in my heart there rings a melody

Posted on September 8, 2016 by Shanda

(grandpa’s old barn)

The north wind brings forth rain,
and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Like cold water to a thirsty soul,
so is good news from a far country.

Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.

It is not good to eat too much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory.

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Proverbs 25:23-28

Good morning, friends, how in the world are you?

Imagine! God’s many numerous good things are all around us, oh to have the eyes to see them, really see them! Even on the “down” days we are going UP UP UP, on our way to glory land. Eternal life is NOW, it starts now, never to end……..as believers we have so much hope, it’s hard sometimes to keep our minds focused on the wonderful promises of God, but nevertheless they are there in the Bible, they are real and never changing. Isn’t it incredible to have security in an unchanging Father? He always loves us, always cares for us, always holds us in his mighty hands.

My parents have a nice pumpkin patch, we all visited it and “blessed the pumpkins” by giving them a nice pat, you can’t help but want to touch them because they have very smooth looking skins. I especially love the photo of son David using one as a pillow.

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From a distance, the pumpkin patch. My prediction is that it will be even bigger next year.

Back at home now, Gentleman Gray is wondering where his friend Snickers is. Snickers has been missing for a week and we are all beginning to worry. They keep coming to me and asking about him, but so far there is no news, no letter, no message, no sign.

*sigh* I hate losing cats. My guess is that the smell of skunk was too much for him.

Speaking of which, the house is smelling much better. What a relief. (Now if the dryer would stop screeching….) Parker the dog is still smelly so he spends most of his day outdoors in the fresh air.

The garden is still producing tomatoes and my favorite way to eat them…….

……is generously placed on toasted & buttered Pepperidge Farm white bread, with salt and pepper (more pepper than salt). Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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I also made a banana bread. (Grace’s favorite, turns out Michael likes it, too).

“I can see you!” I remarked to the amusing Grasshopper. He shifted and twitched. Being upside down is not a safe place to be if your legs are your number one escape mechanism.

Ah much better.

I looked & looked without touching and he never did jump away. I think he liked me, too, but most likely he was scared out of his wits.

These are a most wondrous scented wild flower.

I looked it up in my wildflowers book: nothing.
I looked it up online by googling CT wildflowers, yellow: nothing
I looked it up again online, using the name of what I thought it was, “morning primrose”: found it!

Its common names are: Evening Primrose (I was close), Evening Star, or Sundrop.

Wikipedia has a very interesting article about it here.

delightful. You can smell them before you even get close to them.

And then I decided to pick a pink bouquet.

“It isn’t what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart.” ~ Author Unknown

My heart.

Seth is holding the “tough guy ball” which looks JUST like a coffee bean, and is rewarded to a player after every practice. The player takes it home for the night and then returns it at the next practice.

Look how handsome he is. I tie his string and buckle his buckles and then bend down to double knot his cleats. He looks around as I fuss, ignoring me as I adoringly serve him. It is an honor for us both but only I am conscious of it.

We arrived at the field’s parking lot for practice and as he briskly took his helmet out of the back of the car, I closed the truck and turned to him to say goodbye, “Have a nice practice, Seth! Give me a kiss.” (the test–to see if he would kiss me in front of his friends, I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t. In fact, I was sure he would wouldn’t.)

Without hesitation, he came over close and gave me a quick, distracted kiss on the arm. (lip height). Like of course it was the most natural thing in the world to kiss mama before running off to football practice.

My heart.

**********

I have a song that Jesus gave me,
It was sent from heav’n above;
There never was a sweeter melody,
‘Tis a melody of love.

In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody with heaven’s harmony;
In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody of love.

~Elton Menno Roth~

a skunk tale

Posted on August 30, 2016 by Shanda

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(9 years ago)

Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of God
no matter what the conflict.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, home again. And I worked like a machine yesterday getting this house on the pathway to order and cleanliness so I’m going luxuriate in a morning of blogging (a ridiculous word of which my definition would be: play with pictures, put my thoughts in order, type, enjoy the sound of the keys clacking whilst three cats sleep on the bed at my feet and the cool morning sun shines through the curtains).

My children have beautiful souls.

I took these photos on Thursday, right before we left to take Ethan to college (three hours away). Jacob wasn’t able to go with us and had to say goodbye to his faithful sidekick of eighteen years. They are brothers in every sense of the word.

And look who was at his boys’ feet. Another faithful friend.

Speaking of which, when we were gone the dog Parker fulfilled a lifelong dream; he killed an animal. We all know this was a dream of his because he has had to make do by busily “killing” the children’s stuffed animals all these years.

This summer, not only have I had to spend time with the smells of six boys, but also a stinkier than normal skunk. This skunk sprayed Parker about a month ago and Parker has vowed revenge ever since.

Well, the skunk would periodically wake us all up out of a sound sleep in the very early morning hours. The smell, like the gray of the morning, was everywhere and very depressing. We cursed the skunk. Little did we know, Parker had a secret plan (secret, only because he cannot talk). If he could talk he would say, “No worries, family, I have a plan.”

And it came to pass, while Rich and I were away with five of our children and crying over leaving a sixth at school, that we were notified by the seventh that “Parker destroyed the skunk.”

We were elated and I was determined to bring our good dog home a treat.

UNFORTUNATELY……..

Even though three healthy and strong young men (Jacob, Michael P. and Ethan S.) knew of this “destroyed” skunk, they all decided to IGNORE it and LEAVE it to fester right by my house…..and as a result, as we pulled into the driveway Sunday evening, our happiness to be home again was shattered as the smell of skunk PLUS rot filled our beings.

How to make a man rage: put him in charge of cleaning up old destroyed skunks.

Rich doesn’t yell at me very often but he did on Sunday night. I was in the garden picking all the ripe tomatoes while he took care of the skunk by making his way to our trashcan with it in a shovel. “Don’t put that in the garbage!” I said. No response. “Don’t put it in the garbage!” Fast walking toward garbage can. I hold my breath. What will he do with it??? He puts it in the garbage. “Rich! Don’t put it in the garbage!”

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH IT THEN????? He yelled, ferociously.

“You have to bury it in the woods!! That trash can will never be the same again if you leave it in there for two days!!!”

So he pushed the can over with all his might (to remove the skunk?) and did what I told him to do.

We didn’t exchange words for the rest of the evening.

My point being…….the entire house was nasty. The smell of skunk had permeated everything. The only thing to do was clean, clean, clean. I had to get rid of the smell.

So, on Monday, not only did I take Caleb to the dentist and go grocery shopping, I also:

hosed down the walkway outside, twice.
washed all the bedding in my room (the window had been open).
washed the couch off with leather cleaner wipes.
Grace washed the stinking dog.
We spent the entire day putting him outside.
He spent the entire day finding a way back inside.
I took all my sewing stuff out of my room and packed it away (which had nothing to do with the skunk…but the smell drove me to do things I hadn’t planned on doing, I was out of my mind).
I hired maids to come on Friday to clean and encouraged Jacob to contribute to the cost.
I made the children clean their rooms with threats.
I put clean sheets and bedding on Ethan’s bed.
I did 1,000 loads of laundry.
I spent hours in the kitchen, making tomato sauce, and a nice dinner (good smells to replace the bad one)
Grace cleaned the bathroom with Pine-Sol “Something smells like A1 sauce” said a small child. (I rejoiced! He didn’t say skunk!)
Every single garbage can was emptied from every room.
We opened every window and turned on every fan for the entire day.

By the end of yesterday I was tired to the bone. Rich and I had made up via texting and we went on a date to Rita’s while Seth and Caleb were at football practice.

All in all, the skunk situation did wonders in channelling my busy mind into thinking of other things besides the fact that my family seems to be shrinking and I made enough meatloaf to feed a small army when I only had 6 mouths to feed (three of which don’t even like meatloaf).

I am reluctantly thankful for the skunk.

*****

Grace is now a senior in High School so here we go again with the heart pulling and tugging. I’m not complaining, mind you. It’s just….so true…that life goes by fast, there is no stopping the merry-go-round. Sometimes it makes one nauseous. But most of the time it’s fun.

She left yesterday afternoon to go with her boyfriend’s family to drop him off at basic training. He is going into the Coast Guard. She looked so cute as she waited that I did a mini photo-shoot with her on the porch.

I love you, Grace!

And I love all my friends who visit me here.
Happy Tuesday!

Yesterday is ashes, tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire
burn brightly. Live Today!
– Old Eskimo Proverb

just a little walk with caleb.

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Shanda

You may not realize this, but I have a son named Caleb. He is son #4.

I cannot imagine the family without our Caleb. He respects everyone; man, woman, child, and animal. He notices things; beautiful things. He not only holds my hand but it’s all his idea. He is 11 years old and likes to hug and lean against his mama, still, like a much younger child would. He knocks me off balance when he does because he’s such a very strong, solid boy. When he walks we can hear him stomp. When he jumps he lands with a thud. When he laughs the sun comes out. When he sleeps he buries his face in pillows. He tells the truth. He chews his nails off to the quick.

He and Ethan had cleanings this morning at the dentist in town. They both hate the dentist so I had to go along to give the poor babies love and moral support. Caleb had his teeth cleaned first and when he came back I asked him if he would go outside with me to stretch our legs while we waited for E. Even though he was all set to read about football he readily said yes.

I’m thankful for my son Caleb.

He’s a great kid. I can tease him, say no to him, lecture him, or love on him and he never complains. This summer he has listened to JR Tolkien audio books every night and he is currently reading several books, including The Hobbit. He goes to football practice every afternoon and during the day he plays with his siblings. He loves to play video games. He likes his things to be neat and organized and gets very upset when his siblings disturb his legos. He sneezes a lot so I give him Zyrtec in the morning and that helps. I think his favorite color is green. Sometimes when he is silly he makes a “buck-hack” sound like a chicken, which is super annoying. Seth does it now, too. Caleb is always asking to have friends over. He absolutely loves the family dog; Parker gets a lot of attention from his boy Caleb.

“YOU’VE MADE THIS DAY SPECIAL
JUST BY BEING YOU.
THERE’S NO ONE IN THE WORLD
QUITE LIKE YOU, AND
I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.”

We discovered a nice stream by the dentist office. It was shady under the trees and the water was warm. We studied the sumac plant (first pic), admired a tall mushroom, sank our feet in soft moss, and showed each other our best jumping skills.

It was much better than sitting in a waiting room.

a little bit of this a little bit of that

Posted on August 5, 2016 by Shanda

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I made my way to the kitchen in order to make that first cup of coffee. Sarah was on the couch in the living room and the boys were still asleep.

Our nineteen year old son Jacob had left in the wee hours of the morning to go on a road trip and as I poured Sarah’s drink of milk I was touched to see that he had left me a note. It was on the other side of the counter so I had to reach across to pull it toward me, turning it right-side-up in order to read it.

What was it going to say? Perhaps; “I’ll miss you, dearest mother”?, or, “Don’t worry, I will drive safely, God is with me.”? how about, “Give my siblings a hug and kiss for me when they wake up, I’ll miss them!” ? or “I did the laundry before I left” ?

I was so surprised when I read it that I just had to laugh!

What sort of 19 year old leaves notes of remorse about finishing up FOOD?

And that “I love you” tacked on the end. Even his name made me smile! “Jake” not Jacob, but “Jake”. My little Jake, not so little…..but still as sweet as ever.

Does he not know, has he not heard? Mothers want the children to eat ALL the ham salad! Mothers eat lots of ham salad only if they have a sneaking suspicion that the children don’t like it and it will go to waste!

His mother would gladly give him ALLLLLLLL the ham salad!!!!!!!!

The note should have said, “I’m sorry I left the empty ham salad container and little bits of it on the counter for YOU to clean up instead of throwing it away myself!” Am I right? No, maybe not. I saw more of his priceless self and heart in his own quickly written, 3 o’clock in the morning, sincere, paper-towel written love letter than anything else he could have written.

(((my heart))) just never knows what God will give it each day…that little unexpected boost to brighten the moments. So many each day that I lose track. My heart gives grateful praise. A ham salad note. I can’t even……what next? I can’t wait to see.

****

A song for Friday:

****

truths to make your heart sing:

“So, we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:16, The Message translation

****

Strength for today is mine all the way,
And all I need for tomorrow.
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do, is follow.
~Sidney E. Cox, 1950, (from the baptist hymnal)

**Have a very blessed Friday, you are loved!**

we ate a snake

Posted on July 9, 2016 by Shanda

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2005 was an eventful year for our family because that was the year I gave birth to offspring number five; a beautiful little son whom we named Caleb James. Oh how we loved having babies and those sweet days of holding a newborn in our arms.

Caleb been so excited about his birthday (for months) and we were very pleased//relieved that we were able to celebrate it the way he wished; with some of his favorite friends. They had a nerf gun fight, went for a walk, played football, went swimming, and played video games.

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Caleb has the best mother in the world, if I do say so myself, because I made him a homemade snake cake today even though I was exhausted, worried and grumpy (de-stressing from Sarah’s surgery).

Or, even more likely, this is God’s perfect timing because He knew that nothing would cheer me up more than making a snake cake for one of the best boys I know. It turned out so well I just had to smile………smile at a cute snake.

It’s body was made out of a sour cream chocolate cake, baked it in a bundt pan. After it cooled, I cut it in half and turned one half to the edge of the other half to make an “S”.

Then I gave it a skin of homemade butter cream frosting, dyed green.

The yellow spots are m-n-ms and skittles, which was a nice surprise for the kids as they never knew which one they would eat next.

The eyes were made with one marshmallow, cut in half and striped with a toothpick dipped in black food coloring (the book said to buy a tube of black frosting but this worked).

Mr. Snake’s tongue was made with a fruit-by-the-foot, trimmed at the end to be forked.

We had to call the boys up out of the pond in order to have the cake, which is why Caleb has a towel around his waist. (summertime birthdays are the best.)

As an ode to the good ol’ days, I scattered some of Caleb’s beloved Thomas the tank Engine trains down the table as decoration. All the boys had fun picking them up with their forks attaching to the trains’ magnetic ends.

I served out the cake and Rich served out the ice cream.

Happy Birthday, Caleb!

*****

PS, Sarah is continuing to do very well, although I had some cause for worry this morning. After I talked to the doctor, had a good cry, and baked a cake I felt better. (She was never worried in the least). She’s happy.

ethan’s graduation party pictures

Posted on June 28, 2016 by Shanda

Ethan with his dog and his girlfriend.

We had a combination graduation party this past Saturday with two of Ethan’s best friends. It worked out very nicely. The other moms helped out so much and it felt good to do a party that our boys wanted. We supplied plenty of food and drinks and the teenagers spent time together (all day and all night).

We held the party at my house and opened up the garage to serve the food. We had a pig roast with pulled pork and hamburgers and hot dogs.

This is a photo of most of the teen boys who were at the party. People sat outside on the patio and porch to eat their lunch. My friend Kathy and I sat on a blanket in the shade with our girls.

We kept all the desserts inside the house in our air conditioned dining room. (It was a hot day!) There was strawberry cheese cake, cookies (on a fiesta three tiered tray!!), homemade pie, brownies, and chocolate chip bars.

We also had special a cake for these fine young High School men. The guests of honor: Ethan, Zachary, and Caleb.

Ethan will be going away to college (more about that on another day), Zach will be attending a college closer to home that he can commute to, and Caleb is going into the Coast Guard. Please pray for these boys! This stage of life is so exciting and we look forward to seeing what they do in the future.

I took this photo because these boys were leaving to attend TWO more graduation parties!

Zachary’s family helped host the party and did a lot of thoughtful things to make sure it was a good day for the boys. Chris and Caroline are dear friends of ours and are like second parents to Jacob and Ethan.

Caleb’s mom made delicious baked beans, potato salad, and brought decorations, too. As you may know, Grace is dating Caleb and the family has been very welcoming to her. It’s been a joy to get to know them.

Grace (in the middle) with life long friends Tristen and Kaitlyn.

How many teenagers can fit in a canoe?

I took this photo of Zachary’s mom talking with Tristen and Kaitlyn. Tristen actually went to Kindergarten with Zach and Ethan and also graduated from High School this summer.

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Ethan’s Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) have done so much to encourage him as he grows up. They drove all the way from NY to attend Ethan’s party.

On a hot day it was nice for the kids to be able to cool off in the pond.

I was especially thankful that my friend Kathy came with her kids. We have been friends through these years as we have been busy raising our families and she came right on time to the party and stayed all day long, even helping us with clean up. I love her so much…her presence was like a gift to me on this very busy day!

And we are raising our youngest girls to love each other, too.

Such happy and glorious days to be a mom.

“Let all that I am praise the Lord. I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.” Psalm 146:1

David’s chicken lo mein

Posted on June 14, 2016 by Shanda

David’s food dreams came true a few weeks ago when I made a big batch of chicken lo mein, using a new recipe. I made enough so that there were plenty of leftovers and he was able to freely get a bowl whenever he was hungry. But that was a few weeks ago, and recently the craving for more chicken lo mein started up again.

Last night while Rich and I were at Caleb’s little league game, David called me and asked if he could make *the chicken lo mein that he was craving* and I said “yes”.

Then he called back and said there was no soy sauce. He was hungry so we gave up on that idea and he had soup instead. On the way home from the game I went to the store and bought the soy sauce and three packages of chicken thighs.

We started making the recipe at around 10:00 this morning. He cut up the chicken. I cut up the veggies. He made the sauce, I stir-fried the chicken. It was a fun recipe to accomplish with a partner.

Soon it was complete, and David filled up a yellow fiesta bowl with the steamy goodness.

He took a photo of his food for his instagram account.

And I took pictures for my blog.

(we have a lot in common)

After it was posted, he took a bite and said he was in heaven.

“Thank you for helping me make this, Mom,” he said.

His siblings asked for seconds.

And I enjoyed a bowl of it outside on the porch.

David and I enjoy each other’s company by making food in the kitchen. (yesterday he made funnel cakes). Jacob and I bond while grocery shopping. Grace and I bond while singing. And so it goes. I have seven children and each one has a special way of broadening my world. We can spend time together doing what they like to do best and it’s never forced. We don’t have to try hard to spend time together, we just do what we would do normally…..together.

Chicken Lo Mein

2 boxes angel hair pasta
2 Tablespoons sesame oil
2/3 cup chicken broth
2/3 cup soy sauce (low sodium)
1 T. cornstarch
1/4 tsp. pepper
2-4 T. vegetable oil
4 cloves garlic, pressed
12 chicken breast halves, boneless, skinless, and cut into thin strips (we prefer thighs)
5 cups thinly shredded cabbage
4 carrots, coarsely shredded
3 cups sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 cup chopped broccoli
1 medium onion, chopped

Cook pasta according to package directions. Transfer pasta to a large bowl; add sesame oil and toss until coated. In a small bowl, stir together the broth, soy sauce, cornstarch, and pepper; set aside.

In a skillet or wok, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add garlic and stir-fry for 30 seconds.

Add chicken strips and stir-fry about 3 minutes or until no longer pink; remove from wok or skillet and cover to keep warm. (I did the chicken in three batches because the pan wasn’t big enough.)

Add cabbage, carrots, mushrooms, and onions to the wok or skillet and continue to stir-fry another 3 minutes. Add broth mixture to the skillet. Stir-fry, mixing well, for 2 minutes more. Return chicken and garlic to the skillet and heat through. Add to bowl of pasta and toss together.

Serves 12

Recipe source: Saving Dinner, by Leanne Ely (highly recommended cookbook)

my boy and my boy only

Posted on June 13, 2016 by Shanda

Let’s just stare at this one for a few minutes. Can you even???????

I took this one through the window at the school. The graduates were waiting in the cafeteria and all the guests were waiting in line for the doors to open to the gym.

Rich and I sat on the left hand side on bleachers with Caleb, Seth, Sarah, David, Tessa, Emily, Grace, and Jacob. We were thankful to have enough tickets for the whole family to watch Ethan graduate but I doubt the little kids were thankful because it was a long and pretty boring night for them.

Zach is Ethan’s red headed best friend. They were even in the same Kindergarten class.

Caleb is also one of Ethan’s best friends. They were friends for years before he and Grace started dating. He looks pretty serious in picture but then we yelled his name and he smiled.

The young men wore blue robes and the ladies wore white.

*Zach receiving his diploma. (He is attending college this fall).

The graduation began at 7pm and went on for approximately two hours while we were sitting squeezed together on the bleachers. It was kinda funny. Rich was uncomfortable the entire time…too hot and the bleachers were too hard and his hip was hurting and then Sarah got on his lap and the face he made as she explained she had to sit there because she was “too squished” was so funny…….

David and Caleb coped by reading books. Aren’t they so handsome???

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We sat right behind the family of the Valedictorian which was exciting (to me). His speech was very well done.

Caleb receiving his diploma (he is going into the Coast Guard this summer).

Ethan waiting for his turn to get his diploma and my heart was bursting. He wore cowboy boots and decorated his cap with the American Flag. (one of the girls did the very same thing, boots and flag). Very fun.

I stood up with my camera to take pictures while Rich and the kids all cheered as loudly as they could for our E.

This is one of my favorites of the night…Ethan clearly in the middle of the photo leaving the room with a classmate on his arm. The kids were all so happy.

I managed to get through the crowd in my very high horrible heels and found Ethan drinking chocolate milk at the reception.

We got a phone call from the school this morning saying they had Ethan’s class ring in the office (he didn’t even know he had lost it).

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Ethan and Mitch

My daughter Grace with her boyfriend, Caleb.

Ethan with his girlfriend, Tessa.

Jacob and Ethan

Ethan and his Dad

Ethan and his Mom.

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Ethan and all of us.

(Incidentally, earlier that evening while we were still home, Grace got Sarah ready while I was getting ready and we ended up all three matching. The next day the same thing happened, we all three ended up wearing yellow shirts without even planning it.)

Ethan and his little sister, Sarah Joy. Sarah is wearing a dress that used to be Grace’s.

All in all it was a very exciting night. We left as soon as we could. My feet were killing me and Ethan went to a party that the school arranged through “Safe Grad”. He stayed up all night and slept until 11 in the morning the next day.

I didn’t cry or even feel like crying. But I had a headache and was buzzing with emotion regardless. My mind could only hold the essentials; “Ethan” and “Graduation” and “taking photos”. I was so embarrassed because I met a man and his wife in line before the graduation…we introduced each other and everything….by the end of the night I introduced myself to them AGAIN. And the lady said, “Whatever you are drinking, I’ll have some, too.” Which was rather rude but it just goes to show that I was in tune to my boy and my boy only.

****

Today is the first day of summer vacation. It is sunny but oddly windy. Caleb and Seth were invited to a friend’s house for a morning of play. I drove them there and then took the girls with me to the thrift shop where we spent three dollars on an aquarium (for nature studies at home) and a bag of books (for summer reading). Also today: David made homemade funnel cakes fried in oil (Aunt Colleen’s recipe), I made a double batch of blueberry muffins, Jacob and Emily took Sarah for a canoe ride on the pond and they threw bread to the fish. I saw a pair of cardinals and ate three wild strawberries. David had stomach ache by this afternoon so he is taking his second bath (he thinks maybe he ate too many funnel cakes but refused Pepto Bismal). Ethan is at his girlfriend’s house, Grace is at Caleb’s house, Jacob is at work, Emily is also at work, and the three youngest are now watching Zootopia after begging me all day.

Oh my word, I am in my room typing this and I could hear the dog whining at the door to the house but I didn’t think anything of it and guess who just came in, and it’s only 4pm!!!

My husband!!! so happy!

Gotta go. Bye!

blues (a little)

Posted on June 7, 2016 by Shanda

I don’t want to write, because the stuff in my heart will come out through my eyes.

oh, feelings!

My darling, my joy, my pride, my second born, my son, is graduating from high school in four days.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of him, I’m not sad in the least. He is ready, he’s 18 years old and ready to move on to the next chapter in his life.

What I’m grieving is the little boy I used to know. The one who used to pick me flowers and hug me around the waist. The one who was a happy sidekick to his brother Jacob. The one who was busy catching turtles, boiling up the random cray fish, writing funny stories, reading The Series of Unfortunate Events and other books, making rafts, being 100% nature-boy. Dirty bare feet, happy cookie eater, pancake maker, mama’s boy.

Ethan has changed!!!! He is a man, the strong, silent type. When he does speak, I can’t hardly make out what he’s saying because his voice is low and quiet. I say, “What?” and then get it. He’s in love!!!! And his extra attention goes to his girl. I never know what he’s doing unless I outright ask! Sometimes when I think he’s texting his girlfriend, he’s really playing Tiny Tower and that makes me smile, because he recently discovered it again after playing it a lot when he was like, 11. flashbacks!

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He’s 18, of course this is the way it’s supposed to be!! I’m happy for him. He’s a man now and does not need his mama. Rich says, it’s enough for E just to know I am here and proud.

But I miss him.

I have three more younger boys! Who are very similar to how Ethan used to be at that age.

But I miss my E, the way he was as a youngster…..pure goodness, pure sweetness. It went by so fast, I enjoyed every moment, but it went by too fast.

I know he has a lot on his mind, changes ahead that he will be experiencing on his own. He is internalizing a lot these days. But I hope he realizes that he will always be, just a little bit, my own little boy, always. And I vow I’ll be here with the cookies and the pancakes, ’til death do us part.

Ethan took Tessa to his Senior Banquet on Friday and I was able to have some quiet time with them (and the camera). Standing in front of the pond he grew up in.

The natural progression of time……it’s a beautiful thing. Just makes a mama’s heart ache now and then. You know.

He’s so happy with Tessa!

And she’s such a sweet, fun girl. I couldn’t be happier for them both. They make such a good twosome.

*****

With his sister……(Grace went to the banquet with her boyfriend)

Well, once again blogging has surprised me. Writing has surprised me. I’ve got it all sorted out at the moment (my heart, that is).

You’ve got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

You’ve got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

As long as there’s the two of us,
we’ve got the world and all it’s charms.
And when the world is through with us,
we’ve got each other’s arms.

You’ve got to win a little, lose a little,
yes, and always have the blues a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

what excellent parents we are

Posted on June 3, 2016 by Shanda

Last night while Rich was in bed next to me falling asleep, he burst out laughing. What’s so funny?” I demanded, as I tried to read my book. “I was just thinking about Caleb….”and he shook the bed with laughter. Then we argued about who’s fault it was.

Seth had a baseball game that afternoon. Our family has been going back and forth to the little league park so many times over the years that, at this time of year, it almost feels like home away from home. I pull into the parking lot at the field and everyone runs off to their perspective places. There are three games going on at once and lots of parents and kids having fun. There is a food shack with grilled foods and snacks and drinks.

Yesterday, I got there first with Caleb, Seth, and Sarah. Rich came about 45 minutes later and we leaned against the fence talking and laughing as we watched Seth and his team play. At one point, we talked to Caleb because he had come over to us to ask for money. I gave him a five and he came back with a lollipop for Sarah. Meanwhile, I told my husband every detail about my day and he in turn told me all the latest with work. We cheered for our Seth as he batted, played shortstop, and did some pitching. Seth was having a great game. In fact, he ended up getting his third game ball of the season.

Sarah and I had already played with a caterpillar, sticks, stones, and leaves. We had “made a castle” for the caterpillar. I had forced her to drink a water bottle and played with her on my lap in the chair Rich had brought. She did math on a piece of paper and kept asked me questions. I informed her whenever she got a math problem wrong and she would say, “How do YOU know?” like she didn’t believe I had ever gone to school. (she’s never seen me there.) ‘Round about 7:45 we started getting bored and when she said she was getting cold I jumped right on it and said immediately to my husband, “I’m going home with Sarah, she’s cold.” And I left.

Sarah had a snack and then I tucked her into bed. The lawnmower man came to the door to be paid and I wrote him a check. Grace called and needed to be picked up so I passed the message on to Rich so he could get her on the way home. Forty five minutes after I got home they arrived and Grace came through the door full of energy and song and conversation. Seth came in with his game ball and a treat from McDonalds. Jacob and Emily were home, too, and soon the five of us, Rich, Grace, myself, Emily, and Jacob were warming up dinner, talking, teasing, and catching up with each other’s stories. It was 9:00pm and there were about 3 conversations going on all at the same time and lots of action as we all used the fridge and microwave. I made strawberry/banana/pineapple milkshakes for Rich and myself and we drank them out of tall mugs. Grace sat cross legged on the kitchen island and talked about how she wished we could always live together, all of us in one big house. I sent Seth off to go take a shower.

And then……..BOOM…… Caleb burst into the house. “YOU GUYS DITCHED ME!” he exclaimed. All conversation stopped and we all looked at him as tears began forming in his eyes. I started screaming as I realized what had happened. Come to find out, his Dad left him at the park because “I didn’t tell him that I was leaving without Caleb when I took Sarah home.”

After the games were over, people were leaving and Caleb left his friends and wandered all over the place looking for us until he found Noah, who is Seth’s best friend and the son of Seth’s baseball coach. So Noah took Caleb to his Dad, who tried calling and texting us. But we were busy partying in our kitchen and never got the messages. Coach brought Caleb home.

Grace and I ran to our poor poor boy and gave him a long and comforting hug. After all, it was a two hug problem. He started saying, “It’s okay, I’m okay, I’m NOT CRYING!” Emily told him not to feel bad, one time her aunt got left behind in Canada.

Rich was laughing later on that night instead of sleeping because he was wondering how long it would have taken us to notice that Caleb wasn’t home. He had truly believed that I had brought him home with me and I had truly believed that Rich had brought him home with him. I had assumed that Caleb was playing outside instead of coming in the side door with the others. Looking back, I remembered that smart Seth had asked, “Where’s Caleb?” but I had truthfully replied, “I don’t know” because, like I said, I thought he was somewhere around the house, I just hadn’t seen him yet.

I went on and on as much as I could to make Rich feel guilty about forgetting his own son but it didn’t work. After laughing about it in bed, he confessed, “I did tell him I was sorry when I tucked him into bed.” I reached over to rub his back and told him he was a good Dad. “He told me it was okay”, he continued, “he knew it was your fault.” Then the back rub turned into a smack as I told him he was a jerk, “Caleb would never say that!”

And thus ended another day.