first fire

Posted on October 17, 2013 by Shanda

“In thine own ways, O God of love,
We wait the visits of thy grace.”

Rich was away from Tuesday to Friday last week, he worked from home on Friday and he took the picture of me….I love it because I think it’s sweet how my body reacts to him being gone and then back home. When he is gone, God gives me extra strength and energy to take care of things, almost like a caffeine rush. When he returns, it’s amazing how I completely relax. When he took the picture, I was outside on the porch watching Sarah Joy play, and could hardly keep my eyes open, I was so sleepy. Like a contented cat in a sunbeam, is how I feel, when my husband is near.

(Ethan, 15, and Jacob, 16, my fine young teenagers)

Our new addition is almost done, so close to being done that I’m full of joy with the prospect of decorating it, and moving in. We are just about there, my friends. We have a fire place! Rich is a man’s man through and through, but I can see the little boy in him as he sets about building his woodpile and carrying in the logs. He’s so cute when he carries in the logs. He had a delivery of them (trees, practically) unloaded on the lawn (which is now going to sit there and make me nervous until it’s chopped, because I’m afraid the children will climb on them and make them roll down and flatten someone) and I used the beauty of the *dangerous* logs as a backdrop to take a couple of pictures. Pictures? But of course!

Grace is adorable even when her hair blows across her face, and can it be that she will turn 14 soon? Yes, in just a couple weeks.

She is wise beyond her years and brave, too. She’s adjusting so well to High School, I am very proud of her. Thankful.

Rich had enough of a woodpile already chopped up and ready, so he built our first fire this weekend. There was just enough chill in the air to make it worthwhile.

It was a moment. We loved the feel of the heat and can picture ourselves sitting in front of it in rocking chairs (seriously, they are on order!), toasting. The fire cracks and sizzles, the smoky smell is like fine perfume of a different sort. Oh we love it.

Every creature the house loves it.

On the other side of the room, I have a new hutch! It’s the perfect and most beautiful piece of furniture to display *some of* my fiestaware collection. Our table is to the left of the fireplace, on the side of the room.

Once the room is complete I will share pictures of every angle. We still need trim, a mantle on the fireplace, curtains, doors, etc.

I love that God’s will for me is to turn my house into a home, and make it into a sweet place of love and warmth for family and friends. I pray that His presence will be felt here. “A new addition” could never mean as much to me as the fellowship we hope to have within it’s walls.

Dear Savior, let thy beauties be
My soul’s eternal food;
And grace command my heart away,
From all created good.

Have a wonderful afternoon, friends.

You are loved.

a pretty dumbfounding sunrise

Posted on October 16, 2013 by Shanda

Just a quick post to share the photos my brother texted me.

This was the sunrise he saw this morning!

Doesn’t it look like fire? He wrote that he was “pretty dumbfounded” when he saw it.

((((love))))

thanks Dave, for sharing the sunrise with me today.

beaver dam

Posted on October 15, 2013 by Shanda

“Those old days when the balancing of a yellow butterfly

o’re a thistle bloom

Was spiritual food and lodging

for the whole afternoon.” -Lowell

If Seth the small hadn’t gotten stuck in a pine tree down by the pond I probably wouldn’t have made my exciting nature discovery this morning.

But he did get stuck, and called for help, and that is how I stopped dusting and got outdoors.

As I walked down to lend a hand, I realized what a perfect autumn day it was turning out to be, glowing and breezy, warm and sunny.

He was outside in the first place, to wear off energy. So I made him run while Sarah and I went down to the stream with scissors. I was collecting thin branches of pretty leaves to fill a scarlet fiesta vase in the house.

The kittens ran ahead of us and raced through the tall grass and shrubs. I heard a splash in the stream and thought one of them had fallen in. When I saw they were both dry I next wondered if it had been a large turtle.

We meandered down the stream and pond and the sunshine was just right, making shadows and bright spots, in such a beautiful way. I gazed ahead through the trees and saw, to my surprise, a dam of sticks and leaves blocking up the stream. I stood and looked, almost not believing my eyes. How could a new beaver dam be built so close to the house without us noticing it?

Then I thought that perhaps the splash I heard was a beaver jumping in the water.

We’ve witnessed their work before. A few years back they plugged up the stream near the road, and the town came in to pull it up, twice. Last year they were working further into the woods. Now they are here. How fascinating!

(beaver art)

We moved in closer and I noticed that the sticks were not chewed in the typical beaver way…..I think maybe they gathered up a lot of them from the ground in the woods….quite smart. Investigating further, I also saw signs of fresh small trees being brought down, too. Sad to say, when beavers are around, saying goodbye to trees will soon follow. It hurts to see them go, but I have read that they can be useful in clearing out smaller ones, enabling the remaining trees to thrive with more room to grow.

The stream is so full beyond the dam that it is softly flowing over the sides and into the woods, forming a small pond. The sound of the water filtering through the sticks and leaves is soothing. Some of it came up over my flip flops and I squealed ….so cold! It is a new look for our stream and it will be interesting to see how it will all end. The town isn’t very keen on beaver colonies.

“Hi! I’m Sarah and I’m checking out the beaver dam with Mom!”

After we looked it all over and had a lesson on how to say “beaver” (Seth kept saying “fever”) we moved on to take pleasure the woods for a little while.

yellows and red

wondering if she should climb

a dry curling leaf

yellow leaves

climbing seth

Poor Seth ended up hurting his finger and getting a sliver so we headed back home for a bandaid.

The fresh air does a good job of tiring them out and right after lunch they went down for naps. They are sleeping still, and I wonder if they dream of beavers?

Sarah, two years ago.

All seven of my children…David, Ethan with Seth, Jacob with Sarah, Caleb with his eyes closed, and Grace.

Fall, 2013

{this moment}

Image

joining soulemama for another “this moment” post:

A Friday ritual.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

please click on picture to view full sized

cookies

Posted on October 10, 2013 by Shanda

It’s a beautiful, cloudy, cool morning outside. There is a heap of laundry to fold and some sloshing around in the washer getting washed, as I type. It’s a soothing sound. Seth and Sarah are playing with the kittens. The dog is at my feet.

Awake at 6, I spent half an hour with my older ones before their bus came. They talked to me about things that were important to them. Jacob had a field trip yesterday to Salem, MA. Grace and I sat together on the couch. Ethan was busy getting ready for school. I have come to enjoy the early morning visits together. Sometimes Grace asks me to braid her hair.

Rich has been gone on a business trip and will be home later tonight. He’s still parenting, though, and I had to laugh when Jacob told me that last night at 10:30 he got a text from him, “Jacob, are you behaving yourself? It’s time for you to get to sleep.” Jacob and Ethan were in the middle of playing a computer game together so it was a good thing they got the instruction from their Dad, I was sound asleep at that time. They felt like he was watching them and I’m thankful for my husband.

I had a frightening experience this morning but now I’m laughing about it. Caleb was ready for school early enough to play with Seth and they were downstairs in his room when I heard screams to stop my heart. Caleb was screaming for help in the most terrifying manner. I ran down expecting glass? blood? broken bones? a wild animal attack? electrocution? These screams said the worst was happening to my precious boy. I got down there and found him: upside down. head first and completely inside not one, but two sleeping bags. on the floor. with his pant leg caught up on the dresser knob, with the dresser about to fall on him, and Seth just standing there. Apparently Caleb was originally on the bed when Seth pushed him off. I was more upset with him for being so dramatic than anything else, so the lesson learned (one hopes) was “Do not Scream and Cry for Help so Terrifyingly Unless Things are Truly That Bad.”

My son David has been reading nonstop, that new Percy Jackson book. I stopped by Barnes and Noble yesterday to get it for him. Ethan wants it next, than Grace.

David’s remarks when reading:

“I love reading a new book. Because there is suspense.”

“I love home.” (getting curled up with book on the couch and smiling)

“Mom? Isn’t it funny when you’re reading a book- you can’t wait to get to the next page but then when it’s at the end you wish there was more?”

**********

The fall colors have peaked at our place. Most of them have dropped off the trees but there are still some steadfastly hanging on.

This is the red tree I was sitting under just last week…..now it’s mostly bare branches.

The pines by the pond have been dropping their old yellow needles.

Carpeting the ground beneath with them. They smell so good I think about making a pillow.

pine needles and leaves on the pond

I find it so fascinating that this bee’s nest was being built and was hanging up in the trees and we never saw it until the leaves started coming down. (down by the other pond)

Old Sunflower; I waited for so long to bloom that I can’t bear to pull it up just yet.

Leaves in the stream

vine in the trees

I took these a few weeks ago when Rich took the boys out into the woods to collect fire wood.

He is blessed with a fine crew of sons.

It’s no wonder I’m always making cookies to fill these hard working stomachs.

Oh that reminds me. On Saturday Rich was gone at Jacob’s football game and I had a hair appointment so Grace and Ethan were watching the little ones for us. When I was in the chair my phone rang and it was David, wanting to know if he could make cookies. He is eleven and has some experience with baking so I said “yes”.

When I arrived back home, I was greeted with the sight of the ugliest cookies I’ve ever seen. They were caramel colored, spread out over the entire cookie sheet, and glued to the pan. There were three pans of them, a big, deserted bowl of dough, and no one around in the kitchen. Poor David! He did perfectly fine except for the fact that he put powdered sugar in the dough instead of flour. These particular chocolate chip cookies were made with three kinds of sugar only, and no flour whatsoever. It took a long time to get them off the pan. They practically WERE caramel.

I made some on Monday with Seth. I love making cookies and have perfected chocolate chip, if I may say so.

I share my tips:

the recipe off the bag of chips

pure butter; no shortening ever

an extra teaspoon of vanilla

plenty of extra flour to make a softly stiff dough (I added two and a half more cups for a double batch on M. but it was a rainy day)

add only half the amount of chips called for in recipe; I always double the recipe and add just one bag of chips

no cookie scoop, chocolate chip cookies that are all the exact same shape and size are boring (just like people)

I always enjoy eating raw dough and give spoonfuls out to the children, too, raw eggs be darned!

bake ONLY until very slightly brown around the edges, take them out when still half done and leave them on the tray for about five minutes, (they will continue baking) then remove to cooling racks.

this is the way to chocolate chip cookie perfection; tender, soft and not too sweet

Ahead of me is an entire day of staying at home. Later on this evening I will go out to gather up the older children from school, but for now I can putter around in my pajamas, care for my little ones and do some home-making. I have a big pork roast in the fridge to figure out for dinner and perhaps I will make more cookies, since the ones I made on Monday are gone.
“Only the heart, with love afire,
can satisfy the soul’s desire.”

~James Terry White

quote

Posted on October 9, 2013 by Shanda

“If dependence on God is the objective
weakness is the advantage.”

Alistair Begg

grace and praise

Posted on October 8, 2013 by Shanda

I wonder, this morning, if anxiety is in the air I breathe. Does it enter into my lungs from the air and spread to my heart, mind, and soul like an unwanted illness? Last night in bed, as the tears silently rolled down my face in the dark, I started to pray, “Lord, WHY did you make me this way?!?”

and His words:

“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God: ‘Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LIKE THIS?'” Romans 9:20

And I breathe again.

I think of the song we sang in church on Sunday about breathing in His grace.

Breathing in His grace and breathing OUT His praise.

I thank Him. I thank Him for making me the way He did.

I have the fatness of a beautiful life all around me, a spacious home, perfectly wonderful children, a devoted husband, Jesus in my heart, so what’s a little anxiety thrown into the mix?

Truly, It keeps me humble, weak, and leaning on the Lord’s strength.

“Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And he has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

At small moments, I even find myself accepting the fact that in my life I will most certainly struggle, at times, with the burden of anxiety, and it is okay and I can rest in Christ. I do what I can do for myself and leave the rest to my loving Father.

What I do: Helps for the Anxious One

I go about my days the way they are supposed to be run, even though on the inside I want to curl up in bed. This means the laundry gets done and the meals get made. Cookies, even!

I read books to the children. Reading out loud shuts up the negative voice in my head.

I take a very low-dose anti depressant (doctor’s orders), vitamins, and drink plenty of water.

Listen to music. Dance. Sing. Whistle.

Read Scriptures, read my favorite books.

Enjoy my husband and children.

(breathing in His grace, and out His praise.)

I share my inner struggles at appropriate times ONLY. This means I will “act okay” to the majority of people around me and I give myself permission to do this; yes, and be “less than genuine”. (I hate insincerity but have come to understand that it would do more harm than good to overshare in very personal issues.)

Remind myself that it will pass, as it surely will, I know from experience.

A confession: I use this blog as an outlet for my inner being. I’ve been blogging for years now and have found that after a good soul-cleansing post like this I actually feel lighter and freer. The burden is lifted for a time, as I allow myself to share here. Also, walking around with my camera is therapeutic, as it focuses my eyes on the good things around me. I love photography for this reason. And I love to share my pictures here.

***

All spring and summer long, we have had workers here, building a room onto our house. The new addition is a dining room/office/fireplace and pantry. Now that it is almost completed, I have been hunting for a few pieces of furniture, rugs, and curtains. This weekend Rich and I found this perfect cupboard at a shop downtown. I LOVE IT, because it’s country primitive.

But little Sarah loves it because…….she can get away from her crazy family!

She takes her pillow, blankie, and a kitty and gets right in. Unfortunately she can’t shut the door herself so we are constantly answering her request to shut the cupboard.

snapshots from around the house….Seth and his toys….

…Caleb and his current favorite book. He has read both Powerless and Super over the last week. Both books were written by Matthew Cody. Caleb is now currently reading Powerless out loud to me, which touches my heart because it was all his idea.

This is an iphone picture of the pan of brownies I made on Friday. On a whim, I used the leftover decorator frosting from Dave’s birthday and wrote Ethan’s name on top. He was honored with the privilege of taking the first piece. Rich and I thought it was too cute that he took the “E”.

(iphone picture) Seth was sick all day on Saturday with a high fever and stomach upset. Rich took the time to take a nap with the sickie…the toes are what made me grab the camera. Just too precious.

Grace spent Sunday afternoon at Erinn’s house. I took this picture at about 9pm, when she was brought back home. Such pretty girls.

I wrote on my hand and then Seth asked me to write on his.

Books we have been reading every day.

It was a gloomy weekend and a lot of the leaves have fallen down. The weather definitely contributed to my own gloomy feelings.

(iphone pic) Rich and I had the joy of taking all the kids out to dinner last night. When I’m feeling blue I never want to be away from the children, so when Rich offered to take me out I begged him to take us all. It was a great time. I even sat on the other side of the table next to big kids and let Rich care for the littles (picking up dropped crayons, etc).

***

It has taken me hours to write this, as I keep going off to take care of things, answer phone calls, give baths, etc…..it has been a pleasure to sneak away now and then to work on blogging. Have a wonderful day, my friends!

“The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it” 1 Thessalonians 5:24

“Your own completeness is only realized in Him.” Colossians 2:10

{this moment}

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Shanda

A Friday ritual.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soulemama

our seth

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Shanda

when we were very young

***

He loves his soft blanket.

And sleeps with a favorite Bear.

(When he was a baby he called it a “beer”).

He makes up love songs about mommy.

(He says he wants Jesus AND mommy in his heart.)

He calls for bread and butter at night when he can’t fall asleep, and don’t tell his Dad, but I oftentimes sneak him up a slice.

(you see? food is the way to a man’s stomach, line four.)

When I read out loud, he snuggles in close.

He cries on the way to Bible study because he already misses me.

At four years old, he is still quite a big baby.

BUT. HOWEVER.

HE IS ALSO A REALLY SCARY NINJA!

*you’re scared, aren’t you?*

Beware! He can only be tamed by food, mommy, soft blankies, and a beer. I meant, a bear.

glorious colors of fall

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Shanda

a simply lovely life

Hello, my friends. I hope and pray that you are having a good day so far and that you sense that God is near to you, as He truly is. He loves His children so very much and is delighted with the ins and outs of what makes each one of us uniquely His creation. He knows every detail and desire of our heart. It is amazing to me that we can go to our Father with anything, any struggle, any longing, and He will listen and answer in the very best way that we need. I can trust Him with my life, and the lives of all my loved ones. There is so much security and contentment in His care.

I was outside this morning for a little while with Seth and Sarah. I took a blanket and my Bible study lessons out with me and watched the children play as I made a few phone calls. I sat under a tree that was nothing but red leaves. The sky is clear and blue today, and the sun was shining brilliantly through those leaves, making them looking like little stained glass windows from nature. We didn’t last long outside. Seth and Sarah were on the see-saw and Seth got off his end, causing Sarah to slam down on the ground. She was very upset, and wet, too, from playing in the pond, so we went back inside. I dried her off and gave her and Seth each a plate with grapes and graham crackers. I turned on one of their little shows and took a few minutes to myself. I went outside with my camera and back down to that beautiful red tree………

I thank you God
for this amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of the trees,
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything that is natural,
which is infinite,
which is yes.

ee cummings