“If I go outside my eye feels like it’s burning in oil.
If I go near the chickens, I’m as nervous as a hyperventilating crayfish.
I think I’ve had 6 different kinds of drops in my eyes, don’t you think Mom?
And I’ve had about 5 different people look in my eye.” ~Jacob, age 12
in Jacob’s own words:
“I’m wondering where to start.” (long pause) “Okay. This morning we had just got back from walking the dog to *Mr. Smith’s house and I said to Grace and E, ‘Let’s go and see the chickens.’ So we went in the garage and I opened up the cage to get out Red, because she is my chicken. So. I put Red on my shoulder and she was peeping and looking down at the cage to call down to her friends to come and rescue her. And before I knew it, Red had poked me right in the eye with her beak. Hmmmm. So I put my hand over my eye and said, ‘ow’. And I asked Ethan to get Red and put her back in her cage. And then I went up to the house and told Mom what had happened. An hour passes. Mom tells us to go outside and walk in the woods with the dog. (laughs) To bring back a treasure. So. We went outside to walk in the woods with the dog to bring back a treasure. This is turning out like a Lemony Snicket story. We saw a mallard duck (laughs). When we got back home, my eye was really hurting so Ethan asked me if we wanted to keep playing around the yard or go to the dam but I said, ‘No, I want to go back to the house because my eye is really hurting.’ Um. When I got into the house I told Mom that my eye was really really hurting so she made me lie down on the couch and she looked in my eye and then she called *Dr. Jones to try to get me in for a doctor’s appointment so they could look in my eye. And Mom said that we would be able to go right to the doctor’s office and I was really surprised because it normally takes three or four days to go to the doctor’s office. So. We got to the doctor’s office and waited in the waiting room while Mom signed me up. Then, we got into the doctor’s office and *Dr. Jones came in after Mom had changed Sethie’s diaper in a record time of 2 minutes flat. So *Dr. Jones looked in my eye and he simply could not believe that it was pecked by a chicken. He put in some numbing eye drops and put on this sort of stuff that made my scratch turn orange so he could see where it was. And so it turns out that I have a scratch right across my eye and I cannot to this moment in the day figure out how Red scratched me across the entire eye when I thought she had given me a quick jab. So he said that he was gonna have to call a more professional eye place because he couldn’t tell how deep it was and so he called them and then we left and went home and got lunch and then we got back in the vehicle and drove to David’s school and picked him up. And then we went to the eye doctor in *Crazy Town to see how deep my scratch was. We got there and we waited in the waiting room and then we went into the doctor’s office and they checked out my eye and then they put in some more numbing and the lady who was the doctor was gonna look into my eye with this sort of machine but she couldn’t quite make it out so she had to put some more of the orange stuff in my eye so she could see the scratch better. So then we went back to the machine but she couldn’t get the light to work, it had to be a medium shade of blue. So we ended up having to go in the next room to use that machine. So she checked my eye and then we went back into the room where Mom was and then the doctor told Mom that it wasn’t too deep. And so Mom asked the doctor if it was clean. And I forgot what the Doctor said about that but she did say that it wasn’t as bad as the person who she saw that got hand sanitizer in their eye. Then the doctor told me that she was going to put in some disinfectant drops and then after she put in the disinfectant drops, she had to put in some more drops to dilate my pupils so that she could get a better look. She put in the drops, 2 in my smashed eye and one in my normal eye and said we could go in the waiting room to wait for 20 minutes to wait. So then, after 20 minutes I went back into the hall and a different lady took me to a different machine and looked in my eyes for some reason, I don’t know why. We went into the office and the doctor looked in my eyes and put more numbing in and then we went out and she gave us more drops to put in my eyes if they were feeling irritating or dry and then we set up my next appointment. And then on the way home we got McDonald’s. And then we went to Rite Aid and got some different drops that were to keep my eye from getting infected. And then we got home and we put the drops we got at Rite Aid in my eye and then mom made me tell this entire story and that is what you might call the end. I got to go to the bathroom.” (exits)
*name has been changed to protect the identity of the innocent.

























































