incontinence

I have no problem with incontinence. I’ll very likely be incontinent sooner rather than later. In fact, now and then I sneeze and have a startling moment of it already.

I woke up yesterday morning, went to the bathroom, and realized that it was that time of the month again, and I had nothing with me in the hotel Rich and I were staying in. “Can you run out and get me some pads while I get ready for the day?” He was happy to do so and even asked me what exactly I required. “I want natural cotton, WITH WINGS.” “Wings?” “Yes, wings, pads, natural cotton.” “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

I put on my make up and got all pretty for our day. Eventually, he returned, and he was annoyed.

“That CVS is terrible! They had like NOTHING. These are THE BEST I could find for you, the very best.” In all his honest manly innocence, he handed me the plastic bag and I opened it.

My heart sunk. I felt terrible. Should I pretend they were what I wanted? No, no, I had to say something. “RICH THESE ARE FOR BLADDER, NOT FOR PERIOD!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Rich it says right on the box, look here on the back, these are made for ‘drips, spurts, bursts, surges, streams, and gushes. I can’t. I can’t wear these. I have to return them.”

I was close to tears. Somehow, although we were both laughing, the thought of using a product for incontinence just wasn’t something I could do. Is it because I could see it so vividly in my future? Or because,

on this very day,

the day Rich bought me a box of bladder pads,

we were celebrating

our TWENTY FIFTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

and my “getting older” emotions were already red-hot aching for all the years that have come and gone?

Not to mention, that after 25 years he could STILL make such a shocking error?

By the time we got in the car to drive back to CVS, I was recovered enough to start documenting the whole thing, “I truly believe God gives me experiences like this so I have fodder for my writing.”

From the outside of the box, I could certainly understand the mistake.

But the back. I can’t even tell you how my sensitive soul reacts to these words, this idea. I mean, praise the Lord we live in a time that products exist like this to help us stay dry, but still.

He eagerly went inside with me and wanted to show me exactly where he found them, “They were way back here in the far corner, come here and see!”

“Wow, what a surprise!!!” I say, sarcastically.

A sense of humor is a must. After 25 years of marriage it’s my go-to response, if I can possibly muster it up.

Happy Anniversary, husband.

Isn’t it fun to do life together?

14 thoughts on “incontinence

  1. Wow. What a sweet husband to be willing to do that for you!

    I can see how he made the mistake. I didn’t even know they made pads for incontinence that looked like pads with wings.Β  At least he didn’t get you the pull-up kind. πŸ™‚

    Thank you for this laugh. I needed to laugh today. I totally believe God gives you fodder for your blog. I’m so happy you are writing. Your blog is a blessing to me.

    Happy Anniversary to you both, and congratulations. πŸ™‚ 25 years is incredible… and you still have so many years before you, yet.

  2. Yes, I get it with the sneezing,and the laughing,etc..Your husband is a gem,and im glad our men will go to the store and pick up pads for us! Lol HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! 🎊

  3. Thanks for the chuckleπŸ˜„ And happy anniversary! Marriage is such a beautiful gift. My husband and I have been married 26 years and those years have brought us to such a comfortable place with one another. I’m so very thankful for each one of those years. And we can know that the best is yet to come!

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