(picture from our September trip to Colorado)

My husband~ Rich just recently got his yearly bonus for which we are very thankful.  The whole family sacrifices a little bit (missing him during the business trips and late hours) but he sacrifices a whole lot, his work is not back-breaking, but it is mind-numbing and non-stop thanks to modern technology!  However, the sacrifice is worth it when he is sufficiently rewarded for all the hard work.  It’s nice to have a little extra, in order to provide things for the children, and in order to give liberally to the Lord in a monetary way.  Sometimes I feel a little guilty about “having extra money” but the Lord gives to each certain gifts and ways to minister and money is one way to be a blessing.  I know that there are verses and warnings against the dangers of money (like loving it or becoming materialistic), but it is also clearly a gift as well.  Rich is one of the most generous men I know, and we would all gladly give all our possessions up for the Lord. 

Also, this past weekend, Rich traded in his truck and bought a 2007 Lexus instead.  The truck was big and blue and totally HIM, but ran on diesel and was becoming impractical for our needs.  Rich is in his vehicle every single day, driving back and forth to work, so I encouraged him to get something he would enjoy driving, and something that was safe on the roads.  (it’s snowing this morning!)  He spent most of the day on Saturday working on the purchase, and he really feels that God led him to this particular car….he got a great deal on it, a great deal on his trade-in, and a great warranty.  We now have NO payments on his vehicle, which feels great.  He bought it on February 13, so I am telling him it was his Valentine’s gift.

Rich is still running on the treadmill about three times a week, and doing very well with his eating habits and taking care of himself.  He looks great and feels good, too. 

He is going to start teaching Sunday School again, after taking a big break.  He is refreshed and ready to study and pour over books and his Bible again.  He loves the extra spiritual boost he gets from teaching.

(picture from a trip to a science center this summer, Jacob has probably grown another 3 inches since then!)

Jacob~  Oh my big son…how I love him so.  What a blessing he is.  What is it about those firstborns?  You lean a little bit on them at times,  I do believe.  Yes, he has his faults…one of which we are working on right now, is his tendency to think of himself too much.  If there is one cookie left he truly believes it IS HIS.  If he and a sibling both want to sit in the same chair, he truly believes HE HAS THE RIGHT.  It’s been fun to turn his world upside down and tell him that these are perfect opportunities to practice our biblical-thinking and GIVE UP to the other one.  Cheerfully give the very thing you want to your sister or brother.  And what a nice reminder for his mother, too!  Selfishness sneaks up on all of us, yes?  But I want Jacob to grow towards LEADING BY SERVING, not leading by force and bossiness. 

Jacob loves music, and drawing.  He likes playing board games with his siblings.  He loves to eat.

Last night Jacob helped me make dinner (made awesome mashed potatoes!), helped me feed Seth a snack.  We two talk together, and laugh so much.  Sometimes I worry that I am being more of a friend than a MOM, but then I get over it.  We are the way God made us to be.  He has given us a great relationship.

Rich and Jacob, as well, have a good bond.  Rich does great at toughening him up.  Jacob looks up to his Dad with such a sweetness, I can tell how much he wants to please him, as it should be.

Ethan~  E has been sweet since the day he was born.  He continues to be sweet, and silly, and getting mature, all the same time.  He walks with a skip and a bounce.  He enjoys laughing and making up stories.  He is very good at playing with the younger ones….Caleb and David especially adore big brother E.  He has a way about him that makes him everyone’s friend.  He is a little more thoughtless at the moment, however, he does his work, his schoolwork, all just fine, but you get the impression that he isn’t really THINKING a whole lot about it.  He just does it and moves on with life.  He has honest emotions and some innocent pride.  For instance, he ordered a special soda for himself when we went out to eat this weekend.  None of us had heard him order it and when it came we were all like, “Ethan, what do you have?  Can I have sip?  Oh cool, look at the bottle!”…E got this proud air about him, “It’s a Japanese soda.  It’s in a glass bottle.” (gives a little sigh while gazing at, and touching, his soda and licking his lips)…..he enjoyed the popularity and the pride of choosing something SPECIAL. 

If you praise him, he visibly puffs up in a shy but obvious way.  I love it.

Jacob calls him “me lad”….it sort of runs together, “How’re you doin’ me-lad?” 

Jacob and Ethan are such friends, such buddies, that I wonder how they will cope when the time comes that they might actually have to go their separate ways in life….but we won’t think about that now, will we?

Grace~  My daughter who is now 10.  Grace is a young lady now, but can certainly hold her own in the giggle and loud playing department.  She is mostly quiet and calm, but when she gets going she has us all rolling our eyes.  She only gets upset when she needs something to eat.  If you see her in tears, hand her a nice big plate of food and she’ll perk up in no time.  This is why, for her, there is the rule, “if you want to eat, eat.”  I trimmed her hair this weekend, a good 5 inches, because it was getting way too difficult to take care of. 

I want to start getting her to do more in the kitchen.  She has baked cookies and a cake but for the most part she is not as involved as some of her brothers.  I think it’s time that she could be my assistant, and it would be so fun to have a little girl-friend in the kitchen with me!

Grace loves animals….dogs, cats, horses, especially. 

She still plays with her dolls every day.

She likes to dress up in her pretty dresses.  She bought a book about Princesses with her birthday money a few months ago.

She bites her nails.

She is a leader in her own way, though, and can be quite authoritative at times, and gets a certain tone while speaking to her brothers.  (sounds a bit like her mama at those times, LOL)….I remember this summer when the boys caught a big ol’ crawfish from the stream and brought it to the house to boil it and eat it and GRACE WOULD NOT LET THEM.  She absolutely put her foot down.  I was quite impressed.

She and Davy sometimes pair off and play together for hours, doing who knows what.  They make up games and things to do and vanish for a while.

She loves to take care of the chickens, and studies and observes them.  She knows each of them by name.

David~  Our Davy.  David of course is a little boy, at seven years old, he is still eager to play and have fun all day long.  However, he is also learning to help and be a blessing and can do some chores now.  He especially enjoys collecting the eggs from the coop.  David goes to public school but this is his last year (he’s in first grade), now that he knows how to read and write I will begin to homeschool him, as well. 

He is in an ideal line-up in the family, with two older brothers and two younger brothers.  Depending upon his mood, he can play “big boy stuff” or “little boy stuff”…..he is the pesky little brother and the adored big brother all at the same time.  I think this is why he and Grace sometimes match up…they are more on common ground with each other.

He comes to me and hugs me during the day.  He cares about his loved ones.  He likes to send out mail to his Uncle David, who he is named after.  If Davy gets in trouble it is usually for fighting with Caleb. 

Caleb~  The one who has changed the most in the last year because now he is not a baby anymore.  He is big.  Oh, can this boy talk and talk and talk.  We are beginning to think he will be a preacher or a politician or some sort of speech-maker.  He is a handsome and solid boy.  I absolutely cannot lift him up anymore.  He still is a cry-baby at times, and so we are working on that bad habit at the moment. 

He still likes Thomas and wants to like Thomas for his whole life, but he is more “into” Bionicles now.  If you don’t know what they are…..they are made by the LEGO company and are these robot type creatures that you put together.  He is constantly taking apart or putting together, his bionicles.

All four of my older boys love Star Wars, although they have not seen but snippets of the movies.  I think the older boys saw maybe one or 2 of the older movies but that is it…however, they have light sabers, and someone who Rich works with (who also has boys, but they are older) gave them hand-me-down star wars toys like you wouldn’t believe….so, Star Wars is all the rage here.

They also like their stuffed animals…they are all named and are called, “the gang”. 

Caleb said to me yesterday, “Mom, me and David are BEST FRIENDS NOW.  We used to FIGHT.”

I was getting stressed out in the kitchen on Sunday, trying to bake.  David and Caleb were playing there on the floor and I heard Caleb say, “Dave.  Should we go downstairs?  So Mom doesn’t freak out?”

Yesterday Caleb and I took a nap together.  He’s a wonderful little boy.  I tell him he’s special and if it’s been too long he says, “Mom?  Am I special?”  And I say, “Yes!”

Psalm 23 is CALEB’S bible passage, and I like to take him to our poster that we have, and show him the pictures, and go over the words.  If we happen to hear someone else recite it, I say, “Caleb, they’re saying your verses!  You know them!”

Seth~  Seth has been extra grumpy the last few days.  He cut his third tooth so I am guessing that is the problem.  He is going to bed early and getting a nice long night’s sleep so something’s tiring him out.  Probably his busy family!  Seth gets passed from one pair of arms to another and absolutely DETESTS his playpen.  Caleb used to sit and play like an angel, not Seth.  He plays for a minute and then yells.  He likes to get into mischief, too, and we have all learned to keep doors shut.  One day he escaped outside.  I found him walking in the snow barefoot around the house.  He loves his pacifier, eating big boy foods, and we are slowly removing the bottle from his little life.  He is walking like a pro, and trying to run.  He can climb on things.  He hates the church nursery and cries hard when I leave him.  He settles down after a while and is usually happy when I pick him up after the service.  Seth is one year old and we have enjoyed him so much in the last year.  How fun it is to have a baby in the house!

Sarah Joy~  Although she is hidden from us, and still growing in my tummy, Sarah is a part of the family.  Jacob signed her name to my birthday gift.  She has been given gifts already.  I know of a few ladies at church making pink crocheted blankies.  I have her clothes hanging in my closet.  Yesterday Sethie was on my lap and Grace said, “Be careful of your baby sister!”  David pats my tummy and says, “How’s Sarah doing?”  And Rich, my love, gives her kisses.

A little snippet of conversation I had with Rich’s Grandma a few months ago:

Grandma:  “When Rich comes to visit me I will give him a few things that I want to send to you.  I have a few old books about Abraham Lincoln I thought you would like to have.”

Me:  “Oh, I’m so glad!  He is my favorite president!”

Grandma:  “Mine, too.  My sister Bessie liked George Washington, but I always thought Abraham Lincoln was the best.”

And so, to this lover of books, treasures came from Grandma, beautiful old books about our favorite President.  I thought that since it is President’s day, I would share a little something of them, with you.

Abe Lincoln’s Stories is a 248 page book (copyright 1879) full of little anecdotes about his life:  Early Life Stories, Professional Life Stories, White House stories, War Stories, and Miscellaneous Stories, like this one about his love for “the little ones.”

The story went on to say that Lincoln couldn’t bring himself to give his name (his autograph) to the little girl without giving it, as well, to the seven other little girls who were also present.  He sat down with eight sheets of paper and wrote a sentence and his name to each of them.

There was another story about a woman whose husband was about to be executed for some obscure reason, having to do with the war.  She had a baby in her arms and had been waiting for three days for the chance to speak to the President, and ask her husband’s pardon.  Lincoln overheard the baby crying and had her sent in to see him before her turn, and after hearing her story and plea, he granted her husband life, rather than death.  As she left the room, crying with relief, she was told it was “because of the baby” that the President showed such care and concern.

He loved children, and of course was a devoted father to his own two boys.

“Lincoln was, in his fixed quality, a man of sadness.  If he were looking out of a window when alone, and you happened to be passing by and caught his eye, you would generally see in it an expression of distress.” pg.229

“The books which Abraham Lincoln had the early privilege of reading were the Bible, much of which he could repeat, AEsop’s Fables, all of which he could repeat, Pilgrim’s Progress, Weems’ Life of Washington, and a Life of Henry Clay….in these books, read and re-read, he found meat for his hungry mind.  The Holy Bible, AEsop and John Bunyan—could three better books have been chosen for him from the richest library?”  pg. 19

I had Grace write this sentence from dictation….it was from a story I read the children this morning about how Lincoln rode his horse past a slough, where he saw a pig struggling for his life to get out of the mud…he rode several miles past but had to turn around and go back to rescue the pig, even though he had new clothes on.  He decided it was for selfish reasons that he did it, because he rescued it to relieve his own mind from thinking of the poor animal!

He was a man concerned with the motives of people’s behavior, including his own.

He was humble…when asked to write a sketch of his life for publication, he wrote in reply, “Born February 12, 1809, in Hardin County, Kentucky.  Education Defective.  Profession a Lawyer, Have been a Captain of Volunteers in Black Hawk War.  Postmaster at a very small office.  Four times a member of the Illinois Legislature, and was a member of the Lower House of Congress.  Yours, etc.  A. Lincoln.” 

He believed in God, considered himself a Christian, and took great comfort in knowing his son, who died as a child, was in alive in Heaven.

He was a man of many feelings and emotions, and was not ashamed to cry in public.

He was sincere and genuine, and “what you saw was what he was”.

He had an amazing work ethic and walked miles upon miles in order to work for money as he was growing up.

He was willing to help others.

He went out of his way to give attention and visits to his family members, walking miles if necessary, to spend time with them.

He loved his mother and step-mother dearly.  He was quoted as saying that “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother”….his mother died when HE WAS ONLY TEN.  His step-mother was quoted as saying that she and her stepson, “had the same heart”.

Grandma also gave me a two book set by Carl Sandburg.  These are the first books of a series about his entire life, written in a descriptive, thoughtful way.  I just started reading the first volume.

(there are clippings that Grandma collected through the years about Lincoln, slipped in the book jacket, with these two volumes)

I must say that the first reason that I decided, as a child, that Lincoln was my favorite President, was simply because I was born on his birthday.  But, the more I study and read about him, the more I feel that rather than the shared birthday, Lincoln is my favorite because he has the qualities that I so admire….a love for God, family, and others, and personality traits such as honesty, love, kindness, empathy, truthfulness, and humility.

He is a man I am proud to hold up as a hero for my own five boys.

In fact, a poster of Abraham Lincoln hangs in our school room, so I had the boys stand in front of it for a picture today.

When I was in Kindergarten, I learned a little song about Lincoln that I have since taught my own children.

“Abraham Lincoln, kind and good

He’s honored and loved by many.

To help us remember this President,

We put his face on our penny.”

I wanted the kids to sing it for you here, but they were too shy and silly. 

Happy President’s day! 

~Shanda

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Rich took the day off from work today and surprised me

by taking me to the spa for a couple’s massage,

a facial,

a hair cut and style,

and a pedicure.

My friend Kathy came and babysat the children. 

She brought me a gift.

An owl journal, and a bookmark.

(I’m a fan of owls)

While I was away, my friend Karen came over with a box of gifts.

It was homemade spicy cookies….adorable as can be.

(I love homemade cookies that smell of spice and are shaped like pictures)

A beautiful card, a book.

(I love reading)

My children surprised me with a gift.  I will treasure it always and always.

Jacob and I go on the Top Secret Recipes website and when he saw the book he asked his Dad if he could get it for me.  I was so happy when I opened it up!  My kids know me so well.

(I love baking and cooking)

My friend Christie sent me a gift.

(I love baking and cooking)

Another friend tortured me by sending me early gifts but made me not open them until the right day.

(I’m a fan of pigs)

Today, Grace found flowers coming up in a “hot spot” in our flower bed outside.

(oh joy! spring?)

Speaking of flowers, I was given a huge bouquet of pink roses today by my husband.

(I love the smell of roses)

Why all the fuss?  Why all the extra attention?

Today is my 34th birthday!

I’m feeling really really loved,

and it’s a delicious feeling.

All by herself, she mixed up the dough for the recipe she carefully chose herself; sour cream cut out cookies.

Then, with her mixed up dough, she gathered her supplies and settled down at the table to decorate, quietly.

This was some serious fun.

She thought, she considered, she decorated.  Every single cookie cutter and piece of candy, every sprinkle and every raisin, was looked at and admired.

I learn a lot from my own children…like how to do a single task with joy, how to make pretty cookies.  How to really see and admire the little things, to enjoy the doing of the job and not just the results.  Grace is a good one for this, she doesn’t do anything hastily…it’s always slow and steady with my girl. 

I’m ashamed at how many times I tell her to hurry up, when it’s really me that needs to slow down.

We are waiting for the snow to fall….it must be coming, right?  After all, school was canceled already and so Davy and I were cheering and yelling, “SNOW DAY” at 7:15 this morning.

But, it’s still not snowing yet!

After breakfast, I put dinner in the crockpot and it smells SO good already.  I’m not sure these crock pot dinners are a good idea, they make me long to eat all day.  I made sausages and peppers.  You brown sweet Italian sausage (or hot), about 2 pounds worth, in olive oil.  As it gently browns, you chunk up three bell peppers.  I used two red, and one green.  Put the peppers in the crock pot along with three minced garlic cloves, about 1/4 teaspoon of dried thyme, a big quartered yellow onion, and salt & pepper.  Add the browned sausage on top (you don’t have to completely cook the sausage, just brown the outside).  Oh I forgot to say, prick the sausage with a fork as you cook it…..then, after you remove the sausage to the crock pot drain off the fat and then return it to the stove.  Pour in 1/3 cup red wine to deglaze pan, bring to boil and scrape up all the brown bits.  Pour this into your crock pot and then cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.

When I was done, we all went outside for a little bit.  The children had lots of energy and I wanted to let Seth toddle around before more snow came.

As it was, he still needed lots of help to stay on his feet.  The only real shoes (he’s been wearing slippers in the house) I have that fit him are church shoes.  They worked fine for today, but I guess it’s time to buy him some sneakers, now that he’s walking.

He doesn’t need mittens because his coat is too big.  He’s wearing two pairs of pants.

His smile was so dear, he just loved being able to get outside.

We all gravitated toward the swingset.

When we were all outside, Grace turned on the hose to get some water (she said she needed it to make something out of snow)….well, the hose is full of ice and the water backed up into the basement (the boy’s bedroom) and after we all came in I discovered a huge puddle of cold clear water in the corner of their room.  It was too much to clean up with towels so Ethan had to go get Rich’s shop vac and vacuum it all up.  I am proud that he knew what to do…and nothing was ruined by the water except two books.

We’ve all had lunch now and Seth is to bed for a nap.  All that fresh air tired him right out.

I plan on doing some reading with the children and they need to finish up math and language for homeschooling today.  (the homeschoolers had their “snow day” yesterday….)

We should be getting movies in the mail from netflix today so we are looking forward to movie and popcorn time later after all our responsibilities are taken care of.  I can’t wait to watch “Parent Trap” (with Haley Mills), it’s been years since I’ve seen it.

Have a great day!

“To the small ones Mama often gave pieces of dough which they were free to shape and bake or eat raw as each child desired.  Sometimes the baked pieces had more than a tattle-tale gray color from much kneading by little fingers.  Such dough had a marvelous taste.”  from a story about baking bread with Mama, When Meals were Meals, by Maude Dickenson.

I got a box in the mail yesterday from my brother David.  He had been to a library book sale a few months ago, and picked out a couple of old cookbooks for me.  At the same time, I was here in CT, thinking of him, and sent him a treat in the mail, too (it was peach slice candy and mealworms for his birdfeeder, LOL, nice combo, huh?).

I just thought it was so sweet that we were both thinking of each other at the same time. 

I had a relaxing little rest time yesterday on the couch, reading a portion of this book, When Meals Were Meals, Recipes and Recollections from a Farmhouse Kitchen, by Maude Dickinson.  It is a book full of old family recipes, and the author’s lovely memories of her mama & papa, siblings, grandmother (who lived with them) and the farm hands.  I read about pancakes, and butter, and how they made apple butter outside every year.  I read about baking bread. 

On Mondays, Jacob, Ethan, and Grace all have music lessons.  I leave the house at 3:30 in order to get Grace to her piano lesson at 4.  I leave the three of them there, and Rich goes after work to wait out the remainder of the time with them, and to bring them home.  They are away from home for four hours, missing their normal dinner hour, tiding themselves over with snacks.

While they are away, I am home with the three little boys, and we are beginning a new tradition of baking for the musicians as we wait for them to come back to us.  Last week I made a double batch of homemade blueberry muffins.  I went to bed that night, smiling over the one lone muffin that was left on the table, out of 24.

Last night, we made homemade brownies and cornmeal yeast rolls (using recipes that I have already made, over and over).  I suppose all the reading I did in that old fashioned cookbook got me in the mood to make some bread.

“One of my earliest memories of my mother is associated with bread and its splendid fragrance as it baked.  Even now when kneading bread I find myself almost listening for the echoes of the lively life of our old farm kitchen.” ~Maude Dickenson

It was a cozy, together time, when Rich got home with the three older children.  David and Caleb ran to the kitchen, and we all stood around eating brownies and waiting for the rolls to finish baking.  We opened the oven door to peek, and to get a good whiff of one of the best smells in the world, homemade bread baking.

Brownies

1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
4 eggs
1 cup flour
2/3 cup Hershey’s cocoa
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350.
Blend oil, sugar and vanilla, then add eggs and mix well.  Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.  Add to egg mixture.  Stir in nuts if desired.
Spread in a greased 9 by 13 pan.  Bake about 20-25 minutes.  Brownies are better if you take them from the oven slightly undercooked.

Last night Davy cut himself a perfect square of warm brownie, right from the very middle of the pan.  When Rich came home, he thought I had done it!  (he knows I prefer the middle pieces)……..

Cornmeal Yeast Rolls

3 1/4 to 3 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
1 package active dry yeast
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
2 eggs

Stir together 1 cup flour, the cornmeal, and yeast.  In a saucepan heat and stir milk, butter, sugar, and salt until warm (120-130 degrees) and butter almost melts.  Add to flour mixture; then add eggs.  Beat with an electric mixer on low to medium speed for 30 seconds, scraping the bowl constantly.  Beat on high speed for 3 minutes.  Using a spoon, stir in as much of the remaining flour as you can.

Turn dough out on floured surface.  Knead in enough of the remaining flour to make a moderately stiff dough that is smooth and elastic (6-8 minutes total).  Shape into a ball.  Place in a lightly greased bowl; turn once to grease surface.  Cover and let rise in a warm place till double (about 1 hour).

Punch dough down.  Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface.  Divide dough into fourths.  Cover and let rest 10 minutes.  Divide each fourth of dough into 5 pieces.  Shape each piece into a ball.

Lightly grease a 9 by 13 inch baking pan.  Place the balls in the pan.  Cover and let rise in a warm place until nearly double (about 30 minutes).

Bake in a 375 degree oven for 20-15 minutes or until golden brown. 

I brushed melted butter on top, we ate them piping hot.  David dipped his into the rest of the melted butter and then dunked it into cinnamon sugar.  Yum! 

My washer and dryer are right by the kitchen table, in a long closet.

Just enough room in there for the appliances, cupboards up on the wall above, and a couple laundry baskets (on top of said appliances).

Washing & drying clothes for eight means this closet is in constant use. 

Seth likes to help me.  He helps push the clothes in (when I want them out) and he helps pull the clothes out (when I want them in). 

Jacob, Ethan, and Grace know how to do laundry but believe it or not, *most of the time* I like to do it myself.

I just don’t like to fold and put away, so they help me most with those chores.

One of my beautiful friends, who is also raising a large family, sent me a sweet note and this photocopy of a card her mother (who also raised a very large family) sent to her.  It’s in my little laundry area now, and brings a tear to my eye every time I stop….and read….and absorb the truth.

Celebration of Family

This is an ode to all the common

deeds in daily life that are done again, again and again which

knit the family together and make it holy.

A clothespin with GRACE written on it…..my daughter’s name.  Or the quality, the spirituality of God’s GRACE.

His grace which gives me the strength to perform the common daily tasks, for Him.  For my family.  I try to remember the gift of His grace.

Seth is at that age.  So curious and busy.  I try to keep the doors to my washer (a front loader) and dryer shut at all times.  Every once in a while I forget.

Last week I was upset, and crying……determined to not sit and be sad, but to do the next thing, laundry of course.  What a soothing, mindless task it can be.  I was quickly pulled out of the blues, and into the reality of life as a mama, and laughter, as I took wet clothes out of the wash…….and toys, and…..a raw potato, just as clean as can be.

I washed of all things, a potato!  I chuckled over that all morning, and am chuckling over it now.  Seth tossed a potato and all sorts of other things in the empty washer and I hadn’t noticed them at all until the clothes were ready for the dryer.  I hadn’t noticed them until just the right time, when I needed a laugh.

I thought about God my Father, and how that little moment of pure joy (and surprise) was a gift from Him.  There is purpose in every daily task, and smiles, and holiness, because this is what He called me to do.

Yeah, that’s what I’ll do, just think of myself as sick!

Actually, I’m just plain over-tired, and am off to a “great” start this morning getting irritated with my husband’s work schedule and wondering if it’s worth it.  And crying already.

I have maids coming today….the last time they were here they left me a note saying that if I want the most out of my cleaning experience that maybe I should help a little by picking up the “abundance of objects” on the floor before they come. 

I’m still mad about that.  But I totally exhausted myself yesterday picking up stuff like they asked me to, and directing the others to do the same, that when Caleb came over to me and wiped his sticky face ON MY ARM…I lost it with him…I can still see his crying self sitting on the bricks by the woodstove (where I sent him) dressed in his Buzz Lightyear suit.  I AM NOT A NAPKIN!

I also got mad and threw away a bunch of socks.  I did tons of laundry yesterday and was left with miscellaneous socks, “I’m THROWING THESE AWAY” I said as I burst into tears.

MOM!  THAT’s GOING A BIT TOO FAR!  says Jacob.

No, I don’t care, in they go……..and in they went.  Now whenever I match socks I’ll be wondering, “did I throw the mate of this one away?”  I hate socks.  I want to throw them all away and buy just one size of one brand.

I have a head ache, I just want to cry and have a temper tantrum.   I was snippy at Rich this morning when he said, “I’ll be home early today I promise.  It won’t be any later than five.”  I said, “Oh, okay, SEE YOU IN ELEVEN HOURS!”  I called him on the phone to apologize, but I’m still begging God to help me not be ugly toward him. 

I feel fat and unattractive.  Rich wants me to grow my hair back out to shoulder length and it is in such an awkward stage of growth….I’m heavier than I ever was in previous pregnancies and that makes me feel low, too.

Seth has a doctor’s appointment at 9:15 and then I plan on taking the kids to the bookstore.  Jacob has a gift certificate and I want to be out of the house when the maids are cleaning.

I’m “sick” I should be on the couch! 

Should I keep the maid service?  They clean the floors and dust, change sheets and make beds, scrub out the microwave, wipe counters, etc.  I know when I get home later I will be happy with the cleanliness.  Now that I’ve cleaned the entire house I could do that myself in an hour ro so, I’m sure of it.  I’m wondering if the stress of getting ready is worth it?  One good thing is that knowing they are coming does motivate me to clean really really good.

I’m just tired and I was mad when Rich said, “this is the hard part of pregnancy for you, the tiredness and emotions” but he is right……..

Can you pray for me today?  I know I’ve over-stretched myself when I don’t like life, my children, or my husband!  I really need to slow down today and get a grip.

Okay, gonna go get a tissue and get ready for the children to wake up……..(I’m going to go clean some more.  I can’t stop!  I told you I need prayer!)

I kept my eyes open *just for fun* yesterday, looking for the color pink.

February is my favorite month of the year…because it’s my birthday month…and Valentine’s Day, which I enjoy because of all the pretty pink and red thoughts that dance in my head.  The love, too, of course.  And the feeling that the freshness of spring is coming soon (just look at the flower department of the grocery store, how very encouraging to see the daffodils appearing!)

My rose fiesta mug was pink, and I enjoyed sipping my ice cold juice as I ate an egg sandwich and read the February 2009 edition of Somerset Life magazine. 

Caleb and Seth’s midmorning snack was a dark dark pink (otherwise known as red)….berry sweet, bananas & strawberries, with whipped cream on top.  (Seth ate his fruit off his high chair tray so he did not get cream.  I gave him a small puff of it right in his mouth.)

Grace Lillian sat at the table and began making her “Merry Valentine” cards.

I have a thing for pretty dishes and brought out my lovely Homer Laughlin China plates (I already have been using the sugar bowl) to use this month.

My baby girl, Sarah, has a so soft bear waiting for her to arrive in June and snuggle.  A cloud of pink in the form of a bear.  She’s sitting the midst of some of Sarah’s new clothes that Rich, Grace, and I bought for her last Saturday.

And my first Valentines, made with lots of glue, snips of scissors, odds and ends, and LOVE.

Have a wonderful day in the Lord today, my friends!  Have fun!

~Shanda