It’s going to take me a little while to get used to this.

Will I ever get used to it?  Please tell me I will.

On this very morning, the last day of August,  Jacob and I went to the car dealership to finalize the purchase of his very first car.

I sat in my vehicle as he pulled away, with a police car following him (it just so happened).

I felt extremely nervous for him, the same kind of nervousness I feel at every major event, and full of adrenaline…I know in my logical brain that all is well and that this day is not as shattering as I feel that it is.  But there is a disconnect between my head and my heart.  Or is it a battle– a battle that my heart ALWAYS wins in these situations?

I watched him drive away, slowly and carefully, with a police car right behind him and several more cars, too.  They were all probably wishing he would go a little faster but it was his first drive in his own car.  (other than the test drive)

He was on his way to his first day of college.  English class started at 11 in the morning.

I went next door to the grocery store and picked up groceries feeling completely alone, with heart palpitations, shaky hands, and burning eyes.  Thank goodness for Rich, who was texting me that he loved me and everything was going to be okay.  I saw young moms with their small children in the carts and I couldn’t stand it……I wanted one or two of mine back……but then, think of all the many times I went grocery shopping wishing I could concentrate and just get it done without the little voices asking me for everything they saw or little feet trying to run away from me in the parking lot?

A few times I caught myself talking to myself out loud in the store.

I kept wondering if Jacob was getting into an accident.  I know it sounds terrible, but he is a new driver and the roads can be so busy…he has to drive the highway every day, he has to merge and change lanes and …… (!!)……

There was nothing to be done but go on my merry way, trusting my Jesus, but feeling a little bit lost just the same.

I came home and put the groceries away, let out the chickens, changed into shorts, made salisbury steak in the crock pot.

I finished my book and ate Cinnamon Bun Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.  I had to!  It was therapy — and it was delicious.

I finished up my Bible reading for the day.  I love the book of Job.  I’m also reading 2 Corinthians.  There were two verses that “jumped out” at me today (you know what I mean?)

“As God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving and God will receive more and more glory.”  2 Cor. 4:15  (*more and more* I love that!)

“For we live by believing and not by seeing.”  2 Cor. 5:7  (what an unusual way to live, a way that works only by the “magic” and power of God Himself, through faith and constant communication with Him.  I love how life in Jesus is so strange and wonderful.  Think about it, there are probably angels all around me, my family, your family at this very moment, and I know for a fact that God Himself is always always near!).

Jacob texted me at 12:15 to let me know that he had made it to school and had his first class.  I was so relieved.  His day is done at 2 (right about now!) and I will wait like Forrest Gump at the end of the movie until he pulls into the driveway.  I can’t wait to hear all about it.

I am proud of myself because I didn’t let on one bit to Jacob that I was nervous for him.  I didn’t want to be anything but supportive.  So don’t tell, ‘k?

Having conversations with no one at the grocery store AND the blog today….I’m getting scared now.  LOL

2011 VW Jetta TDI  and my grown up son…

Simply trusting every day;
Trusting through a stormy way;
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by,
Trusting Him, whate’er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Brightly doth His Spirit shine
Into this poor heart of mine;
While He leads I cannot fall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Singing if my way be clear,
Praying if the path be drear;
If in danger, for Him call,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting Him while life shall last,
Trusting Him till earth is past,
Till His gracious advent call,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Edgar Page Stites