“If dependence on God is the objective
weakness is the advantage.”
Alistair Begg
quote
7
grace and praise
I wonder, this morning, if anxiety is in the air I breathe. Does it enter into my lungs from the air and spread to my heart, mind, and soul like an unwanted illness? Last night in bed, as the tears silently rolled down my face in the dark, I started to pray, “Lord, WHY did you make me this way?!?”
and His words:
“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God: ‘Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LIKE THIS?'” Romans 9:20
And I breathe again.
I think of the song we sang in church on Sunday about breathing in His grace.
Breathing in His grace and breathing OUT His praise.
I thank Him. I thank Him for making me the way He did.
I have the fatness of a beautiful life all around me, a spacious home, perfectly wonderful children, a devoted husband, Jesus in my heart, so what’s a little anxiety thrown into the mix?
Truly, It keeps me humble, weak, and leaning on the Lord’s strength.
“Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And he has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
At small moments, I even find myself accepting the fact that in my life I will most certainly struggle, at times, with the burden of anxiety, and it is okay and I can rest in Christ. I do what I can do for myself and leave the rest to my loving Father.
What I do: Helps for the Anxious One
I go about my days the way they are supposed to be run, even though on the inside I want to curl up in bed. This means the laundry gets done and the meals get made. Cookies, even!
I read books to the children. Reading out loud shuts up the negative voice in my head.
I take a very low-dose anti depressant (doctor’s orders), vitamins, and drink plenty of water.
Listen to music. Dance. Sing. Whistle.
Read Scriptures, read my favorite books.
Enjoy my husband and children.
(breathing in His grace, and out His praise.)
I share my inner struggles at appropriate times ONLY. This means I will “act okay” to the majority of people around me and I give myself permission to do this; yes, and be “less than genuine”. (I hate insincerity but have come to understand that it would do more harm than good to overshare in very personal issues.)
Remind myself that it will pass, as it surely will, I know from experience.
A confession: I use this blog as an outlet for my inner being. I’ve been blogging for years now and have found that after a good soul-cleansing post like this I actually feel lighter and freer. The burden is lifted for a time, as I allow myself to share here. Also, walking around with my camera is therapeutic, as it focuses my eyes on the good things around me. I love photography for this reason. And I love to share my pictures here.
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All spring and summer long, we have had workers here, building a room onto our house. The new addition is a dining room/office/fireplace and pantry. Now that it is almost completed, I have been hunting for a few pieces of furniture, rugs, and curtains. This weekend Rich and I found this perfect cupboard at a shop downtown. I LOVE IT, because it’s country primitive.
But little Sarah loves it because…….she can get away from her crazy family!
She takes her pillow, blankie, and a kitty and gets right in. Unfortunately she can’t shut the door herself so we are constantly answering her request to shut the cupboard.
snapshots from around the house….Seth and his toys….
…Caleb and his current favorite book. He has read both Powerless and Super over the last week. Both books were written by Matthew Cody. Caleb is now currently reading Powerless out loud to me, which touches my heart because it was all his idea.
This is an iphone picture of the pan of brownies I made on Friday. On a whim, I used the leftover decorator frosting from Dave’s birthday and wrote Ethan’s name on top. He was honored with the privilege of taking the first piece. Rich and I thought it was too cute that he took the “E”.
(iphone picture) Seth was sick all day on Saturday with a high fever and stomach upset. Rich took the time to take a nap with the sickie…the toes are what made me grab the camera. Just too precious.
Grace spent Sunday afternoon at Erinn’s house. I took this picture at about 9pm, when she was brought back home. Such pretty girls.
I wrote on my hand and then Seth asked me to write on his.
Books we have been reading every day.
It was a gloomy weekend and a lot of the leaves have fallen down. The weather definitely contributed to my own gloomy feelings.
(iphone pic) Rich and I had the joy of taking all the kids out to dinner last night. When I’m feeling blue I never want to be away from the children, so when Rich offered to take me out I begged him to take us all. It was a great time. I even sat on the other side of the table next to big kids and let Rich care for the littles (picking up dropped crayons, etc).
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It has taken me hours to write this, as I keep going off to take care of things, answer phone calls, give baths, etc…..it has been a pleasure to sneak away now and then to work on blogging. Have a wonderful day, my friends!
“The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it” 1 Thessalonians 5:24
“Your own completeness is only realized in Him.” Colossians 2:10
{this moment}
A Friday ritual.
A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
inspired by soulemama
our seth
when we were very young
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He loves his soft blanket.
And sleeps with a favorite Bear.
(When he was a baby he called it a “beer”).
He makes up love songs about mommy.
(He says he wants Jesus AND mommy in his heart.)
He calls for bread and butter at night when he can’t fall asleep, and don’t tell his Dad, but I oftentimes sneak him up a slice.
(you see? food is the way to a man’s stomach, line four.)
When I read out loud, he snuggles in close.
He cries on the way to Bible study because he already misses me.
At four years old, he is still quite a big baby.
BUT. HOWEVER.
HE IS ALSO A REALLY SCARY NINJA!
*you’re scared, aren’t you?*
Beware! He can only be tamed by food, mommy, soft blankies, and a beer. I meant, a bear.
glorious colors of fall
a simply lovely life
Hello, my friends. I hope and pray that you are having a good day so far and that you sense that God is near to you, as He truly is. He loves His children so very much and is delighted with the ins and outs of what makes each one of us uniquely His creation. He knows every detail and desire of our heart. It is amazing to me that we can go to our Father with anything, any struggle, any longing, and He will listen and answer in the very best way that we need. I can trust Him with my life, and the lives of all my loved ones. There is so much security and contentment in His care.
I was outside this morning for a little while with Seth and Sarah. I took a blanket and my Bible study lessons out with me and watched the children play as I made a few phone calls. I sat under a tree that was nothing but red leaves. The sky is clear and blue today, and the sun was shining brilliantly through those leaves, making them looking like little stained glass windows from nature. We didn’t last long outside. Seth and Sarah were on the see-saw and Seth got off his end, causing Sarah to slam down on the ground. She was very upset, and wet, too, from playing in the pond, so we went back inside. I dried her off and gave her and Seth each a plate with grapes and graham crackers. I turned on one of their little shows and took a few minutes to myself. I went outside with my camera and back down to that beautiful red tree………
I thank you God
for this amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of the trees,
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything that is natural,
which is infinite,
which is yes.
ee cummings
And then, down to a yellow one by the pond.
I do so treasure the
freedom of being me,
nothing more,
nothing less,
and that it’s okay.
Jewels, from eyes of wonder
For thou, O Lord, art a God of compassion,
and gracious, long-suffering,
and plenteous in mercy and truth.
Psalm 86:15
I picked a few tiny branches and a couple of red zinnias from the garden.
I used a scarlet fiesta tumbler as a vase.
The kitchen windowsill.
Our little orange cat named Sherlock was cozy on the back of the couch on the quilt I made.
I love having cats around, they are such dear things.
Have a wonderful day, my friends!
You are loved.
“you’re looking at an eleven year old”
Image
David’s birthday was on Friday. Rich is usually firm about fulfilling commitments, and always makes the children attend school unless very sick, so I was somewhat surprised that he allowed David to stay home on his special day. Perhaps he knew instinctively that Dave would benefit from a day of loving, here at home.
One of the first things I remember of Dave that morning was noticing him observing his arms, just looking at them and saying, “I cannot believe I am eleven.”
David grows older proudly, yet reluctantly. He loves each age and doesn’t care to move on.
We had a quiet morning, and before lunch I asked him to put on some clean clothes so I could take his official picture on his 11th birthday. He chose his “creepers gonna creep” shirt, (I almost objected but then realized “this is who he is!”) a pair of jeans, and of course, bare feet.
A
BOUT DAVE:
The other day Caleb was thinking and thinking……”David is very much like a monkey,” he offered, “He’s the best tree climber of the entire family. And, he likes bananas…….”
Thankfully, there are other things about him, too. He loves to fold origami, he formed and leads a club at school, his best friend is a boy named Ryan, he reads Percy Jackson books, Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, and loves to be comfortable and cozy. He likes Star Wars and notices deep things, coming up with such precious observations that I find myself learning from him and marveling. He is especially close to Ethan and Grace and can spend hours with these two siblings. He is a good listener for Grace, and a mischievous adventurer for Ethan. They were punching each other in church today.
He likes Minecraft, fishing, marbles, stacking cups, comics, and magic tricks.
Our neighbor the vegetable gardener thinks David will be a mayor. He’ll never forget the time that Dave (a few years ago) marched right to their front door demanding cucumbers. They weren’t on the vegetable stand as they typically would be.
When I told David that it was the last day of the vegetable stand, EVER (the gardener, his old friend, was moving away), he went down with his handful of pocket change one last time. I found him later and asked if he was able to see Mr. G. “Yes. I gave him a speech, thanking him for the many years of selling vegetables.” A mayor!
He’s such a special boy and because he has three older siblings and three younger ones, he holds the distinction of being in the MIDDLE, able to be an “older one” or a “younger one” depending upon the mood or the moment.
For lunch on his birthday, I left Grace home on the couch (she was home sick) and Seth and Sarah napping, and the two of us went out to the “Elvis Diner” down the road. His face lit up when I asked him if he wanted to go (alone!) with me. On our way to the car he sighed and said one of his thoughtful thoughts, “It’s a long time in the double digits. You only have 9 years in the single digits but a long, long, time in the double digits.” (“Yes, and you’ll probably never get out of them alive,” I wanted to remark, but held back). Dave is also somewhat of a pessimist, bless his heart. With a tender soul.
“I love these times when it’s just you and me.” ~Dave, over lunch
He showed me magic tricks with the salt and a napkin.
He ordered specifically, six mozzarella sticks and grape soda. He wanted to save room for ice cream.
“I would never have known who Elvis was if it wasn’t for this place.”
He got to play the pinball machine.
He got to try for a black gumball (if you get one, your ice cream is free). But alas, he gave up 2 quarters, and out came…..an orange and then a green. He is convinced the machine is rigged! No one ever gets a black!
It was a good thing I was there to buy his ice cream for him.
After lunch we had to go to the store to get a cart full of groceries, including stuff to decorate his cake, which I had already baked that morning.
I bought him a balloon and the gallon of milk fell out of the trunk when we got back home. I screamed and grabbed it before it all dumped out.
He played minecraft for quite a while as I slaved away over his cake of choice from the book we have. Playing minecraft in leisure was probably one of the best parts of his day.
Once brother Caleb got home he was able to open the rest of his gifts and a card from Grandma and Grandpa, which came right on the day.
He was thrilled with the card because Grandma wrote a nice long letter inside it, especially for him. I think this was the first year he read it without struggling over the cursive writing.
He had told me a week before his birthday that he “always wanted one of those soft pillows for the bed, you know, the ones shaped like a chair.” He said it as part of a conversation and not necessarily as a hint for a birthday gift, so he was very pleased and surprised to get one from us. We also gave him two origami books, and a gift bag full of little things that make boys happy (like candy).
Jacob and Ethan had sports after school so Rich took Caleb and Seth to Jacob’s home game so I could rest (I was also sick with a cold) and we didn’t have cake until 9:30 that night, probably the latest party hour for us, ever!
As a mother, I think birthdays are a wonderful time to shower the children with love and attention. They need to know they are loved and valued, and that we are thankful for each one of them and what they add to the family and the world. God made them each so unique and they are to be celebrated.
One of my favorite parts of a birthday is lighting the candles and seeing the look on my child’s face as they are being sung to. It is their special moment. And they soak it right in. The love and the song.
“The home life should be made bright and full of sunshine. The courtesy of the true home is not stiff and formal, but sincere, simple, and natural. Children need an atmosphere of gladness…..no child can ever grow up into its richest and best development in a home which is gloomy and unhappy. No more do plants need sunshine and air than children need joy and gladness. Whatever parents may do for their children, they should at least make their childhood sunny and tender.” JR Miller
{this moment}
A Friday ritual. A single photo – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
A photo by my brother, David, of the night sky over our parent’s home place.
cappuccino in a jar, a turtle, a leech, and football
“Afterall,” Anne had said to Marilla once, “I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.”
LM Montgomery
This morning, I was looking through my favorite fall cookbook from Mom, she bought it for me 10 years ago! I found an intriguing recipe for “Cappuccino in a Jar”. I had all the ingredients in the cupboard so I went downstairs to get an empty quart-sized mason jar and mixed some up.
CAPPUCCINO IN A JAR
from Gooseberry Patch’s cookbook, Flavors of Fall
2/3 cup instant coffee granules
1 cup chocolate drink mix
1 cup powdered non-dairy creamer
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
Mix ingredients together; spoon into jar. To make, add 3 tablespoons of mix to 6 ounces hot water. Makes 10-12 servings.
I tried some right away and it was delicious. I think it would make a lovely gift! I plan on taking the jar with me to Bible study tomorrow for my friends there to enjoy at coffee time.
about the books : (I got a box from amazon.com today; with three new ones, memoirs, to look forward to reading. I am also reading Bleak House by Charles Dickens and The Jesus I Thought I Knew, by Phillip Yancey.)
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In other news: Seth and I found a turtle yesterday just sitting in the grass by the pond. We rarely find them out of the ponds. If they’re out of water they are usually on a rock at the edge, sunbathing. We said hello and picked it up. It hissed quite quietly “hello” and waved all four legs to try to scratch itself out of our hands.
After taking it inside to show the workers, Seth promptly let it go downstairs in his big brothers’ room. It was forgotten until this morning when David found it and it was released back to the wild waters…….I just love life with boys and turtles!
I also took a variety of photos of a leech yesterday. Oh yes indeedy. It was attached to the poor turtle, I had never seen one before so I scraped it off him with a stick. I hope you “enjoy” the pictures I took of it. It was quite a fascinating creature, capable of stretching itself out or bunching itself up.
It was beginning to dry so I threw it in the stream, even though Rich thought I should kill it, I just couldn’t. I guess I bonded with it after all the photography.
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One last bit of news.
Jacob, our oldest son, played his first football game yesterday. I homeschooled him for five years and he went into public school as a Freshman. He is now a Junior (!!). This is his first experience playing football and deep down in my heart I am petrified that he will be seriously hurt. I am displaying a brave front for the moment and doing my best to keep his uniforms clean…..anyway…..he is quarterback for the jr. varsity team. I took some pictures but I don’t have any good ones of the action, as it was pretty hard to follow. Plus I was only there for the last half hour because I was stuck at the eye doctor’s with Grace. Rich was there for the whole game though.
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| this one is funny, of Jacob directing the team. it was interesting to hear him yell out calls and stuff. he did great. |
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| talking to one of the coaches on the sidelines, #9 |
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| very proud of him for trying new things and learning so much |
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| they lost badly |
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| but it was a great experience; next game is Saturday. my heart is touched when he asked over dinner last nigh, “Are you gonna come to my game on Saturday, Mom?” He wants me there. 🙂 he’s a good kid
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I’ll take pictures of Ethan playing soccer when he actually gets into a game. He’s been sidelined since last week with a hamstring injury. I’m taking him to a physical therapist this afternoon.
Enjoy your day, my friends!
Friends are the sunshine of life. John Han
snapshots from the weekend
A few months ago I had the best time asking the children questions. I had a list of 12 questions (lifted with permission from crappy pictures blog) and asked each of my seven children them all, alone, without the siblings around so they didn’t influence each other. It was not only fun but also interesting and impressive. I wrote it all down in my journal and still chuckle over them.
For example:
What is the meaning of life?
“To enjoy God’s creations. Because every day on the bus I just look out the window. To see God’s creations.” Caleb, age 8
What do you want to be when you grow up?
“That’s a hard, hard question. I really don’t know–there’s lots of things I want to be. A scientist, a librarian, a book writer (which you don’t have to go to college for), or an herpetologist.” David, 10
What brings you the most happiness?
“Singing” Grace, age 13
What are you afraid of?
“Nothing” Ethan, age 15
When do you feel the most loved?
“I like my mommy.” Seth
“At Grandma’s house.” Jacob
What is the best thing in the world?
“I like to eat chicken” Seth
What is the funniest word?
“I laugh at the trees.” Sarah, 3
“butt” Caleb
“fud” Jacob
“cumquat” Ethan
“meow” Seth
What makes you mad?
“I don’t have mad. I just happy!” Sarah
What is the worse thing in the world?
“being alone” Ethan
“homicide” Jacob
“sin” Caleb
“my stomach hurts” Seth
What is the meaning of love?
“Butterflies in the stomach….marriage–but I don’t even think THAT makes sense because what if you love a cat? How about, universal unity?” Jacob
“To make more people” David
On Friday, Grace was able to come right home and not stay after school for anything. I found it touching that Sarah got right in the couch with her big sister and snuggled in….they watched youtube music videos together.
I got up and made a big Saturday morning breakfast with pancakes, bacon, sausage, hashbrowns, and scrambled eggs. Seth was so impressed that on Sunday morning he asked, “Can you make That Breakfast again, Mom?”
Our little girl kitten, Silkie. Watching out the window
Poor Caleb got all grumpy so I told him to take a nap on the couch. He stuffed his head in between the cushions and went right to sleep. xoxo
The fire department had their annual “rent a table” tag sale and I bought a box of horsies for Sarah Joy. She loves making up little stories with them.
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| me |
Other tag sale purchases: A wooden napkin holder and a pretty candle.
Parker in a sunbeam with those soft floppy ears.
I got these two old frames from a second hand store….I have so many pictures and whenever I see frames I search out the ones that have interesting shapes, like these two, with gold matting. The picket-fence picture is a favorite of mine, of little Grace years ago.
I’m going to make a pillow from this old quilt scrap, also found at the second hand store in town.
Well, it’s hard to see, but I was taking a picture of baby fish in our pond. Rich and I walked around checking them out. He says the bass (not pictured) might be big enough to fish next year. I wonder if it will happen, as he and Ethan have them practically as PETS at this point. 🙂
Saturday evening tea time with Jacob and Gracie.
Oh, this one is funny. Sort of. We have a big sectional sofa which is hard to vacuum thoroughly so I don’t do it very often. The urge struck me last week to take it all apart and do a proper cleaning. I not only threw away a lot of garbage, but collected all this stuff, too.
These are the days of toys in the couch. How I’ll miss them.
{this moment}
A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
Good to be Home 