breathing space

Posted on January 26, 2015 by Shanda

(with a thankful heart)

What can we do but keep on breathing in and out, modest and willing, and in our places? Mary Oliver

snow (it’s the little things)

Posted on December 11, 2014 by Shanda

With an old scarf around my head keeping the hair off my face, and a wooden spoon in my hand, I opened the door to let out a cat. Sarah and I were in the kitchen making Christmas cookies.

I had determined to have a quieter day. We had a pleasant snow fall in the night but not enough to keep the children home from school. Ethan had a dentist appointment at 8:50 so Sarah and I left to pick him up…..while the snow continued to gently fall.

The many tracks in the driveway, made by the family I love, made me smile. So much activity belonging to the special boys and girls in my life. My husband’s truck tracks meant that he was already at work, making an early start so that he could get back to coach wrestling later at the High School.

At the end of our road, I stopped to take a picture of the farmer’s cows in the snowy field.

In town, Sarah and I both admired the ivy growing up brick buildings. She asked me if we could grow them on our house.

Ethan didn’t have a coat on and shivered as we made our way to the car. “Why on earth didn’t you wear a coat?” I asked. “Because! I don’t have any classes outside, Mom!” (obviously!)

Ethan is the one child that I nag the most about brushing his teeth. It’s become sort of a family joke although Ethan himself may not think it is funny anymore.

He had zero cavities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is in wrestling now at school and had to get his official weight taken today. I couldn’t even tempt him to a small hot chocolate after his cleaning. I took him back to school.

By that time it was only 9:30 so Sarah and I went to the Thrift shop and spent two dollars on some rubber stamps for the children to play with, a few books, & an ornament.

We walked hand in hand to the car, over the railroad tracks. When we got there, I noticed that the snowflakes were falling from the sky as pretty as a picture on top of Sarah’s pigtailed head.

In the parking lot by the town offices I stood with my camera, taking careful close ups of Sarah’s head and my own arm! I had to laugh when I realized what I was doing in public…..but the magic of it all…..

God is so good to me! I didn’t want to leave my cozy house this morning and when I remembered Ethan’s appointment I had groaned. But, in the midst of running these common errands of motherhood I was given yet another opportunity to see the simple beauty of a day I would have missed if I stayed inside.

It is the life of the crystal,
the architect of the flake,
the fire of the frost,
the soul of the sunbeam.
This crisp winter air is full of it.
~John Burroughs

How many lessons of faith and beauty we should lose,

if there were no winter in our year! ~Thomas Wentworth Higginson

*****

We drove home and my mind was on the snowflakes and William Bentley.

If you’ve never taken a picture of an individual snowflake I encourage you to try it!

I meandered around the yard and our cat Sherlock tried following me across the ice on the pond and fell right in the water. It was rather shocking for us both. He swam back out quickly, which was a good thing because I was on the other side of the pond.

This is Billy-Cat.

Two fresh eggs were waiting for me in the chicken coop.

Sherlock was very busy on the porch, trying to clean the water off his fur.

Sarah was already inside and we fried up the eggs and shared them for a snack.

And then we read the books we had found at the Thrift store.

Under a soft, warm, electric blanket, we learned that “Q is for quiet times”……

And were inspired to be as kind as the shoemaker and his wife.

Best of all, we decided to make Christmas cookies, after a cozy nap.

While the oven was still hot, I mixed up a banana bread. I read on allrecipes.com that if you wrap up your *hot from the oven* quick bread in foil, it will steam itself cool and become nice and moist.

This entire morning *after the children left for school* has been a “no TV” day and the quietness of the house has been wonderful.

There is something about snow falling down outside to make a day seem so peaceful.

attitude of gratitude

Posted on November 26, 2014 by Shanda

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. ~Roald Dahl

Oh Roald Dahl, you are such an interesting person. I love how you take truth and get it down our throats with a spoonful of good humor.

Here are a few little happenings that I am thankful for:

1. A morning of sunshine

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I’d like to express my thanks –
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.
~Irving Berlin

2. We went to the day spa, Sarah and I.

She was so fascinated by the yellow goo being squirted in my hair that I had to get out the phone and take a picture. She loves watching me get my hair done.

Rich told me to relax at the spa and I said, “Yes, but, how can I relax if I have Sarah with me?” “Oh Shan, she’s adorable! You let her get her nails done. See if they can get her in.”

I did ask, but the ladies were all booked up so I asked Amy (my hairdresser) to take Sarah in the other room to pick out some nail polish. While my hair processed I myself gave Sarah her manicure, including base coat and top coat.

3. Seth had a program at school so I buttoned him up in a handsome dress shirt (over a t-shirt). I fussed quite a bit with the hair, too. (you can sort of tell by the picture that he was ready to be let go again, right?)

Later, when Sarah and I arrived to school for the assembly, in walked Seth with the dress shirt OFF and looking all ordinary.

4. Breakfast at the diner.

5. My two oldest boys; Jacob (in back) and Ethan.

6. Michael and Seth (Sunday)

7. Reading books to silly Sarah.

8. The ice melted on Monday. I sent Seth out on the porch to feel the air, “There IS no air!” was his observation. It was a windless, warmish day. When they came home from school we went outside. Before I could stop them, Dave and Seth had their shoes and socks off in the stream. It really wasn’t warm enough for it, and their little feet turned pink.

9. Dave caught a crayfish which was a joy because every other sign of life in the waters was missing (frogs, turtles, fish).

How many of my friends are in the kitchen this week in preparations for Thanksgiving Day? I’m in the kitchen as I type. My body is sitting on the couch in the living room, but my mind is over there in the kitchen thinking about what I need to do next!

10. Yesterday I made my roll dough using my Grandma’s recipe. After the first rise, I formed the rolls.

I placed them in their pans, wrapped them up, and put them in the freezer. Tomorrow I will take them out, let them rise the second time, and bake them.

11. Yesterday we also did our big grocery trip for everything we needed on this list:

I would rather stay in the kitchen cooking all day than go to the store! So I was very happy to get it done.

12. We had a mini-thanksgivng feast yesterday. Jacob and Ethan had to miss their football thanksgiving dinner because their game was moved up a day. They were disappointed about it so I decided to surprise them. When they got home from school at 2:30 everything was ready. I roasted a butterball turkey breast, made (frozen) mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, corn, and cranberry sauce. I saved out some of my roll dough in order to make a couple little loaves of bread, too.

Not only did my children come home (Dave, Jacob, Grace, and Ethan) but also two extras. I loved watching them fill up their plates and go sit down in the dining room together.

13. Last night was Senior night at the football game. It was cold, but we had a lot of fun watching Jacob play his last game.

This is one of those pictures that I look at and see him as my own little baby, behind those eyes and that face, he’s still there.

14. sisters

I hope you have a lovely day today!

There is snow falling outside and it will be a cozy day to make pies.

how I go to the woods, by Mary Oliver

Posted on November 8, 2014 by Shanda

Ordinarily I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend,
for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable.

I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds
or hugging the old black oak tree.
I have my way of praying, as you no doubt have yours.

Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible.
I can sit on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds,
until the foxes run by unconcerned.

I can hear the almost unbearable sound of the roses singing.

If you have ever gone to the woods with me,
I must love you very much.

ramble

Image

“The day was beautiful and the way was beautiful.”
Anne of the Island, L.M. Montgomery

***

Late this morning I took little Sarah on a short walk through the woods and into the field, wandering about, going exactly where we wanted to go. Underneath our feet were brown pine needles and crispy leaves. The sun was shining. Everything was bright, fresh, and lovely. We ate a few wintergreen berries and Sarah talked about nothing and everything while I dutifully listened and took snapshots.

These three mushrooms were growing up from behind tree bark; bark which was hanging off an old fallen down log.

Thanks to Aunt Colleen’s inspiration, I am taking up crochet again. I recently made Jacob a pillow and am almost done with a red and black striped one for David. As I admired this tree lichen I dreamed of finding yarn in the same creamy mint color and crocheting a doily.

I asked Sarah if I could put her in a tree and she generously agreed.

We had found a turkey feather.

She ran ahead of me into the field and saw a man walking his dog. I had to laugh as I wondered what he must have thought to see a tiny girl emerging from the forest, talking and laughing. He told us that he walked there all the time and his dog, Bruno, used to be a bird dog. Bruno caught 101 birds but is now retired because he’s old and his hips are bad. Regardless, Bruno was having a great time wobbling around on his loose hips while his owner drank coffee from a plastic mug in one hand and carried a walking stick in the other.

I tucked purple wild flowers and rose hips into Sarah’s ponytails.

She was so pleased with her turkey feather. In fact, as soon as her Dad came home from work she showed it to him. He said it was the nicest he’s ever seen.

While Sarah climbed a boulder, I admired a wavy, curly tree fungus. There were different sizes growing and I pulled a small one off. It was rubbery and strong, I could not tear it in half no matter how hard I tried.

We made our way back home by going down the trail a little ways and then through the woods to cross our stream onto our own property. On our way across, we saw a dear dear friend. I took pictures of Sarah’s face as she cooed motherly greetings at him……..

It was Billy-cat, coming to say hello to us.

After our walk I made Sarah eat ALL of her cheese sandwich including the crust, and then I gave her a chocolate pudding cup for dessert. She had a nice nap, and so did I.

****

We breathe below, but we live above; we walk on earth, but our conversation is in heaven. John Flavel

you are loved

mothering little ones

Posted on October 6, 2014 by Shanda

I find myself contemplating the end of my *mothering preschoolers* stage of life. Since the age of 21 I have been caring for my own darling tiny children, truly, the work of raising them up has been the joy and purpose of my life, so far. I know that mothering never ends as long as I have children to love, but there is something so sweet and tender about the preschool years.

I’ve loved all seven of them with a love that surprised me. When I wrapped my arms around them and held them close, breathed them in, it did something to me that I will always remember. Does God give children to us because they need us or because we need them? Oh how much I have learned in being a mama.

Now that the older six are in school, it is just Sarah and me at home during the day.

(I’ve given her a bath this morning. Her hair is pulled back in a pony tail now, and she has a sparkly elastic headband around her hair. It has five stars on it. She’s sitting on the couch looking at one of her brother’s Star Wars books. We’re listening to Elizabeth Mitchell music. “You are my flower, you’re blooming there for me.”

She just put the book aside. “There’s no girl in this book.” she complained.)

We went for a walk on Friday and she was crying at the end of it because she was tired, but we enjoyed it anyway and talked about it together all weekend. Three of our four cats came with us and I realized that next year at this time, when Sarah Joy is in Kindergarten, I’ll probably be filling up this blog with pictures of my cats.

As Sarah and I walked, the cats ran past us and one time Sarah almost got knocked over by Billy. If we stopped, they stopped, or climbed a tree. They chased each other and did unexpected things. Walking with Sarah and three cats felt a little bit like 5 years ago, walking through the woods with five little ones and a baby in my arms. (when I was still homeschooling)

We saw some mushrooms. It had rained the day before so they were damp. This one was so very shiny that we bent to touch it’s top and discovered it was very slimy. When we lifted our finger off it a string of thick goo came up, too.

My friend Bobby Jo asked me recently if I had ever seen a “fairy ring” of mushrooms and we came close on this walk. I suppose you could call this a “fairy half-ring”.

And then we saw several of these on the trail under the oak trees in the forest.

Puff ball in Aspic or, “calostroma cinnabarinum”

SO interesting!!

It was the first time I observed them at this stage, just ready to PUFF for us.

Sarah had such fun pinching each one over and over until all the puff was gone, the round orange tops were dry and felt similar to thin rubber.

I carried acorns and other little forest things home in the pocket of my shirt (now surrounding a pillar candle). Sarah worried about losing the cats and eventually gave way to tears. Thankfully she got tired within sight of the house and with some encouragement and we all made it home for a nice nap.

“Oh Lord, thank you for the life you have given me. Help me in the sadness I feel in the ending of these busy years of mothering tiny children. Help me to feel contentment and gratitude that it happened, and not grieve too much, that it’s almost over. Help me to remember that these years have not been easy and there is much to be glad about in moving on to the next stage, such as never having to buy diapers again, (which is all I can think of at the moment). Thank you that in mothering the helpless I have learned so much about YOU, because that is what you do for me. In my weakness you make me strong. When I am hungry you feed me. When I am thirsty you give me drink. When I am sad you comfort me. You are my rock and my salvation, I honor and praise you, Jesus. Amen”

“Children are not angels, and yet they bring from heaven to earth many fragments of loveliness. Their influence in a home is a benediction. They soften hearts and change the whole thought of life in their parents. It is no more of self. They begin to live for their children. The children open love’s chambers. They train their parents in patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness. While a young child is in a home a school of heaven is set up there.” J.R. Miller

pink cat

Posted on September 30, 2014 by Shanda

these days

Posted on September 24, 2014 by Shanda

Yesterday morning I walked out of the house into a sparkling fall day. In my hands was a little vintage fiesta plate of leftover banana bread and cereal milk from breakfast, to serve the hens. They seemed to enjoy the treat.

They explored the grass along the fence. There are five full grown hens and two half-grown ones.

We do not let the little ones stay outside for very long because the cats come over to try and hunt them. The poor things.

I gave them a bowl of chick food in a yellow fiesta bowl. The way they hop in and out of the bowl, peeping and scratching food everywhere, is amusing.

The leaves were turning.

The fall flowers were in bloom.

My heart was singing.

You are the joy in my morning
You’re my song of praise
Just like the new day dawning
Flooding my world with grace.

Isn’t this green and pink combination BEAUTIFUL?

Caleb was home sick from school yesterday. He had an upset stomach and a high fever. He was on the couch curled up in his soft blanket and as much as I was able, I was sitting by him. The children are so needy and love to have me near when they are sick. As much as I hate to see them suffer, and as long as I know it’s only a common children’s illness, I confess– I love the cuddle time.

Caleb likes to talk. It was an eye-opener to me when he said, “You know why I bury my head in the couch to sleep? Because I don’t want my picture taken.” My heart was so sad to think that I unknowingly made my poor boy uncomfortable with photography, it’s just that I think he’s so cute. He doesn’t like the feeling that I’m taking pictures when he’s sleeping. I told him I would never take another picture of him unless I knew it was okay and I asked him first. He told me that one day he was falling asleep on the bus and a couple of girls took a video of him. It bothered him. I told him some things he could do about it, such as telling them that their Dad doesn’t want videos taken of him, or going to the principal or the bus driver for help, or asking them to delete the video.

We seem to be living in a time when privacy isn’t understood or desired. I know that I personally love to share on my blog, but there is a part of me that almost envies that time not so long ago when families were in their homes and their lives were virtually unknown to the rest of the world. They had their own private and intimate lives within the walls of their “nest”, special and meaningful only to them.

It is something to think about.

(I asked Grace about this, too, and she said she was absolutely fine with me taking pictures of her whenever I wanted.)

I asked Caleb if I could take this picture and he agreed.

Rich and I purchased a coffee table and a loveseat this weekend. We needed more places for people to sit when they come and visit us and we were thankful to find things that we didn’t have to order and wait for. Ethan Allen was having a floor sample sale on a lot of their furniture. Both pieces have small problems but in our family we would rather buy things on super-clearance-sale WITH a problem, then to pay full price for a perfect piece that will get scratched the next day.

The maroon throw at the end of the love-seat is the latest loved comfort with everyone….it’s our very first electric blanket….and the children are all so very appreciative. Ethan had it last night after football practice when he was shivering cold. Seth fell asleep under it when he was sick last week. Sarah had it this morning when the house was chilly. Seth accidentally called it the “electra blanket” and the name has stuck. We love our “electra blanket”.

I have been having fun freshening up the house (after an inspiring visit to my friend Lydia’s house). I had Rich and the boys move the piano from the living room to the new addition and so far we all really like it in there. You can’t tell by the photo, but there is still a good amount of room between the table and chairs and the piano, so we don’t feel squeezed.

I bought our first full length tablecloth, long enough for our big table. It’s a linen fabric with golden leaves stamped on it. We have 8 chairs around the table, and one bench that seats 2.

I also bought the mirror on the right side of the picture. It’s reflection brings in even more of the sunshine.

I’ve been longing to use more of the rhubarb from my garden that Mr. G so thoughtfully gave me to plant before he moved last fall. I found a great recipe for a pie. I used a store-bought crust, and baked it yesterday afternoon. Everyone liked it.

Rhubarb Pie

5 cups sliced rhubarb
6 rounded Tablespoons flour (an odd measurement…it’s basically 1/2 a cup)
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt

Let rhubarb mixture stand at room temperature for 20-25 minutes, then stir and add to a pastry lined pie plate. Sprinkle on top of the filling 2 Tablespoons melted butter, 1 Tablespoon flour, and 1/4 cup brown sugar. Place the top crust over and pinch the edges to seal. Poke top of pie with a fork and bake in a 400 degree oven 45-50 minutes (or until done).

Recipe adapted from one of my favorite cookbooks, A Return to Sunday Dinner, by Russell Cronkhite.

I love candlelight, and these days, my favorite is a chocolate layer cake candle from Yankee Candle. The children, especially Ethan, hate it because it smells so realistic that they are disappointed when there aren’t brownies or chocolate cakes in the kitchen (only rhubarb pie). The candle holder makes me laugh, it’s also from Yankee Candle, and it’s a spoof on Snow White and the seven dwarfs. I told the children it’s me and the seven of them. “But where’s Dad?” they asked. “He’s at work!” I reply.

After Seth got home from Kindergarten we went outside to play. Sarah cut a chunk of her hair off a few months ago so it doesn’t fit into a ponytail unless I use about five bobby pins. Still cute.

“Mom, bring your camera! David has a snake!”

The stream is low so there are plenty of rocks to step on, which makes it easy to walk up and down the stream, exploring. I got my head too close to the branch of a pine tree and it took my headband off and flung it someplace….it was black and I never did find it.

We found crayfish.

I watched this one for a little while. It was busy, I saw it pick up an acorn-cap in it’s little legs. It shuffled around, keeping an eye on me (the big monster?)

The boys like to eat them but yesterday I wouldn’t let allow it …. I became friends with this one.

I took this picture last night because Sammie and Sherlock were sleeping together on the couch. Would you believe they are from the same litter? Sherlock is so much bigger than his sister!

“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has the eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” Augustine

my hen’s near death experience

Posted on September 11, 2014 by Shanda

Can you see the turkey???

Yesterday afternoon I felt that I must get out of the house and outdoors. I “made” David, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah come with me. David was the most unwilling, for some reason walks make him impatient, perhaps because we don’t just walk, we stop constantly to look at things. “Walk” is probably not the best word to describe our walks.

At the top of the dam trail I found a turkey feather. When we got up to the field the turkeys were there. In great excitement, the boys and I tried herding them toward us but as I ran Sarah began to sob “I can’t run fast! I can’t run fast!” so I stopped and went back to her, she was losing her breath in her sadness and crying so I sat down and held her, comforting her by saying I would never leave her alone. How terrifying to watch your mother run fast AWAY FROM YOU! “What IS a turkey?” she asked. Oh, dear Sarah. She hadn’t even seen them in the distance, she didn’t know what a turkey was, perhaps it was monster-like! No wonder she was so very upset. We sat and had a conversation about turkeys and the boys came back to join us.

At this point our “walk” had lasted all of 1o minutes and David said he was going home. “NO YOU’RE NOT” I cried. There were complaints from the children. “Wait a minute! You can sit in front of the tv, you can play video games, but you can’t sit in the grass?” “It’s too itchy!!” “JUST sit down, boys!” The whole walk-idea wasn’t working. But, as we sat I started talking to them about the praying mantis we found the last time we were up there…..”maybe we can find another one and take it home to put it in a jar”, I offered.

David actually thought that this was as good idea. We all got up and started to peer into the bushes at the edge of the forest.

We found nothing but bumble bees on the beautiful dark yellow goldenrod flowers. The boys kept going, though, and everyone started getting along again. We played by the stream for quite a while.

David studied milkweed. We are both sad because we didn’t see any monarch caterpillars this year. What’s happening to them??

We popped popper plants and sat up on the cement drain thing, which is sort of like a platform. The kids have to climb up to sit on it, the water drains through a pipe and we can look down into it. Sarah felt as if she was on a stage so she did her fighting moves.

Seth was exploring but kept coming back to mama for a quick “hello”.

Caleb was collecting beaver-chewed sticks and David tried catching a small crayfish without success. You can be sure there would be a picture of it if he got one!

Doesn’t the pile of sticks look like the work of beavers? I was watching Seth and had a little panic when I saw him shaking an arm to get something off himself. I immediately thought he had walked over an ant hill, but it was only a slug. “I hate slugs” he explained.

David begrudgingly helped his little sister down, but I could tell that he felt good about it after it was over.

The lighting at the end of the day is so pretty….Caleb had generously given each child a beaver-chewed stick to swing around on the way home.

The lighting at the end of the day is so pretty.

Billy Cat was ready to greet us as we returned, he was very interested in Sarah’s stick.

*****

When we got in the house it was time to go get the other children from school. I hadn’t given anyone dinner at this point so I loaded everyone up and we picked up J, E, G, and Emily. We took Emily home and drove to the grocery store, & everyone was loud. Grace was telling me about a hard part in her day, the little ones were bickering in the back seat (I don’t know what’s going on with them lately, I’m going to blame it on Rich being gone all week), and so on. I needed some quiet so I didn’t let anyone come in the store with me to get stuff for a taco dinner.

By the time we arrived home it was 7:00pm and I was feeling a lot of rush and pressure about getting dinner done so the younger ones could get to bed. They are so tired by the end of the day. In the midst of doing 8 things at once as I prepared dinner, GRACE CAME IN THE HOUSE to tell me I had to come to the chicken coop!! “I can’t, I’m cooking meat!!!” “DAVID CAN WATCH IT, YOU HAVE TO COME, MOM!!” She would give me NO HINTS except the reassurance that the hens were alive and well.

Would you take a look at this? On the upper left you see a bunch of feathers from one of my hens. The dead bird is a Hawk, which most certainly was in the process of KILLING THE HEN when ……….. SOMETHING KILLED IT. I am intrigued because it is a mystery how it could have died. Our dog didn’t kill it, I know, because the chicken coop is behind his electric dog fence. Was it a cat? Was it the rest of the flock (four hens?) defending their sister-hen? Oh how I would love to know the answer to this story!