sunflowers in the tool shed

On Sunday morning, Rich and I and the kids plus Brittnee (basically we have eight kids now) met brother Dave at the Crackerbarrel, where he had already requested a table for eleven.  Crackerbarrel does a great job handling large families and oftentimes (including this one) gives us two waitresses, one for each side of the table.  The kids had big mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream and in no time at all we were eating a most enjoyable breakfast.  I had an egg sandwich with eggs, tomato, mayonnaise, and their sourdough toast, with a side of fresh fruit and some bacon.

When it was time to leave, we all went to Mom and Dad’s house and I rode in the car with Dave so we could continue our visit together and stop by Uncle Brian’s to give him a and Aunt Carol a quick hug.  Rich and Jacob followed soon afterwords in their cars.  Mom and Dad and sister Amanda, who was also visiting that weekend, were waiting for us at home.  I think we might have overwhelmed them a little (especially Aunt Amanda) with energy and noise.  Dad has a drum set and Caleb, who was so excited to play for Grandpa, got right on it to show off a little, but soon was told to stop.  David, Grace, and Ethan took turns on Grandpa’s keyboard, too.  So amongst talk and laughter there was the background music of amateurs.  Dad played foozeball with the boys.

Jacob had a couple of shirts with him that had torn on the seams and I had told him I would mend them at Grandma’s house but Grandma did it instead.  She has her sewing machine kept out, ready to use, at all times.  How convenient!  By the time she was done, the shirts were as good as new, you couldn’t even tell they had been ripped in the first place.  Thank you, Grandma!

Mom was bright and happy and said several times, “My heart is full!”  We told her we wouldn’t need any lunch because we knew Crackerbarrel food would keep us full for half the day at least, so she had a nice set up on the counter with her homemade pickles, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, cheese and crackers, and other snack foods.

(Mom makes enough dill pickles to last the whole year, using a family recipe and her own garden cucumbers, garlic, and dill.)

We went outside to see the garden.

We met Dave and Sarah walking around on the lawn, looking at things and talking.  Sarah was so happy.  She spent most of the time at both her grandparents’ houses this weekend, outside.  She loves exploring.  I was thankful Uncle Dave stayed with her to keep track of her.  The lawn was so wet that they wore muck boots.  Sarah had grandma’s boots on!  We thought she was so cute and funny.  Poor Uncle Dave, his boots had a hole in them.

Mom and Dad’s vegetable garden is surrounded by a homemade rustic fence and flowers.

thank you for the photo, amanda!

They use chicken fencing, pallets, and suitable sticks woven throughout, to try to keep out deer, who love to eat garden foods, too.  This side of the garden had beautiful gourds ripening.

Uncle Dave and Sarah went across the road to the blueberry patch and when they came back, we noticed that they had swapped boots….why?….because Sarah was trying to be helpful about the hole in her uncle’s boots and suggeste that he take her boot.  She wasn’t wearing socks so it didn’t matter to her if there was a leak.  I took the picture as she was telling the story.

We went for a walk down the road.  What a beautiful morning!  We could hear birds and chipmunks and saw some orange salamanders in the road, too.

Soon it was time to leave and go to little Greg’s football game and meet baby Morgan.

Thanks, mom and dad, for a lovely visit!

*****

“Those blessings are sweetest
that are won with prayer
and worn with thanks.”
Thomas Goodwin

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”  JK Rowling

I don’t mean to brag or anything but we had a great weekend and it was all because of me.  I am the personality type that has to have family gatherings, has to keep in touch, has to have contact, has to visit and see faces, and my husband focuses on work and weekends at home, his schedule is constant and his weekends are the time to slow down a little and enjoy the fruits of his labor.  He would rather not take a weekend and spend most of the time….in the car, traveling yet again.  I am not better than he is, he is not better than me, every person in this grand ol’ world is different and we need each other.  He needs me to balance him out and I need him to balance me out!  He needs me to get his butt back home to see our family!!

He and I both came from the same hometown and in our young married life moved here to our home in CT (about 12 years ago).

To go back home is about a 3 hour drive, not bad at all, but somehow months and months and maybe even a year will go by before the two of us together get around to visiting again.

I positively ache if I go too long without a visit, as a result, many times I go home by myself or with just a couple of children.  Rich would either be gone that week (at camp with the older kids) or home with the children that didn’t go with me that time.

But this past weekend I put my foot down.  I was going to be stubborn.  I wanted to go to NY to visit family and I wanted to see my entire family, too, RICH’S FAMILY, and by golly he was going to go with me!  He was away last week on a business trip so all the arrangements were made between the two of us by texting.  It took a few days but he finally came around with an “if it means so much to you than yes, I will go”.  I dabbed in the empty house with the phone in my hands.  He made hotel arrangements.

I was adamant about this weekend because the kids had no football games, as it was a bye week.  And, it providentially turned out that Jacob also had a bye week at college so he and Ethan came, too.  And since our hotel was just an hour from Grace and Brittnee (Jacob’s girlfriend), Jacob and Ethan drove there first (getting in an accident on the way) on Friday night and brought the girls back with them to the hotel, on Saturday.

The NUMBER ONE reason to visit was to see our new baby niece.

Then, to watch our nephew play football and to see Uncle Brian, who is sick.

And, lastly, to visit all of Rich’s family (it had been way too long) and my family, too.

Thus, after everything came together, we were all set for a whirlwind weekend.

It’s work to get the clothes and car packed and ready, something always goes wrong, (this time it was Seth taking his oldest pair of junk sneakers with the sole that flapped as he walked), Rich and I are always a little tired from lack of sleep and our lifestyle in general as busy parents, but it’s worth it.  We have found that we can do a lot and still be happy and make memories even when tired.

It’s important to make the effort to see your family.  It’s invaluable to give children the opportunity and gift to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Life can change in the blink of an eye.  We need to seize the day!  It’s so worth it.  Parents should visit their children and children should visit their parents.  Yes, it will be loud and sometimes annoying but that’s normal and understandable when you get a house full of youngsters. They are simply too excited to slow down and need to feel the attention and love of their grown-ups.  The music will be loud……. but all the more opportunity to dance.

*****

Friday, Rich finally made it home from his 3 state business trip including a terribly postponed flight, we took David to get his passport, J and E got into an accident and Rich fathered them through that over the phone, we went to pick up Rich’s new glasses from the mall, and the kids had practice after school, all the day before our trip.

Saturday morning we left.   We always stop at Starbucks along the way.  I’ve been getting their matcha green tea latte lately and they are SO GOOD.  Seth ordered, then Sarah, Dave, Caleb, myself, and Rich.  Then, we waited for our orders and Seth’s sandwich never came so I wondered if he even ordered it loudly enough and asked Rich for the receipt, which he didn’t have.  But the barista said, “Oh, it’s okay, I’ll just make it for him, no problem”, so kindly.  She asked what we were doing for the weekend since it was only 7:30 and there we were in Starbucks, all six of us.  She was sweet and pleasant and we were soon on our way, feeling happy because of their good service.

The children had things to do in the car.  Sarah read books, Seth and Caleb had kindles.  I let David use my phone.  Rich and I used his phone with a pair of ear buds, one for his right ear and one for my left.  We listened to Dr. Death, the podcast, and it was horrifying and riveting because the surgeries “Dr. Death” killed or maimed people with was the same type of surgery Rich just had this summer.

Every time Rich turned his head to check his side mirror my ear bud fell out.

We stopped in Albany on the way to our hotel and went to Barnes and Noble.  In fact, I was able to go twice this weekend, to 2 different ones, and I bought four more books for our family Newbery collection (they are getting harder to find and I order most of them from the internet now).  I also finished reading one titled The Thief.  I read several chapters out loud in the car to Rich.  He liked it, too.  It was a great story, creative and adventurous, set in Greece.

We ate lunch at the Spiedie and Rib pit in Vestal, one of our favorite hometown food places.  The spiedies are amazing.  And  then we went to our hotel, where, oh joy,  Jacob, Ethan, Grace, and Brittnee were waiting for us with a box of Krispie Kreme donuts.  THANK YOU ETHAN!

Jacob and Brittnee went to the bookstore with me and Jacob bought a book titled Le Morte D’Arthur, written in the 1400’s.  He is currently very interested in Arthurian literature, which I think is so neat.  I hope to read his book eventually.

After a couple of hours at the pool and relaxing, and our trip to the bookstore, we headed to Dad and Leslie’s house.  His three brothers and their families came, too, and our whole big family had a pizza dinner and lots of fun talking and visiting while the cousins ran in and out of the house to run around or visit the pigs in the barn.

priceless photos

Seth, Grandpa, and my sister-in-law Elisabeth all sat on the couch to visit.

This beautiful family dog is always so good with the kids.

When she saw the sky, Elisabeth came in the house to find me.  “Shanda, you have to see the sunset!”

Back inside, more visiting, and family everywhere.  Rich was smiling.

Our little nephew, brother Jason’s youngest son.  He played with trains so nicely and we loved watching him.

David and Ethan got silly.

Words of life, on Leslie’s kitchen windowsill.

ALL OF US!!!!!!  Thank you to the picture-taker, dear Brittnee!

*****

That night when we were in bed going to sleep, I listened to Rich tell me how much the evening meant to him.

*****

“When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion – through the fact that for that someone (or for ourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful.”  M. Scott Peck

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that.

Don’t be impressed with yourself.

Don’t compare yourself with others.

Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”

Galatians chapter 6

Ah, such freedom.

I feel it in my soul.

There has been a great deal of bird activity around my place.  I hear them outside and sneak over to the windows to take a look.  The fledging nestlings are almost grown up and the parents bring them to the feeder.  I laughed at this one female cardinal baby who acted so helpless but by all appearances seems to be big enough to get to the birdseed herself.

She cannot and will not be ignored.  She vibrates her wings up and down and doesn’t stop peeping (begging).  You would think she was starving.

“Here take it!”

“No good.”

It was an empty shell!  Quite funny to see their beaks point down at it, looking. questioning.

I ran outside to fill up the feeders with sunflower seeds just in case the birds were running out.

Juvenile females have a dark beak.

And the mature female’s beak is beautiful orange-red.

It was raining the day I took these photos and all the birds’ feather-coats were clean but disheveled, much to our amusement.

Even Chippy Hackee came for a visit and was stuffing his cheeks full of seeds.

“I know where Chippy is; a little bird told me,” said Mrs. Chippy Hackee.”  ~The Tale of Timmy Tiptoes by Beatrix Potter (we’ve been reading it over and over lately)

KINGFISHER (I love them!) They have feather mohawks and their heads look too big for their body.  They are a beautiful slate-blue color with white and blend in well.  I knew this one was there because of it’s calling sounds.  I was on the porch when I took the photo, and he was way over in the trees over the pond (where he finds little fish to eat).

Look who I found on the roof!

The most beautiful cedar waxwing Mother.

And her baby.

Here’s my baby.  He was outside taking videos of David kicking a soccer ball when I took this photo.  Seth will be 10 in February and I drove him last night to the school to try out the Trumpet, which is his first choice to learn for band.  His second choice is percussion and third, the oboe.  After he was done he asked if he could skip the rest of football practice and I said “No way!” and dropped him off at the field.  Caleb has a slightly hurt knee so I found him dejectedly pacing around listening to his coach (who wanted him to take it easy) and team practice.  I saw Zak, one of Jacob and Ethan’s friends, and chatted with him.  Rich has been gone all week but thank goodness he will be home tonight, Lord willing.

Please pray for my Aunt Carol and Uncle Brian as they just found out that Uncle Brian is facing a serious illness.

*********

PS, the first photo in this post was of a mother wolf spider.  She’s guarding a nest full of tiny spider babies.