The north wind doth blow

and we shall have snow,

and what shall poor robin do then?

poor thing?

He’ll sit in a barn

and keep himself warm

and hide his head under his wing,

poor thing.

nursery rhyme
in honor of
our first snow
11.12.13

Sarah ran around all evening like this.  Sometimes I don’t bother asking why; I just get out the camera. 

Hello internet friends, how in the world are you?  I’m so glad to sit and type a little something here before the babysitter comes to watch Seth and Sarah for the day.  It’s been one of those busy weeks and this morning I was frazzled and close to tears and I thought “oh I wish” and “but I don’t want to be a bother” and “ye have not because ye ask not” so I took a deep breath, picked up the phone and asked.  She said yes!  I love my friends.  Erinn will be over after her dentist appointment and her mom said I could keep her for the day and I’m planning on doing just that.  Oh, for some alone time, I dearly love my children but sometimes you just have to take a step away now and then, yes?

I haven’t been sleeping well, last night was better, thankfully, but I have to tell you what happened the other night.  The kids all slept fine but the animals were crazy.  I woke up to barking.  Non stop barking.  The kind that means “I’m stuck somewhere and I’m gonna bark until someone comes to save me.”  I got up, thinking I would have to go outside to the garage (the dog sometimes gets shut in there by accident) but then realized he was downstairs.  I opened the door and found out that he wasn’t stuck at all, he was in a corner, with his head down, barking at a tiny gray mouse, which promptly ran as soon as Parker was distracted.  He ran after it, grabbed it in his mouth, and ran upstairs past me to the livingroom where he let it go.  The mouse ran off somewhere, Parker forgot about it, and I ran in my room and shut the door, hoping it didn’t follow me in!  As soon as I got into bed, a cat began meowing (the three cats didn’t even notice the mouse!) so I got up to let him out, then the dog was whining…and so on, you get the idea!  LOL  I can laugh now that I have a babysitter coming.

Seth was adorable the other night.  He was overtired and kept calling downstairs to me about how he didn’t like the dark, he was afraid of foxes, etc.  Finally I said, “Seth, you need to pray and ask Jesus to make you cozy and happy to be in your bed.”  And would you believe, the dear boy  instantly began praying out loud.  I couldn’t hear the words, but I could hear his tiny trusting voice.  He slept that night and into the next morning better than he has in DAYS.  When I asked him the next day what he prayed this is what I got:

“I said.  Please God.  Make me warm?  And kill the wild animals.”

Yesterday was Community Bible Study day.  On those days, we are gone from 8-2:3o.  It’s a long day but the experience is proving to be a big joy-builder in my life.  The ladies are wonderful, we are over our initial shyness and having FUN, laughing, working together to be a blessing to our groups.   The core leaders stay after to eat lunch together, pray, sing, and do our lessons for the next week.  Each week a different lady gives a devotional that she writes, based on one of our Bible verses that we are studying.  Yesterday was my turn, so I thought I would share my devotional here:

O Lord our God, You have only begun to show Your servants Your greatness and Your mighty hand.  For what god is there in heaven or on earth Who can do such works and mighty acts as Yours?  (from Deut. 3)

We all struggle now and then, and for me the biggest personal trials of my life have been with depression and anxiety, specifically with Post-Partum depression after six of my babies were born.  Although every trial has the potential to be a beautiful learning time, it can be easy to worry and dwell on our problems until they seem overwhelming and terrible.  God, at those times, can seem small and distant.

As a Christian, I have learned that a wonderful antidote to tough seasons in life is to purposefully meditate on the greatness, might, and BIGNESS of God.  There is so much to contemplate in His attributes, His Holy Word, His creation, and even the amazing ways He answers prayer.

The verses I chose from Deuteronomy remind me of the greatness of God.  There is no one in heaven or earth that can do what He does.  Everything about God is amazing and abundant.

Practically speaking, if we could set aside some time every day to think about concrete examples of how big and mighty our God is, we would find our souls elevated in such a way that daily struggles become smaller and more manageable.  We would experience more joy and contentment because we realize that even our biggest fears are like a helpless kitten compared to Him.  My challenge to us all this week is to think of specific ways that God shows His tremendous greatness in the Bible, His general goodness to all humanity, and to us personally as we go about our daily lives.

They just called and are 10 minutes away!  Must go brush my teeth.

Have a blessed day, friends!

I bought Seth and Seth’s costumes at Costco over a month ago and didn’t let them try them on or anything, they were beyond thrilled when Halloween finally came.  They wore their costumes for half the day.  Sarah’s Snow White skirt sprinkled glitter all over the house.

She loved her magic wand.

Those bare toes!  The day was cloudy and damp, but mild, in the 60’s.

Rich got home around 5:30 and I went to get Jacob from school.  Jacob dressed up as an Army guy for Halloween, he was so excited to go trick or treating.  David and Caleb wanted to be Ninjas.  I ordered their costumes from amazon but they were allowed to wear theirs last week to a school event and a party.   Of course, in the meantime, Caleb lost his mask so we resorted to painting his face.  They also lost their belts.  They were happy, regardless.  It was finally time to go!

David and Caleb carried pillowcases to collect their candy in and the little ones carried McDonald’s buckets that the Happy Meals came in last week.

We drove to the school to get Grace from drama rehearsal.  Ethan stayed home because he thinks Halloween is ridiculous.

The only sad thing that happened was Jacob kept getting ignored at the doors.  He finally gave up trying to be a kid just out to have fun trick or treating, took his military stuff off,  and my heart ached……he ended up with a little bit of candy, but it’s just not the same when you’re 16 and six feet tall trying to go around with younger siblings and people are giving you dirty looks (so he thought).  Sometimes it’s hard to grow up.  Maybe next year he can go with a bunch of friends his own age?  I don’t know, how old were you when you stopped trick or treating?

Grace didn’t have a costume and spent her time helping Sarah Joy and talking my ear off.  She decided she was dressed as Sarah’s “nanny” and we all laughed when someone asked her what she was dressed up as and Caleb said, “She’s our little sister’s granny.”  LOL  “Nanny, kid.  Nanny.”  she corrected.

It was fun to be outside walking the dark streets with the children, they were perfectly satisfied after about an hour and came home with enough candy to last at least a couple of days.

Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold.  ~Judith Olney

(source: pinterest)

I’m several years behind the times but I recently finished watching the entirety of the BBC series “Lark Rise to Candleford” on amazon prime.  It originally began airing in 2008 and was a beautiful series in so many ways.  As soon as I realized I was nearing the end of it, I ordered the trilogy of novels (of the same name) by Flora Thompson and am currently on page 251 of 556 delightful pages.  The novels are described as “the quintessential distillation of English country life at the turn of the twentieth century.”  (source: back cover of the book).

Here is a description of what “home” meant for the people of the hamlet at that time:

“But, as fond as they were saying, money isn’t everything.  Poor as they were, every one of the small cottages, so much alike when seen from the outside, had for its inmates the unique distinction of being ‘our place’ or ‘ho-um’.  After working in the pure cold air of the fields all day, the men found it comforting to be met by, and wrapped round in, an atmosphere of chimney-smoke and bacon and cabbage-cooking; to sink into ‘fey-ther’s chair’ by the hearth, draw off heavy, mud-caked boots, take the latest baby on their knee and sip strong, sweet tea while ‘our Mum’ dished up the tea-supper.

The elder children were either at school all day or lived out doors in fine weather; but, as their mothers said, they knew which house to go to when they felt hungry, and towards dusk they made for their supper and bed like homing pigeons, or rabbits scurrying to their burrow.

To the women, home was home in a special sense, for nine-tenths of their lives were spent indoors.  There they washed and cooked and cleaned and mended for their teeming families; there they enjoyed their precious half-hour’s peace with a cup of tea before the fire in the afternoon, and there they bore their troubles as best they could and cherished their few joys.  At times when things did not press too heavily upon them they found pleasure in re-arranging their few poor articles of furniture, in re-papering the walls and making quilts and cushions of scraps of old cloth to adorn their dwelling and add to its comfort….”

Home life is important, and although there are too many sad and broken homes, this little picture of an old English hamlet is what I wish it could be for everyone; comforting, filling, nurturing, special, enjoyable, peaceful……..

It is also a good reminder to continue making my own home as welcoming as I can, despite how tiresome it can be.  (laundry & messes forever, it seems).

But is it the cooking and cleaning that really matter?  Deep deep down, even with the never-ending messes, it’s the heart of the home that truly matters.  The soul.  There is beauty is a mess, too, of a full and messy life, my children, my husband, our living, our love.  There is a lot to be said for the woman that can, in wisdom, overlook the less important thing like a perfectly clean home, so that she can enjoy the things that truly matter;  a calm spirit, giving, listening, sharing, understanding the ones that she cares for.

Oh yes, I want that.  The trains on the floor ready to be played with, marker on the toddler hands as a sign of creativity, spending an extra hour in pj’s because we can, and it’s comfortable.  A cat curled up beside me and Sarah with her blanket.

*****

Some photos from around our place, and our happenings.

I love my husband so much.  He’s been extra busy this week with work.  He had a long meeting last night, so important that one of the executives, who had tickets to the World Series final game, had to miss it for work!  (so sad)  Anyway, this man of mine grew up on a farm and at the end of an axe, chopping wood for his Dad…..and he was thrilled to order logs to be chopping for our own fireplace this year.  In typical fashion, he ordered way more than necessary, and I’m sure this amount of wood will last for several years.  In the meantime, he now has his boys at the ends of the axes.  His boys, plus Mike.  (who is like family)

The kittens are good and trained to behave like babies.

Sarah had pretty hair!

I have been organizing toys and as soon as the blocks were all in one basket rather than five toy boxes, they were played with again, under lamps, on the floor, by the book basket and the little rocking chair from Grandma and Grandpa.

Sarah at my side as I was taking pictures of the woolly aphids.

I have a lot of pictures of Sarah.  Going to her first dentist appointment!

She was so funny in the chair.  Three tiny cavities!  The shame of it!

Kara, my chickens are molting.

Now that we’ve had our killing frosts, I’ve been pulling up dead plants in the garden.  To our surprise and joy, we also pulled up two fat toads, first one by the rosemary, then the other by a tomato plant!  They were so cute tucked away under the ground, already drowsy and ready for hibernation.  Seth kept them in a box as I worked, and then we put them back.  See you in the spring, Mr. and Mrs. Toad!

Playing with my dishes!  I’m slowly working my stuff out of the storage room and into our new space.  I washed a pile of fiesta plates that I’ve had tucked away for a few years; a vintage red, cobalt, rose, and turquoise, a discontinued evergreen, and yellow.  Also, my “genuine fiesta collector” plate that I ordered years ago from the old Betty Crocker catalogue.

(someone else’s internet photo of “Our Moose”.)

My friend Caroline stopped at the end of our road yesterday because there was a crowd of people looking at, and taking pictures of, A MOOSE, which is rare in these parts.  This was exciting, but at the same time, she also met the new neighbors, who moved into our old gardener-friend’s house about a month ago.  And she found out that they are born again Christians!  They had already heard about me, and wanted to meet us, because their daughter has EIGHT children, and homeschools.  I wasn’t able to be a part of all this excitement, because I was gone for the day at CBS, but it was an absolute thrill.  A moose and Christian neighbors and the possibility of new friendships!  I love how God works.

****

Shall I mention Halloween?

My children have been counting down the days for over a month.  They are “dying” to dress up and go.

But, will it storm?

Will Rich get home in time to help me drive them around to knock on doors?

This is a sincerely scary day for yours truly.

Seth, our youngest boy (of which we have five) has been heart achingly cute this weekend (and always).  He did many cute things which will not be mentioned here today.   However, the two blue guys must be mentioned.  Rich and I had to run errands on Saturday morning and Seth came along, bringing with him white paper, a drawing book, and a blue marker.  He is an energetic sort of person, lighthearted,  jolly,  fun, sparkling with LIFE, so to see him concentrating back there in his seat with a marker was too much.  Then, to see his drawing!  I delight.  The bendable arms!  The hands like balls!  The long frog-like mouths!  And the speech bubble!  He only knows one word, and it is “H”.

The blue guys remind me of the song Jacob (16) has been playing over and over; “Blue (Da Ba De)” from Iron Man 3.  It’s so weird, I laugh.

When we were out running errands, Rich and Ethan dropped Sarah and me off at Eddie Bauer so I could return the pants which were too short and baggy.  Then we went to Gap Kids.  I made a discovery.  Sarah, who is three now, apparently loves to go shopping.  I’ve never specifically “gone shopping” with her other than the typical grocery or Target runs.  She was dreadfully hard to manage.  Happy, eager, decisive.   She managed to buy some black boots, and tights that have a teddy bear on the bum, but Seth (who was with his Dad and brother) also made out well.  I bought him some new church clothes.

****

Sunday morning.  Oh, Sunday morning how you challenge me.  But dressing Seth, who was properly scrubbed with a white washcloth of all blue marker remnants, was a satisfaction.  He was clean.  He was clean AND stylish, wearing clothes which were neither too big, nor too small, nor ripped, nor mismatched.  It called for a short photo shoot.

He understands, his mother fusses, and thinks he’s pretty special.

****

The drive to church was alarmingly quiet.  The back seat normally fools and teases; all was silent.  Rich and I took attendance, wondering if we accidently left someone behind.  All was well, “This is the nicest trip to church we’ve ever had!” I remarked.  Ethan laughed.

The children are all too old to go to nursery during church services and the hour is long for them and for me.  It starts out so beautiful; we snuggle in, oh it’s so warm and sweet to be singing together and worshiping.  Then.  It gets even warmer.  I need a little space.  The small boys can’t handle sitting by me, they know I am the soft parent and will soothe, pat, give mints, give anything to keep them quiet.  Outwardly I am serene, inwardly I am getting more and more tense.  “Why is this song so long and loud?”  Seth wonders.  We survive.  Seth’s outer shirt is removed, he’s hot.  Sarah is put in the nursery again “just this once”.  I pass out mints.  The sermon starts, and as Gary preaches about raising godly children in modern day America, Seth begins to fall asleep.

****

When I showed Seth his pictures this morning he gazed and I said, “Who’s that?”

“It’s nobody.” he says.

“Yes, it is!”  I say,  “It’s Somebody.  It’s somebody named Seth.”

*****

I enjoyed Seth and his siblings so much this weekend that I left yesterday afternoon and spend three blissful hours, alone, at Barnes and Noble bookstore.

(a simply lovely life)

“Sylvie scooped all the seeds and pulp out, then Grandpawp made eyes and a nose and a big grinning mouth with horrid crooked teeth.”  Pumpkin Moonshine, (1938) by Tasha Tudor

“It was evening by then so they put a lighted candle inside the pumpkin to make him look as fierce and horrid as all true Pumpkin Moonshines should.”

“Sylvie and Grandpawp put the Pumpkin Moonshine on the front gate post, then they hid in the bushes to watch how terrified the passers by would be at the sight of this fierce Pumpkin Moonshine.  They had a wonderful time.”

“Sylvie Ann saved the pumpkin seeds.  Next spring she planted them.  The vines grew up and ran all over the cornfield, with lots of pumpkins on them, just waiting to be made into pumpkin pies and Pumpkin Moonshines to please good little girls like Sylvie Ann.”

***********

The children had Columbus day off from school and Mike came for the day.  They had such fun carving their pumpkins.  I’ve read Pumpkin Moonshine to the little ones so much that they use that name, which I find so dear.  Sarah wouldn’t touch the “guts”, they were too disgusting for her.  Mike carved Seth’s pumpkin for him, and I did Sarah’s and Caleb’s.  Ethan printed off a design so his was very unique, a hand.  Grace and David didn’t carve theirs, Grace wasn’t feeling well and Dave was at a friend’s house.  It was a fine time out in the bright day, with seeds flying and pumpkin pieces dropping down in the grass.

Just yesterday, Sarah was on the porch with me and she bumped into Jacob’s pumpkin.  It bounced away, rolled down the hill and splashed into the pond.  It’s floating there even now.  I thought Jacob would be mad, but he laughed when I told him.

“In thine own ways, O God of love,
We wait the visits of thy grace.”

Rich was away from Tuesday to Friday last week, he worked from home on Friday and he took the picture of me….I love it because I think it’s sweet how my body reacts to him being gone and then back home.  When he is gone, God gives me extra strength and energy to take care of things, almost like a caffeine rush.  When he returns, it’s amazing how I completely relax.  When he took the picture, I was outside on the porch watching Sarah Joy play, and could hardly keep my eyes open, I was so sleepy.  Like a contented cat in a sunbeam, is how I feel, when my husband is near.

(Ethan, 15, and Jacob, 16, my fine young teenagers)

Our new addition is almost done, so close to being done that I’m full of joy with the prospect of decorating it, and moving in.  We are just about there, my friends.  We have a fire place!  Rich is a man’s man through and through, but I can see the little boy in him as he sets about building his woodpile and carrying in the logs.  He’s so cute when he carries in the logs.  He had a delivery of them (trees, practically) unloaded on the lawn (which is now going to sit there and make me nervous until it’s chopped, because I’m afraid the children will climb on them and make them roll down and flatten someone) and I used the beauty of the *dangerous* logs as a backdrop to take a couple of pictures.  Pictures?  But of course!

Grace is adorable even when her hair blows across her face, and can it be that she will turn 14 soon?  Yes, in just a couple weeks.

She is wise beyond her years and brave, too.  She’s adjusting so well to High School, I am very proud of her.  Thankful.

Rich had enough of a woodpile already chopped up and ready, so he built our first fire this weekend.  There was just enough chill in the air to make it worthwhile.

It was a moment.  We loved the feel of the heat and can picture ourselves sitting in front of it in rocking chairs (seriously, they are on order!), toasting.  The fire cracks and sizzles, the smoky smell is like fine perfume of a different sort.  Oh we love it.

Every creature the house loves it.

On the other side of the room, I have a new hutch!  It’s the perfect and most beautiful piece of furniture to display *some of* my fiestaware collection.  Our table is to the left of the fireplace, on the side of the room.

Once the room is complete I will share pictures of every angle.  We still need trim, a mantle on the fireplace, curtains, doors, etc.

I love that God’s will for me is to turn my house into a home, and make it into a sweet place of love and warmth for family and friends.  I pray that His presence will be felt here.  “A new addition” could never mean as much to me as the fellowship we hope to have within it’s walls.

Dear Savior, let thy beauties be
My soul’s eternal food;
And grace command my heart away,
From all created good.

Have a wonderful afternoon, friends.

You are loved.

Just a quick post to share the photos my brother texted me.

This was the sunrise he saw this morning!

Doesn’t it look like fire?  He wrote that he was “pretty dumbfounded” when he saw it.

((((love))))

thanks Dave, for sharing the sunrise with me today.

“Those old days when the balancing of a yellow butterfly

o’re a thistle bloom

Was spiritual food and lodging

for the whole afternoon.”  -Lowell

If Seth the small hadn’t gotten stuck in a pine tree down by the pond I probably wouldn’t have made my exciting nature discovery this morning.

But he did get stuck, and called for help, and that is how I stopped dusting and got outdoors.

As I walked down to lend a hand, I realized what a perfect autumn day it was turning out to be, glowing and breezy, warm and sunny.

He was outside in the first place, to wear off energy.  So I made him run while Sarah and I went down to the stream with scissors.  I was collecting thin branches of pretty leaves to fill a scarlet fiesta vase in the house.

The kittens ran ahead of us and raced through the tall grass and shrubs.   I heard a splash in the stream and thought one of them had fallen in.   When I saw they were both dry I next wondered if it had been a large turtle.

We meandered down the stream and pond and the sunshine was just right, making shadows and bright spots, in such a beautiful way.  I gazed ahead through the trees and saw, to my surprise, a dam of sticks and leaves blocking up the stream.  I stood and looked, almost not believing my eyes.  How could a new beaver dam be built so close to the house without us noticing it?

Then I thought that perhaps the splash I heard was a beaver jumping in the water.

We’ve witnessed their work before.  A few years back they plugged up the stream near the road, and the town came in to pull it up, twice.  Last year they were working further into the woods.  Now they are here.  How fascinating!

(beaver art)

We moved in closer and I noticed that the sticks were not chewed in the typical beaver way…..I think maybe they gathered up a lot of them from the ground in the woods….quite smart.  Investigating further, I also saw signs of fresh small trees being brought down, too.  Sad to say, when beavers are around, saying goodbye to trees will soon follow.  It hurts to see them go, but I have read that they can be useful in clearing out smaller ones,  enabling the remaining trees to thrive with more room to grow.

The stream is so full beyond the dam that it is softly flowing over the sides and into the woods, forming a small pond.  The sound of the water filtering through the sticks and leaves is soothing.   Some of it came up over my flip flops and I squealed ….so cold!  It is a new look for our stream and it will be interesting to see how it will all end.  The town isn’t very keen on beaver colonies.

“Hi!  I’m Sarah and I’m checking out the beaver dam with Mom!”

After we looked it all over and had a lesson on how to say “beaver” (Seth kept saying “fever”) we moved on to take pleasure the woods for a little while.

yellows and red

wondering if she should climb

a dry curling leaf

yellow leaves

climbing seth

Poor Seth ended up hurting his finger and getting a sliver so we headed back home for a bandaid.

The fresh air does a good job of tiring them out and right after lunch they went down for naps.  They are sleeping still, and I wonder if they dream of beavers?

Sarah, two years ago.

All seven of my children…David, Ethan with Seth, Jacob with Sarah, Caleb with his eyes closed, and Grace.

Fall, 2013