“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”
Still be calm in my heart?!? “God, help me, perform it in me, I cannot do this on my own, with my own efforts, I need YOU.”
I’m overwhelmed and my mind is in a whirl. Those dark, negative thoughts (from the pits) want to destroy me. When those dark thoughts come, I find it is necessary to run to my Bible, write the words, read them, drink them into my soul like medicine. I tell God the truth about myself (He knows all about me, anyway): “Lord, I’m finding it all so difficult.”
Ouch. It hurts sometimes.
I’ve wandered around here for days, feeling my own pulse, with the fear/stress sitting right in my chest, making me wonder if it’s my heart. I ran across an article at the boy’s hair cuts on Saturday about the terrible effects of STRESS on a woman’s heart and that just kept me on a goin’………
The only thing I know for sure in these trials (for me, the darkest trials are mental), is that God has only GOOD planned for His precious children. He is so amazing he even uses trials for good. He LOVES so abundantly and has marvelous things in mind, always.
He forgives.
He is gentle.
He pours out His Spirit.
Jesus intercedes and I can pray in His name.
He GOES before us into battle, He has made a way, He’s leading me along this journey. He’s not just next to me, he’s BEFORE me. He’s carrying me!
His grace is amazing and sweet.
Oh how my heart craves HIM, His teachings, His direction, His power.
Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
On Sunday afternoon, I took Caleb to a quiet road nearby, to ride his bike. It was just the two of us.
It doesn’t come naturally at times, to put my self aside and pour my life into his (and his siblings), but by God’s grace it does happen now and then, as a gift, despite the exhaustion. Not just for Caleb, but for myself.
When we give freely of ourselves, we truly get good in return. Joy. Peace. A good memory in the midst of a fog.
Yes, I’m personally experiencing some hard times, currently. It’s okay. I ask for prayer, if I happen to cross your mind, friends. And if you have a struggle, I would like to do the same for you. ((hugs))
I’m working on health. I’m going to the doctor’s today, for some (hopefully) helpful tips and suggestions on how to pace myself during this stage of life, and hopefully become better at dealing with these emotions/hormones.
Other helps:
Drink more water/eat properly
Pray more
read God’s Word
rest, and as I close my eyes, imagine God’s ministering angels in the room
DO the things God gave me the joy to do: ex) photography, reading
Focus OUT, not in
music (playing, singing, listening)
maintain gentleness and love toward my family, be thankful
Let go, let God
This WILL pass, I hope, won’t it? maybe? soon? very soon?
briefly let out a sharp scream now and then (just kidding)
I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:18, 19 (totally loving this verse!)
Thank you for stopping by here, friends. You are loved. 
Good to be Home 
Hugs, Shanda. 😦 I will be praying for you today. May the peace of Jesus rest on you today. May the Spirit bring your mind clarity and focus and may you be able to get some much needed rest. I pray for peace and joy that go beyond understanding, and for you to be able to rest in the middle of all that is going on. I pray against any sickness in the name of Jesus, and I ask for grace for you to be able to handle with grace those things which are necessary. Peace to your heart, my friend, in the name of Jesus.
Definately praying for peace that passes all understanding. I love your list of “other helps”. It is so hard not to get discouraged and overwhelmed in this stage of motherhood (I know, I am there…and then I added grad. school…LOL). God is faithful. I’ve found it to be true over and over.Blessings friend. PS–I think of you every time I make the Fall Harvest cake (your recipe). Made it yesterday for a 6th grade dessert auction.
{{Hugs}} to you this morning.Everyday life of a mother and wife can get stressful. All the tiny little things added up into a big heap of…Ahhhhh! I can’t do this!My mom has been the leader of our homeschool group for 17 years. When I was younger and had only one child, I would sit in at our monthly mom’s meetings and listen.I remember my mom and other women saying how much easier it was when they’re children were little…I didn’t get it. I remember in my ignorance thinking why? I always thought there would be less to do because the kids would start taking care of themselves and cleaning up after themselves…Ha! It’s not that I don’t love this stage…it’s just a lot busier than I expected. There is a lot more emotional involvement and that can be more draining than chasing a two year old.(Although you are in the midst of many stages!!! You have much more on your plate!) If I lived closer I would be bring you a big pot of soup and freshly baked rolls for dinner. (and some sort of dessert…chocolate of course!)And flowers for you table. But shipping this in time for tonight’s dinner from Illinois to Conn.,….not going to happen. So please accept my virtual meal. =)For a stressed woman you sure sound like you have it together though. You who are stressed have written out encouraging verses and relaxing thoughts.I will be praying for you this day/week. Hope your today is good.
“(for me, the darkest trials are mental)” true, true!! i think it’s easy as moms to put one foot in front of the other and forge ahead doing laundry, housework, dinner, etc. but it’s in those places no one sees.. those hidden away parts, where it’s the most difficult to “conquer” and do what we know we need to~ sometimes i feel it’s because i just don’t have TIME to stop! to take thoughts captive and deal with the things racing through my mind, ya know what i mean? and in those times i find the prayer of my heart is simply, “God.. force my gaze to you!” like a mother who takes her child’s face in her hands when she’s wanting his undivided attention.. that’s what i often envision the Lord doing with me! besides, He knows i have ADD and it can be hard for me to focus. ;)i WILL pray for you though, friend. and you do the same for me! i know rich is away alot right now, and so is shayne~ that makes things extra tough!so glad you shared here. it’s not easy to be vulnerable in a “public” setting~ but as the body of Christ we need each other. near or far, and maybe never even having met… BUT, we serve the same Lord!! and because of that we’re on the same team.. and we can holler words of encouragement across the miles here and help cheer one another on!! 🙂 such a cool thing to be part of His family, eh!remember, “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemy before you…” {deut. 33:27} may you just FEEL HIM near today. drawing you in. holding you up. fighting your battles for you!! much love to you dear girl!
Praying for you. These times do certainly come in the constant demands of life. These are the times I really hate being in, and really love looking back upon to see what God has done. Love to you!
I’m with you sister. Across the miles, I’m so where you are: not in family stage, but in the needing peace in the midst of storm; in the fighting of dark thoughts; in the crying out to God. I guess it’s right where He wants us: turning to Him, knowing our need.”Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit.” II Cor. 3:5,6a ESV It’s encouraging to remember that He has made me competent to be a minister to my husband, my children, my neighbors. Not by my strength, but His. May you have power, and love, and a sound mind today.Sarah
Hi~I have often followed recs to your site and am always encouraged!Saying a prayer for you this morning~Holly
Praying for you, dear Xanga friend! I, too, have been in such difficult places before…. but praise the Lord for his FAITHFULNESS in always bringing us through :)For me, a big key is SUNSHINE!!! Oh my, when the days start to get darker sooner I can just feel my body and soul getting darker, too. Last year my mom bought be a “sunshine lamp,” and it gradually gets brighter in the morning when you are getting up (you set whatever time you want) and it helps me SO SO much. It’s a lifesaver, really.
I like what you said…..The only thing I know for sure in these trials (for me, the darkest trials are mental), is that God has only GOOD planned for His precious children. He is so amazing he even uses trials for good. He LOVES so abundantly and has marvelous things in mind, always.I’ve been going though some mental hard times as well. Kinda tired of when I’m doing for work and ready to head to the next thing like enjoy seeing the world or something 😛 Last week I got an offer that I thought “this is it” but then God said no, which was so hard. It doesn’t seem to be just me though, as I know several people struggling. Maybe it’s the change in the seasons and everything changing?May God give you is rest and peace today.
Praying for you. I love your transparency and willingness to share with us!!
Praying for you Shanda
I know that little love Caleb truly loved the mommy time with you. You are such a good mom, Shan. Such dear happy children. Praying for you dear friend. It really is a huge work raising our loved children, and I am so glad you share during these times of struggle, so we can pray for you! You are doing well in knowing it is God who is your hope. During the change in hormones, I was SO SAD and found resting in the Lord, crying to Him, and reading His word was the most powerful help to me. He is good. Struggling through that time has given me more understanding, and drew me so close to God, so I agree, the Lord works in us for good! Keep leaning! All the helps you listed are so good too. It helps to support our bodies and spirits so we can do the good work God calls us to. By searching I have found things that help me. Praying you do too. I too wish I was nearby to lend a hand. Found these scripture prayers in Stormie Omartians’s little book to be helpful, hope you do too. “Lord, I worship You. You are my Lord and King, my precious Redeemer. There is no other God like You, entirely full of goodness, grace, and mercy. You heal us when we are brokenhearted and bandage our wounds. You build us up when we are weak in our soul(Psalm 147:1-4) You are great and powerful, O Lord, and You understand all things, even what is in my heart (Psalm 4:7) This day I put on the garment of praise in exchange for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:1-3), and I glorify You as Lord of all.”Love and hugs, Jen
I’m going through a very hard time myself. And its a big battle inside my head. I will pray for you…could you for me as well? Thanks
I’m where you are, except for me my biggest hurdle comes when I realize I can’t please everyone. I can’t do everything, for everyone all of the time. I have to stop myself. Listen to His word. Remember that my little family and husband are my soul – and put my focus back where it belongs. Somedays I find I want to scream out loud and throw my hands up in frustration because I feel so worn thin. Then I stop, listen to Christian music, or open my bible and read the highlighted verses that speak to my heart – and things calm again. Praying you are finding solace in your comforts and with your family. It will pass.
I am at a totally different stage in life, but how well I remember those feelings of “I just can’t do this any more” with five children of our own and three foster children all in various stages of life. But somehow with the Lord, we make it through! Each stage in life brings it’s own challenges. My house is silent now and at times it is still a battle of the mind – to be thankful and count blessings rather than calamities. I am DEVOURING “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, and can’t recommend it highly enough. Every woman needs to read it – over and over! Bless you, dear mom!
This post was very real & spoke to my soul right now. I agree with mental struggles causing me the most stress. Thanks for sharing your heart & I’ll pray for you as the Lord brings you to mind.
It seems every one of us has either been in your shoes or is sharing them, right now. You know all the right things to do….just do them. And add one more….take a long walk. Walking (or any exercise) helps calm my mind so much. It really is the best physical thing you can do, even if you think you’re tired.I read a chapter from one of Chuck Swindoll’s books at our last Prayer Shawl Ministry gathering….it was about a Christian NOT being able to say “I can’t,” because the truth is, we should be saying “I won’t.” Claiming all the power of God’s word gives us the ability to do whatever our task is…at any particular time….if we just WILL.Praying for you with love and confidence.
Most if not all of the battle is in the mind! That’s the reason for the importance of renewing our minds by the Word of God which I know you’re doing. My morning and evening walks help me sort through thoughts, feelings, and pray till I have peace. You’re an amazing woman to be able to take care of many children with the husband gone much of the week. God sees you and knows your needs. As I was thinking of you today and praying for you this song came to mind, so I googled it came across this devotional http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/devotions/young_lifter.aspx I hope it encourages you. God will lead you and direct you, give you wisdom and knowledge.
Hi there Shanda, just wanted to say that your blog is a blessing to me. Today when I was in a Charity shop, I think you call them Thrift shops, I saw a lovely little blue jug, I turned it over and discovered it is Fiesta ware! We dont have much of it over here in the UK. I immediately thought of you, I bought it, for 20p which is so little and planned to ask for your address to send it to you if you would like it, however, at the moment it is on my kitchen worktop and I will endeavour to pray for you each time I see it sitting there. God bless you and thank you for your honesty. How great that we all worship the same Lord.
big hugs… and whispered prayers as you cross my mind. your transparency is courageous. your honesty an encouragement. the “darkest trials are mental” for me too. so it just plain means alot that you wrote all this.tonight as i was tucking jacob in bed a song came on the radio,an old one. he knows that i like it and asked to go downstairs to hear it better.and even though it was that.time.of.day. that’s what we did. and we held each other as we listenedand i cried. “my deliverer is coming…” so how is that related? 🙂 i don’t know anymore…except that it is so very hopeful.lifting you to The Deliverer. yours and mine.
Once more, I’m putting you at the top of my prayer list! Hugs dear friend! xo xo
Bless your heart , Shanda! I struggled for 4 years… gynecologist tested different things, finally just told me” it’s called being a Mom”. 😦 Didn’t believe him… and Praise the Lord, someone told me about a natural/ conventional Dr. who draws bloodwork and checks all your hormone and vitamin levels , then she treats you specifically on what you need! Glory be to God, I am feeling so-o-o much better! And I could tell a difference within 2 days and it just gradually kept getting better! And it’s all natural hormone replacement~ I wouldn’t trust synthetic~ Hope this helps and hope you can find help! And truly , off balance hormones can affect us in more ways than we realize! Will be praying for you!
I thought of you so much yesterday when I read my daily e-mail from “A Holy Experience”. Ann Voskamp is the author of “One Thousand Gifts” – a book EVERY woman should read over and over!! She’s a farmer’s wife, mother of 6, and VERY interesting writer – one who makes you stop, ponder, and return for more! Yesterday her link took me to http://www.incourage.me (home for the hearts of women, it says) Google – Tiger Mother? or the making of velveteen mothers. I think many of you moms would enjoy this! I love her daily blogs with links for things to do with families, pictures, thoughts etc. and I am simply devouring her book – and following the plan she encourages in the book!!
@grams53 – Thank you so much! I have her book, I’ll have to re-read it again. She is a beautiful woman, with an important message. Thank you for thinking of me!
Shanda, sweet friend – I’ll be praying for you. I’ve been in that dark place where you are struggling. I’m so glad you’re going to the doctor to see about your hormones – our body chemicals being out of whack can be so hard to deal with. All of these suggestions are good ones, and you know in your heart what to do. I know, for me, getting enough sleep, trying to eat healthy food and avoid sugar (I’ve just recently realized that eating sugar makes my anxiety level skyrocket, especially in the mornings!), and getting exercise are the best things physical things I can do for my mental health. God bless you – may He build you up where you’re broken down, and strengthen you where you’re weak. These struggles are making your spirit stronger. Keep us posted. Love from your friend in the Arkansas hills!