About Shanda

wife, mom of seven, friend, child of God

tired

Posted on May 16, 2016 by Shanda

I am currently sitting on the couch fully dressed and ready to go to yet another Children’s Hospital appointment with Sarah Joy in regards to her kidney. I have my robe on over my clothes because I am freezing. It’s 46 degrees outside with a very strong and persistent wind. In other words, it feels like a rather blustery day, today. I will take the robe off before I pick Sarah up from school, hopefully, and put on a winter coat.

I am exhausted. I am thinking about all the things that my family has planned for the next month: prom for Grace, Senior banquet for Grace (who is dating a senior) and Ethan (my senior son), baccalaureate, graduation, field trips, concerts, a church picnic and baptism at which my son Caleb will be baptized, graduation party for Ethan, Rich has two business trips, and all this along with the little league games that happen several times a week and the little surprises that life throws at us now and then…..and I am exhausted. Did I mention I am tired?

I keep thinking: “Do one thing mindfully at a time with as much love and care as possible.” This is easier said than done. Especially the “mindfully one thing at a time” part.

I also keep thinking “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

And lastly, I keep thinking “I want to sleep, but at least I’m not crying or anxious.”

This morning I found nine fiesta bowls, three plates, a bunch of paper plates, and four mugs in the basement, left there by Ethan, Grace, Caleb, Kylie, Zak, David, Caleb, and Zach. (all teenagers) Seriously? What I have to say is this: “There is to be no more eating downstairs, my dear children.”

The other day (when it wasn’t 46 degrees), David and his friends played in the stream. It’s funny because of of them is named Michael, and since we already have a Michael here all the time, we differentiate them by calling the younger one “up the road Michael”. (Because he lives… up the road.)

I was attempting a photo of the hanging baskets which are so pretty, but you can’t really see them very well. Thankfully, the house, garage, and lawns are pretty tidy at this point and there won’t be much to do to prepare outside for the picnic and party. I’ve been doing a lot of gardening, which is probably why I’m so tired. My body is trying to get back into the swing of things after a long winter.

David could not find a golf tee so used a pencil. Genius (although it took about five minutes to get the ball to balance).

Entrance to the trails (we call one the Dam trail and one the Adventure trail) by our house.

starflower

Fringed Polygala

“this exquisite, orchid-like wildflower resembles a tiny airplane without a tail.”

Lady slippers, almost ready to bloom

violets

The largest wintergreen berry I ever saw. And then I ate it.

make a wish!

I picked a small bouquet of violets, buttercups, bluets, and Kentucky bluegrass.

There is something quite calming about looking through the grass for just the right flower, bending, picking, adding it to the bouquet and then doing it over again and again until you’re done.

And this little bird…a very dark photo….which is a hazard of shooting in manual mode but then seeing something you have to photograph before it flies away so you don’t think to change your settings and then the picture is either blown out or too dark. However, I can identify the bird as an…..OVENBIRD. Thanks to my Merlin ID app on my phone (indispensable!!) “Secretive warbler that lacks vibrant colors, but compensates with its enormous voice.”

Yep, that’s right. I got a photo of a secretive bird! I do feel proud.

*****

Well that about does it for this blog post and thank you all very much for listening. As a writer of blogs and journals, I do feel better after a good scratch of the pencil or tip tap on the computer keys!

“If you’re completely exhausted
and don’t know how
you’re going to keep giving this much of yourself
day after day
you’re probably a good parent.”
Bunmi Laditan

with seth

Posted on May 13, 2016 by Shanda

I know right away when I love a song……as soon as I hear it, it sort of stops me in my tracks. I travel away into the song, forgetting everything around me….

and this is one of them!

A song for a Friday.

(Grace sent it to me one day in a message through FB.)

Today was Senior Skip day. Ethan made homemade pancakes for breakfast using his Grandma’s recipe for himself and four of his friends. While he was making them, I got ready to go out shopping and then the phone rang. It was the elementary school nurse calling me in regards to Seth. She wanted me to come and get him because he was uncomfortable with an allergic reaction in his eye.

Do any of you have this problem? Or a child with this problem? It’s the dust. It gets in his eye and the eyeball itself swells, sometimes the lid and the “bag” underneath also swells, but the eye gets red and itchy, too. It happens randomly now that it’s springtime and most often when he is on the little league field playing ball in all that dust. I normally do nothing about it but a cool washcloth because it resolves within a few hours, but it does look and feel terrible.

I asked him when I walked him out to the car, “Seth, Mommy was about to go to Target but I suppose you probably can’t go because of your sore eye, right?” And he sighed like a martyr and said, “I can go. It’s just an eye.” “Oh, Seth! Are you sure?” “Yeah”, he says, with that same little sigh but I know very well he’s dying to go to Target with me.

“Why are there so many cars there?”
“Is this the road Aunt Amanda lives on?”
“Can I have batting gloves?”
“Can we go to Dick’s?”
“Can I get a batting helmet?”
“What’s your age plus Dad’s age?”
“Is anyone at home right now?”
“When does David get home?”
“Can we listen to music?”
“Am I going to practice tonight?”
“Are we still in Connecticut?”

He had lots of questions and as is typical, whenever one child is with me, that child talks nonstop to Mom and I sit and drive and smile and listen and my heart….it swells up so big with joy. I say, “You are so cute.” and I reach over to pat their shoulder now and then.

We went to Goodwill first and I actually found a piece of fiestaware. It’s a seamist sugar bowl without the lid. It was super exciting. I also got a springtime wreath for 3 dollars and some other odds and ends.

Mainly, the purpose of the trip was to have fun getting a few summer items for Seth and Sarah. Sarah has grown so much that her last year’s shorts are much too short. I keep saying to her, “Yes you can wear those shorts to school IF you put a skirt on over them.” The one pair of longer shorts she has she refuses to wear because she thinks they are swimming shorts.

Seth found a Land’s End swimming shirt at Goodwill. He says he likes it because it will keep him warm under the water. He also got a pair of swimming trunks (Lego Movie) from Target.

This bottle was 50 cents at Goodwill. I brought it home and put dandelion seeds in it.

We ate chick fil a drive thru for lunch and he said, “Thanks, Mom.” And he also said, while eating, “I bet fries are made of potatoes.” He said this after he noticed the waffle fry had skin on it like a potato. It only took him seven years to figure it out!

He bought a calculator from Goodwill for a dollar and made up math problems to ask me. He was so surprised, stunned really, when I got them right. Mind you, it was first grade math.

When we got home he played baseball for a little while and I planted carrots and sunflowers.

Now he’s snoring on the couch, five minutes after telling me he didn’t want to take a nap.

It’s been a super delightful morning with my Sethie.

the very interesting outdoors

Posted on May 12, 2016 by Shanda

During all these years there existed within me a tendency to follow Nature in her walks.
John James Audubon

Several days ago, after Aunt Colleen and Uncle Roger visited me, I meandered back to the interesting patch of violets we had discovered. We liked them because of their pale and dainty purple faces. I took a photo while flat on my tummy and, unsurprisingly, it proved to be a quite comfortable spot for a short rest. I could hear my two youngest children playing together on the trampoline. They called to me, “Mom! Hi, MOM!” and I waved to them and smiled. I soon heard a beautiful bird song in the trees. Often I hear bewitching birdsongs but alas, cannot see the bird. But this time, as I sat and folded my legs up Indian-style, I peered into the trees with my chin high and saw a startling spot of red. As Colleen and I visited, we had talked of birds and flowers. I asked her if she ever saw Scarlet Tanagers at her house. I told her how a few years back I had seen one and would like very much to see another, never expecting that after her visit one would come close enough for me to hear its singing, and see it’s bright red feathered coat.

I watched the Scarlet Tanager until it flew away. Then I saw a small red thing in the grass next to me. I picked it very carefully up, expecting it to be a mushroomy fungus type of thing.

But it had legs.

It was so all over red! Quite fascinating indeed.

dandelions and apple blossoms

planted peas and radishes in the garden

took care of the hens

checked on my toad babies

sat on the front porch to chat with a friend

watched as two turkey vultures landed in the trees by the stream down at the edge where our property meets state land

There is a sense of glorious freedom in the air this week. In the beginning of the month, for dreary days on end, there was nothing but gray skies and cold rain. But now, once again, the sun is shining and every plant, bird, animal, and human can’t help but be a little more active, a little more cheerful.

I sat against a pine tree by the pond to watch the vultures. At first I wondered if I was watching a courtship, since there were only two and they were staying close to each other. At one point they were both on the same branch, side by side.

But then I saw a rustling in the bushes underneath them. Jacob and I walked over and looked, but we didn’t see a dying animal. However, we did not search thoroughly because I, for one, had a very creepy crawly feeling and he kept saying “I have to leave in 10 minutes for school, Mom.”

They are a rather gothic-looking bird, wrapped in long black feathered cloaks. Red bald heads and a white beak complete the deathly attire. They are useful but chilling birds, as they are attracted to the scent of dying animals and dumpsters.

They flew away as they sensed that Jacob and I were observing them but they came back at the end of the day while Rich and I were away at a little league game. Sarah told me later that she saw one up close while she was on the play set.

I feel like there might be more to this story. I will investigate later on and see if they return today.

I always look for this turtle, as I can usually find it out sunning himself as I walk along the edge of our lawn. We have a stream that goes along the far side of our property, and the water is always a good location to see a variety of different flowers, birds, and other creatures.

I loved how the turtle had its funny legs hanging loosely out of his shell, soaking up all the warmth of the sun. His neck was stretched out as far as it could go, to keep an eye on me (his enemy, he thinks, but I would never hurt him). Soon he slipped back into the dark water. It was fun to imagine his sweet and simple life.

I want to try to draw these curly, swirly vines with green leaves just popping out. Wouldn’t they make a nice border for a picture?

jackanapes2

Watching fish swim this way and that way is mesmerizing. Meditation is quite natural while watching them. There are fish of all sizes in the pond, which I like to think of as our own giant fish tank. The smallest minnows stayed closer to me and I was able to watch them for a long time. The way they swim is a marvel. Smoothly they swim along and then *STOP*– with no hesitation or slowing down, before swimming along again.

Every black speck is a toad tadpole. Sometimes a bunch of them get stranded on dry land from living too dangerously on the edge of the water. They die, but if I happen to be walking by I do some life-saving and scrape them back into the pond again. Their little tails wriggle. I ring Jacob on my cellphone to tell him to call the dog up to the house. If Parker the dog is outside he does whatever I do, and a dog watching tadpoles is never a good thing.

rather elegant, wouldn’t you agree?

bits of purple in the woods

what a wonderful way to clear the mind

and dazzle the eyes

with shades of pink

and blossom time

I sat by the stream in the open meadow at the dam and saw a tiny speck of orange. A Baltimore Oriole!

This sweet little bird wanted me to leave.

It had a nest nearby.

But my seat was soft. It was moss.

I saw a Solitary Sandpiper next! Oh what a day for birds.

This bird bobbed up and down as it walked, so very charmingly! It made me want to hum a song. A bouncy song.

I love the refection it made of its solitary self as it edged along the calm water of the open stream.

I wanted to get a little closer to it, so I took my seat off the soft moss and climbed up on the rocks.

But then……….

I froze (and so did he). I considered. The rocks I was upon were the very best apartment complex for the snake population I ever did see. Surrounded by water, open sunshine, and many small meals. But while I admired the wise choices of this snake, I decided not to take another step on those rocks……good bye snake, good bye birds. I’m going home now.

In my hands I carried a stick covered in ridges and indentations from a bug?or worm? The bark was off so it was smooth other than the hollow tracking marks. It looked like a secret message written in another language, if only I could decipher it. I had a sprig of apple blossoms, two sweet white violets, a marsh marigold (which promptly wilted in the vase at home) and another yellow wild flower.

I revelled in my alone-ness. It felt so good (nature’s spa treatments) to walk in my flip-flops through marshy cool waters. I had been prowling about for an hour or so and felt quiet, dirty, rested, and as deliciously solitary as the Sandpiper I had met. I came out of the woods at the end of the long pond to see that I had company. The lawn men had arrived, and one of them was busily cursing his weed eater as he worked along the side bank by the pond.

It was very tempting to turn around and go right back in the woods.

sometimes

Posted on May 9, 2016 by Shanda

Sometimes life is very crappy.

But, I think you will agree,

that much of it is

very dear.

Mother’s Day, 2016 began with my husband waking me up from a very sound sleep, with two small sons on either side of him. They had made me breakfast to eat in bed. As soon as they exited the room, leaving me to struggle awake and try to open my mouth wide enough to bite into a huge bagel egg sandwich, my Mom texted me “Happy Mothers Day!” When I was done eating, I called her and we had a nice little chat. By that time, Grace and Sarah were awake and snuggled on each side of me.

So the day began with love.

Rich left to go to church with four of the boys. I stayed home to take Ethan and Grace to school so they could prepare for their final performance of Mary Poppins. Sarah insisted on staying with me, even though it would mean she would see the play three entire times over the weekend. We dropped Ethan and Grace off four hours before show time, and then drove in the rain to the grocery story to get flowers and snacks for them to take to the cast party.

As I was putting things away, I received a text asking me if I would like to go back to the school because there was a “Character Tea Party” being held in the cafeteria which Grace thought I would enjoy. Sarah had just started eating her special soup that she chose at the store to have for lunch (it was 11:00 am) but when I told her the message she put the lid back on. “I can just put this in the fridge for later,” she explained, which I thought was so sweet. Sarah was all set to run right back out the door which encouraged me to go ahead and text Grace, “I’m on my way.”

We had a nice tea party at a pretty blue and white table with Jenna and her mom and aunt. Sarah liked the cucumbers and pickles and her tea cup full of lemonade. We were also served jam sandwiches and several other tasty bite-sized foods and treats. Grace, as Mrs. Brill, sat with us and kept saying, “I’m so happy, Mom, I’m so so happy. Happy Mother’s Day.” Grace herself was the highlight of the tea for me, and I hold her sparkling eyes and joy in my heart even now. Ethan and Caleb were there, too, begging for food from our plates. We were able to see and meet Mary Poppins and Burt, and the other characters, too. Sarah blushed several shades of pink when Burt spoke to her.

We attended the 2pm performance, me and my little friend Sarah, along with my sister and her family, and Isaac and Cassandra.

It was a wonderful production and I will post photos of the play, very soon.

Sarah fell asleep in the backseat while I drove the kids to their cast party. Back home, I got into bed with Sarah and read a book with her snuggled up next to me. David came in and out of the room to visit, too. I have such comfortable children. The afternoon passed by so quickly. Soon it was the end of the day and I was on the couch with Rich when Emily and Jacob arrived with a mother’s card for me with SIXTEEN signatures on it. It was such a surprise and I will treasure it always. Jacob had his siblings sign it, plus Emily and eight of their dearest friends, who are at our house so often that they are rather like part of the family and my children, too. (Thank you all!!!!!) Jacob, Ethan, Grace, David, Caleb, Seth, Sarah, PLUS Caleb T, Zak, Zach, Allie, Emily, Emily, Tessa, Michael, Cody. God bless you.

From what I understand, Jacob had driven all over the place gathering up the signatures.

They also gave me two broody chicken figurines, which make me smile. Sarah said, “Where are their FEET?” and I explained that when a hen is sitting on eggs they tuck their feet all up underneath them so they cannot be seen.

In fact, we currently have two broody hens in the chicken coop nesting boxes and no amount of common sense conversation is making them understand that they are sitting on eggs which will never become chicks. One of the hens has even plucked all her feathers off her “underside” so as to warm the eggs better. Every time I go in I remove any eggs from under her, receiving several sharp peck on the hand for my efforts. But the warmth she can generate is wonderful.

*****

(Some) of the mothers in my life; Grandma (holding my son David) Great Grandma, and mom.

Thirteen years ago.

I honor and love you.

short n sweet

Posted on May 6, 2016 by Shanda

If we triumph in the little things
of our common hours,
we are sure to triumph in our lives.
~Anonymous

Happy Friday!

I took this photo of Seth after school one day this week. He’s hugging Gentleman Gray and eating a snack of Pringles, raspberries, and strawberries, on a vintage amberstone (“sister” of fiesta ware) small plate.

Yesterday, at the end of the day, I did a five minute photo shoot of Jacob’s girlfriend, Emily.

♥ with Sarah ♥

♥ with Jacob ♥

I’ve been making homemade coffee creamer and it is delicious!

It’s one can of sweetened condensed milk, mixed with two cups of half n half, and a 1/4 teaspoon of extract. (I used vanilla the first batch, and almond the 2nd batch).

Rose bud vase,
marigold java mug.

i’ll triple the recipe for you

Posted on May 5, 2016 by Shanda

My dear little children,

I love you so much.
I’ll give you all the hugs you want.
I will wash your dirty clothes every day.
I will drive you all over the place.
I will bring your forgotten stuff to school for you.
I will watch your plays and games.
I will laugh at you, and with you.
I will take many pictures of you, because I think you are cute.
I will let you stay up late sometimes.
I will read you books.
I will nurture you.
I will triple the cookie recipe for you.

That’s a lot of cookies.

blown away by grace (book recommendations)

Posted on May 4, 2016 by Shanda

More than anything, my mind is opened up and my soul is refreshed by the written word. This list of books is for any of my friends here who like to read and would benefit from a good dose of grace.

Call the Midwife, series by Jennifer Worth

At the age of twenty-two, Jennifer Worth leaves her comfortable home to move into a convent and become a midwife in postwar Lond’s East End slims. The colorful characters she meets while delivering babies illuminate a fascinating time in history. Beautifully written and utterly moving, Call the Midwife will touch the hearts of anyone. ~From the back of the book

Those who perform a service well must do so without judgement. The women in this book who serve their community as nurses and midwives do so in a way that will leave you breathless because they value and learn from those they serve. These are stories of true need, heartache, and love. Squeaky-clean Christians would do well to read these messy-beautiful humble stories that will make you laugh and cry.

“Now and then in life, love catches you unawares, illuminating the dark corners of your mind, and filling them with radiance. Once in a while you are faced with a beauty and a joy that takes your soul, all unprepared, by assault.” Jennifer Worth

(also a great TV series on PBS!)

Same Kind of Different as Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

Gritty with pain and betrayal and brutality, it also shines with an unexpected, life-changing love.

“I found out everybody’s different – the same kind of different as me. We’re all just regular folks walkin down the road God done set in front of us. The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless – just workin our way toward home” Denver Moore

Grace for the Good Girl, by Emily P. Freeman

What would happen if we let grace pour out boundless acceptance into our worn-out hearts and undo us? If we dared to talk about the ways we hid, our longing to be known, and the fear in the knowing? Emily Freeman invites you to release your tight hold on that familiar, try-hard life and lean your weight heavy into the love of Jesus. ~from back cover

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen

No one should leave church feeling manipulated, controlled, shamed, or condemned. But places of shelter and encouragement can become abusive if spiritual leaders begin to use their authority to meet their needs for importance, power, or spiritual gratification. Here you’ll discover how to identify an abusive church and also how to break free from its destructive legalism. Insightful, practical, and solidly grounded in Scripture, this book has what you need to recover a grace-filled relationship with God and His church.

Families Where Grace is in Place, by Jeff Van Vonderen

Here is a message about how God’s grace can transform relationship within a marriage and family. The first step is learning the simple difference between God’s job and ours. God’s part is to fix and change. Our responsibility is to depend on the Holy Spirit, serve our families, and help to equip them to be all they can be. ~back cover

Freedom From Performing, by Becky Harling

My aunt read this book and knew my heart needed the message, too. I will always treasure her copy of the book that she gave to me, full of her underlines and notes.

For years, author Becky Harling lived for the rave reviews of others, until God directed her from performance-driving theatrics to a leading role as a grace-motivated follower of Jesus. She only needed to be herself, and so do you. ~back cover

Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

The late Lewis, Oxford professor, scholar, author, and Christian apologist, presents the listener with a case for orthodox Christianity. This is definitely not the shouting, stomping, sweating, spitting televangelist fare so often parodied; Lewis employs logical arguments that are eloquently expressed. ~quote from Michael T. Fein on amazon.com

I love Lewis’ honesty as he writes in a logical way regarding Christianity. The words he writes about “religious” people and their pride make me want to shout “Amen!” There is good reason that this book is considered a classic. I learned much from Mere Christianity at just the right time in my spiritual journey.

What’s so Amazing about Grace? by Philip Yancy

Recommended to me by my friend Christie, years ago. This is one of the first books I read that showed me the practical ways grace is lived out.

In What’s So Amazing About Grace? award-winning author Philip Yancey explores grace at street level. If grace is God’s love for the undeserving, he asks, then what does it look like in action? And if Christians are its sole dispensers, then how are we doing at lavishing grace on a world that knows far more of cruelty and unforgiveness than it does of mercy?

“Having spent time around “sinners” and also around purported saints, I have a hunch why Jesus spent so much time with the former group: I think he preferred their company. Because the sinners were honest about themselves and had no pretense, Jesus could deal with them. In contrast, the “saints” put on airs, judged him, and sought to catch him in a moral trap. In the end it was the “saints”, not the “sinners”, who arrested Jesus.” Philip Yancey

101 Cups of Water, by C.D. Baker

My friend Kathy discovered this book a few years ago and bought me a copy. It was a much needed dose of real grace for both of us.

For every time you’ve tried too hard, fell too far, or struggled too much, the refreshing cups in this book–or reminders of God’s infinite grace and mercy–will renew you like cool, clear water after a long, dry walk on a dusty, pitted, uphill road.

“I’ve been a believing Christian since childhood,” author C. David Baker explains, “but it’s my personal failures that have led me to the deep well of Grace.”

David poured his dashed hopes, broken dreams, haunting doubts, and paralyzing fear down that well and found all that’s collected here, all he, like you, needs for living with peace, joy, and purpose: cool cups of relief, comfort, revival, and sustenance.

Because Water Is Life ~from amazon.com book description

He Loves Me, by Wayne Jacobsen

My friend Hannah read this one first and sent it to me. She knew I would benefit from Jacobsen’s words, too.

“So many Christians believe God’s love is fickle: when they sin, He turns away in disgust and anger. They vacillate between “He loves me” and “He loves me not” because of their behavior. That reasoning, writes Wayne Jacobsen, is as flawed as pulling petals from a daisy. Rather God’s love is sturdy, enduring, and undisturbed by people’s failings because God loves humankind not for what they do–but who they are. They are God’s beloved creation.”

Tattoos on the Heart, The Power of Boundless Compassion, by Greg Boyle

The latest book in my journey of discovery regarding God’s grace and love, this book was so gripping that I immediately sent a copy to a kindred spirit friend. It blew us both away. Why? Because this man LIVES out grace. The book he wrote is rich-full of his thoughts and stories as he works with and learns from the gangs in his neighborhood.

For twenty years, Gregory Boyle has run Homeboy Industries, a gang-intervention program located in the Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles, the gang capital of the world. In Tattoos on the Heart, he distills his experience working in the ghetto into a breathtaking series of parables inspired by faith.

Arranged by theme and filled with sparkling humor and glowing generosity, these essays offer a stirring look at how full our lives could be if we could find the joy in loving others and in being loved unconditionally. From giant, tattooed Cesar, shopping at JCPenney fresh out of prison, we learn how to feel worthy of God’s love. From ten-year-old Lula we learn the importance of being known and acknowledged. From Pedro we understand the kind of patience necessary to rescue someone from the darkness. In each chapter we benefit from Boyle’s gentle, hard-earned wisdom.
These essays about universal kinship and redemption are moving examples of the power of unconditional love and the importance of fighting despair. Gorgeous and uplifting, Tattoos on the Heart reminds us that no life is less valuable than another.

***

As I write about these books, I am struck by how they all came into my life at just the time I was ready to read them. That’s God for you! I hope that they are a blessing to you, as well.

Happy Grace-Full Reading!

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty. Zeph. 3:17

home routine and nature sightings

Posted on April 29, 2016 by Shanda

“I enjoy doing housework, ironing, washing, cooking, dishwashing. Whenever I get one of those questionaires and they ask what is your profession, I always put down housewife. It’s an admirable profession, why apologize for it. You aren’t stupid because you’re a housewife. When you’re stirring the jam you can read Shakespeare.” Tasha Tudor

Living is always at a quicker pace when you’re raising children but lately I’ve been able to enjoy a calmer morning routine. As soon as I get up, I wander to the coffee maker. The teens are getting ready for school and we talk a little before they leave. Rich has already left for work, and he typically kisses me while I am still asleep (this morning it was tenderly on my hand). We have a nice connection to start the day.

I look out the door to see what morning birds have come to the feeder, which I keep full of sunflower seeds. This morning I saw something interesting but soon realized is was a banana peel that someone threw up into the bushes. It had landed and sat on a branch very much looking like an exotic bird.

I make a cup of coffee and drink it throughout the morning and I realized that I like coffee of all temperatures.

I wake up the three younger kids at around 6:50. I stopped picking out small Sarah’s outfit because after I leave her room she goes ahead and chooses something entirely different.

This morning Seth was sent to school with a puffy eye. He had a bad allergic reaction to the dust at the little league field last night. He looks pretty terrible….and he loves it. It does itch, though. I wrote a quick note to the teacher so she wouldn’t send Seth to the nurse. Seth played very well last night in his game and received the game ball. I didn’t go. It was around 53 degrees and Rich took them by himself.

After the kids have left for the day, I usually blog, or run on the treadmill. We have an “exercise room” in the basement with a treadmill and a TV. If the TV wasn’t down there I wouldn’t darken the door of the exercise room. So this TV that I watch while doing my half hour run is how I have now become a watcher of Investigation Discovery Television…..true crime is quite fascinating. It’s my TV station of choice unless the little kids are at home, of course.

I usually tidy up the house in the mornings….and it’s been a great feeling to have time to clean and have it STAY clean while the kids are at school.

It’s amazing how much a person can get done as they work at a steady but NOT FRANTIC pace…..for so many years I have rushed from one thing to another….but now I have time to settle down do things little by little…and still see a result and have time to read, blog, go for walks, and watch crime tv. LOL

Once or twice a week I go shopping for food, and of course once in a while I might have to take someone to a doctors appointment (this week it was Ethan).

After a morning of errands, cleaning and/or the treadmill, I have a quiet lunch, and then go outside for a while. After I come back inside I might read a book and take a catnap to prepare for our very busy afternoons and evenings…..David gets home first at 2:30, then Seth, Sarah, and Caleb an hour later. Then it’s homework, snacks, dinner preparations, little league, picking up Grace and Ethan from drama rehearsal, and so on……

After the kids go to bed Rich and I generally watch TV in the dark living room while dozing.

Then…..bedtime. love and zzzzzzzzzz

I took these pictures with my phone at Target last week when I freaked out noticing how much taller Dave was then his older sister.

A couple pages from my Nature Journal. Nice, right? Don’t worry, I found these things A.D. (already dead)…….

Before and After dinner for 7 (the other 2 were staying after school and they finished everything up later on that evening). My family loves dorito chip salad.

Rich’s new car!!!! We are going to have so much fun with it.

I’ve had more time this spring to be an even better chicken-keeper! I love visiting my hens throughout the day. I let them out in the mornings along with giving them a nice treat of dried mealworms. Now that I know a fox is around I DO NOT let them out if I’m going to be gone. There are two big waterers in their coop and a large feeder, so if they are stuck inside they still have plenty to eat and drink. There is a nesting box for egg laying purposes.

A cat or two or three usually follows me to the coop. Gentleman Gray was purring like a steady determined motor as I held him. I love pressing my ear to a purring cat!

This is my Father’s world,
and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father’s world:
I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.

These rest of the photos were all taken with my Nikon camera. I loved catching these two Tufted Titmice together in the bushes next to the feeder.

This House Finch had such a lovely song that it made me stop and peer into the sunny bushes until I saw it…….by the way, I have a bird identification app on my phone that really does help! It’s called the “Merlin Bird ID” and you put your location into the app, tap the size of the bird, the colors, and where you saw it, and it gives you a list with photos and more info on each bird it could be.

Way up in a pine tree, perfectly safe, was a red squirrel making such mean noises at me!!! It scolded and shook its tail and made such a fuss that I stood much longer than I typically would, to watch it. I fell in love with it, truthfully. I get so sad sometimes because all the wild creatures are scared of me and all I want to do is pet them and take many photos of them.

Come to think of it, I would be scared of me, too.

Ferns, ferns, beautiful baby ferns starting to unfurl.

Oh it’s so lovely in the woods in dappled sunshine.

Isn’t this pretty? I focused the camera on our stream in the background, making the wire fence in the foreground blur.

One of my goals this spring and summer is to study the types of trees we have in our woods so I can call them by name……(see quote at end of post)

Again, sadness….because I never SAW the loud woodpecker I heard hammering up in the trees close by. It became scared of me and stopped its work. I sat by the stream for a while, binoculars around my neck and camera in my hands.

Clear across the stream I saw a busy Robin with its beak FULL of soft looking dried grass.

A marsh marigold was getting ready to bloom. My books says this, “One of our loveliest wild flowers is the bright yellow Marsh Marigold, which grows in wet places in the Northeast and Midwest and is known also as Cowslip. A key characteristic is its thick, hollow stalk, up to two feet tall, which carries shiny green and heart-shaped leaves. The many flowers are about one inch across and have five sepals. The pistils are in a whorl and produce many seeds because insects have to climb all around to get at the several nectar glands. It is well worth having in your wild garden. You could cook the leaves for greens–if you must.” Alfred Stefferud, in How to Know the Wildflowers

There is another photo here of it in bloom.

Back at the chicken coop.

I am still trying to positively identify these birds, they are making a nest under the eaves of the chicken coop.

This fish was swimming around guarding a circular nest in the pond.

“When I’m working in the barn or house I often think of all the errors I’ve made in my life. But then I quickly put that behind me and think of water lilies. They will always eradicate unpleasant thoughts. Or goslings are equally comforting in their own way.” ~Tasha Tudor

I transplanted these wild violets from our yard into a flower garden last spring and they came back so healthy and pretty.

I peered around our brick chimney to sneak a picture of a Blue Jay at the feeder.

Arrow Leaved Violet

I love these wild flowers because although violets grow in abundance all over our property, this species is not as plenteous. Deep dark purple blossoms, harry stems, and different shaped leaves make them unique. I took this photo by the rock wall near our mailbox.

The top book was written by Alfred Stefferud in 1950. He was a great Dad, who took along his young daughter as they intently studied the native flowers that grew near them. Here one of the first pages from the book:

We Start An Adventure

This book began on Sunday afternoon when my young daughter Christine and I were hiking on Short Hill just behind our house
It was a springtime rediscovery of things we had missed in winter–the rabbits busy in the bushes, squirrels talking in the trees, Dogwoods trying out their first leaves.
In a damp spot near a runnel we delightedly sniffed the rare smell of Skunk-Cabbage. Farther on we spied Bloodroots, their flowers still clasped in cylinders of leaves. We greeted drifts of Trilliums and Violets as old friends.
But now and then we came across a plant we did not know. One intrigued us because it grew in a clump of ferns, where we thought it should not be. One had leaves like an Oak, only larger. Another was definitely a Violet–but which one? We were disturbed, because this close to home we had found strangers.
I went on looking at trees, which were my particular interest. Christine resumed collecting moss and stones, which were hers. She was humming a verse we had sung that morning in Sunday School, “All nature sings and round me rings, the music of the spheres.”
She stopped: “Wouldn’t it be fun to know the plants that grow in our own backyard and everything about them?”
“Everything:?” I repeated. “Why, everything even here would take a thousand lifetimes with ecology, taxonomy, paleobotany—”
“Now, Dad,” she scoffed. “You’re trying to show off. I don’t know a word you’re saying. I don’t care about that. I’d just like to know the names of flower and who they are.”
“Who?”
“Yes, the same as people. Where they live. What they are. Their families. What they are good for–”
“And why there are so many? Why some are red and others white? But couldn’t you enjoy the flowers as much just seeing them here? What difference if you call a Trillium a Trillium or Wake Robin or any name you make up, like ‘White Lady’?”
“Well, maybe.” She thought a moment. “But I would’t feel then that I really did know them.”
“Hm. Very interesting,” I said. Always a teacher because once a teacher, I continued: “I feel the same. What say we find out a detail or two about every group of wild flowers–enough so we can tell them apart and they become personalities to us?”
Chris liked the idea, and we started at once. In the months that followed we derived great enjoyment from collecting names and facts in our heads and notebooks. We did not collect the flowers themselves; we preferred to let them live. When (often enough) we encountered something we did not know, we consulted a field guide or reference book–which we found to be most enjoyable and useful but sometimes too complex and cryptic in wording…….
Chris and I discovered, as we went along, that our adventure with wild flowers was giving us a deeper appreciation for everyday things….
We added to our store of knowledge, which I think is always a good thing, no matter what the knowledge. We unlocked a treasury of words. We got new insight into the orderliness of nature and of men who work with nature. Our wonder grew at the devices of plants for continuing their species. We had a glimpse of several sciences that closely touch our lives.
We came to feel ourselves part of a vital conservation movement, so important that I call it patriotism-in-action. Most of all we had fun and relaxation, Christine from her 6th grade books and I from other books that easily can be substitutes for living and finding out one’s self. All this from a simple subject, a pleasant adventure just outside our door!

thoughts

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Shanda

It’s Tuesday morning. I’m still in my pajamas. The lights are on, the dishwasher and washing machine are running. Six children are off to school, one is getting ready for college. My husband is at work.

I’ve been thinking about Target and the reactions of all different sorts of people in regards to the bathrooms. I go from laughing because after having seven children, the bladder I have cares not which bathroom it uses, to sadness when I see people use religion to get all self-righteous about this issue, to tenderness as I read common sense and gracious words from all sorts of people, as well. Grace upon grace flows down, flows down, from the precious blood of Christ.

*******

Reading up on the story made me think about religion in general…….and namely, Pharisees.

Did you know Jesus had the harshest words toward the religious people of his day (the Pharisees) He loved real people, he loved sincere, he loved the common, humble men and women who knew who they were—nothing and nobody–and needy. People who knew they were hungry and thirsty –for HIM. To them, He freely gave.

To the religious hypocrites of his day he had words like these:

“vipers”
“white washed tombs”
“clean on the outside, filthy on the inside”
“woe to you!”
Is there hope for a Pharisee? Oh yes and yes. Amazingly enough, Paul became first and foremost a lover of Christ (not rules and regulations) when the Light of the world blinded him for a time, on the road to Damascus….

However, as a very ordinary and quite common woman of this modern day, I am TERRIFIED of certain religious people who believe they are doing good but are actually spreading fear, misunderstanding, and chaos throughout the world.

And by religious I mean this: a HYPOCRITICAL person who is fixated on rules and regulations regarding the outward man rather than the inward man. Fixated to the point that they take it upon themselves to “teach” others and tell them just how to live and then look down on people if they don’t take their advice. Or, a person who pretends to be godly, pretends to act for God, pretends to be a Christian, when what they are really doing is setting themselves on a pedestal and using it for prideful gain/power.

I love religion in its true form, which the Bible says is this: …If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

UH OH there is that pesky little phrase “keep oneself unstained by the world” what could that POSSIBLY MEAN???? Live in a clean, sterile little bubble of soap? Oh I’ve seen what THAT does! Did you know that living too clean can lead to even more troubles down the road? Bigger sicknesses? Not all the time….but even so, it is an unhealthy way to live both physically AND spiritually. A fixation on “cleanliness” is QUITE a cancer to the soul.

This is how I personally keep myself unstained by the world: I do not view pornography. I do not get crazy drunk. I do not participate in illegal activities or use illegal drugs like heroin, for instance. I don’t dance around at strip clubs or plan my life according to my daily horoscope. Um….what else? I don’t spend time with friends planning a perfect murder or even committing adultery with the mailman. I do not steal things or lie pathologically. I mind my own business.

See? Easy. That’s how you keep yourself unstained by the world. You can still watch movies, you can still visit a theater even! You can take prescription drugs as long as you don’t abuse them, and guess what ladies, you can wear pants! And shorts! And a bathing suit! You can hug a man! You can read Harry Potter! You can enjoy an alcoholic drink! You can shop at Target!!!!! Don’t try to put rules on yourself that God never intended.

(Yes I am very passionate about this topic–you might not be, and that’s okay)

However, if indeed you do want to put extra cautious standards in place in your life go right ahead but don’t talk about them up and down the street (internet?) like they are rules and standards from God Himself. Maybe just don’t even talk about any of the “good things” you do.

“So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. “But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:30

Oh Gosh, I hope I am making sense. I mean, some people will read this and be like “??” but if that is the case than praise God you didn’t go through a time of legalism like I did in my mid 20’s. If you are involved in a nurturing church family full of nice messy people than get down on your knees and thank the Lord, my friend!!!! But if you’re in the midst of a church that has perfect leaders watching every move you make and using the pulpit as a “whipping post” in order to keep you “clean” than run far far away……..

I have so much inside of me that I do not discuss because I hate the feeling I get when I’m stirred up and worked up. But I want people to know my beliefs. And know that I am a sinner, saved by grace. I have ordinary pride issues, bitterness issues, selfishness issues, and so on…but I don’t even care at this point…no one is perfect and I don’t obsess, trying to be. I only want to be secure in Jesus and I am already that. I’m on my way HOME, to the only place of perfect belongingness, glory-land itself. And He will welcome me and all of His precious children, with open arms, all the messy unperfect little sinners, saved by grace, that we are. He loves us, loves us, loves us……

I happen to have a blog but that does not make me ANYTHING special whatsoever. I am no authority on any subject. I have no constant advice to give or devotionals to write. I only have my own personal experience and the Bible to share. I like music, poetry, photos, and quotes.

But I am no one special.

I was put on this earth to serve a certain number of people. And if you are in my life, I am here for YOU. To love and encourage. To be real and messy. My children know all too well that their Mom is not perfect and guess what? I still get lots and lots of snuggles and so do they even when they are being annoying.

I really don’t know why I blog. It’s some sort of pull inside of me that makes me do it. I hate being “out there”, it makes me afraid to share the deep things of my heart. And yet, I still do it…..why…..why, God?

Last night I was watching Longmire with Rich and someone asked Walt, “Are you a religious person, Walt?” and he answered, “I’m a private person”.

I liked that. That’s what I am, too. But once in a while I will let it alllll out.

I really really loved the Harry Potter books. Did you know that there are some religious people who will not read them or let their children read them? The church I used to attend was against them. And at the time they were published I didn’t care much regardless because I frankly had no time to read……any time I did have time to read I was careful to read things that would be approved by my church leaders. LOL (barf) I was such a goody goody. NO MORE. I will read what I want to read! And who really cares????

Anyway, here is a quote I wrote down from the last book, yesterday, which just made me stop in awe of the spiritual lesson contained within:

“Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. He had made his choice while he dug Dobby’s grave, he had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for him by Albus Dumbledore, to accept that he had not been told everything he wanted to know, but simply to trust. He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose.”

(She had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for her by God, to accept that she had not been told everything she wanted to know, but simply to trust.)

Simply to trust.

WHY did Ethan hurt his knee just when he had to visit a college, invited by a wrestling coach that wants him on the team????
WHY do I suffer depression at times?
WHY does Sarah have to have a naughty kidney?
WHY this, why that?

I don’t know, but I trust….and I trust a God that HAS A PURPOSE that I may never know.

Satan, the dark side, wants to whisper doubts and make us falter…..and has many cunning ways of doing so…..however, in Christ we are more than conquerors. Love wins every time. Faltering isn’t so bad now and then. Doubts are forgivable, too. (He didn’t turn his back on Thomas, he gently took his hand and placed it in his side, dear blessed Thomas, loved so dearly by Him) Weakness is wonderful (he gives strength to the weak) He loves us through it all.

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.

I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.

ALL you that thirst, come to the waters: and you that have no money make haste, buy, and eat: come ye, buy wine and milk without money, and without any price.

On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.

“MOM, take a picture of this! It looks like a castle!”

Another thing….this “older woman teaching the younger”….means all kinds of things. For me, it means that I call up my mama and talk to her. For me, it means that I am teaching my daughters by sharing life with them. I’m not out looking for a mentor. Although I do love and appreciate all the women, past and present that I have learned from, there is NO lack in anyone’s life in this regard of older women teaching the younger. There needs to be no formalities here, there just needs to be living, and growing, in natural relationships. Don’t feel as if you need to pass your daughters off to someone else to teach and nurture. YOU are already doing it!!! And God will put people in their lives, naturally, to learn from. (friends, grandmas, aunts, etc)

I’m constantly giving out life advice to my children. It’s great fun. And they are constantly giving it to me as well.

Can you even believe this? ^^

Someone sits here and eats acorns. So sweet!

Spending time with this one is a J O Y. Oh how I love her.

dropped her flip flop and it started going down the stream, sooooo funny……

acorn – art

Does a hollow tree take us to Heaven? Unfortunately not.

Interesting moss

adorable boys…catching toads

Susie Q Bunyan

just sharing my heart today……

turtles, flowers, dogs, & birds

Posted on April 21, 2016 by Shanda

I’m skipping right over Tuesday and blogging about yesterday because Tuesday’s pictures are on my phone and I don’t feel like retrieving them at the moment…..

We spent the entire day at home as I was feeling kind of crappy (allergies? not sure…but I was tired and fuzzy headed).

The kids basically did whatever they wanted to do, within reason of course.

Just another carefree day, the kind we love best.

I went over to take care of my poor chickens. And on the way back from the coop I found a teeny tiny turtle in the grass by the pond!!!!! I put it in the front pocket of my sweatshirt and darned if it didn’t run right back out onto the ground. Baby turtles are FAST.

It was so cute. I took it in the house to show the children. Sarah didn’t want to touch it but I “made” her. (encouraged) She was shaking and giggling nervously. But once she had it “This is my first time touching a turtle!” She didn’t want to let it go. She wanted it for a pet.

The two of us sat by the edge of the pond and watched it enter the water for the very first time. Then we walked around trying to find more turtles, but we didn’t. Maybe we will on another spring day.

There was a line at the nesting box. This photo is of the front of one hen and the back of another. I say “poor” chickens because, as I have mentioned in past posts, there is a fox after them. So they have to stay locked up for now. Mr. Fox has only killed one hen and that was heartbreaking enough. This morning I plan on driving to Agway to purchase a supply of tempting feed and treats for my poor hens, to make their stay in the coop more tolerable.

I do let them out in their fenced in area if I am able to be at home to continually check on them.

Ethan spent the day with his girlfriend, Tessa. She brought her dog to our house, so Parker the Dog had a lovely time yesterday with his bestie, Benji. They got wet, they got muddy, they played their favorite dog games.

Benji received an egg from my pocket, just like Parker, but he was clueless. See the invisible question mark above his head? Parker was already lapping out raw egg from HIS shell which he broke himself with his teeth. Benji’s egg is by his left paw, right where he dropped it.

So Caleb took Benji’s egg to the pathway and broke it for him……yum. Nothing like a raw egg still warm from the chicken (so they say).

Later on, my husband got home and took the boys to Little League practice. (Grace made chili for dinner). I sat on the porch with my book but didn’t read it because my friend Sarah Joy had lots and lots to talk about. I had my camera with me and shot two bird pictures from my chair on the porch as I listened to her chit-chat. Not too bad for spur-of-the-moment photography, with the birds about a mile away (slight exaggeration).

A Flicker sat on the very tippy top of the dead tree in front of the house. I read that they eat on the ground—they eat mainly ants and beetles, using their beak to dig them up. They are such a beautiful bird, one of my favorites. They have polka dots, a nice black “necklace” and a patch of red on the back of their necks.

And then Sarah and I saw a duck.

We went inside after this and she read me 30 pages of a 1904 school Primer (early reader). She snuggled up into my side and I smelled her hair and listened as she read in a sweet voice, laughing together at the funny parts. (we totally get 1904 humor).