The sun is shining through the windows this morning and the last thing Rich said to me as he drove down the road (through his open window) was, “It’s going to be a beautiful day!”  Too bad he’ll spend it all in the office and won’t be home tonight until dark.  He has had such a long week already, but we are looking forward to the three day weekend ahead.

When Rich works long hours, it takes a toll on me.  Yesterday was such a stressful day.  I’ve had a problem with the gumline next to one of my wisdom teeth since I was 9 months pregnant with Seth.  I’ve been fretting about it for months and finally, yesterday, I was able to get it looked at.  I took the children to my friend Karen’s house and went to the appointment.  The doctor numbed me up and cut away the strip of gum that was bothering me.  He said that it did not look like anything dangerous, and he told me not to worry, but I admit I will not be completely at ease until I get the biopsy results back in 10-14 days.

Our dog ran off on Tuesday and we finally located him yesterday evening….at the dog pound.  Rich is so busy that he won’t be able to get him until tomorrow. 

The children are all healthy and are enjoying the beautiful weather. 

Last night, I was so tired that all I could do when we got to bed was cry.  The pit of my stomach hurt, I felt very close to panic as my mind was spinning with so many negative thoughts, the strongest one being, “I cannot do this anymore!”  Rich had his own issues, but he pushed them aside to help me relax….finally I fell asleep, promising myself that the next day would be as slow of a day as I could possibly manage.

And now it’s morning, the start of SLOW DAY.  I am still close to tears, on edge, and so tired.  But, I have no appointments today, no plans, except to do whatever I can to enjoy the life God gave me as much as I can….my children, the beautiful weather, and HIS WORD…oh yes, that’s what I need most of all, my Bible and my journal and a good pen.

Will you pray for me today, that God would refresh this tired mama?

Thank you with much love~

Shanda

“Is today Thursday already?  I can’t believe it!  Where did yesterday go?”  ~Ethan, just a little while ago.

Oh yes, yesterday….was a tiring day for sure.  By the end of the day I was yelling.  It was a typical busy day but then at about 5:30 my patience was gone.  The house was a disaster and I started telling the children some specific chores to do.  Grace started complaining because she had to clear the table AND sweep the floor.  I was nursing Seth and started yelling….Seth was disturbed and let out his own yell (BAAAAAH!) which shocked us all.  He sounded just like me.

Then, Jacob needed help with his typing.  I put Seth down and went in my room to help him.  I was already frustrated because the website was giving us a problem and then in came Caleb to tell me, “DAVID’s CRYING!”

I heard David starting to cry hard so I ran out to the livingroom.  I didn’t see him at first so I thought he was stuck someplace, broken.  Then I saw him on the floor holding his head and crying.  I started yelling again, I was afraid, “WHAT’S WRONG?  WHAT HAPPENED?”  He answered, as he sobbed, “STOP YELLING!”  It was pitiful.  I had to say sorry to him later, after things settled down.  It turned out that he was running (YOU WERE RUNNING!  YOU KNOW DADDY DOESN’T WANT YOU RUNNING IN THE HOUSE!)to get to his chair before Caleb could get to it and he pitched into the end table cheek first.  I thought for sure his jaw was damaged.  It had instantly swelled up.  I ran to get him an ice pack and motrin and put him on the couch with a blanket.

Seth was still waiting to finish eating so I scooped him up and sat on the other couch, shaking with relief that David was okay.  Caleb was still running around so I started yelling again, “CALEB STOP RUNNING GET OVER HERE AND SIT BY ME!”  He came.  “AND STOP WIGGLING SO MUCH! SIT STILL!”  He sat still for 10 seconds before he said, “I’m thirsty, I need a drink, can I have a drink please?”  I started laughing and crying at the same time.  He stared at me.  “MOM!  You need to say YES!”  I was having a meltdown.  “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CAN GET YOU A DRINK RIGHT NOW?  I’M FEEDING SETH!”  “GO TO THE BATHROOM AND GET A DRINK OF WATER!”  So off he went.

Then, David was cold from his ice pack and wanted a bath.  He had hurt himself so I felt like I had to say yes to whatever he wanted.  So I said, “Can you do it yourself?”  He said he could and so I stayed on the couch to nurse the baby and David went off to take his own bath.

After a while, I realized Caleb hadn’t come back and so I sent Jacob to find him.  Jacob came out with Caleb, who was soaking wet, with his clothes on, from head to toe.  Also, there was water running on the floor and dripping through the floor into the basement. 

“OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!  CALEB YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!!  YOU CAN DO IT YOURSELF!”

“I can’t!  I can’t take my clothes off!”  He came near to me and got my leg wet.

Then, he accidently stepped right on my foot.  It hurt like the dickens.

“CALEB!!!!  YOU JUST STEPPED ON MY FOOT AND IT HURT!  GET THOSE CLOTHES OFF RIGHT NOW!”  I got up to get “something” (let’s call it a wooden spoon) from the kitchen.

It was amazing.  He got those clothes off in 10 seconds.  Then I had a naked little boy on my hands. 

“RUN!  RUN UPSTAIRS AND I’LL BE RIGHT UP TO GET YOU DRESSED”

(in the meantime, Jacob took care of the water downstairs)

It was at that point when I was at the end of my rope.  I got Caleb dressed (he dared to ask me if he could have a bath!  I said, “You already had one, standing up with all your clothes ON!”)

Then, I called my Mom.  I shut the door on the children in the house and sat on the porch and told her all about it.  How could she laugh like that, I don’t know.

Actually, I’m laughing about it this morning, too.

I did get dinner made.  The potatoes were done 1/2 an hour before the fish but it still tasted fine.

Rich got home at 6:30 and when we were done eating I went to bed with Seth, who FINALLY got to eat in peace and quiet, and we napped together until 8:30.  By that time the other children were in bed and the house was quiet.

All evening long, and this morning, I have this hymn in my head:

“IT WILL BE WORTH IT ALL

WHEN WE SEE JESUS!”

**************************************************************************

This morning we are getting ready to go out.  Jacob has an ORTHODONTIST appointment.  He will soon have braces.  Where is the time going?  “Just yesterday” I was chasing him around like I chase Caleb today.  Jacob loved to run at that age and was running constantly.  Now he is starting to get acne and will soon have braces.  I was crying about it last night, but this morning I’m wishing he had his driver’s license so he could drive himself to his appointment.

I have no energy to take him and 4 other children into that office this morning so I’m going to sit in the vehicle with the children and let him go in himself.

Believe it or not, we did make a nice memory yesterday.

We finally had a picnic with my special Homer Laughlin China that I bought last year for a song at an antique store.

I made a big bowl of pasta.  It was noodles, with peas, lots of butter, salt, pepper, and a few big handfuls of parmesan cheese.

And we ate it on the grass by the pond.

With Bob, the turtle

Ethan took this picture of me and my precious Jacob.  My sweater is on wrong-side out.

That’s David running behind us.  He was trying to catch turtles all afternoon, without success and saying, “I don’t know HOW I did it when I was four!”  Ethan was the one who caught Bob.

After lunch, the older children disappeared and I sat on my swing with Seth.  I could hear the little boys playing in the garage and I thought I should really go see what they were doing.

That’s what I was thinking when Jacob snuck up on me and took this picture.

It’s small wondrous moments like these that keep me going.  Sure I’m busy and sometimes yell but God is gracious, and peppers my days with many many blessings.  Blessings like the back of my little baby’s neck, just ready for my nose to sniff and my lips to kiss.

 Hello, xanga friends.  How are you?  I am fine.  This week has been busier than usual.  It seems that I’m twirling from one activity to the next…printing out coloring pages for the kids, explaining school work, laundry, cleaning, taking care of baby, meals, errands and a doctor’s appointment, gardening, reading, soothing crying children, etc.  The frustrating thing is that most of these activities are “works in progress” which means I rarely feel as though anything has gotten done!  However, I am sleeping great!

Mother’s day weekend was nice, but three of the children were sick with colds.  On Sunday morning, Rich made me breakfast in bed.  Ethan carried it in.  The children gave me gardening tools and gloves and Rich gave me a new birdfeeder.

He also hung me a clothesline.  I’ve wanted one for years and it feels so good to be hanging clothes out in the sunshine again.  The smell of clothes dried outdoors is one of my favorite scents.

I’ve found Caleb breaking apart the clothespins already and had to make a loud family announcement about that.  I usually begin those like this, “Okay!  Everybody listen!  I have something important to say to all of you!”

So, this is a picture of the side of the house.  Under the porch we have 2 entryways into the basement, where the boys have their big bedroom.  The swing is one of my favorite places to sit.  I’m planning on planting a container of pretty flowers and I also want to put a hanging basket down there. 

Here is Rich and me (from Sunday afternoon), sitting on the swing with our 2 youngest boys.  I had just returned from a walk with Seth through the woods.  In the chain by me, you can see the apple blossom that I picked and carried back with me.  I love the smell of them.

Ethan took this picture.

Next is a picture of the feeders, as seen through the dining room window. 

The circular feeder is the one Rich gave me this weekend.

We are excited that an oriole couple (orange bird in photo is the male) have been coming to enjoy the suet.

 This is a picture that I took on Monday.  The blanket on Seth was made by my Great Grandma, Seth’s Great GREAT Grandma.  She passed away a couple of years ago but my cousin sent me the blanket for Seth.  It was in Grandma’s things and my cousin knew she would want Seth to have it.  When I took it out of the box, I put my face in it and cried a little.  I love and miss my Grandma, and it means so much to have something special just for Seth that she made with her hands.

I planted 80 onion bulbs this weekend. 

On Monday, we were outside and Ethan approached me and said, “Mom one of those onion bulbs was out of the dirt so I ate it.  The whole thing.”  I was speechless.

This is a ladder-style trellis I made with sticks from the woods and some twine.  It is as tall as I am.  I will plant vines (I have some morning glory seeds) and train them up the trellis this summer.

On Saturday morning, I went to a tag sale/bake sale at a local church.  It was about five minutes from our house.  I took Jacob and Grace with me.  We found a couple of things, but I spent most of my money

on

CUPCAKES.

I could not resist them.

The frosting on the strawberry ones was perfect…light and creamy and sweet.  I ate 2 right away with my eyes shut.  The pink ones were for Grace.  Not all of them, of course.  I was going to buy one batch, but she wanted the pink and I wanted the strawberry so we bought both. 

This next picture is for Mother of Encouragement, who enjoys and collects children’s books that were illustrated by Eloise Wilkin, just like I do.  I bought this book for 50 cents at the tag sale.

The last three pictures are from my walk with Seth.  He was in the Ergo baby carrier as I walked and I even had to nurse him at one point.  I had a chuckle over that.  Must I always multi-task?

This is a “Jack in the Pulpit”

More wild violets.  I just read today that they are edible.  Leaves and blossoms.  I don’t know if I could eat them.  It would be sort of like eating a pretty friend.   (after I wrote this, I went for a walk with Caleb and saw some more violets.  I decided to try one.  It tasted sort of like clover blossoms.  I agree w/Danishdoll, they would look so pretty in a salad.)

And some pretty, uncurling ferns:

Well, Ethan just walked in with my little double chinned dumpling.  I must go….

Love,

~Shanda

PS, Seth says hi.

I wish you,
Clocks that run slowly
As the years pass by
And music played softly
For you to dream by.

I wish you,
New seasons and dreams
With your love close by;
Starshine and moonbeams,
Blessings from on high.

I wish you,
All the joy a heart can hold
With faith to lead the way;
Wishes come true–a hundred-fold
And a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

~Irene Lawson

I’m a mom.

That’s why I cried when I went through Davy-do’s backpack yesterday and found treasures that he made me in school…

treasures like this:

 I laughed and cried over this next one…you should have seen David’s bright eyes when I stood up and showed his brothers and sister this page.  I carried it around with me yesterday afternoon to look at over and over.

David thinks I make the best brownies!  Look at my hair and my green dress!  I do declare, I’m swinging my hips!  I’m happy and dancing!  And I’m carrying my brownies high on a platter!  This picture is going to be framed and put in the kitchen.

He also brought me home a teabag with instructions to drink it with him.

So we did, right away.  It was peach tea.  He chose it himself.

I went shopping yesterday and bought Sethie some new sleepers.  I like the 3-in-a-pack Gerber sleepers that ZIP instead of snap…(those crazy numerous snaps on sleepers stress me out!).  He is wearing size 6-9 months now!  I also bought 7 bibs, because he drools so much.

Seth slept all night again last night (for the 2nd time).  Rich went to get him out of his bed at about 5:30 and I fed him in bed with us and he slept some more. 

Last night, Rich took some pictures of me with the children.

 Caleb makes me laugh in this one, because of his rolling eyes, his silly grin, and his foot in brother’s lap.

BECAUSE I’M A MOM:

I have to remove rubber duckies from the tub before I take my bath.

I hurt my feet by stepping on legos and army men.

I’ve gotten used to the sound of the boys fighting with their light sabors.

I find myself humming “Thomas the Tank Engine” songs.  AND I know ALL the names of the trains.

I get excited over light-up sneakers.

I laugh A LOT.

I cry sometimes, too.

I became a photographer.

I make a lot of cookies.

I make the best brownies.

I’ve watched Toy Story more times than I can count.

I care about the nutritional content of canned fruit.

Seeing how tall my boys are getting makes me want to cry. 

I would do anything to keep my children safe.

I see things with new eyes.

I experience intense emotion.

I can’t let the medicine cupboard run out of bandaids.

I do laundry so much, I can do it without thinking.

I can’t do anything or go anywhere without thinking of THEM.

I’ve found 1001 more ways to love my husband.

I’ve discovered my own weakness and strengths.

I’ve read The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Mother Goose, The Little Red Hen, and other favorite books hundreds of times.

I’ve learned to trust in God in ways I never would if I didn’t have children.

I understand my own mother better.

I cry over sappy commercials.  (just like she does)

I home-school.

I’m tired.

I think about sleep too much.

I didn’t know it was possible to feel so fulfilled and content, yet weak and inadequate at the same time.

Verses for mothers (or, answers to the question I get asked a lot, “How do you do it?”)

“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of GOD.”  11 Cor. 3:4,5

“My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.  He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:  he that keepeth thee will not slumber.”  Psalms 121:2,3

“I can do all things through CHRIST which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

“And he said unto me, My grace is suffiient for thee:  for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”  11 Cor. 12:9

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16

Do I hear an AMEN? 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thank you for reading me stories
And taking care of me.
Thank you for tying my shoes
And putting bandages on my knee.

Thank you for tucking me into bed
And kissing me good night
Thank you so much for all your hugs
And holding my hand so tight.

Thank you for being my mommy
And that’s not all I have to say.
Thank you so much for all you do
And have a Happy Mother’s Day!

(from David’s book he made me)

I wish you,
Clocks that run slowly
As the years pass by
And music played softly
For you to dream by.

I wish you,
New seasons and dreams
With your love close by;
Starshine and moonbeams,
Blessings from on high.

I wish you,
All the joy a heart can hold
With faith to lead the way;
Wishes come true–a hundred-fold
And a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

~Irene Lawson

I’m a mom.

That’s why I cried when I went through Davy-do’s backpack yesterday and found treasures that he made me in school…

treasures like this:

 I laughed and cried over this next one…you should have seen David’s bright eyes when I stood up and showed his brothers and sister this page.  I carried it around with me yesterday afternoon to look at over and over.

David thinks I make the best brownies!  Look at my hair and my green dress!  I do declare, I’m swinging my hips!  I’m happy and dancing!  And I’m carrying my brownies high on a platter!  This picture is going to be framed and put in the kitchen.

He also brought me home a teabag with instructions to drink it with him.

So we did, right away.  It was peach tea.  He chose it himself.

I went shopping yesterday and bought Sethie some new sleepers.  I like the 3-in-a-pack Gerber sleepers that ZIP instead of snap…(those crazy numerous snaps on sleepers stress me out!).  He is wearing size 6-9 months now!  I also bought 7 bibs, because he drools so much.

Seth slept all night again last night (for the 2nd time).  Rich went to get him out of his bed at about 5:30 and I fed him in bed with us and he slept some more. 

Last night, Rich took some pictures of me with the children.

 Caleb makes me laugh in this one, because of his rolling eyes, his silly grin, and his foot in brother’s lap.

BECAUSE I’M A MOM:

I have to remove rubber duckies from the tub before I take my bath.

I hurt my feet by stepping on legos and army men.

I’ve gotten used to the sound of the boys fighting with their light sabors.

I find myself humming “Thomas the Tank Engine” songs.  AND I know ALL the names of the trains.

I get excited over light-up sneakers.

I laugh A LOT.

I cry sometimes, too.

I became a photographer.

I make a lot of cookies.

I make the best brownies.

I’ve watched Toy Story more times than I can count.

I care about the nutritional content of canned fruit.

Seeing how tall my boys are getting makes me want to cry. 

I would do anything to keep my children safe.

I see things with new eyes.

I experience intense emotion.

I can’t let the medicine cupboard run out of bandaids.

I do laundry so much, I can do it without thinking.

I can’t do anything or go anywhere without thinking of THEM.

I’ve found 1001 more ways to love my husband.

I’ve discovered my own weakness and strengths.

I’ve read The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Mother Goose, The Little Red Hen, and other favorite books hundreds of times.

I’ve learned to trust in God in ways I never would if I didn’t have children.

I understand my own mother better.

I cry over sappy commercials.  (just like she does)

I home-school.

I’m tired.

I think about sleep too much.

I didn’t know it was possible to feel so fulfilled and content, yet weak and inadequate at the same time.

Verses for mothers (or, answers to the question I get asked a lot, “How do you do it?”)

“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of GOD.”&nbsp
; 11 Cor. 3:4,5

“My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.  He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:  he that keepeth thee will not slumber.”  Psalms 121:2,3

“I can do all things through CHRIST which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

“And he said unto me, My grace is suffiient for thee:  for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”  11 Cor. 12:9

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16

Do I hear an AMEN? 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thank you for reading me stories
And taking care of me.
Thank you for tying my shoes
And putting bandages on my knee.

Thank you for tucking me into bed
And kissing me good night
Thank you so much for all your hugs
And holding my hand so tight.

Thank you for being my mommy
And that’s not all I have to say.
Thank you so much for all you do
And have a Happy Mother’s Day!

(from David’s book he made me)

Guess who had a birthday yesterday?

I was sleepy all day and *really really* did not *at all* want to celebrate the dog’s birthday.  However, as the day slipped by, and the raw turkey sat on the counter waiting, I realized that I would regret it if we didn’t get busy making Parker his birthday cake.

Jacob did it all, actually.  He tipped the meat from it’s packaging onto a plate (yes, it was fiestaware, *sigh*).  Then, he made an icing out of powdered sugar and water.  Ethan was ready with some sprinkles and Grace was ready with dog treats and just like that, the cake was decorated.  At the last moment, Jacob decided to put a raw hot dog on either side of “the cake”.

I grabbed my camera, we called the little boys, and away we went, down to the utterly confused dog’s house.

We sang “Happy Birthday” and I took pictures from a distance.

The children absolutely LOVED it.

Why why why do I do things like this?  I’ll tell you why…….

Because it’s FUN!  I dare you not to laugh while you watch your dog eat raw hot dogs off his birthday cake.

And, because we are making memories!  When the children are all grown up, I just know this will be one of their favorite events to remember.  When my children are grown and gone, it will be one of the things I think about that will make me smile and miss them.  I won’t remember being so tired, but I will remember those little excited voices, the bare feet, the dog’s tail wagging, and the joy of the moment.  I won’t regret it one bit.

“Eighteen years, maybe twenty:  that’s about all the time you will have to prepare your kids to be happy, responsible, independent, peace-loving citizens of the world into which they were born.  That might seem like a reasonably long time on the day you bring that little bundle of joy home from the hospital–but in the scheme of things, it’s really just a blink.  One blink–that’s all the time you have to go after moments of joy, moments of love, moments of learning with a deep resolve to get and give all you can, while you can.”  from 101 Things you should do Before Your Kids Leave Home, by David Borden and Tom Winters

My dear friend (and cousin!) Elisha was here from Sunday to Tuesday afternoon.  As always, we had a nice time together talking, laughing, singing, hanging out, spending time with the children.

We went for a walk together on Sunday.

It was cool and damp, and it lightly rained on and off. 

The ferns were slowly opening.

We found wild violets by the stream.

They were light purple, with a darker purple center.

We decided this was the perfect place for a little woodland creature….quite cozy, I’m sure.

And we even stood still and listened to a bright red male cardinal call and sing.  It’s mate answered in the distance.

I picked myself a small bouquet of wild flowers.

My husband is away on a business trip and it was wonderful to have Elisha here to keep us company while he was away (he’ll be back tonight).  She has such a loving heart, and was ready to laugh and have fun with me and my household of children!  We were all sorry when she had to go back home.