I wanted to say HI, and also, I forgot to add this picture to my last post.  My Davy (who is one of the BEST boys EVER!), my Seth (who is ADORABLY cute AND smart, too!) and my babykins Sarah JOY (she’s starting to climb things!)

This morning I was INTERESTED in life!  I praised God!  I had to take the dog to his house and I was noticing the world around me; frost on everything, the ground frozen stiff, ice puddles for the kids to happily slide on, tiny pinecones in the trees, the cold rushing stream (love that sound).   And I thought, “Wait, I’m thinking about nature with a clear mind, not a dark gloomy mind!  Then, I prayed and thanked the Lord as I continued walking around the pond, to the house.

In the last few months, I’ve been to doctors, several of them (and, more than once).  I have depression and am on medicine now, but it’s taking a while to get it just right (frustrating at times).  Also, I have a Vitamin D deficiency and am taking extra supplement to boost my levels.  I have hope that each day will become BRIGHTER.

We went to church on Sunday and after hearing the sermon, I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus, and how he treated people when He was on earth those many years ago.  He was full of compassion, and love.  He sought sinners, and forgave them, healed them, and had a personal relationship with them.  The Pharisees were always ready to JUDGE and CAST STONES.  They thought they were righteous and good, but they weren’t.  They were mean and scary.  The harshest words Jesus spoke was against them.

I want to be like Jesus, but am sometimes more like the Pharisee, especially with my own husband and children.  Lord, forgive me!  I don’t want to be mean and scary, ever!

Instead of throwing stones, let’s spread love and mercy.  Instead of thinking about what to get from others, let’s think about what we can give.  Instead of being ready with a correction or a reprimand, let’s be long-suffering, forgive and show grace.  As believers, it’s a temptation to become over-righteous, but let’s never forget that we are all simply sinners, saved by grace.  Everything good comes from Him, everything! 

“We love because He first loved us.”

Have a wonderful day, friends!  You are LOVED and so special!

*good boys*

*no room to spare*

*big sky at the Christmas farm*

*it’s a tree, but it’s way too wee*

*riding on the tree sled*

*Ethan cut down the tree*

*is he really old enough for this?!*

*Papa, teasing*

*the best tree ever!*

*memories*

*it was cold outside, but nice and sunny*

*another Christmas together*

*with little ones at our feet who need us*

*joy*

*happy chaos*

*kitchen chairs are so useful*

*baby under the weather*

*their favorite branch*

*Caleb, hard at work making the tree beautiful*

*Cat, you must admire the tree*

*hi*

*Jesus warms my heart*

*oink*oink*

*Grace even decorated the family pets*

*pretty*

*love*

 *her mama’s big doll baby*

*a quick family photo after church*

Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind;
Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.

~ Helen Steiner Rice

I took these pictures this morning.  We had a loud rain/thunder/wind storm last night, with snow at the end for good measure.  It was such a blessing to see the sun come out (this was about 7am).  It’s cloudy and cool today, the sun goes in and out from the clouds.  I was going to go walking with Seth but decided the wind and fickle sunshine would keep us indoors today.

I hate to admit, but I am continuing to suffer/struggle here with negative emotions/thoughts.  It’s been so hard.  Couldn’t sleep last night.  Today I am trying to focus on keeping a pleasant face and voice for the children; and no complaining words, or deep sighing. 

When I feel hopeless; I know there is hope in Christ.

When I feel so sad; I know that my joy comes from Him.

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.  Deuteronomy 33:27

And He said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee:  for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake:  for when I am weak, then am I strong.  2 Corinthians 12:10

Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.  Matthew 6:34

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father in Heaven give good things to them that ask Him?  Matthew 7:11

Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.  Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give thee the desires of your heart.  Commit  your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.

God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in my struggles. 

When my soul fainted within me I remembered the Lord.  Jonah 2:7

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  Galatians 6:9

That He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man.  Ephesians 3:16

One more thanksgiving family post! 

On Friday, Rich and I drove to my childhood home, the place that is IN MY BLOOD and MIND, the smells, the sights, the land, are all so precious to me.  How thankful I am that it is a place I can still return to.  Only a handful of hours away and I can be there.  Mom and Dad are who truly make it home……..

We walked into a feast in the makings.  Mom had a big lunch prepared; roast beef with onions (from the garden), homemade rolls, beets from the garden,  corn from the garden,  pickles made from *cucumbers from the garden*, creamy mashed potatoes (also, from the garden).  Truly, a harvest worth praising God for!  And all so wonderfully prepared.  We ate and ate and then went outdoors to play/run/walk it off.

Agent Orange, cat of the place, watched. 

The men/boys played football, not a game, but catching and kicking to each other.  It is a quiet, country road with practically no traffic, so they could spread out with enough room to play.

They all love football. Actually, let me mention….that they were all wanting to play, but couldn’t find a ball.  When my brother Dave called to say he was coming up, I asked him if he had a football (he didn’t), and he surprised us by stopping on the way to buy a new one, and a pump, and a soccer ball for the little boys!  So kind of him.

Rich

Dear Dad

Watching the ball.   Sometimes it was next to impossible to know where it would end up being kicked, Rich’s goal was executing a powerful kick (with accuracy of secondary importance).

Dad, kicking the ball (not seen, but truly, it was there, up and away, flying)……..

Big Jake

Little Sethers

Brother Isaac, petting the cherished, very old, family dog BRUTUS.

Dad, getting ready for Ethan’s throw.

The hat.is so cute.

Good ol’ E.

Seth’s first kick!

Uncle Dave (the gift bringer) also gave the boys each a keychain from his recent trip to Greece.  Ethan wanted a few rocks and Uncle Dave brought him back some. The girls got pretty bracelets.  His wife’s family is from Greece and they went on a trip of a lifetime to meet Aunts, Uncles, and cousins.  Dave showed me some amazing pictures…..I’ll have to try to blog some of them, if they agree! 

Caleb was stuck to Uncle Dave the whole time, and wanted him to come home with us.

***********************

It’s raining here today.  I took Grace to the doctors this morning and she’s home with me today.  We’re hoping she’s all better by tomorrow, but it’s sure nice to have her cozied up on the other end of the couch with me.  We have a fire going in the wood pellet stove.  I could snuggle here all day.  However, Seth is currently as busy as ever, getting into stuff in the kitchen.  He keeps telling me that he wants to make cupcakes and he’s probably going to try to make them all by himself so I guess I better go tend to him.  (but, as I already told him five times, we’re not making cupcakes today, there are still muffins left from yesterday’s baking!)

(hugs)

Shanda

PS, Beverly:  I received your gift.  I LOVE IT.  Please, if you see this, send me your address again because I could not decipher it from the package. 

Cinnamon:  I got your lovely letter (you have beautiful handwriting!) and I hope to write you back soon.  Thank you so much, especially for those beautiful Scriptures you wrote out. 

PSS, Seth wasn’t making cupcakes.  He was dishing out a bowl of ice cream for himself.  He’s now sitting by the fire eating it.  What a boy!

She’s loved Jesus for a long long time.  His love shines through her eyes and in her gentle smile.

94 years old.

Sarah is the baby named after her and she eagerly brought out baby pictures to see if there was a resemblance in the two of them. (there is!)

Rich had a fine time, looking through old family photo albums.

She held Sarah’s feet in her still-lovely hands.

From her chair, she meets and greets, smiles, talks, listens, and reads books to anyone who comes near.

Her house is warm and familiar, it’s quiet and slow paced. 

She has many grandchildren, many great grandchildren, and she loves and prays for them all.

Grandma always made you feel
 she had been waiting to see just you all day
 and now the day was complete.  ~Marcy DeMaree

She and Grace share a name, too.  They both have the middle name of Lillian (in fact, Grandma is known as Lillian, she goes by her middle name).

Davy went outside to explore every chance he got.  One time I went outside to check on him and he had found an old rusty horseshoe. Another time, he was up on the deck railing, spinning the clothesline around and around.

There were so many things he wanted to talk about with his Great Grandma, but sometimes she could not hear what he was saying.  I became the trumpeting voice of “translation”.

Jacob and Ethan weren’t able to see Grandma this time because they were visiting their other grandparents.

She is Rich’s Dad’s Mom.  Her prayers and influence have been a huge part of Rich’s growth as a man, and as Christian.  She’s been a wonderful light for both of us through the years.  How we love this lady.

Her fortitude is amazing; she’s had bone cancer for about 2 years.  During our entire visit there wasn’t a word about it, or a complaint.  She was just so happy to see us.  It had been too long between visits but we hope to get back to her place again in the next month or so, for Christmas. 

Can a sister also be an angel?

I don’t know….but the fact is,  my sister has been a blessing of immense proportions to me, always, but especially in the last week.

When I thought I was going out of my mind with anxiety and despair, she came to my house and never left me alone.  When I went to the ER with a panic attack/rapid heartbeat (on advice from my doctor), she came and did not leave my side until 11:30 at night, when Rich finally arrived back from a business trip out west.

She held my hand, she snuggled with me on the couch as we watched cooking shows, she let me lean on her for advice when I couldn’t think straight, she talked to me and somehow even made me laugh and change into *pretty clothes*. 

Big round of applause for SISTERS! Thank you, Amanda, for your love and support.  You are my angel. 

(She baked cookies and brownies and took extra good care of my children, too!)

And thanks, Jason, for helping to free your wife, so she could come stay with me.

I love you guys!

“Worry weighs a person down, but an encouraging word cheers a person up.”  Proverbs 12:25

So.  Family.  Wow…..being with them, in the midst of them…MY OWN family, was like

a warm blanket

therapy

rest

comfort

a cup of tea

BLISS.

There were several times in the week leading up to Thanksgiving when Rich and I thought we would not make it, because of my fragile state of mind (um. never ending tears?) but praise God He gave me the strength to put my children (who would have been so sad if we cancelled) and family FIRST, and go.  GO. 

We met at a beautiful, huge, hotel, by a lake.  After eating a delicious buffet dinner (in a big, airy room with lots of windows and natural light and views of the lake) we went outside for some pictures and a little walk.

This is Makayla Lynn, my adorable little niece (who has the same middle name as me!)  She turned five on Thanksgiving day.  She’s so beautiful and a joy.

This is her lovely Mama, my sister in love~ Melissa:

My wonderful brother Nathan, and Melissa.  They’ve been married for 6 years and are doing so well raising their children in the Lord.  Thanks for calling me that day, Nate, it was so encouraging.  Love you. 

This is their son, my little nephew Gregory (named for my Dad)

And Amanda’s little Naomi Isabella, who was a very willing model for her Aunt Shanda.

We were by *a lake* and of course the BOYS all got as close to it as possible.

My little Davy came up to me in the midst of the family gathering  and said,

“MOM?  Don’t look down.”

But, I did.

We were facing the lake in this picture and you can see the hotel behind us.   I thought it was so typical of the men to somehow have footballs on hand for a little game on Thanksgiving day.  There was such a nice family atmosphere everywhere.

Siblings, Shanda*Isaac*Amanda*Nathan (missing:  dear David, who was sick) 

My Mama, and Miss Grace……

Mom, Thank you for all your loving calls to check on me, and to talk to me.   You’re the best mama a girl could have. 

And, the last picture taking on this special Thanksgiving day was of my precious Dad, hugging his girlies.

I LOVE YOU, Dad!  Thank you for being a prayer warrior, father, and friend.

After our dinner and visit, we all parted ways, but happily Jacob and Ethan were able to go home with my Mom and Dad to spend the night and make some memories with their grandparents and Uncle Isaac.

Rich and I took the remaining 5 children to a hotel for the night, we had two adjoining rooms and we put all five kids in one so the two of us could be ALONE in a QUIET room.  So, it worked out very nicely.

The next day, we went to visit one of our most cherished family members.

Tomorrow I will share the pictures from that time.

THANK YOU FRIENDS for praying for me as I have been recovering from depression and severe anxiety.  Today was the first day in a very long time, that I didn’t cry, not even once, didn’t even choke up.

PRAISE GOD!

(((hugs)))

We drove to Cooperstown, to enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner buffet with my family at a big, beautiful hotel.  We were all together except for my dear brother Dave (who was sick) and his wife.  After a wonderful meal, we went outside for a couple of family portraits.  I’m so thankful for the blessing of family. 

More photos to come, soon!

The day began.

I heard noises coming from the kitchen; I remained, lazy, in my bed for half an hour longer.

Up at six.

Good morning, children! 

“I woke up late” says Grace.

“I had to go wake her up,” says E.

“In my sleep I forgot all about school and when I woke up I thought, ‘What in the world is he doing in here at this time of day!” said Grace.

I thought it was quite responsible of E to wake his sister.

I fixed Grace’s hair for her.  She simply does not care what her hair looks like.  I give her another year or so, or maybe she won’t be the type of girl that spends a lot of time in front of the mirror?  Time will tell, for now she is not, not at all.  Mama still helps.  She sure cleans up nice, though.  Pretty girl.  “Would you like a pony or a braid today?” I asked.  “A PONY!” she answered, and she didn’t mean the hair style, either. 

The day began.

We got to see the sun rise! 

By and by, I managed to get five children out the door for school.  Lunches,  homework, and all.

Seth and I made cupcakes.  He insisted, then he and Sarah both ate two (after a proper breakfast, that is).

I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.  I regretted the days I brought STUFF into the house.  We have too much, too too much.  I want to give a lot of stuff away; donate books (?, yes, books!) clothes, toys, and throw away junk.  I’ve been in this spirit for days (I threw away my bread machine that I’ve had for 14 years, I haven’t used it for about 10)…..why hang on to old stuff?  It just clutters my life and gives me more to clean up. 

As our daily habits dictate, Seth and Sarah and I went outside for a lot of the morning.  I do this with an ulterior motive, mothers everywhere can guess; it tires the children out and makes them SLEEP better, at naptime.  Hee hee.

We began our adventures by photographing a few hideous chickens.

She begged me, with her eyes, not to notice her in this state.

As you see, she is molting. 

It is a depressing occurrence in her life; she doesn’t even have the spunk to lay her daily egg.

Feathers are everywhere, just not *where they are supposed to be*.

Not all the girls are in such a state, this yellow (is it Margaret?  Or Fluffy?  Only my children know.) is still lovely.  Then why, I ask, is she also not laying HER daily egg?  No one’s laying eggs for me.  I had to purchase two dozen this week!

Sarah’s silly face.  I took her picture and then she wanted to see it.  She knew it would be silly.

We saw an old bird’s nest in the (now bare) bushes by the house, so we explored a little.

Seth happened to dress in the same color as the pretty red bush outside.

As all good explorers do, we also made a discovery.  These berries were growing on a vine, I have never seen these before.  It almost looks like a yellow coat peels up and off the red berry.  It’s an interesting wild plant that makes me wish again for a New England berry identification guide.

This is the nest we saw.  Comfy looking, isn’t it?

Hope you’re having a wonderful day, friends.

((hugs))