that negative voice in my head


Sarah has found her little chubby fists.  Sometimes she holds both her hands together in a big double giant fist, and chews away.  She goes at them like they are yummy.  She is yummy.  When I see her face here on my blog, and in real life beside me as I type, I am filled with gratitude to God for His wonderful gift of babies, and children.

Confession:  I’ve been negative lately.  I have negative whispering (shouting) going on in my head all day.  “I can’t homeschool, I’m failing, I’m not a good mother, I am not a good wife, I can’t keep the house clean, it’s a beautiful day and I can’t go outside because I’m too busy, I haven’t read my Bible enough, I’m not a good friend,” on and on. 

I wonder if some of you might be feeling the same way?  If so, you might enjoy some encouragement to think more positively today.  What we say to ourselves is important.  The Bible says to think of lovely things, true and good things.  God knows that a mind filled with hurtful talk is not in our best interest.  He wants the best for his children, He wants us content and joyful.

“Most people carry on a silent conversation with themselves during the day.  This ‘self-talk’ has a direct effect on your thoughts and behaviors.  Understanding self-talk, and its effects on you, can help you learn to rewrite your own self-talk ‘script’ and maintain a positive mental attitude.”

“You’ve probably heard the term ‘self-fulfilling prophecy.’  Self-talk is very much like a self-fulfilling prophecy–something you think about so much you can actually make it happen.  When your self-talk is positive–‘Things will work out,’  ‘I can do this job,’ you are giving yourself permission to succeed, and chances are, you will.  When your self-talk is negative you are giving up on yourself and chances are you won’t even try to succeed.”

“Negative self-talk can increase your distress, and can make effects such as headaches or stomach pain much worse.  Fortunately, positive self-talk can have the opposite effect, leading to a confident, positive attitude.”

“Learn to listen to your own self-talk.  One good away is to use pencil and paper to note your automatic responses to an idea.  Draw three columns on the sheet.  In the first column, write several things you would like to happen.  Then, close your eyes and listen to how you react to each item.  Write your self-talk in the second column.  In the third column, write down a thought which is the opposite of the one in column two.  Now look at your list.  If column two is more positive than column three, you’re already on your way to thinking positively.  If column two is more negative, look at column three for a more helpful, healthier response.  Practice choosing positive self-talk.  You’ll feel happier and more confident.”

~Quotes are all from an article that I was given after having one of my babies.

All this focus on SELF, as a Christian, might make you nervous.  It makes me nervous.  Now I have even more negative thoughts….”boy are you selfish, so self-centered!”  But remember, God does tell us to examine our hearts so that we can be aware of any sin we need to confess.  Using my mind to think negatively can be sinful, but if I confess that sin He is faithful to forgive and cleanse.  I want to glorify God in everything, and my mind is a precious gift from Him.  I want to use it in the best way, in a way that glorifies and pleases my Father in heaven.

I found these verses this morning and wrote them down, to help me when I am being negative:

“Let the words of my mouth AND the meditation of my heart (heart=mind or seat of emotions) be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”  Psalms 19:14

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”  Psalms 51:10

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”  Proverbs 23:7

“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts….these are the things that defile a man.”  Matthew 15:19  (footnote from the Life Application Bible:  We work hard to keep our outward appearance attractive, but what is in our hearts is even more important.  The way we are deep down (where others can’t see) matters much to God.  What are you like inside?  When people become Christians, God makes them different on the inside.  He will continue the change process inside them if they only ask.  God wants us to seek healthy thoughts and motives, not just healthy food and exercise.)

“Bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”  2 Corinthians 10:5

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are TRUE, whatsover things are HONEST, whatsoever things are JUST, whatsoever things are PURE, whatsoever things are LOVELY, whatsoever things are OF GOOD REPORT, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, THINK on these things.”  Philippians 4:8  (footnote:  Replace harmful input with wholesome material.  Above all, read God’s word and pray.  Ask Him to focus your mind on what is good and pure.  It takes practice, BUT IT CAN BE DONE.)


We need to encourage each other.  I want to thank my friends and family for encouraging me and lifting me up when I am down.  I hope I can do the same for you, when you need a friendly voice and words of love.


0 thoughts on “that negative voice in my head

  1. I had quite the negative thoughts about 6 months ago and what helped me is just to say “no” to them. As Satan is cranking them out, just stop and say “no” or “that’s not true”. It really helped as crazy as it seems to turn my thoughts towards something good. If Satan can get our thoughts under control he’s got half the battle won.

  2. I needed to read that today as I’ve woken up this morning with negative thoughts swirling in my head…and for some reason (probably to escape real life) I turned on my computer and saw you updated…..and I must say…I need this reminder this morning. Thank you so much for sharing that you have days like this too…it will be a strength to me today to know that you and others are out there in this big world turning their thoughts around to what is good and living for God! I can do it too…we both can and we WILL have a lovely day!PS: I can relate to EVERYTHING you listed btw:)

  3. It is Satan’s way of making us doubt ourselves and our great God.  We often are so much harder on ourselves than any of our friends.  (I don’t mind dirt nearly as much at a friend’s house).  I totally agree that we need to encourage others along this life journey.  So often I’ve found that as I share with a friend, the burden is lifted as we share it together!!  Thanks for your post.

  4. AND don’t forget:”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, WITH THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phip 4:6-7

  5. I completely understand! It is hard for my sweet hubby to understand the thoughts I have…Isn’t God’s word amazing though and I am so thankful for the comfort and direction we can find in His word….Thank you for being transparent. Love and prayers.

  6. What a sweet woman you are Shanda. Thanks for sharing with us today. I think women often struggle with these kinds of thoughts, especially as we work to create a home for our husband and children…I know I have. God has led you in the way you should go, great verses. Seeking that mind that is set on Him. Love, JennyPS- love chubby little fist eating Sarah. So cute. Saw video of an ultrasound of my grand baby. About the size of a big peach now!!

  7. This is practical stuff, words are so powerful. I think we are especially vulnerable to the “negative talk” when we’re physically tired.Next time you have a thought about being a bad friend, feel free to quote “Thus saith Angie…” to the contrary!!!

  8. That exercise which stems from cognitive behavioral therapy is a great one, connecting it to spirituality makes it even better. I too struggle with thinking negative, thank you for reminding me I need to work on my own self-talk.

  9. First,  the baby in that picture is so so adorable. God Bless! Second, I love how you’re realistic in your thoughts. Meaning, you admit to have negative thoughts and how often you hear them throughout the day and yet, you remember God and what he says, and not to forget about other things that help to brighten-up the mood like that article you mentioned. Thank you for sharing.

  10. I think we all have those negative times…I know I do.  And usually it is when I am tired, stressed, and lonely for someone who does not want me to do anything for them.  Thanks for sharing and remember that you are a great mom, wife, and homeschool teacher…we just don’t always take time to look at the journey that we have been on.  Look back to where you and your children were a couple of years ago and you will see the progress…it is so hard to see it on a daily basis.  Love You and wish we could spend a day together.~Col~

  11. I love the quotes! Writing stuff out is always so helpful! Especially for me and home schooling, so I would say it could work for just about anything from housework to being a mom. Just write things out, and in about a year read over all the things you *can* do! That is mainly why I keep a blog also. Just to be able to go back and look at all we’ve accomplished! You are a wonderful lady, and no doubt a wonderful mom, and teacher! Just go back and read your own words and you will see that!

  12. I’m writing this with an ache in my soul. I have been dealing with deep heart issues for months now. And it’s pretty much narrowed down into what you just wrote… perhaps a tad beyond it though as well. I *know* the truth… who the Lord says I am… yet for some reason, I haven’t been able to pull myself out of this pit. It’s not a depression… just an overwhelming sense of failing at everything that I touch or do. And the fact that I know who I am in the Lord makes me feel like even more of a failure… like I’m slapping the Lord in the face and saying that His grace isn’t good enough. I don’t know… hard to explain all what’s going on inside of me right now. I’ve been encouraged, had truths spoken over me, and I’ve even discovered some of it comes from my own selfishness… yet I never heard it put the way you mentioned. All of this to say that your post was very much a “God-thing” to me this evening. Thank you for being so transparent and allowing the Lord to use you in this wonderful cyber world in which we live! Much love to you… and your amazing family!P.S. Sarah is beyond adorable! I love her little cherry outfit… can’t see a cherry without thinking of you!! 🙂

  13. One thing a great Bible teacher (my husband) taught me — He said there are three sources for the thoughts we have. 1.) Self generated 2.)God generated 3.) The lies of the enemy. We need to discern the source of the thoughts we are thinking, and then, either accept or reject them. It helped me to know that the negative thoughts I had were the enemy trying to bring discouragement, and that I did not have to “own” and agree with them. I love the scriptures you listed above. They are so helpful. Isn’t it interesting that we while, as Christians we would never choose to allow our eyes to look at dirty pictures or our feet to go to evil places, or our hands to do evil, many of us still accept bad thoughts in our heads? God is not in those thoughts! They are contrary to everything He says and thinks about His beloved children! I am glad you “turned it around” and I appreciate your honestly to share this with others. Sorry I am posting on your post! HUGS!

  14. hi shanda……this post spoke right to my heart and soul.  i had every exact thought you expressed in the “confession” paragraph on tuesday.  i was feeling overwhelmed and nothing i was doing or feeling was right.  it was such a beautiful day outside, and i too was just wanting to be outside to enjoy it.  we were “busy” that day (ugh, a whole other story), but thankfully i decided the kids and i could at least have a picnic lunch in the back yard since we had to eat anyway.  the fresh air and sunshine helped me regroup, for a little while at least.  i stlill had the same negative thoughts, but i was slowly starting to push them away.
    i had a friend tell me once that thinking or feeling inadequate as a wife, mother, friend, or child of God only means that our hearts are in the right place, but our minds just need a little encouragement to follow along with it.  i only know you through your blog, but it is quite evident that your heart is in the right place, shanda.  the love for your family, friends, and God always end up shining through!  hugs to you, my friend.

  15. I think if we are all honest, we all go through periods of negative thinking, I know I certainly do.  These past few months with Matt being gone have been very difficult for me.  I found myself in a hole of depression in June, that I didn’t see any way out of.  God was able to show me through His word and through the love of my friends and family that I am justified through HIM and no matter what the world says or does, I am HIS.  I am glad you were able to turn off those negative thoughts, so to speak, and I hope you are having a wonderful anniversary today.  ❤

  16. Many years ago now, when my children were young – we had five and then three foster children for a few years – I got to feeling guilty whenever I would hear a message of serving and witnessing etc., feeling like I was just home all the time.  God spoke very directly to me through a message on Noah!  He preached for 120 years.  The result?  All his family was saved.  He showed me that my life was not wasted by ministering to my family and the impact of five godly people could reach far more than just me.  Now, I think back with a very greatful heart as I see all my children in Christian ministry reaching out to others in their areas and training their children to carry on.  God is faithful – and you are involved in a GREAT ministry!!   Blessings!

  17. First of all, your Sarah is absolutely yummy! I smiled so big when her picture opened up here on my computer. Thank you for sharing her with us. I think all woman struggle with the “negative self talk.” The “evil whispering” was Satan’s first tool on woman. Even on your worst, impatient, negatiave, awful day, you are still loved by God. Nothing can separate you from that love! I am thankful for the encouragement I have found here so many times. And!….. I think you’re wonderful friend. :o)

  18. “some of you”…huh? 🙂 hand raised here. me too. hearing and listening to that negative voice in my head. and you are so right. taking care of my own mind and heart is not self-focused. it is a necessity, like putting your own oxygen mask on first during an emergency, so that i can truly be OTHERS-focused in a healthy way. thanks so much for your encouragement Shanda!

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