God has blessed me with seven children, five of which are busy, active boys.
I get tired at times, grumpy, mad, impatient.
The past few days have been like that for me. The children and I had lots and lots of good moments, but I found my fuse shorter than usual.
I told my husband last night with tears running down my cheeks that I didn’t feel good enough to be a mother. (He encouraged me that I was good enough, and doing great.)
Yes, by God’s grace and through His leading I somehow get through the days, I do get through them. And then, at nighttime when the house is finally finally quiet, my aching head hits the pillow and I sleep such a wonderful sleep. Sometimes. I am still nursing a little girl baby, too, after all. 
For the past few days David and Caleb have been vanishing for long periods of time, outdoors. When I asked what they were doing I learned that they had a Clubhouse in the chicken coop. I thought that was precious, I wondered what they were working on and talking about, out there for so long. I’ve been busy and didn’t go look. I was so busy that I had Ethan go spy, but when he came back to report I was too busy to listen very well.
You see, Seth has been giving me a run for my money. If I leave him alone he gets into mischief right away. In fact, the reason I’m sitting and typing now, is only because Rich is home from work and putting him to bed.
He does stuff like this, all day long:
Anyway. This morning I went downtown to get some candles for our advent devotional we are reading through. When I came home, I bundled up my busy boy Seth and we walked outside to find some pretty pine needles to arrange around the candles. We walked together to the chicken coop and when I opened the door, not expecting anything at all, I found it, I found The Clubhouse.
I haven’t had the mental resources to write lately, I needed some fresh inspiration…..and, as it often happens, I found it in my children. Happily, I ran to get my camera.
The metal garbage can holds the chicken feed. The boys put a bunk bed ladder on top and that’s how they get up to the loft. Seems kind of dangerous to me.
“the only pepel hoo are alowed is David Austin Caled Leio and Keney”
“No girs olowed”
I stood up on the garbage can and still couldn’t see what was up there so I lifted the camera up and shot a couple of blind pictures.
Their clubhouse is sparsely decorated, with a resting spot (David’s name for it) with a sleeping bag and pillow. A shelf that has a hammer and a knife (the one he made himself when he was blacksmithing, David explained), a glass that holds nails, guns on the wall, and a table in the middle of the floor.
When I asked what they did up there all the time I learned that they basically just sat around and made further plans/hopes/wishes/dreams for the clubhouse.
As we were leaving the coop/clubhouse I found a couple of things that have been missing. I get frustrated when the children don’t know where their coats are when I send them outside or we have to go someplace. There are so many of us that I simply cannot keep track of everyone’s stuff. I can’t. I have learned that sooner or later things will turn up. I found the boy’s coats today, in obvious plain sight.
Caleb’s coat:
David’s coat:
Now, if we can just find Sethie’s new coat I’ll really be over the moon with joy!
I’ve often thought that if I were a child growing up in this place, I would go hide out in the chicken coop and make myself a special spot in a quiet nook. It makes me happy to see that the children have decided to do just that.
Did you have a fort, clubhouse, or treehouse when you were growing up?
Good to be Home 
I have those days as a mom too, and I only have three! You ARE doing great!!! Your Seth is much like my little Jake, whoa nellie! Sometimes I just want to put him in a rubber room! lolI love your boys clubhouse! Very creative! I had many different forts, treehouses, etc. growing up, we moved often so they were all a bit different. Very fond memories!
Busy, busy boys (especially Sethie right now)!! The clubhouse is great! We had a playhouse, and spent many hours and even nights (in the summer) in there. So much fun!
I only have one boy (four girls) and boys just seem so busy. I can certainly hear your frustration. It’s hard to do the things you HAVE to do without constantly checking out the mischievious child =).I love the clubhouse. I especially love the signs. My daughter wrote a “keep out” message on her door too. (I laughed to myself because, at that time, none of the others could read).I remember building forts in the cornfield behind the house when I was a child.
LOL I laughed so hard at that pic of Seth! What’s funny is that even my girl is like this. : ) Boy, do I understand those days… and yeah, with only 3! Can’t begin to imagine 7. Praying for a good night’s sleep for you! ; )
Thank you for sharing so honestly! I had one of those days today with my four boys. The tears fell fast this evening as I thought about the moments today of impatience and anger with them. Even with my 18 month old who is just a baby! I had to keep asking God to help me through this day! I feel so, so inadequate to mother these boys well! In my mind, somehow I picture a much older mother who is calm, patient, never raises her voice, keeps up with everything, and I just wish I could be her. But I’m 31, (pregnant and hormonal too!), and I’m just learning, learning, learning as I go. The picture you put up of Seth, oh how it did my heart good, to know that someone else is somehow managing with a toddler who is into everything too! My Benjamin who is 18 months is so very adorable right now, but he is SO SO SO much trouble! I found myself just sitting down with him so many times today with the realization that I just couldn’t get anything else accomplished except be a lap to hold him and read him all the little board books he kept bringing me. Thanks again for being transparent.
Love the clubhouse and the signs.
I think it is funny that he is almost looking right at that verse in the window! I called Steve over and we had a good laugh, Steve said “He’s a little imp!” Your days are so full! even with these most recent posts I keep thinking when I read your words “I miss having a toddler!” I went back and read the post about your little walk with him, so funny!
Oh, I so understand the feelings that comes along with constantly keeping tabs on a busy little boy. Mine is very quick to climb drawer knobs and unto the counter to get whatever he wants up there. I can never really turn my back for too long, or there will be someting gotten into. I am told it will keep me young. š I guess, but he is such a precious little boy and doesn’t seem to get it why I’d like him to ask instead of always helping himself. A certain amount of independence is a good thing…just not the dangerous stuff.
Our things get lost just like that all the time!I can relate to how you’ve been feeling with 5 boys (and 4 girls!) here too! My mind is very much in need of some quiet time by evening when they go to bed. Also the 2 year old….she does the same things…into everything:):) Just yesterday I posted about her “artwork” on my walls!These are busy days for sure…I enjoy reading that I’m not alone!
You know all my tree forts and special places when I was a child – you were right there with me…helping make them and making plans for our future. We had such grand places to explore…fallen trees, creeks, hay stacks, apple trees, rock piles, fairy villages, fern valleys, etc. I love the boys’ comfortable spot….they are very industrious. My girls have about 6 or 7 special spots on our land that they have different names for…but I usually am not paying to close of attention when they tell me about their “new ones” until I stumble upon them myself when I’m out for a walk.
oh, so fun!! never had a club/tree house but remember so well the first time i saw Swiss Family Robinson and suddenly having a tree HOUSE of my own became my dream. :)love the Bible verse written out above your sink!
.. what you said about your children being your inspiration reminded me of this quote~”Many people have said to me, ‘What a pity you had such a big family to raise. Think of the novels and the short stories and the poems you never had time to write because of that.’ And I looked at my children and I said, “These are my poems. These are my short stories.” ~ Olga Masters. š
When we were younger, we made the forts with chairs, couches, and lots of blankets…took up the entire front living room once…and we slept in it one night–we all had our little rooms…wow…that was over 15 years ago when we did that…(now i realize how old I am getting…geesh)
Your little Seth reminds me of my grandson, Lucas. He is a climber, too. My daughter, in exasperation, turned all the dining room chairs over on their sides because he cannot so easily push them around and climb up on them when they are like that! Sometimes he climbs up on things and can’t get down. Then he roars for help, or else, one of the dogs comes and “tells” my daughter she needs to come quick! LOL!~~ When I was little, my Dad built us the best tree house! I had two levels. We loved it! Mom used to let us take our lunch up there. Sometimes we were pirates. Sometimes we were spies. Sometimes we were astronauts! We also had a playhouse which was many other things as well, depending on what we were playing that day! ~~ I can only imagine the chaos, the mess, and the LAUNDRY that all those busy children can create! Bless you my dear! I think you are doing an amazing job!
I have those days often myself…The days when I think I shouldn’t be a mother because I fail so often…But the Lord’s Grace gets me through each day and I like you have a supportive husband who shows me love and affirms that I am doing the best I can do and to keep seeking the Lord for strength. I never knew how hard motherhood would be but neither did I know the supreme JOY that comes along with it too. Those feelings are very normal and we need to make sure we don’t give into the LIES OF SATAN. For that is what they are. I LOVE the verse on your window sill. That brought a smile to my face. š What a great little fort….And in answer to your question I never really had a fort like that BUT I grew up IN TOWN in Grand Rapids Mi. We lived by the railroad tracks and my sister and I would go and hide under bushes there. We also made little special places under the yew bushes in our front yard and of course under the steps of the basement! I am so thankful to the Lord that He has led us back to the house where my husband grew up…And are living in the country with space abounding for our kids. We have not lived here long but I love looking out the windows and watching my little ones play…Already they have a special little spot down through the field next to the creek…There are some large vines and bushes that have grown up and out and it is just tall enough for my three littles to crawl under and go make a special little place under there…I am certain though that will only be one of many little places the kids find to play and have a fort in. Thank you for your thoughts and your posts. I love reading them!
Love the picture of Seth on the sink. Is your husband going to make a safer ladder for the boys to get to their clubhouse? (Spoken as a grandma.) I grew up in the city, so no clubhouse, but we had a closet with 2 doors.
There was a grove of woods in our neighborhood (sadly, later it was replaced with another house), but this grove of woods had large, wide holes dug throughout them. The neighborhood “gang” used to places sticks and brush over the holes and that would be our hideout, clubhouse, etc…. Oh, those were the days!We need to simply move to our Ohio farm so our boys have the 25 acres to run and be boys. As it is, they don’t get a whole lot of that – for fear they’ll break/ruin something (we rent right now). But they really need ROOM to be boys!BTW – we read Jotham’s Journey last year and Bartholomew’s Passage this year. Next year we’ll meet Tabitha!
My friends and I used to LOVE to build clubhouses and form clubs. We were like Caleb and David, though, and never did much beyond making plans. Are you familiar with the Betsy-Tacy books, and how Betsy and Tacy always made the plans, but Tib was the one to act on them? We were like that, except we never had a Tib!We are currently dealing with some major behavioral shifts in our three-year-old (and people say two is a hard age!), and oh, I have been feeling the “not good enough to be a mother” too these days. Thank goodness for grace, and a loving Father who IS good enough, and who supplies our lack!
You are a GREAT and very fun mother! I think it is neat that in spite of how busy you are and how many children you have, you make it a point to spend special time with different children alone from time to time. š I don’t know how you do it. You’re awesome.
I remember times when my three made me feel unworthy and humbled, so often. And they still do! Motherhood is not a race you win or a goal you ever achieve–you’ll be a mother all your life, and even when your boys and girls are grownups, you’ll still have those days when you feel that you can’t do it right, you can’t answer all their questions (they get tougher as the children get older!), you make a mistake in judgment. But the good thing is that the longer you’re a mother, the more times you’ll be rewarded with knowing you’ve done something right. Not everything, but something for today. And that’s enough. Grace for today is all we need. Grace, and LOTS of ENERGY!Your chicken house is quite nice! In fact, if I had it in my backyard, I might consider moving the hens out and moving myself in and having a hideout (or clubhouse or playhouse) all for myself! My neighbor had a playhouse when we were kids, and all of us in the neighborhood loved it. We spent days and weeks, every summer, writing and producing elaborate plays that we’d put on for our parents. We had the idea that we’d charge admission and make money. That didn’t happen, but we sure had fun. When my children were small, my grandfather came to spend a week with us and built a playhouse in our backyard for the kids. Our two girls especially loved it–they decorated it and had their dolls and doll furniture and toy kitchen and dishes out there, and we let them spend the night when they had friends over, sleeping in their Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bags. My grandmother made red gingham curtains for the window. When we sold that farm and moved back to Missouri, that was one thing I hated to leave behind–I think it was more for me than for my children that Grandad built it.
Sheesh! I have those days with only 1! I breathed a huge sigh of relief after I put Brooke to bed last night and turned to my hubs and told him that this mom thing is a full time job! š Love their club house. My brother and I would turn anything we could into a club house. When we lived in Germany, we turned our storage unit into one, the same thing when we lived in MD. We had a club house ON TOP of a small wooden shack/office my dad built and in a big group of bushes that had a clear area in the middle. Wow! All these memories I haven’t thought about in a while. Thanks!
oh our little charming Seth is a real live wire! May God give you extra grace. You do a WONDERFUL job as their mom, and I know they will rise up and call you blessed. Thankfully when you call on God, admit mistakes and say sorry, love on them, and keep on…they thrive and do love you in return. God teaches us so much through our children, and our dying to self. He also understands that our physical bodies get tired! I can say all that as a mom of only 3 and how tired and grumpy I felt at times and still do!We had a wonderful childhood. We had a playhouse that moved to 3 different houses. I loved making mud pies and things with play dough! We also would simply throw a blanket over a tree limb that grew horizontally and have an “Indian dwelling” in the “forest” between our house and my Grandmothers. We also had a small tree house in the forest and often played secret agent, a swing on a long long rope in another area, and a the big pine tree it hung from, Mary and I would climb and hang out in. Bob and the boys built a great playhouse in our backyard when they were little. My David was a big climber, and I found him up on the roof of it (it was as big as a one story house) when he was about Seths age. He had climbed up the tree onto the roof. He also learned to climb up the two story tree on a hill in the back yard…so he was about 3 stories up, that was probably when he was 3 yrs. Thankfully he did fine. Little boys with big brothers think they can do about anything! Thankfully they have those big brothers to help look after them. Love you! Do you have snow? Jenny
hi shanda…….i just love your posts that put a big smile on my face! seth is too funny at the sink. love it. and what a great imagination david and caleb have! they must be learning from their big brothers.
this fall my husband finished a tree house in the back yard for our boys. it has been the hit of the neighborhood!! it makes me smile watching them have so much fun with it.
and by the way, you are doing an awesome job as a mom. your blog has been so inspirational to me, and many others, i’m sure. your husband is so sweet, understanding, and supportive of you, too. you are truly blessed!
glorious good times. we used to make forts in the living room with pillows or put sheets over the table. one of our families supporters actually made us a ‘house’ out of blankets that fit over our card table. it was lovely. we played in it for hours.
The clubhouse seems so fun! What a perfect place for the boys!!I love the sign on your window sill. God is not the author of confusion! That is helped me out through so many things!
We are reading the same Advent story. Isn’t it so suspenseful! Can’t wait till the Messiah comes!
We had forts growing up. My dad would mow paths and rooms in the tall brush/woods around our house. Mom said she could see our heads from the house playing out in our houses. When my grandmother built an apartment onto our house, the workers used the leftover wood to build a sturdy fort up on stilts for us. It had a flimsy ladder when we were kids but my mom has since replaced it with a staircase . . . “for the grandkids.”
I love what your boys have built. Hudson suggested that they shoot some chickens to eat:)
Oh my, that ladder arrangement looks dubious lol!! What fun!!!
Good gracious!!! Seth is a smart little climber though. He remembered to bring a chair! I remember finding my kiddo’s tottering on the edge like that because they had monkey climbed up the front of the cabinets. Used to give me a heart attack!The club house is awesome!!! Could just use a few curtains… and a vase of flowers! Bwhahahahaha!
How precious that they made a clubhouse! It looks like the perfect one to:)
I love your blog. I don’t comment much, but I read often. :o)I grew up in the country on 14 acres, along a river (we had a creek that flowed to the river too!) We had a field and woods. My sister and I were constantly making forts in the woods. All the time. Recently (and I’m 26 now) my dad was out in the woods by our old forts and he found all his shovels and rakes etc.. out there. lol You’re right things eventually do turn up! Hopefully you’ll find Seth’s coat sooner though rather than later!
Awe, this post made me smile…and then I remembered my grandfather’s chicken house. No chickens, but he’d hide shinny copper pennies for us to find…he told us the golden goose laid them
I SO totally understand that not-good-enough feeling. Right now life feels chaotic with even just three children, especially since one is a baby! He demands a lot of my attention so I feel like I’m neglecting the older two somewhat, and the house feels messy beyond repair. Yep, I beat myself up a lot.
I think you are SUCH a wonderful mother and look up to you a lot. Seth…my oh my, what a little daredevil! LOL!