(It’s really not that big of a deal but it’s fun to share and talk about.)
1. The amount of time that passed between dying the roots was getting shorter and I got tired of dealing with it. Tired of buying it, tired of applying it. I’m too interested in doing other delightful things in a day.
2. The EMDR therapy healed my brain to the point where I felt like I didn’t need to look a certain way anymore. I am comfortable in my own skin and no longer have the desire to dye my hair in order to appear younger (which was why I was dying it in the first place). I don’t fear growing older or having my hair “give my age away”. Aging isn’t causing me any anxiety anymore. at least aging hair 😉
3. I have a heart for realness. I felt that my dyed hair wasn’t me. And I wanted my real hair color back. I didn’t feel like my true self anymore. I am highly sensitive to everything, even looking into a mirror and seeing the way my hair looked. To me, my hair started representing more than just “hair”, it was something I could use as a way to feel authentic and real.
4. My sister stopped dying her hair, too. She inspired me. She’s younger than I am.
5. I came to a place where allowing myself to go gray was more of a sign of beauty and confidence than continuing to color it.
6. I go to a church, and a Bible study full of lovely white haired women. Their inner and outer beauty shines and I want to be like them in every way. I’m “joining the club” so to speak.
7. I didn’t like the zing on my scalp after I dyed it. I was never afraid of hair dye poisoning me or what have you, but it did irritate my scalp. This is probably my weakest reason.
8. Basically, it felt right in my soul. As soon as I committed, I had a new interesting joy and zero regret. My DIL Brittnee is tired of me showing her how the gray is growing.
9. My old lady friends said it’s going to take a long time. At first I felt defeated by time, but then I decided to embrace the process. it’s fun to watch it happen, sort of like watching a garden grow. little by little. It’s a beautiful lesson in life, to be patient enough to wait for what you want.
10. Incidentally, a few months ago I met a beautiful lady my age with gray hair. When I admired it she said that when she decided to stop coloring, she went ahead and shaved her entire head. Now her hair is long and thick and as I watched her tell her story I felt myself become truly tempted to emulate her. She said “Girl..you should” and even recommended collagen, but Sarah was already highly disturbed by the idea of her mother “looking like a granny” and the idea of her mother shaven sent her into distress.
This is my own personal journey. I’m not trying to convince anyone or say that a person should be like this. I am a firm believer in “you do you”. And I love the uniqueness of every individual. I admire and enjoy all of humanity. I also believe in “changing your mind”, and while I don’t think I will ever go back to coloring, there’s nothing wrong with trying to go gray and then deciding it’s not for you and start coloring it again. Be confident and smile.