She’s been home sick for two days and she asked for braided bread.
We mixed it up together and then had to wait and wait.
It got so puffy as it baked.
one loaf
two loaf
She was playing at the sink as she waited for it to get done.
How is it Sarah?
Good.
I love you.
I like being your mama and taking good care of you.
The blog is a spiritual practice of sorts; because with it, I can intentionally go back through the moments of daily living, remember and savor them, and press on with gratitude.
Picking up the camera creates a feeling of expectation that there will be an image to record. An image just for me, a moment that speaks to my heart as a woman, a child of God, a homemaker, or a mother.
Each time I download, edit, study, is an opportunity to say “thank you”.
If other people happen to read it, enjoy, relate and want to be friends; that’s the icing on the cake!
The kitchen is where I go when I want a safe place….cooking shows are what I watch when all of life seems painfully overwhelming. Eating and drinking is something I never take for granted. To eat food without discomfort in the mouth or stomach; what a reason to praise! I love cooking and baking and serving. (cleaning up, not so much; only because my kitchen NEVER stays clean, it’s too busy).
I made kuchen on Saturday morning (we were having a snow day). It was a buttery yeast dough, pressed into a pie plate and left to rise. Then, a sprinkling of fruit and a topping of sugar mixed with egg, cinnamon, and cream. Baked in the oven, and eaten with whipped cream.
It was gone in no time at all.
I want to make it a few more times before I post a recipe because I made it according to the cookbook but want to tweak it a tad before I am satisfied. Although, even as it was, it was super delicious and my husband said over and over that it was good (and he’s not a sweets type of guy).
I gave David a photography lesson on taking pictures of cats that don’t want to look at you. “shake a plastic bag up by the camera”….. nice shot, Dave!
“Mom, can I make one of those orange things that smell like pine?” asked Seth.
It took me a little bit of questioning before I figured out that he was thinking of pushing cloves into an orange, and it was so adorable and random that of course I right away said yes and jumped off the couch to find my jar of cloves.
meanwhile, outside the snow was falling, falling
And Seth was in a laundry basket, working on his orange while the rest of us watched a live steam of Ethan’s wrestling tournament on the internet…….
The other funny thing Seth needed on Saturday was iced tea. Nothing would make him happier than some iced tea….so I got out my Aunt Colleen’s recipe and made it. I tend to think that cravings have a purpose and for the most part, should be satisfied. He also requested that he drink it “from that white owl mug”. As you wish, little prince.
And lest you think I spoil him, I did NOT let him stay home from school today even though he did his very best to try to convince me he was in agony with a stomach ache.
Sarah was asking her Dad all that snowy day if she could go outside with him as he plowed the driveway. The next morning, bright and early, her wish came true! It was adorable.
“How did you know I was taking your picture through the window?”
“I saw the light on your camera!”
On Sunday, we traveled about an hour to take Seth, Caleb, and David to their first wrestling meet of the season. On the way there, I told this long story about the unsatisfactory fiction book I had finished (it was mixed in with “pulitzer prize fiction” search on amazon!! and it was a piece of garbage!) UGH. I told him the whole story very animately and how ridiculous it was and when I was done Sarah piped up from the back seat and asked if the name of it was If God is Good.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?
I am constantly thrown off kilter by my children. How on EARTH would she think such a thing??
“Because I saw that book on the coffee table.”
“OH. No, Sarah, THAT book is really really good. The book I was talking about was called The Life we Bury.”
And I thought to myself, “She notices stuff I didn’t realize she noticed. Nothing gets by her.”
Now that’s some flower! I’ve had the grandest time watching this Christmas Cactus grow an itty bitty bud to a big, strong blossom.
“What’s this, Sarah?”
“My New Years Resolution.”
So it was pretty funny that the chapter we read this morning was about two little girls who decide to make other people happy.
The housekeeper said it would make her happy if they left the kitchen so she could scrub the floor.
The Mama said she was already happy. But they wanted to make her happier. “Just keep being my good little girl and then I’ll be quite happy enough.”
The old Grandfather said he was happy just to see them come and visit; but this time they insisted on DOING something to MAKE him happy so they cheerfully decided to take him for a walk outdoors until…. he asked if they didn’t think they had walked enough? He was so weary he went to bed and they tucked him into it. “What was the best part of your day, Grandfather?” “Getting into this nice warm bed, I’m very tired.” was his answer. They THOUGHT he would say, “Being taken for a walk.”
Then, the sick neighbor didn’t become happy when they sang many many songs (until they were hoarse!) to her. She was expecting the typical basket of food and not a never-ending repertoire of singing.
They give a bouquet of wildflowers to the hired man; later they find them in the compost heap.
They decide to give up trying.
But then they learn of a sick classmate and they made her happy by giving her a doll and a book.
WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.
My word of the year 2016 was COMPASSION and it especially pleased me to see this in Seth’s homework folder recently…..
“Your child is learning that people can show their compassion or others by saying something kind or doing something helpful.”
“Learning about how to show compassion for other people helps children take action on their feelings of empathy.”
I thought to myself, “what is the difference in *making people happy* and *showing compassion* and I think the answer is *the heart*”
Making people happy comes from ideas in your head. It’s a job you decide to do.
Showing compassion is feeling empathy in your heart and THEN acting on that feeling.
However, it DOES make people happy when you feel empathy and compassion toward them and DO something to show you care. How funny!
I think I’ll explain it better to the children later on today and see what they think.
I do know that Sarah was cold yesterday. As I rubbed her little bare arms with my hands she said, “Your touches make me warm.”
That’s all it takes, and I was blessed by her sweet words.
Happy Monday!
“I’ve had enough. I’m not going to make any more people happy.”
But we did, all the same, because the next day Miss Johnson told us that Martha, a girl in our class, wasn’t coming back to school for a long time. She was very, very sick and had to stay in bed several months. That night, before I went to sleep, I lay awake thinking about Martha, and then I decided to give her Bella, my most beautiful doll. This was because I knew that Martha didn’t have any toys at all…..In the morning when I told Anna that I was going to give Martha my doll, she went to get her nicest story book. And after school we went over to Martha’s house……My, oh, my how happy she was!
“When we were outside the door, I said to Anna, “Isn’t it funny, now we’ve made someone happy without even trying.”
The Children of Noisy Village, by Astrid Lindgren (who also wrote Pippi Longstocking!)
This morning before school Sarah read me her reading assignment. It was a book by Gail Gibbons about the sun.
It became an unexpected sacred morning moment; a small girl tucked up beside me reading in her sweet voice.
“The sun gives all living things energy and strength in order to grow.”
Ah yes, thank you Jesus, the Light of the world and only Son of God.
“Without the sun, there would be only darkness and nothing could live.”
…..he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
What a dark and deathly world it would be without His presence.
All of humanity benefits from his warm and life-giving light.
I see Him everywhere, I know you do, too. There is no need to force a religion (laws and rule keeping) when you truly believe and love Christ. He opens your eyes to see Him, He puts a longing (hunger and thirst) inside of you to know His beauty, and the whole of life blossoms and flourishes because of the relationship you share with Him.
Since Sarah read me her book, an old hymn has been keeping me company for the morning; written by Philip Bliss, the author of many of our favorite hymns:
The Light of the World is Jesus
The whole world was lost in the darkness of sin,
The Light of the world is Jesus!
Like sunshine at noonday, His glory shone in;
The Light of the world is Jesus!
Come to the light, ’tis shining for thee;
Sweetly the light has dawned upon me;
Once I was blind, but now I can see:
The Light of the world is Jesus!
No darkness have we who in Jesus abide;
The Light of the world is Jesus!
We walk in the light when we follow our Guide!
The Light of the world is Jesus!
No need of the sunlight in Heaven we’re told;
The Light of the world is Jesus!
The Lamb is the Light in the city of gold,
The Light of the world is Jesus!
*******
After getting Sarah on the bus, I went for a short ramble all by myself in the snow. I was still wearing my pajamas but it wasn’t too cold thanks to a sweatshirt, a sweater, and shawl.
Orange fungus growing on a dead tree;
I noticed snow covered cobweb wisps everywhere on the trees (why?)…….
reflection of the stream;
texture of slushy icy water;
black and white;
There is something magical about being outside in the woods while it’s snowing.
Inside the chicken coop;
I was thrilled to find a half dozen eggs!! (the hens haven’t been laying for over a month)
I rewarded them with a bowl of snow.
Which they appreciated very much.
******
And now for a recipe.
This recipe is “blog worthy” because the whole family loves it. It’s different; there is no milk or cheese in the sauce, the mayonnaise gives it a richness.
Scalloped Potatoes and Onions
5 large potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
3/4 cup chopped onion
6 T. butter
1/2 cup flour
3 1/2 cups low sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Preheat oven to 325. Grease a baking dish.
Layer potatoes and onion in prepared baking dish.
Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat; stir in flour until smooth. Gradually add broth, mayonnaise, salt, pepper; cook and stir until thick and bubbly, about 2 minutes. Pour mayonnaise mixture over potatoes and onion. Cover baking dish with aluminum foil.
Bake in preheated oven until potatoes are tender, about 1 hour 45 minutes. Remove foil and continue to bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes more. Cool slightly; serve.
(I double this for my family)
Also, the original recipe doesn’t call for ham, but I do add it whenever I have leftovers to use up. Enjoy.
The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world’s joy.
Henry Ward Beecher
I have found the one whom my soul loves. Song of Solomon
Grace and Jacob were available to take care of the house and children for a few days so Rich and I decided to stay two nights in Vermont. We stayed close by our Ethan’s college so that we could visit with him when he was free.
After the busyness of the holidays, it was calming to be alone together.
I can sense our marriage shifting, ever so slowly, from the stage of “super busy with little ones” to “busy raising children but life is quieting down just a tiny bit”……it doesn’t seem like a big of enough change to even notice and indeed, most of the time we don’t realize that things are changing in a way that effects us as a couple.
In fact, “being a couple” has been sort of hard during the years of babies and little ones. It’s been more like two trains passing in the night at times………
This weekend, being alone just the two of us, without a worry or a care for the children we left back home, showed us that there is still a deep contentment and companionship between our two souls.
The children will grow and move on, but the two of us will always have each other “til death do us part.” We’re friends, we know one another, we enjoyed our time together this weekend very much; reading, working out, eating meals, holding hands, little touches, talking or not talking, getting coffees, driving, sleeping, resting, watching a little tv…..all very ordinary things, but with a quiet joy from being happy together.
It’s been nice to watch my parent’s marriage evolve from full nest to empty nest and it’s nice to see that Rich and I are following in their footsteps in this way. Lovebirds.
(I know it will be a long time before we have a literal empty nest, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now so that’s good…….)
Also, I took pictures out the window of lovely Vermont.
two things:
We took Ethan bowling and I actually scored an 84….coming in last place as usual but I have hopes of continuing to improve. There was a group of women of all ages next to us throwing strikes on a consistent basis. Even an old old lady who couldn’t even bend over. She just walked up and swung her arm and got strikes.
We ate breakfast together at one of those shiny stainless steel diners shaped like a railroad car. I took this photo because the waitress was walking back and forth from the kettle pouring hot steamy brewed tea into gallon jars. She said it was for iced tea, and that they go through a lot of it in a day.
“We need to live in the now of life,
it can’t be about how much we suffered yesterday
or what we might face tomorrow.
It’s about today. And today was good”
~bonnie leon
twenty pacifiers
twenty matchbox cars
twenty laps around the house
twenty times watching Busy Town
twenty naps resisted
twenty days of Kindergarten
twenty little green army guys
twenty light sabers
twenty lego sets built
twenty fish in the pond
twenty walks with the dog
twenty books read
twenty trips to the orthodontist
twenty pizzas eaten
twenty pictures drawn (with sharpies)
twenty albums bought for your ipod
twenty acts of kindness
twenty sweet kisses
twenty days of your first job
twenty songs sung
and only one you.
Happy 20th birthday, Jacob!
“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
“Come in, — come in! and know me better, man! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Look upon me! You have never seen the like of me before!”
I’m going to be completely honest with you, by yesterday evening I was filled with glee because I was glad Christmas was over….and by “Christmas” I mean all the buying of gifts, wrapping, baking, cleaning, and so on. I really wish Santa WAS real, it would save me a lot of work. It’s fun and all, but only to a certain extent, and then the stress kicks in and you start to wonder if the gifts are okay and if they will be received with gladness and if the children will be healthy and then it becomes your time of the month on top of it all, which explains why you were grumpy that one night when the kids had friends over and it was all you could do not to go in your room and shut the door because your head felt as if it would explode…….
But then your husband helps you find the presents in all the secret hiding spots and tells you numerous times that you did a great job and gives you little kisses and it’s Christmas Eve and the boys keep trying to get up without ever even going to sleep and you say over and over to yourself in that still small voice, “remember these moments”…….because you know even if you do at this moment wish things were a little quieter– someday you just might wish things were back to chaotic for an hour or two. Maybe.
On Christmas Eve we crave cinnamon rolls and thanks to my friend April we also made orange rolls for the first time and boy were they heavenly.
I totally fell in love with The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I’ve seen the movie through the years and have read the book a few times but this year I became a true and devoted fan of the story. It’s so rich and beautiful. It has everything; loss, darkness, greed, selfishness, ghosts, hauntings, music, bitter cold, snow, old city life, memorable characters, lessons learned, truth, love, nostalgia, joy, smiles, laughter, and a HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I read the book again, which of course is the very best way to experience the story, and then watched two of the movies and I watched them with as much full attention as I could (without my phone next to me).
And lest you think my opening confession was rather Scrooge-like, let me clarify that I wholeheartedly love Christmas for what it truly is supposed to be; giving and receiving, yes, but also heart and soul, togetherness, beauty, family and friends. Those are the qualities of Christmas that I love the most, & I know you do, too.
“For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself.”
“He was consious of a thousand odours floating in the air, each one connected with a thousand thoughts, and hopes, and joys, and cares, long, long, forgotten.”
“I have always thought of Christmastime, when it has come round…as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”
(Caleb was feeling under the weather and buried himself in blankets and pillows as he watched TV) soooo cute
Ethan is home from college and my heart is content to have all the children with us again.
Abundance.
waking up the sleepy heads
We unwrapped all the presents and then got ready for Church.
Seth had a candy cane in his mouth and Ethan had crest white strips on his teeth. I didn’t know this until on the way to church when I had time to study the photos and ask questions.
I thought Sarah’s Christmas hair was adorable. I put it in two pigtails, pulled the hair through half way, and then pinned on gold bows. She of course, hated it, but I told her too bad. And with a compromise, she didn’t have to wear a fancy dress.
My camera heart gravitates toward the child who doesn’t get to attend church with us during the school year anymore….it was so nice to see him in the pew as I looked over at my sons in a row.
Rich and Grace both had small parts in the service so they sat in front. To be honest, I made Rich come back to sit with me as his part wasn’t until almost the end of the service and I didn’t want to sit there alone without my husband the whole time.
Caleb got a hug…….
Sarah found a listening ear…………
Grace read from Luke chapter 2……….
Best friends and brothers in Christ.
(Michael took a photo of the family for me but I’m not going to post it until next month (year) because I never sent out Christmas cards, therefore I am sending out New Years cards with a family photo and I don’t want to show anyone the picture yet or it will be boring to send out in the mail).
After church I made a ham dinner and then was filled with the feeling that all was accomplished and I could rest. It was a most blessed evening of being so very relaxed with all the children around us.
I’m in the midst of the the book on top, which is something I bought a few years ago but just got around to reading. It is very very good (high quality writing). Sigrid Undset also wrote Kirsten Lavransdatter which is an amazing book. The rest of the titles are from my husband based on my explicit instructions.
How thankful I am through it all, for the blessings of our life, the warmth, the joy, the endless little surprises from living with children, and for most of all, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the eternal life He has given. God is so good and we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses that prove all of what He truly means to us. I’m so glad He loves us just the way we are.
Merry Christmas!
“I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! Hallo here! Whoop! Hallo!”
“His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.”
PS, Penny, I wrote this post for you. (because you encouraged me). xoxoxo loves.
We were watching A Christmas Carol last night and Scrooge was saying once again, “I hadn’t noticed….” to which the spirit said, “You hadn’t noticed. One would think you had gone through life with your eyes closed.” and I thought to myself, oh let my eyes be open…….
…open to see messy beauty all around
….open to love my community, my family, my people, not only to give it, but to see it happening
….open to see the hand of God and His works in the land of the living
…open to see what is true
…open to see what is lovely
Let me not miss a thing.
But see, I WILL miss seeing some things! And even that fact is a wondrous revelation! God is doing so much good, more “behind the scenes” good than we will ever count or notice! Things so hidden that they will not be revealed until life truly begins (in Heaven).
So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you……
Seth read a little book in school about how places around the world celebrate the holidays. The page about Italy was the only one that mentioned baby Jesus and he noticed. He had the eyes to see and the mind to understand that Italy was the place for him to visit. Because he is a Christian.
***
Because Sarah is so little, I have to walk her to the bus every morning, right up to the bus door on the other side of the road. It’s so very cold, I often have a secret dislike in going outside with her to do this mothering job. But when I hold her hand and get ready to let go of her for the morning, I say, “Have a nice day, Sarah, I love you!” and she says, “You too, I love you, too!” to me and my heart melts into a big puddle and I feel that love that she has for me and I remember to be thankful.
***
Last night I was tired and Ethan was hungry. He had just arrived home from visiting his girlfriend and he was wandering around opening cupboards looking for food. Even though I didn’t want to, I took pity on him, got off the couch and made him a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel. Yes, he could have done it himself, but he has been away at college for weeks and weeks and was hungering for not only food, but an act of love from his Mom. I ended up serving him his food on a small fiesta plate, happy to cook for my boy, my heart changed from one of grumpiness because I wanted to just lay on the couch, into one of gratitude that I could serve my family in this small way. It only took 5 minutes, for goodness sakes.
***
Grace had committed herself to making 25 corn bags for music kids at school. Oh how I was inwardly groaning because I had packed all my sewing stuff away about a year ago, I could not even recall where I had put the sewing machine. To make a long story short, she did find it, it did still work, it was still threaded, we did not run out of bobbin thread, and I did all the sewing of the bags because she did run out of free time. Once again, what began in groaning ended in yet another lesson on selflessness and doing what I am meant to do right now–be a mom.
***
I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thoughtful. I made a big pot of baked beans because Sarah was craving them, but the boys ate them, too. The next day I made chili for dinner. Then the boys had wrestling practice. You see where this is going. David said to me on the way home last night, “Mom, you gave me chili and I far*ed 13 times at practice tonight and I just did again while I was saying this to you.” I had to roll the window all the way down as I drove….laughing….later I told my mom the story and she said, “That is a tactical move” and Rich said, “Offensive, too.” There is no point to this story.
***
Ethan and I just spent a most comfortable day together doing nothing. I wasn’t feeling well and no one else is here for Ethan to hang out with so we just lounged around. I made him pancakes for breakfast and toasted cheese for lunch. He put wood pellets in the stove and carried in boxes for me. We took naps and I read a book. We hardly spoke but we enjoyed each others company. He said a quiet day like today would be awful if he was alone at college, but to be home makes all the difference.
***
Seth snuggling with me on the couch
washing Sarah’s hair for her, blowing it dry and braiding it for bedtime
loving texts from my husband
having Jacob wake up David because he overslept and almost missed the bus
cats and a dog that cannot talk yet we sense and know their love and loyalty
christmas cookies
***
The other night David took a bowl of burning hot soup to bed with him and dumped it down his pants. That same night Caleb went to bed with an ice pack for a groin injury. He fell asleep with it, only to wake up hours later with wet shorts and a perplexing problem…until his mind woke up enough to realize what he had done.
***
Truly, having children is a guarantee that there is always something to laugh about.
“It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”
**christmas dishes**
**wrapping all the gifts**
**christmas past**
**I see boys having fun, little bits of them left behind everywhere**
I just know I’ll always stumble across nerf bullets and legos far after they’ve grown and gone.
I am determined to go through this Christmas season with my eyes and heart wide open. (I may have to take a break now and then. LOL)
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” … the Little Prince
PS, the corn bags
Today my two oldest boys played ice hockey on the pond with their friends.
And I found out what my first grader likes to do at christmas time.
Me too, Sarah Joy!
xo
Rich was making plans to be away on Saturday for a wrestling tournament but a winter snowfall came and it was blessedly cancelled. Sometimes a change of plans is without a doubt a gift from God, a way to slow us down and keep us home, to remember and enjoy each other.
We painted while listening to Christmas songs.
The children gathered their snow clothes and bundled up to go sledding. All around them were trees covered with new snow and fresh cold air. The climbed up the hill, slid down, and did it again and again.
When they came back inside, they threw their snow things on the floor to dry. (But Mama made them hang them from hooks and chairs).
There was a cozy fire to sit next to, hot drinks, and games to play.
We all agreed that The Polar Express was a most wonderful movie.
There were books to pick up and read, and cats to hold on our laps.
Each year the children become more helpful in the kitchen.
We made tray upon tray of Christmas cookies.
It took more work to clean up than it did to do the baking.
And then it was time to listen to Dad read a year after year favorite.
By-ends and his schoolfellows walked on together, laughing and talking. Christian and Hopeful were not very far from them, and presently the four boys ran after them and began to ask them foolish questions. They pretended that they wished to know whether some of the things that they were fond of doing were wrong and likely to displease the King, and they hoped that Christian would not be brave enough to answer them truly, because then they would be able to call him a coward. But although little Christian was a shy and timid child, he was not afraid to speak the truth. He had learned to love the King dearly, and no fear of what these rough boys might do to him would have made him agree with By-ends and his friends. He answered all their questions bravely and truly, and at last they began to feel ashamed of themselves and said no more. Christian was very glad when they left him, and he went on with Hopeful, while By-ends stayed behind with his three idle companions. pg 99
1 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar and 1/2 cup confectioner’s sugar
cream in mixer
add 1 egg and 1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon peppermint extract
cream all together
then add 2 1/2 cups flour
half a teaspoon salt and mix well.
divide dough in half; mix red food coloring into half the dough
chill until firm enough to handle
now comes the fun part: playing with the dough
make two ropes with each color dough, twist together into a cane.
bake each tray at 375, 8-10 minutes
enjoy!
PS, Dave, I was texting you the whole time I did this blog post.
xo
Good to be Home 