messy beautiful

friday bowling
mom of boys
Jacob, and Steven King
my life, my loves
messy beautiful!
seafood lunch at Coopers
back home
life is good
mama duck
my girlies
oh the smell of lilacs!
quite jaunty
mother’s day morning
Rich and Gracie
amazing!
Grace and her dad
me and my mama
gaming
healing
my darling brother
my all time favorite
I didn’t have to drive this time
dear daughter
another dear daughter
snow!!!!
snow on Mother’s day
Mom told me to make cookies
so I did, this morning and I also burned my finger terribly. I had three cookies for breakfast.

Sharing my heart..

I was lovingly reminded yesterday that God is not waiting to come down on me like a hammer everytime I get my toe out of line…….and then, this morning I read this verse, “The Lord doesn’t see things they way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

The Lord KNOWS MY HEART. When I don’t even know it, He knows it. He knows I want to please Him, He knows I beat myself up all day long over my percieved failings, He knows that I grieve and cry and long and hope and desire and love and give and give and make myself vulnerable and I fail and fail but I’m loved and I’m beautiful to Him.

In life’s choices, I choose HIM. To think this way is freeing to me.

He cares for me like no other. He knows I am nothing but dust, he knows my messy humanity and He understands. He knows I’m treading water here, trying to keep myself breathing. (Please don’t worry about me, I’ve never tried to keep depression/anxiety/perfectionism and my super-sensitivity to life and these things a secret. I’m okay, and people can be okay even when dealing with strong emotions.)

Anything that makes me small and Him big……is a good thing. Even though it can be painful. In this way, self righteousness is dealt with, and a true understanding of my need (and His provision!) is realized. No, I don’t want self righteousness or sanctimoniousness (from myself…..or others, either.) It creates fear. “Your boasting is not good. You know that a little yeast leavens the whole bath of dough, don’t you?” I corinthians 5:6…

We are to have mercy, and show love and grace. To others…..and to our selves.

“I want your constant love, not your animal sacrifices. I would rather have my people know me than burn offerings to me.” Hos. 6:6

So, Mother’s day weekend. On the inside I was a storm of thoughts and emotions, but on the outside……life continued and there was joy and smiles and love. How funny it all is! A perfect mix of sadness and joy, love and sorrow, good and bad, seriousness and frivolity. So topsy turvy! “It is what it is” Maybe someday I’ll find an even keel. (yes, you can laugh at that).

“In acceptance lieth peace” ~ Hannah Hurnard

I accept it all, kind Father, often with great struggle, but thank you for loving me and being patient and kind. Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning.

thank you for visiting my blog, friends.
you are loved

8 thoughts on “messy beautiful

  1. Love all the pictures! ❤️

    Hebrews 2 has been such a sweet passage lately to me.
    Here is a portion… but I encourage you to read the whole passage. 😊
    “Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. But we see him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.
    For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying,
    “I will tell of your name to my brothers;
    in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.”
    And again,
    “I will put my trust in him.”
    And again,
    “Behold, I and the children God has given me.”…….

    I love this thought… “he helps the offspring of Abraham“—- that’s us! Those who trust in him! ❤️

    Hope find encouragement and comfort in this chapter asI have!

    Love you!
    Bridgette

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this, I needed to hear this! Mothers Day was a little hard for me and I was beating myself up over not feeling thankful or grateful enough- I certainly do have the most wonderful husband and baby- but I was feeling a little disappointed in how everything turned out which then made me feel guilty for having those feelings. I see every failure of mine and obsess over them and think I’m not good enough and not nearly as often as I should do I stop and think about how God loves me just as I am. Thank you for sharing!

  3. I love your blogs. It helps me know how better to pray for you and love you as God does. You mean so much every day to do many including me. Have a wonderful night. God is watching over each of us .I wish I could be there to give you a hug.

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