I have no problem with incontinence. I’ll very likely be incontinent sooner rather than later. In fact, now and then I sneeze and have a startling moment of it already.
I woke up yesterday morning, went to the bathroom, and realized that it was that time of the month again, and I had nothing with me in the hotel Rich and I were staying in. “Can you run out and get me some pads while I get ready for the day?” He was happy to do so and even asked me what exactly I required. “I want natural cotton, WITH WINGS.” “Wings?” “Yes, wings, pads, natural cotton.” “Okay, I’ll be right back.”
I put on my make up and got all pretty for our day. Eventually, he returned, and he was annoyed.
“That CVS is terrible! They had like NOTHING. These are THE BEST I could find for you, the very best.” In all his honest manly innocence, he handed me the plastic bag and I opened it.
My heart sunk. I felt terrible. Should I pretend they were what I wanted? No, no, I had to say something. “RICH THESE ARE FOR BLADDER, NOT FOR PERIOD!”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Rich it says right on the box, look here on the back, these are made for ‘drips, spurts, bursts, surges, streams, and gushes. I can’t. I can’t wear these. I have to return them.”
I was close to tears. Somehow, although we were both laughing, the thought of using a product for incontinence just wasn’t something I could do. Is it because I could see it so vividly in my future? Or because,
on this very day,
the day Rich bought me a box of bladder pads,
we were celebrating
our TWENTY FIFTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
and my “getting older” emotions were already red-hot aching for all the years that have come and gone?
Not to mention, that after 25 years he could STILL make such a shocking error?
By the time we got in the car to drive back to CVS, I was recovered enough to start documenting the whole thing, “I truly believe God gives me experiences like this so I have fodder for my writing.”
From the outside of the box, I could certainly understand the mistake.
But the back. I can’t even tell you how my sensitive soul reacts to these words, this idea. I mean, praise the Lord we live in a time that products exist like this to help us stay dry, but still.
He eagerly went inside with me and wanted to show me exactly where he found them, “They were way back here in the far corner, come here and see!”
“Wow, what a surprise!!!” I say, sarcastically.
A sense of humor is a must. After 25 years of marriage it’s my go-to response, if I can possibly muster it up.
Happy Anniversary, husband.
Isn’t it fun to do life together?