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About Shanda

wife, mom of seven, friend, child of God

when we give God praise, our hearts lift

Praise the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does such wonderful things. Praise His glorious name forever! Let the whole earth be filled with His glory! Amen and Amen. Psalm 72:19

I am now forty seven years old and my husband is forty nine. Five of our seven children have moved on to other places and are living life fully and with energy and curiosity, learning and growing up strong and capable. Three of them are now married, making our grand total of children, thus far, at ten. Rich and I are still busy at home with our two youngest; Seth is 14, Sarah 13.

The baby (Caleb) who began this blog with me so many years ago is now eighteen and attending college nine hours away (by car). He is doing so well and when I dwell too much on it, I start to get emotional. I know him like no one else, as good mothers do, we know our children. We love them deeply and honestly and keep the precious memories and observations close, in our hearts. And now he’s away living life more for himself, as he should.

So yes, I praise God for Caleb, off to college. His knee is better and he’s on the wrestling team. He’s making excellent grades and has friends and enough to keep him busy.

I praise God for Seth, who is now a freshman in HS. His friendly personality. His talent in sports and how exciting it is to watch him play football as starting QB on the Junior Varsity team.

I praise God for Sarah. As tall as I am now, the youngest of our children. She is my daughter and my friend. She is active with her friends, a cheerleader, in 8th grade now with a wisdom beyond her years.

I praise God for David, who is living his best life with a job he is flourishing in, and friends, and a girlfriend he enjoys spending time with. He isn’t afraid of jumping into each day with both feet, and has a lot of adventures to tell us about when he comes to visit (and collect his mail).

I praise God for Grace and for her husband Brogan. They are coming to visit this week. Both so smart and interesting, both deep thinkers, musicians and writers and readers. Friendly, good people. How I love to get to see, as their mother, how they grow and live.

I praise God for Ethan and his new wife, Sierra, my sweet daughter in law. How I adore her, and it makes me smile to see them together. Ethan as his Dad’s assistant coach for wrestling, Ethan working hard at his full time job, Sierra continuing her studies (dissecting hearts this week), and working at the vet downtown , frequently tempting us with pictures of adoptable cats and dogs.

And last but not least, I praise God for our firstborn Jacob and his wife Brittnee. Because guess what? Yes they are also *Doing Interesting Things to many to tell*, but most importantly…………………..

They are expecting OUR FIRST GRANDCHILD, who we know is a little GIRL, in January.

(insert extraordinary excitement unmatched by any other prior experience in my life)

There are words, but not enough, to describe how thankful to God I am, to be here for this.

To morph into Grandma Shanda!! Daughter, sister, cousin, wife, aunt, mother, and now …..Grandmother. I’m here for it!!

I have a lot of love to give. And there is just nothing like that sweet experience of loving, in this life journey. Every year, every day, every moment, every person in my life is an opportunity to love and be loved. Oh God, give me Your abundant grace to face the beauty of each day. Thank you for allowing us to live wholly and nourishingly, knowing You as Creator and Savior, and Giver of all good things.

“Here’s a new day. Oh Pendulum move slowly!” -Harold Munro

oatmeal for days

My cholesterol was a little high so I’ve taken to eating a nice bowl of steel cut oats in the morning. I microwave it to cook nice and creamy. The bowl has to be larger than you would think, or we have a spill-over. If that happens I tip the plate and scrape the oats back into the bowl because I don’t want to lose even a spoonful. Then I wash the plate again and put it back in the bottom of the microwave. If you use a larger bowl this won’t happen.

It takes about three minutes to cook the oats the way I like them. This morning I had the idea to drizzle orange juice on top, and a little dab of thick Greek yogurt, too. A sprinkle of salt. A good wholesome breakfast.

I vacuumed the car this morning. I found an extension cord in the big bin on the porch and used it to plug the vacuum cleaner into an outlet. I washed the mats and dried them in the hot sun. I wiped down the interior with wipes made for that purpose. My aunt is coming in a few hours and I am driving us to the cabin and wanted us to have a clean car to enjoy. It’s a beautiful morning, crickets singing, leaves blowing gently across the driveway in the wind. Blinding sunshine, colors in the trees, and this morning a thick misty fog.

I walked Rich to the car. The children had already left for school. It was just us! He looked so handsome and cute I had to take a photo before pretending I was a traffic director and pointing him out of the driveway to work.

very handsome man

Before taking a shower I took my things out to the front porch and did my Bible reading and Discipleship lesson for today. I read about Abraham and the men and women of those chapters dealing with God’s covenant to him, and promises so amazing that Abraham’s wife laughed to hear them. I had the front door open nearby and the cats came in and out as I sat and read and wrote and thought and looked at the sun begin to burn away the cloudy air.

very handsome cat

Actually this cat caused two uproars this morning . He attacked poor Sherlock as he was napping innocently in my room, and then he attacked Sam who was sitting on top of my fiestaware hutch, causing things from my collection to fall along with a strand of lights, a vase, another vase, and a metal tin to fall with a crash as cats ran away in fear. It prompted me to list a set of tiny animal figurines to eBay as they were in the path of destruction and somehow survived unscathed. I also listed an old first edition book, and Ronald Weasley’s wand. I packed up an old cocoa tin to mail out. Took a shower, did some laundry because as you know, it never ends, and now am sitting cross legged in a big comfy chair, with Sam on one of my legs; she’s purring.

I started watching Netflix’s Snowpiercer last night and am going to make a fresh cuppa and finish it now.

Happiest of Thursdays to you my friends!

We are loved. I’ve lived many days, have seen the hand of God in each one, and have passed through the fire and I know it’s true.

*********

“If you want to understand God’s ways, go out and observe His handiwork….ask questions, search for answers…He will fill you with wonder and praise.” B. Schultz

for I was hungry….

Seth went grocery shopping with his dad the other day and bought Oreos and Nutty Buddies and all kinds of sugary snacks and then came home and ….. hid them from his sister! I know, shocking! And I get to hear all about it!

She got off the bus today and came in the house to continue the topic that began yesterday. “I was right, he DID hide them from me Mom, he was eating a Nutty Buddy on the bus this morning….he HID them, he hid the snacks from me, why……”. Her voice faded at she searched around the pantry for something to eat.

I watched as she searched and then “heard a prompting”——I thought to myself, “my poor daughter is hungry maybe she would like pancakes”. And so I said;

“You sound hungry. Can I make you pancakes?”

She stopped rummaging and looked around the door frame, “Pancakes? Fluffy ones? With chocolate chips? THANK YOU!!”

I got up off the couch and set to work. No milk? Thank goodness there was a can of evaporated milk in the pantry. Soon I was flipping golden circles and serving them with plenty of butter to a happy daughter sitting in a sunbeam. It was fun!

I thought about Jesus’ words in Matthew:

And I thought about the way we can notice each others’ needs and pains and struggles and how so often I might feel that prompting to “do something”.

Sometimes people are hungry but it’s not for bread. Sometimes people are thirsty, imprisoned, sick, and it’s not what first comes to our minds when we hear those words.

Sometimes an addiction is prison.

Sometimes grief is a sickness worse than Covid.

Sometimes people are thirsty to be noticed.

And people hunger to be known.

To be seen.

As we listen to the promptings to do something, anything, to lift the burden of a child, a friend, a neighbor, and we not only hear them but take action, we realize once again why Jesus tells us to love each other in these tangible ways. Not only does it count as doing something for Him, as if that wasn’t enough reason, in so doing, we also receive benefits. We are likewise lifted up, and our heart inclines…… to joy. And joy, that Divine, real joy, is our strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) Strength for today and tomorrow and all the days to come.

Let me give. Let me see. And let me be thankful for what is given so generously to me, as well.

Half a cup of blueberries and one raspberry

From New Hampshire

Good morning, I am writing to you from my small little art table upstairs in my bedroom in the cabin. Sarah is the only person here with me and she is still sleeping in the dark and quiet basement (finished), curled up in the top bed of the bunk bed, where it is so very nice and cool……..it’s as humid as can be this morning. Everything is covered in humidity outside and so was I, when I went for a little walk around. I saw people, flowers of all kinds, a daddy long legs, the lake, slugs, mushrooms of all kinds, charming lake homes, trees, crows, a male cardinal, and……

my first quarter cup

……and wild blueberries, of which I am quite acquainted with because I, along with my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings, grew up surrounded by them. I suspect they are part of my genetic make up at this point. I’ve eaten them from hand, in jam, in pies, in coffee cakes, and my favorite; in muffins.

I said hello to the first bush I found about a week ago here right next to the dirt road that we walk from our cabin down to the lake. I said, “Hello, are you related to anyone in Afton, NY?” And this bush replied to me, “It’s possible, anything’s possible you know.” Then I asked if I could pick it’s ripe berries and it said “Please do, they itch me so, I’ve been waiting for berry lovers to come around and notice and you’re the first.” This is is all true. It was a small sized bush without many branches and I’ve been stopping by almost daily to pick what it had to offer. This morning, just an hour ago, I tied on my sneakers and set out for a quick jaunt. My friendly blueberry bush had a good 1/4 cup for me. I got every ripened one, and ate them, thinking of antioxidants and how each small berry had a slightly different taste and how amazing that was and……..

the second 1/4 cup

……and all of a sudden, I found three more small bushes right next to the road, this time on the left hand side. After proper introductions I proceeded to pick berries, oh and I also met the Daddy Long Legs Spider -quite handsome he was- but camera shy. I walked away again eating berries and thinking to myself of walking with a cup and making muffins.

(A mushroom interlude)

I was just about home when I found the one raspberry.

promptly eaten

And so we pick what is good as we go about the day, taking what there is for us to gather, enjoying, thanking, smiling, knowing from Who’s hand every good thing comes. A thousand and a thousand good things— if we only have eyes to see we will then have a heart which is large and grateful.

**********

“May I remember the bright hours that found me,

Walking over the silent hills of my childhood,

Or dreaming on the margin of the quiet river,

When a light glowed within me,

And I promised my early God to have courage

Amid the tempests of the changing years.”

Max Ehrmann

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.  Genesis 1:31

grief is wild

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

Good morning friends, here I am, still in bed upstairs in the NH cabin. The windows are open, and a fan in the window is powerfully pushing in the cool air of this beautiful still new day. And don’t you just love a new day?

How are you? I pray these early summer days have been lovingly warm and comforting for your sweet souls. Love is what matters most. And love can be found anywhere thanks be to an everywhere at once God (Who literally IS love, 1 John 4:7) and His merciful ways……in the very act of living itself, in a pet, a purpose, community, Scripture, art, relationships. Giving, creating. Knowing. Being known. Alive. Awake.

For God so *loved*…..

In the beginning, God *created*…..

Take my yoke upon you and *learn of me*….

For the very hairs on your head are numbered and He knows each tear that falls from your eyes.

The very eyes that were once blind, but now can see. See beyond the surface, we are “far from the shallow now.” We are in deep where life is an continual feast.

If I stop and consider all the ways I am loved my cup is neither half empty nor half full—it’s overflowing from an endless rushing fountain. I happily stand, flooded by love on every side. My house on the Rock stands firm.

As Mother I find my strength in Love. Yes, I have ten children, but I know now that I would be a mother even with no children of my own. Quite simply, mothering is half of my one whole Purpose. And as such, I simply must spend time basking, bathing, being consumed, in and by the love of God. Remembering. Believing. Accepting. Receiving. Only in this way will my weaknesses become strength.

To Mothers and Lovers, (Lover-the second half of this “life purpose” of mine), to mothers and lovers, grief is wild. To live here on earth, in this world, is to suffer deeply from pain and loss. As I woke this morning I remembered times throughout my whole life when the anguish of loss was so great I had to go into the woods to scream and cry. My body took over and my mind was lost. In this way, grief is a very dark and frightening place. At times the Mothers and the Lovers have no one near enough to console them in their passionate grief. This is where we end, and the mystery takes over. Questions unanswerable like “why”, “how” . And we learn another truth; even unanswerable questions have their own deep magic. Things unseen. The very definition of Faith. The hope of that Someday, when we know fully the things we only know now in part.

Faith, and Hope, these unbreakable divine powers, are how we keep on keeping on.

But the greatest of these, is Love.

a word from the lake

We are in New Hampshire for a little bit, I arrived on Wednesday and Rich and the three youngest kids came on Thursday. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, thinking, watching tv, and spending time with the family and in the kitchen.

Life has been as full as ever. Dear Caleb goes off to college in August which bothers me very much because I will miss him and the time of raising him went by so sweetly and so quickly. He’s always been such a gentle captivating boy.

I made homemade rolls the other day and currently we have a cake cooling on the stovetop. Sarah mixed it up herself, and as it mixed she drew a heart with her finger on the bottom of the pan after she buttered it. She’s a dear soul. Neat and organized, an avid reader, and oh so fun and wise. She held my hand tightly as we waded into the lake together this afternoon. I did up her long blond hair in two French braids there, too.

The lake is beautiful. Of course it’s much different from the ocean on Jekyll Island, and I found myself alone there yesterday morning when I couldn’t sleep anymore. I walked to the edge and looked so far across, and saw the mountains. I waded into the chilly water with bare feet. What I noticed most of all was what the lake was saying; “Lap. Lap. Lap.” I thought of motherhood and all the times I had the children on my lap. I always loved having them so close. As a mother with a very deep mothers’ heart, I listened to the lake and felt a very deep connection. It spoke to me.

hot sauce

Dave has been gardening with me this year, he wants to make hot sauce so whenever I see hot pepper plants I buy them. These are from Tractor Supply and are jalapeño and habanero plants.

It’s very dry outside so I am doing a lot of watering.

It’s nice to be in this stage of life, I can keep up with my hobbies with less urgency and frustration.

I took a perfect picture

Quite by happenstance, I was on the phone with my dear daughter, child of my heart, who was visiting with a groundhog while we talked of many things and I also had a visitor, a little friendly chickadee. I put dear daughter on speaker so I could still listen as I used my phone to take a photo of the Friendly Bird and just as I took it……along came one more.

one became two

And the white trellis and the bleeding heart bush (I have a bleeding heart, I bet you do too, you know—one which is tender and aches for the lovely *and* the sad things). The rocks and everything in the photo, just right!

Meanwhile Grace was also snapping photos of her groundhog:

I was looking through my old scrapbooks and came across this quote:

“Sometimes I arrive just when God’s ready to have someone click the shutter.” (-Ansel Adams, professional photographer—famous for his black and white photos.)

Life can seem chaotic and random but it really isn’t. It’s orderly and full of purpose and meaning, if only we have the eyes to see. Applying our hearts to wisdom, we come to understand what a wondrous feast life is, and all that truly matters.

We click the shutter on a captured love-moment and in this way praise and thanksgiving becomes our daily song.