I’m feeling insecure and nervous this morning.  I’m so sick and tired of feeling this way.  It’s hard to be patient sometimes.

Rich left this morning and won’t be back until Thursday. 

I cried trying to help Jacob with his math.  I ended up just telling him to put it away for another day.  I wish I did not have to homeschool.  I feel so inadequate.

Seth is napping.  I got frustrated nursing him this morning because he was fussy through it.  I don’t know why he does that sometimes….maybe he isn’t hungry?  Maybe it’s gas?  All I know is that there have been several feedings like that lately, so that I do not know what to expect when I sit down with him. 

Caleb is playing out on the porch with his trains.

I just warmed up some soup and am going to go outside, hoping the sun and fresh air will revive me.

Saturday and Sunday were such nice days that we were able to be outside quite a bit.  I went on a walk on Saturday with Rich, David, and Caleb, while baby Seth took a nap. 

Walking with my husband is just like walking with the boys, only the dead trees that he picks to push over are much taller. . . . . .here is one starting to fall, just after he pushed it.

He had a fascinated audience. . .David and Caleb stood still, watched, and were quite impressed. 

And David immediately wanted to find himself a tree to push over.

So his Daddy helped him find one.

Very satisfying.

Caleb had the quote of the walk when he said, “OH!  THE SUN!  It’s shining in my eyes!  The sun is out!”  He was so excited and he reminded me of myself….I do the same thing when the sun appears after cloudy days.

On Sunday, the weather was even nicer.  The long pond is thawed, but the smaller swimming pond still has ice.  The children absolutely loved the spring feeling in the air, but Rich and I still did not think David should have stripped all his clothes off—all but his undies—to splash in the pond water.  Rich went right out on the porch to tell David to get his clothes back on.  Shocking.

It was a milestone day for the children, because they caught the first tadpoles of the year.  Jacob had a plastic dogfood scoop, David had an old cake pan, and Ethan had an old pot.  The water was so icy cold that they didn’t want to use their hands. 

Here’s the first catch.  Jacob made Caleb look at them, but so far Caleb does not want to be part of the action.  We studied the tadpoles to see if they were getting their back legs yet.  It’s amazing that these things turn into perfectly proportionate frogs later on.  They hardly resemble them now.

As you can see, Grace also tried going without warm clothes, too.  She wore shorts and a t-shirt.  She was the first one to go inside, “I’m cold, my hands are freezing from that water”. . .here she is, looking into the big plastic tub that they were putting their tadpoles in.  She made David upset because she dumped them back into the pond too soon.  I think she was feeling motherly and felt sorry for them.

Happy Spring days.  Good days to be a kid.  Good days to be a mom, watching.

As for me, I am hopeful that I am finally coming out of my week-long funk.  Yesterday at church I felt weepy and out of sorts, but my sister once again came to my rescue and sat with us in the pew…and went out with me when I had to go sit in the nursing room to feed Seth.  “Just sit and talk to me about happy things” I said to her, and since she is the talkative cheerful sort she did just that. 

When we came home from church, I was still feeling nervous and anxious, but by the end of the day I was relieved to be feeling calmer inside.  I kept a detailed diary during baby David’s early days and I took some time to read it yesterday.  It helped so much, because I felt so many of the same feelings back then, and I could read and see for sure that the heavily anxious times do go away with some time and patience. 

And, as a special blessing, Seth only woke up one time last night.  It was the most peaceful night I’ve had in a while.  We went to bed at 10, Seth woke up at 1:30.  I determined to enjoy t
he time with him, I got myself a snack and cozied up with him on the couch.  By 2:15 he was back to bed, with his suckie.  I went to bed, fell back to sleep, and the next thing I knew, Rich’s alarm was going off at 5:30.  He got up to go make coffee and found Seth just beginning to fuss and cry.  So, I got up and fed him, happy that he had slept so well.  5:30 may sound early, but it’s a good time for me because that way I can see my husband before he goes to work, and have some quiet time before the others wake up at 7.

This week my sister is coming over on Wednesday.  I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for that day and she is going to watch the kids for me.  Then, on Thursday, the doula is scheduled to be here at 10.  Rich is taking Friday off from work and that is the day the maids will deep clean our house.  So, there are things to look forward to and for that I am deeply grateful. 

I am thankful for the prayers of my friends that read my blog.  When I think of all the people who are praying for me, from places that I have never been to, I am overwhelmed.  It just amazes me, that because of the internet, we Christians have the opportunity to support, encourage, and lift one another up.  Thank you for that, and please know that I will gladly do the same for you, when you too need some extra love and prayer.

Speaking of prayer, my parents have asked for some…..for their beloved Pastor Steensma.  Some of you may remember me asking for prayer for him this summer.  I even signed your names to a card for him, and he later told my parents it was one of his few memories of that time.  Anyway, he is a life-long diabetic, in his mid-50’s, and has been having some serious heath concerns relating to his diabetes.  Currently, he is in the hospital, seriously ill with a fever, having some trouble with a foot, and a blood clot in one of his legs.  He is in great need of your prayers, please lift him and his family up to the Lord, and ask God for healing for him.  Thank you so very much.

God has put this following song in my heart lately and I’ve been meditating on the words.  It’s the hymn, “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty” and there are other stanzas, but these are the ones that have especially touched my soul:

Praise to the Lord, who o’er all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen
How thy desires e’er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord, who with marvelous wisdom hath made thee,
Decked thee with health, and with loving hand guided and stayed thee!
How oft in grief
Hath not He brought thee relief,
Spreading His wings for to shade thee!

Here’s to a good week! 

Much love~

Shanda

This week has been a hard one for me, emotionally and physically.  It’s almost as if my body and mind said, “Okay, that’s enough” and just basically stopped feeling good…..it’s been so hard.  .

I started having nights of insomnia.  Take away my ability to sleep and I turn into a mess.  Panic, anxiety, fretting, guilt, tears…..why why why am I all of a sudden like this?

(Rich was gone this week…I had two days and two nights on my own, taking care of everything here.  I think that is what pushed me to my limits.  I had to go out with all the children on Monday, to David’s school.  The older kids had art and then I went to the library with the three little ones, carrying that heavy infant carseat.  I don’t think I should have done those things.)

Today is Friday.  I’m sitting in the chair in my robe, my hair pulled up in a messy ponytail.  Caleb woke up wet, so he has clean clothes on already, and his bedding is in the washer.

I made the kids scrambled eggs for breakfast.  David has been asking for them for days.  Grace cracked the dozen eggs for me.  They’ve all had their breakfast and their milk and/or juice and their toast and David is on his way to school on the bus.  Table is cleared, dishwasher is filled.

Jacob, Ethan, and Grace are busy cleaning their rooms.  I have someone coming here today, at 10:30, to look at the house.  I am going to hire a cleaning service.  I’m not sure how often I will be able to have them come, it depends on the price.  Rich said, “Do what you need to do, and don’t worry about the cost.”  (EDIT: The maids have been hired!  And they will come every other week for now.  The cost was much less than I imagined, and I am thrilled to say the least.)

I’m also in the process of trying to find a doula (thanks to my xanga friend Danielle for the suggestion!).  I spoke with someone yesterday who was encouraging to me, and she said that it would do me so much good to have some extra help for a few weeks (or longer).  The doula would come once or twice a week, for at least 4 hours at a time, and would help me with light housework, children, running errands, and meals.  I am somewhat hesitant about having a stranger in the home, but I hope and pray that whoever the Lord sends here (if it works out) will be a friend from the beginning and willing to work hard for me.

I’ve been working very hard here ever since Seth was born.  I guess I’ve been doing too much.  I like to work, because it makes me feel normal and gives me a feeling of accomplishment.  But this week I have gotten to the point of utter exhaustion, so tired that I can’t settle down to sleep and then my mind goes and goes. . .such negative thoughts, bad thoughts whirling around in my head that I can’t seem to stop.  I pray and tell God about it, but there are times when even that doesn’t seem to help.

The children still make me smile.  My heart still feels joy over my baby.  I do have times when I feel normal.  For that I am thankful.

My lips (this is sort of funny) are sore, I realized yesterday when they started to hurt, that I’ve been pulling my lips in and biting them in my stress, over and over until now they hurt!!! 

I started a low dose antidepressant medication yesterday morning.  I hesitate to admit that.  For some reason, it makes me feel weak and guilty to admit that I’m on medication, despite the fact that I’ve been on it 2 other times after 2 of my other babies.  During this time of my insecurites, I have relied on the judgement of the people in my life that I love & trust the most (my husband, my parents, and my closest friends) –they have all encouraged me and tell me that it’s a good idea.  I am so thankful that I live in a time and place where this option–of medication– is available!!  PPD is a very real thing!  And not fun to get through.

I just do not have the time to feel this way.  I have to be well.  I cannot spend any of my newborn’s early life a miserable mess.  I want to remember these days with fullness of joy, not heartache.

I thank you for all your prayers and encouragement here.  I know that God is answering them.  I don’t know why I’m in this low point, except that maybe God brought me here so that I would ask for help, and let people take care of me. 

My sister was here yesterday for about four hours and I spent most of that time resting.  She is coming over again today.  I can’t thank her enough. 

My angel of a sister:

Rich is working so hard during the day, but has found a way to help me at night and he is happy to do it.  He sleeps on the couch with Seth nearby, in his playpen.  When Seth wakes up, Rich brings him to me so I can feed him.  After his feeding, I take him back out to the livingroom and put him in his playpen.  Then, I get a snack for myself and go right back to bed.  If Seth is a stinker and doesn’t go right back to sleep, Rich takes care of him.  This takes so much worry off me, knowing that I won’t have to get up again.  Now, if only I can fall back to sleep, I’d really be in good shape.  Last night I just tossed and turned.  However, I think I did get about 5 hours of total sleep.

Rich actually ENJOYS the night times with Seth.  It is helping the bonding process, because Rich does not get to spend as much time with baby during the day.  Seth looks just like his Daddy and Rich is so so proud of him!

My mom is also a huge encouragement to me, she told me to start reading in bed again, which she knows relaxes me.  TeaLady, do you see what I chose to read?  LM Montgomery is a tried and true “friend”.  Just as cozy as a warm blanket . . . . .

Also, my friend Christie each day has sent me such reassuring, caring emails.  THANK YOU CHRISTIE

Hannah has sent me so many notes and letters, I smile whenever I get the mail and see another envelope from Alaska, thank you Hannah!

I will say, Rich has another business trip next week that I am aching over.  He will leave Tuesday night and get back on Thursday night….which means three nights of evening/night hours without him.  I honestly do not know how I will get through that.  Just thinking about it makes me panic.  Rich feels terrible but there is nothing we can do. 

Okay.  Enough.  Now for some pictures.

Oh the neck….is so cute!

Those happy eyes.  Who’s my pretty baby?

Look at his thumbs!  Gripped so tightly in those little fists!  Oh, the little love . . . .

Amanda just called me to see if I needed anything at the store before she leaves to come over.  She sounds bright and happy this morning and had another good idea for me—she said that our local grocery store has a service in which we can order groceries and pay for them online, and then all we would have to do is drive over to pick them up.  She also reminded me that I am doing great… and that any mom with five children plus a newborn would need help and a support group.  Silly me, I’ve been trying to do much on my own…and now I am in the process of surrounding myself with HELPERS.  Hope….is a wonderful thing! 

Okay, I must go……Seth is awake and ready for breakfast #2.

Love, Shanda

PS…….

Jacob took this picture, we are both proud of it.  I so wanted one, of my little Seth yawning. 

I’ll be back when my head clears. . . .I’m. just. so. tired. 

Exhausted.  Head is ringing.  Eyes hurt.  Can’t remember stuff.  All that.

  Shanda

Gorgeous early spring day today!

Several of my children went barefoot. . . . . . .

One of them ran around with just his pants on.

And one got all muddy.

Yes, it’s been a nice day.  Rich was home and we had a good time together, as a family.  I’ll have more pictures tomorrow or Monday, of our trip to Crackerbarrel and Old Sturbridge Village. 

Don’t forget to change your clocks!

~Shanda

Is my coffee done yet?

Rich reminded me this morning that it was Friday.  I had forgotten the day of the week.

I have also forgotten how time-consuming a newborn is.  This week has been a good week, but with sleep deprivation my emotions are sometimes up and down like a roller coaster.

For instance, the first thing I did this morning as I got out of bed, was cry.  I went to bed last night at 9:30 and probably fell asleep about 10.  Seth woke up at 12:20, and after taking care of him and going back to bed I probably fell back to sleep around 1:15.  Then, he woke up again at 3:30.  After that feeding, it took a little longer to get him back to sleep so I wasn’t able to fall back to sleep in my own bed until about 5. . .Rich’s alarm soon went off and he was in our room/bathroom getting ready for work.  He left at about 6 and I got out of bed crying (and praying!) because I knew there was no chance that I could get any more sleep.  I was crying and counting on my fingers how many hours I would have to get through until Rich came back home again (12).  Then, I tried counting how many hours of sleep I got.  There was too much adding and subtracting in that problem.  Math in the morning is never a good idea for me. 

So, my emotions were down but soon they were up again.  When Seth woke up this morning at about 6:15, I was instantly cooing over him and kissing his cheeks, and walking him around a little, he surprised me once again with how incredibly CUTE he is. . . .my tears soon went away as I fussed over my baby, changing his diaper, feeding him again, holding his little warm body close to my own.  Enjoying the 45 minutes of time with him before the rest of the kids got up.

See what I mean about a roller coaster? 

I love having so many children, because once they are up in the morning I have a hard time concentrating on my own issues.  I laugh at the things they say.  For instance, Jacob made himself some hashbrowns this morning.  They were the frozen kind that you have to fry in a skillet on the stovetop.  It was the first time he made them, and as he and Ethan sat together at the table eating their hashbrowns and eggs, Jacob sighed and said, “These would have been much better if a PROFESSIONAL had made them, like Mom.  For instance, as you can see, these hashbrowns are about 5 different colors, including black.”  My attempts to cheerfully tell him how good they looked, “. . .so nice and crispy!” . . . .did not convince him that they were satisfactory.

Caleb just said to me from across the room, “I’m picking my nose, and…..it’s starting to be better.”  Then he went back to humming a song.  (He scraped the bridge his nose this week and there’s a scab that I keep telling him NOT TO TOUCH.)  I think he felt a little guilty and needed to tell me that he picked it again.  “My boo-boo is getting smaller!” was what he said next (smaller b/c the scab is smaller?) 

Grace made herself eggs this morning and then came to me and said very quietly (I can’t hardly ever hear her when she talks). . . .“I think I’m sick.”  You’re SICK?  “well, I’m not going to throw up but I don’t think I can eat my eggs because when I tried to eat them I started to throw up.”  What?  I don’t understand what you are saying.  Are you sick or aren’t you?  “I think I am.  My stomach hurts.”   She went to bed sick for about 15 minutes and then she was back up, too bored and not sick enough to want to stay there.  She is now playing Army with Jacob and Ethan.  She’s the cook.  Jacob is back into playing Army men rather than legos.  I never thought he’d get over the lego phase but he did.  It’s now nothing but Army guys.

So, back to what I was saying.  A newborn baby is a full time job.  Now that Caleb (my old baby) is all but ignored by his Mama, he is best friends with Davy-do instead.  And I’ll tell you, there is no end to the things they come up with.  It’s cute so far, all the talking they do with each other and all the running around.  Caleb came to me yesterday and said, “Where’s DAVID?”  “He’s at school, Caleb.”  “I want him to come home so he can play with me.”   Precious.

I took this picture yesterday:

David plus Caleb, a fun combination.

See that strip of wood that runs down the left hand side?  They love to let cars go at the top of the stairs.  The cars go flying and then crash onto the tile floor at the bottom of the stairs.  They also love to say, “SUPER FAST!!” and then slide on their bottoms down the stairs like you see in the picture.

I had to keep getting them out of the bathroom yesterday, too.  I kept finding them locked in together, washing match box cars in the sink.  Perfectly CLEAN cars were getting washed over and over and my new bottle of liquid hand soap was used all up.

I also caught them warming up broccoli in the microwave.  David got it out of the fridge and put it in the microwave himself.  Then they got on the counter to wait.  Ido not know how Caleb got up there.

David considered, and decided it was done.

Once it was cooked to their satisfaction, David said to Caleb, “You stay there, I’ll go get us FORKS.” And then they snacked together….and when they were done guess what they did?  Yep.  They had a wild  “fork fight” that I quickly put an end to.

I’m secretly quite pleased, that they both love broccoli.

I have also been dealing with sickness.  Thankfully I personally am not sick.  But, Jacob had the stomach bug this week.  This week was also included “Days of Ethan’s Mysterious Rash”.  With being exhausted, coupled with the mama bear instinct of wanting to protect a newborn, th
ese sicknesses were enough to make me panic.  Ethan, poor boy, must have had some kind of allergic reaction because for 2 nights and an entire day he was suffering from terrible itch and terrible rash.  The mysterious part was that it started on his face and traveled down his body, clearing up as it went along.  It was terribly itchy but he had no other symptoms.  I was busy looking up rashes in my child care book and online, and filling my mind with hundreds of horrible things it could possibly be.  Rich kept telling me I was over-reacting and that it was nothing.  I was imagining my children all coming down with some strange unusual disease that would take the life of my newborn baby.  Is that horrible or what?  Thankfully Ethan was better in 24 hours and woke up yesterday on his birthday all better.  And I assure you, his smile was bright.  It took me a few hours to believe him, and to believe that Jacob and Grace were not getting it.  I kept jumping up to check behind their ears and asking them if they were itchy. 

Did you ever notice, when you think about itches, you begin to itch?  I bet you’re itching something right now.

And now I expect Grace is coming down with the stomach bug which means the last one to get it will be David.

Other random photos:

Seth is starting to notice the toys that dangle over his lamb swing:

Next is Ethan, with his cake.  Although I was a big grump by the end of the day yesterday, I still managed to take a picture and think sentimental thoughts about how wonderful birthdays are, with brothers and a sister to share them. 

I don’t know if you can see, but I am in the mirror in the background.  I have Seth up on my shoulder, which I had forgotten until I saw the photo this morning.  It makes me laugh, how many things we mamas do with a baby in our arms.  The only thing I can’t do, is type.  If you get a comment from me on your blog that looks funny (no capital letters, and funky abbreviations)  it’s b/c Seth is in my arms.

The cake?  It was an ice cream cake, and it was good.

Now we will talk about the weather.  It is mild outside this morning, and tomorrow we are supposed to have a high of 60 degrees.

We still have a snow cover on the yard but the boys are enjoying the milder temperatures.  I took these pictures about an hour ago:

This picture makes me laugh. 

My handsome boys, getting ready for battle.

Next picture is of Seth, this morning.  The outfit is a little large.  His feet don’t stay where they are supposed to.

He loves his pacifier (we call them suckies at our house) and I don’t know what I would do without it.  It makes him happy when nothing else works. 

Well, that’s about it here.  It’s after 10 and I still need to get dressed.  But, I needed to sit here and write more than I needed to be clean.  Blogging was the priority!  So, now it’s time to shower and I hope I can do that before Seth wakes up again.

Before I go, I wanted to share a quote.  I’ve been reading the 1689 Baptist Confession of Faith, (updated in today’s English) and my heart was so thrilled and lifted up as I read this about GOD.  Any trial, any trouble, anything in this world, seems so much smaller as I soak in these truths:

There is but one, and only one, living and true God.

He is self-existent and infinite in His being and His perfections.

None but He can comprehend or understand His essence.

He is pure spirit, invisible, and without body, parts, or the changeable feelings of man. (isn’t that comforting?)

He alone possesses immortality, and dwells amid the light insufferably bright to mortal men.

He never changes.

He is great beyond all our conceptions, eternal, incomprehensible, almighty and infinite.

His is most holy, wise, free and absolute.

All that He does is the out-working of His changeless, righteous will, and for His own glory.

He is most loving, gracious, merciful and compassionate.

He abounds in goodness and truth.

He forgives iniquity, transgression and sin.

He rewards those who seek Him diligently.

But He hates sin.

He will not overlook guilt or spare the guilty, and he is perfectly just in executing judgement.

God is all-sufficient, and all life, glory, goodness and blessedness are found in Him and in Him alone.

He does not stand in need of any of the creatures that He has made, nor does He derive any part of His glory from them.  On the contrary, He manifests His own glory in and by them.

He is the fountain-head of all being, and the origin, channel and the end of all things.

Over all His creatures He is sovereign.  He uses them as He please, and does for them or to them all that He wills.

His sight penetrates to the heart of all things.

His knowledge is infinite and infallible.

No single thing is to Him at risk or uncertain, for He is not dependent upon created things.

In all His decisions, doings and demands He is most holy.

Angels and men owe to Him as their creator all worship, service and obedience, and whatever else He may require at their hands.

Beautiful words, comforting promises, wouldn’t you agree?

seth woke up must go 4 now……..have a grt day!

luv, s

Happy Birthday Ethan!

One of the nicest, sweetest, bestest boys

in the whole wide world turns 11 today.

I don’t have much time to blog, as I sit here I feel rushed to get on with the next activity….to eat my lunch!

Our weekend was nice and it felt great to get out of the house.  We ran errands on Saturday and made it out to church on Sunday.  I loved going to church and seeing my church family.  I held Seth through the service and tried to pay attention to the sermon.    Every one agreed that he looked like he belonged to our family.

Here are some family pictures from the weekend, and this morning.  None of them are staged, these were moments too cute to pass up, moments when we said, “Where’s the camera?!?!” so we could capture the memory.

Davy and Seth.  Grace’s knee, my hand.  During “admiring the baby time”.

Whenever I place Seth on the floor, a sibling soon joins him.

Grace thought it was cute that Seth got a hold of her hair.

I thought Grace made a pretty picture as she worked on emptying the dishwasher.

She has to climb in order to do her job.

Rich took this one.  The look on Caleb’s, I mean Seth’s, face makes us laugh.

He’s learning to hold his head up over my shoulder tall and strong.

He’s soooooooooooo cute!

More snow.  Rich worked from home yesterday and David had no school.

Oh wait, this next one is staged.  LOL

This quilt came in the mail yesterday.

It was made for him by his Great Grandma, who is in her 90’s.

When will my baby sleep longer than 3 hours at a time?

When I get up at night (two times still) I am half asleep.

I took this next picture this morning, when I was awake enough to notice Seth’s my little piggy’s face.

His dirtiness made me laugh and  it’s obvious he’s happy/content with his “midnight” meals.

Here is Seth after he got cleaned up.

David visited him during “blanket time” and introduced him to BUZZ LIGHTYEAR.

This is the back of Seth’s new quilt.  I love the frog/turtle theme.  Perfect for my boy.

Davy adores little Seth.

Thanks for stopping by my blog for a visit. 

How are you all doing?

Much love, ~Shanda

Today, I feel much much better so I can tell you some of what was “wrong” with me without those crazy exhausted emotions getting in the way.

I WAS/AM HOMESICK….for my home-state, my home-town, my family. . . . . I wish I was in NY again!

When I had Jacob and Ethan, Rich and I lived in our first house in NY, near our families.  What I miss the most about that time was seeing my family any ol’ time I wanted to, and also having them come and visit me.  There is no one like your family if you come from a loving Christian home. 

Instead, I am here in CT.  Thankfully, my sister is nearby, which helps so much, but we are both currently in stages of life where it is almost impossible to hang around, visiting.  We are here in CT because of my husband’s job.  He has an awesome job that enables me to be a stay-at-home mama, and enables us to homeschool our children and buy the things we need to take care of our family.  We have an awesome house and the great outdoors is perfect for exploring and enjoying God’s creation.  But, at the same time……my husband has to work long hours, and is never free from his laptop, and blackberry.  And, I think, how much easier it would be if only I had my family to fall back on during the times that he is so busy.  I feel alone at this time with a newborn,  because I feel like there is no where for me to go (make that no where I want to go!  I did try the library the other day, and that didn’t help much), and no mom or aunts to come visit me ……like the “olden days”.

**sigh**

So that was that.  I realized, also, that there really is no point in thinking about the past, with longing.  I lived it already, enjoyed it, and now God wants me here.  I suppose that I have learned to lean on HIM in ways I never could have if we had stayed in NY.  “Back Home” would never be free from it’s own problems and struggles, as well.  “Back Home” wouldn’t mean perfect contentment, because that will never come until Jesus returns and makes all things new again.  I’m just saying, these are the honest thoughts that are in my heart.  I do, sometimes, wish we were still in NY.  I’m sure everyone who has ever “transplanted” feels that same way.  Yes?  “Bloom where you’re planted” is the advice given to anyone moving. . . .and it’s true, we do need to grow and flourish in our new environments, and in any change, but that doesn’t mean we don’t think about what we’ve left behind now and then.

So now that it’s Friday, I’m feeling better, perking up and looking forward to the weekend.  This week was hard because Rich was gone for 2 days and 2 nights and that is basically what set me off in my thinking about NY.  The kids don’t want to move, which makes me laugh.  They want to stay here where “all their friends are”. 

Going on a walk always cheers me up so let’s go!

Just outside my side door entry, I was astounded (last week) when I noticed some bulbs coming up!  Here in New England, every little bit of green is enough to make us smile. . . . .

I also noticed the Lady’s Mantle coming up.

One of the things that I find so comforting about my relationship with the Lord, is knowing that He will bring each season back, in it’s turn.  Spring will always come, sure as can be.  We can trust Him and His perfect timing.

The stream is a happy place to be, with it’s cool air, and sound of rushing water.

I like the darkness of the woods, with just enough beams of sunlight to make it all the more desired.

You just want to find those patches of sun, and stand in them.  You want to search out the brightest part of the water, and admire the reflection of the yellow sun. . . . .

I had to figure out how to cross the stream, because it was closer to the house that way and I was getting nervous about leaving the baby for too long (he was sleeping). . . .I gave myself a pep talk (“The kids do it all the time and they don’t care if they fall in and get THEIR feet wet!!”)  and made it across safe and sound.  My short walk rejuvenated me and reminded me that spring is coming.

This morning, I took the time to take a couple pictures of my little baby. . . . .

With around the clock feedings, I’m certain that He’s growing nicely.

These pictures are from the other day:

Finding some sun. . . .soaking in the rays.  (Amber, Seth is wearing the socks you sent him in this picture. )

David and Seth, last Saturday….I love the green striped pants on Seth.

Caleb and Grace snuggled up in Caleb’s room.  Notice all the Thomas stuff?  They were quietly playing a Thomas VTech game. . . .

Vanishing Mac ‘n cheese

3 Tablespoons butter
1/4 cup flour
1/2 t. salt
2 cups milk
1/4 pound Velveeta, cut up
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 1/2-3 cups macaroni, cooked, drained

Melt butter in large saucepan on low heat.  Blend in flour and salt, cook and stir 1 minute.  Gradually add milk; cook, stirring constantly, until thickened.  Add cheeses, stir until melted.  Stir in macaroni.
Pour into greased casserole.  Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, or until thoroughly heated.  Serves about 6, depending.

I added 3 sliced hot dogs to the recipe the other day and served this for lunch.  Ethan was sick and didn’t eat but Jacob has been eating SO much lately that he had no trouble eating Ethan’s share.  He also objected when I helped myself to a Small Portion.  We had words over that. 

Okay, that does it for this blog.  Thanks for hanging in there, it took me forever to write all this because I had to keep taking breaks to do other things.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.  I’m SO glad it’s FRIDAY!

Love, Shanda

“The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
and in the night His song shall be with me.”  Psalm 42:8

1 cup flour
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
1 Tablespoon vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla, if you like
food coloring

Cook all ingredients in a 1 1/2 quart saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly, about 4 minutes or until mixture forms a ball.

Remove from pan and let stand on counter 5 minutes.

Knead dough about 30 seconds or until it is smooth and blended.  Cool completely.  Store in airtight container in refrigerator.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I made five individual batches of this dough on Tuesday evening.  Rich was away on a business trip and I had to find something to keep the kids occupied during the last remaining hours before bedtime. 

Rich got back late last night from his trip to New Jersey.  I am feeling overwhelmed, Ethan has the stomach bug now and I’m not getting much sleep at night…Seth wakes up every three hours during the night and this morning he was up at 4:30 with a stuffy nose that was making him frustrated, poor thing.

At this moment, Seth is napping, Ethan is sleeping on the couch, Jacob is reading a book, and Grace and Caleb are watching a Thomas the Tank Engine video.  David is at school until 11:30.  Rich is at work but is going to try to come home early (which means around 5, instead of 6:30/7pm).

I don’t want to write, because I’m afraid I would come across as complaining.  Things are just really busy for me right now and there’s nothing to do except keep going (and Rich says I’m doing great, so that makes me feel good). . . . . .and now it’s time for me to shower and get dressed.  One thing at a time!

I hope you all have a great day!  Love, Shanda