I finished a book this afternoon which I can highly recommend; The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton and Lara Love Hardin.
Good afternoon, friends! Rich went paddle boarding with the kids today on the calm morning ocean, and while he did so, I slathered on sunscreen, grabbed a water bottle, and biked over to the Jekyll Island Club resort. The ride was meditative and I found myself saying over and over; “Heart to God, soul to God, mind to God”. And then I thought about my flesh. Does that go to Him, as well? I sure don’t want it. Would He? I ended up deciding, “yes”…..”flesh to God”. He’s the only one would can handle it, right? Someday we will be made completely NEW. I am lonely for my real self. I am lonely for That Day. I am aching for Home.
I also contemplated relationships, and compassion and how the one is ideally permeated by the other. I have ideas, exciting ones that I can’t tell you about yet.
So I pedaled and pedaled the bike trail. I stopped to look at a lizard, it turned out to be dead, poor thing. I also almost ran over a second lizard, this one was young and I could tell it wasn’t used to bikers because it didn’t run away from me, it ran all over the trail like it wanted me to hit it. I screamed a little scream like I always do when I almost run over something (startling everyone in the car) and looked back….it seemed okay, maybe a little shocked.
My goal for the next few days is to get going on my bike more gracefully, I realized that I get on and wobble everything, mostly the handle bars and front tire, for about 10 to 12 feet before I find my balance.
By the time I got to the club, I was moving much slower, had the beginnings of a headache, and was hot and sweaty through and through. I parked my bike, it’s turquoise with a wire basket, and climbed the steps wearily to the white rockers on the front porch. The wooden floors are painted blue there, and lazy fans circle from the ceiling. Big, generous hanging baskets decorate the front, and now and then people wander by…..my favorite being a tiny girl who locked eyes with me and smiled all the way out of sight, turning her head to keep looking, and I smiled back. Connection.
Rich texted me when he got back inside our cottage from the beach with the three kids and I asked them to come over and have lunch with me. While I waited, I sat and read my book and rocked. When they arrived, my heart filled with joy. They all had their eyes on me and looked so clean and happy. The ocean agrees with them. Sarah was wearing her new shoes, Caleb’s shirt matched his shorts, and Seth looked so dark and tan in his red t-shirt which I had bought for him when we first got here in May.
We ordered our food and ate inside, in the cool air conditioning.
Then, I didn’t want to bike back home. Caleb nicely took my bike back for me and I rode home with Rich, Seth and Sarah in the car.
Now we are relaxing. I just got done coloring my hair and Rich is on the couch, starting the book I just finished.
The other day, I was in the laundry room folding clothes when Seth came in. He leaned against the washing machine and sighed, “I love it in here, it smells so good.” I told him the story of when Colleen and I, as children, discovered the warmth and comfort of the laundry room. “We used to shut the door and sit on the washer and dryer and play. If I had a chair in here I would sit in here all the time.” “You WOULD?” he said……..”We need to get you a chair!”
He’s the only one of my children who puts their head inside the washer as I load it, he even sniffs the empty jug of Persil in the sink. “You are so funny,” I say, “you could be a commercial for Persil.”
I only buy that brand because it smells wonderful. I smile that he noticed.
Now, it’s been a few days since that little conversation and I’m loading the washer again.
And I see it.
Our one and only beach chair.
The last time I saw it was yesterday when Sarah carried it back from the beach for me and put it away in the garage. It was covered in sand, and was now clean and set up right in the spot I had pointed to, when I had told Seth I would sit, if I only had a chair to sit upon.
He did it for me, without saying a word, and left it for me to find. I ran down the stairs and told him thank you and I loved him so much. I blew him a kiss, which he returned with a smile.
You’ll most likely find me, in the laundry room.