madame butterfly

Posted on July 18, 2017 by Shanda

Oh what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.

“I trust You. Give me wisdom. Give me love to spill over. My life is Yours.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

A simply DRENCHED bumble bee, waiting out the rain on a bee balm blossom.

I don’t know…..but again, drenched.

close up of a zinnia.. .. .gorgeous color pink.

My nature studies have gone from birds to bees and other insects. It’s such a pleasure to walk around the outskirts of our lawn, where the mowed grass meets the wilder grasses and flowers and look for insects. There are always interesting things to see.

I still like to watch for birds, too. In fact, I keep seeing a yellow warbler (wearing a black mask) peeping at me from the bushes, it must be distracting me from seeing a nest because it’s a typically shy bird. I’ll try to photograph it today.

breathtaking greens and yellow

I showed Sarah the photos and when she realized what she was seeing, she said “Delete it!”

This is my favorite photo of the bunch. The wings! Did you ever guess there would be wings like this on a tiny bug? (it’s on a yarrow flower, a common wildflower in our area)

It’s not a very clear photo because just as I was taking it I felt a cold thing go across my bare big toe………

It was a big juicy worm.

This gorgeous bug, if it senses an enemy near. . . . .

….drops down and plays dead. It literally plays dead! It had me fooled for a moment.

Yesterday I was on the porch and saw a Monarch fly by. I walked around to follow it and discovered it busily laying eggs on the milkweed that I let grow in the garden. See how it presses it’s tail to the leaf?

It leaves an egg behind, a teeny white egg. When it hatches, the caterpillar will be all set because it simply LOVES milkweed leaves.

By gently turning the leaves over on the plants I have found at least 5 eggs. We plan on collecting them after they hatch and watching them grow. It’s one of our favorite summertime nature studies.

****

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

blessed

Posted on March 27, 2017 by Shanda

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth…….
You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in this world.
God is not a secret to be kept.”

*****

We went to see Beauty and the Beast. We ate lots of candy and popcorn and sat in a long row on my sister’s birthday. Spectacular. My favorite part was at the end when all the castle inhabitants under the curse were brought back to life – the way it was supposed to be, through true love. I thought of how we are also born under a curse, but then, in time, Jesus makes us new again. “If any man be in Christ he is a new creature; old things are past, behold all things are made new.” Oh how He loves us.

*****

We took the children to their elementary school to watch a movie. We watched it among a restless sea of children, hardly able to hear, and then took home an extra one (friend of Caleb) to spend the night. After the movie we joined the crowd walking in the dark to their cars, carrying their blankets and pillows, and agreed it had been a nice event for the kids. A good small town treat. We appreciated the calm of the night sky.

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The children fished for the first time this year. Rich called me out to the porch to admire the cuteness.

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Church yesterday. Reminded me once again of the only thing that truly matters. Everything else (and there’s so much “everything else”) is icing on the cake.

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I made lots and lots of cookies.

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There was an epic nerf fight.

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I got happy mail!

*****

Matthew 5

“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”

those “Jesus, take the wheel!” moments. When you finally let go.

“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”

(dreams? expectations? a person? a home? a job? health? youth? )

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are–no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”

Contentment to me means peace inside.

Contentment to simply be.

“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.”

soul food–delicious and satisfying

“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full’, you find yourselves cared for.”

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world–your mind and heart–put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.”

ah, yes

“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.”

This is the number one job of a parent of more than one child. LOL

“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.”

*****

Sarah was the official bread runner to the house for bait. She stepped back when the fish appeared but Caleb’s friend Collin was able to get her to touch it….I could hear her from across the pond, “It’s slimy!” she laughed.

Lots of commentary about the poor fish who ate the hook all the way down and it’s poor eye and getting it free, and putting it back.

Seth was the most frustrated. He spent a great deal of time trying to get the bread to stay on his hook. He never did catch one. But it was good for him.

the last of winter

Posted on March 13, 2017 by Shanda

Four nights ago, thanks to a text from my neighbor, we were able to see this amazing lunar halo around the moon. It was so wide around that I almost couldn’t get it all in the picture. It’s a beautiful sight that I won’t soon forget. I learned that these halos mean that a storm is coming and indeed the children did have Friday off from school for a snow day and we have a storm coming tomorrow.

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“It was a long cold winter for the birds and animals on the hill, but the little old man and the little old woman put out food for them until the warm spring came. And that was the end of the BIG SNOW.” ~ The Big Snow by Berta and Elmer Hader

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I aimed my camera through the windows of the dining room, watching the birds, thinking thoughts.

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“Well lived days are completed years, and the years well lived as they come make a life beautiful and full. In such a life no special preparation of any kind is needed. He who lives thus is always ready. Each day prepares for the next, and the last day prepares for glory.” JR Miller

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“And is this heaven? And am I there?
How short the road! How swift the flight!
I am all life, all eye, all ear:
Jesus is here–my soul’s delight.”
~Isaac Watts

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And today? The children are at school. Bright sun is shining but coldly and tomorrow we expect a snowstorm, another snow day?

These are the last frozen offerings of winter weather which will make the springtime thaw even more welcome.

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There is a spot on the eaves which constantly drips, and it’s so cold outside that we have not a burning bush, but an ice covered one! It’s so pretty when the sun shines through it.

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Happy Monday, friends.
You are loved.

“Here in the shadow of God’s love forever I’ll abide,
So glad, so blest, so sure, so safe; so more than satisfied!” Elizabeth Prentiss

now

Posted on March 9, 2017 by Shanda

Little joys.

Living in the moment.

Because the moment is what you have.

Look out with eyes of love, eyes of wonder. Live now.

Wrestling season is over and now it’s all about brothers and sisters, bare feet, early spring, and baseball.

thin ice and ripples on the pond

different mosses

things growing in the flower bed

Marvellous happy it was to be
Alone, and yet not solitary.
O out of terror and dark, to come
In sight of home.
~Walter de la Mare.

When you’re a busy woman and you step outside at the end of the day to let the dog out and see glory.

The sky was high and clear with a brilliant moon. But what made it special was a layer of clouds passing between it and earth. All the light from the moon lit up the clouds.

“my soul is elsewhere, I’m sure of that.
and I intend to end up there.” RUMI

the stars were twinkling

God’s glory is on tour in the skies,
God-craft on exhibit across the horizon.
Madame Day holds classes every morning,
Professor Night lectures each evening.
Their words aren’t heard,
their voices aren’t recorded,
But their silence fills the earth:
unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.

Psalm 19

The further the clouds got from the moon the darker they became so that I couldn’t make them out very well anymore.

*****

“The LORD will command his loving-kindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me” (Psalm 42:8).

someday (1 Peter 1:3-9)

Posted on March 8, 2017 by Shanda

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What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole.

I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.

1 Peter 1:3-9

a day for you

Posted on February 10, 2017 by Shanda

I believe, Lord, that you love to bless, comfort, and give.

Your word is my delight, your truth my inspiration.

You lift my soul beyond those things that would pull me down when I come into your presence in prayer.

Your Holy Spirit is there to fill me with the character of your own goodness and to fill me with joy.

I believe, Lord, that your people are there to help me grow stronger as one of your children.

You have given me friends to strengthen my relationship with you.

I believe, Lord, that as I seek you I find you.

You will always show me the way that is good for my life.

You will lead me along the right way and I know that you always love me.

You pour your love into my heart so that I praise you because of your faithfulness; my innermost being says ‘Thank you.’

Through the cross of Christ I have been brought back to you: how I praise you!

Through the cross my life is transformed.

For Jesus Christ’s resurrection and for my new life I praise you.

~Gospel Light Publications 1985

And happy are your eyes, because they see! Matthew 13:16

The LORD opens the eyes of the blind. Psalm 146:8

I know I belong to Jesus because I see Him everywhere. I don’t just see Him in the Bible or in Church….I see Him constantly in my every day life. I see Him in my children, in my siblings. My husband. I see him in the secular podcasts I love to listen to. I see Him in the way He guides everyone’s life. In the stories people tell. I see him in movies, in books, in school, in the library, and online.

He isn’t always obvious, and that’s the joy of finding Him.

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

It’s amazing.

how sweet the sound

I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.

I love that I can be HANDS OFF with my life, how freeing this is, how comforting.

I’m walking through the years with my eyes wide open.

And each little gift causes my heart to say “thank you, I know that was you, God.”

We had a snowy day yesterday and I kept an eye on this Cardinal. It was sitting in the bushes for hours watching and waiting out the storm. I was busy in the house but looked out the window periodically to look at it. And then, it was gone and I missed it.

We did some reading; my book is on the pillow next to Dave; All the Light We Cannot See.

Very good.

Grace was reading a favorite of hers for about the fifth time. The Likeness by Tana French

For lunch we had little fish sandwiches on potato buns with tarter sauce.

Dave had five.

Rich has a bulging disc in his neck and has to have a shot in it next month to relieve the pain. However, after spending a relaxing day at home he felt better than he has in a long time. It was good to see him take a nap on the couch with us.

He took a few calls for work and after the snow stopped he went outside and plowed the driveways.

Of all the places to take a nap!

Little Junco on Caleb’s bike which was on the porch to protect it from the snow.

But snow got everywhere yesterday.

Juncos are quite cute; it’s feathers are ruffled from the wind.

There is a bowl of sunflower seed under all that silly soft stuff.

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We watched one of my favorite movies; Babe. I study every scene of the house and barn.

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And then it was time to go outside.

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If I had words
To make a day for you
I sing you a morning golden and new
I would make this day
Last for all time
Give you a night
Deep in moonshine
If I had words
To make a day for you
~Scott Fitzgerald

oh how he loves us

Posted on November 20, 2016 by Shanda

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“The greatest sorrow and burden you can lay on the Father, the greatest unkindness you can do to Him is not to believe that He loves you.”

~John Owen

we are surrounded by towns and surrounded by dentists….and yet….

Posted on October 19, 2016 by Shanda

“The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

“….your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”

Almost five years ago to the day, one year old baby girl Sarah tripped and fell on her mouth, pushing one of her front teeth back up into her gums. I was going through a time of serious depression, trying so hard to take care of my family while fighting exhaustion and anxiety, both spiritual and mental. I was running on empty and this just added to my sadness and stress.

We immediately called the doctor about her tooth but the doctor said it was the dentist’s job and the dentist didn’t return our call (it happened in the evening after hours). The next morning Sarah was acting like nothing had ever happened and was happy, so, with my eyes puffy with crying, I proceeded with my own doctor’s appointment that had been scheduled for weeks and Rich didn’t want me to miss.

While I was there at the clinic, I had a friendly nurse asking all about the children, so I opened my phone (flip phone!) to show her a photo of my seven young offspring. The first picture to appear was of poor Sarah’s mouth and the injured tooth, so I ended up explaining what had happened to the nurse.

She right away wanted to give me a referral to a wonderful pediatric dentist. She knew of him because he came to the clinic often to do dental services (his office was in another town half an hour away). She walked me out to the desk after my appointment to get me his number and just at that moment, the man himself walked out into the hallway! She stopped him and explained Sarah’s story right then and there, and I showed him the photo. He told me to bring Sarah to his office that afternoon at four!! It blew me away how God worked this out for Sarah. We went to the appointment and the whole experience felt like grace, he was so kind and professional and put our anxieties to rest in regards to Sarah’s little mouth injury. As we already had our own dentist, we thanked him and went on our merry way…….thankful for this unexpected help from a stranger.

Fast forward five years………

Sarah had her six month cleaning last Monday and we found out that the very same front tooth is abscessed. The hygienist guessed right away that it had been injured at some point. The doctor came in and said that as Sarah also needed a frenectomy he could refer us to someone to have the tooth extracted and the frenectomy done at the same time to save Sarah from extra anxiety (after her year of kidney woes she isn’t a big fan of dentists or doctors).

I called the number he gave us as a referral and was told they could do the extraction but not the frenectomy. I called a few more pediatric dentists and was told the same thing. I called back our dentist and explained what was happening and asked the receptionist to figure it out and make the calls for me, as it was more of an urgent case and I didn’t have the clout of being a physician in expediting the appointment or figuring out what to do. She agreed to make the calls and I congratulated myself for letting go of control.

It took a full 24 hours to hear back from anyone. Last night, as I waited in the dark car for Grace to get done with drama rehearsal, my cell phone rang. The lady on the phone explained that she was calling me because she was contacted by my dentist in regards to Sarah , and she began telling me about the office and where they were located. To make a long story short:

IT IS THE VERY SAME DENTIST THAT HELPED US OUT FIVE YEARS AGO WITH THIS TROUBLESOME TOOTH. This guy must be a super hero?

She has a consultation appointment today at 10:50!

***
We got back home a little while ago and the appointment was great. He said that her tooth was wriggly enough that she can get it out herself. He put her on antibiotics. He said that she could wait on the frenectomy for several years and it would be better for her psyche if we waited. Rich and I totally agreed. 🙂 Oh and they remembered her!

a little bit of this a little bit of that

Posted on August 5, 2016 by Shanda

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I made my way to the kitchen in order to make that first cup of coffee. Sarah was on the couch in the living room and the boys were still asleep.

Our nineteen year old son Jacob had left in the wee hours of the morning to go on a road trip and as I poured Sarah’s drink of milk I was touched to see that he had left me a note. It was on the other side of the counter so I had to reach across to pull it toward me, turning it right-side-up in order to read it.

What was it going to say? Perhaps; “I’ll miss you, dearest mother”?, or, “Don’t worry, I will drive safely, God is with me.”? how about, “Give my siblings a hug and kiss for me when they wake up, I’ll miss them!” ? or “I did the laundry before I left” ?

I was so surprised when I read it that I just had to laugh!

What sort of 19 year old leaves notes of remorse about finishing up FOOD?

And that “I love you” tacked on the end. Even his name made me smile! “Jake” not Jacob, but “Jake”. My little Jake, not so little…..but still as sweet as ever.

Does he not know, has he not heard? Mothers want the children to eat ALL the ham salad! Mothers eat lots of ham salad only if they have a sneaking suspicion that the children don’t like it and it will go to waste!

His mother would gladly give him ALLLLLLLL the ham salad!!!!!!!!

The note should have said, “I’m sorry I left the empty ham salad container and little bits of it on the counter for YOU to clean up instead of throwing it away myself!” Am I right? No, maybe not. I saw more of his priceless self and heart in his own quickly written, 3 o’clock in the morning, sincere, paper-towel written love letter than anything else he could have written.

(((my heart))) just never knows what God will give it each day…that little unexpected boost to brighten the moments. So many each day that I lose track. My heart gives grateful praise. A ham salad note. I can’t even……what next? I can’t wait to see.

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A song for Friday:

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truths to make your heart sing:

“So, we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:16, The Message translation

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Strength for today is mine all the way,
And all I need for tomorrow.
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do, is follow.
~Sidney E. Cox, 1950, (from the baptist hymnal)

**Have a very blessed Friday, you are loved!**

fly

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Shanda

I shut my laptop after the last blog post,
took a shower, got dressed,
went back on the porch……..

…..and discovered a new monarch butterfly. Our first to emerge, out of the four caterpillars we had collected.

I sat and watched it for a long time, thinking about how much life is growth, so much growing and changing. Butterflies only get to do it once, we get to do it over and over. There are dark times when we are in our little stuffy cocoons, lonely, maybe perfectly willing to be all alone, needing *something* but not really knowing what it is. It is a waiting time. Then comes the “break through”. Suddenly we have had enough of cocoon time and find that it’s time to get out from the covers, get out of bed, get out of our own minds, oh how it hurts to start breaking down walls but it feels so good at the same time….new air, new sights, drying wings…….freedom.

After the struggle to emerge comes the strengthening time…….those who are waiting for us almost lose their patience, we ourselves often lose heart, forget that God does indeed have a purpose for everything, but our Father knows, He understands, His children are ready (not in our time, not in their time) but in HIS TIME……..

He has made everything beautiful
in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Every thing is as God made it; not as it appears to us. We have the world so much in our hearts, are so taken up with thoughts and cares of worldly things, that we have neither time nor spirit to see God’s hand in them. The world has not only gained possession of the heart, but has formed thoughts against the beauty of God’s works. We mistake if we think we were born for ourselves; no, it is our business to do good in this life, which is short and uncertain; we have but little time to be doing good, therefore we should redeem time. Satisfaction with Divine Providence, is having faith that all things work together for good to them that love him. God doeth all, that men should fear before him. The world, as it has been, is, and will be. There has no change befallen us, nor has any temptation by it taken us, but such as is common to men.
Matthew Henry

When we are finally strong again.

We can enjoy life. We can fly.

F L Y

Yes, the family and I have been spending a lot of time by the aquarium, watching & waiting for the butterflies to hatch and fly away. Three of them have gone now, but the fourth seems to be stuck in the cocoon. We think maybe it died inside. We can see the wings through the (now clear) casing, but it should have come out a few days ago.

morning glory leaf

It’s been so fun to see my flower garden become a butterfly sanctuary AND a bird feeding station.

The most darling little goldfinches come to get a sunflower seed, but they are shy and at any hint of my eyes watching them they fly away making a chirping distress sound.

As we have morning glory vines twirling up the sunflowers, it makes for a very lovely photo opportunity. I had to take these photos from inside the house through the glass and screen doors……..

fledging

my darling (while mama sits on one end, oftentimes they will be on the other end playing with their little toys).

I find myself watching butterflies, birds, and children every where I turn.

Hosta flowers

*****

currently reading: Never Turn Your Back on an Angus Cow, by Dr. Jan Pol (good book, I love animal stories)

plans for today: Grace and I are going out with David. We are picking up her ring from Tiffany (left for cleaning) and then have to go to Target to get things for camp next week.

I just want you guys to know that I love you all and that you are so special. I’m thankful for the friends I meet and greet along the way. Friendship and connections of all kinds make life sweet.

look around and be distressed
look within and be depressed
look at Jesus and be at rest