18th for Grace

Posted on November 10, 2017 by Shanda

Beautiful Grace turned 18 on November 4th. Her dear Caleb gave her a lovely piece of jewelry as a gift but she was the most thankful for the gift of time the two of them spent together. They had the whole day together and then met us at Steve & Joanna’s house for dinner and cake.

“I look like I belong,” she said when she saw this photo.

Joanna’s family has welcomed her into the circle.

They were looking forward to meeting Caleb. Now he’s in the circle, too.

Dear Birthday Girl;

Just think—you don’t need a thing, you’ve got it all! All God’s gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.

I Corinthians 1:7-9

yes

Posted on November 8, 2017 by Shanda

It’s Friday, and I pick up my little travel companion from school early. She’s so excited that she can’t stop talking. We are going to see her best friend and her sister. She’s holding my hand and skipping to the car. Her joy is contagious.

We stop at Starbucks which is our tradition before every road trip.

The drive takes us all afternoon.

At one point we go from sun to rain and I see a rainbow in the sky.

I listen to podcasts; she watches Shrek for the 10,000th time.

We stop at TJ Maxx for a curling iron because I forgot mine at home. We leave with little presents for all five of Joanna’s kids…..and no curling iron.

Eventually we reach our hotel. It’s getting dark and it’s cold. But we settle into our room and get back into the car to meet sister Grace and her boyfriend Caleb for dinner at a Greek place just a few minutes away. We can’t wait to see them.

At the restaurant, we order macaroni and cheese for Sarah, a pork chop dinner for Grace, and gyros for Caleb and me. The food is delicious and filling and gives us energy.

After we eat, we go next door and visit puppies in a shop.

*****

It’s Saturday and Grace’s 18th birthday.

She has plans for the day with Caleb so I take Sarah to see her best friend and pick up Joanna for a women’s Bible conference. She’s speaking and I can’t wait to hear her.

We drive to the church early and then sit in the car and talk while I put on make up.

It’s been a year since our last visit but it feels like we were never apart.

We go into the church and find seats. The tables are decorated with pretty lanterns and pumpkins and doilies. There is cold water and coffee or tea to drink and miniature bagels and clementines to snack on.

While she is away saying hello to some of the other ladies, I take a photo of our Bibles on the table and feel my heart bursting with gratitude for the moment.

The talks with other women are just what we need, the songs we sing help us to praise Him with the center of our being, and we pray together and learn more about Him.

We learn to say “Yes, Lord”; yes, and amen.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:20

I am astounded once again, that He has said Yes to me.

Joanna and I go into a little classroom after the conference and both of us take photos of an amazing mobile that has caught our attention; it is made out of a tree branch, and used for the church’s preschool ministry. We both decide we want to make one, too.

After the conference, we go to the hotel so I can change and then go back to her house to check on the girls. Grace and Caleb will be joining us for dinner later and we have the whole evening to look forward to.

depths and riches

Posted on October 11, 2017 by Shanda

Our daughter Grace is doing very well at college. To no ones surprise she is handling things with cheerfulness and above all, quiet confidence. She enjoys her classes, has a pet fish named Snape, recently got a care package from her boyfriend, joined the volleyball team, has time to read her favorite books, was asked to volunteer once a week as a student editor in the english department, and has had achieved high grades on her writing. She is a secondary English education major.

She is attending a Christian university in Pennsylvania and before she left I told her it would be the most wonderful experience…..to be surrounded by classmates and teachers with the same foundational beliefs. There are still many many differences in personalities and non-essential beliefs (which is a good and wonderful thing) but to be with so many others who first and foremost love Jesus….wow what a blessing. She is learning so much.

I knew she would love it because before Rich and I were married I was able to squeeze in one year of Bible college at a local school in New York. I lived on campus and had such fun. In fact, that is when I met my forever friend Joanna. She was doing the same one year program before marrying Steve. We had a lot in common and got to know each other throughout that year.

One of the blessings of my Christian college experience was the dorm Mom. I absolutely loved her…..instantly I knew she was someone I could trust and talk to about anything. And all of us girls felt the same way. She was an older lady with grown children and a husband who was a Professor on campus and she took all the students under her wing, especially us girls. She talked with us about Jesus, showed us the love of Jesus in her care for us, and also talked to us conversationally about what it meant to be a godly woman, wife, and mother. I remember sitting under the trees outside as she spoke gently and with a great sense of humor and love to a handful of us engaged girls about practical “newlywed” type of information….everything from laundry to the bedroom. Even thought I also had the best upbringing of my own dear mom, I appreciated it Mom P’s extra knowledge much. She was an excellent dorm Mom. In one of her notes to me she wrote, “I do not push myself on anyone, but any who want me, can have me.” And that is certainly how I felt around her….”she’s a friend, she loves me, she cares.”

After I was married I continued to keep in touch with her. When Rich and I had our second child I experienced Post Partum Depression. At the time I didn’t have the name for what I was feeling –but it was terrible–and my dear Dad encouraged me to go and talk with Mom P. So I did. I remember sitting in her office and soaking up her encouragement and love. And most of all I remember how she took newborn Ethan in her arms and we walked downstairs to the cafeteria where she happily showed him off to everyone.

After Rich and I moved away from the area I sent her Christmas cards and I believe I talked to her once on the phone, or maybe in an email, asking for a church recommendation, and we had a nice time catching up.

Then FB became a “thing” with people of all ages and she and I found each other on Facebook….she continued to show an interest in me….asking about the kids, loving the photos, showing true interest and joy in my life.

She and her husband retired a little while back and moved further south and I felt a twinge of sadness knowing she “wasn’t there” at the college any longer. To me, she was something of a college institution and should never leave it. 🙂

This story is getting longer and longer, I just wanted to tell you a bit about Mom P, because I had the best surprise last week.

In each dorm building at Grace’s school there is a set of “parents” who are there to provide any type of basic need that a student might have in the dorms….a married couple to stand in the gap for the students who are away from their real parents for probably the first time. I met Grace’s dorm parents when we moved her into her room and it was a good feeling to know that they were there, living with their young daughter just down the hall from Grace and all the other dorm girls. I saw a bunch of photos that Grace’s dorm Mom took of “her” girls on their first few days of school.

So imagine my complete and utter surprise when my own Mom P. sent me a message on FB on October 3rd:

Hi dear Shanda, I just met your sweet daughter Grace. She is in my son & d-I-loves dorm. They are wonderful with the girls if I do say so. Grace is so precious and beautiful like her Mom!! Look forward to seeing her more this week!! God bless you all!

and from Grace:

“My dorm Dad is Mrs. P’s son. I just met her and she told me all about how amazing you are.”

OF COURSE after laughing and crying at the same time I BEGGED FOR A PHOTO:

When I sent the photo and little story to Dad via texting, this was his reply:

“Oh the depths and the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God……..”

interesting things for an original girl

Posted on September 8, 2017 by Shanda

“…use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence:

Love others as you love yourself.” Galations 5

*****

I went and got my nails painted dark bright pink today. They are soooooo pretty!

House is clean and Caleb should be home soon and then an hour later the little kids will be home and then. . . . .David has his very first soccer game! So exciting.

I want to post the photos we took when we took Grace to college. It’s been a few weeks now and yes it is strange to not have her presence in the home. . . .we miss her. But those feelings of “missing” are balanced nicely with feelings of “so proud of you.”

We drove the truck as she had lots of stuff. She arrived before her roommate did and we were greeted by a nice group of people who promptly carried her things inside for us.

This cozy communal living room is just outside her dorm room. I imagine lots of fun will be had here all school year long.

In no time at all, she had her things put just where she wanted them.

So many times she has stood in the gap for us as big sister/babysitter when necessary, and they have a close bond. They know she loves them.

I say this all the time to the kids only I say it in modern English:

“You’re going to be fine.”

I feel that I must try the medieval way next time.

I told her if she ever feels lonely to just go to the library and….. “all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.” After all, her mother has been dragging her to libraries her entire life.

Meet the roommate!

Bless them.

*****

The college is close to where Rich and I grew up, so we have some connections to some of the people. When I was a little girl, my young parents spent a lot of time with an older couple from church. Our families at that time became very close and they had an older, teenage son who was such fun, my brother and I adored him.

Well, all of these years later, through our FB connections, we found out that our kids would be attending college together. Literally, as I was moving in Grace, I went on Facebook and “randomly” discovered that Mike was moving in his son Caleb at the same time. So of course we had to meet up later!

*******

Rich spent the entire next morning with Grace continuing to help her out with last minute things like what to do with her iPhone that she dropped and smashed right in the midst of moving in.

And then we had to say goodbye for a little while. (Although we are always only a text away.)

One last family photo in the parking lot of the school. Makes me laugh out loud. I am being motherly and “helping” Caleb get in the photo.

“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.“

Galations 5

Grace, you’re an original! And I love you.

adventure

Posted on August 23, 2017 by Shanda

We are leaving to take Grace to college on Friday morning. Jacob will be coming home this weekend while we are gone, to pick up Ethan and take him back to college with him. So we are savoring the last week at home before a very busy weekend.

I’m sitting cross legged on the couch, still in my pajamas. The kids are playing a game and Parker the dog is stretched out next to me, snoring. Gentleman Gray is grooming himself on the end table.

We had rain in the night. The outdoors is fresh and clean and the sun is shining bright. I ate a piece of pie out on the porch and watched the morning birds fly about. I saw a hummingbird chase around a titmouse and a bee sipping nectar from a flower in my garden.

I recently made a pound cake and it turned out so good I thought I would share the recipe. Click HERE for a yummy Vanilla Bean-Brownie Ripple Pound Cake from Southern Living. And it used up five eggs so it was a winner in every way. (I’m always looking for recipes that use up the eggs from our flock of 14 hens).

I quartered some baby potatoes and fried them with an onion and some peppers. When they were done, I made a spot for four eggs and cooked them with the lid on until they were just soft in the middle but not gooey in any way (I hate runny eggs). It was a delicious breakfast and so easy.

I was gazing at the monarch caterpillars when I saw Gentleman Gray trot by the window with a frog in his mouth, legs every which way.

Cats are funny.

Ethan spent over an hour yesterday morning learning a new song on the guitar.

It was like he couldn’t stop, he was so focused.

Why yes, she WAS singing “Do you Want to Build a Snowman?”

Caleb got his summer reading assignment done.

Grace and Tessa worked on a puzzle.

Watching a movie with the kids (Lego Batman).

The two swallowtail caterpillars finally stopped eating and began the chrysalis stage. Instead of dangling like the monarchs do, they hang themselves under a stick using a loop of silk.

And then, like magic, they turn into something that looks just like a stick.

I recently got this at Goodwill. “Five little maidens out on the green, Happier maidens never were seen.”

legs

I have about 10,000 peaches to take care of thanks to our one and only tree being LOADED this year! (I made a pie yesterday).

YFUH3359

Grace and I finally got her college preparations done yesterday. AND manicures and pedicures.

*****

“The less we are attached to life, the more alive we can become. The less we have preferences about life, the more deeply we can experience and participate in life. This is not to say that I don’t prefer raisin toast to blueberry muffins. It is to say that I don’t prefer raisin toast so much that I am unwilling to get out of bed unless I can have raisin toast, or that the absence of raisin toast ruins the whole day. Embracing life may be more about tasting than it is about either raisin toast or blueberry muffins. More about trusting one’s ability to take joy in the newness of the day and what it may bring. More about adventure than having your own way.”

~Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. in Kitchen Table Wisdom

little graduation party

Posted on July 11, 2017 by Shanda

Grace graduated from HS a few weeks ago and we had a “plan B” celebration for her on Saturday.

We are just thankful things worked out and we even got to HAVE any kind of gathering at all. Ya know, life. It’s messy beautiful; surprising, chaotic, and crazy. A healthy sense of humor is the best thing to have when living life and raising children………

Laughter is carbonated holiness. -Anne Lammott

My brother Isaac took most of the pictures.

The weather was very nice, we had expected a day of thunder storms (so we set up the food tables in the house) but nothing eventful happened, only some lovely dark clouds at times and a nice downpour in the evening.

Grace had a wonderful time. In fact, we didn’t see much of her or the rest of the teens.

19942926_10155267286841343_3871694527459807877_o

My brother Nathan and his wife Melissa were HUGE helpers!! They stayed here with us for two nights with Makayla and Greg and we very much enjoyed our visit with them.

My bestie Aunt Colleen and her girls also came out from NY —thank you!! Also Mom and Dad, my sister Amanda with her kids, and Isaac & Cassandra.

This was our third graduate in three years. David is a freshman this year so it will be a few years until the next graduate.

They had a long walk in the rain while the rest of us sat on the porch, relaxing and visiting.

Grace with her cake, 5 cousins, and 4 friends from school. They’re all so pretty with those bright smiles.

It is cheerful to God when you rejoice or laugh
from the bottom of your heart.
-Martin Luther King Jr.

grace (graduation)

Posted on June 21, 2017 by Shanda

It was about a week ago now that I met a homeschooling family at one of my son’s baseball games. The mom and I had a nice visit together as we watched the boys play and at one point Grace came walking by with her friend. I stopped her and introduced her to my new acquaintance. “Oh, I used to be homeschooled,” Grace offered excitedly, “I loved it. I never wanted to go to public school but mom made me.”

Part of me cringed to hear these honest words. However, after last night, watching Grace with her class and teachers, seeing her bright smile, how mature she was, how capable, her light shining bright, it all became clear to me.

She bloomed where she was planted.

She took a difficult change in her life and made the best of it.

She had ups and downs, more downs, a few more ups, on and on for the six years she was in school, rather like a roller coaster.

She had fun, tears, anxiety, sleepless nights, songs, dance, silence, wide eyed wonder, false friendship, true friendship, romance, responsibility, headaches, dizziness, academics, good grades, good books, teachers who were kindred spirits, teachers who were her second mothers, and through it all…….she had her faith in an unchanging dependable Father God keeping her steady.

She did it. Rich and I could not be prouder of our daughter.

*******

A month or so ago I was feeling a little desperate about Grace leaving home so soon and mentioned, half teasing, that she might like to take a year off from college and just stay at home with us (me). After all, she did start school when she was four and was younger than a few of the juniors this year. “We would have so much fun, Grace!” to which she replied (and I quote because I wrote it down):

“I know we would but. . . .we have all summer. And I need to move on with my life.”

I just had to laugh with respect, happy to have a child this steady and focused on her goals. I know how much she adores her siblings and depends on her parents. The relationships within the family circle couldn’t be better, which is to say, perhaps this is the very reason why she is confident in moving on; her needs are met so she is not needy or clingy. Plus it’s just her personality in general. She’s forward-moving.

She’ll be attending Christian college in the fall about 5 hours from home (not too far), easy enough to get her home for the holidays. I know she will have the time of her life there.

For our small town, the class of 2017 was rather large and cars parked all over the the place outside in the parking lots AND out of the parking lots. I drove up over the curb with my big mama vehicle and parked in the lawn! Saving seats was a hostile experience! But we all got squeezed in and you can see my view from the middle of the room. . . . . .thank the Lord once we sat down I found that I could see Grace if I leaned over to the right and then forward in my seat.

There she is!

Recognized with the other scholarship and honers students.

waiting in line for her diploma

two hours after walking in……the class left the gym to loud & happy music.

(dear girl; Emily–our neighbor and also Ethan’s girlfriend’s sister…kids rode the bus together for years)

and now for the fun photos:

With gratitude to the teacher who understands that some families NEED more tickets, Grace’s siblings were able to attend this year’s graduation ceremony. (all 9) Her two big brothers visited the old HS stomping grounds and saw some of their teachers and friends. (I say “old” but Ethan just graduated a year ago, and Jacob the year before that).

After getting through the crowd and out of the gym, we found our girl.

Oldest girl with youngest girl; oldest boy with youngest boy.

friends

adoring little sister

One of “our other kids” Zak, also graduated. He is a close friend of the family.

My husband coached him in wrestling.

brother Dave

W E N D Y ! ! ! !

I had left my purse unguarded in the hall so Jacob collected it for me. Brittany is another dear friend of the family and graduated with Grace.

Caleb and Seth got through the night thanks to the kindle and…..cheese. 🙂

Ethan with his girl.

My daughter, my friend.

Love you, Grace…

How hard the battle goes, the day, how long;
Faint not, fight on! Tomorrow comes the song. ~Maltbie Babcock

SaveSave

grace (class night)

Posted on June 20, 2017 by Shanda

The washer and dryer are going, and outside skies are clearing up after being washed clean from a night of rainfall.

A mason jar of wild flowers, freshly picked, sits on the kitchen island.

A collection of baseballs over there on the end table from a now-ended season of little league.

Parker the dog is sleeping, with his head resting against my leg.

I scrubbed something disgusting off the porch this morning.

Sarah’s stuffed owl on the coffee table.

A stack of stuff emptied from someone’s backpack.

shorts, a tank top, freshly washed hair, and comfy birkenstocks on my feet

*****

Today is the last day of school.

Last days are a tad heart-wrenching, aren’t they?

(I swear they each grew a foot this year.)

Thankfully, “last days”……. are followed by “first days”.

*****

Grace’s HS graduation is tonight.

Rich and I were away for five days, we returned last night just in time to go to the school for a fun “Class Night” put on by the Seniors, for the Seniors. Grace looked so pretty marching into the auditorium with the rest of the students. All the moms and dads looked and looked until their eyes rested on their own dear child. . . . . . . .suddenly on the threshold of completing all those years of school. We couldn’t help but take the time to remember the years leading up to this day, as they grew from little babies all the way up to the 17 and 18 year olds that they are now. Lots of love was in the room.

After a 30 minute slideshow, the kids put on one last talent show up there on the stage.

I sat between Jacob and Ethan and it was fun, but today, right now, as I watch these videos of the two songs Grace sang with her friends, I’m a big puddle of mama-tears.

Grace wore a long white dress with roses on it.

Posted on May 15, 2017 by Shanda

Time for the utterly predictable Mother’s Day post!!!

SUNDAY morning I got up and sipped my coffee while looking through one of those old scrapbooks that I bought at the thrift store and found the most dear little poem.

DANDELIONS
by Katherine Saunders
What child has never tasted dandelions,
The bitter of their hollow, curling handles;
Picked yellow blossoms by the tortured fistful
Nor blown the white fire out like birthday candles?

Grownups may shudder, dig them out of lawns,
And yet they make a very fine bouquet,
Especially with no other flowers handy
For a little boy on Mother’s Day.

And since, truth be told, my own dear children were having a hard time keeping off the TV and video games, I came up with the brilliant idea that THEY should go pick ME a dandelion bouquet…..after all it was Mother’s day!

It was raining and they got wet but they very much enjoyed their little nature walk, they told me they played a game called “adventures”. The bouquet didn’t have any dandelions in it, they said there weren’t any dandelions.

Jacob went out for breakfast with his friend Cody and he came back with a bouquet of flowers from 7 Eleven. I saw him get out of the car with them so I rushed to the door to receive my beautiful flowers and hug him. Thank you Jacob!

Seth gave me a marigold plant in a paper cup after school on Friday, he had the flower part in his other hand, “It fell off.” he cheerfully explained.

Sarah Joy gave me paper flowers in a plastic vase, glued all over with tissue paper. The card said, “Happy Mother’s Day, I love you even more than toys!”

She also gave me a “thank you” card and it said this on the inside of it:

18447274_10155078197911343_9211596319988926924_n

We think it may be a variation on “I hope you have a nice day.” and it gave me a good surprise and a long healthy laugh which was the best gift ever.

We went to church and then to McDonalds, which was super fun, everyone was full of happiness and energy. You can be a bit more wild at McDonalds and not have to use your best manners ……therefore mom can relax. How lovely.

18527226_10155079453326343_5050473363393836679_o

We took the offspring home and then Rich took me to the mall for a date. Was it because of the diet Coke or the fact that it was Mother’s day that I was so cheerful and happy all day long? Or my natural disposition? I dunno. It was just a very nice day.

******

Back tracking……this was Friday night. Grace went to her Senior banquet with her friend Kylee. Her boyfriend Caleb is at basic training in Texas so she went with the next best person; his sister.

They got ready in my bathroom; so sweet.

Jacob went to Senior banquet, too, with his good friend Emily. She was the one in the last post with the Sapphire tumbler.

Jacob bought his tie from the Brimfield Antique show, it’s vintage. He was on the hunt for a royal blue tie to match Emily’s dress.

It was 10 dollars.

Grace wore the dress Hannah made for her, silver sandals, and my new leaf necklace and earrings that Rich gave to me when he got home from his last business trip. She looked magical.

And guess what? I took the photo of her and Kylee at the top of the driveway so naturally Grace checked the mail…..and found two letters from Caleb inside the mailbox!

(all she does lately is write long epistles to her boyfriend and haunt the mailbox for replies)

Beautiful Kylie with Gentleman Gray ❤

******

This week is going to be exciting starting with today when I take Sarah to get her wart removed and then go shopping with her and the two older boys. Tomorrow I’m getting my hair done, Wednesday Seth has a program at school and Thursday I’m taking Grace and Ethan with me for a beach day!!

It’s currently 47 degrees and raining but by Thursday it’s supposed to be partly sunny and 89. We shall see.

*****

mother’s day quote: “I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.”