About Shanda

wife, mom of seven, friend, child of God

grace the amazing corn bag maker

Posted on January 5, 2015 by Shanda

“I will love you forever and a day.”

Grace sat in front of the sewing machine last night and whipped up the remainder of her corn-bags to give as holiday gifts to her friends in Madrigals at school.

She sure knows how to get things done, this girl of ours. To begin with, she went through all my fabric and carefully chose just the right piece of material for each person, cut them out, ironed them, and put them in a neat stack by the machine.

When she ran out of corn she wouldn’t let up until I drove her back to Agway to buy more. We came home with a 50 pound bag of it. (anyone want a corn bag?)

She did everything herself, except, sadly, remedy the sewing machine problems. The first problem was the foot fell off (gruesomely). Then, she called me to come retrieve the bobbin thread four separate times (kept getting itself lost). As much I I hated leaving my book, I was honestly pretty happy that I was (only) called five times. She had the machine going as fast as she could and she completed about 15 last night, in a final rush to get the project completed.

When she was done I took a couple pictures of her beautiful work. I’ve made corn bags before, but not this many at once. Mama was impressed.

As soon as I took the picture she jumped up, put them all in bag, laughingly realized it was so heavy that Jacob would have to help her get them to school in the morning, and took them into the living room to sit with us and chat while she labeled them with tape and a sharpie.

HOW TO MAKE A CORN-BAG

“do feel
a little
crafty
at least
twice a day”
~dottie angel

bluebirds of happiness & crock pot recipe

Posted on January 3, 2015 by Shanda

It is a cold, dark, and peaceful Saturday. My husband is away, at a wrestling tournament with our teenage boys. Dear daughter Grace is out shopping and lunching with a much loved friend.

I am home with David, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah. David is in Ethan’s room, reading. Caleb is downstairs playing, Seth and Sarah are napping. Small Sarah Joy has been ill since the 31st. With lots of tender loving care, her fever is finally gone and the bright redness of her cheeks has faded away. She’s still rather grumpy, but is getting her appetite back.

David has a slice of apple under a mound of salt in the kitchen. He says he is making an apple mummy and asked me to please not touch it. Soon I will do a blog post all about his Christmas Vacation Science Experiments.

There is a crock pot with chicken dinner slowly cooking on the counter. As I type, I am listening to the noises of the dishwasher and the washing machine. How thankful I am for my “maids”, doing the hard work for me. I mopped the floor earlier, and Grace vacuumed before she left.

Do you still have your Christmas tree up? We do, and it looks so pretty today. The house lights are off and the teeny white bulbs of the tree are glowing, and golden tinsel garland is glittery.

My legs are under a soft, warm blanket and the dog is at the other end of the couch, settling down for a nap.

My sister gave me a new bird feeder, which I hung on a post just outside the door, on the porch. I am facing the door from where I sit, and I can see chickadees taking turns flying in for a sunflower seed, and racing away with it to eat in the tree in the garden. The only motion I see are the birds outside the window, there is no wind today.

We have seven chickens and are collecting one single egg a day. Now that Christmas is over, I am determined to do what I can to nurture the hens, hoping that will a little extra care and attention we may get two eggs per day. Three would be nice. Four would be joyous.

It was on my way to the coop yesterday that gave me the topic for this blog entry.

I had bought a container of dehydrated mealworms to give to the hens for a treat. The hens adore mealworms. Yesterday, I walked to the coop, with only the thought of how happy they would be to have some delicious mealworms scattered into the grass to peck. Two cats caught up with me to join the fun.

If you have the eyes to see, and the necessary curiosity, you will soon come to realize that no two days are alike outside in God’s beautiful world. And I’m not just talking about the weather. There is endless delight in nature and almost always *something* exciting enough to journal, or blog about.

Yes, today is a cloudy day, but yesterday was sunshine. There was not a hint of warmth to the sun, but the birds still seemed to enjoy it because they were everywhere. I saw a bright red cardinal and several blue jays, along with the common chickadees.

But the tiny unexpected *something* which thrilled my heart, made me stop midway to the coop, prompted me to put the mealworm container down in the grass and turn back to the house to get my camera, were the bluebirds.

The only time I notice them on our property is this time of year, and their visits take me by surprise.

I counted at least six this time, sitting up in tree branches, in the sunshine.

Bluebirds possess *a stunning shade of* blue feathers, all along their backs. The breast is white over a burnt orange color. They kept their suspicious faces toward me, which meant that regardless of my prayers, I didn’t get to gaze upon their blue plumage as much as I would have liked……

And, as soon as they sensed that I was a bit too close for comfort, they would silently and gently fly to yet another tree…..

The blue in the sky matched their feathers.

Again I got too close, and away they flew.

I said goodbye to the bluebirds and sat at the edge of the pond. It was frozen over and admirably smooth. It wasn’t strong enough for me to stand on, but little Samantha-cat slipped and skated her way across the ice.

I scooted a small stone out to her and she batted it all over, slipping now and then.

I had a vision of a beautifully illustrated children’s book about blue birds and an ice-skating kitty cat. But this blog post will have to suffice……(maybe)…..

Creamy Mushroom Chicken

6 boneless chicken-breast halves
12 oz jar mushroom gravy
1 cup milk
8 oz package cream cheese, cubed
4.5 oz can chopped green chilies
1 pkg. dry Italian salad dressing

1. Combine all ingredients in slow cooker.
2. Cover, cook on low 6 hours.
3. Serve over broccoli, mashed potatoes, noodles, or rice.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

friday already!? (this moment)

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Shanda

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

let January open with joy

Quote

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Shanda

“Since, O sweet Lord Jesus,
Thou art the present portion of Thy people,
favor us this year with such a sense of Thy preciousness,
that from its first to its last day
we may be glad and rejoice in Thee.
Let January open with joy in the Lord,
and December close with gladness in Jesus.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

18th birthday

Posted on December 31, 2014 by Shanda

Today, for his 18th birthday……

….Jacob received more than just a football.

He was asked to the prom by Emily!

*******

Happy Birthday to our firstborn. We love you dearly.

grace and books

Posted on December 29, 2014 by Shanda

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. ~Author Unknown

*****

She is in 10th grade and cheerfully talks about leaving right after High School.

She wants to be in the military or go to Colorado for college.

Inside, my heart aches but I believe in letting the children go their own way, giving them freedom to make life plans.

In the meantime, my heart cherishes every moment with her.

On Saturday night, just the two of us went to Barnes and Noble to sit and read, sip chai tea, and journal.

After wandering the bookshelves, I joined her at a little round table to look through the stack of books I picked out.

1) By the Book was interesting because in each chapter, a different literary person is asked several questions about books– their favorite book, what they are currently reading, what book they couldn’t finish, and so on. I wrote down a few books that looked interesting. 2) I find the story of Chris McCandless fascinating, so I thought I would browse his sister’s new book, The Wild Truth, which gave her own perspective of the tragic events. All in all, I wasn’t interested in reading it in depth because it was more about her own life, rather than her brother’s. 3) Delicious Probiotic Drinks was great, and a book I will purchase through amazon. 4) A Room of One’s Own will be a book I borrow from the library. 5) Portraits and Profiles was a photography book with essays, well written and interesting.

“Whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.” David Sedaris, in By the Book.

“I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives.” David Sedaris

“…she is joyously healthy and undoubtedly eats an apple a day….” Cecil Beaton, in Portraits and Profiles, writing of Katherine Hepburn

Eventually, we left our little table and went over to the children’s section to sit on the floor. We sat for quite a while, enjoying each other’s company and the wonderful new books we discovered. Grace especially enjoyed Nuts to You, and kept reading me parts from it while laughing. The Dark, by Lemony Snicket, was adorable. The Squirrel’s Birthday and other Parties by Toon Tellegen, was a darling new discovery for me, a book that was written over 25 years ago by a Dutch father who told the stories to his daughter as she was growing up. He eventually wrote them all down and it has become a beloved book comparable to Winnie the Pooh. Wainscott Weasel was about a weasel in love with a fish. Can you even imagine? Mean Margaret contains a story with animals that talk, and a terrible toddler from a family with nine children. It made me chuckle. Mister Max was written by a favorite author of mine, Cynthia Voigt. Roland Smith is a favorite author of Jacob, Ethan, and Grace. He has written a couple of series of books that they liked very much. It is sad that the boys have grown up in the midst of the series and have lost interest in how things are going for the characters in the books. Mutation and Alcatraz are two latest books in those series. Grace and I had a discussion about how “you are never too old to read a children’s book.” And I thought of C.S. Lewis, who explained it so much better:

“Critics who treat ‘adult’ as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” CS Lewis

One of the wonderful blessings of having children of all ages is that you are compelled to keep reading books for all ages.

After filling up our minds with books, we meandered over to Moes and filled up our tummies with nachos.

Talking all the way, my Gracie-girl and me.

christmas

Posted on December 26, 2014 by Shanda

Heart. Soul. Mind.

For the busy mama, these important parts of our selves can be run down and dried up over the Happy Holiday season. This is how it has been for me the last few weeks or more. I’m so caught up in the doing, doing, doing, that within me is withered and waiting.

Oh how I yearn and crave a deeper life. Jesus is in my heart and my soul is beautiful because of His saving grace, I know this. I have everything working for me in my innermost being…everything but some free space to breathe.

Even attending church leaves me hungry for “more” because I have children doing strange things next to me every time. I can’t settle down and soak it in like I want to. I’m thankful for a Father God who understands the Mothers He made.

I was reading Les Mis last night. I’m on page 615. And I thought to myself….what a life…..in the time I DO have to breathe, to refresh, what do I do? I read a book. Dusty, musty, silence and stillness. Reading is the place to relax, to gather up the blanket, feel the purring cat at my feet, shut the door in order to silence “Top Gear” from the other room, and read until my eyes are tired.

But reading isn’t CREATING. Reading is taking in and admiring someone else’s creation.

I do love to blog and blogging is creating. Journalling is creating– but I don’t do as much of that. Sewing, baking (but I do too much of that), drawing, what else? (thinking out loud here) Photography…. yes…… I want to do these and more.

Now that Christmas is over I feel myself resolving to do more artistic work, by the grace of God, in order to bring down some water for my thirsty heart, soul, and mind.

cookie-art (tired of it)

Don’t laugh. (I’m talking to myself, because I’m laughing)…..because part of me feels silly as I express this need. Will I make the most of the opportunities that come my way? Or will I read a few more pages of my latest book, too tired to do much else?

A little less sleep, a little less slumber, a little less reading, and little more soul FUN~(I did calligraphy on some of my Christmas cards…which was wonderfully satisfying!)

Creating with the children. They know how to be artistic and inspiring without second guessing. I admire that. Perhaps I should draw on the walls like they do?

Christmas was nice. Certainly it is more work than magic for the parents, but it is a rewarding work. All the shopping, lists, and making sure everything gets done by December 24 can be rather tiresome. (At least there is a deadline.) I love the photo of the stockings; starting with Rich’s, then the children from oldest to youngest, with mine at the end. The tree lights reflecting in the stove look like there is a fire is going. A sweet friend who owns a greenhouse gave us the gorgeous poinsettias, which I keep faithfully watering. Seth made the red handprint green construction paper wreath and the paper chain.

Rich got up out of bed on Christmas morning at 5:30, I asked him why, “I have to go do your stocking.” I gave him enough time and then got up to find that the three littlest ones were also awake. Grace soon followed and tucked herself into her favorite corner of the couch. We sat and waited, the kids tested their limits in exploring the gifts as Rich and I drank coffee with our feet up on the coffee table. Jacob and Ethan woke up next. Our David is the late sleeper and Rich made his yearly torturous joke about how because it’s Christmas we weren’t going to wake him up, “let the poor boy sleep in.” He has been known to sleep all the way until lunchtime so it was a relief when Seth went down to wake him up at 6:30.

We began with the stockings. Rich thought it would be funny to put a pack of rawhide bones in my stocking. At least Parker the dog ended up with something special and it was good to laugh.

Sarah is behind the box. Happiness is being small enough to get lost behind your gifts.

We had the gifts all opened by 7:30 am, but it was done with minimum stress because we tried to do things orderly as possible. David passed out the gifts and we watched the person open it before going on to the next one.

Rich and I went shopping together to get my gifts and I love the two pairs of Swarovski crystal earrings he gave me; one pair also came with a darling ear cuff. I received two books.

Here I am reading the books; one is about playful photography, the other is a photo book of French cats, both books are so so inspiring, which is contributing to my determination to ENJOY life by not only doing my duties, but having creative fun, too. I want to be wild and free at times….I miss that part of my personality….(tips?ideas?anyone feeling the same?)

David loved his soda maker, set of Calvin and Hobbes books, legos, books, and Nerf gun.

Seth’s lego set was somewhat challenging so I was called upon to help him. He was SO SO CUTE.

Frankly, I was surprised by our Caleb, who put “Star Wars lego set” on his list three times (so he got three small sets). What surprised me was that he did not rest until he had put them all together.

Ethan put his box of GAP clothes on right away, with his cross necklace and cologne. Only then did he break open his lego set of the Eiffel tower. I texted brother Dave a picture of it when it was done and he texted back; “I was at the top of it!” Jacob’s set was of the United Nations building. Anyway, the older boys didn’t even ask for legos for the first time in approximately 10 years so I bought them each one set because I was sooooooo sad.

Christmas cat #1, can I just say I am in love with cats again? So many things need to be put on hold when you having the darling BABIES……baby season is over for me so I can think about my kitty cats again. This is Snickers, our oldest, he is probably about 4 years old.

Parker the Dog was exhausted by the time everyone opened their gifts, with so much fuss first thing in the morning. He was glad to have the couch to himself.

I asked Caleb for a picture. (By the way, when the boys do lego sets they keep all the bags organized using my fiesta bowls.)

Christmas cat #2. Sarah, which was a shock to me, hated her feather boa that I gave her. I thought my girly-girl would adore feathers and silver sparkle– but no. She won’t let it touch her. However, Billy Cat loves it. We found him curled up sleeping on it, with a few wet feathers torn off. Evidently he “killed” it before he fell asleep on it.

Rich bought me the softest feeling sweater of my life. This is the only gift which was a surprise. My little Seth received a light saber (another item which we have gifted for years and years to all of our sons). I love this “baby” boy (five years old) and still make him take a nap with me whenever possible. He even has a term of endearment for me. In loving moments he calls me “moo-moo”.

A sight to stop me in my tracks. Caleb snacked on all his stocking candy during his lego-building-time. (pictured next to Grace’s little stack of gifts.) Grace has already completely read the Patricia MacLachlan book, White Fur Flying, which she said was really deep for a little kid’s book. Patricia MacLachlan wrote the beloved Sarah, Plain and Tall and I’ve been buying her books for Grace since she could read. Again, with her at 15 years old, I still couldn’t quite stop buying yet another this year (like the boys and their lego sets).

Happy Dave, busy working on a Transformer.

For my artist son, the dot to dot book was a big hit, along with new Sharpies. The dot to dot is of portraits, with about 1000 dots per picture. He practically needed a magnifying glass to complete them. He loved it.

Ethan was thrilled by his PS3, our family’s very first gaming system. It only came with one controller which was hard for him. He wanted so much for Jacob to be able to play with him. He even went online to see if Target was open on Christmas day so he could go buy one. (it wasn’t, thankfully)

It took Caleb for.ev.er. to figure out his transformer, again; I was impressed by his endurance and the robot finally turned into a hippo.

Christmas cat #3; Snickers again, sleeping under the piano bench. I love how cats can sleep anywhere.

David loves his soda machine. It is perfect present for a young scientist/inventor.

You twist the bottle three times to carbonate the wate, until it makes a funny sound (each time).

Then you add the soda syrup.

Let us talk about the weather in these parts. There was no snow on Christmas Day but……we saw rare sunshine and it was mild enough outside to be welcoming. We all went out for some fresh air.

S U N S H I N E ! ! ! ! ! !

Grace went right into the woods. She’s here someplace, you can’t see her, but she was there, walking quickly like she had a place to go and things to see.

The sparkling ribbon of stream……

Then, I went to say hello to my hens.

They gave their acknowledgments in return, the best they could.

iridescent feathers!

selfie with a (distressed) hen. They tolerate hellos but draw the line at hugs.

Then, Jacob’s Emily came for a quick visit. She came bearing gifts and sparkling good spirit. What a joy she is to us all.

She gave Parker a frosted candy-cane shaped dog treat. She spoils him. Consequently he doesn’t leave her side. (see?) She and Jacob exchanged gifts. Jacob laughed to see the candle because she was with him when he saw it at the store and admired it (it has a wick that sizzles as it burns). She had gone back to buy it for him. She also gave him a handsome black shirt. He gave her a locket.

There were two gifts labeled “To: Jacob and Emily”. The most darling thing was that they opened them at the same time together. Jacob’s hands unwrapped one end, while Emily’s hands opened the other end, perfectly fair like it was the natural thing to do. Their togetherness is so sweet.

Rich gave them books and I gave them matching shirts and socks.

The socks and shirts were from American Eagle men’s department. The socks were men’s *one size fits all* but Jacob could barely get his on and Emily’s were too big and the heels to the socks were about five inches up the backs of her legs. It was quite funny.

Well, I had to get the Christmas Ham into the oven and while I did so, people started falling asleep.

Christmas cat #4; Sherlock the orange cat slept by Rich’s legs.

I did the ham in an oven bag with sweet liquid poured over (ginger ale, maple syrup, honey, etc) pineapple and cherries pinned on with toothpicks.

Well. Over the last week I tried making candied clementines. The recipe said to boil the fruit every day for six days in a sugar syrup (20 minutes each time) and also let sit at room temp. You see the results. Not like the picture in the cookbook. MUCH uglier, like huge orange raisins. They taste okay but only in very small bites. I put them into a container and popped them in the fridge to use for scones, or muffins. It was a fun experiment and I may try again to see if I can do better.

Emily went to her Dad’s house for the rest of the day and at 4 we ate our Christmas feast; ham, homemade rolls, buttered corn, cottage cheese, and scalloped potatoes.

Rich had objected earlier to me doing so much work on Christmas day for our meal but I noticed he asked for “more ham” quite a few times, until as a joke Jacob used the meat fork to put the entire ham on his plate.

“What the Room Looked like Before Throwing Away the Wrapping Paper”

David’s new shirt; “designed to fly”.

(One time he “flew” off the porch with an umbrella!)

Ethan’s new clothes.

He is sixteen and one of the best boys in the world.

Christmas cat picture #5; a nap companion

Thus ends another photo-blog of Christmastime. What a blessing this year has been and how thankful we are for family and friends.

*****

I was able to write this downtown at the coffeeshop with Rich this afternoon. Truth be told, I was irritated by him being gone all morning for wrestling practice and then planning on taking the teens to the movies. The movie was sold out so they had to go to a later showing, which meant I got some HUSBAND TIME! He read his book while I typed, with no distractions, with coffee and chocolate. God knows what we need and will provide, Amen! Thus, my thirsty soul was refreshed and I realized it is MUCH easier to write when I’m not tempted to throw the next load in the washing machine or empty the dishwasher or vacuum or ………….

2 Corinthians 4:16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self his being renewed day by day.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Psalms 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

………….

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2014 by Shanda

with lots of love!

{this moment} times eight

Posted on December 19, 2014 by Shanda

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. inspired by soulemama

why seth is home today (the very long version)

Posted on December 18, 2014 by Shanda

All is pearly blue, silver, and sunshine outside. It’s currently 8:17 in the morning, and 32 degrees. Seth and Sarah are watching a Christmas Thomas the Tank Engine show on Netflix while Mama (in her red robe) puts her feet up and tries to get some words out of her head, through her fingers, and onto a blog post…….

Why is Seth home from school, you ask?

Grace has needed to fill her prescription for much-needed new glasses for over a month. I had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday and thought I would make use of the trip by taking her out of school to go to Lenscrafters. She also asked if she could get her hair trimmed. I was pleased to be able to take care of my beautiful, very busy daughter, but as soon as my doctor’s appointment was over, I had to take a phone call from the elementary school nurse. She told me that Seth wasn’t feeling well; he was complaining of a tummy ache.

I texted Rich; he was busy at work and couldn’t get him. Time with Grace is very rare, so I decided that the glasses were of utmost importance. We went quickly to the mall to chose a pair. I told the man that I would pick them up the next day and we left. As soon as I got the girls back in the vehicle and turned on the car, Rich texted me back and said he could get Seth after all. This was happy news, so back into the mall we went and the girls both had hair cuts. And we had time to pick up the glasses, too.

I need to tell you that I found my jar of Vitamin B12 gummy vitamins in the bathroom later, with the top secure, and with only 2 left in it. I had a panic attack as I googled “Vitamin B12 overdose” into the computer, wondering if Seth had eaten them and was sick from them….there were about 35 missing and to this day NOT ONE CHILD IS ADMITTING to eating them!! (David said he ate one). I eventually discovered that overdose can result in panic attacks and heart palpitations, because the B12 is an “energy” vitamin. Seth was doing the opposite (sleeping in my bed). They are also water-soluble which means the excess gets urinated out rather quickly. But this experience added to the drama-trauma of the evening. I took the boys to wrestling practice and went back home to my sick child.

I let Community Bible Study know that there was a possibility that I wouldn’t make it the next morning to decorate my tables for brunch or facilitate my group. I was disappointed, but by the end of the evening Seth’s fever had broke and he was acting like his normal self. He slept good that night, so I sent him to school with a note and let Paula (from CBS) know I was able to attend after all.

I did all the one million small things to get ready by 8:15 am; loaded my little gifts for the ladies into the car along with a beautiful centerpiece for the tables, cut up a pineapple, packed up the creamers, sugar, tea, coffee carafe, and so one. I took my shower, put on make up, got Sarah dressed, started my car……

AND THE NURSE CALLED ME TO COME GET SETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She said he couldn’t go back to school until his fever was gone for 24 hours.

I wasn’t going to study after all, but I couldn’t contact Paula.

Then, I thought, well…maybe my friend Caroline is available today. She usually has to work but after a text and a phone call, I found out that she was indeed home, waiting on a stove delivery. She agreed to take Seth, so I drove to school to get him, and drove to her house to leave him. Paula called me back and I told her I was running late……

I drove 40 minutes to the church, loaded my arms with all my stuff, rushed to the gym to my tables…and found that they were completely done and decorated. “Oh Shanda, I tried to call you back to let you know but you didn’t answer your phone!” My sub core leader got the message that I wasn’t coming and never got the message that I was coming, so she had decorated the tables. I felt like she was my Christmas Elf. Despite the frazzled morning I was glad to be there and the morning was a blessing to my heart and soul.

My bible study friend Lisa is a baker. She gave everyone in our group a delicious quick bread for Thanksgiving and yesterday she handed around small paper boxes decorated with glittery star stickers. She told me, “These are Homemade!” when she handed me my box.

Needless to say, after I was back home again with Seth and Sarah, I opened the little box, and almost cried. The box was filled with the most delightful darling chocolates. There were two generous layers of beautiful HOMEMADE chocolates. I squealed and exclaimed. I thought about the thank you card I would send. I couldn’t imagine the work it took to make them! I ate one; it was raspberry filled! I ate another; it was coconut! I gave one to Grace and Sarah and put the box on the bookshelf, my own personal little guilty-pleasure that I intended to savor and linger over the next few days.

entirely homemade and beautifully detailed

Eventually, David and Caleb were home, too, and it was time for me to make dinner. Rich and the boys were at wrestling practice and I had recently *dropped the ball* with dinners so I wanted to put some thought and care into the food. I roasted a chicken, filling it with three garlic cloves, salt, rosemary, and a teaspoon of balsamic vinegar. I placed a sprig of rosemary on top and basted the chicken carefully every fifteen minutes. For a side dish, I made tomato rice; 2 cups of chopped onion, a chopped yellow pepper sautéed in olive oil. I added a cup of rice, a tin of whole tomatoes, and half a tin of water and let it simmer until the rice was creamy and perfect. With a salad and the pineapple I had cut up that morning, we had a lovely meal.

But Jacob and Ethan didn’t come home. They had Subway and went back to school for the basketball game.

We have a housefly problem in the house. As I made dinner I concentrated on killing flies. My son David advised me to aim cleaning spray on them to render their wings useless; so I did that and then stepped on them. I hate the dirty flies; I am becoming obsessed with them…I imagine maggots….I MUST GET RID OF THE FLIES….I was getting up and down from a stool, bending, spraying, cleaning, killing…..

After serving the little ones their dinner (Seth had five bowls of salad and nothing else, weirdly) I was simply done with it all…done with the day…tired…head was buzzing…I collapsed on the couch with my kindle and let the kids watch a Phineas and Ferb Christmas special. When Rich came home at 7pm, he found a tired mama and five (never ever tired) children. He did enjoy my dinner, which was nice, but still I wondered, was all the fuss worth it?

I went to get a chocolate; I couldn’t find them. I looked all over the place. Nothing. I asked the family. Nothing.

I wanted one of my special, homemade chocolates. I deserved it!!

You’ll never believe.

I found the box.

I found the wrappers.

They were on the floor.

Behind the bookcase.

Every chocolate.

GONE.

I screamed.

I asked the children; their dear little faces looked at me in blank innocence.

When I showed the box to the dog he wouldn’t look at it. He wouldn’t look at me. He went straight to the door to be let out.

“I won’t make eye contact with my mom because I ate all her homemade chocolates.”

I will never get over it.

At six this morning I stumbled out of bed and came out to the living room to ask if the Dog was still alive. I’ve read everywhere that chocolate kills dogs.

He was fine.

But Seth had just thrown up.

And that is why Seth is home today.