Christmas 2019

Posted on by
9

Merry Christmas! I’m using this blog post as an excuse to get away from the family and sit in my room with just a cat and the laptop. I’m overwhelmed. There are twelve of us here, my own family of nine plus Brittnee, Michael, and Seth’s friend John. The talking, food-eating, doors opening and shutting, sneezing, and mess have finally caused me to crack. Rich asked me if I was okay and I said, “No” and started to cry and then I felt bad because it made him worry unnecessarily, YES I AM OKAY, I just need to cry and type for a little while.

I did the cry part now I’m doing the type part.

Dear little children who will be reading this sometime in the future, I AM FINE and I LOVE YOU. Wasn’t Christmas lovely? Let’s look at some photos and remember it……..

Seth and Sarah opened our bedroom door at 6 am and walked briskly to my side of the bed and said “It’s 6:00 and time to get up, It’s Christmas!” Then, they left and the two of us dozed for half an hour longer, I was trying to keep my mouth shut. I was curious who would get us out of bed, me or my husband……finally I cracked (I see a theme here) and said, “Just so you know, I’m not saying anything because I’m waiting for you to say it’s time to get up.” So he said, “Get up”. I got up and made coffee while he continued to not come out of the bedroom!

Rich loves Christmas so much that he doesn’t want it to begin right away. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself………..

Okay, he just came back in the room (he dared)….he had a note to give to me, so I took the opportunity to ask him why it takes him so long to appear on Christmas morning and he said:

  1. “I know once I come out we will begin and then it will be all over.”
  2. “I can hear the excited voices chattering and I like to hear them.” (he started to cry here)
  3. “And third, I always write your card on Christmas morning.”

Obviously I have the best husband in the world……….

The note he gave me said, “Shanda Lynn, I understand my love, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, too. Please enjoy some nice deserved quiet time. I’m sure the noisy gym didn’t help your frame of mind. I love you so very much. P.S. We’re cleaning. 🙂 ~Me”

I sat in the living room with the eight children ranging in ages from 22 on down to 9 and we waited for Dad to appear……..and just as people were about to go back to bed, he did.

Brittnee gave him a handwritten, heartfelt letter that made him cry.

Caleb’s wildest Christmas dreams came true.

A PS4 for Caleb! He played it so much on Christmas day that his eyes turned pink. Now whenever I walk by him I say, “BLINK!”

Ethan and his dog (who could smell the Christmas stocking beef jerky that the boys always get).

The view from where I sat.

I gave the boys each a Harry Potter lego set.

Grace and her very very heavy book of art and wearing her new Christmas winter hat from her Dad. With a Harry Potter book by her side (she’s reading through the series for the first time!)

Brittnee had a girl from school embroider this for me. I love it!

Grace and I each gave one another themed gifts from this book (The Starless Sea) we recently read and enjoyed.

Sarah found herself a big present to open. (She did most of the gift-passing)

Seth and his Go-Pro

David and his new clothes. If he had his way, he would gather all his gifts and take them to a quiet room and open them in private.

Ethan loved his new Vans….

Harry Potter themed…….

Rich opening his GTO tshirt from me….he tends to pick out his own gifts but this one was a surprise. It was to me, too, because I wasn’t planning on buying it until I was in the Lucky store and saw it.

Sarah loved her unicorns but they were almost impossible for her to get them out of the packaging, I caught her with a sharp knife and saved us a trip to the ER. Jacob, Brittnee, and I opened them for her and she was thrilled that the Elven princesses had magnets on their seats to keep them from falling off their unicorns.

We started an all day fire in the fireplace with the Christmas wrap and boxes. I only had to pull plastic out of the flames once (my husband will burn anything).

I had gifts to open from Joanna which Grace had brought home with her. She painted me a mushroom ornament!

Soon each family member was all doing their own thing. Jacob and Brittnee painted pictures.

Caleb got his playstation set up.

Grace went back to reading.

Sarah went behind the Christmas tree and set up all her toys for herself.

Seth played games while wearing his new wrestling head gear.

Ethan started his lego set.

Rich and I made Seth and Sarah walk with us and they lagged behind the whole time, shoulder to shoulder, talking. (IT WAS SO CUTE)

I bought Sarah a “well-wishers” american girl doll and we discovered that they not only look alike, but they each have a mole on the same place on their face!!!!

Dinner was ham, scallopped potatoes, squash, vegetables, and corn bread.

Jacob and Brittnee had gone to her family’s house.

It took a while for Dad to carve the ham and they were so cute standing there waiting and watching.

I never have an appetite for holiday meals that I prepare myself. But here’s my plate of food.

Merry Christmas!

salmon fishing with his grandpa

Posted on by
5

(I have been wanting to record my husband’s memories. This will be a new feature on my blog. I sat and typed while he told me a story he remembered this morning.)

I was 12 years old, I might have been 11. I was either 11 or 12 years old and my grandfather was going to take me on a fishing trip to Palaski to fish for salmon. I thought the fishing trip (specifically the fishing) was going to be the enjoyment but it turned out that the whole entire trip was going to be completely recorded in my memory. My mom put me to bed early that night because my grandfather was going to pick me up around 2 o’clock in the morning in order to be up there early. I couldn’t sleep at all, I was too excited, he ended up picking me up at 130 in the morning and we traveled in his big station wagon. We picked up my great Uncle Richard on the way but before we left we all sat around in his house, my Grandfather and my Uncle Richard sitting around drinking coffee telling stories in the kitchen and I was in the living room with my cousins watching “National Lampoon’s Summer Vacation”. That was my first introduction to the National Lampoon movies. We watched the whole movie and then headed out. We got up there just as the sun was rising and we lined up on the bank of river. There were a lot people there and we were fishing to snag the salmon from the river. You’d simply cast out a big weight with three hooks, you could see the salmon swimming up the river and so you’d try to throw the weight over them and hook them. Whenever someone would snag one, they would yell “Fish on! Fish on!” which that would be the sign that everybody would need to reel in. Everyone had to reel in because there were so many people there fishing and once it was hooked the salmon would fight and be trying to go up the river and down the river so it was important to stay out of the way or there would be a big tangled mess of lines. The salmon would be anywhere between 15 pounds to 30 pounds, these were big fish, so it was very exciting. Now I was the only one in our whole entire party that day to catch one and I fought and fought and fought. It was so big, I got it in and my Uncle went to catch it in the net. They were so big you couldn’t pull them on shore with your pole. Someone would go into the water with hip waders on and use a net and get it for you. They would net the fish and bring it in. When my Uncle went in to get it in the net he got it and it was so big he fumbled with it and slipped and my fish got away. And it was very big. Then, at the end of the day, my grandfather decided to take us out to dinner at a big restaurant. There was a buffet and we all sat at a big circular table. Part way through the meal I put my head down on the table and I fell completely asleep just like that because I was so tired. Suddenly I heard laughing and my Grandfather saying “I think we better wake him up now”. It was time to go and I had slept through most of the dinner with my head just like that down on the table. I don’t remember a thing but I remember I had a good sleep. I remember him laughing to himself as he woke me up. We all loaded back into the station wagon and headed home.

green dress

Posted on by
13

The Sunday before Christmas, when the majority of the church people wear festive colors. I like to see the men in fun ties, too. The church is decorated with trees and poinsettias, candles and greenery, lights and garland. We sing hymns and listen to Scriptures proclaim the glories of God, His son, born a King, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.

I said before that I would post my Sunday outfits. I’m sorry I did not do it last week but by the time we got home from church I was worked up over thoughts of the Sunday School lesson, I won’t get into it, it was meant well and was an important study, but for me it was a trigger from years ago attending a legalistic church. We are now attending a very healthy grace-filled humble little church and thriving, but last Sunday I was in tears once again over past hurts. So I took my clothes off without a photo. I wasn’t in the mood.

But today, this morning, Sarah took these photos for me, wasn’t that nice of her? And the last one of the back of my hair, I had a “peekaboo” blue dye put in on Friday. I love it. It’s very subtle and almost unnoticable but it’s enough for me!

I’ve had the green dress for years, I bought it at anthropologie. I think maybe it will remain in style always, don’t you?

“I just want my hair long this morning.”
“MOM! Brush from the bottom to the top.”
“PONYTAILS!???”
“I promise if you don’t like them you can rip them out.”
“That sounds painful.”
“You look adorable.”

She kept them in.

Lillian, on the way to church. (Grace’s middle name is Lillian and I like to use it once in a while.)

Grace and Michael C sang a duet today. We got to church early so they could run through the song and I took this photo because Seth and Sarah were near their sister, listening. Seth made us laugh because all of a sudden he was inspired enough to make his face and hands look like he was singing an opera song (for a few seconds) mimicking his sister. Goof.

Here is their song, I can’t wait to hear what Kara thinks of it! 🙂

Naturally, we thought they sounded brilliant.

Caleb and our pastor, Gary, rocking their bowties.

This year’s family photo, just taken today a few hours ago……..

And one with dear Brittnee, too. Someday I hope she really is an Ives (shhhhhhhh!) but either way, she will always by one of my “adopted” ones.

We got our tree. We cut it down on Friday, it was so friged that I made a beeline to the very first tree I thought might look good enough and that’s what we cut down. It’s beautiful and perfect. The children helped decorate, it wasn’t peaceful or magical but it was real and messy and family and fine.

Grace is sound asleep on the couch by her Dad, who is listening to a sermon on his ear pods. Michael and Jacob are leading the children in a nerf fight (I’ve heard things like “I’m bleeding out” whilst I type). Ethan and Dave are sitting in chairs and talking to each other. My heart is at rest, I am holding and treasuring each moment in my heart, and refusing to eat anymore Christmas cookies for the rest of the day.

I love you, dear friends.
May your days be merry and bright.

photos from today

Posted on by
9

Good evening! I’m feeling fine and frisky so thought I would blog some photos from today.

First of all, the day started out amusing right off the bat because when I got up David had chocolate muffins in the oven that he made himself from scratch. The kids were all on a two hour delay because of ice but that wasn’t why he had time to bake. He had time to bake because he woke up at 1 in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. He was actually not pleased that there was a delay……..

Anyway, I was impressed by the muffins, which included sour cream and two kinds of chocolate chips. While they finished baking I turned a chair around and put it right in front of the big window in the livingroom and drank my coffee and read a Gladys Tabor book that Jo gifted me recently and watched the sun come up. Oh it was lovely. I listened as David took his muffins out and reprimanded Sarah for daring to reach a hand out to touch them, “Don’t you put your filthy finger on my muffins, I’ll get if for you myself. Mom gets the first one.”

MOM GETS THE FIRST ONE.

my heart.

He served it to me on a plate with a fork and stood there as I took my first bite.

He took some to school. He gave two of them to Sarah.

off they all went to school

And I headed to the grocery store.

Oh and guess what? I packed clothes into 8 trash bags and took them to the donate bin! It felt so good and so productive to get rid of clothing that the children haven’t worn in a long time. Why hang on to it?

The clouds were amazing.

I was sincerely admiring the outdoors all day long, however I did not get outside for a walk, even though I did put on my boots and didn’t ever take them off until after the children’s music concert tonight. (Seth pulled them off me, saying I was lazy)…….(for asking him to do it).

While waiting to take Seth and Sarah to the school, Sarah and I watched a Great British Baking show. I am so thankful for my dear cats. These two are from the same litter, Samantha is a small female calico who used to be outside all the time but this summer something happened to scare her enough that she never goes outside anymore. She uses a litter box and stays in the living room the majority of the time. Sherlock is a fat orange male and (don’t tell the others) my favorite. We call him “Loaf” because his body is like a loaf of heavy bread. Both of these cats like laps and catnip and napping all day long.

I don’t remember what made her laugh but I love this photo. She chose this dress from her closet to wear in the chorus concert and once upon a time it was her big sister’s dress. She put on a necklace and earrings, too.

This morning I had joy in my heart over tomatoes so I thought I would start a running list of things on the counter of things I liked today and then forgot to add anything else……then, at the end of the day I saw someone had filled in the rest of the paper with her own thing she liked.

I didn’t take any photos of the children at school tonight but I did take photos of BUTTONS.

Our town turned 300 this year and there was a display case at the school of notable things that came from our town…..one of which was that there used to be a button factory!!!

I just adored these buttons so had to take photos for mom and Jo and this blog entry!

Buttons By Schwanda!!!!!!!!!!

It could ALMOST be Shanda! Almost!

Please don’t call me Schwanda.

Last but not least, well it is least actually, is a photo of myself and my nose. Yesterday I had my black armoire cupboards open and I was standing there arranging things inside. When I was done, I slammed the cupboard door shut RIGHT ACROSS MY OWN NOSE. It hurt so bad I cried and went and sat on Rich’s lap.

I’ve had so many stupid little injuries lately and this is just one of them! Over the last few months I’ve deeply cut my finger and then my thumb, burned a different finger terribly on a curling iron, I swear it was third degree, damaged my ring finger knuckle and now my Tiffany rings won’t go on, scratched and scarred my arm, burned a triangle (an actual TRIANGLE) on my other arm, and got a bee sting up under my arm that took a week to heal!!!! What next. Sheesh.

I’m on the couch. Rich is at my feet trying to help Seth repair a nerf gun. Sarah is coloring with markers and listening to Chris Rice hymns on the old green ipod. Now that I’m done on the laptop we are going to eat ice cream and watch Star Trek the Next Generation. Rich and I have spent months watching every episode and we only have three left.

I love you guys.

Merry Christmasing…….. and I’ll be back as soon as I can to say hello again and hopefully brighten your day. That’s what I love to do best of all.

snow day

Posted on by
8

I was sitting in my rocking chair at 7:oo in the morning, with Rich at the table working, when my phone rang. I answered it and found my nephew on the other end, asking if he could come over and sled at my house.

And then, after I said yes and talked to my sister….my neighbor texted like he aways does to say “Let me know when your kids go outside because Jack wants to sled with them!”

All of a sudden it was a snow day and a party day both!!

Not soon enough, Amanda came over with a Venti Matcha Green tea latte for me, from Starbucks!! My absolute favorite.

We looked through my scrapbook, the one I’m currently working on.

And then we went sledding. Only the boys never did want to go out, so it was just the three of us girls.

We laughed a lot as we walked up and then sledding down the hill in front of our house.

Look how blue the sky was!

Went inside and played yahzee, and Sarah rolled her first one, in “2’s”. So we told her it was her lucky number.

Then, hymns at the piano.

A lovely day.

Friends, you are LOVED.

Happy Thursday!

something in every day

Posted on by
6

“It seemed to me that Plato put it correctly when he said, ‘Our eyes can be turned toward the light as well as toward the dark. If our whole soul is turned away from this visible world toward the bright regions, then our eyes can become able to understand the Good.’ He says further, ‘Do you not believe that it is a turning round of the soul into the right direction so that the eyes may see? For we all have eyes, though we do not know where to look.’
“I found these words lightened my hopeless hours. If I turned my soul in the right direction, my eyes could see. I saw a world in which I had some infinitesimal part, and to which I had an obligation. I saw the wide gaze of children, the tender look of lovers, the warm smiles of friends. I saw a newly opened rose. I saw the effortless flying movement of the Irish on a dewy lawn and the flat-out ears of the cockers following after. I saw so many wonders it would take a lifetime to list them.
“By observing, my eyes saw the mysterious light of dawn and the still blaze of noon. I looked at the world—-and forgot myself. And I began to find some good in every day. I didn’t try to work at being happy, I worked at finding that good in every day and experiencing it fully. And, at night, I thanked God in my prayers for whatever the good had been. It might be any one of a number of things: An unexpected telephone call from a friend. A letter of warm appreciation for something I had written. A neighbor dropping in with a bouquet of pansies in midwinter (from her small greenhouse). The sudden working out of a difficult problem in my current book. The overnight blossoming of the lilies of the valley. A special picnic with dear friends who only come on week ends. The voice of my granddaughter trying to get her tongue around words. ‘Tzeez,’ she says triumphantly, meaning ‘cheese’.
“There was, I found, something in every day if I kept my eyes turned toward the light!”

Gladys Taber in Another Path, published in 1963

On Friday I had something wonderful happen. I don’t know if you remember a few years back when my husband used to have me prepare lunches now and then for his team for “off site” meetings held at our house? I met Julie during these lunch meetings. I still don’t know her very well, but I have seen her huge giving heart several times and most recently, this Friday when my husband came home with a Christmas patterned gift bag saying “This is for you, from Julie.”

The tag explained that when she was in Korea recently, she saw these little cups and THOUGHT OF ME!

Someone was in Korea and thought of me!

She remembered my fiestaware and thought these sweet little cups would look nice with them.

In the bottom of each one there is a little fish!

How dear! I promptly put them on display amongst the fiesta.

So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures. James 1:17-18

you are loved.

wrong side out

Posted on by
6

I’m crashing today….so tired…slept in, got up just to throw clothes on and go to Sunday School and church with Rich and the children. We didn’t get very far into the service before I glanced over and saw Seth was crying and it wasn’t because he was under conviction of the Holy Spirit, either. He had gotten warm and taken his sweater off. And when David saw what he had on underneath, he laughed at his little brother, which hurt Seth’s feelings excruciatingly. Under his sweater he had put on a nice blue and gray checkered dress shirt but somehow he got it on wrong-side out. The buttons APPEARED to be right, but on closer examination you could see that he had had to work hard to do some funny folding and creative maneuvering to button a shirt that was wrong side out but make the buttons still appear to be right side out. It’s hard to explain. Try it. I thought the collar looked funny but that was my only intuition about it, I never dreamed the entire shirt but the buttons was wrong side out. Anyway, he cried from public mortification and I carefully and silently did the Mom-thing by pushing Sarah down a seat away from me and pulling Seth close to my side in one smooth motion. He got to stand next to Mother for the songs and sit next to Mother during the sermon. We may have even passed notes back and forth for a minute or two, too. I may have even gotten my hand held and hair touched and a head resting on my shoulder, a shoulder which may have been used to wipe tears off one small cheek.

Basically, I got mom points.

Here we are, after church, at Subway because I don’t make Sunday dinners. Subway does.

*********

I’m going to start posting my Sunday “style” every week. Just an ordinary mom, mind you!

(Basically I’m going to laugh as I post the photos)

Happy Sunday to my dearly loved bloggy friends!

Posted on by
8

Happy December! Here we are seven days in and I’m finally sitting down to type. It feels so good to my fingers. I’m glad I took keyboarding in HS just to fill up a spot on my schedule. I love to type. And blog.

I’m sitting here super tired but I have an extra 45 minutes and I’m determined to post some lovely photos that I took in the beginning of this week.

The children had a snow day on Monday.

And another on Tuesday.

The snow fall was beautiful. I ended up going outside with Caleb, Seth, Sarah, and their friend Jack from next door.

It’s always a sight to see everything covered over with white. Pure. Clean. Cold.

They love it when their dad plows the snow into a big pile. It inevitably becomes a game of “King of the Mountain” with snow as ammunition and a useful cushion to push your friend into. You can rough-house a little safer in a snow pile. Sarah jumped from the top into the soft snow.

I snuck around, trying not to let them see me. Sometimes when children catch sight of a mom they forget to play and start remembering hunger, thirst, complaints, and things that they want that only Mom can give or admire (“Mom, Look what I can do!”).

I wanted them to play.

I tiptoed into the woods.

They were following me, I think!

Yep, they certainly were. “MOM! MOM do you want to come watch us sled?”

I had to say “yes”.

The caught up to me and went on ahead.

But Seth turned around and said, “Come on, Mom, I want to walk with my moo-moo.”

He didn’t want me to lag behind.

And all of a sudden it wasn’t me and them. It was us.

It’s funny how God can turn a heart attitude around when I least expect it. I had been solitarily and somewhat sadly taking in the beauty of my surroundings when these dear children caught my attention and pulled me in to their world. They wanted me.

The hill was so very steep. I wish you could see it in real life. It’s so steep that they only wanted to go down 3 times each because it’s such hard work to climb back up. This is the photo I took while sitting on a throne made of snow. They were making the first trail so the sled would work.

Caleb went down first and the snow blinded him.

Then Seth flew down.

Sarah got ready.

“Don’t push me, Caleb!” she said.

“CALEB! DON’T YOU PUSH HER!” I yelled.

She was pushed.

(“it will make her tougher, it will make her tougher”, I chanted to myself as I took pictures)

Seth again.

And then Seth sat on Caleb’s lap and down the brothers went.

That smile!

I think the same one was on my own face, too.

Caleb was too suprised that he didn’t injure himself to smile.

The children walked back home one way, and I went another way. The air was quiet and cold. I admired the way the trees were each striped with white.

lines of brightness, lines of darkness

This is the beauty of a freshly fallen snow, as the wind cleans the trees off rather quickly.

It pays to get outside right away to soak it all into the soul.

Back inside again, with just a few scenes of what makes a cozy home even cozier…….

Happy Decembering, friends.

You are loved.

feasting

Posted on by
7

Twas the day before Thanksgiving when all through the house, all the creatures were stirring, even the spider in the laundry room that Grace and I noticed on the wall.

Right away this morning, while I had energy, I mixed up Grandma’s dough recipe for rolls and while it was rising Grace and I went back to bed with tea and did some reading. She got inspired by Carl Larsson artwork and I read a book written by a photographer that I forget the name of right now.

We also did laundry together.

I formed the dinner rolls with Ethan by my side, and he played us music on his phone and used some of the dough to make a big pan of cinnamon rolls.

Rich was home by 2 and we drove Caleb to school for a football game.

Now he is with Ethan, Jacob, and Seth out running. After they are done they will come home and get cleaned up and go out to eat because mama isn’t making dinner today, it’s all coming out tomorrow instead……the feast!

House is clean…..enough. My parents, my brother Nathan with his family, my brother Dave and his girlfriend Ann, Brittnee, and Michael will be here. It will be lovely and warm and family.

Sherlock the cat is curled up in the chair next to me, Grace is reading across from me and Brittnee is typing a mile a minute next to me. It’s cozy.

I’m currently reading The Valley of Horses by Jean M. Auel

I’m wearing overalls, with a red flower tshirt and a cardigan.

I have more laundry to do.

I’m going to have someone else chop onion and celery for the stuffing.

Maybe get the butternut squash done.

Feast your eyes on this bunch! I am so proud of these children o’ mine!

Happy thanksgiving my dear friends! You are loved!

Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart….Acts 2:46