after berries

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savor ~ to enjoy food or an experience slowly, in order to enjoy it as much as possible

*****

“If she were seen holding a stem of beardtongue blossoms to admire their color or stooping to touch the spikes of jimson leaves, some would solemnly call her mazed in the head not to know beardtongue when she saw it, and others would wonder, grinning, was she so wit-scoured as perhaps to eat jimson?  Gossip had it that she went about with a notebook and pencil and would stare at a thing–bird or bush, weed, sunset, mountain—and then scratch at paper awhile as if she were addled enough in her thinking that she might forget what was important to her if she did not mark it down.”  Cold Mountain, page 77-78

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I was walking around the pond and picked the stems of three daisies to gift to little Sarah, who was playing at the water’s edge.  I thought she would enjoy floating them in the water like pretty little boats.  I happened to see a tiny struggle going on underneath one of the blossoms.  A small red bug was pulling and tugging at a worm smaller even than one of the white petals.  I put it gently on the ground to watch.  A miniature little scene, something real and active, yet silent and easily missed.  Neither one of them wanted to let go…the bug holding the worm, and the worm holding the thin edge of the daisy petal.  But shortly the worm lost it’s hold and the bug moved fast to carry it away.  Of course with the daisy now topsy turvy, it took him a quick second to realize that what was “down” was now “up” and the bug had to run back down from the top of the cut of stem to move off the flower and onto the rock,  heading for the sheltering grass.

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With a basket on my arm, I later wandered away from the house alone in the golden ending hours of the day.  I was after berries.  I found a cup and a half of blackberries around the house and garage and wanted to see if I could find more.  I had an idea of where some might be, and perhaps even some blueberries, but the bush I thought was likely blueberry turned out to be something unidentifiable.  It had little white blossoms on it that looked like the blossoms for blueberries, but no berries, instead, little hard seed pods.  I stood in the twilight, letting myself settle into the very quiet of the beaver pond.  Three golden birds sang by with their wings fluttering.

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I was wearing flip flops which were now soaked with water but as I looked a short distance down, I thought I could see a blueberry bush, so once again I picked my way through tall grasses, rocks, and branches, basket on my arm, heavy camera around my neck.  Smiling a little smile.

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I tasted a berry, there weren’t very many, and held a thin branch of blueberry bush in my hand.  The bark was rough and strong.

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Under the bush was like a shelter.  The branches were over hanging, all leaning toward the right, making a roof of green leaves overhead.  I imagined taking the time to gather in under them, to watch the water, the little bugs skimming on top, the birds flying by not knowing I was there.

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The path that I took to get to the bottom of the hill, with the water of the beaver pond.

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There is something so satisfying about standing still in a lonely spot of nature for a time, listening, looking, wondering.

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{this moment}

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opened presents
went to Crackerbarrel for breakfast
put together his lego set
looked at his baby book for the first time
had his favorite dinner at home (chicken divan)
this is a football-birthday for our football-loving boy
Caleb turns 10!!!!!!!

the comfort of God

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“A pond without dragonflies darting above it or without the exquisitely iridescent damsel flies clinging to the leaves of its border would be a lonely place indeed.” (this and all following nature quotes are by Anna Comstock)

Dragonflies are common at our place as we have two ponds and a stream.  It is always a pleasure to stand on the road and lean over the guardrail to peer into the water of the stream and watch the bright green bodied damsel flies, or to walk along the edge of the lawn where the tall grasses grow and observe the various dragonflies fluttering.  And it is always a feeling of accomplishment if I can get close enough to one with my camera and snap a clear photo.

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“The grasshopper has some means of defense as well as of escape; it can give a painful nip with its mandibles; and when seized, it emits copiously from the mouth a brownish liquid which is acrid and ill smelling.  This performance interests children who are won’t to seize the insect by its jumping legs and hold it up, commanding it to ‘chew tobacco'”.  

What delightful and beautiful insects grasshoppers are!   Watching them jump is highly amusing, their back legs are like springs.

When I look at this photo of a grasshopper, I am struck by an urge to try to draw it.

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This was an exciting surprise.  I was hunting the trees along the edge of the field for birds and my only thought was determination to take a pretty BIRD photo in the evening light.  And what do I see?  A tiny, chubby chipmunk way up high, frozen in fear as I photographed it.  Look at those tiny ears.

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“The lay of the bullfrog, which like the song of some noted opera singers, is more wonderful than musical; the boom of the bullfrog makes the earth fairly quake.”

Even the bullfrog is lovely with it’s green and brown skin and gorgeous round & golden eyes shinier and prettier than any marble.  You can see the sky reflected within it’s black iris.  The round circle to the right of the eye is the ear.  My sons love to catch bullfrogs and consider them friends of the pond.

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Notice anything special about this chicken?

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The hydrangeas are continuing to dazzle.

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Another surprise!  Just one week after seeing a baby chipmunk in a tree, I was sitting on the porch talking to my husband when my eyes landed on this one, way up high in the bush by our porch.

“While the chipmunk is a good runner and jumper, it is not so able a climber as is the red squirrel, and it naturally stays nearer the ground……a second glance showed me that it was a chipmunk lying close to the branch, hanging on for ‘dear life’ and with an attitude of extreme caution…”

So what was this chipmunk doing up in a bush?  I believe the answer was this:

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Kitty on the porch probably chased it up there.  And after giving up on the chipmunk ever coming down, went back to his cozy seat on the porch to take a bath.

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A chipmunk observer.

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The children played a game of catch over by the chicken coop.

 

 

 

 

*******

I had many real and imagined worries about the children and their future and by the end of the day yesterday I gathered my journal and my Bible to me like a lifeline…knowing that I needed most of all to saturate my mind with the truth of God, that He is in control of all things and that I can trust Him with my (His) children whom I love so much that I never want to let go of them or these days.

How Does God Comfort us?

Through His very nature, He is faithful.  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”

Through His Word.  “I delight in your word every day.”

Through Prayer.  “Morning, noon and night I complain to you, Lord, and you always listen to me.  I rise before dawn and cry for help.”

Through His Holy Spirit.  “If we live by the Spirit, let us walk by the Spirit.”

Through others.  “Let us stir up each other to love and to good works.”

“I believe, Lord, that as I seek you I find you.  You will always show me the way that is good for my life,  You will lead me along the right way and I know that you always love me.  You pour your love into my heart so that I praise you because of your faithfulness; my innermost being says ‘thank you.’ Through the cross of Christ I have been brought back to you:  how I praise you!  Through the cross my life is transformed.  For Jesus Christ’s resurrection and for my new life I praise you.”

From a little booklet published in 1985 by Gospel Light Publications, “Enjoying God who Comforts”

lemon cupcakes

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We used the spray-on sunscreen.  I used it on David and I laughed hysterically yesterday when Rich showed me this picture he took of Dave’s back yesterday at the track:

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I honestly thought I had covered him entirely!

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On the fourth of July Rich took the kids to the playground so he could go running.  I made macaroni salad (amish recipe) and looked forward to grilling for dinner.

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I love our old-fashioned looking flag bunting for the porch and my dark blue hanging baskets.

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After they came home the boys wouldn’t let Seth on the trampoline and he was sad.  I was fine with it though because three boys on the trampoline is an accident waiting to happen.

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He was still pouting.  Some of us did manage to wear red/white/and blue.  🙂

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A good mama.

When it was time to start the grill Rich said “oh shoot, I’m out of charcoal” and I almost threw away the meat.  He went to the store and eventually we did eat our grilled beef kabobs, baked beans, macaroni salad, cantaloupe, and spice cake.

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At our church those who are taking communion file up to the front to take the bread and then the cup, then going back to their seats to partake.  Those who don’t take it are left in the pew to try to work their positions in order to be the one sitting next to MOM when she returns……the boys were silent but determined and my communion cup was jostled so that most of it dumped on my chest and lap.   I just had to laugh because I know God understands how hard it is for me to stay focused in church these days, and He wants me to cherish the moments.  I was in constant thoughts with God, and knew He was enjoying my situation just as much as I was.  Rich took the picture after we had gotten back home.

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Abbie spend the weekend with Grace.  She is my sister’s oldest and the girls are one year apart, both born in November.  Cousins and best friends.

On Sunday I had such fun taking them out to Starbucks.

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And then shopping.

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We spent most of our time in Sephora…..

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They had a free mini makeover service and learned about conturing.

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I let them each pick one item as a gift from me to them.  Abbie chose purple mascara.  “Do you think my Mom will let me wear it?”  “Well, if not you could at least wear it at home!” And Grace picked out a new eye-liner pencil.  I treated myself to a new lipstick.

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Later that night they made lemon cupcakes and served me in bed while I was reading my latest book, Cold Mountain.  Rich had one as well, as he read a book by Bill Piper (John Piper’s dad).

To be honest, I made Rich go out to the kitchen to get me a second one.  They were so good!

2/3 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
3 eggs
1 2/3 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup milk
1 Tablespoon grated lemon peel

In a large bowl, cream shortening and sugar until light and fluffy.  Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.  Combine the flour, baking powder and salt; add to the creamed mixture alternately with milk, beating well after each addition.  Stir in lemon peel.

Bake in muffin cups at 350 for 20-24 minutes, and frost.

 

Rich woke me up at 2 in the morning yelling at the teenagers to go to bed.  The girls were running up and down the stairs and the boys were playing video games.  After which we had insomnia for over an hour.  We tossed and turned.  Ugh.

He’s at work now and I’m showered and dressed.  I’m leaving here in about an hour to take the kids to the one dollar movie at the mall.

I don’t want to end this post without sharing a sweet compliment that my husband gave me.  We were snuggling close in bed when he said, “Shan, I don’t ever remember a time in all the years we’ve been married that you’ve smelled bad.”

 

{this moment}

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I remember the first time we took baby Sarah to the ocean.  She crinkled up her eyes in disgust and would not put her hands down to touch the sand.

We took the children to the beach yesterday and five year old Sarah was busy enjoying herself the whole day long.  Digging in the sand, collecting every shell in sight, swimming even though the water was cold, playing with nearby little girls, twirling her new hula hoop.  We were there for six hours and she cried when we had to leave.

She loves the ocean.

grace’s new hair style

I’m sure you might feel the same as I do about Grace’s hair.

I loved it long, it was so beautiful.  She got several compliments on it from random strangers in the days leading up to her appointment.

But, she’s had long hair for years and she was feeling a desire for a change.  Also, her hair is fairly thin and to me it wasn’t looking as healthy as it used to.

She asked us if she could cut it and after thinking about it for at least a month or more, we agreed that it was time for her to chose a hair style and sit herself down in a hair salon.

Here is a “before” picture::

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(the determined look)

The sweetest part of this story is that her Dad took her to the spa to get it done.  She had to go twice, once for the cut and the second time for the color (done today) and he took her both times.  He also made her an appointment to get her nails painted, too.

(He makes most of my hair appointments for me, as well, and loves it when I pamper myself.  It’s one of the ways that he enjoys showing his love for his wife and daughters.)

He spent lots of money on her and then she came home and got upset about FISH!  But it’s Rich’s fault entirely.  You don’t buy 80 live silver shiners and then release them into the pond to get EATEN ALIVE by bass and catfish right in front of your tender hearted daughters and expect them to be happy about it.

We had to wait until after lunch cheered her up again before we could do our little photo shoot.

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The cut looks so cute on her and I love the subtle ombre.  She came up with this style on her own and it looks adorable.  She’s 15 and this is just the right time to say “yes” to harmless changes!

 

marvel: to be filled with wonder

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It was the perfect summer day full of small marvels.  Caleb went off with a fishing pole and his little sister followed him.  I was in the house with an illness….diagnosed as the “urge to clean”.  Eventually I worked it out and flew outdoors to try to clear the smell of bleach from my respiratory system.  Jacob and Ethan were cleaning the chicken coop.  I could hear Jacob happily whistling as he worked.  Caleb and Sarah were coming out of the woods and I walked to meet them.  They were on their way to see me with a present.

They had discovered a big, handsome wild mushroom.  They found it while they were looking for fishing bait.  I thought they were the sweetest children to think of me.  I went to get my camera so I could take a picture of it.   It was about 6 inches tall and weighed about 1.5 pounds.  We rarely see mushrooms this healthy.  The underneath was full of tunnels and I saw a glimpse of a very scared bug wondering how it’s large meal/home had been disturbed.

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While I was studying the mushroom under a pine tree, Seth brought over a toad.

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Then they began to fish.

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But they didn’t catch anything.  Caleb said he thought it was because the fish were not hungry.

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Many hours later the children were outside making a fort in the woods.  I went to go check on them and do a little spying.  First I admired my newly cleaned coop and checked on my chicks, all of which are growing up nicely.  They still make their peeping sounds and are about half grown.  We let them spend the day outside in their fence now and then.  It takes some work on our part because they don’t voluntarily go back into the coop at dusk and we have to catch them and/or retrieve them from trees.

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I found Sarah and Seth talking in the stream.  Seth had gotten a sliver in his foot and was soaking it in the water.

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We went over to see how the fort was coming along.  The children were busy chopping and gathering suitable sticks.  They worked on it until supper time.  I left them to it and went up to the field by myself.

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It is a wonderful place to see so many ordinary but (if you take a closer look) fascinating wild flowers and grasses, insects, butterflies, and birds.  This flower had heart shaped petals.  There was a bee on it with legs as golden as the flower, covered in pollen.

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This colorful insect that bore an uncanny resemblance to SpiderMan was on a milkweed plant.  As I bent to look closer, it scurried underneath the leaf of the milkweed to hide from me.  We played “chase” like this until I finally just slowly bent the plant over to take a picture.  It was fun.  Outsmarting an insect is so satisfying.  🙂

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The white spot on this moth (?) is actually shiny silver.  Look at it’s eyes and antennae.  (if you click on the photo you can see it bigger).

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There were the most gorgeous orange butterflies.  But they were hyper-active.  They never landed.  How on earth do butterflies manage to not rip their wings as they fly around?  I decided to ignore them but all throughout my walk one would catch my eye and I would grieve that I couldn’t possibly get a good picture.  This one was the best I could do.  Do you see it?  I showed the picture to Grace and we laughed and laughed.  Caleb said it looked like a flying slug.  (He was traumatized by a slug when he used one for bait that morning.  He could not get the slug slime off his hands and it bothered him for hours..another nature marvel).

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I almost saw a snake, too.  As I walked over to the stream, something dropped down to the ground to slither away…I didn’t see it…but the grass was slithering as it traveled away.  I’m sure it was a large snake.  For the rest of the walk there were imaginary snakes everywhere I went.  There is always an element of creepiness when one walks in fields of tall thick grasses and flowers.

In my mind, I looked like this in the field:

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Reality was quite different, but this is the cover of the book I am currently reading.  It is rocking my world.  I grew up reading the Little House books, in fact they were the first books I read myself as an 8 year old girl.  They are as known to me as my mother’s home cooked meals.

I found out yesterday that Pa GAVE JACK AWAY to the man who bought Pet and Patty!  He didn’t stay with Laura until he died like in the books!!!!!!!!!  They had another dog named Wolfie!!!!!!!!!!!!!   To find out more you’ll have to check the book out yourself.  Needless to say, I’m loving it while being mildly disturbed, and learning a lot about editing and writing one’s story as a piece of fiction based on truth.

 

waffle summer

This is fun.

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I love making breakfast for the children.  The best thing about summer vacation is that the extra time we have makes it possible to do so.  I’ve been making waffles.

I suppose it has something to do with the moment a few weeks back when my Mom and I were organizing my pantry and we discovered that one of the boys had put my waffle maker back with waffle stuck all over it.  It was shocking. I remembered the day years ago that Rich bought me that wonderful waffle maker from Williams and Sonoma.  I was so proud of it, but had forgotten how much I enjoyed it.  I immediately felt like nurturing my waffle maker again.  As soon as I had extra time again (days later), I took it outside and cleaned the crumbs out of it.  The dog was by my side, eating them out of the grass.  Waffle makers have the potential to be the filthiest appliance in the house if they aren’t perfectly cleaned after each use.  Even the cord itself was coated in old batter.  (I blame the boy who used it last.)

Of course once it was clean again I immediately wanted to use it.

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This morning I made cornmeal waffles from a Bed and Breakfast cookbook.  Before I mixed them up, I thinly sliced 2 quarts of strawberries into a fiesta bowl and sugared them.  The kids could put strawberries on their waffles, maple syrup, or both.

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Cornmeal Waffles
2 large eggs
1 3/4 cup milk
1 cup cornmeal
1/4 cup sugar
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
6 Tablespoons melted butter

In a large bowl beat the eggs and add the milk.  In a separate bowl combine the dry ingredients and store into the egg mixture.  Gradually add the melted butter.  Spoon into a greased hot waffle iron, and bake.

Notes:  I use one of those silicone pastry brushes to grease my waffle maker.  Also, I added extra flour to this recipe because I like waffle batter to be thick.

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When I made them, only Caleb, Seth, and Sarah were awake.  So all the rest are waiting in a 200 degree oven, waiting for the big kids to wake up and eat them.  Last week we had someone spending the night with the boys and he was so amazed that I had made waffles from scratch that he took a picture of the recipe.

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(star wars and elsa)

I have something to say to you that has nothing to do with waffles!

God is Sovereign, is in perfect control of all things.
Jesus had harsh words for hypocrites.
Self-righteousness is a terrible attitude and scares people.
Strange and Unusual Joy is a mark of a Christian.
A key to a content life is purposefully living the one God gave you and enjoying each part of it.
Continuous study and learning…having a curiosity about life and living….is another way to grow in grace.
If you believe in the blessedness of marriage, put extra time and effort into your own.
At some point in the very near future all the children of God will experience the best happy ending in History….and I just cannot wait!!!!

“The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”