Great thoughts on raising our children from you older ladies.  I was so very blessed, and tears streamed down my face as I read all you mothers explain your different experiences.  Thank you so much for taking the time to answer so thoughtfully.  I will be going back to read again and again.

One of the things that stood out to me was the advice to make sure that we keep our marriages alive.  To keep our husbands as our #1 priority, over the children.  Our children need to feel the safety of a strong parental relationship.

For the past month or so, God has been working in my heart when it comes to Rich.  He’s shown me some things that I was still clinging to in my own life (selfish ideas).  He showed me that I am still trying to change Rich in some ways, instead of changing myself to compliment him and his personality.  He showed me that I need to give more to my husband and to stop thinking of what Rich can do for ME.

There are many little opportunities throughout each day that I can take advantage of, to show my husband that I care.

It’s been a blessing.  I’ve repented of some selfish behavior, and Rich has noticed a difference.  In turn, he has been showering me with a lot more attention and thoughtfulness, too.  He would do anything for me, if he could.

What a difference attitude makes.  Attitude and a willingness to live for another person out of love and out of a desire to please God.

I have given my life to God. . . and to my husband.  My own agenda is back-seat.  I find so much more fulfillment in studying my man than trying to figure out new ways to make myself happier. 

What am I doing anyway?  I’m taking care of HIS house, HIS children, HIS needs.  When I think of it that way, a new tenderness comes into my heart. . .I want to make him proud, to make him happy to come home at night, to train our children to be a joy to him.

This morning Rich gave me, as always,  a kiss before he left for work.  But, he also turned around at the bedroom door and said, “You remember me today, and I will remember you.”

So sweet.  I like that.  We will both be busy with our duties, but in our minds we will be thinking of each other and remembering each other.

When we were in FL, we took advantage of the resort’s child care and we WENT ON A DATE. 

It was so wonderful.  We laughed and talked and spent our time at the bookstore and getting ice cream.

The laughter is what I remember the most.

After 11 years of “How to be a Good Mom”, I’m putting myself through a refresher course on “How to be a Good Wife.”  I am a book-person, but in this case I plan on studying my real-life husband, my Bible (which is TRUTH), and my own common sense (with a prayerful attitude).  I’ve been learning another lesson–that sometimes my books put way too many ideas in my head.  I’m going to read less “how to” type books.  Call it “simplification for Shanda’s brain.”  In this case, a good thing. 

Mother’s Day 2008

My arms are full. 

When I was a school girl I was often asked the question, “What are you going to be when you grow up?”  I always said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.  And look what God did. . ..he gave me the life I always wanted.

I’m just so content.  I just ate a yummy breakfast made for me by my husband, I’m sitting here in my robe, and I’m grinning.  Just like in the photo.

I praise God for the life He has given me.

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My mom was a wonderful example to me.  She is the reason why my heart is so content at home, being a wife, and mothering my children.

Happy Mother’s Day

“My soul shall be satisfied as with
marrow and fatness:
and my mouth shall praise thee
with joyful lips.”  Psalms 63:3-5

“Training up a child means showing them how to:  make corn tortillas, pedal a bicycle, make up a bed, put toys away, cook for forty people in one hour, read, demonstrate respect for others, and a thousand other wonderful things.  For a mother who loves her children, training is not a chore, it is a full-time all-consuming passion.  They are worth every minute of time and trouble to every dedicated mother.”

“Look into your child’s eyes and smile many times each day.  Take a five-minute break every thirty minutes or so to just play with him or her.  Never work alone; always have your ‘little buddy’ helping you.”

“God has given your children gardian angels who watch them from heaven.  You are their gardian angel here on earth.”

“How do you love your children?  By loving and honoring their dad.”

all quotes from ~Debi Pearl

“To Rose, ‘mother’ was more than a noun, feminine gender, it was an active verb, ‘the greatest career’, which she pursued with prodigious energy.  In her memoirs, Times to Remember, she elaborated:  ‘I looked at child rearing not only as a work of love and duty, but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world, and one that demanded the best I could bring to it. . .I have relished my role.’  She was teacher, nurse, social adviser, lay preacher, drill sergeant, camp counselor, and, in later years, campaign worker.  As her children arrived over a period of seventeen years, she considered her role in their lives:  ‘Whenever I held my newborn babe in my arms, I used to think what I did and what I said to him would have an influence, not only on him, but on everyone he meets, not for a day, or a year, but for all time and for eternity.  What a challenge, what a joy!'”

~Bonnie Angelo, writing about Rose Kennedy, mother of 9 children, including former Pres. J.F. Kennedy

Today is my Aunt Colleen’s birthday.  So, I just want to sit here and publicly say how much I love her. 

Colleen, I am so proud of you.  You have four beautiful girls and a great husband.  I admire your relationship with Roger and I’m glad I was there when you two fell in love and dated and married.  Those are great memories.  I admire how you are able to work hard as a nurse, and also homeschool your girls and take care of your family.

I’m glad you and I spent so much time together, growing up (we are less than 2 years apart in age).  I’ll always remember your little room and staying up late.  I was always awake the next morning WAY before you were, LOL, and I would lay there and wait.  I’ll always remember our forts, our long walks.  Riding the school bus.  Going to church.  Visiting you in college.  Watching “The Sound of Music.”  Milking cows.  Your bird, “Whistle”.  Making cookies (always snickerdoodles) and eating most of the dough raw.  And you were the only one who could make me laugh so hard I would pee my pants. 

Remember the chicken and cheese?  I really wanted to take some “artistic” pictures of chicken and cheese, to make you laugh, but I opted for flowers instead.

best of friends

family

shared memories

faithful love

tried and true

Happy Birthday Colleen, I can’t wait until our trip next weekend, when we can spend together without our 9 children running around us. . . . . . .we can talk about our memories together and make some new ones, too.

****************************************************

Some pictures from yesterday:

When I was busy getting lunch for David and Caleb, Caleb dumped his milk.  He was so funny that I just had to snap a picture.  His reaction to his spilled milk was one of sorrow and mourning.  “What did you do, Caleb?  What happened?” I asked. 

“I dumped my MILK all over da place!”  he said, tragically.

But when I took the picture, he immediately said, in a normal tone of voice, “Can I see it?” 

*******************************************

Also,

We got a package in the mail yesterday from the FedEx guy. 

You see, when we went to Florida, I, of course, spent lots of time carefully packing the children’s suitcases.  So, I was pretty surprised, when we got there, to find out that the children had brought all these stuffed animals with them.  Their stuffed animals are their favorite playthings lately.  They all have names.  They are friends.  So, the children wanted to take them along on our wonderful vacation.

Too bad that it didn’t turn out to be wonderful for the stuffed animals.

A hotel safe was in the boys closet.  The very day we arrived in FL, Ethan packed all the beloved animals in the safe, shut the door, and pushed enough buttons to lock it up tight.  Try as he might, he could not open it again.  For days, whenever we were in our rooms, I would hear quietly desperate “beep, beep!! beeping” as they all tried to get their friends out of that dark, sad place.  We were so busy that it wasn’t until our last night of vacation when Rich called the front desk.

The only people who could open the safe were the engineers.  And they wouldn’t be to work until 8:30 the next morning, hours after we had to be gone.

So, these little guys had yet another adventure.  Imagine their excitement, when the safe finally opened again and they could see the light of day.  Instead of the smiling faces of their children, instead of being taken to Disney, they saw the busy, unamused face of a grown man, who scooped them out and promptly placed them in yet another dark square box.  They got Fedexed.

We were all finally reunited yesterday.  But one-eyed Charlie bear is still wondering where Cinderella’s castle is.  They went through all that crazy traveling for nothing.

******************************************

Random question:  What do you think of me, with no bangs?  I never thought to grow them out, but after I swam in the pool in FL, Rich really liked my hair all back from my face, so I tried to fix it like that again.  I’m sort of undecided at this point, about whether I should grow it out.

**************************************

Lastly, *this is a long post*, some pictures of Davy-do, on a little (but very heavy) tractor that used to be Rich’s when he was a little boy.

If you mothers out there would like an inspiring read in honor of Mother’s day, may I suggest First Mothers, The Women Who Shaped the Presidents, by Bonnie Angelo?  Because I have mostly boys, this book is really interesting to me.  How DO you raise a future president?  No, I’m certainly not trying to do that, but it is very fascinating to read about all different sorts of mothering/eras in US history/different social standings/educations. . .that all led to a son in the oval office. 

Some nice, feel-good mothering quotes are peppered throughout:

“Her sons were privileged to spend a boyhood in her company, the memories were indelible. . .Mother was by far the greatest personal influence in our lives”  ~Dwight D. Eisenhower, speaking of his mother, Ida  (she had 6 boys!!  You should see their family portrait in the book, when the boys were all young, she has the best expression on her face, proud and amused is how I would describe her.)

Okay, that’s the end of a rather long post.    It’s time for me to go make pancakes for my dear little ones.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and that you take a moment to do something for your MOM, and if you are a mom, to remember all the reasons you LOVE BEING A MOM.  Maybe you could share a few with me today?  Or, perhaps share a special memory of your own mother. . . . . .

It is such a lovely morning.  It rained in the night. Last night was the first night we slept with the windows all open and so when I got up to make coffee I could smell the freshly rain-washed air.  The birds are happily singing.  I took my coffee out on the porch with my Bible.  I’m reading through Deuteronomy and finding such lovely phrases like

“And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee . . . .”

” . . .fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills. . . .”

“. . .on this side of Jordan toward the sunrising. . “

“. . .mercy unto thousands of them that love me. . . .”

and I love this passionate verse,

“O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children forever!” 5:29

and this one,

“Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations. . .”  7:9

(“a thousand” sounds so yummy, doesn’t it?)

Things I am thankful for this morning:

the hummingbirds are back and feeding at the feeders I have hanging on the porch

the ducks and geese that I have seen already today~the geese honk constantly as they are flying, what dramatics!

the rain we got last night (things look so much greener already)

my old diary that had me laughing and sighing last night (from when J and E were little, and G was a newborn)

my Bible~my favorite is the one I bought at a library book sale for 2 dollars

Christ in me~”Oh, to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer, this is my constant longing and prayer”

my family~my husband, especially

the spoonful of honey in the freezer that I found, which reminds me that I am a mom of curious children

my potential garden, I am itching to plant!  I plan on getting oodles of pansies and planting them all in a big mass someplace in my gardens.  I also need veggie seeds.

the tulips and daffodils I have blooming in the garden down by the pond, “big flowers” is what Caleb calls them

for memories, I’m thankful for my memories. . .sweet ones, ones that make me smile.  Moses kept telling the Israelites to remember how much God had blessed them and took care of them, and I want to do that too.  It’s a good thing to REMEMBER and thank God for His care.

(2 years ago, one of my fav. pics of Caleb and me) 

We went to the library yesterday and brought home 3 canvas bags full of books.

I picked out one titled, The Seasonal Hearth, The Woman at Home in Early America, and found this great quote:

“For a good, everyday household angel, give us the woman who laughs.  Her biscuits may not be always just right, and she may occasionally burn her bread, and forget to replace dislocated buttons; but, for solid comfort all day and every day, she is a very paragon.  The trick of always seeing the bright side, or, if the matter has no bright side, of shining up the dark one, is a very important faculty; one of the things no woman should be without.  We are not all born with the sunshine in our hearts, as the Irish prettily phrase it; but we can cultivate a cheerful sense of humor, if only we try.”

The Old Farmer’s Almanac, 1889, Robert B. Thomas

When we got back to NY from our trip to Orlando, we picked up Caleb and then went to my parent’s house.  We had a really nice time visiting and after our pizza dinner, Mom and I went for a walk.  We walked and talked energetically.  It was a special time, and we felt sort of like we were getting away with something, because we left the kids behind in the house with the men.

My mom’s childhood farmhouse is for sale.  It’s right up the road so Mom and I walked up there and around the yard, looking at my Grandma’s flowers that were coming up.  Across the road from the house there is a little area of trees. . .and I mentioned to her that I had only ever been over there one time.

“Oh really?  I used to play over there all the time with my brothers and sisters.  We used to sneak matches from the house and make a little fire.”  She laughed.  “We would get a cast iron pan and one egg and we would fry the egg and eat it.”

“Mom said later on that she always knew what we were up to.  But she let us do it.”

I don’t know why but that one little bit of information about my child-mom and her young siblings went straight into my heart.  I loved that little story.  Perhaps it’s because I have a little band of children of my own now and I can watch them, and smile at their childhood pleasures.

I want my children to grow up and tell their families fun stories about their childhood.

I guess that’s the reason why we celebrated our dog’s first birthday yesterday with a raw turkey cake.

Yes, a raw turkey cake.

I went to the store with the children and we bought 2 packages of ground turkey.  (buy 1, get 1 free).  We bought a tub of store bought icing, and a balloon.  On the way out of the store I whipped out a quarter and bought a handful of dog-bone candies from a gumball machine.

Jacob formed the “cake” on a cookie sheet and they all stood on chairs around the table and frosted it thick with frosting, while I squealed at the ones who tried to lick frosting off their knives after putting them on raw turkey meat.  Then we sprinkled on the dog bones and inserted one blue candle (that we did not light).

Out the door we went, into the bright sun, like a procession, down to Parker’s dog house.  He was standing and watching us, with his ears up.  Like, “What in the world is going on?”

I carried a bow and my camera.

Jake carried the cake.

Ethan carried the balloon.

We were all skipping.  It just couldn’t happen fast enough. 

We gave him his balloon and sang “Happy Birthday”.  I put the bow on his head.  He shook it off in no time.

Then we all squatted around and watched him eat his cake.  I think we used a bit too much frosting because he had to stop once in a while to smack his lips.  He didn’t like the candies and he gently put them back down on the grass.  We had to throw them in the pond to keep Caleb from getting them.

This was one birthday cake that we didn’t want to share.

So we had ice cream cones.

So Happy Birthday, you silly dog.  Thanks for giving me another opportunity to have a special time with my little ones.  I think they will probably always remember making you your raw turkey cake. 

And if they don’t, I know I sure will.

Epcot

(is 22 photos too many???)

Of course not!

Epcot:  The place with the big golf ball in the entrance 

A daughter’s little hand and faithful look

Little girl, don’t grow too fast and never let go of Daddy’s hand

Epcot had beautiful and creative gardens

I couldn’t resist this photo of a little girl dressed up as Snow White

Is she adorable or WHAT?  She’s even picking up her skirt!

My lunch at “Morocco”  (Epcot has different countries you can visit, it’s so fascinating)

It was a lamb wrap and it was GOOD!

Um.  Dave?

Our life with David=never a dull moment

(the coins ARE tempting, aren’t they?)

Little girl enjoying the one man/with a whistle/juggling show

It’s amazing what you can do with shrubbery and spare time!

My biggest boy, Jacob Richard, wearing a man’s size sandal. (!!)

Love you lots, firstborn, you’re the apple of my eye

Nemo with his pal Davy-do, this picture always makes me laugh. 

I need an enlargement of this one!

A quiet moment for the Princess

Mommy is happy after finally making it to France for coffee and pastries.

(even though she did have to share everything)

The cream puff was dreamy!

Ethan in “Canada”

My treasures

It was so much fun to taste soda from different countries

The t-shirt I didn’t buy  (I collect cherry things)

and other cherry things I didn’t buy! (isn’t my self-control amazing? LOL)

It took great effort to get this next picture.

Because Ethan was full of mischief and kept putting his hand in front of my camera just as soon as I clicked the picture!  I had an audience of strangers by the time I was done (we were in the way).

They all thought Davy was cute though.

Cute indeed!