest by isolation, self protection, self-hatred, self-destruction, self-preservation, and the illusion of control.”

“Satan’s voice will lead to shame, but God’s voice will lead to glory.”

“Our shame begins to unravel as we see His dear person and know His matchless work to be our own. United to Him by faith through the Holy Spirit, our whole position changes. Redeemed and reconciled to our heavenly Father by the Son of His love, the basis of our true shame is dealt with and our alienation removed.”

So, my own struggle with trying hard is dealt with like everything else is dealt with, through the cross and the gospel. Praise Jesus! I will feel the fight at times, I will feel shame, but I am not left there….He leads me along into the glorious truths of what Christianity is all about, Jesus and His righteousness which He so generously bestows on all who believe in Him. This world is not my home, I’m just passing through……and by grace I will say, like Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

wholeness

Posted on February 24, 2015 by Shanda

a simply lovely life

I am so thankful this morning for the freedom I enjoy in simply being me. Knowing that God sheds His grace over me and that nothing I do or say can change His love for me and mine. Knowing that there is less anxiety *in being myself*, than there is in being who I think others want me to be. Through faith in Jesus Christ, I have assurance of everlasting life, and this is the hope I have for my soul. In living this life, He is the One who leads me all the way. Day by day he changes me into His image, slowly, carefully, gently, lovingly. His children are His precious ones, and not one is lost. It is because of His great mercy that we are not consumed.

“It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” Romans 9:16

I have choices, I have a mind, I have a wisdom that knows what my needs are, and what the needs of my husband and family are. There is still a sacred privacy and security within the family unit, and nothing is worth injuring what we share together. It is the same for everyone. Don’t underestimate what you know in your logical mind to be true. I am often guided by my feelings and by the fear of man, but what the Lord has been showing me lately is that I need to be guided by common sense, wisdom, and His Word, the Bible.

I have freedom and every right to make a decision or have a belief contrary to what others may expect or want. In the rare instances that a friend doesn’t understand or agree, I don’t have to be afraid, I can trust in the peace-making promises of grace and love, knowing that my friends accept and respect me, regardless, as I do for them as well. We can enjoy the freedoms that belong to each and every one of us.

Caleb asked me to take this picture. Parker the dog is his friend and Caleb does a wonderful job of taking care of him, playing with him, sharing his food, and making sure his water bowl is filled. Sometimes if I put the dog downstairs, Caleb feels so sorry for him that he goes, too.

Sarah is getting better and better at the matching game. If I miss a match she reassures me by saying what I say to her, “Don’t be sad, you just need to think about it and remember where it is!”

Just for the fun of it David shut all the cats in the bathroom and then we took a picture, which was very very hard to do. Billy kept leaping away with a yowl.

Homemade donuts on Saturday night.

Emily reading to Seth and Sarah.

Davy had his braces put on yesterday. Oh the hardship of a 12 year old getting used to a mouth full of metal. He has been very brave, especially considering he was not mentally prepared for it at all because I thought he was getting spacers put in and we would only be at the orthodontist for five minutes. He was in the chair for over an hour. Oh my darling son. Your smile is beautiful and someday it will be even more so.

grape jelly meatballs for the son who requested them for dinner.

A tiny chickadee selected a seed and then flew away with it…

cozy cat

I made a dozen muffins for lunch. If you let them rest in the pan for 10 minutes they fall right out of the muffin tin.

Rich is working from home today.

I took this picture of Sherlock through the beveled glass in the door.

Knitting a white dishcloth for Joanna.

Right after I asked Rich if he was going to eat his muffin (it had been on his plate for an hour), Parker stealthily walked around the coffeetable, picked it up with his teeth, and went over to the kitchen to eat it on the rug.

These are the next three books I plan to read. I picked these out without reading reviews so I have no idea (besides the back covers) if they will be delicious. I sure hope they are.

I spent some time getting ready for Bible Study tomorrow and I loved this quote from my book on Romans:

“Think about integrity. To be whole, a genuinely integrated person, is to be the same inside and outside. What you are must be what others see, and what you say should synchronize with what you really believe. Jesus Christ not only saves us from our sins and assures us of eternal life with Him, He also puts together all the bits and pieces of our lives. The Christian life is a process. Making a verbal confession of faith is the beginning of that process–it leads to wholeness for the one who makes it.
“We don’t need to be told that such wholeness is rare in our world, for the disparity between what people are like inside and the facade they show to others is often considered necessary for survival. Perhaps you are experiencing that tension yourself right now and know firsthand its frustrations and anxieties. Some of us are further along in the process of being made whole than others, but all believers are on the way. “For in Him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in Him.” (Colossians 2:9-10) It remains for us to become fully integrated personalities by ‘working out’ or expressing externally, what is already internally true in our hearts. (Philippians 2:12-13). This begins by confessing that Jesus is your Lord.”

quotes about love with pictures of the kids

Posted on November 13, 2014 by Shanda

“Our days are happier when we give people a piece of our heart instead of a piece of our mind.” anonymous

Sarah is outside. She saw the frost on the grass and asked for boots. I keep looking out the door to check on her, in fact I just sat down after leaning outside and calling her name. “I’m right here,” she answered in her little girl voice. “Okay! What are you doing?” “I’m tasting frozen stuff,” she replied while taking long licks from a bark-less stick. “Tastes like sugar! Wanna taste?”

We are thankful that we don’t have to go anywhere today. On Monday, we took Caleb to his Doctor’s check up. On Tuesday, I took David to an orthodontist appointment. He will be getting braces soon. Yesterday, we went to Community Bible Study for the day. Tomorrow we are serving Rich’s team a lunch here at home and going to the hair salon. But today? Today is gloriously free. I like being busy, but I like having mornings in my pj’s, too, tip tapping on the old keyboard, saying hello to anyone who may stop by here today……..

Veteren’s Day was Tuesday and the children were home from school. In the afternoon, I took my camera outside.

I recently read a wonderful book titled, The Greatest Thing in the World, by Henry Drummond. It was a book from our bookshelf, but it’s also a free book on the kindle. I underlined quite a lot of quotes that I wanted to share with pretty pictures. (pretty pictures that capture moments, not an entire day, we were not without a few ugly moments, too, but all in all the day was a wonderful one…..I love having all the children home).

“Have you ever noticed how much of Christ’s life was spent
in doing kind things–in merely doing kind things? Run over it with
that in view and you will find that He spent a great proportion of His time simply in making
people happy, in doing good turns to people.”

****

“Where Love is, God is. He that dwelleth in Love dwelleth
in God. God is love. Therefore love. Without distinction,
without calculation, without procrastination, love.”

“The most obvious lesson in Christ’s teaching is that
there is not happiness in having and getting anything,
but only in giving.”

“It is better not to live
than not to love.”
(Luke 17:2)

Do not grudge the hand that is moulding the still too shapeless image
within you. It is growing more beautiful though you see it not, and
every touch of temptation may add to its perfection.
Therefore keep in the midst of life.
Do not isolate yourself.
Be among men, and among things, and among troubles,
and difficulties, and obstacles.”

“Talent develops itself in solitude, character in the stream of life.”

“We love Him; we love all men. We cannot help it. Because
He loved us, we love; we love everybody.
Contemplate the love of Christ, and you will love.
Stand before that mirror, reflect Christ’s character,
and you will be changed into the same image from tenderness to tenderness.”

“Now abideth faith, hope, love, but the greatest of these is love.”

“You will give yourselves to many things, give yourselves first to love.”

“You will find as you look back upon your life
that the moments that stand out,
the moments when you have really lived,
are the moments when you have done things
in a spirit of love.”

“The test of religion, the final test of religion,
is not religiousness, but Love….not what I have done,
not what I have believed, not what I have achieved,
but how I have discharged the common charities of life.”
(yes!)

***

It’s taken me hours to write this. Sarah came inside and we read some library books together. Now she is in the bath. I’m sitting cross legged on the closed toilet watching her play. Grace’s rabbit is in the bathroom with us enjoying some time out of her cage. She keeps trying to arrange a towel into a nest with her front paws and teeth.

The sun is shining and soon Sarah’s frost will be melted away.

gentle mothering, resting, & walking

Posted on October 27, 2014 by Shanda

Retire O my soul!

from the busy world,

and employ thyself about that

which thou wast created:

The contemplation of God.

Thomas Ken, 1637-1711

Being satisfied in God is our calling and our duty. ~Piper

Put the glory of Christ on display
by pursuing your JOY
in the HOLY JOY
of your beloved.
~Piper

…let me not wander…
…open my eyes…
…make me understand…
…incline my heart…
…turn my eyes…

from Psalm 119

Oh my friends, I have missed being here, I could have used my iPhone to post a note but I truly believed that the computer fix would only take a couple of days. Thankfully, it is has been repaired and my husband went to pick it up for me on Saturday.

How have you been? Here at our place we have been enjoying yet another beautiful autumn season, and the trees are almost bare. There are still bits of color, however, in the few remaining leaves and bright red berries.

Rich was gone the week after Aunt Colleen and Uncle Roger left and whether I was over tired or it was just the wrong time of the month, it was a tough week for me, I found myself a tad short tempered.

Finding myself being *a little too harsh* with a couple of the children that week convicted me once again of my firm belief in gentle mothering. It’s been a nice reminder to keep my eyes on my heavenly Father; he is kind, loving, patient, understanding, and a protector of the weak ones, and that is how I ought to be for my own children. I am thankful for forgiveness and the opportunity to continue nurturing my children, instead of using harsh words and being impatient. The reality is, we will all have tough days now and then, but in general a loving approach to motherhood is what we strive for.

Feeling so rushed and busy also got me to thinking about REST, and amazingly enough the Lord (gently) led me to a wonderful book that described rest, not only as mere contentment in a quiet place, stagnant, but contentment and calm IN THE MIDST OF STORMS because I trust God. This is completely possible in Christ and I think we all know of the supernatural calm in storms that we see in the believers around us who are in various trials.

“Two painters each painted a picture to illustrate his conception of rest. The first chose for his scene a still, lone
lake among the far off mountains. The second threw on his canvas a thundering waterfall, with a fragile
birch-tree bending over the foam; at the fork of a branch, almost wet with the cataract’s spray, a robin sat on its
nest. The first was only Stagnation; the other was Rest. For in rest there are always two elements–tranquility and energy,
silence and turbulence, creation and destruction, fearlessness and fearfulness. This it was in Christ.”
Henry Drummond

I read that quote on the way to church yesterday, and then the sermon that was preached was also greatly encouraging. The title was “Remembering God, or Regularly Scheduled Neglect of a belligerent World for the sake of our own Soul…..” and the main points were from Psalm 119, a long and complex musical poem written by a psalmist who spent much skill, time, and deep contemplation in writing it, by the inspiration of God. The angels long to understand the Scriptures, do I? Do I take the time in deep thought about my God and His Word?

“The Scriptures are to be treasured as from God.”

Listening to the sermon made me think of the book I just read about Grandma Gatewood, a 67 year old mother of 11, grandmother, and great-grandmother, who walked the appalachian trail three times (at the age of 67 and older). In the book, the merits of long walks and hikes are explained. One of the benefits of walking is that it is good for mental health, and the fresh air and easy pace contribute to deep thinking and alone time…..Grandma Gatewood readily admitted that those long weeks of walking were among the very best weeks of her life. What better way to spend time alone with God, in walking outdoors in his very creation?

In short; I am currently enjoying: a renewed spirit within me, a desire to allow the Lord to keep my soul in rest even as I busily care for my family, and a determination TO WALK MORE.

On Saturday Rich and I took the children (Jacob, Grace, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah) on a four mile walk all the way to the local diner, over back roads. David was tired and Ethan had a report to write, so the two of them stayed at home.

It was a beautiful morning to walk and it took us a little over 2 hours.

a fun place to rest

happy little Seth

Caleb in the trees

someone’s pretty flowers by their mailbox

a bright red barn

cherries

bittersweet

cute pumpkin people on someone’s front steps

view from a small bridge

the prize was a nice big lunch at the diner

After Rich ate, he ran the 2 miles back home (on the main roads) to get the truck. The little ones didn’t have the strength to make another long walk back home.

In other news:

my son Jacob, and his girlfriend
at the homecoming dance on Saturday night.

*****

Have a wonderful day my friends!

“Forever, O Lord, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens. Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast.” Psalm 119:90

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our heats through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5

you are loved.

now I see

Posted on July 14, 2014 by Shanda

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now am found

was blind but now I see.

My heart is so full that tears are ever ready today, after a weekend back home in my hometown. I saw old familiar faces, felt their arms of love around me, heard words of encouragement and truth, celebrated young love, sung to favorite songs on the radio played loud, attended church, ate Country Store subs made by someone who knew who I was “back then”, travelled those old roads that lead back home, to the farm land, the parents, the aunts, the cousins, the friends.

Sadly, I was without my Rich, my companion and friend, lover, bed mate, and The One who has put me by his side for the last 21 years. He was here at home with the little ones, but never far from my thoughts as I drove Grace, Sarah, Jacob, and Emily to NY for Cassandra’s bridal shower. I sat behind the wheel and away we went on Saturday morning….driving around three hours to the church for the shower. Emily said, she loved road trips. And when she said that, it reminded me to enjoy it, too!

Once we arrived, Jacob and Emily walked on foot to the pizza place that Rich and I used to go to on dates, for lunch, and to the High School to explore the playground and stream (the school I attended, and Rich, too). So crazy fun to see Jacob doing just the things we used to enjoy. With his girlfriend. (!!)

Grace, Sarah, and I had a wonderful time at the bridal shower, held for my future sister in law, who is marrying my youngest brother, Isaac.

“to love another person is to see the face of God” ~ Les miserables

Isaac and Cassandra are so sweet together!!

After the shower, we picked up J and E and went to my mom and dad’s house for the rest of the day.

Jacob stayed the night with them while I took the girls to the Comfort Inn to sleep.

Sunday morning we checked out of the motel and went to church, meeting Jacob there.

It was so wonderful to sit next to Colleen, Jacob, Emily, Sarah, Grace, and Madeline for the service. Church was a beautiful experience, to be back in my original church family made me remember so many things, and a wave of nostalgia swept over me.

After church we picked up subs and went back to mom and dad’s where we sat on the front porch and ate our food, while the rain poured down. Emily and Sarah jumped in warm puddles in their bare feet.

We stayed until 6pm, and drove back home Sunday night, arriving safe and sound (and with a gorgeous golden sunset) at 10:30pm.

I saw a very cool fly from the blueberry patch at my parent’s house. It was actually holding a tiny green bug in it’s jaws. I’ve come to learn that if an insect stays still, and lets me get close, it’s usually because it doesn’t want to let go of it’s latest catch.

My mom with her little Granddaughter~

We all wore yellow shirts.

Sarah was so precious. When she was tired she simply curled up with someone and slept. Here she is on my lap. Watching your own sleeping little one is one of the many “grace moments” in life.

Dad and Jacob played drums on Sunday afternoon. OH HOW I LOVE MY DAD…….

JACOB NEVER WANTS TO LEAVE GRANDMA’S HOUSE!

We helped mom and dad with the gravel entry to the blueberry patch, in preparation for the wedding reception next month.

We also helped them get their bedroom ready for a remodel, looked through a lot of family photos, and did the things we always love to do; go for walks, talk, listen to music. Oh, and Jacob showed his grandparents all of his card tricks and they were a very satisfying audience.

Thankful for:

a safe trip
a son learning to grow, and be a good example
creativity (he made a new recipe for pancakes by adding a tablespoon of cocoa powder to his Grandma’s recipe, and chocolate chips)
my husband coming home early from work and the time we were able to spend together, in quiet, in each other’s arms
the sight of sleeping pets (make the house so cozy)
rain (I went out and walked in it, why are we so afraid to get wet?) the pond was jumping with water drops
it curled my hair
watching Les Mis with Grace, and being awed once again by law and grace (without that taskmaster-law, we would never be overwhelmed with beautiful grace)!! I realized that this life is full of little law/grace pictures….that point to Jesus.
my five year old learning to ride his two wheeler and being so thoughtful in asking me to watch him, a lot
fresh peas in the garden
bachelor buttons beginning to bloom
a little girlie who wakes from her nap and immediately finds her mama
Mike taking Jacob, Grace, and Emily to VBS and saving us the trip
Ethan on vacation with Chris and Caroline and their children (his best friends)

and most of all……

God’s grace and salvation through Jesus Christ, Who miraculously opens blind eyes and turns cold hearts into hearts bursting with adoration for HIM, and this abundant life He gives.

One last picture before we got into the car to head home.

works vs. grace

Posted on June 26, 2014 by Shanda

Having “been there and come back”, nothing irritates me more than self righteous people (of whom I used to be one) who think they know all the answers about non-essential issues like family size, clothing, church attendance, music, and what-have-you. Actually, their beliefs don’t bother me as much. It’s the judgmental attitude that looks down on anyone who doesn’t believe the same way, or the trying, in a condescending, legalistic way to teach/enlighten others on “the truth”. I hate even bringing it up in blog-land. I believe it is a shame of the church that pretty much every denomination deals with….judging one another and trying to manipulate our own sanctification process. But I think it is important to talk about because this is the reason that we need to meditate more on the concept of grace, and also the reality of the LOVE of God toward sinners. I want to say what C.S. Lewis said, “Go further up and further in” … the life of a genuine, humble believer is just that—beautiful, attractive, lovely, not freakish or proud. Honestly, we all naturally suffer from making mistakes in our lives and speech (the Lord knows I often say or react in ways that are not very lovely) but IN GENERAL, I want to be the person who accepts, loves, listens, nurtures, and I want to go to a church where I feel safe and accepted, where the burdens of life are lifted for a while in the praise and adoration of my Savior (I am thankful that we do go to a church like that).

My mind and soul have been meditating on the grace and love of God because, really, these truths are the blessed antidote to the poison of self-righteousness and religiosity that looks to human good works rather than accepts the fact that we all NEED HIM for our everything, always. I search my Bible, books, and journals for the sweet truths of Christ that He has led me to through the years; and this Christian life is simple and beautiful. His ways are rest and peace, his burdens are light, He carries us in His loving arms and oh sometimes I just cannot seem to wait for the day when I am done with this life and on to glory-land!

Helpful words::

This is from the book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen:

“In a works-righteousness system, if you stumble under the load you are carrying, the ministry you will receive will not be mercy and grace. You will not hear Matthew 5:3, ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit’–that is, ‘Blessed are those who recognize they can’t carry the load,’–‘for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Rather, you will be encouraged to ‘try a little harder’ and ‘do a little more.’ In some cases you may be shamed for ‘not being committed enough’.

There is also performance-based Christianity, a most common malady among Christians. It manifests itself this way. After having understood the truth of Ephesians 2:8-9—‘For by grace you have been saved…..’–and having had the load of sin removed for salvation, we then lay on a load of personal performance for sanctification, service, and to receive further blessings.

It works something like this. We are very careful to help people understand that Jesus is their only hope for salvation. ‘He saved us, not the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy’ (Titus 3:5) But for successful Christian living, we give the same message they had to reject in order to get saved. ‘Just do it’ ‘Try hard.’ ‘Do more.’ ‘It’s up to you.’ We pile up a load of expectations, regulations, formulas and rules. Almost without noticing, we begin to live the same way we did before we met Jesus, hoping that with all our effort we will someday, some way, measure up. But we never do measure up; we continue to carry the load and call it ‘the abundant life.’

This dynamic is really not that hard to spot. In a performance-based system, you will be the bearer of the burden. In a grace-based system, you will be constantly directed to Jesus as your only hope, encouraged to rest in Him as your only source of life and power.”

*******

Come to the waters,
whoever is thirsty;
drink from the Fountain that never runs dry.
Jesus the Living One, offers you mercy,
life more abundant in boundless supply.

Come to the River that flows through the city,
forth from the throne of the Father and Son.
Jesus the Savior says, ‘Come and drink deeply.’
Drink from the one, inexhaustible One.

Come to the fountain without any money;
buy what is given without any cost.
Jesus, the gracious one, welcomes the weary:
Jesus, the selfless one, died for the lost.

Come to the well of unmerited favor;
Stretch out your hand; fill your cup to the brim.
Jesus is such a compassionate Savior.
Draw from the grace that flows freely from Him.

Come to the Savior, the God of Salvation.
God has provided an end to sin’s strife.
Why will you suffer the Law’s condemnation?
Take the free gift of the water of life.

James Montgomery Boice, 2000

Nothing shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:19

Many hear God say, ‘do more’ and ‘do better’. But not, ‘Ive done it all for you-rest.
Yet this is what Jesus meant when He said, ‘Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden….
Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me…..
for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Randy Alcorn

….to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace….. Romans 8:6

Surely the Lord is my help; God is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4

******

I realize that I cannot articulate what is in my heart properly, but I wanted to share the best way I could, some of the things that I’m thinking about these days. My friends, you are loved and acceptable. Rest in Christ today. I have little ones playing outside. David caught a crayfish and wants to eat it, Jacob and Ethan are painting Grace’s room as she reads a book, a soccer game is playing loudly on the TV. I am going to get to work in the kitchen, to make a big corn-chip salad (our favorite summer lunch) and perhaps some pizza dough, too.

Have a great day!

glorious colors of fall

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Shanda

a simply lovely life

Hello, my friends. I hope and pray that you are having a good day so far and that you sense that God is near to you, as He truly is. He loves His children so very much and is delighted with the ins and outs of what makes each one of us uniquely His creation. He knows every detail and desire of our heart. It is amazing to me that we can go to our Father with anything, any struggle, any longing, and He will listen and answer in the very best way that we need. I can trust Him with my life, and the lives of all my loved ones. There is so much security and contentment in His care.

I was outside this morning for a little while with Seth and Sarah. I took a blanket and my Bible study lessons out with me and watched the children play as I made a few phone calls. I sat under a tree that was nothing but red leaves. The sky is clear and blue today, and the sun was shining brilliantly through those leaves, making them looking like little stained glass windows from nature. We didn’t last long outside. Seth and Sarah were on the see-saw and Seth got off his end, causing Sarah to slam down on the ground. She was very upset, and wet, too, from playing in the pond, so we went back inside. I dried her off and gave her and Seth each a plate with grapes and graham crackers. I turned on one of their little shows and took a few minutes to myself. I went outside with my camera and back down to that beautiful red tree………

I thank you God
for this amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of the trees,
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything that is natural,
which is infinite,
which is yes.

ee cummings

And then, down to a yellow one by the pond.

I do so treasure the
freedom of being me,
nothing more,
nothing less,
and that it’s okay.

Jewels, from eyes of wonder

For thou, O Lord, art a God of compassion,
and gracious, long-suffering,
and plenteous in mercy and truth.

Psalm 86:15

I picked a few tiny branches and a couple of red zinnias from the garden.

I used a scarlet fiesta tumbler as a vase.

The kitchen windowsill.

Our little orange cat named Sherlock was cozy on the back of the couch on the quilt I made.

I love having cats around, they are such dear things.

Have a wonderful day, my friends!

You are loved.

a muffin from mike

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Shanda

I have been sick, along with several of the children, since last Wednesday. I have had a bad cold and flu type thing (still feeling quite lousy), and Sarah has had a stomach bug/fever sickness. Jacob, Grace, and Caleb have all had a touch of it as well. On Sunday morning I had to stay home from church with Sarah and Rich went on with the other six children without us. Those of you who go to church on Sunday mornings know how hectic it gets (WHY?) and sometimes the children end up at service *not quite ready*……..anyway, our young church friend MIKE sent me this email the other day explaining how his extra muffin from Dunkin Donuts ended up being a blessing to my daughter GRACE.

**************************************************

FROM OUR FRIEND MIKE:

“This is a story i shared on facebook, but since you guys do not have facebook, something we will have to change in the near future 🙂

I want to show it to you… as well…

One of the things i try to do with Facebook is to use it as a means to open the word of God to people, to show examples of his work and to try to draw non-believers into conversation…

Anyhow the True-Story follows

This has been on my mind all day…

So today on my way to church…i always stop at Dun-kin in sturbridge for breakfast…but for someone reason i drove right past it, partly do in part because i was running a little late, but lateness has never stopped me before.

So after the morning study my stomach was rumbling so i went over to Dunkin Donuts to get a Blueberry muffin, the line was moving quite slow and i was getting a little impatient, the workers behind the stall were frantically trying to keep up with all the customers, not to mention the customer in front was making a extra large order.

eventually the dunkin employee asked what i wanted, i asked for one blueberry muffin, she then handed it to the cashier and proceeded to service the next customer.

Through a series of miscommunications, the cashier ended up charging me for two muffins instead of one, to give me the money back would have taken longer, so i just asked them to give me another muffin, told them it was alright and off i went, but a little annoyed with the long wait…

When i got into the church, i headed into the kitchen and where the teens sat and asked if anyone wanted a Blueberry muffin. Grace raised her hand and so i gave it to her, then i walked out. Grace a few moments later came out to say thank you and said she did not eat breakfast that morning…so i paused and thought about how the events happened and said, AH…see how the Lord works…

Now of course for people who do not believe in God, this is just a series of events that ended up helping Miss Grace. But to me, i see the hand of God working to help his children, to teach me a lesson about being impatient and to show how the Lord can reveal himself in such small ways…

—

Sometimes what we think is best for us is really the opposite, sometimes when we follow our own “right” path, we end up going the wrong direction – Jacob -“

*******************************************

P.S. The other interesting thing about this story is that Grace gets sick and dizzy if she goes without eating. So that extra muffin was such a blessing!

Seth

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Shanda

Hello friends, how is your day going?

I had an odd thing happen to me this morning. I was in the bathroom, helping Sarah go potty (yeah, we are potty training. again.) and she started talking to me in her high-pitched, sympathetic tone of voice. “Oh! Do you have a boo-boo, Mom?” She was gazing sadly at my arm as I pulled up her little jeans. “Can I kiss it? Let me see it!” I gave her my arm, wondering where this “boo boo” was, and she took it in her soft hands and turned it and ……. kissed my dry, wrinkled elbow!

I’m hideous!

I’ve been chuckling over it all morning.

I found a cool thing at that antique store I told you about on Monday. Yes, I mainly came away with books, but I also found something that I decided to hang up in Seth’s room. It’s a “Wild Animals of Britain” wall hanging. He was thrilled to see it. I had to iron it first and then find tacks. We found three tacks and then I started looking in the junk drawers in the kitchen for a fourth. I got so annoyed by those dang drawers filled with stuff that I took them all out and dumped The contents in one big pile on the floor. All morning, whenever I had a free moment, I sat down to sort and throw away the little odd bits of junk that my family has accumulated. And now, happily, I’m all done with that chore, the drawers are all EMPTY and the floor is CLEAN and swept. Feels good. Like the house lost weight.

Here’s Seth’s new wall hanging (printed on “irish linen”–go figure–)

Isn’t it so very quaint? I love the green background color, too. He pointed to the animals and named them. I told him the ones he wasn’t sure of “weasel, badger, hedgehog” and corrected his speech; “box” is actually a “FOX”.

Seth is growing and learning and changing. My heart is so very pleased with his latest interest in Bible stories. We take him to Sunday School and church each Sunday, and he also has a class to go to while I am in Bible Study on Wednesdays. He has learned many stories from the Bible and I think they are wonderful for him because they are so adventurous. This week he learned about Daniel and the Lion’s Den and how God shut the lions’ mouths so that they couldn’t bite him.

On Sunday, he thought about Jesus dying on the cross, a lot. I don’t know whether to smile or sigh about all the times BLOOD is mentioned at church. I smile because it is the marvellous gospel message that I know and believe, but I sigh because I wonder what the little ones are thinking as I shield them all week from any sort of violence and then we go to church and talk about Jesus dying on the cross in a bloody way, with nails in His hands. I do know and believe that God’s grace covers the whole situation and that also, most of it goes right over their heads. But, this Sunday, Little Seth tugged on my skirt at church, I bent down in the middle of singing “Nothing but the Blood of Jesus” and listened to him ask, “Will you tell me that story again? About Jesus and the blood?” So I sit and tell him the story again. And when we get home, he wants to hear it again. I wonder if “it’s okay” to tell him these things, to satisfy his curiousity about blood and dying.

Then, I realize, that it’s for him and for me, and my eyes fill with tears, because of the sweetness. Because of the questions he asks and the longing we all have to hear the old, old, story again and again. In my telling it, in the most simple way I can, my own soul is strengthed. I remember again that God sent Jesus to earth to save poor sinful men and women who are tired and longing and hoping and needful…..of His salvation and grace….and nothing but His blood can wash away the tiresome sins of the world. And I pray that my words burn into his memory, “Sethie, Mommy loves Jesus and believes in Him and someday I will be in heaven with Him, too.”

“And, Seth, remember, Jesus died on the cross, but He is not dead any more. He rose from the dead! He is alive right now and,” (because he asks I tell him) “his boo-boos are all better!”

He is finding our Bible story books around the house and took some to bed with him during his nap.

This one was another satisfying adventure story about how God helped a shepherd boy and the boy killed a big bad giant with a sling, and a stone. The stone goes right into his forehead.

And the giant goes tumbling down.

“He’s killed, he’s killed!” ~Seth (a boy through and through)

Someday I hope to tell him that the journey of his spiritual awareness all began when he was only three and had so many questions.

Will you pray for Seth today? And me, too?

Thank you, friends.

reading

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Shanda

May I share some quotes with you?

I’ve been enjoying my daughter’s kindle, she has been generous enough to share it with me. What a blessing to be able to instantly download Christian classics and *drink them up* as an inspiration to the hungry soul. We are bombarded every day by the cares of daily life, it’s refreshing to have good books to turn to during our free times. I’ve been very interested in Christian biographies recently.

Last night, I finished one by Amy Carmichael, (missionary to India in the early 1900’s). I’ve read her work before and I always notice and appreciate the pure and beautiful feminine touches she displayed in her missionary work. She wrote of the girls rescued from being given over to the temple gods, she wrote of the mountains, green plants and fragrant flowers. She used words, names, celebrations, color, the written word, to add beauty to life, relationships, and spiritual truths.

In this particular story, she lovingly remembers and writes about her Indian friend Ponnammal, who worked along with her at the mission. There are many “golden nuggets” to savor in Amy’s book, and I wrote a few down to share here, with you.

First, after Ponnammal’s salvation: “Thus was the awakening of a spirit that was to travel far in the fields of joyful adventure.”

“With the Indian woman’s gracious gift of making the most out of little, she contented herself and was happy.”

“She learned fortitude, patience, and the secret of possessing that joy which is not in circumstances, and so does not depend on them.”

“Quite early we learned the wholesome lesson not to look to man or woman, but to God, the living God, for the continuation as well as for the beginning of everything.”

“And the thought that must have passed through a thousand minds shaped afresh in ours: ‘If earth can be so beautiful, what must the heavenly places be?'”

“And to our astonishment–so foolish are we and ignorant–that which we had thought we could not do, we did, God being our Arm every morning.”

And, lastly, as Ponnammal was suffering and slowly dying of cancer,

“Are you tasting the sweetness of this time? I am.”

Ah, so many thoughts and lessons to be learned from these wise words.

Enjoy your day today, dear friends!

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalm 34:8

By taste and sight we both make discoveries, and have enjoyment; Taste and see God’s goodness; take notice of it, and take the comfort of it. He makes all truly blessed that trust in him. ~ Matthew Henry