of muffins and monarchs

Posted on July 13, 2016 by Shanda

“There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice.” ~J.Calvin

Sarah Joy had a check up yesterday with her surgeon. I hate to admit this but I did bribe her to be nice to the poor doctor. Ever since her first surgery, Sarah has had a very negative reaction to all the nurses and doctors. Dr. K, her main surgeon, has been so polite, kind, sweet, and loving to Sarah every step of the way and has felt Sarah’s dislike keenly, although she completely understood and did her best to reduce contact with her, keeping her conversations directed toward me and Rich instead. I bought Dr. K a necklace and had it wrapped up very prettily, with a bow. I gently explained to Sarah that she was going to bestow this lovely gift to her doctor with a smile and a hug, “OR ELSE YOU ARE GETTING NOTHING FROM THE GIFT SHOP after your appointment!!” “WHY do I have to give her a hug?” she cried. “Because it will be good for YOUR HEART to be kind!” I said, wisely, with a prayer that this would work.

Success! What a joy! She was more relaxed and talkative to the Doctor than she has ever been. She made Dr. K so happy with the necklace, but most especially with the smiles and conversation and hug.

Sarah was told that she was healing very well and could now do anything she wanted to do, as long as it was okay with her parents. We were given lollipops and then went skipping down the hall to the gift shop, where Sarah happily chose a 1.99 bracelet as a reward for her good attitude. The brothers were with us, too. Caleb chose Jolly Ranchers (making me remember an old xanga friend), and Seth chose a stuffed animal.

*****

When we got home, the only thing Sarah wanted to do with her renewed freedom was go wild-berry picking with her Mama. We walked up to the raspberry patch and picked big beautiful jewels of berries. When we came back home to put on bug spray, she saw that Seth had turned on a movie and decided to take a rest from berry picking because she wanted to watch the movie, too. (It was “Home”). I went in my room to relax and when her movie was over she came in, looked into my eyes, and said, “Are you ready for a berry-walk? Or do you still need to rest?” I looked at her and thought, “I’m not the one who just had surgery. If you don’t need any more rest, I don’t either.”

Off we went to pick BLUEBERRIES this time! The bushes in the woods are small, and low to the ground–nothing like my parent’s property covered in nice tall, fat and mature bushes. But we found “just enough” berries and the sun was at the golden hour…..making everything glow like magic. We found blueberries of all shades.

*****

This morning I woke up to my daughter right in front of my face, telling me it was time to wake up and make muffins. My mind was willing but my body felt leaden. I tossed and turned for a few minutes and then got out of the covers, not so much to make muffins, but because I was curious about how my monarch caterpillars were…….

I found Sarah waiting for me on the little couch and I kissed her face. Together we went into the kitchen to make the muffins she naturally knew we just had to use the berries in.

She sat on a stool to scoop out batter with an ice cream scoop.

She kept tasting the dough and saying “yummmmmmmm”.

I filled the regular sized muffin tin and soon they were baking in the oven and we called up the boys to have their breakfast.

*****

I ate a warm buttered muffin with a cup of coffee, perched on a stool in front of the aquarium which held a dangling caterpillar, two chrysalises, and a caterpillar.

I knew this caterpillar was very close to shedding it’s skin so I determined to wait and get it on video.

These two attached to a stick that I put in the aquarium. They were the compliant caterpillars, the other one was a rebel and escaped the whole set-up to attach to a iPhone charging cord.

When I saw what it had done, I draped the cord over the top of the tank. (I had blocked half the top with a cutting board.)

I sat for a while watching the dangling caterpillar gently convulse. I knew it was almost time and called the children over. We were able to get the whole process on video.

As I sat, I couldn’t help but think about how astonishing God’s creation is. Why did he make these detailed, intricate creatures, and millions more beside? He is The Creator–Creators MUST CREATE. Just think of the things humans make and how we get “in the zone” as we sing, or draw,or sew, or garden. That urge to create came from Father-God, we are like Him, in a very small way, because He made us in His image. It is good and we enjoy it all.

So God created humans in his image. In the image of God he created them. He created them male and female. Genesis 1:27

He brought the most mind-boggling things into existence—plants, humans, animals, all of these things reproduce and continue the cycle of life. Self-sustaining creation. A-MAZE-ING. Overwhelming. No one is like Him, but we have a touch of the divine within us, allowing us to enjoy life, and all parts of living.

No one is like you, LORD; you are great, and your name is mighty in power. Jeremiah 10:6

“If you have been afraid that your love of beautiful flowers and the flickering flame of the candle is somehow less spiritual than living in starkness and ugliness, remember that He who created you to be creative gave you the things with which to make beauty and the sensitivity to appreciate and respond to His creation.” Edith Schaeffer

thoughts about brother ass

Posted on May 26, 2016 by Shanda

We are composite creatures, akin on one side to the angels, on the other to tom-cats.

It is a bad thing not to be able to take a joke. Worse, not to be able to take a divine joke; made, I grant you, at our expense, but also (who doubts it?) for our endless benefit.

Man has held three views of his body. First there is that of those ascetic Pagans who called it the prison or the “tomb” of the soul, and of the Christians like Fisher to whom it was “a sack of dung,” food for worms, filthy, shameful, a source of nothing but temptations to bad men and humiliation to good ones. Then there are the Neo-Pagans (they seldom know Greek), the nudists and the sufferers from Dark Gods, to whom the body is glorious. But thirdly we have the view which St. Francis expressed by calling his body “Brother Ass”. All three may be–I am not sure–defensible; but give me St. Francis for my money.

Ass is exquisitely right because no one is his senses can either revere or hate a donkey. It is a useful, sturdy, lazy, obstinate, patient, lovable and infuriating beast; deserving now the stick and now a carrot; both pathetically and absurdly beautiful.

So the body.

There is no living with it till we recognize that one of its functions in our lives is to play the part of the buffoon.

The fact that we have bodies is the oldest joke there is.

CS Lewis, in The Four Loves

Isn’t it a relief to have a proper view of oneself? And to laugh at oneself? It is akin to the times when the children and I are sitting around the living room, watching TV, and little Seth says, “Wait for it, wait for it….” and before I am properly aware of what’s happening so I can stop it, out comes a giant toot from Seth’s bottom and loud laughter from his siblings. I try to pretend to be affronted, but I too am laughing and have to admit that the laughter is good.

We have inner treasure (our souls) in an outer jar of clay (our body). Our outward self is dying (our bodies), but our inward self (our soul) is being renewed day by day. We are like both angels (our soul) and tom-cats (our body).

I have spent lots of time over-valuing my body; my appearance, my health. These griefs are “common to man” and will never go away completely. But reading Lewis’ thoughts released me from some of the pressure, pressure that I put on myself as an at times, vain woman.

With Lewis’s wisdom in mind, I have a choice; I can sometimes laugh.

(St. Francis himself took a much harsher view. Although he referred to his body as Brother Ass, he treated it (his body) cruelly in an attempt to punish and/or “tame the beast”, so to speak. He grieved the “ass”, and had a hard time tending his body with compassion, much less with actual laughter.)

WHO CARES about appearances and perfection? Well, we all do to a certain extent. But if we “go further up and further in”, we realize that yes indeed it is true; beauty is in the soul, and not in the body. It may be that our body is beautiful for a time, but not if you hang around it for very long. It will most certainly “toot”, produce strange smells, do strange things, & drive you crazy.

Doesn’t it feel good to laugh about it?

From now on I want to teasingly say to myself when I get caught in a depressing reminder that thing are going downhill bodily speaking despite my best feeding and nurturing, “Oh brother Ass, you donkey, you” and put it on a lower level of seriousness and higher level of comedic relief.

If I hear a loud sound coming from one of my children, I would like to say, “Brother Ass is in the room, I see.” But alas, I am not comfortable saying “ass” as it is mainly used as a curse word these days. I tried it with my oldest son Jacob the other day and he turned around and said in confusion, “What?” Frankly, I don’t need little Seth running around saying “brother ass” at school …… so I guess I will use the other word, which is Donkey.

Take good care of your Donkey self today, with a healthy dose of laughter, and remember your soul, which is everlasting and renewed day by day by the grace of Jesus.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:7

thoughts

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Shanda

It’s Tuesday morning. I’m still in my pajamas. The lights are on, the dishwasher and washing machine are running. Six children are off to school, one is getting ready for college. My husband is at work.

I’ve been thinking about Target and the reactions of all different sorts of people in regards to the bathrooms. I go from laughing because after having seven children, the bladder I have cares not which bathroom it uses, to sadness when I see people use religion to get all self-righteous about this issue, to tenderness as I read common sense and gracious words from all sorts of people, as well. Grace upon grace flows down, flows down, from the precious blood of Christ.

*******

Reading up on the story made me think about religion in general…….and namely, Pharisees.

Did you know Jesus had the harshest words toward the religious people of his day (the Pharisees) He loved real people, he loved sincere, he loved the common, humble men and women who knew who they were—nothing and nobody–and needy. People who knew they were hungry and thirsty –for HIM. To them, He freely gave.

To the religious hypocrites of his day he had words like these:

“vipers”
“white washed tombs”
“clean on the outside, filthy on the inside”
“woe to you!”
Is there hope for a Pharisee? Oh yes and yes. Amazingly enough, Paul became first and foremost a lover of Christ (not rules and regulations) when the Light of the world blinded him for a time, on the road to Damascus….

However, as a very ordinary and quite common woman of this modern day, I am TERRIFIED of certain religious people who believe they are doing good but are actually spreading fear, misunderstanding, and chaos throughout the world.

And by religious I mean this: a HYPOCRITICAL person who is fixated on rules and regulations regarding the outward man rather than the inward man. Fixated to the point that they take it upon themselves to “teach” others and tell them just how to live and then look down on people if they don’t take their advice. Or, a person who pretends to be godly, pretends to act for God, pretends to be a Christian, when what they are really doing is setting themselves on a pedestal and using it for prideful gain/power.

I love religion in its true form, which the Bible says is this: …If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

UH OH there is that pesky little phrase “keep oneself unstained by the world” what could that POSSIBLY MEAN???? Live in a clean, sterile little bubble of soap? Oh I’ve seen what THAT does! Did you know that living too clean can lead to even more troubles down the road? Bigger sicknesses? Not all the time….but even so, it is an unhealthy way to live both physically AND spiritually. A fixation on “cleanliness” is QUITE a cancer to the soul.

This is how I personally keep myself unstained by the world: I do not view pornography. I do not get crazy drunk. I do not participate in illegal activities or use illegal drugs like heroin, for instance. I don’t dance around at strip clubs or plan my life according to my daily horoscope. Um….what else? I don’t spend time with friends planning a perfect murder or even committing adultery with the mailman. I do not steal things or lie pathologically. I mind my own business.

See? Easy. That’s how you keep yourself unstained by the world. You can still watch movies, you can still visit a theater even! You can take prescription drugs as long as you don’t abuse them, and guess what ladies, you can wear pants! And shorts! And a bathing suit! You can hug a man! You can read Harry Potter! You can enjoy an alcoholic drink! You can shop at Target!!!!! Don’t try to put rules on yourself that God never intended.

(Yes I am very passionate about this topic–you might not be, and that’s okay)

However, if indeed you do want to put extra cautious standards in place in your life go right ahead but don’t talk about them up and down the street (internet?) like they are rules and standards from God Himself. Maybe just don’t even talk about any of the “good things” you do.

“So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. “But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:30

Oh Gosh, I hope I am making sense. I mean, some people will read this and be like “??” but if that is the case than praise God you didn’t go through a time of legalism like I did in my mid 20’s. If you are involved in a nurturing church family full of nice messy people than get down on your knees and thank the Lord, my friend!!!! But if you’re in the midst of a church that has perfect leaders watching every move you make and using the pulpit as a “whipping post” in order to keep you “clean” than run far far away……..

I have so much inside of me that I do not discuss because I hate the feeling I get when I’m stirred up and worked up. But I want people to know my beliefs. And know that I am a sinner, saved by grace. I have ordinary pride issues, bitterness issues, selfishness issues, and so on…but I don’t even care at this point…no one is perfect and I don’t obsess, trying to be. I only want to be secure in Jesus and I am already that. I’m on my way HOME, to the only place of perfect belongingness, glory-land itself. And He will welcome me and all of His precious children, with open arms, all the messy unperfect little sinners, saved by grace, that we are. He loves us, loves us, loves us……

I happen to have a blog but that does not make me ANYTHING special whatsoever. I am no authority on any subject. I have no constant advice to give or devotionals to write. I only have my own personal experience and the Bible to share. I like music, poetry, photos, and quotes.

But I am no one special.

I was put on this earth to serve a certain number of people. And if you are in my life, I am here for YOU. To love and encourage. To be real and messy. My children know all too well that their Mom is not perfect and guess what? I still get lots and lots of snuggles and so do they even when they are being annoying.

I really don’t know why I blog. It’s some sort of pull inside of me that makes me do it. I hate being “out there”, it makes me afraid to share the deep things of my heart. And yet, I still do it…..why…..why, God?

Last night I was watching Longmire with Rich and someone asked Walt, “Are you a religious person, Walt?” and he answered, “I’m a private person”.

I liked that. That’s what I am, too. But once in a while I will let it alllll out.

I really really loved the Harry Potter books. Did you know that there are some religious people who will not read them or let their children read them? The church I used to attend was against them. And at the time they were published I didn’t care much regardless because I frankly had no time to read……any time I did have time to read I was careful to read things that would be approved by my church leaders. LOL (barf) I was such a goody goody. NO MORE. I will read what I want to read! And who really cares????

Anyway, here is a quote I wrote down from the last book, yesterday, which just made me stop in awe of the spiritual lesson contained within:

“Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. He had made his choice while he dug Dobby’s grave, he had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for him by Albus Dumbledore, to accept that he had not been told everything he wanted to know, but simply to trust. He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose.”

(She had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for her by God, to accept that she had not been told everything she wanted to know, but simply to trust.)

Simply to trust.

WHY did Ethan hurt his knee just when he had to visit a college, invited by a wrestling coach that wants him on the team????
WHY do I suffer depression at times?
WHY does Sarah have to have a naughty kidney?
WHY this, why that?

I don’t know, but I trust….and I trust a God that HAS A PURPOSE that I may never know.

Satan, the dark side, wants to whisper doubts and make us falter…..and has many cunning ways of doing so…..however, in Christ we are more than conquerors. Love wins every time. Faltering isn’t so bad now and then. Doubts are forgivable, too. (He didn’t turn his back on Thomas, he gently took his hand and placed it in his side, dear blessed Thomas, loved so dearly by Him) Weakness is wonderful (he gives strength to the weak) He loves us through it all.

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.

I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.

ALL you that thirst, come to the waters: and you that have no money make haste, buy, and eat: come ye, buy wine and milk without money, and without any price.

On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.

“MOM, take a picture of this! It looks like a castle!”

Another thing….this “older woman teaching the younger”….means all kinds of things. For me, it means that I call up my mama and talk to her. For me, it means that I am teaching my daughters by sharing life with them. I’m not out looking for a mentor. Although I do love and appreciate all the women, past and present that I have learned from, there is NO lack in anyone’s life in this regard of older women teaching the younger. There needs to be no formalities here, there just needs to be living, and growing, in natural relationships. Don’t feel as if you need to pass your daughters off to someone else to teach and nurture. YOU are already doing it!!! And God will put people in their lives, naturally, to learn from. (friends, grandmas, aunts, etc)

I’m constantly giving out life advice to my children. It’s great fun. And they are constantly giving it to me as well.

Can you even believe this? ^^

Someone sits here and eats acorns. So sweet!

Spending time with this one is a J O Y. Oh how I love her.

dropped her flip flop and it started going down the stream, sooooo funny……

acorn – art

Does a hollow tree take us to Heaven? Unfortunately not.

Interesting moss

adorable boys…catching toads

Susie Q Bunyan

just sharing my heart today……

happy easter family pics

Posted on March 28, 2016 by Shanda

Blessed Savior, we adore Thee,
We Thy love and grace proclaim;
Thou art mighty, Thou art holy,
Glorious is Thy matchless name!

Great Redeemer; Lord and Master,
Light of all eternal days;
Let the saints of every nation
Sing thy just and endless praise!

From the throne of heaven’s glory
To the cross of sin and shame,
Thou didst come to die a ransom,
Guilty sinners to reclaim!

Come, O come, immortal Savior,
Come and take Thy royal throne;
Come, and reign, and reign forever,
Be the kingdom all Thine own!

Glorious, Glorious, Glorious is Thy name O Lord!
Glorious, Glorious, Glorious is They name, O Lord!

~B.B. McKinney

Blessed be Thy glorious name,
which is exalted above all blessing and praise. Nehemiah 9:5

In a small country church we gathered to worship the Lord together; Mom, Dad, the brothers and sisters, and children. The people were warm and welcoming, the Pastor preached with humility and respect. My mom took my hand and held it. Dad gave me a hug. I looked at each familiar sweet face. Truly a family is one of the greatest blessings from God, and going to church together on a beautiful Easter morning is a joy unmatched.

I was glad when they said to me, Let us go into the house of the LORD. Psalm 122:1

The people there had prayed sincerely with love for our Sarah when she was going through her kidney stone situation and they were so gracious to her on Sunday, happy to finally meet the little girl they had prayed for. God bless them and their wonderful congregation!

Then our family all drove to a resort hotel for an excellent Easter buffet. We all swapped kids so they could ride with their cousins.

My brother Dave, one of the most important people in my life.

My brother Nathan with his family. So very special to me. I can help but smile as I look at this picture.

My 18 year old son, Ethan.

My brother Isaac with his wife Cassandra. A wonderful couple. So happy to call them “mine”.

Nate with our niece, Abbie.

Dad and Mom with the beautiful lake behind them.

Emily and Jacob

The little cousins; Sarah had the best day, she thrives on “girl time”.

The big cousins; this picture makes me grin.

My beautiful sister, Amanda, with her family. We are so thankful that we live near each other and watch the children grow up together. I think this is one of the best portraits I’ve taken, I love how it turned out.

Guess who took this portrait???????
The Easter bunny!

We stayed in a hotel the night before Easter and Sarah slept in our room with us. The boys were in the joining room. I was already awake and just lying there in bed, hoping to fall back to sleep, and meditating on what exactly it means by “husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church.” How does this look in practical everyday married life? And why don’t we hear as many Bible studies about this concept as we do about “wives, submitting yourselves to your husbands”. Oh yes, I was thinking and thinking, it was quite fascinating. My eyes were shut and Rich was by my side in the bed. Well, it was still totally dark when Sarah got up to use the bathroom which was directly in front of our bed. As she turned on the very bright bathroom lights, I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. As soon as I did, that very moment, Rich’s hand clamped right down over my eyes like a suction cup. I laughed as I was shown this small but endearing sign of my husband’s love.

Our girls; the brown eyes and the blue.

Love’s redeeming work is done, Alleluia!
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids Him rise, Alleluia!
Christ has opened Paradise, Alleluia!

And He said to him, “I assure you: Today you will be with Me in paradise.”

don’t curse the darkness; light a candle

Posted on March 20, 2016 by Shanda

“Many times I would go to my mother with my heart and mind terribly bothered. I had so many questions that tortured my little mind. My heart was aching. Mother would patiently listen to me, and then would tell me, ‘My boy, the Bible says that the whole world lives in evil. Everything is so dark, there is no other way than to expect God to do His grace to this world. These conditions, these evil things, make it a greater responsibility for us Christians to light our torches, to be a light of hope for many who want to see something better than what they experience at present.’ There was a Chinese proverb that she knew, and many times she would tell it to me, admonishing me to look unto Christ, who is the sun of righteousness, the light of the world. This was the proverb that she would tell me: ‘Don’t become bitter. Don’t curse the darkness. It is better to light a candle.’ So, she would encourage me to do any good act, to be ready to help man and beast, those who were in need. Whenever she was unable to go and call on some sick or on some bereaved, she would send me with some little gift (some fruit, some flowers), something that would bring some hope, a beam of light in their hearts.” ~Philotheos Zikas (b.1907, Greece)

plant notebook

Posted on February 23, 2016 by Shanda

(breakfast, Bible reading, journal)

“They were totally amazed, for they still didn’t understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in.” Mark 6:51, 52

“Jesus, according to your Word, keep my thoughts fixed on You, so that by your grace, my heart will be, not hard, but soft with the ability to take in your miracles, Your work in my life every day.”

plant3 1

Oh Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them.

Psalm 40:5

*****

P L A N T N O T E B O O K

plant2

Christmas Cactus
purchased at Logee’s
reminded me of Great Grandma
plant needs partial shade, blooms during the short winter days and cooler temperatures
water thoroughly after soil looks dry
fertilize once every two weeks

plant

String of Pearls or Bead Plant

Purchased at Logee’s
I bought it because I think it’s beautiful.
plant is an easy grower and needs fertilizing once every two months
blooms small white flowers that smell like cinnamon

plant3

Life Saver Plant

also from Logee’s
I purchased this one because I thought it was very cool. The flowers bloom to look just like life saver tubes.
full sun, little watering, fertilizer from spring to fall once a month.
perfect for windowsills

plants4

Aloe Vera

given to me by my Mom

Leaves contain juice that helps with the pain of a burns and scrapes.
needs full sun and well draining soil.
water deeply and let dry to a depth of 2 inches before next watering.
Plant produces babies that may be repotted (as gifts for friends and/or daughters).
my pinterest board to inspire houseplants galore

we both learn more about peace

Posted on February 4, 2016 by Shanda

One of the best things about having children is being able to hang original art all over the house. This weekend I was emptying out Seth’s backpack when I found this wonderful paper plate project. It took me a moment to recognize that it was his hand with a dove over it.

“Seth, this is beautiful!” I gushed.

“It means peace,” he grunted happily.

“His class talked about peace but they aren’t able to mention God so…..” (I thought)

“Oh I love peace, it comes from God!” I say.

“AND Arthur Luther King,” he added.

Amen.

as much as it is possible

Posted on January 29, 2016 by Shanda

“Just to be tender, just to be true
Just to be glad the whole day through,

Just to be merciful, just to be mild,
Just to be trustful as a child;

Just to be gentle and kind and sweet,
Just to be helpful with willing feet,

Just to be cheery when things go wrong,

Just to drive sadness away with song,

Whether the hour is dark or bright,

Just to be loyal to God and right,

Just to believe that God knows best,

Just in his promises ever to rest

Just to let love be our daily key,

That is God’s will for you and for me.”
~ Heart Throbs

As much as it is possible, live in peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18

on the eve of Christmas day

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Shanda

Ah, sweet Christmas.

I will allow nothing to discourage me about the reality of saving grace in Jesus Christ. There is no condemnation for those who love Him. Condemnation happens when we or someone we hold in high esteem convince us that we are unworthy to be called a child of God because “we don’t dress right” “we don’t go to church often enough” “we drink a glass of wine now and then” “we listen to the wrong kinds of music”…..things that are NONE OF ANYONE’S BUSINESS…you see, as a lover of Christ I AM FREE. I am free to be the unique individual He made me to be. Salvation changes a hard, stone cold heart into a tender heart. Salvation means that Christ has made my soul properly clean before God, because of Him, I have a secure hope that when the time comes for Heaven, He will stand with me and advocate for my standing as a beloved daughter, a person chosen and precious before God. I am welcomed into everlasting life. Therefore I have new life, I have hope as I live my days here as a wife and mother, as a friend and a sister. By the amazing grace of God.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. Romans 8

I AM NOT FREE TO be habitually judgmental, jealous, bitter, mean, unkind, fake, cold, abusive, unforgiving, prideful, angry or selfish. People who call themselves christians and still continue year after year in these behaviors are scary. I will run away from them……..I’ve had experience with “christians” who are like this and I myself was somewhat legalistic years ago for a time because of the leaders in a former church’s example and teachings…..(I have a story—I understand if you have one, too) but God is ever faithful and grew me away from those behaviors which caused so many problems in my life. I still struggle at times because of that experience. So flee from any legalist people in your life. Don’t allow yourself to be tainted by their judgmental ways. Keep yourself childlike, trusting, open, loving, and gracious. Reading the Bible (God’s love letter to you) is the medicine our soul needs so that our hearts stay open and loving. “His law is love, and his gospel is peace.”

The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Romans 13:12

I will still make mistakes. AND IT’S OKAY BECAUSE I AM HUMAN, a beautiful humanly human. We all are. I love myself the way God made me, and the way he made my friends just the way they are, I don’t focus on their “faults”, I understand them and appreciate them. My friends love me the way I am. Are we perfect? No. But we are perfect for each other. (Good Will Hunting)

This is what I’m thinking about this Christmas season. …. Jesus Christ came from Heaven to earth to save sinners. AND HE DID IT, HE DOES IT. He ushered in an age of Amazing Grace. He swept away the doctrines of the Pharisee which held to an impossible standard of perfection and looked down on everyone else, and gathered up for his own the outcasts, the lowly, the lost causes, and turned them into children of God. He loves us so much. He always has, he always will.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17

******

We made the Christmas cookies. Every year there are two kinds that we simply must have: Russian teacakes and gingerbread men. My children helped me and they were very cute. (both the cookies and the kids)

Our neighbors came for a quick visit the morning of Christmas Eve and gave David a present (and the rest of us, too). One of the things I am most thankful for this last year is getting to know them better. We can visit and share laughs…and later on today we are going to see the new Star Wars movie together.

In the afternoon my sister and her family came. We had planned on a brunch but then found out that Jason had to work half day and Rich had to coach a wrestling practice. But we still had breakfast food….which we ate at lunch time.

We had pancakes, cinnamon rolls, hash brown casserole, cherry topping, whipped cream and maple syrup for the pancakes, mimosas, bacon, and sausage.

wonderfully active, silly boys

Michael came for brunch before he had to leave for work. This young man is like family to us, he is Jacob’s best friend and we all love him.

Naomi is my little niece and one of Sarah’s favorite friends. These two girls spent the day together playing.

They played with Naomi’s bitty baby, Grace’s old bitty baby, and Sarah’s bitty baby. 🙂

I thought it was so great that Naomi wore her Christmas dress to my house. She looked like a princess all day long.

Grace’s boyfriend Caleb was able to spend time with us as well.

In large family gatherings you just never know what will happen. David decided it was a good time to roller blade throughout the house.

We watched a movie (ELF).

And exchanged gifts…..so fun. I love my family…my one and only sister, her husband who is like a brother to me and Rich, their children. We are so thankful for each other.

Caleb videoed Grace opening one of her presents so his mom could watch it later on.

Determination and belief that there is room for him.

We played Pictionary. Amanda and I were a team, Jason and Rich were another team. At first they were winning……(we had to use make-shift game pieces)

But then we pulled ahead and won.

The losers didn’t want to be seen. 🙂

My beautiful niece Abigail with her cousin Ethan.

Then Jacob’s girlfriend Emily showed up bearing gifts.

She had a gift for everyone, even the chickens.

Jacob gave her a Willowtree figurine which she loved so much that she….

gave him a smooch.

aren’t they so cute???????

Jacob works at the shoe department in Dick’s sporting goods so she also got two pairs of sneakers.

And that was that. Everyone went home, we put the children to bed, and it was just Rich and I doing what we always do on Christmas Eve. Finish wrapping presents and arrange them all under the tree. I was getting sick with a terrible head cold that has lasted for days but we got the job done with a feeling of anticipation for the morning to come.

when I taste your goodness, I shall not want

Posted on November 3, 2015 by Shanda

“Though the fig tree may not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines;
though the labor of the olive may fail,
and the fields yield no food;
though the flock be cut off from the fold,
and there be no herd in the stalls–
yet I will rejoice in my Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.”
Habakkuk 3:17-18

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-6

“Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” John 14:27

“But now, this is what the Lord says…Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

“….Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

“Tell everyone who is discouraged, Be strong and don’t be afraid! God is coming to your rescue.” Isaiah 35:4

“He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” Mark 4:39 (He does this to the storms in our souls, too)

Unless the Lord has judged our fears to be a great evil, He would not so often have forbidden them, or have prepared such a heavenly quietus for them. Charles Spurgeon

“Permit me to say there is nothing in the Bible to make any man fear who puts his trust in Jesus. Nothing in the Bible did I say? There is nothing in heaven, nothing on earth, nothing in hell, that need make you fear who trust in Jesus.” Spurgeon

“The Lord may be very close to thee, dear child, when thou canst not see Him, perhaps closer than ever he was when thou couldst see Him. The presence of God is not to be measured by the realization of it.” Spurgeon

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, the weapons we fight with have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

******

You see, dear friends, I have a daily struggle with anxiety and have very unwisely held on to fears and allowed them to grow. I have allowed exhaustion to grow, too, until life itself seemed too much to bear. And indeed, it was too much to bear. How very thankful I am for Mother, who called me during her work day to simply listen to me cry and cry and talk it all out, and the wisdom she spoke to me. “You’re exhausted. You need to rest. Don’t do anything during your free times but rest. And then when quiet time is over, get up and bake something for your family.”

I am ashamed of my weakness when I think of many others in the past and present that have a life much more difficult than mine. But the truth is, God is almost certainly going to gently allow EACH ONE OF US to sink to our lowest, our breaking point, to show us the comfort and delights to be found in Himself. No matter what your life situation, there will be times of difficulty, and if you are a believer and a lover of Jesus, it is during those times when you will find yourself on your knees and know that your faith is not in vain. It is a true faith, a simple childlike faith, in a God so big and loving that it truly does bring a peace that passes all understanding.

I pray my most desperate prayers in the bathroom. I lock the door and turn on the ventilation fan so no one can hear me, and I kneel down by the bathtub and pray. I tell Jesus exactly what is making me fearful or anxious. I tell Him that I cannot control the anxiety and that I need Him to take over and do the work inside of me. I tell Him of the verses I know that command me not to worry and that I trust Him. How grateful I am when I pray it all out and find my spirit restored once again. It truly does work, and not because of anything I have done, but because of Christ and His provision.

It’s been AMAZING.

AMAZING.

In between the prayer times, life has been relatively peaceful again…..true, the children are all getting sick over and over….but, ONLY BECAUSE I’m learning to let go and get through it the best I can without freaking out inside!!! Life is not an emergency.

I’m trying to be more like my cat.

Grace and Jenna taking tickets at the play we went to a few weeks ago.

David

Jacob and David, I think they were playing smashy road….Dave is using my phone.

“This home is a shelter for those we hold dear, wishing peace to all who enter here.”

David followed a youtube instructional video last night and made gummy candy out of jello.

Here it is before he cut it.

Sarah’s library book which was not intended for the highly observant child (the kittens were slightly different throughout the book but supposed to be the same three and she kept asking me who was who.)

I colored her hair slightly with hair chalk, as per her request. There is a small green streak on the left and a small purple streak on the right.

Seth showed me his tricks while waiting for the bus. He was kicking the football and then trying to catch it with one hand. Hilarious

Thank you for the beautiful plants, Amy!!!!

If you’re anxious about anything today, find a quiet time to pray and let your burdens go to His capable hands. Jesus is more than conqueror of all our fears and no one understands what men and women go through like He does. We all have such unique and challenging lives, but in Him we can live them peacefully and calmly, with thanksgiving. He will take those worries and destroy them!

And gosh darn it, slow down and get your rest.

Eat properly, too.

Drink water.

Get some sunshine.

Onward and upward.

You are loved.