Yeah, that’s what I’ll do, just think of myself as sick!
Actually, I’m just plain over-tired, and am off to a “great” start this morning getting irritated with my husband’s work schedule and wondering if it’s worth it. And crying already.
I have maids coming today….the last time they were here they left me a note saying that if I want the most out of my cleaning experience that maybe I should help a little by picking up the “abundance of objects” on the floor before they come.
I’m still mad about that. But I totally exhausted myself yesterday picking up stuff like they asked me to, and directing the others to do the same, that when Caleb came over to me and wiped his sticky face ON MY ARM…I lost it with him…I can still see his crying self sitting on the bricks by the woodstove (where I sent him) dressed in his Buzz Lightyear suit. I AM NOT A NAPKIN!
I also got mad and threw away a bunch of socks. I did tons of laundry yesterday and was left with miscellaneous socks, “I’m THROWING THESE AWAY” I said as I burst into tears.
MOM! THAT’s GOING A BIT TOO FAR! says Jacob.
No, I don’t care, in they go……..and in they went. Now whenever I match socks I’ll be wondering, “did I throw the mate of this one away?” I hate socks. I want to throw them all away and buy just one size of one brand.
I have a head ache, I just want to cry and have a temper tantrum. I was snippy at Rich this morning when he said, “I’ll be home early today I promise. It won’t be any later than five.” I said, “Oh, okay, SEE YOU IN ELEVEN HOURS!” I called him on the phone to apologize, but I’m still begging God to help me not be ugly toward him.
I feel fat and unattractive. Rich wants me to grow my hair back out to shoulder length and it is in such an awkward stage of growth….I’m heavier than I ever was in previous pregnancies and that makes me feel low, too.
Seth has a doctor’s appointment at 9:15 and then I plan on taking the kids to the bookstore. Jacob has a gift certificate and I want to be out of the house when the maids are cleaning.
I’m “sick” I should be on the couch!
Should I keep the maid service? They clean the floors and dust, change sheets and make beds, scrub out the microwave, wipe counters, etc. I know when I get home later I will be happy with the cleanliness. Now that I’ve cleaned the entire house I could do that myself in an hour ro so, I’m sure of it. I’m wondering if the stress of getting ready is worth it? One good thing is that knowing they are coming does motivate me to clean really really good.
I’m just tired and I was mad when Rich said, “this is the hard part of pregnancy for you, the tiredness and emotions” but he is right……..
Can you pray for me today? I know I’ve over-stretched myself when I don’t like life, my children, or my husband! I really need to slow down today and get a grip.
Okay, gonna go get a tissue and get ready for the children to wake up……..(I’m going to go clean some more. I can’t stop! I told you I need prayer!)
Good to be Home 
Hi Shan, This is “B” just made an account only so I can write on your posts. 🙂 Sorry to hear you had a frustrating day. I hope tomorrow goes better for you. I have had a few of those days myself this past week so when I read your post… I totally could relate in many areas. Love you and prayed for you today.
you’re such a good mother and wife; everyone has days of the kind you speak of. hang in there, tomorrow will be different, and praise the Lord for His mercies which are new every morning. rest well tonight dear lady!
i just finished a bowl of chicken noodle soup, closed my doors to my room, chills from head to toe. Sometimes we are actually sick moms, other times, we just need a breather. sometimes we are both. ~ hope you made it through your day there. I woke up this morning and wondered how I could possibly conquer this day. Here it is the end, and I’m not sure I did, or if it conquered me. Nevertheless, tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. praying good rest for you there. Pregnancy is always so hard for me – my son said to me today, “Mom, you’ve spent most of your married life sick haven’t you?” I smiled a weak smile. “Well kind of” I said, “considering I’ve mostly been pregnant… but it’s been worth every single sick day…”love to youlys
Tomorrow is a new day…..hoping you are able to rest some…lifting you in prayer.
I am so sorry and wish I could bring over a pot of soup. Praying that you are in the middle of a long night’s sleep right now, and I know His mercies are NEW every morning! You are LOVELY and you are LOVED.
Shanda I am praying for you! I feel for you going thru this hard time. I wish I could reach down from texas and give you a great big hug! I can’t imagine the overwhelming feelings that u feel but I wanna encourage you so bad like you have encouraged me in the past. I love you hang in there and most of all trust in the lord with all ur heart!
I didn’t read your blog until this morning, but I said a prayer for you then! Hoping you’re having a much better day today. And . . . in spite of how you may feel, you look simply marvelous! I am envious . . . in a friendly way of course. 🙂
I can totally relate to your post. I too am 19.5 weeks pregnant (just found out its a boy), am in transition with a short hairstyle at my husbands request, feeling very “big” and sometimes sorry for myself and my 18 month old Jack is now probably going down the road of being diagnosed with autism 😦 I am glad I am not the only one to have one of those days. I will be praying for you….and as always love your blog and thank you for being so authentic!! Hugs, Andrea
Are there any homeschooling families nearby that would have teen-age daughters who would like to clean; possibly for less money and with a more helpful attitude?May you have extra strength and joy from the Lord these days……. (The joy of the Lord is your strength.. Nehemiah 8:10)