Jacob recorded Ethan’s guitar recital on his IPOD and we finally figured out how to get it on my blog.   I’m hoping to post more videos here on my site….now that my mom and dad have high speed internet this will be a good way for them to see their grands in action.

I hope all of you enjoy~  Love, Shanda

It was on December 12, 2006 that I wrote a poem in my journal.  I was coming out of a very hard time of constant problems going on in my church.  It was at this time that my eyes were opened to what spiritual warfare, church issues, the ugliness of pride, man-centered doctrines, legalism, and other things, look like.  I was also discovering that I had those same sinful tendencies in my own heart, which I needed to repent of, and am still battling with, to this day.  What I saw hurt me, still hurts me.  But God is always beautiful, merciful, faithful, loving, and true, and what I was learning about HIM outweighed all the pain of what I was experiencing in my church and in my heart.

I am and always will be a deep feeler.  As a result I tend to be oversensitive and over analytical.  These are areas in which my own struggle with pride appear….with the tendency to think on my SELF too much.  But, the Lord in His grace and goodness uses my sensitive nature for good–to develop a longing in my soul for a deeper relationship with Him.

The problems we go through show us our utter need for Him.  He is our lifeline, our rock, our Savior.  WE NEED HIM.  And when those needs are fulfilled, it is a feeling much deeper than can be explained in words.

So, one day I sat down with my journal during the kid’s rest time and wrote things out of my heart…..what ended up occurring was a special, refreshing time with the Lord, in which He even allowed my troubled heart to quiet down so that I could actually sleep.  I’ve had a struggle with insomnia, so it is quite encouraging when I actually drift away to dreamland………the whole experience was a gift from God and when I woke up, I wrote these words.   Maybe it will be an encouragment to my sisters in Christ today, as it serves as a reminder to me of what the Lord has done in the past, and will continue to do….shepherd my soul with His great love.

My Afternoon with God

He was with me all day
as I mothered
as I fought against my flesh
that wants to stress.

He was with me when I put the children to bed for naps.
And He met me in the livingroom
when I finally sat with a piece of pie,
a mug of hot tea, my journal,
and some books.

Write!  So I did
Pray!  So I did
I faltered–but I gave Him what was in my heart-
praise, love, worship, and questions.
Will you?  Could you?  Why?
He’ll answer all in His time.
But my love He returned-immedietly
My worship made Him smile.
And it all gave me peace.

I shut the books
and put down my pen.
I covered myself up in blankets.
I thought about Him
and a hundred other things.

My thoughts were buzzing around in my head
He stayed with me.
One by one the thoughts emptied and there was nothing left
but sleep
and Him, always Him.

He didn’t have to grant me sleep-
if He hadn’t, I would have been content.
But He didn’t take me to the edge
He took me over it, and into a refreshing rest
for my mind, body, and soul.

So I awoke refreshed
and my love for God increased,
I am His and He is mine!

“Like a Father pitieth His children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him-He remembereth that we are dust.  Psalm 103

Be STILL, and know that I am God.

“Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak”  Psalm 6:2a

“God is rich in mercies.”  Ephesians 2:4

“Oh satisfy us early with Thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”  Psalm 90

On our way to Ethan’s first guitar recital!

In my childhood memories, there is always my Dad….playing his guitar.  We all loved to hear him play.  He sang, we sang, we danced.

Jacob, our firstborn, plays the violin.  It was a milestone day when we got to listen to Dad and Jacob’s first guitar and violin duets…..with Ethan always hanging about, at Grandpa’s elbow, looking longingly at the guitar.

So, at just the right time, Ethan began his journey into instrumental music by beginning classical guitar lessons, two years ago now.  My Dad’s name is Gregory, Ethan’s middle name is Gregory, so I’ve always thought of Ethan as partly my Dad’s boy……it means a lot to me to have him carry on the guitar music into our family.

We took a semester of music lessons off when Seth was born, but Ethan started up his lessons again this fall with the same teacher.  His teacher’s name is Nick and he is very good.  One of the things I really appreciate about Nick is that he teaches rhythm and theory just as much as the song itself…it’s not enough that Ethan can play a song in a recognizable way, it must be perfect in beat and rhythm, too. 

The room was FULL of people….the young guitarists (I think the oldest was a college student) and all their family members.  Rich and I sat toward the back, it was Jacob, then E, then Grace, then me with Seth or Caleb on my lap, David, and the Rich with either Seth or Caleb on his lap.  Caleb was the one who found it hard to sit still, he had a oozing bloody bandaid on his forehead and every time he twisted around to whisper “IS THIS THE LAST SONG?” I flinched away from him.  As it was, I got his blood on me.  (He had run into a desk here at home).

Seth sat still and loved hearing the audience clapping, his head would turn all around and his eyes were huge, looking at everyone clap.  Then, in a delayed reaction and often into the next person’s performance, HE would start clapping, too! 

Ethan had to wait through about 10 songs before it was his turn.  Up he went, sat down by his teacher, adjusted his book…..and they both played together;  “Jingle Bells”, “The Streets of Laredo” (our favorite), and “Good King Wenceslas”.  I was proud, and happy that Ethan wore matching socks.  And that I got out the iron and ironed his clothes for him.  (wow, am I a mom or what?!)  The music sounded perfect.

My Young Guitarist

We had a reception afterwards.  I brought along some pineapple banana bread, sliced and arranged on a white fiesta bread platter.  My children ate cookie after cookie, with ice cold punch.

Even Sethie got to eat a big big cookie.  It made his Dad very nervous, but Seth did a good job and I was ready with a napkin.

Joanna, I am wearing the shirt you gave me in this picture…and you all can see how the baby belly is coming along.  Jacob took this picture for us. 

After the recital, Rich and I took the kids to a Mexican place for dinner.  Even though they ate lots of cookies, they did a good job on their dinners.  And I was thrilled because the food was served on genuine FIESTA platters!  We had a good time together and the kids were full of conversations.  I’m glad Rich and I can still go out on nice dates, even if we do have half a dozen good lookin’ little ones in tow.  What wonderful times we are having on our family adventures. This particular afternoon was devoted to music and food, how can you get any better than that?

(PS.  I’m sitting here laughing because I found “The Streets of Laredo” on playlist.  I listened to it…had no idea what the lyrics were to the song until just now.  I must say, the tune is lovely but the story is pretty sad, to say the least (a dramatic cowboy song, a sad song of untimely death).   I added it to my site just for today so that the kids can hear it.)

I love the feeling of getting my home back in order again, after the holidays are over.

I’ve been talking to my friends, and my mom (who is also my friend), and it seems like most of us are in the mood to organize.

My problem with organization is that I lack inner inspiration and creativity, and that’s when I turn to books and magazines, and my journals.

I got a book out of the library, Style for Living, by Alexandra Stoddard.  I first heard of this designer from my friend Joanna, years ago.  I now turn to Stoddard’s books when I need a little push to clean up, make my home beautiful, and organize.

Our surroundings are of prime importance to our sense of well-being and contentment.  They can make all the difference in the quality of our lives.

It is actually in your hands to create a dynamic, uplifting place where happiness is a natural state of mind.

Alexandra Stoddard

As a Christian, I believe that my home should reflect the inner peace and beauty of a soul saved by Christ…that our homes should ooze the love of life, the enjoyment of a life that was given to us abundantly, from God Himself.  It’s not a waste of time, and can actually push us onward to a greater relationship with Him, as we work to create, just like He also creates.  God is orderly, He pays attention to details, loves beauty and cleanliness.

I tend to get impatient about it all, though, and find myself upset at times with the mess and all the stuff we have accumulated through the years.  However, little by little we are working on cleaning up.  We’ve made good progress on the children’s bedrooms and the master bedroom is looking good, too.  I’m trying to concentrate on one room at a time.  It’s a lot of work, but the end results are very rewarding.  I’m not looking for a perfect home, I like the lived in look, but it is nice to freshen things up now and then.

To challenge myself, and to also avoid the stress that comes with shopping and making decisions how to spend my money, I am trying to use what I have around the house to help us organize.

For instance, I saved a few containers and let Grace cover them yesterday, with pretty scrapbook paper.  Ethan ended up doing one for her, too.  Jacob was inspired and started covering one of his cardboard boxes with a plain, but attractive maroon paper (the box holds his Star Wars figurines, but was originally used to ship coffee).

Grace can use these containers to store her little things in.  And she made them herself, I don’t care that they aren’t “Pottery Barn” perfect…..I love to see her handwriting, and her own style of doing things as a 10 year old.  And she had such a good time figuring out just what to put in them.

*Reading and studying my Tasha Tudor books always inspires me. 

*Country Living magazine, both the USA and the British ones (I prefer the British and buy a copy now and then from Barnes and Noble as a very special treat).

*My own journal, that I’ve been putting together for probably 6 years now, reminds me of certain things that always appeal to me; baskets, old canning jars, vintage lace, anything homemade, interesting arrangements of bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, the colors I am drawn to, etc.

*Books, books, books (I like to browse the home and craft shelves at the library)

This time of year, when the busyness of the holidays is behind me, I also enjoy the extra time to try my hand at crafty things, too.  As a mother of six, I don’t have a lot of free time, but I think it’s important for my health and well-being to take the time to create SOMETHING now and then.  Grace and I were both inspired by a book that I checked out of the library, about making cloth dolls.

And so, we each made one!

I was really proud of Grace because she sewed hers almost entirely herself.  She even used the sewing machine for the first time, and I loved glancing up at her now and then as she worked.

This one is mine, and I’m not quite done with her hair.  She’s still bald in back. 

And here is Grace’s.

Fiestaware came in the mail today from a friend…..made me feel happy (I squealed) and loved.

I HAD to get outside, couldn’t breathe in the house anymore.

The sun shined for me now and then.

Saw tracks in the snow, heard the water in the stream, ran my hand along the bark of the trees.

The birds sounded happy today; it wasn’t as cold.

When I went back in the house I vacuumed every nook and cranny of the livingroom.  Seth hates the vacuum.

I had Ethan, Jacob, and Grace each write what they wanted me to bake on a piece of paper and then I drew one paper out of a box.  It was Ethan’s.  He wanted BROWNIES.  I thanked the Lord that I did not get Grace’s.  Then I would have had to make an apple pie.  Jacob wanted “chewy chocolate chip cookies.”  He was feeling descriptive today.

I made the brownie recipe out of the Apples for Jam cookbook.  It called for three sticks of butter and was almost as time consuming as putting together a pie.  They were very good though, dense, chocolatey, and eggy.

Caleb posed for pictures.  He thinks he is funny.

Then it was Seth’s turn.

Grace was on the couch reading me Charlie Brown cartoon strips as I took these.

Later, Caleb said to me, “I know a good name for a baby!  Charlie!”

I had to get up in the night and give Seth a bottle.  It took me a loooooong time to get back to sleep.

I took a nap today.  It was luxurious.

Seth still has no teeth.

His first birthday is in 2 1/2 weeks.

He can dance now.  And he is always walking, no more crawling for him.

I noticed Davy playing with sister’s hair and putting his arm on E. 

They were all looking at pictures of moose and bear on hunting websites.

“I don’t want to see pictures of DEAD THINGS!” ~David

Grace was watching a show about cheetahs yesterday and when I walked into the room she said to me, informatively, about the mother cheetah, “She is tireless.  Not like you.”

Grace looked at me last night and said encouragingly, “You’re not tired and frustrated tonight!  That’s GOOD!  I can tell when you’re tired, you get red all around the eyes.  And when you’re frustrated you look sad.”

(Oh. Dear.  is what I thought)……….

Seth was playing a game with this ball.  He would put it on the table and then watch in delight as it fell off and rolled away.  This ball makes squeaky noises as it moves.

Caleb took my picture.

Now the kids are playing a hunting game on TV.  Ethan really wants to hunt he says, “I WILL hunt, Dad MUST take me.  I’m even saving up for a gun!”  Grace says, while glancing at me, “Um, E, I don’t think you should have said that out loud.”

Caleb is being a pickle.  Someone is trying to pin him down.  I just heard him yell and say, “I don’t like this!”

I have the oven warming up.  We are having leftovers for dinner but I am baking some sweet potatoes to go along with them.

I just looked at Seth, he is standing on a wooden chair, he climbed up there himself.

I can’t wait until my husband gets home!

The umbilical cord was in the way so my doctor could not tell me anything except that if she had to guess she would say it was a girl because she saw “no boy parts”.

I have another ultrasound scheduled on January 25 so hopefully I will find out more at that time.

Doc gave Grace (who was right there with me) a high five, but said “don’t get too excited yet”.

You can imagine how I feel.  You would all be right, because my emotions and thoughts about the subject are all over the place!

He rummaged, he arranged, he made a nest, he fell asleep, and this is where I found him.

And today, we might find out if this little busy body will have a baby brother or a baby sister.

The anticipation is doing a number on me…….stay tuned!  My appointment is at 9:45 this morning.

“My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands.  Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding.  Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.  Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.  Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God.”  Proverbs 2:1-5

I was on amazon.com and read the reviews for The One Year Bible for Women.  I was tempted to buy one online but it was already January 2nd and I wanted it sooner.  Then, when I was at Barnes and Nobles the day after, I discovered that they actually had the Bible I wanted in stock and on the shelves.

I’ve tried to read the Bible in one year before but have never finished.  I hope this time I am more faithful to reach my goal!

The same day I bought it, one of my little ones crawled over it on the couch and the cover got bent. 

So, I made a new one out of some fabric and Elmer’s glue.

After reading the first 10 days worth of Scripture passages, I have settled into a routine that works for me.  The moment I get into bed at the end of the day, I reach for my fabric covered Bible and open the smooth pages.  Reading the New Living Translation (rather than my typical KJV) has been very refreshing.  Every evening, I read a portion of the Old Testament, a portion of the New, a Psalm, and a few verses in Proverbs.  It’s hard to stop at the end of the day, I am really enjoying this!

I am sharing my Bible with daughter Grace.  After all, like I pointed out to her, it’s a WOMEN’s Bible.  After reading it for the first time (she’s used to the KJV, too), she looked up at me and said, “This is much easier to understand than the men’s Bible!”

 My little boy, Caleb, put an apron on just like me, and volunteered to help make our breakfast;  homemade pancakes flavored with cinnamon and sweetened with Grandpa’s maple syrup, Grandpa’s best farm raised bacon and sausage, and Davy-do’s favorite potato latkes.

 As Caleb and I cooked, Rich got up out of our cozy bed and came out to the kitchen with baby.  It was about 7:30 in the morning.  We love our Saturdays; the one morning of the week when there is no rush.  Looking at this picture makes me want to go find Seth and kiss his feet.

 I’ve been trying and trying to take a picture of Seth’s walking and I think this one is perfect.  I love the white long-sleeved onesie he’s wearing, I love the blurriness that shows the quickness of his pace, and I love the little leg out in mid step.  He was all hyper this morning, from fooling around with his big brother Caleb. 

Later on, we all ate lunch together at McDonald’s.  The sugary coke I drank, as a special treat, made me giddy.  We know it’s time to leave when the food is gone and the leftover ketchup packets start flying at various family members (there were no other customers sitting near us or we would have behaved).  No, it was not me throwing them.

We went to the library.  Seth was sleeping so he stayed in his carseat carrier by Rich, who read a book while I helped the children find books to take home.  After wandering around in the opposite side of the library with Jacob, we returned to find Rich leaning back in his chair, sound asleep with his mouth open.  The library is warm, full of books, quiet, and makes us sleepy.

After a quick run to the grocery store, we’re home now.  Rich is running on the treadmill, Jacob is walking the dog, Grace, tired girl, is curled up in bed, reading. Seth is playing with Ethan, and 7 year old *new reader* David is sitting on the couch reading one of his books in a monotone voice.  I can hear him, and I’m proud.